Seven
I should've paid more attention in my orienteering course at the academy.
It took them some time, along with some colourful words exchanged between them, but both men were able to retrace their steps to the village. Dawn was quickly approaching; the first rays of sunlight casting a glint over the rooftops. Both came to the agreement that it would be best not to return to the streets during daylight, and decided to find an appropriate place to sleep, despite Garak's insistence that Cardassians did not require as much sleep as humans.
They had come across an abandoned cottage on their travel. In Julian's eyes, it resembled the sort of structure he would've read about in a fairytale; an old, decaying cottage with vines that some mystical witch or a wolf lived in. About half of the roof was missing, with tattered and grotty sheets fluttering over the absent section. A singular squirrel was perched on the remains of the mailbox, and quickly fled upon seeing Garak's rapid approach.
"Doctor, I do believe we've found ourselves a perfect hiding place," Garak proclaimed, beaming at Julian.
"It's hardly what I'd call hospitable," Julian smirked, "but I suppose we could bunker down for a while."
Garak waved aside a branch as he made his way through the remains of the front garden. "I must say, I find the amount of foliage on your home planet extraordinary! There seems to be an infinite amount of trees."
"Enjoy the scenery while it lasts," Julian commented, gesturing to their surroundings. "In about a hundred and fifty years, this will be nothing but a nuclear wasteland. A bomb will be dropped over Europe with four times as much explosive power as the most powerful bomb detonated in world war two."
Garak shook his head disapprovingly. "That's also another thing in abundance on this planet."
"What, nuclear weapons?!"
"No, doctor. It's your species' desire for destruction."
Julian scoffed. "I could say the same thing about your species' desire for order and surveillance."
"At least we have a purpose for our…'surveillance'," Garak snapped. "Your people certainly could have used it if it meant preventing such violence."
"Believe me, Garak," Julian stopped outside the front door, "Sometimes I'm glad we never followed the same path as Cardassia."
Garak opened his mouth to retort, but was interrupted by the front door being violently slammed. A hand shot out from the darkness within the house, grabbed Julian by the collar and pulled him inside before either of them could make a sound.
Startled, Garak pursued them into the dwelling. He squinted, eyes rapidly adjusting to the reduced lighting. Julian was sprawled on his back, eyes rapidly bouncing between Garak and his assailant. One hand was clasped over his mouth, the other pressing a knife against his throat. The assailant's knees firmly pinned Julian's arms to the ground.
The assailant growled at Garak. "Make a move and he dies!"
Not the least bit intimidated, Garak took a moment to analyse the assailant. He was a short and scrawny young man, with unkempt hair and a crazed look in his eyes. If it'd been any other situation, Garak would've laughed at how Julian was so easily subdued by this twig of a human.
From Julian's point of view, the man currently threatening to slice his trachea open was either legitimately unwell or was high as a kite on some sort of drug. He was suspecting the latter due to the man's unusually large pupils, but decided to put the matter aside once he noticed Garak's approach.
The man looked startled. "Didn't you hear me?! Move and I'll kill him!"
Bashir tried to shake his head at Garak, but was quickly deterred by the knife being pressed ever so closer to his skin. For the love of God, Garak, don't do anything stupid…
"I don't believe you'd have the nerve to commit such an act," Garak said pleasantly. "However, I must admit I am impressed by your stealth and quick manner of restraining your captive."
Julian rolled his eyes. Flattery will get you everywhere.
The assailant lowered his knife slightly. "You mean…you do this as well?"
"Of course! I've found it necessary to ensure my safety over the years. After all," Garak's eyes lit up with mischief, "you can never be too sure if a visitor to your home possess unworldly powers."
Julian groaned. Of course he's going with that conspiracy story.
"You're a believer as well?!" The assailant looked delighted. He drew the knife away from Julian's throat. "I knew it! I knew there were others like us out there!"
Garak smiled. "I'm glad to meet a fellow disciple. Perhaps you would be so kind as to release my friend?"
The smile instantly evaporated from the assailant's face. "How do you know he's not gonna slice my balls off the second I let go?" He gestured his head towards Julian. "That's what they do, y'know, them aliens."
Garak refused to allow his disbelief at this man's imagination show. "I see. What else do these…aliens do?"
"I thought you were a believer?" The assailant sighed. "Everybody knows what them aliens do! They can slice off your manhood with their fingernails!"
"I can assure you, my friend is quite harmless. I took the liberty of removing his fingernails some time ago to prevent any incidents, and they haven't regrown the same way since."
Julian began mumbling angrily. Garak, shut up and do something useful.
"In fact," Garak raised his eyebrows at Julian, "I happen to have found a weapon that we can use against the aliens."
"Really?!" The man's eyes lit up. "Where is it?!"
Garak moved closer, lowering his voice. "I've had to hide it in the village. I mean, if the Germans found it…"
The man nodded. "Say no more. I'll go grab it for you!"
"Excellent! I believe I buried it near the police station, as they make fantastic guards."
Without another word, the assailant leapt off of Julian and made a beeline for the front door. Garak smoothly made his way to the front door, locking it with a casual flick of the wrist. "I trust you're alright, doctor?"
Julian rubbed his mouth. "What in the hell was that?"
Garak seemed insulted. "I was simply trying to find a solution to get that man to release you without attacking him! I thought you would've appreciated my peaceful method?"
"What? No, no. Why the hell wasn't he scared of you?" Julian gestured furiously to Garak, clearly exasperated. "I'm not the one with a spoon on my forehead! Why wasn't he questioning the fact you have a spoon on your forehead?!"
"How should I know? Perhaps I must look like an enemy of this era!"
"No human being is currently walking around with skin the colour of a rock, Garak." Julian snapped.
"In that case, what can I say? I guess it must be my ravishing charm."
Julian bit his tongue. "Well, you didn't have to send him into town! They'll probably throw him in the nearest hospital!"
"But I assumed that would be a good thing for him? After all, he did seem to be quite inebriated with something."
"Hospitals of this era, Garak, were not as understanding with drug users as we are," Julian carefully sat up, wincing at the pain where the man's knees had dug into him. "And congratulations on sending him to the bloody police station. They're not gonna treat him for the side effects of the drug! He'll almost certainly end up in a mental institution or prison for being found under its influence. He'll never get the help he needs to overcome an addiction."
Garak smirked. "You never fail to amaze me, doctor, with the amount of compassion you possess, even for a holographic human."
Julian sighed, . "I guess I keep forgetting none of this is real," He turned to face Garak. "But you try being assaulted three times in within twenty-four hours and you'll start questioning a few things."
"If I were you, I'd be questioning when the last time I attended a gymnasium."
"Pardon?!"
"You should have easily overpowered that last man, doctor. After all, you are a super-powered alien."
Julian scowled. "…Piss off."
The tailor chuckled as Julian sulkily retreated to the farthest corner of the room to nap, massaging his jaw as he walked. "Perhaps I shall find us some water to refresh ourselves with?"
Julian waved a hand dismissively. "Go find that damn weapon while you're at it. I know a particular alien I'd like to test it on."
He tuned out Garak's footsteps as he leant against the wall of the cottage, clicking his jaw. None of what he'd seen so far seemed to make sense. What has any of this got to do with being a hero? So far I've just been thrown around like a sack of potatoes.
Being thrown into the midst of a world war was one thing, but being attacked by hysterical drug addicts was another.
Regardless of what the larger picture was intended to be, Julian decided he'd learnt one thing. Note to self: never walk into an abandoned building again.
