"The eyes of others our prisons; their thoughts our cages." Virginia Woolf.
Chapter 6
"I don't know," Hermione said in frustration, running her fingers through her bushy hair. "Food could be the answer, a drink." The door remained closed. "That all ends up gone when you share it!"
The door remained stubbornly closed. Hermione, needing her Potions text, remained rooted to the spot. "I…" She was blanking for some reason.
"It's a secret."
Hermione turned to face Emmeline Vance. She had not heard the other witch approach.
"It's a secret," Emmeline said again. She was watching Hermione closely. "The answer, that is."
"Well reasoned." And with that the door opened.
"Thank you," Hermione said.
"It's not a problem. The two headed inside together. Trixie waved at Hermione as she passed by her. Her Potions book was on her top bookshelf next to One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi. She placed it in her bag and headed out of Ravenclaw Tower.
Hermione arrived in the library to find Snape already waiting for her. He was writing in what looked to be his potions text, occasionally crossing something out as he went. She slid into a seat across from him and pulled out her book.
"You're late." He didn't even bother looking up.
"Yes well…" she wasn't exactly going to tell him that she had trouble getting into her common room.
"If you're going to take this seriously, you can't be late. I'm not wasting my time." He still didn't look up.
"I'm sorry."
"You should be."
Trying a different tactic, she pulled out her notes. "Now I know you say that the Dreamless Sleep potion is more effective if you crush the lavender instead of slicing it but the book says…"
"Forget what the book says." He had finally looked up. "I'm not interested in what an outdated Potions text says. My potions are improvements over the solutions given there."
"Are you planning on getting published after you leave school?" Hermione asked him.
Snape narrowed his eyes. "I don't think that my future ambitions should concern you, Perkins." He gestured towards her notes. "If I didn't think you knew what you were doing, then I wouldn't be telling you this. As it is, you make an above-average potions student who could improve if she got her head out of her books and actually learned a thing or two about the art of potions and the many alternatives there are to the norm."
Hermione decided to just take the compliment and ignore the insult. "Why don't you publish? It will help you make a name for yourself."
"I happened to prefer to keep my inventions to myself," he answered coldly.
Hermione wondered how much of that was due to the fact that he was gearing towards becoming a Death Eater. She briefly considered the idea of trying to intervene in his decision before deciding to let it drop. He was not going to listen to her and she was not supposed to meddle with time anyways.
They leaned in, discussing the potion in low voices. He explained the benefits of crushing the lavender over chopping it, went over the good that clockwise stirs mixed in with counter-clockwise stirs would do, and discussed different heating temperatures. They talked for so long that it was beginning to get dark by the time they had made their way through all of his notes.
"It's really simple," Snape finished as he placed his notes back in his bag. "The potion is able to be vastly improved by…" he trailed off suddenly, his dark eyes narrowing. Hermione, looking up, saw Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew entering the library together.
Lupin it seemed was looking for a book. He had been doing a lot of reading lately, Hermione had noticed. She did not know enough about him as an adult to know if that was normal for him. They settled into seats nearby, Lupin searching through a textbook while Pettigrew looked around the room, clearly bored.
It took only a second before his blue eyes met her brown ones. Smirking slightly, he nudged Lupin. His friend seemed determined to ignore whatever he was currently whispering, but Hermione could see that Lupin was frowning.
Hermione's attention was drawn away from them by the sound of a book snapping shut. She turned to see Snape had finished packing his things and gotten to his feet. "I'll see you in class." With that he walked out of the library. Hermione hesitated, her eyes briefly flickering on Lupin, who was still reading his book and Pettigrew, who was looking at her in an aggravatingly superior way.
She shoved her things into her bag and headed out, ignoring the two boys as best she could.
The weeks had flown by and it was already October. The temperature had dropped, the trees turning gold, orange and red. Hermione, who had always enjoyed the fall, would take her things outside as often as the weather permitted, sometimes accompanied by Aurora, who had a great love of nature, or Emmeline, who enjoyed lying under the changing trees.
The coursework was trickier than ever, with the students now practicing nonverbals in Charms, D.A.D.A and Transfiguration, and Hermione having advanced Arithmancy problems to work out and complex potions to make as well. When homework, the occasional letters to write and another Slug Club dinner were added in, it was with a complete loss of the time and some wonder that Hermione saw an announcement going up for the first Hogsmeade weekend.
Aurora and Pandora left Charms talking excitedly about what they were going to do in Hogsmeade. Hermione started to catch up with them when a gentle tap on her shoulder made her stop.
"Rose." It was Remus Lupin. "Could I have a minute?"
Feeling confused, Hermione nodded. "Of course." They walked down the hall, avoiding the passing students. When Lupin was sure that no one was in earshot, he began.
"Well there is a Hogsmeade trip this Saturday," he said. "I heard Brightman and Sinistra telling you about it and well….I was wondering if you had any plans in particular."
Hermione's confusion gave way to understanding at once. "I thought I would go but I don't have any particular plans."
Lupin nodded, his eyes boring into hers as though nervous to look away. He was biting his lip hard. "Well, I wouldn't mind showing you around your first time…if that's okay." He added quickly.
Hermione smiled at him. "It would be great, thanks Remus."
Lupin looked surprised for an instant, then delighted. "Alright," he said grinning. "Thanks..er…I mean I'll meet you in the entrance hall then. See you later then." He walked quickly away, leaving Hermione to shake her head after him. He was at least better at this sort of thing than Ron.
If Hermione was going to spend all of Saturday enjoying herself in Hogsmeade, then she was going to catch up on all of her homework on Friday. So after dinner saw her back at her favorite haunt in the school: the library.
Unfortunately it was not long before her work was interrupted by the very unwelcome sight of Regulus Black entering the library, clutching a book under one arm. He stopped next to her table, his look malicious.
"That is still my table."
"Well it doesn't have your name on it," Hermione told him. "And at any rate you didn't even put a book down to hold your place this time." She eyes the book under his arm critically. "What's that? A how to guide for dark wizards in the making?"
Regulus laughed coldly. "It figures that you would be afraid of a little dark magic." Much to Hermione's displeasure, he slid into a seat across from her.
"When I have any idea of what things like that could do; then yes, I find it frightening. As well as a little distasteful." She grimaced at the thought of the battle at the ministry.
"Has Perkins been frightened by a little curse of two?" He was smirking.
"It's more than a little curse or two when people's lives get put at stake."
"It depends on what sort of people we are talking about." His eyes were like ice.
"It's the old argument, isn't it?" Hermione asked in anger. "That Muggles and Muggleborns don't really matter and its okay to curse them."
Regulus was still smirking. "Well you said it, not me."
"You know what I think," Hermione said coldly, "I think you have no idea what you are talking about. I could come up with numerous muggleborn witches and wizards who are talented but you won't listen. I could also come up with many important things that come from muggles but you won't listen to that either because you're too determined to believe that everyone who isn't just like you is inferior."
His look was incredulous. "And Muggles aren't inferior?"
"No!" She was struggling to keep her voice from rising. Madame Pince would murder her. "They have invented many incredible things that wizards take for granted."
"Name one."
She would name many. "The train you use to go to school. The radio that the Wizarding Wireless is adapted from for another thing. Modern plumbing."
"We wouldn't need to use the train if we weren't all in hiding," he told her. "There could be less security if a large portion of it weren't spent hiding from the muggles."
"Rugs. The Knight Bus…"
"Which no one I know uses." He shot back.
"Novels." She was delighted to see him pause. "Are you a reader, Regulus Black?"
"I would never read anything written by a muggle or mudblood," Regulus said with a look of distaste. That still didn't answer the question and he knew it.
"It's too bad," Hermione told him. She began to gather her things. "Some of the best fantasy books come from muggles. I'd write you a list if I thought you wouldn't throw it away." With that said, she walked out of the library, leaving him to his less than pleasant thoughts.
It was chilly but bright out the next day, reasonably good conditions for a trip to the village. Hermione was cheered by this thought as she and Lupin left the castle.
Hermione felt slightly nervous as they walked, her hand kept reaching up to tug at a stray strand of hair. She was on a date with her ex-Defense teacher. Granted it was twenty years in the past and he was no older than her here but it was still something she had never expected she would have to deal with. She had not meant to get involved in anything vaguely romantic but she had already gone back on her word.
Remus Lupin looked just as nervous. He talked about Quidditch, the Hogwarts grounds; she thought she even heard him starting to bring up the weather at one point before falling silent.
The village at long last came into view. Hermione smiled at the sight. "It's beautiful."
"It is very nice," he told her. "My friends and I always make sure to hit all of the big shops like Zonko's and the Three Broomsticks for a drink." He grinned. "There's this young barmaid who just started there last year named Rosmerta, Sirius is always trying to flirt her up."
Hermione laughed. "I can see him doing that. It sounds like you guys have a lot of fun."
"With James and Sirius, that's largely what life is all about," Lupin said. "They have their rough edges but they are good guys at heart. Peter is too."
Hermione's smile faded. "Well as your friends you would know them best." She gestured towards the sweets shop near them. "Shall we?"
The store was already packed with students. Hermione looked around, feeling slightly self conscious about her lack of funds. 'It didn't hurt to look.' Belby was up at the front with a large group of boys buying of all things cockroach clusters. "Probably one of his usual bets," Lupin said as they watched him turn away from the counter. "He's always doing stuff like that. They turned to look at the sugar quills. Out of the corner of Hermione's eye, she could see two boys, one in his school robes, glaring at them.
"Hey, Remus…" she didn't get to say anything further before the boys started to approach them. Hermione recognized one of them from Potions class: Bertram Aubrey.
"Lupin, you tell your friends that the next time they decide to mess with Bert here we won't hesitate to retaliate." Bertram's friend looked really angry. Lupin for his part was looking uncomfortable.
"I'm sorry they have still been bothering you," he told an equally furious looking Aubrey.
Aubrey scoffed. "Like you haven't helped them pick on students before."
"I will talk to them," Lupin promised.
"You had better do more than that. I won't hesitate to hex them the next time they mess with him and I'm not the only Hufflepuff who feels that way." Both boys were gripping their wands.
"I promise that it will stop." Lupin told them again. They eventually left, leaving an uneasy silence between him and Hermione.
"Do you want to go to the Three Broomsticks?" Hermione asked. Looking grateful for a change of scenery, Lupin quickly agreed. They made their way out of the shop and passed the filled streets to the pub. Once inside they found seats at the back.
"Two butterbeers please," Lupin said when Rosmerta came over to get their order. It was very warm in the pub. Hermione took off her scarf.
"I don't suppose you would want to go to Zonko's after this?" Lupin asked her. Hermione hesitated a little too long. "It's alright. We could just stay here awhile." Their drinks were brought over. Hermione drank hers slowly, enjoying the warmth as it slid down her throat.
"I wouldn't mind just sitting here and talking to you," Hermione hoped she sounded encouraging. The two sat for awhile, talking quietly. Hermione told him about Pandora and Aurora and some of the projects she had seen going on in Ravenclaw, while he talked about his mother.
"She was just so on board with anything magical," he said fondly. "I don't think I could be as enlightened if I had just found out my wife was a witch. I think she was more excited about my letter to Hogwarts than he was."
"My father was happy when mine came," she told him. "He said that it explained a lot."
"Your mother had been a witch though, hadn't she?" Lupin was frowning. "Wouldn't she have told him all about magic?"
Hermione froze. "Well some things he knew, but he knew nothing of Hogwarts or how wizards train. She then decided to home school me so it wasn't until this year that he had any reason that learn about wizard schools at all." She felt a pang of remorse as she lied.
Lupin looked sympathetic. "He must miss you terribly."
"I miss him too, and my mother." It was the first completely true thing she had said. Hermione hated not being able to see her parents. She wished she had gone skiing with them last year like they had wanted, but she had never liked skiing and she had wanted to be with the Weasley's while Mr. Weasley was in the hospital.
"I'm sorry." His voice was very soft. "It must be terrible to lose one of your parents. My mother gets sick sometimes, so I worry about her too."
Hermione felt a rush of sudden sympathy for the sandy-haired boy sitting next to her. She leaned over and took his hand. "I think that we assume we have them forever and it hurts to find out that we are wrong."
Lupin nodded. "This is a bad topic though," he said. He laughed. "Sirius would be ribbing me right about now, asking why I don't make a move and well…"
"So why don't you?" Hermione's eyes widened. She hadn't known she was going to say it until it was out and now she wished desperately to take it back.
Lupin looked surprised. "Do you really mean that?" he asked her, a touch of hope creeping into his voice. Seeing he wasn't going to laugh at her, Hermione nodded.
There was definitely hope there. Hermione's heart was pounding like crazy. He was starting to lean in, looking nervous but determined. His lips briefly brushed hers and…
…and Peter Pettigrew decided to choose that moment to come over and ask if they had seen Sirius and James?
Lupin jumped back as though he had received an electric shock. "No," Hermione said quietly, her heart still racing wildly. "We haven't seen them. Why don't you check Zonko's?" Her tone could not have been less inviting if she tried.
"They aren't there," Pettigrew replied cheerfully. "I guess I'll just wait here for them." He slid into the booth next to her; a grin stretched a mile wide across his chubby face. "It's getting cold out there." He rubbed his hands together.
There were a thousand things that Hermione would have liked to say to him at that moment, none of which were even remotely polite, but she refrained as she looked at his smug looking face. She decided not to dignify his behavior with a reaction.
"So Remus," she said, turning back to him. "How are your nonverbals coming along? I heard Professor Marchbanks award you points in class yesterday."
"She says that Lily Evans and I are the best of Gryffindor," he told her, glancing at Peter Pettigrew as he did so. Pettigrew merely smiled complacently as his own drink was added to the table.
"That's great. It's good to see that some of the Gryffindor boys in our year have some genuine talent," she added, as she too glanced at Pettigrew. She was pleased to see his smile falter a bit.
"James and Sirius are the best in our year at Transfiguration." She had definitely hit a nerve. "And I'm very good at Herbology."
Hermione gave him a cold smile. "I have a friend who is marvelous at Herbology. It's a shame that you don't have half his integrity."
Pettigrew's face flushed. "I would watch it if I were you," his voice was rising. "You should know better than to make friends with wizards like Snivellus, and spend your time insulting decent wizards, you're…"
But what Hermione was she never found out as Lily Evans and her friend Mary Macdonald chose that moment to intervene. "Peter, I'm glad I caught you," Lily said as she reached their table. "Potter and Black are looking for you."
Pettigrew was still looking flustered. "I've been trying to find them all afternoon."
"Yes well, I have no idea where they've been but as they're outside looking for you, I suggest you pay for your drink, stop harassing Remus and Rose and go meet them."
With a scowl, Pettigrew threw down his money and walked off. Lily turned back to them with a grin.
"Thought I'd give you guys a hand," she said.
"So are Sirius and James really waiting for him?" Lupin asked.
"I have no idea," Lily replied cheerfully. "But it gets him out of your hair, at least for a while. See you two." She and Mary disappeared into a crowd that was forming.
Lupin and Hermione looked at each other and laughed. "Come on, let's get out of here," Lupin said, placing the money down. Hermione grabbed her scarf and the two headed out. Pettigrew wasn't wrong, it really was getting cold. Having enough of Hogsmeade, and not wanting to run into any more irritable people, they made their way back to the castle.
"Not what I expected but alright," Hermione said as they walked. She took Lupin's hand in hers, enjoying the warmth from his gloves.
Lupin agreed. "We could do this again sometime, if you want." He waited with baited breath for her answer.
"Of course," Hermione told him. "But I'm hexing the next person who interrupts us."
"Agreed."
End of chapter
Just to make it clear, this is not Snape/Hermione. He will not develop feelings for her too; as it stands he barely tolerates her. Lupin/Hermione is only temporary as well. This is a slow build and it would be unrealistic if Regulus were to change his whole life in a month or two and get together with a girl that he believes at best to be a half-blood of no important family. For her part, Hermione doesn't care for him either at this point. So Lupin/Hermione gives me a reason to draw things out and Hermione a reason to interact with MWPP.
For the record, the riddle Hermione had to answer was: When you have me, you want to share me. When you share me, I no longer exist.
