Hours passed, and when Bella woke up, her whole body felt heavy. Her mind was foggy as light streamed across her face, the morning sun greeting her. It took her only a moment to realize where she was, and slowly, her mind caught up with why she felt as if she'd been sleeping for days on end. She didn't understand why she was still so tired...
Bella's fingers closed around something cold, and she stiffened, apprehensive to find that she was holding someone's hand. Edward? Fear made her heartbeat stumble over itself before calm settled over her shoulders, a warm, comforting blanket shielding her from the world. Relaxing her before she could panic.
"Bella?"
Bella blinked when she looked up and found Jasper sitting beside her on the bed, his head tilted back as he looked at the girl with gentle golden eyes—somehow, they looked as tired as she felt. If Bella were someone else, she would have thought Jasper was a young man, resting after a long, draining day at work or school. Human. She knew he wasn't, but her heart started skipping about in her chest as his thumb brushed over the back of her hand. Her eyes fluttered down to their joined hands, noticing the way Jasper's touch was so gentle as the pad of his thumb rubbed small circles on the back of her hand. His cool, hard skin against her warm, fragile one.
Completely different from what she imagined the stoic vampire's touch could ever be like. That brought her out of her thoughts right away, like cold water being splashed across her face to wake her up from a daydream.
You imagined his touch? What's wrong with you?
Ignoring the fact that her cheeks were flushing a bright pink and that she was enjoying Jasper's touch a little too much, Bella pulled her hand out of his grasp as she slowly sat up, looking towards the floor-to-ceiling window—she felt Jasper's unwavering gaze on her.
Then she recalled what had happened last night and grimaced, rubbing her hands over her face. She immediately regretted doing so when she caught Jasper's scent on the palm of her hand. Cinnamon and pine. A sweet, intoxicating scent that suited him.
How could she make Jasper stay with her the entire...night? Or had it been all day? Either way, it was mortifying that the empath felt he had to stay beside her the entire time just to help her sleep. It seemed that she lost all track of time ever since he left. She lost herself completely.
"How did you sleep?" Jasper's smooth voice startled her, even though she knew he'd been sitting beside her this whole time. She could almost hear Edward's voice in the back of her mind. His crooked grin that had once been hypnotizing now mocked her.
Silly, stupid girl...
"Better than I probably deserved to," Bella bit her lip, overcome by her shame. Jasper didn't move at all as she slowly turned to face him, still avoiding his eyes as she said, "I'm sorry about last night."
"You have nothing to be sorry for, darlin'," Jasper said, dismissing her worries with a gentle nudge of his gift as his eyes scanned her over—as if searching for anything that may be off. Other than the obvious, that is.
She avoided rubbing her hands over her face as she looked around the room. The pale sun was out, the day beginning anew. The evergreen forest and the mountains in the distance were the same as it always has been. Bella knew that deep down nothing had really changed.
So why does it feel as though everything is different now?
She sighed, "I should probably go home. Charlie will be worried if I'm not there soon."
"I'll drive you." Jasper stood in one swift movement, far more graceful than she could ever attempt to move. "Esme is making you breakfast. You feel like eating something before I take you home?"
Bella shook her head, "I'm not really hungry."
When Jasper narrowed his eyes, she knew he wasn't at all pleased to hear her dull answer. There was no point in trying to fight him or any of the Cullens—they'd probably force her to eat. That's what he would have done anyway. Surprisingly though, Jasper didn't fight her on it. Merely nodded and smoothed out the covers on the bed where he'd been sitting the whole night, making it look as if no one had ever been there at all.
A small part of her, though relieved that he didn't object to her choice of not eating, was also surprised.
Then the self-doubt seeped in and it came in a set of questions: Now that you're not with Edward, do the Cullens want anything to do with you at all? Would they still care for you the same way? Or would they simply tolerate you out of pity?
"Okay," she answered, pushing the hurtful thoughts away from her before she began panicking again. Jasper had no doubt felt her troubled, negative emotions and stiffened as he watched her push the covers off her legs. She stood up as quickly as she could, wanting to get home where she could be alone. She'd have to get used to sleepless nights again now that Edward wouldn't be there to keep her company, to hold her all night to keep the nightmares away.
Now he was the nightmare.
As she stood abruptly, feeling a surge of panic and despair wash over her Bella swayed slightly. The blood rushed to her head at the unexpected movement and she placed her hand over her eyes to rid herself of the white specks of light that invaded her vision.
"Are you okay?" Jasper walked around the bed and placed his hand on her elbow to steady her—feeling the dizzy spell gradually recede. The strange tingle she'd felt last night when his hand touched hers was back again when his thumb rubbed small circles on her arm as he watched her warily.
"Yeah," she murmured as she collected herself, her cheeks warming as he released her arm and stepped back, "Just stood too fast."
What's wrong with you?! Get a grip.
"Try to take it easy today." Jasper made a humming sound, "We wouldn't want you falling and cracking your head open." He grinned though the smile he gave her didn't reach his eyes.
Bella forced a smile of her own, "I'm sure that would be a nuisance considering I'm always getting hurt and causing problems when I do..."
That wiped Jasper's grin away quickly. His voice was lower as he said, "Not a nuisance, darlin'. Just a concern. None of us want you to get hurt, Bella."
She swallowed nervously, "Because of the blood, I know—"
"No, that's not why." He was quick to interrupt her, feeling the self-loathe that took over her sorrow. It physically hurt him to feel her emotions this way. "We care if there's blood because we care about you. Even Rosalie, believe it or not." Bella held back a less than graceful snort at Jasper's lie to make her feel better, "None of us want to see you hurting. Not because of our own weaknesses to be around human blood."
They stared at one another for a long moment. Unsurprisingly, Bella was the first to avert her gaze. She nodded but the hurtful emotions she felt towards herself didn't lessen.
Jasper had to try his best to hide the pained expression that threatened to make an appearance. Anger, frustration, grief, guilt, disgust—all waged an endless war inside her heart and mind. Silently he wondered if he could help ease her pain without the use of his gift. So he did the one thing he knew to do. Reaching up, his hand curled under Bella's chin and waited until she looked into his searching eyes again. The rage that boiled through his veins as the sight of her split lip made it difficult to keep his voice level and calm.
But he did it anyway, for the heartbroken girl in front of him.
"Bella, I want to apologize for the mess we made the night of your birthday. That was unfair to you and it was irresponsible on both ends." She didn't miss how he avoided saying his name, and she wasn't sure why but the small surge of gratitude filled her chest. "Can I start making it up to you from this point forward?"
Bella bit her bottom lip, contemplating. She was startled when she felt Jasper's thumb gently pull her sore lip from beneath her teeth. Now she realized how close they were to one another. She held her breath as she noticed his eyes were darker now as they flickered from her lip to her eyes, searching. For what, however, she wasn't sure.
"I never blamed you, Jasper, for what happened. It was an accident. But..." She was being honest but felt this was Jasper's way of making amends for the aftermath of his misguided cruelty. "What did you have in mind?"
"You tell me. What do you want right now?"
"I don't think that's how it works." Bella frowned, and her heart kicked about in her chest when she recognized the curve of his lips as a grin threatened to appear.
"It is how it works. I'm repaying you, and I can only do that if you tell me what you want. So, therefore, your wish is my command."
There could have been a thousand things she could have asked him for. Any girls in school would want money or a car, maybe drawing out the attention of one of the Cullens for as long as possible. But that's not what Bella wanted. All she wanted was—
"Please don't leave me," Bella whispered the words before processing what she was asking of Jasper. Of the whole family that probably heard this entire conversation downstairs. Appalled with her needy behavior, Bella made to pull away when she felt Jasper's hand still on her chin but he held her there, his other hand gently wrapping around her wrist. She looked back at him with embarrassment written all over her flushed face.
Jasper's eyes widened, his lips parted in realization before he composed himself again.
Then Jasper spoke the words she had wanted him to say that day in the forest. The comfort and trust that had been shattered into tiny shards of glass by Edward Cullen slowly began to reflect Jasper's kind face—scattered but there nonetheless. And he was picking up the pieces now, one by one.
"I have no intention of leaving you. Not ever."
Thanks for reading x
