Chapter 33: Jail

April 1, 0008

They handcuffed me, sure enough. They handcuffed Tobin a few seconds later. They got Jessie and Barret as well.

As for Red XIII, he escaped.

"Wait!" Tifa protested. "You can't take them!"

Of course, that fell on deaf ears.

After all, Tifa wasn't president yet; she would have to be inaugurated before she could pardon us.

The official charge was breaking and entering a government building.

The loaded us and drove us to the Central Correctional Facility, formerly Corel Prison. It was upgraded, and conditions were a little better, but now the inhabitants were actually confined to cells.

We were each fingerprinted and interrogated one by one. I said how I was stopping a plot to kill Tifa, and I'll presume everyone else was saying the same. They told me it would need to be investigated before any action was taken, meaning we were guilty until proven innocent.

After that, I was taken to my cell. I was in there with Barret and Jessie; Tobin was still being grilled.

Jack and Sumner Balen were in the cell right next to us. They had been tracked down and arrested; their cell phones had given away their location. In fact, people were coming in by the minute once they were discovered to have stormed the Shinra Mansion. The cell phone never lies.

Sumner looked right at me from his cell.

"Hello, Cissnei," he taunted. "So this is what happens when a lady does a man's job."

"Go fuck yourself," I told him.

I was in no mood to deal with him.

"Cissnei, Cissnei," he continued.

"That's my name," I told him. "Your point being?"

"What kind of name is that?" Sumner asked.

"None of your business," I replied.

"You know what's really sad?" he asked.

"No, and I don't give a shit," I answered.

"You're a former Turk, and you couldn't stop our raid!" he laughed.

"Oh, it was stopped," I reminded him. "At the cost of Yuffie's life. Did you know she was only sixteen years old?"

"People die all the time," Sumner said. "No need to take it out on me."

"You led an attack on an elected official, and now our friend Yuffie is dead!"

"Poor, poor Cissnei," Sumner taunted. "Her friend died."

I knew he was trying to work me up, so I just turned my back on him and ignored him.

Just then, Tobin was pushed into our cell. He was the last one to be questioned.

"Tobin!" I called as I ran up to him and kissed him.

"Awww," Sumner continued. "Cissnei and Tobin love each other."

Finally, I couldn't resist.

"At least all the sex I get in my prison cell will be voluntary!" I gloated.

"Whoa!" groaned Sumner's cellmates as he instinctively protected his butt with his hands.

But that was useless, anyway. We would all be pardoned by President Strife for sure, although there she wouldn't exist until the next day.

All that was left to do was rot in the cell until our pardon, unless we were bailed out. We just sat around, making small talk, all while trying to ignore Jack Balen, Sumner, the cellmates, or anyone else who was arriving.

Two hours went by. It seemed like two years. We talked more. We talked about planning Yuffie's funeral. We talked about how Cloud and Tifa wouldn't be around much anymore. We talked about Jack and Sumner's unfortunate fate that was sure to be awaiting them.

Finally, we mentioned the sad reality.

"We'll be stuck here until at least noon tomorrow," Jessie said.

"We know that," Barret mentioned.

"We'll miss the inauguration," Jessie reminded us.

"That's a damn shame," Yuffie announced.

We all spun around, as none of us could believe our ears.

She was standing outside our cell, covered in suit.

"You're alive!" Jessie exclaimed.

"I just barely got out of range," Yuffie explained.

"And you went to the jail?" Tobin asked.

"I'm here to bail you out," she announced.

I was skeptical. I didn't think she would have the money, and, even if she did, I was wondering how she got it.

"Are you sure?" I naturally asked. "We all feel bad."

"I have more than enough from The Yuffie Show," she said.

It was funny how two wrongs made a right.

And then, our cell door opened, and we were free.

We all took turns hugging Yuffie. As annoying as she could be, we were all relieved she was alive.

I turned around for one last look at Jack and Sumner.

"What about them?" I naturally asked.

"My dear Cissnei," Yuffie replied. "They'll be wearing orange for the next forty years at least."

We then walked out of the cell, but not without one last word from our adversaries.

"I'll get out of here!" called Jack Balen. "You'll see!"

"We!" added Sumner.

"Shut up!"

LATER….

We all found ourselves in the Nibelheim town square. Tifa and Cloud were there as well, but the woman of the hour was, of course, Ms. Kisaragi.

"Thank you for everything," Tifa said.

"Happy to do it," Yuffie replied. "Just remember I'm pretty good at cheating death, so no more jumping to conclusions until you see my corpse."

"Agreed!" we all said in unison.

"Well," Yuffie said to Tifa, "I think somebody has a big day tomorrow!"

"I suppose," Tifa agreed. "I should get some rest. I've been getting tired a lot recently. Running for president sure is hard."

Yuffie then turned and started walking toward the hotel.

"And, as for me, I'm going for a shower," she announced. "Who wants to join me?"

Both Tobin and Barret, whom she was obviously referring to, were silent.

"You guys are no fun!" she sighed as she turned and disappeared into the hotel.