6
"I'm going to kill him," Kyouka says. "I'm going to kill that purple fuck!"
"Kyouka," Momo says. "It's fine. I'll just—"
"It's not fucking fine, he can't just say that to you. Hell, he's been saying shit to every single one of us! And what he did to Tsuyu in fucking USJ? Fucking insane. We were all in the middle of a life or death situation and he was still thinking with his dick!"
"And to think a guy like that aces all his tests," Mina says. "Sometimes I think god doesn't exist."
"Tell me about it."
"If you ask me," Kyouka says, "We should just cut off his purple fucking dick."
"God," Tooru says. They can hear her sigh. "Wouldn't that be nice?"
It's PE and they're watching the boys run their laps—it'll be their turn after. The reason why they can't all run together is unclear since there are only six girls anyway, but they aren't complaining. "It's fine," Momo says again, somewhat pensive. "I'll. Talk about him to Aizawa-sensei. See what he does."
"I can accompany you."
"Me too."
"We should all go. We should call a strike."
"Aizawa-sensei, we demand that you get rid of this piece of shit at once or we'll write a call out on social media. UA isn't providing a … what's its nuts, a good, uh, area or something—"
"A safe space."
"UA isn't providing a safe space for us beautiful, independent, powerful young women."
"How dare they."
"What does this say about the current state of Hero society?"
They laugh again. And then Tsuyu says, "Do you think Aizawa-sensei will actually do something about it?"
There is a pause in the conversation.
It's a beautiful day, sunny, the sky bluer than blue. Some of the boys have decided to go shirtless and dump the content of their water bottles to their faces and at each other. They all watch the boys laugh and banter, as boys do—roughhouse each other.
"..Well…" Tooru says. "He doesn't seem like the type of guy who'd let this kind of thing slide."
"But he is a guy."
Another pause. They look at each other. "Come on.." Tooru says. "No way, right? He's a teacher.."
"..believe it or not," Mina mutters, "girl teachers aren't always better either."
"Yeah, teachers are shit," Kyouka says. "Gender neutral. But guys are worse in general."
"I can't argue with that," Mina says.
"He's a Pro-Hero, guys. Come on."
"Let me teach you a cool trick. Open up google dot com and insert the keywords 'Hero' and 'scandal' right now."
"All right, all right, damn."
"..I'm sure he'll do something about it," Momo says. She sounds like she's trying to convince herself. "Tooru is right—Eraserhead is a respectable Hero. I'll file an official complaint to him. I'm sure it'll get sorted out in no time."
"And then what?" Kyouka says. "Look, I'm sorry, I don't want to sound like a bitch—"
"Oh, is that right?" Tooru says.
"Fine, I love sounding like a bitch, bitch. But fucking anyway—look, Momo. You file a complaint, then what? You think they're going to kick him out? Move him to another class? Or are they just going to give him a warning and we'll have to continue looking at his stupid face for the rest of our school year?"
"Well," Momo says, and then neither she nor anyone else says anything for the next few seconds.
Tsuyu breaks the silence. "I think we all know the answer to that," she says calmly.
"You're being pretty chill about this, Tsuyu."
She shrugs. "He's a boy."
"You've got to be shitting me. That's not an excuse."
"No, it's not," says Tsuyu plainly, and nothing else.
"..I don't know, guys," Tooru says again, but she's sounding more and more unsure by the second. "Aizawa-sensei seems pretty no-nonsense, though, right? He might expel him. He was threatening to expel someone back on the first day after all..."
"But he didn't. Maybe he's all talk."
"Okay, that's not fair, he literally almost died for us—"
"First of all, he's a Hero, so that's his job —"
"It is, isn't it? Man," says Mina to no one in particular. "The hell did I sign up for?"
"—second of all, I'm just saying, he's not actually that hard on us, is he? He's actually, you know. Pretty nice."
"Nice enough that he'd let things slide, you mean?"
"Kyouka might have a point. Yeah, sure, he'll die for us—but would he get rid of a porn-brained student for us? It's two entirely different things."
Beat. They look at each other. "Fine," Tooru finally says into the silence. "Fine. Okay. We should just totally kill him and cut off his purple dick."
This breaks the tension. "Not in that order," Tsuyu says, and they all laugh again.
Mina grins. "Fake an accident, or something. Sorry, Aizawa-sensei, I think he slipped down the stairs..."
"Aizawa-sensei, I swear, I have no idea how he fell off the window.."
"Aizawa-sensei, I think the wind flew the knife out of my hand and into his stupid ugly face.."
"Aizawa-sensei, don't mind the blood on my hands.."
Even Momo is cracking a smile at the murder fantasy jokes. "Come on, guys," she says, half-heartedly. But her friends aren't done with their imagination exercise of the Mineta Problem.
"Let's lure him," Tooru says. "With our feminine wiles."
"Come up to him and be all like. Mineta-kun. You're sooo hot."
Laughter.
"Mineta-kun, you're sooo smart."
"You're sooo tall."
"You're sooo funny."
"You're sooo cool."
"Mineta-kun, do you know the answer to this problem? I'm just sooo stupid."
"And you're sooo much smarter. Than me."
"Do you wanna go on a date, maybe?"
They all laugh again. "You know," Kyouka says. "That might actually work."
"Bring him to a secluded place. Get him to a second location.."
"This is so fucked up," says Mina, who sounds gleeful by the fact.
"And then kill him."
"Oh, you guys," Momo says, but they all can hear the smile in her voice.
"Let's do it," Kyouka says.
"Seriously?"
"Seriously."
They aren't serious, of course. None of them are. It's only a thought experiment. A power-trip fantasy that'll never happen, or be achievable.
"We can't all do it," Tsuyu says. "We need alibis. Some of us have to stay behind."
"Aw," Tooru says. "And here I thought collective murder can be a great bonding activity."
"Someone gotta do the alibi. Someone gotta do the murder. Someone gotta do the body disposal. Teamwork, baby."
"I can burn the body."
"Dump it down the dock. Always a classic."
"Melt it down with acid. Yet another classic."
"Or we can feed it to the pigs. Didn't Koda-kun say his family has a pig farm?"
"Cook it into stew," Mina raises her hands defensively when everybody gives her a look. "What? I'm not gonna eat him. Nobody's gonna question it if you throw out some leftover stews. It's a good body disposal plan!"
The boys have finished their laps. Ochako watches Deku, who is trailing a little behind the group, shoulders raised. He couldn't beat Iida's speed, but he was one of the fastest runners—he's probably staying behind on purpose to hide from the rest of the world or something like that. He's been doing that every period. Look, now he's gonna go sit down sadly on his own and drink his bottle of water sadly on his own—
A boy comes up next to Deku, bumping his shoulder. Ojiro Mashirao-kun. He's smiling at Deku, open and friendly, saying something to him. And to Ochako's mild surprise, Deku smiles back; in that weird way of his, like he isn't quite used to doing it. The both of them seem to be having a conversation, unintelligible from this distance. And then Iida-kun shows up, and the three of them exchange words. Banters. Deku doesn't speak much, but she can see that his shoulders relax just the tiniest bit. That small, crooked smile stays on his face.
Huh.
"Hey."
"Hey," Ochako says, turning to find Mina standing next to her. "Has the lap started yet?"
"About to! Come on."
They walk to the track lines together. The grass is lush under Ochako's feet, the air smells fresh. From the other end of the arena, another class is having PE class as well—maybe the upperclassmen, or one of the general classes. "Ugh, look. He's bothering the girls again," Mina says, frowning. She cups her hands around her mouth like a cone. "Hey, Mineta! Fuck off!"
They watch as Mineta finally leaves the girls alone. Kyouka—and Tooru too, judging from her gestures—are yelling something at him, shooing him away from the girl's bathroom entrance. "Can you believe that guy? He just won't stop."
"He won't, will he," Ochako says.
Mina glances back at her. "Hey.." she says, carefully. "You were kind of. Quiet back there. Did all those ... jokes bother you? Since—" she cuts herself off, looking both awkward and uncomfortable. "Since, uh.."
She looks nervous; it's a rare look on Mina. It's a little cute. Ochako smiles at her. "Since I killed someone?" Ochako says helpfully.
There is a mixed look on her face. Mina is so expressive, it's a feat difficult to mimic. But Ochako will get there one day. "Yeah," Mina says, sounding both sheepish and apologetic. "I just thought maybe, you know—"
"Yeah, they bothered me."
Mina goes still. "Oh. Um, I—"
"Your plans were all too complicated," Ochako says. "I'll just make his body disappear."
Mina stares at her, surprised. And then she begins to laugh.
See, so expressive. Nothing kept away whatsoever. Deku is all hidden, unsure emotion behind a triplex-thin veneer, but Mina is without shame. She wears her heart on her sleeve, without hesitation, without doubt. Open. It makes people put their complete trust in her. Ochako doesn't remember the last time she admired something this much. "You're so..." Mina shakes her head. "You're crazy, Ochako-chan. I like it."
Ochako curtsies. "Why, thank you, Ashido-sama."
Mina curtsies back. "You're welcome, Uraraka-sama."
There is a moment where Mina just stares at her, her laughter having faded into a faint smile. And then she says, "Can I ask you questions? About it?"
Yet another interrogation. Ochako prepares herself for another session of crying and saying things like oh, I was so scared, I didn't know what I was doing. "Sure."
"Can you really do it?" Mina says. "Make someone's body disappear—like you did with that Villain?"
Ochako blinks. She looks at her. Mina returns her gaze back, steady. Open. Ochako considers her for a moment. "Depends," Ochako says then.
"On what?" She sounds curious—the morbid kind. But there isn't fear there.
"On the makeup of the person's body. And also. On what you mean by disappear." Ochako looks up at the sky. So hot, even though it's still a few weeks before summer. "For example, I might not be able to make Mineta-kun disappear the way that Villain did."
"Oh…" Mina says. "Why?"
"The Villain's body was partially gaseous, and his Quirk was a bad match to mine. His 'disappearance', on the most part, was the result of the interaction between both of our Quirks."
Mina hums, like this is all so fascinating. "Did you know that … that the Villain would disappear?" Mina says. "If you. Used your Quirk on him?"
"No," Ochako says.
And she's honest. She isn't lying. She didn't know. Sure, she had some kind of hypothesis, a picture of what would happen in her head, but she wouldn't have known, would she? Not before she actually did it? If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?
"Okay," Mina says. There is a long pause where they just walk next to each other, and Ochako already thinks that the topic is closed when Mina suddenly says, "That's too bad about Mineta then."
The quip catches her by surprise. Ochako turns to look at her, almost startled. And then Ochako laughs.
A real one—head thrown back, all that. When she's done, she looks at Mina like she's seeing her for the first time. "You're funny, Mina." Ochako says. Quite funny. How had Ochako missed this? "I like that."
Curtsy. "Why, thank you, Uraraka-sama."
Curtsy. "You're welcome, Ashido-sama." And then Ochako says, informationally, "Mineta-kun's body is solid matter. If I do the same thing I did to that Villain to Mineta, it won't disappear the same way because it would be very messy."
Mina looks at her. Ochako looks back. "But I can always fly his body beyond the exosphere," Ochako says. "It'll travel forever through space in zero gravity. Forever. No fingerprints. No witnesses. No trace. How does that sound for a good body disposal plan?"
They stare at each other. And then Mina starts to grin. "You know, Ochako," Mina says. "You're really funny too."
They get to the tracks, kneeling down. The lap is starting soon. Without looking at Ochako, Mina says next to her, "We are all going to make really good Heroes someday."
It's said like a joke. "The absolute best," Ochako replies.
After PE, the girls hit the showers. Showers take a while, because UA's hot water is excellent, and the school fee is expensive, so they might as well take advantage. There is even a hairdryer and a bunch of toiletries kits with high-end hand lotions in it.
"Can I borrow your shampoo?"
"Only if I can copy your chem homework."
"You really think I did the chem homework?"
They wait for each other to finish, because solidarity is a good excuse to be late after class. When everyone is finally done taking turns with the hairdryer and is on their way to class, Ochako stops abruptly. "Aw, shoot," Ochako says, turning to the other direction. "You guys go first. I forgot a thingie. Tell sensei I'll be a little late."
"Want us to accompany you?"
"Nah, it's fine—see ya in a bit."
Ochako re-enters the girls' locker room. Calmly, she walks to the wall next to one of the lockers, and crouches down so she can be at eye level with a little dent on the wall.
It's small, but unmistakable—there is a hole in the wall.
She squints. Across the opening, she can see a good view of the boys' locker room, empty.
She leans back, staring at the hole for a thoughtful, silent moment. Then Ochako stands back up and then walks out to follow the others.
When Ochako gets paired with Mineta for a group study in physics class, Ochako's phone vibrates like crazy.
JK: wtf … ask for a change!
YM: Are you okay with this? You can talk to the teacher.
AM: this is srsly messed how could they do this
AT : are u ok?
HT: kill him
YM: I can talk to the teacher for you if you'd like!
AT: yeah i'll convince the teacher too
JK : kill him
AM: kill him
AT: kill him
AM: seriously though ask for a change
HT: yeah srsly
UO: lol
UO: its ok its just gross lol but whatever
UO: im good dw
YM: Okay, if you're sure.
JK: kill him
AM: kill him
AT: kill him
HT : kill him
UO: I will!
For a second there is a lull in the chat group as the implications sink in. Ochako stares at the seen by five people text before she decides to type again for need of clarification.
UO: Im just kidding :)
AM: haha
UO: Not really, I'll make sure to lure him with my feminine wiles :)
JK : LMFAOOO
AT: LOL
HT : real
UO: I'll ask him out on a date
UO: and then fuck him up :)
HT : this is dark lol… love it
JK: youre crazy
JK: youre my girl fr
AM: ok but let us know if he does anything we'll srsly kill him
JK: just give me a signal and i'll blow up his dick 2 kingdom come
She puts her phone back inside her blazer when Mineta finally comes to her desk, zero charm and all indecent thoughts. "Hi," Ochako says sweetly.
"Hi," Mineta says, looking like he could just about die happy right now.
And he really could. Die, that is. Not sure about the happy part.
The teacher assigns them a booklet of physics problems that they have to solve by next week and, to ensure that they're really getting all that physics stuff drilled into their heads, each team has to present one solution in front of the class. Ooh, a presentation. The scariest thing a 15 year old has to face. Top three, really. Seconded perhaps only by terrorist attacks and acne.
The pairing is based on the exam they took last week, which is to say, a high-scoring kid paired with a lower-scoring kid because while we should all believe in equality, there is just no helping a dummy. Hence Mineta and Ochako, because Ochako is a dummy according to her score, and also because she can't give a shit about physics class if it's threatening to kill her in her own house.
The teacher continues to explain formula this and formula that, and how important it is for them to score well in the exam next month because obviously being a Pro-Hero requires you to be able to calculate the centrifugal force of a flywheel. She isn't listening. Ochako is looking at Mineta, who doesn't notice, because while Mineta is also looking at her, he is looking at other parts of her that are not her face.
It's the kind of person Mineta is. She doesn't judge. "Mineta-kun."
"Yeah?" he is still not looking at her face. "What's, uh, what's up?"
"You're so smart, Mineta-kun," Ochako smiles. "Much smarter than me. I think I'd need your help … a lot … for this assignment."
Mineta blushes at the compliment. "Oh, uh, of course, Uraraka-san—" and then he proceeds to say some crazy perverted shit here that Ochako blocks off her mind.
"I was thinking," Ochako says on top of Mineta's crazy pervert monologue. "Maybe you could do all of the questions. And then explain the answers to me afterward?"
"Oh, totally," Mineta says, pausing from his nasty shit.
"Yay," Ochako says. "You're the best."
"Wow," Mineta says, what with it being the first time he's ever complimented by a girl who is not his mom.
"So, where do you wanna work on it?" Ochako says. "I know a lot of spots in town."
This particular spot is a cheap Starbucks rip-off south of Musutafu. Ochako smiles at Mineta when he comes in, waving at him in case he gets distracted by any other female-presenting person in five meter radius.
He finds her table. It's cute how he dressed up for her—he's wearing a nice button-up, a stylish sling bag and what looks like a pretty expensive pair of shoes. Mineta sits down in front of her, barely able to rise above the table, and looks at her like he's going to heaven soon.
And who knows? He could very well be right.
Mineta-kun is an excellent student, proven by the entirely filled-out answer sheets that he's given her, and he isn't a half bad teacher either, although he is still having difficulty in finding where exactly Ochako's face is positioned. "The acceleration of both objects would be 9.8 m/s^2. So both objects would land at the same time. But the paper has a greater surface area, and so will be affected by air resistance more."
"Wow," Ochako says.
"But by reducing the surface area—like say, by crumpling the paper, it'll land at the same time as the 10 kg brick."
"Okay. So the velocity after one second would be.."
"-9.8 m/s^2. After two seconds it would be -19.6 m/s^2, and so on."
"Awesome," Ochako says. "Do you want me to be your girlfriend, Mineta-kun?"
Mineta-kun falls from his chair and is only saved from hitting the floor because Ochako uses her Quirk on him. "You okay, Mineta-kun?"
"Yeah," he says. Mineta doesn't seem to even realize that he's being floated back to his chair by her Quirk. His eyes are a little glazed and he's looking at her with some kind of awe, like he doesn't really believe this is happening, or maybe because he had hit his head at the corner of the table. "Yeah..."
"Yeah as in you're okay, or yeah as in you want me to be your girlfriend?"
"Yeah," Mineta-kun says.
"Okay," Ochako says, closing her notebook. "Let's go on a date."
Mineta follows her obediently to a theme park just a few blocks away from the cafe they were in, a Disneyland copycat that costs 4,000 yen per entry with a student discount. 4,000 yen that, as Ochako kindly explains to Mineta, neither of them needs to spare.
"You just need to climb up there," Ochako says, pointing to the rooftop of a parking building connected to one of the rides in the park. "There is an opening through the window that goes directly into the theme park staff's bathroom."
Mineta doesn't exactly look unconvinced, but Ochako can see his hesitance. Ochako smiles at him. "C'mon, Mineta-kun," she says sweetly. "Don't you wanna have some fun?"
The opening is still there. Mineta climbs first. Ochako watches him struggle to get to the window, pausing in hesitation when he has to jump across the gap between the buildings. Aizawa-sensei, I swear, I have no idea how he fell off the window…
"You did it, Mineta-kun," Ochako says, clapping for him as a reward when he got across safely. "Wow! You're so cool! I didn't know you could do parkour."
"It's n-nothing," Mineta says, cold sweat running down his forehead.
Ochako crosses over. Mineta touches her inappropriately the moment she does because that's the kind of person he is. But Mineta-kun, despite his flaws, proves to have some parts of him that yearn to be an upstanding citizen after all. When they get into the "official" theme park area, he sounds paranoid as he asks for the umpteenth time, "Uraraka-san, don't you think we're—we're gonna get caught?"
Ochako looks around. The park is still the same as the last she remembers it—which is, what, last week? She points in a direction. "I want ice cream," Ochako says. She looks at Mineta. "Get me some ice cream, Mineta-kun."
The ice cream cart is right across a Hollywood-fashioned street. It has a long queue, mostly of children and their guardians. There is a group wearing kindergarten uniforms—maybe a study tour of some sort. "Um, okay," Mineta says. He starts to pull out his wallet and Ochako says sadly, "Oh no. They ran out of chocolate."
They watch as the shopkeeper crosses out the chocolate option on the menu signboard. "We can go to a convenience store and get a cho—"
"I don't want chocolate ice cream from a convenience store."
Mineta looks at her. She looks back at him, smiling. "I want chocolate ice cream from this store."
"Maybe, um, maybe we can go another day—"
Ochako shakes her head. "No, Mineta-kun," she says. "I want chocolate ice cream from this store. At this moment. Now."
"..But, but if they ran out then there is nothing we can d—"
Ochako points at the line of kindergarteners sitting on the benches. "Take it from one of those kids."
There is a pause. Mineta-kun huffs a disbelieving laugh, but then it's gone the moment he sees she's serious. "Um. Uraraka-san, you're kidding ... right..?"
Ochako looks at him sadly. "Mineta-kun," she says. "Aren't we boyfriend girlfriend?"
"Uh. Yes.."
"Then you should be willing to do anything for me," Ochako says. "Because I would do anything for you."
Mineta hands her a cone of chocolate ice cream he snatched out of a four year-old's hands.
He looks pale, rushing her along to get as far away as possible from the four year-old's cries. "Mm," Ochako says, giving it a taste as he shoves her around. "Yummy." Without giving it another lick, she throws the ice cream into a nearby trash can.
Ochako has always thought boys like Mineta are boring.
She's met boys like him since she could walk outside the house. They're everywhere—in school, in buses, in malls, in the streets. But she might finally change her mind; Mineta is being so completely hilarious right now, she could cry.
After a while, Mineta seems to have reconciled with the fact that he's illegally trespassing a theme park and seems to be excited with the idea of enjoying the park despite the illegal circumstances. Mineta asks if they can go ride the rollercoaster and Ochako says no. Instead they go cart racing, where Ochako crashes the hell out of Mineta's cart five times until he looks all pale and sick. They go to the haunted house, where Ochako can feel Mineta sidling up to her like he did to Tsuyu in USJ and touching her without permission. Once they're out, Ochako takes him to the souvenir shop.
The shop is of decent size. It's not so crowded since it's a weekday. They sell ugly mugs and hoodies with the theme park's ugly mascots on them, but there is some good stuff—keychains and merchandise of Heroes and Heroines, both real and fictional, special playing cards, stuff like that. One catches Ochako's eye—a keychain of that Heroine from the famous anime back when she was a kid. The keychain is a special edition too—pricey enough that it's out of a rich student's weekly allowance money.
She points at it. "Mineta-kun," says Ochako. "Get that for me."
"..Sorry, Uraraka-san, I don't have enough money for—"
"I know," Ochako says. She smiles at him. "Get that for me."
It took Ochako a long time to understand people. Years, really. But Ochako has found that understanding people is a continuous, ever-evolving thing. She can't stop learning—she has to keep learning it.
This doesn't make Ochako any different from her peers.
You see, a teenager's understanding of the world is often poor, whether said teenager has a conscience or not. Ochako might not understand empathy if it's standing in front of her selling a box of baby shoes, never worn, and this doesn't make her any less adept at socializing than the other teenagers around her. Empathy, like socializing, is a difficult concept for her to learn—but that doesn't mean she can't learn it. Sure, she may never be able to feel it, but she can learn it.
"What's wrong, Mineta-kun? Are you scared you're gonna get caught?" Ochako asks him empathetically. "It's okay. You're standing at the camera's blind spot. Nobody will know."
There is a flash on his face, and for a moment, she can see the moment where he actually is considering it. There is a moment there, she sees, where Mineta actually thinks that he could do it. Then that moment is gone.
"I can't do that," Mineta says.
"Why?"
He looks at her like she's crazy. His voice is pinched down, scared. Anxious. "Stealing—stealing is wrong."
"You stole that ice cream from before, though," Ochako points out.
He blanches. "That was … different … and you, you asked me to—"
Ochako laughs. He looks so panicked and scared and stupid, it's a little funny. "I was just joking, Mineta-kun," she says, genial and kind. "You should've seen the look on your face—you took it so seriously. I wouldn't ask you to steal something so expensive." She smiles. "Nothing more expensive than ice cream, anyway."
He swallows. "I think," he says, warily, "I think maybe I should go. It's getting, um, late, and—"
The girls were wrong. While Mineta Minoru's blood might often circulate south, it does make its pitstop at the northern parts at times. How else would he ace those tests otherwise? "Not before we go on to the Ferris wheel," Ochako says. "It's a must-go. Aren't we a couple?"
Mineta seems to brighten up at the idea, because being in a confined space with a girl for seven minutes isn't something that'll likely occur to him again for the foreseeable future.
The Ferris wheel is Ochako's favorite attraction. She doesn't do high-speed rides, like roller coasters, because they feel too much like her Quirk. But a slow, silent ascend to the top of the sky—it's nice. Even calming, if Ochako is the kind of person who needs calming. She likes how everything feels so cut off and apart from up above.
Ochako seats herself primly across from him. "Isn't it so romantic?" Ochako asks him.
"Yeah, it is."
He's squirming in his seat, face red with fucked up excitement. So simple. Ochako has got him down pat. Ochako smiles. "Is this your first date, Mineta-kun?" She asks him. "Am I your first girlfriend?"
He's blushing harder. "Yes.."
How very adorable. "Do you wanna hold hands?"
Mineta looks like he's about to pass out from happiness, Ochako's previous antics long forgotten. "Yes."
His hand is small and clammy and sweaty in her grasp. "Are you having fun?"
"Yes, Uraraka-san."
"Good," Ochako says sweetly. "Now that we're boyfriend girlfriend, I can take a look at your phone, right?"
Their cart rises higher and higher. Beyond the windows, the sun is setting, bathing golden lights over the city. It's beautiful. Mineta tenses under her hold. "Uh.."
"Come on … Minoru-kun. I can call you that, right? I just love saying it. Minoru-kun. Minoru-kun. Minoru-kun." She tilts her head. "Minoru-kun. I just want to check if you're texting other girls. Is that so wrong?"
"That's ... I'm, I'm not—"
"You see, I'm a pretty jealous girl, Minoru-kun," Ochako says. "I don't like to share."
"Uraraka-san—"
"Do you remember what you taught me today?" Ochako says. "You said. If a 10 kg object and a 5 kg object fall from the same height, due to gravity, they'd hit the ground at the same time. Right?"
The tense look in Mineta's eyes is clouded with confusion. "Uh, what—?"
"But if one of the objects has a greater surface area, it'd be affected by air resistance more, and therefore both of them will fail to hit the ground at the same time. I find that so sad and so unromantic," Ochako says. "Minoru-kun, if you don't let me take a look at your phone, I'm going to use my Quirk on this Ferris wheel and kill everyone in it including us. Do you think both of our bodies will hit the ground at the same time from this height?"
Mineta stares at her. And then his eyes dart to the door that, if he tries to open, will greet him with a thirty-eight meters free fall to his death. His eyes dart back at her again, his face white with fear and finally, a sort of terrorized understanding. As if he has just understood, at last, the gravity of his situation.
Ochako has no problem in helping him to understand it more. After all this is a group study.
"I have a physics problem, Mineta-kun," Ochako says. "And a solution to it. Do you wanna check if I solved it correctly?"
Mineta doesn't answer. Ochako stops smiling. Flatly, she says, "Mineta-kun, you promised you would teach me physics. Are you going to break your promise to me."
He pales further. Mineta stumbles over his words. "No, of c-course I'll—I'll help you out—"
Ochako smiles again. "Great," Ochako says, clapping her hands together. "Okay. Here goes. My height is 156 cm and I weigh 45 kg. You're 108 cm and you weigh 24 kg. I'm bad at physics, but I'm guessing there is a chance both of us won't land at the same time. And that is so sad. Because we are boyfriend girlfriend. We should be inseparable." She pats his hands lovingly, keeping them clasped tight in her grasp. "But don't worry, I found a solution. We just need to reduce both of our surface areas. So if the rest of our bodies are destroyed, save for our heads, I'm sure our heads will hit the ground at the same time. Won't that be so romantic?"
Mineta stares at her for a long time. When he speaks, it's shaky and broken, his eyes wide. "This ... Uraraka-san, this isn't funny.."
"Of course not," Ochako says, who in fact does think all of this is very very funny. "Do you think my feelings for you is a joke? That's terribly mean. I'm your girlfriend, Minoru-kun."
"You're crazy," Mineta says. "You can't—you won't ... do that. You're crazy."
"No, I'm in love," Ochako says, and then her Quirk flares.
Just a little nudge. Not a push.
Mineta Minoru starts screaming when their cart stops, finally reaching the peak of the Ferris wheel. His voice echoes loudly in the small, confined space, to the absolute apathy of one Uraraka Ochako. He starts to retch, sobbing. Her hands stay on top of his. Inseparable.
She waits patiently until his screams die down. "Now," Ochako says nicely. "Will you let me take a look at your phone? I won't be long, Minoru-kun. I'll give it back to you right after, m'kay?" His other hand shakily hands her his phone. "Unlock it." He unlocks it. "Good boy." Ochako opens the media folder. "Oh, no, Minoru-kun. It seems I'm not the only girl you like after all."
"It's—it's not what you think, please, it's not, it's—"
"It's exactly what Momo-chan thinks, though," Ochako says. "You're pretty bad at this, Minoru-kun, did you know that? She had a feeling that you'd been taking pictures up her skirt since the first time you sat next to her in class. But she didn't want to accuse you based on baseless assumptions, or something. Isn't that very nice of her." Ochako scrolls, scrolls. "Oh, look. I'm here too." Parts of her, anyway. She scrolls, scrolls. "And every other girl in 1-A." She scrolls, scrolls. "And 1-B. Wow. Looks like my boyfriend is a real ladies' man. Whatever should I do?"
Mineta is crying. "Please."
"Were you the one who made that peephole in the locker room?"
"No! No, that wasn't me, it's always been there! I think, I think it's the upperclassmen who—"
"Oh, so you're only using it, but you didn't make it. Gotcha."
"What are you doing?" Mineta says stupidly, when Ochako begins taking photos of Mineta's phone with her own cell. "Please no, please—"
Ochako shushes him gently. "Shh, shh. It's okay, Minoru-kun. I'm your girlfriend, remember? What's yours is mine. What's mine is yours. I love you and you love me. Right?"
Mineta doesn't answer, too busy sobbing into the air. That won't do. Even Ochako knows you're supposed to say I love you back. "Minoru-kun. Say you love me."
His face is running with snot, tears, and vomit. "I love you."
Ochako feels nothing hearing it, so she tries saying it. "I love you too." She still feels nothing. She frowns, trying again. "I love you very much."
"I l-love you too."
"Say it back full," Ochako tells him.
Mineta obeys tearfully. "I love you too v-very much."
Still nothing. "I love you very very much," Ochako says again.
"I love you very v-very—very much," Mineta cries. "God please."
"I love you so much I can't live without you."
"I love you so m-much, I can't l-live with.." he breaks into a sob. "Can't live. Without you."
"I love you so much, I would die for you, I would kill myself for you," Ochako says. Mineta sobs and sobs. "Say it."
"I love you s-so—" Mineta is crying so hard he's gasping for breath. "So. Much. I would d-die for you, I would k-kill myself for y-you..."
Still nothing. Huh. She heard hearing all this is supposed to make you feel something. Maybe love is overrated, just like Villains. Just like everything else in life.
That's okay. They can't help it.
She looks back at his phone. "Well, now that we both love each other very very much, so much that we would die for each other and kill ourselves together and all that stuff, why don't we die together here so we can be with each other forever 'till the end of time?"
"Please, I—I—I don't want to die, I'll do anything—please, can't you just please leave me alone please—"
He keeps babbling, standard stuff—all pretty cliche actually. It's all quite boring, so Ochako isn't really listening. The cart is starting to move again, beginning its descent slowly. "Aw, Minoru-kun. Are you not happy with me? Do you wanna leave me?" Ochako says, still having fun scrolling on his phone to see all kinds of nasty stuff Mineta has gone up to. "Do you want to break up with me? That hurts."
"Please, please, I'll, I'll delete them all, I'll, I'll leave you alone I won't do it anymore so please—"
"You're breaking my heart. That makes me so sad," Ochako says. She closes his phone, and softly squeezes his trembling hand. "But why, though? If you want to break up with me you need to give me a reason. I deserve a reason. I hate boys who ghost."
"I just—I—"
"Is it my personality? Is it my looks? Am I not pretty enough? Not hot enough? Not good enough for you?"
"No, no, you're—you're p-pretty, you're really, really pretty—"
"Bullshit."
Mineta looks at her. Ochako smiles. Calmly, she says, "Bullshit, Minoru-kun. The truth is, it doesn't matter to you, right? It doesn't matter if I'm pretty, if I'm skinny, if I'm hot, it doesn't matter who I am. Because it only matters that I'm a girl, right?" Ochako watches him. "It doesn't matter as long as it's girls, right? Any girl would do, right?"
"I don't, I don't know what you're—"
"Minoru-kun," Ochako says. "Am I not girl enough for you?"
"I don't know what you want from me," Mineta cries.
When the cart reaches the bottom, Ochako's grip on his hand tightens harder so he doesn't make a run for it, and Mineta doesn't. It's funny. It's not like he can't try—if he makes enough fuss, there is a chance people outside will notice something's up. But he doesn't even try. People are funny that way—they like making things harder for themselves.
Of course, if he tries it Ochako will probably just kill him for real and everybody else too or whatever, but. It's the principle that counts, you know?
The cart crawls upwards again. One more rotation before they get off. "Aren't I giving you what you want?" Ochako says. "Minoru-kun. Why do you want to be a Hero?"
"What..?"
Her grip tightens. "Answer me."
Mineta chokes. "Because—because I want to save people—"
"You're lying. I don't like it when my boyfriend lies to me."
"Because Heroes are—please, please—because people—love Heroes—because—"
"You want to get girls, right?"
"Yes," Mineta says. "Yes. Yes."
Ochako gestures to herself, like tadah. "So here I am. Isn't that nice, Minoru-kun? You got your wish. So. You don't have any reason to break up with me. Right? Because I'm your greatest wish. So we are going to be boyfriend girlfriend forever, it seems. So fun."
Mineta just keeps crying, even though Ochako isn't using her Quirk on him anymore. "I'm going to sit next to you in class every day so I can make sure you aren't looking at other girls," Ochako says. "I'm going to get paired up with you every lesson and we are going to have lunch together every period. You're going to tutor me for every exam and you're going to do all my homework for me. I'll walk home with you after school and we'll go to this theme park and we are going to ride on this flywheel every weekend and you're going to get me chocolate ice cream every time, without fail. Wouldn't that be so romantic?"
"Please," Mineta begs. He sounds a little empty, and a lot stupid. "Let me go, let me go, please, I'll do anything..."
"It's really such a shame, though," Ochako says. "It's too bad that you're going to leave UA."
Mineta stops his dumbfuck babbling. Slowly, he looks up. He looks up at her like he doesn't get it. Like he doesn't get what she's saying, and he doesn't get why he has to be in this position and why he has to go through this. "What..?"
"You've trespassed, shoplifted, and taken non-consensual photos of fellow minors," Ochako says, counting on her fingers. "That's three crimes. It's too bad, but you can't continue to stay in UA with that track record, right? What if they find out? "
Silence as it all sinks in. And then he breaks into fresh tears and snot. "I didn't—you were the one who, you asked me to—I—" his sob wracks his whole body. "I never s-stole anything, it was all you —"
"Doesn't your bag feel a little heavy, Minoru-kun?" Ochako says. "Go on. You can check."
Slow and horrified, Mineta opens his bag. Inside are keychains. A good dozen of them, all limited edition. "Why are you doing this to me?" he says when he finally can speak again. He sounds almost astonished, like this horror he is experiencing awes himself. "You're—you're ruining my life—I don't —I don't deserve th-this—"
Ochako has a very clear understanding of the current society as she knows it.
This society, she understands, wants to get rid of bad people. How do you know what is bad and what is good, you ask? Well, to quote Aizawa-sensei, that is why they have the law. People who break the law—like trespassing and shoplifting and taking pictures up people's skirts—are bad people. And bad people are Villains.
But bad people can't help being bad. Nobody can't help being the way they are. Therefore, the perfect logic that exists in Ochako's mind is this: the only correct way to deal with Villains is to kill them.
"Are you going to kill me?" Mineta says.
"Of course not, silly," Ochako says.
But Ochako is not going to do that.
"I don't have the right to decide whether you deserve a second chance or not—even if I think you don't. And I do think that you don't. Oh, please don't take it personally, Minoru-kun," Ochako says, a coo at the pathetic look on his face. "It's not personal. It's not you, it's me. You're getting this all wrong, okay?" Ochako leans so she can look Mineta in the eye.
"You have to understand this," she says gently. "I'm not judging you, Minoru-kun."
She isn't. Honest.
Mineta-kun can't help being the way that he is. That's why reporting him to Aizawa-sensei would never work. Sure, maybe he'll lay down for a while, but he would still do the things that he does eventually. And he'll do it again and again and again, because he can't help it. And that's not his fault. She understands perfectly that people like him are just … like that. They can't help it.
Ochako doesn't judge him. She doesn't hold it against him.
"I understand. I get it. We were all born with our own thing, weren't we? Your thing is that you're a perverted peeping tom piece of shit who likes to sexually harass girls. As for me, well.." Ochako leans back, tapping a thoughtful finger on her lips. "Let's just say, for the sake of brevity in this conversation, my thing is that I don't think anyone deserves a second chance. After all, we were all born this way. Don't you agree? I can't help being me. And you can't help being a perverted piece of shit."
"Yes," Mineta cries. "Yes."
See? Someone gets it after all.
Ochako snaps her fingers. "Exactly! However. You see. I'm learning to be a Hero, Minoru-kun. And Heroes don't get to take anyone's second chances away. This is something new that I've been told, and it's a difficult concept for me to learn," she says. "But I've always been better with practical lessons. And so here we are, Minoru-kun. I'm practicing being a Hero with you. Isn't that great?"
"Yes," Mineta says, and she realizes at this point he's just saying anything to agree with her. That's fine. That's the kind of person that he is.
"This is why I'm not going to kill you," she says patiently. "In fact, Minoru-kun, I'm giving you an option to decide for yourself whether you deserve a second chance or not."
"Oh, god," he says. "Oh, god.."
"So play along with me, m'kay?" She pats his hand lovingly again. "This is after all a group study. We have to work together to understand the lesson."
"I don't understand," Mineta sobs.
"You don't have to," Ochako replies. "You just have to play along. Please, Minoru-kun? Won't you do it for me?"
"Okay," Mineta says.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
"That's a good boy," Ochako says. "So tell me, Minoru-kun. Why are you leaving UA?" she aims her phone at him. "Say it to the camera please."
"Because," Mineta says. "I've—I've trespassed.."
"Uhuh," Ochako says. "And?"
Mineta sniffles. "And, and I've shoplifted.."
"Uhuh," Ochako says. "And?"
"And I've—" Mineta breaks into another wet sob. "I've taken non-consensual p-pictures of my c-classmates.."
"Other students," Ochako corrects him. "You did it to 1-B girls too, remember, Minoru-kun?"
"I've taken non-consensu—non-consensual pictures of, of other students," Mineta chokes. "Who are m-minors."
"Oh, Minoru-kun. How awful," Ochako says, sounding real disappointed in her boyfriend's misdemeanor. She puts her phone back. "That's just too bad. You're my boyfriend. I want nothing more than to have you stay in UA with me. Forever."
"Please, please—"
"In fact. If you're leaving UA.." Ochako shakes her head sadly. "That's going to be a real problem for our relationship."
Mineta stops. He looks up.
Ochako smiles at him. "You see, Minoru-kun, I'm not a long distance kind of girl."
Mineta Minoru isn't stupid. Ochako knows that. Understanding enters the boy's face. Sobered up by the option that she has given him.
"If you're leaving UA," Ochako tells him. "Then I'm afraid we're gonna have to break up."
He isn't stupid. He leans back, pale, understanding completely what she means. The cart reaches its peak once again—the sun has fully set now, and the lights of the city call out to them. They're so far away, so cut off from the rest of the world. It's all very beautiful. Very romantic. Very empty.
"So what do you think, Minoru-kun?" Ochako says, rubbing her thumb on his skin. "Do you still want me to be your girlfriend?"
