A/N:So, been stupid busy the last few weeks. Thanks for your patience. I hope you can give Steph the same patience in this chapter.
Thanks as always for the reviews- it's what keeps me going!
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A Change In Me
Chapter Twenty-One
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I knew I had treated Joe badly, using him and manipulating him. And the things I had said made me cringe each time I replayed that morning in my mind. But Joe seemed to take it in stride. He acted completely normal around me and Sophia. He was friendly and never gave me any signs that he was still upset. I started to think that maybe he realized that it was for the best that we not go down that road. After all, our relationship status would directly affect Sophia. And I was not willing to trust Joe on that level again. What kind of relationship would that leave us with anyway? Not a good one.
Much to my dismay, Mary Lou had hooked up with Lenny that night at the club. In every sense of the word. And I would be lying to say I wasn't a little pissed that we only got one night out as singles. But I would be a terrible friend if I weren't also happy for her. That girl had earned a great night of sex with the man she loved. And apparently she needed to share every dirty detail with me.
"Come over right this second!" Mary Lou squealed into the phone.
"I don't want to hear about Lenny's dick ever again, Mare."
"Whatever. I listened to you, you have to listen to me now that I finally have something more exciting to talk about than –"
"First of all, you force me to tell you about my sex life. And second of all, you have been doing everything possible except actual sex for years with Lenny. I have heard enough."
"You haven't heard what I have to tell you today though. And I'm pulling the best friend card. You HAVE to come over. Now."
I looked around the empty living room, hoping that someone would walk in and tell me I needed to do something. Mom and Sophia were out shopping and Dad was with his lodge friends. Chances were pretty slim that Grandma or Grandpa would show up.
"Stephanie! Please. I promise it has nothing to do with sex."
"Fine. I will be over in a few." I hung up quickly and leaned my head back against the couch.
I was happy for Mary Lou. But I was restless. I wanted something new. And a part of me still resented her jumping right back into Lenny's arms the moment he showed up. I had hoped that maybe we could do more things together. I wanted to be wild, and Mary Lou was the only person I knew that I could do that with.
Ten minutes later and I was walking up to the Molnar's front door, Lenny passing me on the way out. It felt vaguely familiar until Mare held her left hand out to greet me, and I saw the diamond flash in the light. Suddenly, I remembered the night I told Mary Lou about my own engagement – on that very same front porch. I plastered a smile on my face and hoped I could keep the tears from falling. Thankfully, Mary Lou is a talker and pretty much rambled all the way through the house as we headed to her bedroom.
"So we were thinking this Fall. I mean, why wait, you know? Are you gonna be okay with that?"
"Uh … yeah. It's not like you were going to use my … wedding date."
"Oh God, no! Could you imagine? I would never do that. Plus, Lenny said we were back to abstaining until the wedding."
"I don't know if I should be impressed or concerned about that."
She shook her head. "Well, now that I know what I'm waiting for," she paused and fanned herself. "Oh, Steph! He was so —"
"Mare. No. I'm just not up to hearing about this kind of stuff. I'm so happy for you, but can you just spare me the details?"
"Of course." She smiled, but I could see that it didn't reach her eyes.
That was the most selfish thing I had said in … well since my night with Joe. I was turning into a terrible person. I blamed Dickie. Completely. Because it just plain sucked that while I was dealing with the end of my relationship, my best friend was celebrating hers. This should have been the best time for both of us. Both getting married in the same year. But when I thought about the last few months, there weren't a lot of exciting moments in planning my wedding. That was probably one of many red flags I had ignored. I think I had always been more in love with the idea of having it all than I was with the actual life I was building. Still didn't excuse me for raining on Mary Lou's engagement parade.
Thankfully, Mary Lou was a way better friend than me. She told me that although I would still be expected to do my maid-of-honor duties, she would not shove her nearly-wedded bliss down my throat over the next few months.
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oOo
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The next few weeks seemed to drag by as each day was stretching longer and longer into summer. I was pretty much on auto-pilot. My mom, Joe, and Mrs. Morelli had come up with a fairly active schedule for Sophia to help keep her busy and to give me some space. I put on a good face for the family. I think Mom really did think I was doing fine. She never mentioned the pregnancy scare – which was how I was choosing to think of it. I only heard her once mention the baby, which she whispered like it was cancer or something. Val was the only one that got the truth about my chaotic emotions from me in one of her sisterly calls. Of course, what could she really do from California? Ugly emotions like anger scared her so I knew she wouldn't want to get any closer to my mess than necessary.
And that's what I was: angry. So angry I could spit fire at almost any moment. Sophia was the only person that I didn't want to regularly scream at, and even so, I had my moments with her too. I had been working so hard to do the right thing and be a good person. And for what? Why was I trying so hard if it didn't matter? That was the question that haunted me all the time.
Sometimes, I would let myself dream about a different life. One where I would have gone off to college and actually found some kind of exciting career. Found someone my age who also wanted more out of life than the Burg. I would never regret Sophia, but I couldn't say I was happy that I had gotten pregnant at seventeen. Father O'Riley was right that she was not a mistake, but what I did with Joe at the Tasty Pastry definitely was. And now I had pretty much made another similar mistake with him. If that wasn't proof of how bad we were for each other, then what was? I wished I could have had Sophia later, with someone else. That was so ridiculous I would actually get angry at myself for even thinking it.
So to avoid dealing with anything, I started working extra shifts whenever something opened up. It did help. Anything was better than being stuck in my parents' house.
It was on one of these extra shifts that things took an unexpected turn. I had just clocked in when I turned the corner and ran into Anna and her son. It had been a while since I had seen him. He was in college now, living the life I never was going to have. Jack was always nice to me. We had a strange sort of acquaintance. I was friends with his mother, even though we were much much closer in age.
"Hey, Steph," Jack said softly. "Sorry to hear about your engagement."
"Jack!" Anna reprimanded him.
"It's fine, Anna. I'm sorry too. But it's better to break an engagement than go through a divorce."
"Still."
"Mom, chill out." He flashed me a wicked grin. "So you wanna go out this weekend?"
"What?" I never ever thought Jack was into me.
"Oh shit, no. Not a date. Like, hang out with my friends. You could use some fun. And I turned twenty-one last month so we can actually go somewhere cool."
Anna gave me a half smile.
"You know what? I think that's exactly what I need." After all, Mary Lou was completely absorbed in her wedding. And that was the last thing I wanted to think about.
"Great!" He fished a phone out of his pocket and handed it to me. "Put your number in and I will call you."
"Okay."
I was actually looking forward to getting out. The last few times I had been out without Sophia were to look at wedding things with Mary Lou. I almost would have rather been having dinner with Bella and Mrs. Morelli. Joe still was not talking to me like we used to, and honestly I was relieved. He was too serious. He was so grown up, and I was tired of pretending that I was ready to be an adult. I was only twenty-two. Besides, Sophia had an entire network of people in her family now. I wanted to take advantage of that and have a little more time for me.
Jack called Thursday night at 11:30, waking me and Sophia up. I rubbed her belly and kissed her forehead before heading downstairs to talk with him. He said he would pick me up the next night so I wouldn't have to worry about driving. His friend Tom was taking his turn at being the designated driver. Fine by me. Mom already knew I was going out and Mrs. Morelli was picking Sophia up Saturday morning to keep until Joe could take her. I was in the free and clear.
Jack and Tom showed up at 9:00 Friday night. It only made me feel more like a loser that I was thinking how late that was to start our night. Any other girl my age wouldn't have thought twice about that.
"We need to pick up Andy and then we figured we would grab dinner," Jack explained as we drove away. I had eaten dinner at 6 of course, but I could always eat again.
Andy lived in a house off campus that Jack explained was where he was going to live the next year. He had finally convinced his mom that living on campus was a waste of money. I smiled and nodded since I really had no idea how expensive it was to live in a dorm. Tom was pretty cool. He was quiet, but he was friendly.
Andy came running out of the house, pulling his t-shirt on as he ran. I caught a glimpse of tan abs and a smooth chest. I quickly turned back to look out the other window.
"Come on, asshole! I'm starving. What were you doing in there? Shaving again?" Jack yelled through the open window, leaning across Tom who was driving.
Tom laughed out loud. "He's such a girl." Then turning back to me. "No offense, Stephanie."
"None taken."
"He's a swimmer," Tom continued, "and a total douche about his body."
"Hey, fucker. Shut the hell up. If you looked like me, you'd be showing off too." Andy crashed into the back seat and threw me a sexy grin. "Now introduce me properly to the hot chick you failed to mention was joining us."
I chuckled quietly, trying not to blush. I really hadn't been around guys my age very much. They were kind of crude, but I didn't really care. "I'm Stephanie."
"Well, hello, Stephanie. I'm Andy, and I'm not a douche. Just a dude, who likes to take care of himself." He lifted his shirt and flashed me his defined abs. "But it's worth it, right?"
I busted out in laughter at that. "Yep, that's great, Andy." He didn't need to know that Joe was just as ripped and about three inches taller.
"Dude, she's a mom," supplied Jack. "Back off, okay?"
I felt my eyes go wide and my cheeks burned. Damn it. I just wanted to be young and free for one night!
Andy bumped my arm with his and gave me a sweet grin. "Then that just makes her a MILF."
"Man, you are so lame," Tom rolled his eyes at me through the rear view mirror and then pulled away. "Where would you like to eat, Steph?"
"Oh, I don't know. Anywhere you guys want."
"Rudy's!" they all shouted.
Jack turned back to me. "They have the best wings and burgers."
"Sounds good to me."
Andy kept flirting with me throughout the ride and into the restaurant. I had to admit that it was really flattering. He was very cute. Golden blond hair and bright blue eyes. He looked like a poster for Abercrombie & Fitch. Jack glared at him a few times but thankfully didn't keep reminding them that I was a mother. Not that it mattered. As soon as we were eating, Andy brought it up.
"So you have a baby? You look amazing." Andy leaned closer to me and smiled. "Even mommies need to have some fun, right?"
"You know what? You're trying way too hard to get into my pants."
Jack and Tom both snorted at that.
I gave them an appreciative grin. "But I like you, Andy. And I have a four year old, five in September. And yes, mommies definitely need to have fun."
"No fucking way! Five? Wow. Just wow. How old are you? You can't be much older than we are. I'm twenty-two."
"Me too," I answered as casually as could muster. It had been a while since I had the teen mom talk.
"Oh man, you had a baby in high school. That must have sucked," Tom said sympathetically.
"Well that's how I met Jack's mom, and now I work with her."
Tom smiled at me. "That's cool. Good for you."
Jacked rolled his eyes. "For fucks sake you two! Stop hitting on her. She just dumped her fiancé."
"Oh my God, Jack. What's with the over-sharing? I just wanted to go out and act like a twenty-two year old girl. Let loose. Go wild."
Andy wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "Just let me take care of you. You're going to have a great night."
Well, I did have a great time. We went to two bars, met up with some more of their friends, and then went to a house party. I hadn't been to a party like that since the one where I met Rick.
Andy and Tom stuck to me most of the night, which definitely allowed me to relax and drink probably more than I should have. I also became aware just how insecure and bitchy the college girls were. They practically fell over themselves trying to get the guys attention. And they made it very clear that I was encroaching on their territory with my two sidekicks.
At one point, I convinced the boys to go ahead and dance with some of the girls they knew. Jack even disappeared for a while to hook up with his on and off again girlfriend. Within moments I was accosted by two really pretty girls. I didn't understand at all why they felt threatened by me. Still, I learned during my few moments without the guys that while Andy was considered the hottest of the group, Tom could do magical things in bed. I briefly thought of my way hotter and extremely magical baby daddy. But thinking of Joe was only killing my buzz, so I decided to drink a few more.
Somehow by the end of the night, or early morning, Tom and Andy had both given me their numbers. I could tell that Tom was the type to want a real girlfriend, while Andy wanted a good time.
I stumbled into the house around four in the morning. I had just enough forethought to crash on Valerie's bed so I wouldn't wake up Sophia. I didn't even get up until almost noon, completely missing Sophia's goodbye. My mother was not pleased, reminding me immediately that I had a child. As if I could forget. Apparently, Sophia tried to wake me, but I was passed out. After a lecture from my mother on appropriate behavior the entire time I ate my lunch, I threw on a tank and shorts and headed out the door.
I drove down the street and pulled over to the curb. Scrolling through my contacts, I hesitated only a moment before hitting send. "Hey, Andy. This is Steph. Call me."
One mani and pedi later, my phone rang. "Hi …"
"I knew you'd call me," he answered with a flirty tone.
"Yeah, and I know you aren't interested in a deep and meaningful relationship."
He laughed quietly. "Well, I guess we should just have some fun then. What time are you free?"
"All night."
He cleared his throat. "What a coincidence. Me too. You remember how to get to my house?"
"Do I need to dress up or are we having fun at home tonight?"
"Shit, Stephanie. I'll take you however you want."
"Right. I can be there in twenty."
"Perfect. See you soon."
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For the next several weeks, Andy and I hung out and fooled around. I didn't actually have sex with him that first night. Tempting as he was, I wanted to have at least the appearance of some integrity. Meanwhile, Joe was being an asshole about his time with Sophia, complaining that he wanted a more structured schedule instead of just when I needed a babysitter. Then he mentioned that he had to cancel a date because of me. Then he added that he was rescheduling the date, making it clear that it was something important to him. He pointed out that he had a social life too and that he wasn't just there to take Sophia so I could go hang out with my friends. I slept with Andy two hours later. It was pretty good. He was definitely eager to please, and we had been fooling around quite a bit so he knew what I liked. But no amount of pleasure could make me forget that I was doing it because Joe had moved on.
Andy was super cool about our relationship. He knew I wanted casual, and he made it clear he wanted the same. Tom and Jack seemed more concerned about me hurting Andy after we started sleeping together. Clearly the boys had been talking. I didn't think guys like that would say more than the obligatory crude remarks about getting laid. But they informed me that I was the first girl Andy had spent so much time with. Of course, when Andy left a party with another girl, Tom swooped right in to make me "feel like I deserved". I was still slightly curious about his legendary skills in bed, but one guy in a group of friends was plenty for me. And the truth was, I was relieved that Andy had proved me right. I wasn't sure if I ever would be ready to trust someone else again.
And it wasn't like we were sleeping together all the time. We hung out with their group of friends as much as we spent time alone together. I was actually starting to feel like I had a social life for the first time in years. It was a little tricky to balance my schedule, but Mrs. Morelli was happy to help me get Sophia to and from Joe's house. And she had dropped all the not so subtle hints about us being free to be together. I kind of had a feeling Joe had made it a point that he was happily moving on. He was still nice to me, not blocking me out like before but there was zero flirting. Part of me missed the banter, but that part was easily distracted by Andy.
Mary Lou was occasionally calling me, but she promised me that I would get to decide how involved I was in her wedding. I was her maid of honor, but her cousin Sherry would be doing all the crap I didn't want to do. I still felt bad about letting her down, but every time I tried to get excited about her wedding I would start thinking about Dickie. After stupidly going along with a trip to the bridal bazaar at the convention center, I drove to his house and called him from my new phone. Thankfully, he wasn't home and I didn't leave a message. But it scared me how quickly I was willing to go running back to him. And I was always on the verge of doing it. Well, I was when I was at home or with Mary Lou. So I spent more time with the boys.
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It was a great summer. The only thing I would have changed was getting in trouble at work for being late. That was an unfortunate side effect of partying with students on their break. They never had anything to be at so they got together whenever the mood struck. It was very liberating but also not very conducive to my work schedule.
After the third time I was late, Anna pulled me aside.
"There is an opening in the ER."
"Okay? You leaving me, Anna?"
"No, I'm telling you to apply for it before you get fired."
"What! I love working in post surgery."
"Dr. Collins wants you out. And Dorothy will do whatever he says. You know he doesn't like you." She sighed heavily. "My son is being a bad influence on you. I – "
"No. Jack is great. I haven't had friends, except Mary Lou, since I got pregnant. Do you know how much that sucks?"
"Yes, I do. I remember how it was. But you came in hung-over last week. Thank God, Dr. Collins was not working. Just apply for the transfer. They are in desperate need and Dr. Collins will gladly send you downstairs."
"He is such an asshole. I can't believe he found out about …" I was still having a really hard time thinking that I had been pregnant. Even if it was only a chemical pregnancy, it made me so confused whenever I let myself go there. Which was pretty much never.
"You know how people talk. He's so uptight and narrow-minded. You know how he is."
"I guess it doesn't matter that I was getting married. I'm still damaged goods, right?" I put my hand up to stop her from telling me I was wrong. "Thanks for the heads up. I will ask for the transfer."
"Of course. I will really miss you."
"Yeah, me too."
That afternoon, I went to Dorothy, the nurse manager, and asked about switching.
"Nurse Plum, you come into work again like you did last week and you can transfer to another hospital, without references."
"Yes, I understand."
"Stephanie, I know you've been through hell this year. Don't let it ruin the rest of your life."
"Thank you. I won't."
"I think you might like the ER. It's much more fast-paced. A lot more exciting. I will let you know by the end of the week if they accept you."
As much as I liked excitement, I loved the pace and relaxed atmosphere of my job. Not that it wasn't work, but it was really one of the better departments. And now I had completely fucked that up.
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oOo
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Joe was also apparently having a great summer, according to all the Burg moms. He had been doing well at his job, earning some kind of commendation, and he had won a coveted spot on the police department baseball team summer league. They were playing the Trenton Fire Department the last weekend of August, and apparently it was a big deal. He had made it clear that he wanted Sophia there, especially since it was his weekend to have her Saturday night. Mrs. Morelli had taken Sophia to several of their games, but this was the one time I would have to bring her. Joe's brother Tony and his wife had invited Mrs. Morelli and Bella to a family get together with Angelina's family. Mom and Dad were going to a lodge luncheon, and Grandma and Grandpa also had some kind of church activity for seniors to attend. It wasn't as if I didn't want to go. I just didn't want to have to see Joe playing ball, looking all hot and sexy, and ignoring me.
Oh yeah, and I didn't want to meet his new girlfriend. Heather. That's pretty much all anyone wanted to talk about. I think I probably knew more about the "new woman in his life" than Joe did at this point.
Heather McDaniels was petite with blonde hair and green eyes. She was beautiful, sweet, and very Catholic, even if it was the Irish kind. She had moved from Missouri to the Burg to join her family in early May. She was a Burg mother's dream come true for her son. I could actually imagine Angie giving up her hopes of our reconciliation if Joe would settle down with someone like her.
Even my mother had joined Team Heather, based on the speech she was giving me the day of the game. Thankfully, Sophia was upstairs doing her hair, her latest thing when going out.
"You know, Mrs. Nowicki mentioned that Heather signed up to teach Sunday school classes at Sacred Heart."
"Wow. She sounds just amazing." I flashed my mom a smirky grin.
"I'm only telling you this, Stephanie, because I think you need to be prepared to –"
"Prepared to see Joe move on with a perfect girl that everyone in the Burg already loves even though she is not even from here?"
"No," she said calmly. "Prepared to make a decision about what exactly you want to happen between you and Joseph."
"There is no decision to make, Mom."
"I think there is. I've seen the way you look at each other." I rolled my eyes at her. "I don't know what you did to him, but –"
"What I did?"
"Stephanie, I may be your mother, but I'm not a fool. Something happened between the two of you. I have my guesses, but I don't need to know. What I do know is that Joseph wanted to be with you and then suddenly when you are out of your relationship with … that man, then suddenly Joseph decides to start dating this woman."
"Whatever, Mom. I gotta go. We're late already. Sophie!" I grabbed a cookie from the cooling rack and flounced out of the kitchen. I chose to ignore the slamming of the cabinets as I grabbed Sophie and carried her out to the car.
When we arrived at the game, I realized my plan of showing up late had only back-fired. Instead of handing Sophie over to her dad and then taking off, I now had to find the Morelli clan. And I didn't think pointing Sophie in their general direction was a good parenting decision, so I once again picked her up.
"Mommy, why can't I walk today?" Sophia asked with a giggle.
"We're in a hurry, bug. You don't want to miss Daddy play, do you?"
"But Daddy always buys me a hot dog at the beginning of the game."
"Well, maybe your Uncle Paul will get you one soon, okay?"
"Uncle Paul always says no. He says that Aunt Jenny brings food from home so go bother her if you want something to eat. He says that only spoiled brats get candy and hot dogs."
I stopped walking and took a deep breath. And for the millionth time thanked God that Joe was not like his brothers.
"Mommy, don't be mad. Daddy told me I'm not a spoiled brat. He told me 'cause I don't have a mommy at the game with snacks, I get to have a hot dog."
And also feeling a tiny bit less guilty about my using Joe for sex.
I carried Sophia over to the far side of the stands, crossing behind them to avoid Joe by not walking along the dugout area. I did see him stretching, and I also saw a skinny blonde leaning over the fence and talking to him. Whatever moment of pleasure I had at seeing his amazing body was quickly squashed by the sight of his new girlfriend. I knew I shouldn't have been surprised to see her at the game, but I also thought Joe would have told me before introducing her to Sophia.
Once we made it back to the front of the stands, I let Sophie down and scanned the crowd. I was surprised there were so many people in the stands, but then I remembered that this game was some sort of an event. Before I could find any Morellis, Sophia's cousins had spotted her and started waving and yelling. Thankfully, they weren't all the way back at the other end of the stands, close to Joe. About half way up and near the middle sat Paul, Jenny, and their kids along with Cathy and Matt and their kids. I didn't see Mary, but I noticed that her girls were sitting next to Cathy.
I held tightly to Sophia's hand as we made our way to her family. I noticed several Burg housewives giving me sympathetic smiles and whispering about "how I was handling everything", but I kept my focus on my happy little girl. Unfortunately, that meant I did not see Heather walking straight towards us.
"I can take her up there, Stephanie," a sweet voice said, pulling my attention to the perky blonde smiling down at my daughter.
"Excuse me?"
"I'm sorry. I just feel like I know you. I'm Heather McDaniels. I've met your mother and grandmother, and of course, Joe has told me all about you." She gave me a little tilt of her head with a goofy smile.
"Of course," I replied evenly and then immediately looked over her shoulder to find Joe. He was supposed to be in some kind of team meeting, but his eyes were wide and glued to me. I gave him a fake smile, one that I knew he would know was fake, and then looked around. It seemed Joe wasn't the only one curious about this meeting. Crap. Everything I said would be reported back to my mom in ten minutes.
"Hi, Sophie. I'm a really good friend of your daddy's. My name is Heather."
I tried not to glare at the woman, but I'm pretty sure my face would be fueling the sideline gossip for the rest of the game. Heather had crouched down in front of my curious daughter.
"Daddy talked about you," Sophie answered happily.
"He did?" Heather practically squealed, her lightly freckled cheeks spread in a wide grin.
"Uh-huh. I found your sunglasses at our house and he said they was yours." Sophie looked up at me. "Can I go sit with Tonya?"
"She's not here, bug. Remember? Uncle Tony and Aunt Angelina aren't here today."
"Oh yeah. Can Heather take me up there? I wanna see Daddy hit the ball. He's really good."
Heather looked at me expectantly, and I hated her a little for being so nice. At least my boobs were bigger.
"All right. I love you." I bent over and kissed her forehead. "See you tomorrow, okay?"
"Love you too, Mommy!" And then she hopped over to Heather and held onto her out-stretched hand. Just like that.
"So glad to finally meet you, Stephanie. I promise Sophie will be fine."
"Thanks," I answered through the frog in my throat.
In my hurry to get away, I didn't think to turn around and walk back behind the stands. So as one of the firemen began singing the National anthem, Joe hopped the fence and ran over to me. Lord! Did he not realize that half the Burg was watching the show we were providing?
"Steph, are you okay?"
"I'm fine." I kept walking, knowing he really couldn't follow me. The game would be starting in moments. Thank God.
"We need to talk, okay?"
"Yeah. I know. Have a good game," I called over my shoulder and practically jogged to my car.
As much as I dreaded talking to Joe, I wanted to hear any news he may have directly from him and not the Burg gossip network. Or Grandma, same thing.
Joe immediately called me after the game ended. That was unexpected. Maybe that was more wishful thinking on my part, but Joe had not been very open with me since Mother's Day. It didn't take a genius to know that it must be something - or someone - important for him to seek me out. My stomach was in knots when I answered the phone.
"Steph, I'm sorry. I know you feel ambushed."
"Joe. Everyone in the state of New Jersey knows you are dating her. Well, except Sophie." I frowned. "Right? Or did you tell her today?"
"No. I didn't tell her anything other than she is my friend. That's all she needs to know right now. I told you I would let you know before – "
"Before you brought her around any of your girlfriends," I interrupted. "Well, what was today?"
"I didn't … I had told her not to come, but she really wanted to be there. Sophie has been at every game and this was the last one."
I rolled my eyes at that. "I see."
"She has no idea who Heather is to me. She was with my family the whole time, Stephanie. Heather didn't really interact with her. If you would have brought her to me, I would have walked her to my family. I'm sorry that she ambushed you like that. I told her —"
"Joe!" I interrupted. I stopped talking because I just wasn't sure what I wanted to say. There were so many feelings and thoughts racing through my mind. Seeing Joe with Heather was way worse than I could have anticipated. Why couldn't I just move on from him for once and for all?
"We won," he tried, but we could both hear the false ring to his voice.
"Great."
He sighed. "By the way, this is my cell phone. Heather convinced me it was time to get one."
"I'll save your number."
"Steph …"
"Hey, I've gotta go. I have plans tonight."
"With those boys?" he came back at me and I could picture the sneer on his face.
"With my friends." I was getting really pissed. "Bye, Joe." And I hung up.
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I slept with Tom that night. He was pretty amazing, but I felt like shit afterwards. I had promised myself that I wouldn't do it. That put me at six men I had slept with.
What the hell was I doing?
Tom had been very attentive over the last few weeks since Andy and I had put our friends with benefits relationship on hold while he pursued some girl he liked. I knew Tom wanted me. He had been pretty consistent about that since the night I met him. And I really did like him. He was smart and funny. A little wild at times, but he was a good guy. A good guy who thought I was the kind of girl he could fall in love with. He actually said that afterwards. He told me he could make me happy. Sadly, I kind of worried what I was going to end up doing to him. I was also starting to feel like the slut that most of the Burg believed me to be. So in order to make myself feel less like a skank, I agreed to start dating Tom for real. The only thing good I could see from that decision was having a real date to Mary Lou's wedding.
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A/N: Thanks for sticking with me. You can see that Steph has some work to do still. And Joe - I'm still working on that one-shot so you can see what is going on with him.
We are getting there slowly - promise. Please leave a review. What do you think about Heather? Andy?
