A knock at the door brought Jasper's attention away from the book he'd barely been able to read for the last half hour, too preoccupied with thoughts of Bella to pay any mind to anything else. He missed her in a way he never thought he'd miss anyone considering all those who were important to him were right here, under the same roof–living forever. But yeah, he missed Bella. And it's only been a few hours...
Looking up from the book on his lap, he finds Alice hesitantly standing by the door. He straightened, "What is it?"
"Bella...she's having a bad night. Before you go rushing to her," Alice said slowly as Jasper rose from the couch in his study, frowning deeply at her words. "you should know, Charlie's with her. He's not making any move to leave her side right now. I just wanted to let you know to prepare you for what you'll see tomorrow when you go pick her up."
"And what am I going to see exactly?"
"She's going to be...really tired, Jazz. Tired in the sense that she probably won't want to get out of bed in the morning or want to go anywhere. But she needs that push."
At least Charlie was with her, he thought to himself, but if her nightmare was anything like it had been the last time, Jasper could only imagine what Charlie was witnessing. Hearing her screams when she had a nightmare last time, still tormented Jasper now. It made him ache for her. Want to be there with her.
Jasper pinched the bridge of his nose, "What should I do?"
"Go see her tomorrow, of course!" Alice said simply, shrugging with a small grin on her lips, "Put a smile on her face the way you always do. Give her that push to keep going in whatever form that will be."
When Jasper showed up the next day to pick Bella up, Charlie had been the one to answer the door. Dark circles lined under the man's eyes and Jasper noted the five o'clock shadow on his chin too. It had been alarming to see how exhausted Charlie was compared to the day before when he'd been fuming, vibrant with energy. But then Jasper knew why he looked this way when he felt the uncertainty and fear rolling off his shoulders.
"Bella had a bad night. Nightmares, I think." Charlie said after greeting him at the front door.
Jasper's jaw ticked, fighting to urge to walk past him and stride towards Bella's room. To be there for her. Hold her, if she allowed it. "Is she alright now?"
"She barely got any sleep last night and has been lying in bed an hour or so, trying to wake up. I decided I'm not gonna make her go to school today."
Jasper nodded, noticing Charlie was wearing his police uniform. The question came before he could think twice, "Would you like me to stay with her?" Charlie hesitated, frowning slightly at his unexpected offer.
"Uh, I'm not sure. I mean she'll probably be out of it for the rest of the day, son. Don't you have school?"
"My parents decided to pull us all out of school for the day to go hiking. But I wanted to check on Bella before going anyway."
He expected to feel apprehension from Bella's father or in the very least suspicion—it would be normal considering he'd only just met Jasper and he was also the brother of the man that broke her heart. But instead, he felt only a small ounce of admiration.
"Well, if you wouldn't mind sticking around...I'm sure she'll appreciate it. I know I would like to have someone nearby in case she needs something," Charlie finally said, patting Jasper's shoulder as he stepped out onto the porch. "Help yourself to something to drink or eat—unless it's beer, then stay the hell away from the fridge."
Jasper grinned, "Yes, sir."
"Thanks, kid," Jasper stepped into the house before Charlie called out from the bottom of the steps, "Uh, Jasper?" He turned, sensing the man's worry only grow as Charlie struggled to find the words he wanted to say. "Do you know...what happened between them? Edward and Bells. Things have been bad since they broke up. She thinks I don't see it but I do, she's my kid after all. I'm worried about her."
What could he possibly say to that? How could Jasper begin to explain what transpired between Bella and Edward without completely betraying her privacy? There was no way to do that and he wouldn't. So Jasper tried his best to be honest, "Edward decided to move in with some distant relatives in Alaska for a time until he had to go to college. The decision was...unexpected, even to us. In all honesty, it was a bad breakup, Charlie. But I think she'll be okay. We just gotta give her time."
Charlie mulled it over before nodding and finally turning to head to his cruiser. "No funny business, kid. I'd hate to have to shoot you with my gun when I see you again." Because Charlie liked Jasper already, even if he didn't acknowledge it out loud. Jasper could feel it and it was the best feeling in the world, knowing that his mate's father didn't entirely dislike him. Sending a small wave of gratitude for having his trust, Jasper waved Charlie off before heading into Bella's house.
Sunlight crept into her room, slipping past the pale blue curtains and across her lap,
Bella didn't know how long she'd been sitting in the loveseat, staring out windows in her room towards the backyard with a tired expression on her face.
Tired. She was so tired. The nightmares never relented, they burned into her body and mind—scarring her all night long despite all her attempts to try and find comfort in Charlie's gruff voice and his hand holding her own. Her body ached for sleep but the mere thought of it, of seeing Edward's face in the forest again...it tormented her.
Cold hands touched her shoulders just as she began to worry her mind with thoughts of what she would do if Edward ever did return.
"Bella?"
Slowly, she looked up, recognizing the smooth voice speaking to her. Maybe she really was dreaming again because there was no way he was here—
A wave of calm pushed past the haze in her mind with some difficulty, and when she finally saw him, she was startled. Jasper walked around the loveseat and kneeled before her, his hands coming to rest over her knees as he stared at her with worry-laced eyes. She noticed his amber eyes were lined with a hint of black around the edges. Beautiful eyes that stood out from the Cullen's bright golden eyes. These were Jasper's eyes.
"Talk to me."
Tears stung her eyes as relief, unlike any she's felt in a long time, washed over her. She hadn't felt this way since the Cullens rescued her from James's torture in the ballet studio and looking at Jasper now, staring into his placating gaze, she felt as though he were rescuing her all over again.
"You're really...here?" She whispered, voice hoarse from lack of sleep and all the screaming she'd done last night. "Not a dream?"
Jasper's lip quirked slightly, "No, I'm not a dream. I'm really here."
She bit her lip, barely realizing what she was saying when she spoke, "The nightmares...I can't escape them, they're everywhere. He's everywhere."
"I won't let them get you anymore. He's not here to hurt you, Bella. You're safe." His hand rubbed her knees soothingly, for once the cold of a vampire's touch warmed her heart. Jasper spoke sincerely as a crease formed between his brows, "What do you need me to do now? Tell me."
A tear rolled down her cheek as she stared at him. This kind man who came all this way to help mend her broken heart. She should refuse his help—reject any attempt he tried to make to be there for her. Just as she always rejected any of his forceful ways of trying to spoil her, keep her close and docile. But Jasper wasn't Edward. Not at all...
He watched as she slowly pushed off the chair and sunk to the floor in front of him.
Bella stared into Jasper's eyes with longing as more tears rolled down her cheeks. His hands slowly came up to cup her face, wiping her tears away with the pads of his thumbs and making her lean into his touch with a soft whimper. Jasper breathed the words softly, as though afraid to scare her away, "You're breaking my heart, darlin'."
That was her undoing. Hearing the words out loud. Feeling his genuine emotions through his gift, seeping into her body, Bella broke into a million pieces and the river of fear and heartache all came rushing out. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she gripped his shirt tightly in her small hands.
"Please..." her words broke off and released a series of breathless sobs. Jasper quickly wrapped his arms around her back and pulled her to him, close enough to sit on his lap and bury herself into his broad chest. He hadn't asked if he could touch her but there was no need to—she needed this. Needed him. Bella rested her chin in the crook of his neck, holding onto him in a vice grip Jasper could easily escape if he wanted to detach himself from her. But he never did. All he did was hold her and neither made any move to let each other go. "Please, don't leave me. I can't..."
"Never, you hear me?" he wrapped her in his strong arms as tightly as he could without hurting her, burying his face in her long hair as he whispered harshly, "Never, Bella. I'm here, always. Please, believe me, if not anything else."
He let her cry until the tears dried and her sobs died down. When she finished, Jasper slowly picked her up from the floor and carried her to the bed. When Bella still didn't let him go, merely tightened her hold on the back of his shirt and making no move to part from him yet, Jasper climbed into bed beside her and held her close without any complaint.
It was only when a thick wave of lethargy and comfort encased her completely that Bella finally went back to sleep, with dreams of an open field with tall grass under the warm sun and Jasper standing beside her. A peaceful dream where she felt safe and looked after.
When she woke up an hour later, still in his arms, Bella was greeted by his tender smile. She was immensely grateful he hadn't left her and most importantly, that he hadn't been a dream. He was here with her. Always.
They laid side by side, still wrapped up within each other's arms until Jasper finally asked, "Are you okay?" She nodded, blinking away the traces of sleep before noticing it was the early afternoon. He'd been here most of the morning, waiting for her to wake up.
"Yes, I am now." She answered sincerely.
Because of you.
"I'll warn you, I'm not nearly as good of a cook as Esme is," Jasper warned as he placed a plate of one fried egg, a couple of slices of bacon, and a slice of buttered toast in front of her. Despite her attempts to protest that she wasn't hungry at all, her stomach growled loud enough for the deer grazing behind her house to hear. The moment Jasper sent her a tight-lipped smile, she knew there was no way of escaping his wrath.
So here she'd obediently sat by the island and watched as Jasper moved about the kitchen, knowing where everything was surprisingly enough. Even cooking in a kitchen he'd never been in, Jasper managed to make it look effortless as he cooked her breakfast. When she'd offered to take over, he'd merely sent her back to her seat with a wink, "I don't want to risk you burning yourself. That's the last thing you need."
Shee couldn't argue with that.
"It looks good," she reassured him as Jasper settled into the stool beside her, patiently waiting for her to take her first bite. The moment the perfectly cooked fried egg landed on her tongue, Bella's eyes widened.
"That bad?" He asked, clearly waiting for her input on how his first home-cooked meal prepared for the human girl tasted.
Bella finished chewing her food before turning to face him and smiling, "It's perfect. Thank you. Is there anything you can't do?"
Jasper's eyes lit up as he grinned, "I can think of a few things...I don't know how to speak Chinese or play the violin."
Bella shook her head at him, "What a real tragedy."
"Don't tease me now. I'm perfectly serious. But I'm glad you like my nonexistent cooking skills." He looked down to the plate in front of her and for a moment, she wondered if he had been human that maybe he would be blushing right now. It was...cute.
He kept her company until she finished her plate, and this time, when she insisted on cleaning her own dishes, Jasper relented with a grin. They talked about silly things, things that helped distract Bella from the shroud hanging over her shoulder, and she was immensely grateful for them—for Jasper. They even talked about Charlie's threat to shoot Jasper if he tried anything on Bella. That made her chuckle, and it seemed to make Jasper happy to hear her finally begin to relax around him and that in return made her happy, just a bit.
"Carlisle said he'd look you over one more time today if you want. I can take you whenever you're ready to go."
"Okay, I'll go get dressed." Jasper took to waiting downstairs, looking at the many picture frames in the living room while she rushed to get ready for the day. Throwing on an oversized green sweater over her tank top and settling for a pair of skinny jeans, Bella avoided looking at her reflection in the mirror—not wanting to see what Jasper was probably seeing now—a tired, plain-looking girl that definitely did not belong with the Cullens.
"You'll have to stop with the self-deprecating emotions, darlin'. They're killing me." Jasper murmured when she finally joined him downstairs, tying her hair in a low ponytail. Bella's cheeks burned as she bit her lip, ashamed with herself that he felt her self-loathing.
"No," he said, walking up to her and gently pressing his thumb against her chin, pulling her bottom lip away from her teeth. She kept perfectly still, her breath catching as she watched the way his eyes stared at her lips for a moment before looking back up, "I'm not saying it to make you feel bad, Bella. I'm saying it because there's no reason for you to harm yourself so much. Words can harm just as much as hands can. The world is cruel enough as it is, you don't need to help it along."
She stared at him for a long moment, knowing that he had no ill intentions for chastising her now. On the contrary, he was worried about her. Enough to never truly leave her side or let her feel alone.
"I'll try..."
"That's all I can ask you to do. Now come on, Carlisle's waiting."
Slowly he reached down and took Bella's hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze before they walked out of the house together, hand in hand. The gesture was unexpected but...comforting, and surprisingly she didn't hate his touch. Didn't find it skin-crawling as she'd once felt when James or Edward touched her after she clearly said she didn't want them to come near her.
That's because Jasper made her feel safe.
Maybe that's why she did it, or it was his gift taking effect on her, but as they walked onto the driveway towards Jasper's car—
"Jasper, wait," Bella called, stopping him as he reached for the passenger door handle. He turned, brows raised in question as she stepped closer and did the one thing she never thought she'd do. She grabbed his hands to steady herself, pushed into her tiptoes, and placed a chaste kiss on his cheek. Sparks shot across her lips, and she rolled them together to control the sweet, warm feeling swirling in her chest.
When she leaned away, and he didn't let go of her hands, Bella whispered nervously, "Thank you for being so kind to me. I...I don't know what I would do without you." She knew her face was on fire right now, but if the price of expressing herself to him was feeling embarrassed, she'd take it. Anything to see Jasper's eyes soften, taking every inch of her in the way he was doing right now. "I'm sorry if that was too forward. I just wanted to show you..."
"No more apologies," he said suddenly, taking her face in his hands. It was something he did often, she supposed—touching her in the simplest yet intimate way that made her feel seen and cherished at all times—she didn't hate it at all.
Not when it made her feel all sorts of ways. Alive—being one of them. She was alive and entirely accepted for exactly who and what she was. She peeked at him through thick lashes and breathed him in as Jasper gently kissed her forehead before stepping back, moving his hands down to hold hers once more, "You don't have to ask for permission to touch me, Bella. I like it when you do. It calms me to know that you're beside me. Nor do you need to be afraid to speak or express yourself. Not with me or anyone. Not anymore. Okay?"
Bella was utterly taken back by his words, by his touch and kiss that she couldn't do anything other than nod and allow that spark in her chest to ignite and cast away all the shadows that followed her.
While Jasper drove her back to his home, she allowed herself to process what Jasper had said moments ago and smiled, thankful to have him in her life more than anything else.
You don't have to ask for permission to touch me...
Looks like we know where Charlie stands with Jasper, for now, lol
Bella and Jasper melt my heart. I love the pace their relationship is going at right now.
As always, thanks for reading x
