"The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate; to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well." – Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Chapter 5
Hermione was writing a letter. She bent over her parchment, her quill scratching away as she worked. Outside the library, rain was pouring down with a particular intensity, occasionally punctuated by the sound of thunder. The library was packed with students who, unable to go outside, were using the rest of the rainy Sunday afternoon to catch up with studying and homework.
Hermione finished the letter and looked it over. Dumbledore had encouraged her to write a letter to her "father" telling him about school every now and then. It would be brought up to Dumbledore's office and he would pen a reply a short while later, disguising his handwriting for safety reasons. She understood the necessity of not arousing interest, but it still gave her heart a pang to consider that she couldn't write to her real parents.
'They should have just gotten married this month,' she thought gloomily. 'Just married and not a clue that their teenage daughter was in Scotland. And that she might never see them again.'
It was with a heavy heart that she folded up the letter. She would bring it to Dumbledore tomorrow.
At the table next to her, a group of Hufflepuff girls were giggling, occasionally casting wary looks at the forbidding looking Madame Pince. Other tables were occupied with studying or talking students, the later the recipients of a large number of pointed glares from the school librarian. The table on her other side was receiving the largest amount of any of them, as it had Harry's father and his friends sitting at it.
"I can't believe we got two weeks detention," James was saying. "Aubrey's head was back to normal in about five minutes."
"That Professor Seedling had got it in for us because Aubrey is a Hufflepuff," was Sirius's answer. His handsome face was his brother's equal in haughtiness.
Lupin looked less convinced. "You really shouldn't have done it," he said. "Especially not where Professor Seedling could see you." Ignoring Sirius's glare, he turned back to his homework. "I still have an Arithmancy essay to write," he said quietly. "I can't leave it all for next week."
"You still have a week before the full moon though," Pettigrew piped up, his voice carrying. Lupin looked up in alarm.
"Keep your voice down," His eyes were quickly scanning the library. When they passed Hermione, she was unable to hide the fact that she was watching them, and nervously gave a smile she hoped seemed encouraging and unsuspicious.
Hermione wasn't sure but she thought he might have flushed slightly, his gaze averting hers. She turned back to her books with a frown. Did Remus Lupin not like her?
Hermione had barely spoken to any of them since coming back in time. She hated admitting it, but with the exception of Lupin, they were all rather low on her list of favorite people in this time period. Sirius and James were arrogant and careless, with a bad habit of hexing students who annoyed them and Pettigrew did little more than follow their lead, apparently not confident enough to stand on his own. Looking back at Harry and Ron, she thought they seemed almost mature by comparison.
Over at the next table, Lupin and Pettigrew were having a quiet but furious looking argument. James appeared to be trying to referee them but Sirius was ignoring them, apparently thoroughly bored by the whole situation.
Hermione's eyes narrowed as his gaze followed a lone Slytherin who had just entered the library. Severus Snape had disappeared behind the bookshelves. Without a word to the others, Sirius got up quietly and headed towards the books and out of sight.
It took Hermione less than a minute to climb to her feet and follow. She spotted Sirius making his way towards where Snape was searching through a shelf on potions, his back to them both.
"What are you looking for, Snivellus? Books on how to shrink your nose so it's a normal size? I don't think they've invented advanced enough magic for that."
Snape whirled around so fast his back hit the shelf with a sharp thud. His wand was out in a flash. Sirius just looked at him and laughed quietly.
"Relax Snivellus, we are in the library. Pince would have a fit if you used magic in here." His arrogant face was alive with mischief as he eyed the stringy-looking Slytherin.
Hermione chose that moment to intervene. "Severus, I've been waiting for you." Both Sirius and Snape looked at her in surprise. "You promised to help me with my Potions essay, remember?"
Snape eyed her wearily. Sirius for his part looked unconvinced. "Why would you want to work with a greasy git like him?" he asked.
"He happens to be one of the best of our year at Potions," Hermione replied sweetly. "Really Black, if you spent less time fooling around in class, you might have noticed that." She motioned for Snape to follow her. "Come on Severus, I got us a table."
Snape hesitated, and then followed her, throwing a malevolent look at Sirius as he passed that was returned with interest. It wasn't until they had been sitting for a minute or so and Hermione had pulled out her half-finished potions essay that he spoke up.
"I don't need you to defend me." His voice was very low. Hermione had to lean in to hear him.
"I'm not defending you, I'm asking for your help with my Potions homework," Hermione told him.
His reply was swift in coming. "And why would I help you?"
"Well," Hermione began slowly, "I would imagine you wouldn't want them to know that a Ravenclaw girl come to your defense just because she pitied you….and I really do need help on my Potions essay," she finished, inching the essay towards him.
He took it, still glaring, and began to look it over. "It's all technically correct," he told her after he had observed in for a minute. "But it's very formal. It's like you copied it all down word for word from the textbook. The entire thing is too stilted. It's not how I would have written it." He pulled out a spare bit of parchment and began to write. As he worked, Hermione noticed that Remus Lupin was looking with some surprise their way.
"You should squeeze the juice out of the roots," he pointed to an entry. "That's the best way to get the flavor. We worked that out last year. It saves lots of time."
"We?" Hermione asked in surprise.
His face turned very dark. "I meant to say me," he said unconvincingly. "I worked that out last year."
Hermione nodded. She had a feeling that she knew who "we" included, but it was not her place to say anything. The two bent their heads over the parchment, Snape making suggestions and pointing out places where her essay was too close to the book. She read over his notes and polished her essay, noting with some relief that the marauders left soon after she and Snape had taken seats together.
The following weekend was set to be a busy one. Professor Slughorn's party was that Friday, and the first Quidditch match of the year, Ravenclaw vs. Slytherin, was that Saturday morning. Hermione found herself being steered in front of a mirror Friday afternoon after class while Aurora fussed over her.
"Your curls are falling nicely," she told Hermione. "Like tightly coiled springs."
Pandora rolled her eyes. "It only took about an hour to get them that way. Lucky it's fashionable to be late."
Aurora looked unperturbed. "They bounce."
Hermione felt uncomfortable. "I don't need bouncing hair, but thank you Aurora." She took a step back from the mirror and smoothed down her blue dress. "How do I look besides, 'bouncing curls?'
"Very good." Pandora was nodding in approval. "I thought that dress would look nice on you." She linked her arm through Hermione's. She would be going as Hermione's "date.""We should be heading down now." Hermione thanked Aurora and the girls headed out of the dorm and through the Ravenclaw common room. Emmeline, who was sitting in an armchair, working on homework, nodded coolly as they passed her.
Down to the dungeons they headed, where the door to Professor Slughorn's office door was open. A small group of students were already there, including Lily Evans, Severus Snape, Remus Lupin and to Hermione's disgust, Regulus Black.
The Slytherin threw Hermione a withering glare as she sat down at a seat the Potions Master indicated. Pandora took the seat to her left. To her right, Lupin gave her a weak smile. She felt a pang of sympathy when she considered that there was a full moon that weekend.
Professor Slughorn was wearing bright green robes with silver lining. He beamed around at them all. They were sitting at a round table, so everyone could clearly see the others. Lily smiled at both Hermione and Lupin, while Snape ignored everyone.
"Now let's see? Professor Slughorn said cheerfully. "I have all of my favorites here. Lily, Severus, Dirk," he flashed a handsome seventh year boy sitting on Lily's right a large smile. He nodded to several other students before turning to Hermione with a look of interest.
"And now Miss Perkins! You have been doing splendidly in my class and it's only your first year at Hogwarts. Your parents must have taught you well."
Hermione fought back the heavy feeling in her stomach as she answered. "Well my mother homeschooled me and she's always been very particular about my education. My father helps where he can but there is not much he can do as he is not a wizard."
"Ah yes," Slughorn said good-naturedly. "There are many talented halfblood witches and wizards. "Just look at young Severus here." He gestured towards Snape, who did not look happy to be dragged into the conversation.
'Snape was a halfblood?' Hermione thought.
Regulus and his friends were snickering. Slughorn frowned at them.
"Now Regulus, Barty, Evan, you mustn't be like that. Why I've known many a talented halfblood or even muggleborn" He said cheerfully. "Look at our Miss Evans and Mr. Cresswell." Dick Cresswell looked pleased but Hermione thought Lily was starting to look uncomfortable.
"Now you shouldn't categorize us so quickly," she told him. "I'm sure there are muggleborn students who are prats to match the pureblood ones." She gave a cold smile to Regulus and his friends, who had stopped snickering.
Professor Slughorn laughed. "Too true Lily. You always have such a cheeky way of stating your point," he said, looking fondly at her. "So Miss Perkins," he continued, turning back to Hermione. "What made your mother decide to send you here when she was doing so splendid a job educating you?"
Hermione focused her attention on her hands. She could feel all of the eyes in the room on her. "Well you see, my mother passed away this summer," she said quietly.
"How dreadful," Slughorn murmured, shaking his bald head. "Very dreadful." Remus Lupin and Lily Evans both looked sympathetic, while Pandora had squeezed her hand under the table. "Well at the very least, you have the benefit of receiving a Hogwarts education." He then turned his attention to the others. "Now I'm sure everyone is hungry, so let's eat!"
He clapped his hands and platters of food appeared in front of them. Hermione began to fill her plate as the room filled with chatter and the clink of knives and forks.
"I'm a halfblood too," Lupin told her as she cut up her steak. "It's the other way around though with me. I have a muggle mother and a wizard father. They have been married for twenty years now." He placed some potatoes on his plate.
"My parents have been married just as long," Hermione said. "Or at least they were." She stared down at her vegetables in discomfort.
"Mine are half and half too," Pandora said. "Muggle mother, wizard father." She lowered her voice then. "Some people think that they are better than others because they can trace the witches and wizards back through the centuries in their families." Hermione did not need to look up at her to know that she was glaring at Regulus and his friends, who were making it a point to only talk to each other, though they were occasionally throwing dirty looks at Lily, who was talking to Slughorn, and Dirk, who was talking to another seventh year.
"I heard you got detention for hexing Regulus Black," Cresswell suddenly said, turning to regard Hermione favorably. "Well done."
Regulus's head shot up. Hermione pretended not to see him as she answered Cresswell. "I was just trying to improve his vocabulary," she told him. Out of the corner of her eyes, she could see Black glaring. "It's appallingly rude."
Cresswell grinned. "We Ravenclaw's often get called on to help educate our fellow students," he said sagely, "especially the less enlightened ones." Pandora nearly choked on her butterbeer. If Professor Slughorn weren't still there, Hermione was sure that a fight would have broken out. She watched as Evan Rosier muttered something undoubtedly vicious to Regulus who nodded, still staring at Hermione.
Hermione felt a grim satisfaction at the boy's anger. After years of being called a mudblood, she took her victories where and when she could get them.
The next day was bright and cold. Hermione, decked out in Ravenclaw colors, made her way down to the stands with the girls from her dorm. The conditions were very good for flying she heard Belby say as he passed them in the common room. He was on the Ravenclaw Quidditch team, but he seemed unconcerned about running late.
The girls found their way to the Ravenclaw section and grabbed seats. The area was packed, with most of the students wearing blue and carrying blue and bronze flags. Professor Flitwick, Hermione noticed, was wearing robes that flashed blue and bronze and carrying a bronze flag that was almost as big as his body.
The Slytherin team, dressed in green robes, came out onto the pitch. The Slytherin's cheered their loudest, trying to drown out the boos and hisses heard from the other houses. Regulus Black, Hermione noticed, was among them. His haughty face was smirking up at the crowd, apparently unconcerned by all the hostility.
The Ravenclaw team, led by Belby, headed out to much louder applause and cheers. A number of first and second year Ravenclaws were jumping up and down in their seats.
The two captains stepped forward and shook hands at Hooch's command and the game began as fourteen brooms lifted into the air. Even Hermione found her interest lifting as she watched them.
Regulus Black was a very good flyer, she reluctantly noticed, probably as good as Harry. He flew one way and then the other, goading the Ravenclaw seeker, a boy called Kessler, into following him. The announcer, a boy from Gryffindor whose name Hermione didn't know, was eagerly recounting the match.
"And it's Belby with the quaffle. Belby heads down to the Slytherin goal post, he shoots, ah it was blocked…"
The Slytherin's let up a cheer that the Ravenclaw's matched with groans. Belby zoomed off after the quaffle, the announcer keeping pace.
"Belby is in hot pursuit of Avery. Avery is making his way past Ryan, hit him with a bludger someone! Ah, that MUST have hurt."
Avery shook his head to try and clear it. He had lost the quaffle and Ryan had grabbed it. Into the Slytherin goal posts it went. A cheer went up from the blue and bronze supporters as Ravenclaw scored the first points of the game.
Hermione cheered along, watching as the blue and green players soared back and forth. Next to her Pandora was watching avidly while on her other side Aurora was making her own observations on the game.
Macnair has the quaffle in his possession. He shoots, damn it, he scores!" He cursed loudly. McGonagall threw him a stern look reminiscent of the ones Hermione had seen her throw Lee Jordan in her own time.
And on it went, the players flying back and forth, the quaffle and bludgers soaring through the air and the cheers and boos that went up whenever a team scored.
After about a half hour into the game, with both teams tied, Regulus entered into a dive. Kessler followed on his heels, eager to catch him. The two were neck and neck as they flew downwards. Their hands were out; each was ready to shove the other off his broom if they had to.
It was close but with a great display of agility and flight, Regulus Black tore back up into the air, the fluttering snitch grasped in his hand, and a smirk of triumph on his face as the Slytherins roared their approval amidst the boos and hisses.
Hermione sighed. Well at least she had gotten him good herself.
