Hope you enjoy this chapter x
Bella's knee wouldn't stop bouncing as Emmett drove his Jeep back to Charlie's house. The entire time she couldn't stop thinking about Edward's words. About everything he'd said...about Jasper and her. But mainly the fear that something might have happened to Charlie was taking precedence. All jumbled up in her head, circling around like sharks waiting to snap their vicious teeth at her if she let them get too close. There was just so much.
Glancing ahead of her, to the passenger seat where Jasper sat in his own silence, Bella grew increasingly anxious. Biting her lip as she stared at Jasper's reflection in the side mirror, his eyes seeming far away. Contemplative.
Mate.
Jasper was Bella's mate...
And he hadn't told her. In all honesty, it didn't upset her so much as confuse the hell out of her. More so when she thought about what Edward had said to Jasper.
"Managed to fool her into being with you when she has no choice whatsoever. Did he tell you the truth yet about why you can't seem to be apart?"
Bella felt sick to her stomach.
Fool me? Jasper wouldn't do that...
That Edward could play such games and that he played with Jasper's emotions as well until he finally exploded—it had been something out of a nightmare.
That hadn't been the Edward she'd known. The good Edward that would have never hurt his family or her. She didn't know who this new vampire was who wore the face of the man she thought she could trust.
Back at the house, it was a miracle Jasper hadn't ripped Edward's head clean off. She knew he hadn't been aware that he'd allowed his gift to sweep across the entire room—sharing all his rage and deadly intent. Bella knew Jasper would have done it too had it not been for her stepping in to break him out of his fury.
Somehow, he'd listened and calmed significantly, long enough for him to slide into the usual calm he always maintained.
It just didn't make any sense. And how could it? When she didn't know anything about 'mates' nor what it meant to vampires. She knew the way the Cullens loved their respective partners was unlike anything she's ever see before. Knew there was a sort of eternal devotion and love Bella could only imagine. Never thinking she'd experience such a love, especially after realizing Edward never truly loved her to begin with...
Which is why she was so confused.
How was it possible that she and Jasper were mates and she never knew it? Never felt—
That's not true, a little voice in her head cut in. Denying that she hadn't felt the need to be with Jasper at all times. As if an invisible thread wasn't tied between them, pulling them closer until they had no choice but to face each other. Bound together by more than attraction or interest.
Of course she felt something for Jasper—felt it the day they'd met when Edward brought her to the house. It wasn't an immediate attraction so much as it was genuine understanding and a calm that didn't feel entirely like her own, as if Jasper had known from the first time he laid eyes on her that she was in need of calm more than anything. Bella was a lot of things, but calm had never been in her array of emotions. Not when she was constantly an anxious wreck, had been ever since she could remember.
Now that they'd taken things to the next level, she couldn't deny that her crush for the man developed into an affection she couldn't shake. Not that she wanted to shake away any of the things Jasper made her feel.
"It isn't hard fooling you..."
She knew she trusted Jasper—she trusted him more than anyone. Knew not only through her own building affection towards him but from his own as well. What they had...it was different, felt different.
Without her wanting to tears stung the back of her eyes.
Hearing all the things Edward thought about her? What he truly felt for her? It hurt more than she'd liked to admit. Not because she still felt anything other than fear and wary towards him now, he'd made sure of that. But because that was Edward—her first real taste of love or what could have been, her closest friend and protector. Now he was no better than James in a way, wasn't he? She rubbed her arms as a shiver ran down her spine, remembering the way he'd grabbed her. How having him so close for the first time since he'd hurt her in the forest made her spiral into all those dark thoughts.
A cold hand gently landed on her arm and Bella looked towards Rosalie, finding her amber eyes staring right back.
"He isn't right." She said, making the boys tense in the front, acutely aware of what she had meant. Bella could see Jasper's dark eyes glance into the rear view mirror, watching her with the same unreadable expression on his chiseled face. A perfect sculpture, stoic and tragically beautiful.
Bella looked into Rosalie's eyes for a long time, knowing she was being sincere.
"It doesn't change that he thought all those things about me. That he...did what he did. Didn't even seem to care. And..." Bella murmured, "He knew all along."
They all knew what she meant. It was impossible to ignore. The secret not only Edward had been keeping, but Jasper too. Did everyone know they were mates? Based on their reactions, Bella could bet anything that the Cullens also knew.
And she didn't know what to make of it.
Rosalie nodded, her hand slowly slipping off her arm while looking at her with those unwavering eyes of hers. The eyes that had often revered Bella with disdain now held compassion. It was strange how quickly people can change, if this entire situation with Edward had taught her anything it was that very fact.
"I just need to make sure my dad's okay," She murmured before turning back to stare out the window, feeling lost and so very desperate to get to Charlie before thinking about anything else.
Emmett's Jeep came to a halt beside the street and in an instant Bella had already unbuckled her seatbelt and was pushing the door open. She'd taken two steps towards the house when Jasper's hand came down on her shoulder. Bella looked towards him questioningly but he merely looked ahead, scanning. Listening with his keen hearing. A second later he nodded, "He's home."
"We'll look around, just in case..." Emmett said but Bella was already taking off before she could hear the rest. They were most likely going to look for Edward anyway. If he'd been around Charlie, then it was better to be safe than sorry.
Charging up the stairs of their front porch Bella practically shoved the door open and didn't hesitate to call out to Charlie, "Dad?"
A startled—"Yeah?"—reached her seconds before hearing a loud thunk followed by an even louder curse, "God damnit!"
Bella hurried into the kitchen only to find her father on the floor, half of his torso under the sink—tool box next to his legs.
He sat up, rubbing his forehead with a wince as he looked up to find Bella standing by the island, missing that she was out of breath and paler than usual as he groused, "The dang sink was clogged. Had to get in there and see what was up. Last time I dump coffee grounds down the drain, that's for damned sure."
Bella didn't realize how worried she'd been for Charlie's safety until she was standing here, watching him sitting on the floor surrounded by tools and wearing the same dark green flannel he loved to wear at home. She sagged against the counter with relief.
For what felt like the first time, Bella took in every little detail about her father. Noticing the slight color of grey in his dark hair, the crows feet around his eyes, and the gruff sound of his voice as he prattled on about the sink. Little things she couldn't imagine Charlie not having. Things about him she couldn't imagine not seeing or hearing anymore.
He's safe. Edward didn't hurt him. He's safe.
Before she knew what she was doing, Bella walked around the island and sank onto her knees beside Charlie, throwing her trembling arms around his shoulders and hugging him tight.
Charlie let out a startled cough, clearly taken back by his daughter's sudden show of affection before he awkwardly patted her back. She would have laughed at that, had the tears not been rolling down her cheeks. Sensing her distress, Charlie wrapped his arms around her shoulders and held her a long while. When he finally spoke, it was in a wary tone, "You okay, kiddo?"
She'd been so scared that she wouldn't find him like this but...dead or missing. Tortured by Edward's cruel game he seemed to be playing with her.
And she would have been powerless to stop it.
A useless human girl incapable of protecting herself or the ones she loved. That only made her angry and so unbelievably sad.
Forcing herself to gather herself, Bella finally released her father from her tight, bone crushing embrace and saw the sheer worry on his face.
She wished she could tell him everything, now more than ever. If only to feel less alone than she did today of all days which was ridiculous because she knew nothing had truly changed between her and Jasper. The Cullens were still here, protecting her. And yet, if felt as if everything had changed within the blink of an eye. Her own eyes opened up to a world she'd been too blind to see.
As much as it pained her, Bella knew she had to shove her selfishness aside and do what she had to—she protected her father from the truth that could kill him.
Choosing to spare her father with news of Edward's return, she said despite her trembling voice, "I just...it's been a long day. I just needed a hug."
"Oh," he said, blinking. "You freaked me out for a second there, kid. I thought something bad happened. Everything okay?"
Footsteps approached from behind her and Bella knew before she noticed Charlie tense, that it was Jasper. Looking over her shoulder, she saw him.
"Ah, I...Hello, Jasper. Didn't see you there," her father grumbled as he stood, Bella following suit.
When she turned and faced him, she found Jasper's onyx eyes staring into hers, worry laced in that gaze that left her aching for his nearness. His beauty and utter immortality standing out in her utterly mundane home.
Her heart seemed to sing at the mere sight of him, as if every inch of her wanted—no, needed—to go to him.
How much of that feeling was her own? How much was the bond linking them because they were mates?
It didn't change how she felt for him, if anything it cast a wave of knee buckling relief through her body and soul. Knowing that finally, she had an answer as to why she always seemed to gravitate towards him. This selfless, honest man that cares for her so deeply that Bella never knew such a thing existed.
"I just came to make sure you were okay," Jasper looked at her again, his lips parting to say...something to her.
But before he or Bella could say another word, Charlie asked, "I was just about to fire up the grill in the back. Did you want to stay for dinner?"
Bella blinked, taken back by her fathers invitation. His usual scowl or gruff expression whenever Edward or any boy had been around her was nowhere to be seen. Instead a...hopeful look entered his eyes.
He really likes Jasper being around me, doesn't he?
That's when she realized.
Even Charlie seemed to know on some level that Jasper was good. That he was the best thing that could have ever happened to her. Her father of all people accepted him for who he was, wholeheartedly. Because Jasper had healed all the broken pieces of her soul and then some.
No matter what Jasper did or didn't do, no matter what he failed to tell her, it was all to protect her. Of that she had no doubt in her mind, and she felt her affection for him grow beyond words. A powerful, potent feeling that coursed throughout her entire being.
Jasper, sensing her emotions flood his entire being, whipped his head to meet the longing gaze she gave him as Charlie turned to clean up the mess he'd made in the kitchen without noticing the world disappear between the two.
Jasper seemed to visibly swallow as he stepped forward and then hesitated, "Thank you for the offer, Chief Swan but I just remembered there's something important I had to do."
"Another time then, but I'll hold you to it," Charlie chuckled, making Jasper and Bella smile at the man despite their obvious tension.
Jasper looked to her for a split second, a gentle wave of calm flooding her mind to convey that he wasn't angry or frustrated with her. It made her realize how scared she was if losing him, driving him away. That was the last thing she wanted. Bella watched Jasper turn on his heel and disappear through the door, leaving her with regret and knee buckling longing roiling inside her.
After helping her father set up everything for the grill, she left him to get started on the burgers he'd already prepared long before she'd arrived. She knew he couldn't cook an egg to save his life but the grill was an entirely different scenario.
With a sigh, she headed back upstairs and longed for sleep now more than ever. But it probably would never come, seeing as Edward was back and Jasper wasn't here to keep an eye on her...to keep the nightmares away.
Opening the door to her bedroom, Bella stopped short as she looked up.
With a barely audible gasp, Bella felt her cheeks flush as tears pricked the back of her eyes while taking in who was in her room.
Jasper stood beside the window, his eyes holding so much meaning behind them as he tensed, facing her fully.
"Jasper..."
She began but stopped when he rushed, "If you want me to leave, I will. Just say the word. But I...I had to try. I had to see you and know that your were okay—that we are okay."
Bella felt her hand slip off the doorknob as she stepped into her room utterly entranced by him, taken back by his willingness to try and talk to her. Something Edward would have never done. Yet another thing that made her realize how...wrong their relationship had been in the first place. So very wrong.
She stared at his disheveled hair as if he'd been running his hand through the strands in his apparent pondering. The worry was written all over his face for once. Gone was the mask of the unreadable soldier she'd met so long ago. Now there stood a man, bearing his soul to her.
The only light between them was the sliver of moonlight that spilled in through the windows, casting shadows across her and Jasper's faces as Bella slowly closed her door behind her. Crossing the distance between them, her heart thundered in her chest. Knowing that he could hear it did little to calm her as he watched her intently. His hands closed at his sides, fighting off the urge to reach for her. If only he knew that was exactly what she wanted.
Her voice wavered as she looked into his dark eyes, "Don't go. Stay with me? Please..."
Everything within Jasper seemed to immediately deflate, his tense posture visibly relaxed as he took in her words.
His hand reached out towards her then, gently brushing away the tear that slipped down her cheek, "Bella..." her name sounded like a balm to his aching heart as he said it, voice as shaken as she felt. His whispering her name seeming like a secret they shared in the dark, a sweet and impossible secret she never knew could be between them.
Bella launched herself then, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and pulling him into her. Jasper held her close as she buried her face in his broad chest, never knowing how much she could miss his earthy spiced scent until now. They hadn't been apart at all and yet, she'd missed him. Missed his touch and kind words, the security he'd built up within her. Him.
"I'm sorry," she murmured, her hands clutching the collar of his shirt as if he would push her away at any moment, "I shouldn't have gotten angry. I'm sorry..."
Jasper groaned as if her apology physically pained him. His hand cupped the back of her neck as he molded his body to hers, holding her tightly, "No, baby. Don't say that. I'm the one who should apologize. I should have told you sooner, you deserved to know just as much as I did."
"Why didn't you?" She asked, not accusing him but merely wanting to know as she leaned back and stared up at him. "You've known all this time? Even when I was with—"
"No," He said firmly, cupping her face as he looked into her eyes with a sense of urgency shining in those orbs. "God, I didn't know. I thought you and Edward...I thought you were his mate. Because he asked me to stay away from you, for your safety or at least that's what he made me believe, I couldn't ever know for sure why I felt this need to be near you all the time. Why I craved every bit of your emotions and listened so intently to your heart beating. Why you consumed every ounce of my existence. I suspect that's why it never occurred to me that...that I was yours. As you were mine."
Tears sprang in her vision, but she didn't look away from him, not daring to. His thumbs pressed into her soft skin, his hands encasing her face as he rested his forehead against hers.
"For the longest time I thought I was betraying Edward's trust for thinking about you the way I did. I hated myself for feeling as if I had no control over how I felt, and damn it I shouldn't have knowing what I do now. I was a fool to never suspect it. I'd never believed having a mate was possible for the likes of me. I'd been a monster for so long before my family took me in, Bella. So unworthy of anything good that could come from it. I saw no need for such a thing."
"And now?" She bit her lip.
Jasper looked at her, his voice hoarse as he said, "Now I can't imagine a world without you in it. My mate. My Bella. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. Your kindness heals my own broken, messed up world. The sound of your heart racing sings to me. The acceptance you give to others is unlike any I have ever felt and the fact that you've done so with my family? You'll never know what that meant to me. What it still means despite everything you've been through. You are the single most gratifying gift I could have ever been given."
Bella shut her eyes, overwhelmed by his confession while feeling incredibly loved, "I never knew. Edward said you were with Alice and—I thought he and I were meant to be. He'd been so insistent on it. So convincing. I've been so stupid."
"We've both been blinded by circumstances. But it's not important anymore," he said as he waited for her to look at him again. He forced out the words despite the ball of emotion gathering in his throat, "What matters is what we want, Bella. Us—not Edward or our families. What matters is how we choose to live with what we've been given, finally. And I want to live it with you, always."
More tears rolled down her cheeks as she wrapped her arms around him, "I wish we could have had that time together, before everything happened. Before he...but it's too late. I'm tainted..."
Jasper took a step forward, "No, Bella. You're the furthest thing from it. God. I wish I could kill him for what he did to you. I wish I could take it all back, but I can't." His eyes seemed to fill with silver, venom tears he'd never shed. "All I can give you is my love, if you're willing to accept it and hope that's enough to heal what he tried to break. And failed to do because you're here with me now, darlin'. You're here. I'm here. And I...I love you. I'm in love with you, Bella."
Her heart soared and dipped all at once. An incredible wave of love swept through her, pushing her drowning heart up to the surface. A warm ray of sunshine finally finding her after all this time.
Love.
Jasper loved her.
A whimper escaped her practically launched herself into his arms, letting his hands guide her face up to meet his shining eyes that could not be more beautiful than they were right now. Hiding nothing from her.
"Oh Jasper," Bella breathed against his lips, barely grazing them as he bent lower to meet her the rest of the way, "I want every part of you. Of course I do! You mean so much to me, more than I think any emotion could ever convey. You're my best friend, Jasper. My savior, even from myself. My...mate. My love. I'm yours. Forever, Jasper. If you truly want that, I'll give you all my forevers and more. Until time no longer exists in this world."
"Darlin'," Jasper exhaled, a breathless sound that was both a laugh and a sob, "Can I kiss you? I need to kiss you—"
Before he could finish that sentence, Bella kissed him with all the passion she thought would make her heart implode. Suddenly the world went quiet all around them, and everything melted away by the shear heat resonating between their hearts.
Chests pressing against each other, lips crashing and tongues searching, Bella felt Jasper's hands trail down her waist and under her thighs before picking her up effortlessly. Nothing else mattered. Only his touches and her heart pounding. Two souls becoming one.
Suddenly she was laying in the middle of her bed, gently settled onto the comforter that encased her. Breathless, she stared up at him through hooded lashes. He watched her, mesmerized by her beauty and all he felt in this moment. Jasper hovered above her, his hands splaying on either side of her head, making his arms seem to strain under the sheer power to keep from putting all his body weight on top of her.
He stared into her eyes for a long moment before he kissed her back fervently once more, his tongue thrusting into her mouth as she moaned, granting him access. Her hands found his face once more, wrapping her arms around his shoulders until he relented and finally leaned further down.
Bella parted her legs to accommodate for him, letting him settle his lower half over hers.
Her fingers ran through his honey-blonde locks, making the already ruffled strands even more of a mess.
His hips seemed to involuntarily press against her own, letting her feel exactly how much he wants her. Eliciting another soft gasp from her lips as Jasper kissed along her neck, nipping the soft flesh there. His hands explored the rest of her, slipping over her shoulders and down, lightly caressing her breasts in passing.
"Jasper..." she moaned as his tongue swept out to soothe the skin he'd gently tortured with his teeth.
It wouldn't take much to leave a mark there, she knew, but she didn't care. Now more than ever she wanted him to claim her. To never let anyone else take her away from him, from what they shared.
Jasper whispered into her ear before kissing the hollow behind it, making her shudder with pleasure, "You taste like what I imagine heaven is like. Sweet and perfect. You'll never understand how much I've craved you, Bella. Every. Inch. Of. You," He said in between kissing her lips, cheeks, and collarbone as his hands grew bolder, caressing her and squeezing her breasts and waist. She wasn't afraid of his touch. Not even as they did such an intimate act. Not when he was so gentle with her, so honest and true.
She now knew that this is what it was supposed to feel like, and she almost started crying again.
Feeling an overwhelming coiling warmth in her stomach, Bella knew she was more aroused than she'd ever been. Feeling Jasper's hard length rock against her made wetness gather between her thighs.
His seductive words weren't any help either.
"Fuck," Jasper growled as she nipped his bottom lip, driving him crazy with want as her hands slipped beneath his shirt, his icy skin warmed by her seeking palms. Jasper's hands went to her hips just below the hem of her shirt that had ridden up. His cold touch making her gasp as her core made contact with him again, rocking into him as he moved like an undulating wave—making him hiss against her lips.
In the dark, the sound of rain falling outside joined their passionate, nearly silent pants and kisses.
She whispered his name blissfully as he groaned against her neck, trying to compose the desire that was roiling within him. A raging tempest pushing and pulling him towards Bella.
"We should stop," he finally said as Bella moved to kiss his jaw, her fingers playing with the hair on the nape of his neck, tugging every so often. When she didn't seem to listen, he pulled back and rested his forehead against hers, breathing as heavily as she was, "I don't want to push you for more than you're ready to give."
"Push me? You'd never do that, Jasper." She said without a doubt as she reached up to cup his cheek, "You would never hurt me."
Though it wasn't a question, Jasper wasted no time in answering, "Never."
She smiled softly as he pressed his cheek further into her warm palm, sighing contentedly.
"I wouldn't ever do that," he confirmed, eyes opening as the high from their intense reunion seemed to go back to just below the surface. "But I don't think it's wise we continue anything more with Charlie downstairs. I'd like to actually win him over if we tell him what we are to each other eventually, and if he finds us like this, I'm sure the only thing I'll be getting is shot at."
Bella's face warmed as she moved to sit, Jasper helping her up, however not letting her go just yet. His arms were wrapped around her waist as she settled onto his lap, "You really want that? To tell him?"
"Bella I've wanted to tell everyone in Forks that we're together," she chuckled at that and he smiled, kissing her lips once more. "But only if you're ready."
"I am, Jasper. I have no doubt in my mind about that."
This time Jasper couldn't resist kissing her. It wasn't tender or slow as he normally would have kissed her. This kiss was full of passion and want, desperate and unforgiving as his lips molded to hers. His tongue explored her mouth, pressing and caressing her tongue until she needed to break away to breathe. Jasper watched her then, cheeks flushed and lips swollen. The warmth blooming from within her telling him just how much she wanted—needed—him.
His long fingers brushed her hair aside as he said, "I love you."
Never have three words come so naturally to her, invoking pure joy as she smiled, "I love you too."
When Charlie called her down for dinner, it was an effort to leave Jasper's side but he'd reassured her he wasn't going anywhere. Now more than ever. With that Bella knew he'd be waiting right here for her until she returned.
Her protector.
Her best friend.
Her love.
