Jasper was losing his mind.
He paced Bella's room, fighting the roaring that began in his mind. In his dead heart which seemed to fight his immortality, wanting to pulse and pound through his chest.
He also didn't want to think about how he was back in her room, seeing all the little things that have a bit of Bella in everything.
From her copy of Wuthering Heights on the nightstand to her yellow raincoat hanging off one of the hooks. Not to mention the scent of strawberries and lavender filing ever inch of this house. It was all so Bella.
His lips feel as though they've been burned by fire even as he placed his fingers over them, only to find they're as cold as ice.
This was Bella's fire coursing through him.
Being so close to her should have made him lose it—crave her blood more than anything else. And yet...it was her he craved, in every sense of the word.
"Fuck," he cursed under his breath, running a hand over his face.
He'd kissed her, felt her pressed against him. Closer than he'd ever allowed himself to get to her. And it felt amazing. Not to mention she'd been practically naked with only a towel to cover her up.
Touching her like that with such intimacy was unlike anything he's ever felt for another before. What he wouldn't give to kiss her fully. To kiss her full lips and taste her.
Jasper nearly groaned in frustration with himself as he sat on the edge of her bed. He was a man of few words and somehow he wanted to tell her exactly how he felt in the moment.
Pour all of himself into this girl, make her his because he was hers in every way.
He knew it the moment he found her in that forest. Knew it the day he knelt in front of her in this very room and brought her back from the darkness of her mind.
It was harder to admit to himself what it all meant. What she meant to him. Bella's friendship meant the world to him, he knew that. The way they grew closer every day was more than he could have asked for. But having more with her? Telling her how he felt and knowing she could reciprocate?
Because she felt something for him, that much he was sure of after tonight.
The sound of the bathroom door opening brought him out of his reverie. Jasper straightened, looking to find her padding into the bedroom only to stop short as soon as she saw him sitting on the bed. He rose swiftly, "How're you feeling?"
Bella looked down at her hands, answering timidly as she said, "Better. Thanks."
She opted to wear a grey tank top and blue plaid pajama pants that pooled around her ankles. Jasper held his breath as he watched the blood rise to her cheeks once more, embarrassed all over again.
He smiled, "Glad to hear it. Did you need anything before going to bed? I'm heading down anyway."
That caught her attention. Bella tensed as she looked up, unable to hide the worry on her face, try as she might, "You're...leaving?"
"I'll be outside, like last time. I'm not going anywhere I promise."
"N-no, I mean..." she cleared her throat as she moved further into the room, setting her cellphone down on the nightstand. "You want to be outside?" Jasper frowned, but she clarified, "You can stay, i-if you want I mean. You don't have to stay outside."
Jasper felt the tendrils of emotion surging forward then. A plea. A wariness that was coated in hope.
"Ah," he realized what she was trying to say and smiled, "do you want me to stay, Bella?"
"Only if you want to," she stammered, her face growing pink with every word.
Jasper closed what little space remained between them, a thrill filling his senses as she stiffened but didn't step back. Didn't even seem wary of him.
If anything she was nervous and at the same time, very curious. He kept his hands in the pockets of his jeans if only to keep him from reaching out and touching her.
He slowly leaned down until he whispered in her ear, "Do you want me to stay?"
"If you want—"
"Say it," he cut in. His voice was deep and husky, laced with a gentle challenge. "Tell me what you want right now and I'll give it to you, Bella. You know you don't have to hide from me. Not from me."
He could hear her heart pounding in her chest as it rose and fell.
"Do you want me to stay?" Jasper caught her gaze as she cast him a sidelong glance, a strand of her hair brushing her cheek as she shifted. He watched as her throat bobbed, swallowing down the ball of nerves before her lips parted.
"Stay, Jasper. Here with me."
Jasper smiled as he leaned back, "Was that so hard to admit?"
She released a scoff mixed with an incredulous laugh before pushing him, "Jerk. Stop teasing me."
"You love it," Nudging her towards the bed, he walked around and took a seat on the loveseat that remained nestled by the windows that looked out towards the front yard.
He had to focus on her scent and not the ghost of a reminder that his so called brother's presence somehow seemed to remain, taunting him with what he once had with Bella. What he threw away so easily.
Jasper pushed those thoughts away and instead focused on his mate, "Get some sleep, darlin'. I'll be right here." As Bella laid on her side, nestling under the comfort of the covers, she stared at his silhouette with a curious expression. As if entranced by him when it was the other way around.
Jasper could see her brown eyes perfectly in the dim light staring at him as he leaned back and rested his head against the cushion of the chair.
"Good night, Jasper."
"Good night, Bella," he smiled as he closed his eyes and focused on the even sound of her heartbeat. A song to his own quiet soul.
"Jasper?"
"Yes?"
"Thank you."
There were no words to convey how being with her—during the good or the bad times—was the farthest thing from a favor or because he was being a "good guy". No, he was being so incredibly selfish right now. Because there was no other place in this retched world he'd rather be.
So he did what he knew best. He focused on his gift, zeroing in on his emotions—on what Bella meant to him—before sending them her way. Lulling her to sleep while also putting her worries to bed. Her heart tripped over itself as if she were surprised by what he'd just conveyed, but that was the point.
Despite the scare and all the emotions roiling around inside her head, Bella slept soundly. She'd woken up more relaxed and rested than she ever remembered feeling.
Just as he'd promised, Jasper had stayed with her all night.
Finding him sitting in the loveseat with his eyes closed and a soft expression on his usually stoic face left her speechless, completely taken by his beauty and the untamable side of his true nature.
They hadn't spoken much while she got ready for school but she didn't feel there was a need to when they were both so comfortable with each other.
Charlie was still fast asleep when they left so Bella left a note on the counter to let him know she was going to school—with Jasper as he was picking her up.
She knew her father would be more than ready to inquire about that little fact however, she found she looked forward to it.
The day was uneventful and Bella was thankful for that, even feeling lighter as she walked down the hall with Alice and Angela.
The same couldn't be said about gym, however, there were no dodgeballs thrown in her face so that was a win in her book.
The sun was setting on the horizon beyond the trees by the time school was dismissed. With the weather changing constantly, it wasn't a surprise it appeared to be later than it actually was.
She stared at her reflection in the puddles as she walked across the parking lot, heading towards Jasper's car. She was admiring the warm streaks of bright orange and pinks that stretched across the sky when she noticed Jasper leaning against the car.
"You know sometime I will have to drive to school on my own," Bella murmured as she stepped up beside him. He smiled as though to say that was never going to happen before taking her backpack and popping it in the backseat.
"You can but I have the suspicion you'd miss our little car rides. I know I would," he said as he turned back around to face her.
Bella almost instantly felt her face turn the same shade as the sky. Her hands started fidgeting, "You would huh?"
"Yes, unless it wasn't absolutely clear Bella, I enjoy being with you. Look forward to it in fact."
"And...why is that?" She asked beneath hooded lashes, feeling incredibly nervous.
Jasper leaned closer, close enough his cool fingers brushed across her hand, making her breath hitch as they looked down towards their hands. She watched as his long fingers wrapped around her palm until her hand closed around his.
She shuddered when he spoke, voice deep and husky, "You know why, darlin'."
They were so close to each other now. So close she could almost taste the scent of sweet spices and rain off him.
Bella looked into his black eyes, his unwavering gaze scorching her from the inside out. Her stomach clenched as his thumb kept rubbing soothing circles on her skin.
"Do I?" She asked breathlessly.
Jasper leaned closer until one of his forearms rested against the car, bringing him dangerously close to her lips as he rested his forehead against hers. "Trust me, you do," he drawled. Bella glanced to those plump lips as he said, "I told you before. That I can feel you. Sense the way you respond to me, emotionally...and physically. And I love every minute of it, because it's how I feel too."
Bella's free hand slid up Jasper's broad chest until it rested on his shoulder. She bit her lip and Jasper's gaze suddenly darkened with hunger—for her.
Tears invaded her eyes as an overwhelming feeling surfaced. "How can you...I'm so broken, Jazz. So tainted," she murmured. However, she believed that, truly thought those things about herself. No one was to blame for how she felt or perceived herself, it was all on her.
Jasper grew solemn, "You are anything but tainted in my eyes, Isabella. I know that it'll take time for you to see it, but know that I have no intention of ever turning my back on you no matter how hard things may get for us." He gently wiped away a single tear that slipped down her cheek.
She noticed the way he trapped her between the car. She noticed everything about him in this moment. From his towering height and muscles, to the way the soft curls of his hair rested against his jawline. And how he kept his right side completely open. Giving her the option to break away if she wanted to.
Jasper didn't make her feel insecure or frightened. Not in the slightest, and it did things to her. Sweet, wonderful things.
"Jasper." She whispered, her breath and his intermingling amidst the cold air outside. "I...really like you, but what if—"
"You don't truly understand what you make me feel," he admitted and she frowned, but before she could ask him what he meant, Jasper said, "But that's okay. I'm a patient man, Bella. I've waited a lifetime for you, I can wait a few more weeks, months. Whatever you need. Until you can truly accept what I'm willing to give you."
Her heart soared. Her hands tugged on his shoulders, unsure if she wanted him closer or to push him away. He did the former when she didn't resist him. Leaning in slowly until his chest was against hers. His lips a breath away from her own.
Bella averted her eyes from his unyielding ones, face flushed and heart pounding in her chest as she looked around to make sure no one could see what was happening. What they were about to do. Luckily most of the cars in the lot were gone and Jasper had parked by the wall and the stairs which students rarely used.
Jasper could hear and feel it all, grinning when he realized what she was doing.
His hand which cupped her cheek moved to the back of her nape, "Just tell me to stop if you don't want this. Tell me and I'll do as you say. Always."
Bella's breath caught in her lungs. After Edward, she thought she'd fear another man's touch. Loathe it even. But not with Jasper. Never with him. No, she craved his touch so much it was all she could think about when they were together.
"I don't...want you to stop." She finally admitted.
Jasper's hand tugged her a little closer then, wrapping his arm around her waist as he leaned further down until their eyes were level. His hand cupped her cheek gently, caressing her fair skin.
"Thank fuck." He murmured hoarsely.
Bella's eyes fluttered closed as she let him pull her forward, his lips barely grazing her own and ignoring a fire deep within herself that she hadn't expected to feel. Bella gasped as a low rumble of satisfaction resonated through Jasper's chest.
A little further and the teasing way his lips brushed across hers would become a real kiss. A kiss she had no doubt in her mind she'd cherish till the end of her days.
"Bella," he whispered her name as if he were pleading, saying a prayer.
And then he kissed her, pressing against her soft lips gently as if scared to hurt her. It was quick at first, pulling back to look at her and make sure she was okay with this still. Caution warring with need reflected in his eyes. When she merely stared up at him through hooded lashes, he kissed her again.
Another soft peck, a slow teasing kiss of her bottom lip that made Bella's toes curl in her shoes.
Bella became highly aware of everything. The sound of her hands running over Jasper's chest, smoothing over the fabric of his jacket. His hands touching her, molding her to him. Her heart beating rapidly which might very well jump out of her chest.
She gasped as his teeth gently bit down on her flesh. His hands gripped the fabric of her jacket, pulling her closer while battling with the feral need to claim her completely.
Bella whimpered as she parted her lips for him, letting him slip his tongue past them and into her sweet mouth. Jasper groaned as she went up on her tiptoes to get even closer and he wrapped his arms around her waist to keep her there.
Their tongues danced together as Bella sighed into the heated kiss. As if she'd done it a hundred times before. Her fingers sank into his hair and tugged, eliciting a soft growl from him.
For the first time in a long time, Jasper felt like a teenager experiencing a first kiss for the first time. Experiencing pure bliss and disbelief that this was happening. Bella mirrored the same sentiment only her heart was just about ready to combust as he pressed her against the door of his car and ravaged her mouth with hungry kisses.
They only pulled away when Bella finally needed to break for air. The both panted as they stared at one another, dizzy from the haze of lust between them. Then they laughed softly, pressing their foreheads together while still holding into each other.
Bella decided then and there that if this was a dream she would do anything to stay in this very moment for a long time.
"You have no idea how long I've been wanting to do that," Jasper murmured as he pecked her lips once more, smiling as he did. "You're going to be the death of me, I know it."
"Funny, I think you just brought me back to life," Bella teased as she squeezed his shoulders to pull him back in, wanting nothing more than to kiss him again.
His thumb pressed down on her bottom lip, parting her mouth before teasing her with his tongue once more only this time it was something slow and incredibly enticing. The best damned feeling in the world as far as she was concerned.
When they parted again, she knew Jasper wasn't nearly finished having his way with her, wanting to kiss her until her lips were swollen and a permanent smile was etched across them.
"Jasper."
They both froze, tensing as Alice's voice cut in and she walked around the car. Bella could have sworn Jasper growled in annoyance as he pulled back and slowly stepped away from her, no longer feeling affectionate around a member of his family. But not because he didn't want to be close to her since his hand moved down to hold hers, tucking her close to his side.
Bella's face was flame red as she looked at Alice's soft eyes and small smile when she appeared. But it was short lived when the pixie's usually happy demeanor went serious.
"What's the matter?" Jasper asked, sensing her tense posture immediately and whatever lingered in her emotions.
Bella's hand closed around Jasper's as Alice geared up to speak.
When she finally did, Bella felt a cold sweat seep into her bones which had nothing to do with the humid climate left behind by the rain.
Alice said, "We have to go home. It's Edward."
Bella tensed at the mention of his name, but Jasper's hand closed around hers this time, a silent comfort. He nearly spat, "What about him?"
Alice looked to Bella with lament as if knowing full well what this news was about to do to her.
"He's coming back to Forks. Tonight."
Thanks for reading!
They finally kissed and Edward's on his way back to stir things up. What could go wrong? ;)
