Chapter 7: Night Shift
The night was quiet and peaceful; the sounds of the waves were carried over from the beach by the mild breeze and the stars shone down on them. Even if their constellations were completely unfamiliar to him, they still conveyed a sense of calm. Hajime sighed soundlessly. It could have been a beautiful night. The surroundings certainly were pretty enough. If only they could make him forget about tonight's events…
He had known that he wouldn't be able to sleep anyway. Not with everything running through his head over and over again. Which was why he had volunteered to take the first night shift to guard the cottages.
Just this morning, everything had still seemed alright. Like they could pull through and overcome the obstacles the weird black and white bear threw in their way. Now… things looked a lot bleaker. How could things go from fine to horrible in only a single day? Nobody was dead, which was a relief. But just the possibility that it might have ended differently, that not just one but two of their fellow students were capable of planning a murder, was enough to make him doubt if they could really work through this.
Well, maybe it wouldn't trouble him half as much if it hadn't been Nagito. Hajime wasn't trying to fool himself. He hadn't known the others for very long, but even so, Nagito had quickly become someone he could call a friend. Or thought he could. He had trusted the other boy—didn't really have any reason not to—and wouldn't have imagined that he would get involved in something like this. Much less initiate it.
Maybe Teruteru had lied. It was a possibility. After all, why would Nagito want to start the killing game? It didn't make any sense. Then again, it didn't make any sense that he had been trying to kill Byakuya either.
When Hajime had seen the knife glowing in the dark, he hadn't known what was going on. But he could hear the noises of the fight and knew that whoever had the knife was trying to harm someone. When he interfered, he had acted on instinct more than anything else.
The realization that it had been Nagito he was restraining had been like a blow to the stomach. He couldn't believe it at first. Or maybe he didn't want to. He thought about the possibility that there had been a mistake. That someone else had tried to harm him and quickly fled in the darkness and somehow Nagito got the wrong impression that Byakuya was trying to attack him, so he just defended himself. After all, Nagito was injured, so why else would the otherwise friendly boy resort to attacking someone with a knife? At the time, it seemed like a sensible enough explanation.
Until he was alone in the dining room with Nagito, Nekomaru and Mikan while everyone else was scattered all over the place to perform different tasks. When he had time to think about it and realized that couldn't have been it. Byakuya had been wearing night-vision goggles. Where he had gotten them from, Hajime had no idea. But with those on, he would have been able to see exactly what had happened. And he had ordered Nekomaru and him to keep Nagito restrained. Including a warning that he wasn't harmless.
With this in mind, it would have been foolish to still assume that Nagito was just an unfortunate victim that was mixed up in a misunderstanding. Even so, it was hard for him to wrap his head around it. The way Nagito had looked up at him from upside down as Hajime kept a firm grip on his wrists didn't make it any better. The small smile seemed like an apology and Hajime quickly found himself looking away and focused instead on Mikan who was fussing over the wound.
When she lamented that she needed better equipment but the only place she had seen first-aid kits was the supermarket, Hajime quickly volunteered to go. There were still students bustling in the old building, but he hurried outside, only stopping once to answer Chiaki and Sonia at the entrance about where he was going.
He had to get out and away from the others. Not just because he didn't know what to think of the person he used to think was a friend, but because the air inside felt suffocating. He had to get a clear head and the fresh night air felt like it really did make a difference. He still hurried; people were injured after all. But he also made good use of the time alone to think about things.
Was his intuition really that bad? Had he missed any signs? How could he befriend someone that cold-blooded?
However, he quickly stopped himself from thinking like that. Maybe he was still jumping to wrong conclusions. Nagito could have a perfectly understandable reason for his actions. It wouldn't be fair to judge him as long as he didn't know the full story. He would wait for the explanation. That was the new plan.
Despite telling himself that, he still took the first opportunity to leave the dining hall again once he returned with the first-aid kit. Of course, it was important for everyone to help, after such a terrible outcome of the night. However, he knew subconsciously that it was in part because he felt uncomfortable in Nagito's presence and any excuse to be somewhere else was very welcome. And deep down he wanted to put off hearing his explanation for as long as possible. Because he was afraid to know. What if his motive wasn't understandable? What if he had to find out that he really was just a terrible judge of character in the end?
His heart sank even further when he heard what Teruteru had to say. Nagito was supposed to be crazy and malicious? Sure, he may have been a little strange at times, but this? Was that even possible? And what would he do if he found out that it was all true?
He realized that when he thought of Nagito now, he felt betrayed. The lucky student had been the first person he met on this island. The one who had been the most helpful all around. One who was understanding and, dare he say it, relatable. They had spent an entire afternoon joking about his possible talent, relieving him of a lot of anxiousness and self-doubt. And now he had to find out that the very same friend was apparently hell-bent on setting this killing game in motion. It was just too… unthinkable. It made him wonder if they had even been friends in the first place or if he had just blindly latched onto the first person available.
"Are you alright?"
Hajime's head snapped up and he turned to the side to see Nekomaru staring at him with furrowed brows. He was standing a bit further down the planks connecting the cottages. Hajime realized he had been staring into space for a while now.
"Uhm, yeah, I'm fine. It's just… well…" He made a vague hand gesture. "All this…"
Nekomaru nodded. "I get what you mean. It is a pretty shitty situation, huh? I don't think anyone could have anticipated it." He spoke in what could be considered a whisper but coming from him it was still the same volume as another person's indoor voice.
"Yeah…" That was certainly true. Hajime hesitated for a second, before curiosity got the better of him after all. "Did he say anything?"
"What do you mean?"
"Oh, uh, I mean Nagito. Did he say anything while I was gone?"
Nekomaru frowned. "Well, he did say some… weird things."
"Weird?" Did he really want to know? Why was he even asking?
When Nekomaru spoke, he sounded hesitant. Like he turned every word around in his head before saying it. "I think he was a bit delirious. I'm not sure if we can take it all seriously…" He paused and for a second, it seemed like he wasn't going to continue, but then he added, "He was talking about being a failure. Either for not killing Byakuya or for not getting killed."
"He wanted to die?" Hajime blurted out.
"I'm not entirely sure. It kind of sounded like that. Then again, he praised Byakuya for stopping him." He sighed. "He also spoke about hope, but it was pretty abstract."
Hope? Teruteru had said the same thing, hadn't he? Maybe he wasn't lying, after all? Hajime forced a slight smile on his face. "I see. Thank you."
"I'm sorry." Nekomaru scratched his massive neck. "I guess it must be hard to believe with how close you two are."
"Ah, we're not that close," Hajime found himself saying. "We were just hanging out a couple of times, that's all."
Nekomaru studied him for a second. "Oh. I just assumed, because you were talking a lot. Well, in any case, we should hope that this can all be cleared up tomorrow."
"Yeah."
There was a short pause between them and Hajime went back to stare at nothing. Until Nekomaru spoke up again.
"I think he was right. Nagito, that is."
Hajime's head turned back to him so fast he thought he might get whiplash.
"Not about the stuff he said tonight," Nekomaru quickly clarified. "The thing he said yesterday. When Byakuya wanted us to figure out what we need to get through this, Nagito asked if it was a bond. I don't think he's wrong."
Hajime pondered that for a bit. It already felt bitter, knowing the suggestion came from the very person that had attacked someone else only a day later, but he had to somehow agree with it. "You're right. It would be helpful if we had a bond in our group. At least so we wouldn't have to doubt each other all the time."
"Exactly!" Nekomaru exclaimed enthusiastically, then he sheepishly glanced around to see if he had woken anyone up. Thankfully, the cottages stayed dark and they heard nothing unusual, even after they waited for another moment.
"But it might be difficult to achieve something like that," Hajime continued. "I mean, after tonight…"
Nekomaru looked at him seriously. When he spoke, he lowered his voice again, though that didn't mean there was no strength behind his words. "Well, if you want to build a bond, you need to stop thinking like that. These thoughts are not helping."
"Yeah… I guess you're right." Of course, if he wanted a foundation of trust, he would have to trust the others in return. It was discouraging to think that he had been wrong about Nagito, but maybe Nekomaru was right. If they would try again to build their relationships in earnest this time, maybe they could prevent another incident like this from happening. Still, he didn't know if he was the right person for this. It certainly didn't feel like it to him. "You should talk to Byakuya tomorrow, see if he has an idea to help it along," he finally suggested.
Nekomaru nodded after mulling it over in his head. "Yeah, I think I will."
They were guarding the cottages in silence for the rest of their shift, only breaking it the few times Mikan came out of hers to check up on Nagito. By the time Gundham and Mahiru relieved them for the rest of the night, Hajime felt like he had calmed down his thoughts enough to get some shuteye after all.
