Before Weirdmageddon…
In the Nightmare realm, Bill Cipher sat upon a throne, looking laxly at an orb which showed him different humans flashing on it. He had to be careful about who is trying to make deal with now that Sixer put a Unicorn shield around the Shack and warned the Pines and honorary Pines, Soos and Wendy, about him. Also, because he has to trick his next victim into giving him the rift outside of the protection shield as even possessing some gullible fool won't help him to pass over it. Though this doesn't make the elimination process any less boring. That edgy fleshy named Robbie? Nah, not into some stupid teenage drama story. Lady Suzan? He admits it would be hilarious to use Stan's ex to haunt him and she is a cat person so that's a plus. Preston? He is even more uptight than his ancestors, and takes the fun out of making deals with contract-businessman-type capitalism. Gideon? He is still in prison, due to that nut-case of a president making it legal in Gravity Falls for criminal juniors to be imprisoned in a real prison instead of some mental hospital or junior care, so there needs much work in freeing him; and, even then, he doubts it wouldn't end into total failure with a classic villain 'I got ya the next time!' excuse like some stupid, poorly made cartoon - so no.
"Hey, boss? Something bothering you?" Inquired Kryptos, who is one of the few diagrams and the closest thing Bill has to a close friend in his twisted mind, with other creatures of the Nightmare realm wondering as well.
"So many options…so few entertaining choices…I mean, I can probably just fool some warlord into destroying the Pines with one deadly bomb and fool him into breaking the rift and ding ding! A whole dimension to party on instead of this dump!" he dramatically posed till he fell back on his throne "But where is the fun in that? Where is the tragedy? The irony? The grand comedy?" he said dejectedly.
"Hey boss, I'm sure you would fool those meaty into letting us in, in the most hilarious way possible." Eight Ball who had 8 balls for eyes tried to assure him.
"But boss, why did you never go for the Foundation or any other of those secret organizations humans seem to have a lot of? They seem much more fun to play with." Pyronica, the pink one-eyed fire demon, questioned.
Mentioning those sent Bill into a trance.
Serpent's Hand…
"YOU ARE NOT WELCOMED HERE!"
Bill is sent flying away by a roaring giant snake out of the Wanderer's Library.
"You will regret suspending my Library card, you big overgrown serpent alft!"- he fists his right hand up -"You try learning how to make new tricks by frauding a few idiots to let you in their book collection, and you get targeted by the hissy fit manager, all I did was pranking a few mortals in committing mass suicide…" he mumbled as he went away from the biggest library in the known multiverse owned by the Serpent and her followers, the triangle overestimated the Serpent's Hand's generosity in letting all things unusual in when he tried being his manipulative and callous self.
Dr. Wondertainment…
Inside the mindscape was the most colorful and yet tripping mind the Dream Demon has ever entered.
"What is this!? What is That!? What are those!?!?" Completely mesmerized and astonished, he looked at the keep changing and shifting world of the mindscape of the supposed owner of an anomalous company that sells anomalous toys (though their marketing and safety hazard is questionable at times).
Horizon Initiative…
The man whose body is puppeteered by Cipher is in a cathedral locked in chains on top of an altar with a zealous priest near him with a dagger in a grand speech in fevered zeal.
"By the power of the almighty lord, I demand you, demon, to get out of this man's body! What say you now black-hearted creature of the abyss sending dominions to hellfire and ruination, and snapping sanities for your amusement! What do you say now!?" He expectedly looked at the ruler of the Nightmare realm, his eyes gleaming with heated fanaticism.
After a moment of silence, the ancient demon finally spoke "...they're nobs."
"Durgh!" The priest with a growl sent his dagger straight to the possessed chest.
Maybe trying to fool an organization made of religious anti-demonic experts wasn't a good idea.
A Neo-Sarkic sect...
"Okay seriously, what in Axolotl's frills are wrong with you freshies!" The possessed body of a Neo-Sarkic by the sentient triangle shouted as he ran from a hungry mob.
"Nom, nom! God nacho to eat!" A group of biologically enhanced cannibals follows the man who is currently piloted by Bill as he runs away from the hungry horde, as soon as they found out that one of them got possessed by an entity of god-like powers they gone rabid in trying to gain Bill's power, by eating the poor nob that got possessed, don't ask where they got the logic they are nutty cannibal cultists.
The Fifth Church…
"AGAIN! It's a triangle! The design is three-pointed, not five-pointed!" Bill shouts out with his patience running loose while he throws his hands up upon seeing the five-pointed portal design again and has to explain it for the 5th time.
"Oh! Right…we should have a five-point star on everything!" The Fiftist replied dumbishly for the 5th time.
"EEEEAAAAAAAH!" Bill screams in absolute frustration, number 5 truly is a magical number as the 5th Church is believed.
Marshall, Carter Dark…
"Soooo, do we have a deal, huncho?" Bill extended his flaming blue hand.
"Before we reach an accord, this is a set of regulations and conditions we should talk about." The woman in black and purple business suit brought a list which comically fell to the ground and continued to lose on with Bill just looking at it dumbstruck with his eye out its socket, he began to regret ever trying to make a deal with the anomalous equivalent to corporates.
Church of The Broken God…
"Your meaningless fleshy temptations do not tempt me." The cyborg couldn't be told if he or she answered with mechanical tendrils and cogs.
"A 'No' would have sufficed!" Cipher pouted at the guy or gal who worships a literal machine god and who's church involves heavily cybernetics to get closer to their god which Bill thinks as idiotically hilarious.
GOC…
"HANDS IN THE AIR!"
An entire platoon of armed soldiers pointed their weapons at a possessed woman in a lab coat with slit eyes.
"Okay, hear me out! Digital currency is the futu-
Smack!
Get smacked by the rifle's handler of one of the guards from the back of the head.
Global Occult Coalition were experts in detecting reality benders and if Bill wasn't fast enough to get out, they wouldn't hesitate to terminate him as they aren't exactly a fan of Foundation's 'containing' shtick.
SCP Foundation…
Try Number One: one of the O5-Council:...
Bill hovered over the sleepy body of one of the fabled members of O5 council that are basically the highest authority in the Foundation except for Ethics Committees and maybe the Administrator known as O5-1, said by some to be the very Founder of the SCP Foundation who was currently sleeping on his bed as the one-eyed triangle steepled his hands ready to enter his victim's mindscape with a mischievous eye and his hands together, rubbing.
"Time to spill the beans, Ozzy!" He dives only to hit an invisible shield.
"Ouch! What's this??" He looked and saw a warning sign on the mental shield which said:
O5-1:ANTI-MEMETIC DEFENSE
"Oh come on!" The golden entity whined with his hands up.
Try Number two: The Foundation's high-ranking scientists…
Clef's mind…
"Aagh! Yeeh!" Golden Cyclope who had holes around his body and suffered hundreds of shootings was busy dodging bullets from a mindscape filled with all manner of guns targeting him with one missile narrowly missed until he finally got out of the mindscape, threw a metaphorical door and slammed it.
Slam!
"Sheesh! Maybe entering someone's mind whose religion involves guns, has a hatred for reality benders and mentioning his wife and daughter wasn't a stellar idea!" He noted to himself.
Gears' mind…
"Nope! Too dull!" He didn't even give much look before deciding to not enter Doctor Gears's mind, his mind was so bland that he was sure he would have died of boredom if he stayed much inside it.
Bright's mind…
"I'm Bright!
"No, I'm Bright!"
"We're Bright!"
And behold he saw a whole mindscape of humans, animals, and every being SCP-963 ever possessed all calling themselves or each other Brights with Bill in the middle of the crowd looking one mile away like he is going to scream any moment.
Try Number Three: the SCPs…
SCP-682….
ROAR!
A big spiteful reptile roared with such volume that the air warped by it's roar.
"Moody," he replied and passed the projector away to the next.
SCP-35….
An opera-looking mask in a state of perpetual smile inside a glass container with black fluids dripping from it.
"No one likes a copycat!" Bill shouted in offense - he doesn't like it when someone steals his motif as the possessive, insidious, manipulative, silver-tongued entity from the unusual messing with mortals, so he slides to the next.
SCP-49….
A Plague Doctor who was reading some french book as he sat on a chair with another hand having a glass of wine and some classical music being played.
" 'cure this!' "The great pestilence' blah de blah the blah!,"-he mocked -"He is even a bigger stick in the mud than Sixer!" the destroyer of his own home dimension rolled his only eye and slid.
SCP-82….
An ogre of a man wearing some victorian-era French suit like Napoleon deluding himself and was currently enjoying a dinner made of human flesh near a fireplace in his cell.
"Too easy." He gave his opinion and moved to the next.
SCP-106…
"AAAAAAAAGH-!"
HAHAHAHA!
A ghoulish old man who was laughing from the agony of his latest victim who was some bald D-class male that was currently being crushed inside of a box as if some invisible hand was forcing him to bend inside the small box with the Old Man looking in delight.
"Love the creativity, but nope." the yellow triangle let out a bored sound from his nonexistent mouth.
SCP-173….
The snapper of necks, a statue looking like a peanut with graffiti made of concrete and metallic wires who would snap your neck in a blink just stood there, unmoving like a…well a statue.
"Ugh! This could take forever! Eternity aside, I'm a busy triangle!" Cipher huffed.
Try Number-Whatever: some low-level researchers or guards…
"HANDS IN THE AIR!" One of the armed guards demanded.
"Again?" A taser hits the possessed male doctor, leading Bill to convulse on the ground like a dying cockroach, and then a disgruntled Bill leaves the body and flows away.
"Screw it! I go messing with the Pines…" he grumbled with a tired expression, as expressive as you can be with just one eye.
"Eh, boss?" Kryptos asked Bill who was still there having a flashback, seeing no reaction he came closer and moved one hand of his up and down near his eye to get a reaction. A reaction which was more than he anticipated as an invisible force threw him to the nearest rock with others startled.
The black diagram got up looking dizzy "B-boss! You're awake!"
"Of course, I'm awake you 4 pointed irregular idiot! Can't you see I was having a flashback!?" he vocalized in annoyance, then suddenly he felt something, he looked around to nowhere feeling an intruder coming to his realm, the Nightmare Realm wasn't short of visitors but this was different, there was no portal or wormhole or any alternative way of travel, it was as if someone was ripping apart walls of reality and unreality to come in like a falling comet which had the effect of making Bill's realm shaking and colors reacting even more violently than usual.
With no warning, a black and red comet fell straight on one of the unlucky henchmen of Bill who was some multi-armed crab with 5 eyes, reducing into flying green gore with others except for Cipher jumping back.
"OKAY! Who decided to march in uninvited!?" the sentient triangle demanded in outrage as he got up from his throne.
From the crashed site, swelling forms of shapeless darkness and brimstone were shaping up, which gave an aura of dread that gave an unnerving feeling changing and morphing into a humanoid shape. With antlers grown from head to multiple glowing eyes on its body opening -when the form was revealed, everyone but Bill gasped as they saw who the intruder was.
It was Kharak, known as the dreaded Scarlet King, all in his glory with black chains floating around him, his charted corpse-like body meshing with armor and a cloak of raging blackness and red fire. Even the outcasts of the Nightmare realm heard of the King's bloody conquest and rampage across the multiverse, making even monstrous fiends like them shiver in fear. The only one who wasn't cowering was Bill Cipher, who glared at him.
"Well well! If it isn't tall, dark, and gloomy himself! And what's this? None of your brides or deformed inbred brats to do your own meeting as your paraplegic butt sits on your throne? Progress! I would have made myself presentable if I knew you would come, my liege," the Dream Demon taunted in his mocking tone with a fake bow, which made the henchmaniacs silently beg him to stop trying to get a raise from a being who made a bloody reputation in subjugating or destroying gods, who looked unimpressed.
The King of Darkness Below opened his razor-sharp maw - the inside of his mouth was as black as a black hole and his voice was like the chittering of a billion infinitesimal insects, swirling and constantly moving from an endless pit, echoing.
"I go where I please trickster, with even less regard for such an abysmal backwater excuse of a realm you call your own kingdom." The Scarlet Khan announced in his grim tone.
"Ouch, oh well, even I have to admit this place is a dump. So, what can I do for the discount devil?" Bill was floating around the intruder in fake generosity, like a feline playing with his prey, ready to sink its claws.
"The one realm you are targeting is my target of conquest - I will not tolerate some pretentious jester denying me. You and your wretched ilks,"- the henchmaniacs flinched when the king mentioned them and gave a brief look on them-"either find some other backwater realm to "party" to forget your frivolous existence, or you shall find why I'm titled as the Crimson Khan." The Crimson King gave the ultimatum.
"Look, I appreciate your omnicidal tendencies, admire it actually! Buuuuut…this is my side of the multiverse, I'm pretty sure a king like you who just got out of his paraplegic inducing throne would want much more grandiose conquests on his name to sink his ugly teeth into than some 3-dimensional universe filled with flat minds and with some giant baby both metaphorically and literally as it's ruler, so how about you stick to your side and I will stay in mine?" Bill told the Scarlet intruder in a feigned friendly yet snarky tone.
"I don't take demands from a petulant creature who still cries for his own burned home in the facade of joviality." The King of Red uttered plainly.
The henchmaniacs winced at the roast. That did it for Bill: "THAT'S IT! MEET YOUR MAKER!" The one-eyed demon roared and shot a power beam of blue energy at the crimson king - it was so powerful that smoke came, and when the dust settled - to his incredulity - the target that was there had not even a scratch on him.
"Pathetic." The Red Ruler replied with no hint of being impressed, and threw his floating chains, grabbing Bill and then throwing him around the floating rocks like a ragdoll while he yelped around until he was discarded to the largest rock, which was the hunch for the henchmaniacs to scatter away.
"HEY! HEARD OF A HEAD THAT SCREAMS?" The triangle demon bellowed far away. A huge head which screamed materialized and opened its mouth to eat Shormaursh Urdal whole who simply, with no struggle, swung his star-breaking sword and cut the attacker in half from the middle.
"No." Bill's opponent replied with no emotion but boredom.
"FIRST YOU COME TO MY TURF UNINVITED AND NOW YOU ANTI MY JOKES!?" The demon jester just had it with Scarlet King's nonchalant attitude toward him, like an old man disregarding a whiny teenager, so he sized up huge with his right fist even bigger and then smacked it with the force of cracking a planet's crust on him. A moment later, he felt a sharp pain as something sharp cut off his fingers.
"YAHOO!" his right hand instinctively came up, the king in red and black was still there not looking a bit shaken or damaged.
"So much power wasted on an honorless manchild." The King of Dust and Blood stated in cold disdain. He grew colossal in an instant, towering even Bill with the latter regenerating his hand.
It was a battle between gods, the ruler of the Nightmare realm against the ruler of Darkness Below, The Golden and The Scarlet, and two sides of nihilism - one stopped giving a damn about existence and does whatever he wants, whereas the other hates existence to the point that he wants to end all creation - both fighting each other like titans with the whole Nightmare Realm verberating from their clashes with its inhabitants running for their lives, each clash could crack planets into pieces, each slash could tear reality and each blast of energy was powerful as a supernova.
The Scarlet Archon swung his sword at the attacker with no hint of emotion, which only made the yellow king even madder. The yellow ruler made a couple of additional limbs with sharp knives with force falling at the crimson god which he deflected using his humongous sword with only one hitting him in the abdomen, which didn't put a mark at his body; if anything, it got reflected back adding to the chaos demon's frustration. The duo were now locked in a standstill until the trickster demon decided to pull a trick up his sleeve by shooting a powerful beam of blue energy from his only eye, which again did nothing; however, it did jolt him enough over to get free of the standstill. Subsequently, the Old god charged with his sword and floating chains with a sprint attack, the chains came first which the eldritch triangle dodged, next the sword came coming for his eye which he then made two portals one transporting the endpoint to the one behind the Sanguine King to impale him that he stopped by one chain stopping the sword in midway and used both of his clawed hands to slash his enemy which he managed to do so by making a slash at Cipher's one eye which he shrieked in pain with both of his hands shielding the damaged eye as it was being regenerated
"WHY ALWAYS THE EYE!?" He cried out.
Afterwards, the King adorned in Scarlet gave such a powerful punch from his other hand, so hard, that the space around him warped and tossed the surprised one-eye demon over with a sicking crack on Cipher's body being made and pieces of the crack flying over, as Bill was being flown away the twisted spiked chains of the Scarlet King flow over and grabbed him in the air(or whatever the Nightmare realm has for air) and then, with a powerful move he snatched him toward himself and gave a mighty kick at the brutalized demon so hard that more cracks were made with Bill went back to flow over like a ball connected to a ping pong and finally the chains stopped moving to leave the yellow cyclops trapped afloat. After this, the spikes from the chain proceed to sink inside, Bill was no stranger to pain, he possessed physical forms before and he found mortal pains to be hilarious even if he was at the receiving end, but this wasn't the pain of the body, this was far deeper and spiritual as he got paralyzed by the agony as he cried out.
"Ever the petulant, If you have realized your childish antics for chaos is nothing but your pretense of your hatred for all existence, you would have used your powers for far better causes."
"Yeah, sorry Cherry: having a whole cult of simps dedicated to me or impregnating to make baby armies is not my thing, just ask Axolotl, I already have enough creepy fan fics and arts made about me-" a sharp jolt of pain came on him and felt the chains becoming even tighter with its nails cutting further "OW! Learn to take a joke, mood killer!" Cipher sneered.
"Now I shall talk, and you shall listen. What you see is not even the full extent of me, just an aspect of mine. If I had wanted, I would have torn you to shreds with no difficulty - I only gave you courtesy because of the Law of Blood. Here is what I propose, and you will have no choice but to accept it. By all means, have your "fun", but remember, what remains of your hammering will be mine, and so will you as one of my troops to find a use for your abilities in my war against creation, even if I have to break every ounce of your will!" And just then without a warning, the red destroyer disappeared in an explosion of fire and darkness, as did the chains which held Cipher.
Bill just stared at the place where the being who had beaten him on his own turf disappeared as it no longer was there, the wounds of his body will heal but not of his scarred pride, he looked over the trail of ruination, just then he saw the now cracked orb he used before which showed a paused image of a Time Agent named Blendin Blandin, finally seeing who should be his target and then, he chuckled when an insidious idea crept in.
"Heh, hehe, haha! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Gradually his chuckles became demented laughter as he clapped his hands, forgetting for a moment that he is doomed to inevitably face the Scarlet King as his minions who came from the rubbles looked at him like he was insane, to which he would respond with a gleeful yes if they asked. Yet unknown to Bill, in the end, he will find freedom from the King when one of the members of the zodiac punches him to oblivion as he chanted Axolotl's name and screamed the name of the man with Sixer's face who vanquished him. And it will be Kharak's turn to sunder.
—--END—--
Notes:I'm currently on vacation so I may not be able to post or write another chapter for 3 or 4 weeks, but I may do some one shots so I assure you this is not a discontinuation but a hiatus.
This chapter is actually inspired by an one shot crossover with the same idea of Bill and Scarlet King facing off, unfortunately it has long since disappeared so as the writer so I can't put a source.
