A/N: Well, it's been a while. I won't be surprised if no one is out there any more. I don't like leaving things unfinished, but my RL has been kicking my butt for quite some time now. I am really determined to try and finish this summer. I've even lost the site I used to use to find all the little details from the books for reference. There is a lot written, but a lot of editing still needs to happen. I have also pretty much forgotten all those little details I used to know about the canon. I haven't read the books in years at this point.
Please let me know if you are still out there. I apologize for the wait.
Julie - thanks for any advice that once upon a time you gave on this!
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A Change In Me
Chapter Seventeen
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Once we entered March, I realized that Joe's birthday was coming up. I knew it was my duty to actually buy him something from Sophia, but I had no idea what to get him. After our strained silence over the last several weeks, I didn't even know if he needed anything. I had asked Sophia what she wanted to get her daddy, but she said she wanted to take him to Disney World. Yeah, she was turning into a smart little cookie. Finally, I decided to get him a mug with "#1 Dad" on it. I let Sophia pick out her favorite candies to fill it with and I hoped Joe didn't think the gift was as lame as I thought it was. But it was like my brain just shut down every time I thought about him, like I had some kind of strange amnesia. I tried to recall some of the things I had learned about him during our nights at the Tasty Pastry, but my mind would always quickly find something else to focus on.
It was two weekends before Joe's birthday, and I was hoping to avoid seeing him when he picked up Sophia on Saturday. Mom gave me a disappointed look as I came in from Dickie's, entering through the kitchen on the slightest chance Joe and Sophia were going out the front. I even had parked down the street and crossed through the back yard.
"Joseph already picked up Sophia this morning so I guess you won't be seeing your daughter this weekend."
"I see her all the time. I can go see her now if I wanted to. And Joe is bringing her back tomorrow evening. I don't know why you are making such a big deal out of this. I told her I would probably not see her this morning."
"You could go see her right now?" she asked with a smirk.
"Uh, yeah. I'm sure Joe wouldn't mind."
"Mm-hmm." She turned away from me and headed back to the dining room where she was going through the bills.
"What?" I snapped at her, following her quickly into the other room.
She continued to file with exaggerated drama. "Nothing. I'm glad that you and Joseph are speaking again. He's been asking for you to call him for weeks."
Okay, well that was weird. She knew we weren't friendly any more. And if there were something important, Joe could actually leave me a voicemail like a normal person. "We speak when we need to," I agreed, still unsure of where she was going with this.
She quickly turned in her chair, to better face me. She looked pissed. "I speak to him. I speak to you. I even speak to Angie Morelli. Do you know how embarrassing it is to have to be your answering service because you are acting like a child when it comes to him?"
I stepped back and almost knocked over the pitcher on the sideboard. "I'm sorry I am such a huge embarrassment to you, Mom. I know that's all I have ever been. But we will be out of your hair in two months. Do you think you can wait that long or should we go ahead and move in with Dickie?"
"Don't you dare start acting like you are the victim here!" She slapped down the papers in her hand. "Joseph is not perfect, but neither are you. And he is trying to do right by your daughter. Whatever unresolved feelings you have need to be dealt with and put away. You're going to end up alone if you keep playing these men against each other."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"Dickie would not need to act so possessive of you if he did not feel threatened, Stephanie. You admitted as much to me yourself. And you think Joseph is going to care you have a ring on your finger if you keep playing games with him?"
"He's not like his brothers or his- "
"We don't know what he is like, Stephanie, because he has barely had a chance to prove himself."
"That's not fair, Mom. He's a good man. A good father. And he's better than I ever thought he would be. So much better." I cringed when I couldn't keep the emotion out of my voice.
She smiled smugly before standing and gently taking my hand. "And that is why you need to resolve this. You need to be able to communicate with him. This is not going to go away just because you're married. And – I know he's not his brothers, and thank God not his father – but he may not care that you have entered into marriage if he thinks you are available."
I knew I was being an immature little brat because even though a part of me very clearly recognized the wisdom in my mother's words, I was even more pissed by the time Joe brought Sophia home the next evening. I was ready to pick a fight with Joe, and sadly I knew that was what I was doing. But I had no interest in working things out with him.
"Mommy! MOMMY! MOMMY!" Sophia screamed as she ran across the yard from Joe's car to the porch. Her eyes were wild with excitement.
"Oh my!" I crouched down and embraced her when she ran into my arms. "What's this all about? Did you miss me, bug?"
"Uh-huh. But guess what?" She bounced up and down in my arms.
I glanced up at Joe who was carrying her overnight bag up to the porch. I gave him a slight nod, my one attempt at being cordial. He grinned at me, looking relieved that I was making an effort. Sophia and Joe shared an excited look, clearly sharing something between them.
"What?" I asked both of them.
"I got a puppy!" she squealed. "I got a puppy and he's so cute! And I love him so much, but Daddy said that he couldn't come with us so we had to leave him at Daddy's."
I blinked at her and took a deep breath. I was surprised, and I wasn't too happy either. "A puppy? Wow, bug. What's his name?"
"Bob." She gave me a big smile, looking very proud. "I named him Bob."
"You named him?" I looked up at Joe, who shrugged and gave a small chuckle.
He crouched down next to her and kissed her head. "She really wanted to name him that."
"I did, Mommy. Isn't Bob a good name?" She giggled excitedly.
I nodded slowly. "Well, Grammy has some cookies and milk for you. Why don't you –" She started to run into the house and I grabbed her. "Why don't you give Daddy a hug and kiss goodbye and then you can go inside?"
"Okay!" She quickly hugged and kissed Joe. "I love you, Daddy."
"I love you, too," he murmured into her hair. "You better go get those cookies while they are still warm."
"Yay!" And off she went.
We both stood up and faced each other. Joe gave me a sheepish grin while I crossed my arms.
"So? A puppy? Really, Joe. You just had to get her a puppy."
His eyes narrowed. "Well, since your fiancé has made it clear that he didn't want a dog, I thought I would get her one. And why not? She's my daughter and she wanted a puppy. I could get a dog whether Dickie bought her twenty puppies."
"I wanted to get her a puppy, Joe. I did! I've been promising her a puppy for over a year."
"And how would you be doing that when your new husband forbids it?"
"Forbids? He doesn't control me, Joe."
He huffed. "Okay. It doesn't matter. I have Bob now, and I'm not taking him from her."
I rolled my eyes. "That's a stupid name," I grumbled.
"Well, she wanted it."
I frowned. "It's your job to keep her from doing stupid things like that, Joe. You should have convinced her to name him something else."
He smirked. "I like it."
I groaned in frustration. "How can you even have a dog? You live in a little apartment."
"I've been calling you for over a week," he said with a shake of his head. "I thought maybe you would actually return one of my calls since you have a cell phone."
"I've been busy working on the wedding. And Mom has called you. Everything worked out well with you picking her up, didn't it?"
He snorted. "That's not the point, Stephanie. Are you even sleeping over here anymore?"
"Of course I am. Mostly."
"You know - never mind. I don't care where you sleep. But I do care that you aren't returning my calls."
"Fine. I will call you back."
He gave me a hard stare for a moment, reading me to see if I was lying. I was, and he knew it. He smiled suddenly, looking like a model with his white teeth flashing against his olive skin. Ugh. Why did have to be so freakin' attractive?
"I moved… by the way."
I blinked at him. "Moved? Where? You had Sophia somewhere I couldn't find her?"
"Your mother knows exactly where. And I would have told you if you had talked to me. I moved into a house."
I gaped at him. "How can you afford a house?"
"It's my Aunt Rose's house. She gave it to me."
"What?" I gasped. "Why would she give you her house?"
"She's my grandmother's sister. Grandma convinced her that I could use this house more than her son, since he apparently, according to one of her visions, will be spending more time in prison than he ever would in the house. So Aunt Rose agreed that if I put her up in an apartment, then I could have the house. She pays her own utilities, but I pay her rent. She signed it over to me two days ago."
I sat down on one of the porch chairs. "I can't believe she did that for you."
"My family knows that I need more space now that I have Sophia. They wanted to help."
"Yeah, but what about her son?"
"He's in prison now. He's supposed to get out next year. I'm sure he'll be mad, but Aunt Rose is pretty set on me and Sophia having the house. I was already looking at two-bedroom apartments, so how could I refuse this?" He sat across from me, on the porch rail.
"But you already made a space for her?" I whined, hating myself for sounding like the idiot I had become.
"A tiny office den without a door? That's not enough for her. Why are you upset about this, Stephanie? You should be thrilled that I have a real home for her."
"I just … You … you got her her first dog. You got her her first home. What am I going to do? You're doing all these things with her that I was supposed to do!"
"You can't even give me this? I lost four years with her. Four years. And I'm not blaming you, Stephanie. I know and understand why you didn't tell me. But what if you lost your memories of those first four years? Wouldn't that kill you? I don't know how it felt to cradle her in my arms when she was born. I don't know what she looked like when she walked for the first time. I don't know what she sounded like when she was learning to speak. I never got to hear her call me Dada. I get to have this. Deal with it. You have got to get over this fear that I am replacing you. I can never replace you."
"But …"
"But nothing. You are her mother. Don't you understand what that means?" He sighed.
"Yeah, I do. I'm not close to my mom at all. And I live with her!"
"Who was with you when you gave birth?"
I glared at him. "My mother."
"And no one else."
"So?"
"When it came down to it, you chose her. Because that is a bond that is almost impossible to break - even with a clash of personalities." He smiled at me, trying to diffuse the tension. "Steph, you will always be the most important person to her. I'm the one who has to share her. So I get to have this."
"You act like this is a competition. It's not, Joe." Sadly, this conversation was making realize how right my mother was. Both Joe and Dickie were expressing a rivalry.
"You sure about that?"
"Of course. You're her father. She knows what that means."
He shook his head. "Oh, right. She knows that I 'put her in you'. She also knows that you are marrying him. She will be living with him, Stephanie. I will be the man she sees on the weekends. I will be the one who is the part-time daddy." He stood up and shook his head. "DD will be the one that holds her at night when she's scared, that will help you tuck her in, that will clean up her scraped knees. I get the luxury of watching her from the sidelines for the rest of my life."
"I just wanted to get her a dog," I pouted.
"Damnit, Stephanie. Are you even listening to me?"
"Of course I'm listening to you! Do you know how guilty I feel about this? I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry you feel like you are missing out, but you're not. She understands that you are important. She loves you, Joe. She talks about you all the time. She tells me all the time how much she loves you. She doesn't even tell Dickie that. So even though she may not understand what exactly makes you her real father, she understands you."
He looked down. "She loves him too. She told me this morning."
"You asked her? Geesh! Don't lecture me on being insecure."
"I didn't ask her," he replied coldly. "She was talking about her family. And how much she loves all of you."
"Listen, maybe we should just discuss these things before we make any big decisions."
"Fine."
"Fine."
He groaned in frustration. "I don't want to be fighting about this. I'm not angry with you. I'm angry at myself."
"For what?"
"If I had been here – no, let me finish – if I had been here from the beginning …" He ran his hands through his hair before dropping his arms and giving me a serious look. "It's my fault. I hate what happened between us." He stood up and grabbed my hand. "You know I will never regret Sophia. That's not what I mean. I will always regret that I pushed you away. That I let my fears keep me from doing what I should have done."
I shook my head. "We were so young, Joe."
"But I knew better. I could have spent those last couple of weeks with you. I could have been home to see her being born. You would have sent me pictures of everything. I would have been part of her life. Part of your life."
My bad attitude was quickly slipping away as I looked into his eyes. I could see how much I had hurt him by keeping her away. And even though he was blaming himself, I took no pleasure from it. I knew who was really guilty in this situation.
He took my other hand into his. "We wouldn't be fighting about me getting her a dog. Because we would be getting her a dog."
I stepped back from him quickly. "Joe, I … I am marrying Dickie."
"I know. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." He smiled tightly. "I need to go. I'm on duty tonight." He quickly left the porch and jogged out to his car.
I watched him pull away, wondering when I would stop feeling like I was losing him. He wasn't mine to lose.
That night Sophia told me all about her new home at Joe's house. I tried to keep my face neutral every time she called it her home. Mom gave me an "I told you so" look and then proceeded to tell me where the house was. It wasn't that far, still in the Burg. I frowned at my dinner. I had never wanted to stay in the Burg, and now Joe would be tied down to the neighborhood, and Sophia right along with him. I couldn't figure out why it would bother me. I had a great childhood. Everyone I knew and cared about lived in or close to the Burg. Well, except Val.
Oh, and Dickie. Once we moved in with him, we would live further away than all my friends and family. Maybe that was what was bothering me? I had no idea. That entire conversation with Joe had my mind spinning. The only thing I knew for sure was that his birthday gift was not going to be that stupid mug. I had something much better in mind, and much more what he would want.
After that whole discussion, or what I liked to think of as the dogfight, things were still a little tense between Joe and me. I had stopped screening calls from him, but he also still only called me when he had to. He still mostly communicated with my mother about coordinating his time with Sophia. It bothered me, but I wasn't about to start another fight with him. And what would it achieve anyway? My wedding was fast approaching, and I needed to maintain some clear boundaries with Joe.
Dickie seemed to be in a much more pleasant mood now that we were trying to get pregnant. And even though I explained to him about the best time to get pregnant, he was determined to practice frequently. Not that I minded that too much, but it was a lot more sex than we usually had.
Dickie was so sweet when he talked about our future child. He would talk about all the things Sophia would get to do as a big sister. Honestly, if he hadn't been so enthusiastic, I probably would have asked him if we could wait until after our honeymoon. The truth was that I wasn't still completely on board with starting before we were married. Dickie was not very religious so I knew he would never understand my reasoning. He hadn't experienced the shame I had already lived being an unwed mother in the church.
On the 20th of March I got my period, like clockwork, and I felt a huge weight lifted from my shoulders. The one in February hadn't really counted in my mind since I had been on the pill and we had only just started trying. So this was the first time, realistically, I could have missed.
"Dickie, I … um … I started." I crossed my arms and watched him tentatively as he ate his breakfast in the kitchen.
He sat his spoon down and leaned back. I wasn't sure how he would take it. I had thought that underneath his positive attitude he would feel like he had to prove he could get me pregnant just as easily as Joe had. Then he opened his arms up for me to come to him.
I quickly threw myself in his arms, afraid he would see my relief.
"Stephanie," he murmured into my hair. He pulled back to see me and then kissed my forehead. "It's fine. It will happen when it's supposed to, right?"
"Yeah."
"Besides, this just means we get to keep trying." He flashed me a sweet grin. "And isn't that the fun part anyway?"
I relaxed into his embrace. "I suppose," I teased.
"Do you need a reminder?"
"Uh … no. On my period now." I made a face. "Dickie, you really are a sex fiend. One mention of it, and you forget the whole point of this conversation."
"I can't help it, Steph. I can't get enough of you." He kissed me sweetly on the lips. "And I don't mind either."
I gave him a funny look, not getting what he was saying until he wiggled his brows. "Ugh. My point exactly. Get dressed for work. I need to go home."
I turned out of his arms and quickly made my way out of the kitchen.
Sophia didn't take Joe's gift with them when he picked her up two days before his birthday, leaving it to me to make sure he got it on his actual birthday. I was pretty sure she left it on purpose since she thought he shouldn't get it early. She's so picky about those things. But I wasn't complaining since I was almost as excited as Sophia to give Joe his gift. Not only because I had spent extra time on making it special, but it also gave me a good excuse to finally go inside his new house. I had almost made it in the first time I took her over there, but then Dickie had called me. It wasn't worth explaining it to Dickie so I just turned at the front door and left. But I was smart enough to tell Dickie that I would be taking Joe his gift since it was too big for Sophia to carry. Also, I worked into the conversation that I wanted to check out Joe's house to make sure Sophia was safe in there. Dickie raised his brows at me, but he smiled and told me he trusted me.
"Happy birthday, Daddy!" Sophia jumped up and down on the front step as Joe stood in the doorway, chuckling at her enthusiasm. "Where's Bob?"
A little brown puppy came running from within the house, barking and jumping up at Sophia. She fell to her knees and hugged and kissed him. I tried not to automatically hate the little thing.
"Mommy, isn't he cute?" She looked up at me while Bob licked at her face.
"He's great." I handed Joe the large box I was carrying.
"This looks like a great gift. Thanks, princess." Joe grinned at her before turning back to me. "Are you sure you don't want to join us for dinner?" he asked me, not quite sounding sure of that request.
"No, that's fine." I gave him a small smile. "But I will stay and watch you open your present." I shrugged, trying to act nonchalant. "And maybe see her room?"
"Of course." He turned away from me and led us into the living room. Sitting on the couch with the box on the table, he turned to Sophia and lifted his brows. "Did you help wrap this?"
"Yep! Isn't it pretty?" She let Bob down and he jumped up on the couch next to Joe, sniffing at the box.
"Not as pretty as you," Joe replied with a quick kiss to her nose.
"Open it, Daddy!"
"Alright."
I tried to subtly take in the space. It looked like Joe had literally moved his stuff into the house and that was that. There were still pieces of furniture that must have belonged to his Aunt Rose. I didn't recognize them from his apartment. The dining room looked like it had been frozen in time from the '70's. I didn't see Joe's small table and wondered if he had traded with his aunt. I could just barely see into the kitchen and it also looked quite dated. The walls looked like they needed a new coat of paint, and the floors looked like they needed new carpet. I stood to the side of the couch and watched Joe pull out the mug of candy, glance at Bob and then put it back in the box. Then he removed the baby album I spent hours copying from mine.
"Is this her baby book?"
"It's one of her baby books. A copy of mine. Even the pictures are the same, but the actual book is a little different. I couldn't find the exact same one anymore."
"Thank you," he said earnestly.
"There's more," I added happily.
"What are these?" he asked, holding up the videotapes.
"Well, I did label them. Didn't I?" I leaned over to look at them.
"They're me, Daddy! They're my movies!"
"It's not much," I added. "We broke the camcorder last year so they only go up through then. And I wasn't that good at taking a ton of video. But at least you can see some of those things you missed."
Suddenly Joe stood up and crossed over to me. I immediately stepped back, still wary of getting too close to him. He frowned, holding the back of his neck.
"Thank you," he said simply. "Are these your copies?"
"No, Mary Lou's dad can copy videos. So I had him make these for you. I actually had him make me ones too since they're all condensed into those two tapes."
He smiled brightly before turning back to Sophia, who was happily flipping through her baby book. "Princess, you wanna watch your movies with me today?"
"Uh-huh. I'm so cute, Daddy. You're gonna just die when you see me." She gave him a serious look before turning back to me. "You gonna stay, Mommy?"
"No, bug. I gotta go. You have fun with Daddy today and be extra good since it's his birthday."
She gave me a look like I was an idiot.
"Love you," I sang.
"You too, Mommy!" She jumped up and hugged me before going back to the baby book.
Joe shared an amused look with me. "Did you want to see her room?" he asked with a smirk.
"Oh yes!" I answered slightly more enthusiastically than I intended.
I followed him up the stairs and turned to the left. I noticed there were several doors, the only one open led to a bathroom.
"There's three bedrooms."
"What?"
"My room is at the other end." He gestured behind me. "This is another bedroom and that's obviously the bathroom."
"Oh."
"Did you want to look?"
"No."
He rolled his eyes before opening the door into Sophia's room. It was still covered in old wallpaper, but held her little bed and things that Joe had bought her before.
"There's still a lot of work to do. Aunt Rose hadn't really updated anything in like thirty years."
"Yeah, I noticed. You keeping this wallpaper?"
"No. It's just a lot of work. So I plan on tackling it when I have vacation."
I looked once more around her room. "She just loves being with you. I doubt she has even noticed the paper."
"Oh yes she has. She already told me that we will be painting it lavender."
I shook my head. "Have fun with that. Well, I need to get going."
After walking me to the front door, he gently touched my arm as I crossed the threshold, and I tried not to jump.
"Thank you, Stephanie. This is a great gift."
"You already thanked me. And don't let her eat all the candy in the mug."
He smiled, nodding. Then he suddenly stepped closer, a serious look on his face. "She's changed me."
"Yeah. Me too," I replied easily.
"No, I mean. Really changed me." He scrunched up his face. "I'm not saying that motherhood hasn't changed you, Steph. But you were so young, you have grown into being a mother. Or grown into adulthood as a mother." He ran his hand through his hair. "This isn't coming out right."
"It's fine. Go on."
"I came back from the Navy, ready to start this whole new life. Ready to be the first Morelli on the other side of the law. But the truth is … underneath all that, I still wanted to be that guy I was before I left. That guy who could have a different girl each week, who could party hard whenever he wanted. I think that I wanted it all. I wanted to be respected, but I wanted to have fun."
"And Sophia's not fun?" I teased.
"No! No, that's not what I mean. I wanted … I guess I wanted to still be selfish. I don't know if that's exactly right. But I was ready to prove myself to the Burg, to my brothers. But I also felt like I had earned the freedom to enjoy myself."
"I get it, Joe."
"Do you? Everything I want now is to prove myself to her. To be the father she can count on. To show her that my love for her is greater than any temporary thrill I might want to chase. She's the most important thing I have ever done. And I can't forget it. Not that I want to. But I can't help it. I thought the Navy made me a man, but I don't think I really grew up until that night I met her."
"You're doing it – being a great father. I don't know how things would have been if you knew her from the beginning. But if you going away first let you become the father that you are now, I'm … well, I regret my decision just a little bit less."
"I'm not trying –"
"I know." I gave him a reassuring smile. "I will always regret the way I handled things, but I will never regret you being her father."
.
Things started to return to normal between Joe and me after his birthday. Well, as normal as it would ever be at that point. I missed our banter but it was something I would have to give up if I wanted to keep the peace between all three of us: Joe, Me, and Dickie. I was so stressed about the wedding. Dickie and I were constantly bickering about it. Mostly due to his mother wanting to tell me that all my ideas were wrong. Dickie wasn't even close to his parents, but he seemed to always take their side. He was also working long nights, more often than he had been. If I even dared to mention it, he would remind me of the two week honeymoon he was planning.
I didn't have any clue where we were going, and I didn't really care. All I could think about was being away from my baby for that long. For one second, it sounded pretty awesome, but then I realized we would probably be far away and I couldn't just run over and see her for a minute in the middle of our honeymoon. My mom didn't understand, probably because she's hasn't even had an empty nest yet. I could imagine that in twenty years I would be ready to separate from Sophia.
Anyway, it was getting closer to the wedding and I was both dreading it and looking forward to the craziness ending. Not exactly how I had dreamed I would be as a bride, but I never dreamed I would have a child already either. And in case I had another one on the way, I was pushing the bachelorette party to the end of April. No use abstaining from the fun if I was still waiting for my period.
Joe's Aunt Rose had met Sophia briefly at her big "homecoming" party that Angie threw. But since she had pretty much given him the house, she expected to see the child who had motivated her generous gift. I couldn't even remember her from that afternoon, being so overwhelmed with all the Morellis. I did know that Joe wanted me to go with them. He reasoned that I could help with conversation since he didn't really know what to talk about with his great aunt. As if I didn't have enough to do. But I also wanted a break from thinking about the wedding. I agreed to go if Joe would agree to give me a spare key to his house.
"Why would I give you a key?" he asked with a raised brow.
"In case of an emergency," I answered quickly. "Obviously."
He crossed his arms. "What kind of an emergency?"
"What if you fell in the shower and Sophia was there? What if you got really sick and I needed to come get her? You wouldn't want to get out of bed to just let her out, would you? You also couldn't let her answer the door without you being there. I think it makes perfect sense."
He studied me for a moment. "And in these situations, my mother can't help?"
"Joe! Your mother has a life outside of serving your needs." I rolled my eyes for added effect.
This was turning into a harder sell than I thought. I just wanted to be able to snoop a little bit. Only if something happened that required my attention. Only in case of an emergency, just a different kind of emergency. One that Joe did not need to know about.
"Promise you will not abuse this, Stephanie. I will know if you've been snooping in my house." He leveled his eyes at me before smiling. "I can take this back whenever I want."
"Of course." I smiled and held out my palm.
"I don't have one on me," he said amusedly. "I'll bring it on Friday."
"Friday?"
"Friday, the day we are spending at my Aunt Rose's. Why I am agreeing to giving you a key." He shook his head.
"Oh! Yes, of course. I'll get it Friday." And then make a couple extra copies for when he asks for the key back.
.
Thursday was the longest day. I was supposed to pick up my dress on my lunch break, but Anna called in sick so we were short on staff. After work, I was busy helping my mother with table decorations for the reception. Pretty much every hour of the next few weeks were planned out, and one missed appointment was going to throw everything off. Dickie had come over to the house and actually helped with the decorations, so I had spent the night with him and thoroughly showed him all my appreciation. I was banking on his good mood the next day to ask a favor.
"Dickie, if you promise to not look in the bag, will you please pick up my wedding dress tomorrow afternoon?" I flashed him a bright smile.
"Why can't you get it?"
"Jo–" I stopped myself just in time. Starting a sentence with Joe was not a great choice. "Sophia's great Aunt Rose wants her to come visit her, remember? And she wants to meet me too."
"Isn't this the one who gave him that house?" Dickie had already expressed how he would never settle for such a small home.
"Yes."
"Will Joe be there?" he asked with a smug smile.
"I don't know. Probably. I have never met her so I honestly would prefer him be there to introduce us."
"I see."
"Come on, Dickie. You know you can trust me – and I know what you think about Joe, but I promise that he has been completely respecting the boundaries I have established."
"I do trust you, Stephanie. It's fine. Just write down the address of the boutique and I'll get your dress."
"That's it?"
"Of course that's it." He shook his head at me. "Are you trying to start another fight?"
"I don't start anything."
"Yes, you do. Don't deny it. You're the one who instigates all our arguments."
"What?"
"Please, let's just leave it. I will get your dress and then we can go out to dinner with Sophia tomorrow night."
I rolled my eyes at him. I wanted to argue but then that would just prove him right. Damn.
"Alright?" he asked with a smirk.
"Yes, and thank you."
.
Joe insisted on driving us to his Aunt Rose's apartment, but I wanted to be able to leave with Sophia as soon as possible. Unfortunately, Sophie caught wind of his plan and wouldn't stop pestering me about us going "as a family." How could I say no to that?
We pulled into a parking lot behind a big block of a building. Clearly, it had been built with little to no attention to architecture. It looked like a sad office building except for the fire escapes across the back.
Before we got out of the car, Joe turned back to Sophia. "Princess, Aunt Rose is very old. She's really my great aunt. That means that she is my grandma's sister. Do you understand?"
She gave him a blank look.
"Bella's sister," he tried again.
"Okay, Daddy."
He looked at me and smiled. "She also is a little bit hard of hearing. She might ask you to repeat things if you don't talk slowly and a little bit loudly."
"Do I talk liiiiiiike thiiiiiiiiis?" she said with a giggle.
"Yeah, something like that." He chuckled before turning back around.
We entered the building and Joe guided us over to an elevator. Sophia hopped up and down between us, using both our hands for leverage to occasionally swing forward and back.
The elevator opened to reveal a woman who looked to be in her eighties.
"Women's lingerie on floor three," she said with a smile.
Sophia pulled on my arm so I could lean down to her. "What's lawn jury?" she whispered.
"Hi, Mrs. Bestler," Joe greeted the woman with his most charming smile. "We are going to see my Aunt Rose. Do you remember meeting me the other day?"
Mrs. Bestler looked Joe up and down, causing him to blush. "Floor three, handsome." She winked at him.
"Daddy, that's where we can get something for the lawn!"
Once we arrived on the third floor, Joe quickly explained to Sophia that we were not in a store. I noticed he smoothly avoided explaining the word lingerie. He was getting better at this stuff. We quickly made our way to the end of the hallway and waited for several minutes as Joe knocked loudly on the door.
"Aunt Rose," Joe called in a booming voice just as the door opened, revealing a kinder looking version of his grandmother.
The small woman practically jumped straight up in the air. "Joseph Anthony Morelli! What are you doing? Are you trying to scare an old woman to death?" She braced herself against the doorframe with a hand over her heart.
Sophia giggled and pointed at her dad. "Joseph Anthony Morelli! You're in trouble, Daddy."
"Are you okay, Rosie?" a man asked.
We all turned to the man standing in the doorway behind us. He was wearing a faded green bathrobe and black socks pulled up to his knees. His silver hair reminded me of those posters of Einstein. I looked past him into the small apartment and saw "Matlock" playing on his cranked up TV. Not sure how he could have heard even Joe's loud greeting unless he was already watching us from his door.
"I'm fine, ….." She gave him a flirty smile. "It's my sister's family come to visit." She gestured to us, as if there were any confusion on who she could be talking about. "Don't worry, we're still on for Bingo tonight!"
He wriggled his caterpillar brows and gave her a quick nod. I hoped Bingo wasn't old-people talk for sex. Yuck.
Rose turned back to us. "I got my ears checked last week. Gigi's son is a doctor and he got me these fancy new hearing aids. It's perfect, because I can turn them off when I don't want to listen." She gestured behind her. "Come in!"
Once we made it inside, it was like looking at the missing puzzle pieces from Joe's house.
Rose immediately offered some cookies and tang which she had placed on the coffee table. Sophia immediately dug in after Joe told her she could have two cookies. I wanted to eat the rest, but I thought I'd see if Joe took any. He didn't.
I was just starting to sigh in disappointment about the cookies when Joe ended the silence.
"Grandma says you're really happy here, Aunt Rose. I'm so glad this has worked out. I can't tell you how much it means to have a real home for Sophia."
"Bella knew this was the place for me. She's always right, you know?" She smiled at both of us and then turned straight towards me. "Have some cookies, Stephanie."
"Thank you." Don't need to be told twice about sweets.
"I was thinking of getting some new furniture," Joe said cautiously, "and wanted to know if you were wanting me to hold on to any of the pieces you left."
"Joseph, I have everything I need. You go ahead and get that house ready for your family."
He smiled broadly at that. "Thank you."
"Your grandmother says that you are doing really well at your job. Someday you will make detective, she says." She winked at him and then looked to me again. "Bella tells me you're getting married?" Rose asked sweetly.
"Yes, next month," I answered mid-chew of a delicious sugar cookie.
"Oh, that's so nice. This little sweetie needs to have her parents together." She nodded with a big smile while Joe and I quickly glanced at each other and then to Sophia. I tried to swallow the cookie quickly to interrupt her, but she continued as I reached for the tang. "Sophia, aren't you happy that I gave you that nice big house so you and your mommy can be there with your daddy?"
"Sophie, Aunt Rose is a little confused," Joe inserted quickly.
The wheels were turning quickly in my daughter's mind though, and she was more interested in Rose's version of things. "Mommy gets to stay over too? She never stays at daddy's house anymore. DD doesn't like it."
Joe swung his head over to me, a frown etched across his face.
"Joseph, why would she think you don't want Stephanie to move in?" Rose reprimanded.
"I'm not moving in!" I blurted out, completely ignoring the glare Joe was still throwing me. "I'm marrying someone else, Rose. His name is Dickie, and Sophia calls him DD." I nodded and smiled as I spoke, hoping she would actually pick up on this being a good thing. "These cookies are amazing. Could you give me the recipe?"
She sat back in her seat with arms crossed, completely ignoring my question. "Bella insisted you would be marrying Joseph," she countered. "Why would she tell me that?"
Joe sighed. "Grandma can get confused, Aunt Rose. Or maybe you misheard her –"
"Will I still get two daddies?" Sophia asked me, a look of concern on her little face. "I want us to live with Daddy."
"We aren't living with …" I smiled tightly. "Sophie, we will talk about this in the car." I looked back over at Rose who was shaking her head in disapproval.
"That house is for your family, Joseph."
"And I can never thank you enough, Aunt Rose."
"Bella told me you would be getting married. She saw it."
I didn't like where this was going one bit, and I could tell this conversation was confusing my little girl a lot. "Bug, let's play seashells, okay?"
"No," she whined and then pulled away from me.
"Sophia Grace," I softy commanded, but it only earned me an angry glare from her. Then she ran to Joe.
Joe smiled at her and then looked up to his aunt, who had pressed her lips into a tight line.
"Your grandmother knew about Sophia. She knows about these things, Joseph. She told me that this house would give you and Stephanie a good start for your life together."
"Well, I will probably get married some day, Aunt Rose. Just not to Stephanie." He glanced over at me again, frown back in place. "The house will be put to good use. Sophia didn't even have a real room at my apartment."
Rose huffed in annoyance. "You should be with the mother of your child."
"I plan on having more children some day. I promise I'll be married before that happens, okay?"
"No!" Sophia screamed. "You're my daddy!" The tears immediately started and Joe's face fell.
"Princess, I will always be your daddy, even if some day you get to be a big sister. Won't that be fun, to be a big sister?"
This was not working at all, and I made a mental note to not use this tactic when it was my turn to tell her about new siblings. Something I would possibly be doing sooner than later.
"See?" Rose threw in. "She needs –"
"I know what my daughter needs," Joe interrupted.
Unfortunately, Sophia was ready to prove him wrong when she wiggled away from him and ran back to me. She threw herself in my arms and I immediately scooped her up.
"Fix this," I said before taking her to the bathroom to wash her face and calm her down.
I'm not sure what Joe said to her, but Rose seemed strangely appeased when Sophia and I returned from the restroom. She kissed Sophia on both cheeks, earning giggles and a "shyly" spoken thank you from our little actress. I received another round of kisses as well.
Once we were back at the house, Joe sent Sophie in ahead of us.
"I'm sorry about that," he said with a tight smile.
"Does Bella actually see the future?" I asked him as I watched Sophie enter the house, waving back at us happily.
"God, I don't know." He laughed softly. "She's right about just enough things to keep us all guessing."
I quickly turned back to him. "Do you believe her? Do you believe that … that we are going to be together?"
His eyes widened briefly. I could tell he was surprised by my directness. Truthfully, I was surprised as well. So not like me to ask a serious question without making a joke out of it.
"Joe, I don't want you to –"
"Stephanie, I have no expectations of there being anything between us. Okay? I admit that it makes me sad to see Sophia growing up without her parents together."
"You've been listening to your mother too much. Sophia's fine."
"I know she is fine. I'm trying to be honest with you here, okay?"
"Go on."
"I'm …" he stopped and looked away from me. After a deep breath and a sigh, he continued without looking back to me. "I'm happy if you're happy, Steph. I'm glad that we can be friends. Someday I hope to find someone to love too."
I reached over and touched his arm. This was not exactly how I thought today was going to end. My heart was beating quickly with Joe's admission. It wasn't like when he had spit at me through the phone his not ever having loved me, but it still stung a little. But beneath any selfish thoughts I had, there was one thing I felt the most.
I waited for him to look at me. "I just want you to be happy too, Joe."
He gave me a subtle nod, and then I quickly got out of the car.
.
.
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We are almost to the part everyone is waiting for. The wedding! (Just kidding)
Thanks for reading. I seriously could use some feedback if you are so inclined.
