Chapter 6

The shimmering wavelengths of light danced across the transporter pad, a most welcome sight after a difficult evening. Admiral Gardner and Minister Samuels had finally departed and not a moment too soon for anyone's taste. As Captain Archer watched them dematerialize into nothingness, he reflected that the evening had gone surprisingly well considering Samuels' abhorrent behavior.

Captain Archer had entrusted T'Pol to make all of the arrangements, and as usual, she had delivered. In addition, he had to admit he was pleasantly surprised about the level of self-control his Chief Engineer had shown given how grating the Minister could be on one's nerves. For all his technical prowess, Trip was not known for his restraint and the man had been through enough lately that anyone's patience would have been in short supply. Archer took a moment to register the regret that he knew he harbored and suppressed when it came to Trip. He knew when he had been preoccupied in the Expanse, he hadn't exactly been around for his friend who needed him. The mission had necessitated a single-minded focus and truth be told, it was a hell of a lot easier to blame his lack of presence on that than the truth. If he was being honest with himself, he knew that he had a great deal of difficulty admitting that every time he looked at Trip now, he thought of Sim and what he had been forced to do. He had hoped that time would allow him to reconcile his role in creating the symbiant, but his actions still haunted him. It was some consolation to know that Trip had not been left entirely on his own in the Expanse. Jon knew Trip had Malcolm, and even more so, Trip had turned to T'Pol. As far as he observed, the two had spent a significant amount of time together, so much so, he thought T'Pol might be responsible for this new found patience in Trip. Perhaps this could be attributed to her influence on him. Either way, he was relieved that they endured the challenging evening without too much bluster. He was about to say as much when Trip spoke, interrupting his inner musings.

"I thought they'd never leave." Trip beat him to it, rolling his eyes.

Archer laughed wearily, shaking his head. "It's ironic that such a repellent person has the responsibility of bringing whole worlds together. "Thank you both for putting up with him for me." The Captain smiled sincerely.

"If the vision of the new Coalition of Planets can be realized, then it will have been worth it. I'm sure Admiral Gardner appreciated your efforts," T'Pol reassured.

"Well, I certainly couldn't have pulled this off without both of you," The Captain nodded at them appreciatively.

The three senior officers walked together out of the transporter room, the Captain yawning and loosening his collar.

"I, for one, am exhausted. I'll see you both tomorrow at the conference," he gave them one last glance before bidding them good night.

"G'night, Captain," Trip nodded as he watched the man as he walked away in the corridor until he disappeared out of sight. Immediately, the pair made eye contact and continued walking, neither one confirming their destination. There was no need. They both knew where they were headed. They wordlessly walked side by side down the corridor, their arms swinging loosely at their sides when their pinky fingers just barely brushed for a fleeting moment, sending what felt like an electrical current through them both. Unprepared for the sensation, Trip gasped ever so slightly. Inwardly he cursed himself for his own susceptibility. He needed a clear head right now, but God, how he wanted her, needed her. Every cell, every fiber of her belonged to him. Likewise, he was hers, truly and hopelessly. And he was damn well not going to allow anyone to come between them. He would fight for them both if need be.

Calm down, Tucker, he admonished himself. They hadn't even started to unravel their issues and he already felt his heart racing. Without a word, they both stopped when they reached Trip's quarters.

Neither knew how to move forward. For her part, T'Pol was on unsure footing as to what might take place once they were inside. She was keen to resolve their issues but knew she needed to wait until he was ready and it was late.

When no invitation was forthcoming, she deduced he was not yet prepared to discuss the issue at hand. "I apologize. I thought we were going to speak, but I see I was mistaken."

Trip could feel her despondency and bewilderment grow as she was about to turn and head for her quarters. He had to stop her. His voice was quiet. "Do you want to come in?" He queried as he shuffled his feet quietly, his eyes meeting hers. She nodded and followed him through the door into his quarters.

Truthfully, he was glad his quarters were closer. He didn't trust himself in hers any longer. Maybe it was the candlelight or the smell of her ever-present in her quarters that called out to him like a siren or it could have been the vivid delectable memory of what they had done there together multiple times, but Trip knew unequivocally that they could have a more rational discussion in his quarters than in hers. They had rarely been here together. When T'Pol sought him out, he was usually in Engineering which was unsurprising given the excessive amount of hours he liked to work. The room felt fairly neutral to the two of them which might help their discussion and right now, they needed all the help they could get for this particular topic. She seemed to be on the same page and she nodded as he entered the keypad code to his door and they disappeared inside, the door closing swiftly behind them.

T'Pol took a cursory glance around the room. It was neat and she was overwhelmed by the scent of him that permeated the space. She realized they had not been together in his room for some time, but she immediately noticed the stained uniform he had taken off before and discarded over his chair. She picked it up and ran her fingers over the material. The ragged appearance of the uniform suggested he had been working harder and longer than the half shifts Phlox had ordered. She knew he had been upset with her, but his response to stress as usual was to throw himself into work rather than deal with it. This was unacceptable, but she knew one thing for certain; bringing it up now would only inflame him more. He was still healing. She felt a pang of guilt. Regretfully she knew It was she who had caused him to feel this way. Placing the uniform down she decided to say nothing for the moment.

"So you're not going to yell at me for overworking myself?" Trip prodded. He could feel her internal musings if not hear them.

She had forgotten to shield her thoughts.

"I apologize. I neglected to shield you from those thoughts."

Trip sighed. "When are you going to realize that I'd rather know how you are feeling than have you shut me out."

"We have much to discuss about the bond, but for now I owe you an explanation about Koss."

So, she was going to go there right from the outset. Tucker sat down on his bed. He was going to need to brace himself. She sat down next to him and took his hands in hers tenderly. Her essence washed over him at the contact and he found it oddly calming, the synergy between them having a regulating effect. Perhaps they would be able to discuss this rationally after all. At least he hoped they could.

"Trip, I need you to believe I have never been intimate with Koss." Her brown eyes searched for his, desperate to know what he was thinking. She could feel his apprehension through the bond but was not certain how to interpret it.

He sighed heavily and considered what she had said. Did he really believe she had been intimate with Koss? At the time all those months ago, he did. That's what married couples did after all. But now? She wouldn't lie to him, but she was really good at omitting things she didn't want him to know. Even so, if she said she didn't sleep with Koss, then he supposed she didn't. But her going to Mount Seleya by herself seemed to be a strange course of action for a married person even for a Vulcan. Why had she stayed there so long? The thought hung in the shadows of his mind but then she prodded again.

"You know through our bond that I do. You seem to know all my thoughts and feelings while you deny me the same access. And right now, I'm sure you feel exactly how I'd like to respond to Koss."

"You are correct. There is a power imbalance between us that must be quite unsettling. There are techniques I can teach you to shield if you'd like to learn," she offered.

Trip could not believe her. That wasn't the point. Either they were bonded or they weren't.

"No. I've had enough of guessing how you are feeling or why you're angry for a lifetime. I would rather just understand," he explained, his frustration evident in his tense tone of voice.

"There are times when your emotions overwhelm me," she admitted quietly.

"But those aren't the only times you shut me out. Even right now, I can't feel your thoughts." he volleyed back, the hurt in his voice dripping from the remark.

Indeed he was correct, she was shielding, but not for the reason he surmised. She needed to make it clear to him. "If your emotions overwhelm me, I am concerned that my current feelings will be too much for you to process ," she explained.

"Try me." He dared, leaning in so that she could feel her breath course over her lips

This was quintessentially Trip, she thought. Putting himself and his well-being secondary was his typical pattern of behavior. While admirable, this particular quality was not in his best interest and she could not abide it, but this would have to wait.

"My emotions are not like yours. The discomfort may be significant if you were to attempt to experience them." she hedged.

He scoffed, "Did you ever stop to think it's more uncomfortable to know you are not being transparent with me?" He ran his hand through his hair in frustration.

She paused to consider what he had said. It was a logical argument. She had been less than forthcoming with him throughout their relationship about the extent of her feelings–had deliberately hidden critical aspects from him, but she thought with the mind meld they had shared, much of that had been made clear to him. Evidently, he needed more from her and she would give it to him. She would give him anything.

"Very well," she assented and slowly dropped her defenses.

The tangled mass of emotions hit him at once suddenly like an electrical surge. He flinched and gritted his teeth, determined weather the assault. T'Pol was right. Her feelings were intense. And she thought he was the emotional one? If he wasn't struggling to process the barrage to his senses, he would have teased her. Her emotions were seemingly all there all at once in equal force: First and foremost, he could feel her love for him. But there was also fear she could lose him, fury for Koss, despair that she was even in this situation, and barely contained physical desire for him. She somehow managed to have all of these feelings simultaneously but they were woven in a disorganized heap that felt like a gnarled mass of twisted thorns. Was this how it always was for her? If it was, he could understand why she would want to shield him from it. But she neglected to take into account the variable in the scenario; his human heritage. Surges of intense feelings were not anything new to Trip and so he knew how to deal with what he was experiencing. He braced himself, took a deep breath, and slowly began combing through the fibers of her emotions until they were organized and laid bare to process one by one. He was sweating from the effort and breathing heavily, but slowly the tide began to recede to a manageable level and he smiled at her weakly.

"For a Vulcan who loves organization and logic, that sure was one big mess!" Now he could tease her.

T'Pol was awestruck. How had he achieved in the span of a few minutes that which she had spent a lifetime trying to master?

"I am not sure I understand how you managed that," she questioned in disbelief. It was most unexpected.

Having recovered from the storm, he laughed and shrugged. "I'm human. We have these feelings all the time, but we process them and deal with them otherwise we wouldn't be able to function."

She raised an eyebrow at him in response. For the first time in a long time, she felt centered and grounded. The noise was gone.

"Thank you." she said simply, but meant so much more.

"You don't have to thank me. We are together. Your concerns are my concerns and I am here to help you whenever it gets to be too much. Just let me in, T'Pol," he implored, squeezing her hand.

He shifted uncomfortably and looked away for a moment as he changed the topic to what they had originally come in here to discuss. "Now can we talk about what the hell we are going to do about Koss? You're not really thinking of going through with this?" The momentary mirth faded from his visage. His question hung in the air for a moment.

"I cannot fathom a way out of this, but I do know for certain, I will not be able to honor his request. However, this denial will come at a price."

"Yeah he could die," Trip said sharply.

"This is true, but I was referring to the potential consequences to us both."

"What do you mean?"

She sighed and shifted her weight uncomfortably. "Just as I have finally learned what it means to be truly Vulcan through the discovery of the Kir'Shara, I will no longer be accepted as a Vulcan once I refuse Koss. From a Vulcan perspective, I have already been responsible for taking down the High Command. I have joined Starfleet, a human organization widely credited for upending all of Vulcan. I've already been scrutinized for my actions that led to the destruction of P'Jem, and for my mother being a Syrannite for those who have not yet heeded the call of the Kir'Shara. To be the cause of my former spouse's death because I have taken a human bondmate, will be too much for traditional Vulcan society to bear. Koss' family is highly influential. I will be an outcast, even more than I was prior. And this will be nothing compared to the next issue. They will make sure Starfleet knows about us." She paused and waited for him to connect the dots.

Trip frowned. It was patently unfair that T'Pol was being used as a scapegoat for all that ails Vulcan society at this moment in their history. If anything, she should have been lauded for her role in further Vulcan society and Surak's teachings for generations to come. As it was, she was barely accepted by traditional Vulcans, but being forced to have intimate relations with a man who coerced her into marriage was a non-negotiable. If Starfleet found out about them, they both might lose their commission or be transferred for fraternization at a minimum.

"Why do they have to know about us? Can't you just deny Koss and leave the part about us out?"

"It would be more acceptable for me to turn him down if the presence of a bond were known.

Catch-22." He nodded thoughtfully

She had no idea what he meant by that and made a note to research it later. Perhaps it was a Starfleet term she had never encountered, but she pressed onward to make sure she laid everything out to him. She owed him nothing less.

On Vulcan, a bond such as ours would be akin to marriage." She searched his eyes, feeling the confusion coming through the bond.

"Marriage." He swallowed hard, digesting the information she had just dropped on him. "But you said yourself that a bond between us would not hold the same weight as a bond between Vulcans because I'm a human." He frowned, trying to understand.

"It would be surely viewed as a disgrace undoubtedly if we revealed the extent of our relationship under these circumstances but I'm certain I would be released from the obligation of mating with Koss since we are essentially married."

This was new information to him as to the implications of the bond, but he was surprised that he was more concerned with the second part. "A disgrace." He attempted to swallow the word but the bitterness would not allow for it.

She attempted to soothe him by reaching again for his hand. Physical contact seemed to regulate them both she had discovered.

He shook his head. They had too much to lose if the truth came out. "There has to be another way," he said equally for himself.

"I won't know anything until I speak with Koss. If he's coherent, that is." She hedged, sliding her hands to grasp his forearms.

"And if he's not? I don't trust him. He could hurt you." He slid his hands around her waist and began to rub her back tenderly, possessively.

"I am well able to defend myself." She retorted, her breathing quickening at his ministrations.

He knew that T'Pol could be a formidable opponent. She had handled herself more than adequately during the many skirmishes they had been involved in during their time together. The thought of this had begun to unravel his resolve and he felt the blood rushing to certain parts of his body that were poised to respond. But there was no way she was going to speak with Koss alone. Pushing the traitorous thoughts aside, he resolved to set her straight.

"Fine. But I'm coming with you "

"The risk to yourself would be unacceptable. If Koss is deep in the blood fever, he could kill you–and I would not be able to bear it if something happened to you."

"I'll keep a phase pistol on me. If he tries anything, I will stun him," he promised.

She could not argue with that logic, but she doubted she could talk him out of it and she found she didn't want to.

Whatever happened, they would be together. She would send word that they would attempt to meet with him in the morning. It was getting late and there was still so much hanging in the balance between them. She wanted to tell him about her plan to teach him how to shield his thoughts to afford him more privacy. And she needed to tell him exactly what she had been doing on Mount Seleya after her marriage to Koss. He deserved to know. But this would require much training and discussion. Given the hour, it would have to wait. She reached for him in the bond and he was at once enveloped by her regard for him. It was her way of reassuring him, and he felt the warmth return to his body for the first time all day. Maybe it would all work out after all. He leaned forward and captured her lips with his own and projected the one thing he felt his life depended on at the time.

Stay.

She nodded as she lowered him down in his bed and began to remove his uniform. The quartermaster might grow suspicious if he had ruined two uniforms on the same day. They would deal with Koss tomorrow. Tonight was theirs alone. Or at least they had thought it was.


Ensign Masaro stealthily adjusted the receiver in his ear. Working the graveyard shift had its benefits. There was hardly a living soul around in Engineering at this hour. The surveillance devices he had been instructed by Paxton himself to plant in both Commanders' quarters had been working perfectly. The scandalous footage they had obtained would be damning to Starfleet and it was exactly what the movement needed to turn hearts and minds on Earth against them. Masaro had been distraught about the initial Xindi attack on Earth–so many lives lost. And all at the hands of aliens. They didn't belong there. There was something inhuman about welcoming these bastards to live among them on Earth. It wouldn't be long for there to no longer be a purely human race. Just look at the behavior of his Commanding officers, he snickered to himself. And now these ignorant fools wanted to join a Coalition of these freaks to top it all off? He was sure it would end in Earth's destruction as it nearly had at the hands of the Xindi. There could be no peace with these animals. Self-righteously, he began transmitting the data to Terra Prime's encrypted location. Paxton was going to be pleased. Hopefully, his ruse on this cursed ship was nearly at its end and he would be rewarded with a high post within Terra Prime, a group whose mission he could truly support with all his convictions. In the dim lighting of Engineering, his sinister smile glowed menacingly. The first stage of Earth purification was about to be realized.

Author's Note:. Happy Thanksgiving to those in the US!