Look at these plain, homely, practical words. 'The Dragon's Grandmother.' That is all right; that is rational almost to the verge of rationalism. If there was a dragon, he had a grandmother. But you-you had no grandmother! If you had had one, she would have taught you to love fairy tales. Gilbert Chesterton


Do Not Go Gentle

Chapter 17

Hermione spent the remainder of May and beginning of June concentrating on studying for final exams. It was much easier to spend her evenings and weekends concentrating on piles of notes and textbooks rather than thinking on the different changes that were taking place around her and the brutal changes that had already taken place on that horrible Hogsmeade weekend.

The school was still a somber, unhappy place that month, and with security tighter than ever and ministry officials popping in and out constantly, Hermione felt as though the very walls were closing in all around her. She was still having nightmares about that day at Hogsmeade, which was often not far from her mind even while awake. Another topic had found itself creeping into her mind lately and it was equally worrying, how she was going to manage her summer out of school.

The Headmaster had told her he would arrange for her to have somewhere to stay but she dearly hoped it would not be Hogsmeade like the previous summer. Even with the additional security she knew Hogsmeade now had Hermione was unsure that she could manage two months in the village without losing it completely. Her sleeping habits were still horrible and the nightmares were still coming and she could not imagine a summer in Hogsmeade helping matters, where reminders of Death Eaters appearing and people fighting and dying would be everywhere.

Of course there was still another issue that would not leave Hermione's mind and that was the fact that it would be a year in July since she had been here and she still had yet to get home. She missed her parents and her friends and it was hard to believe that she might never see them again. Harry and Ron were not even born yet and would not be for several more years and it hurt to think that even when they were she might never get to know them again. Would a Hermione exist that befriended them only to disappear in the summer of 1996 or would her being here somehow interfere with this? How much had Hermione already changed about the future simply by spending the last year in the past?

That there would be a Harry Potter she was now finally sure of. James Potter had seemed sobered by the past month. She noticed that he swaggered less then he used to and was much calmer and more considerate than he used to be and if she had noticed it then she was sure that Lily Evans had. She had seen James Potter and Lily Evans together over the past few weeks and they were more civil and friendly towards each other then she had seen all year. They may not have been dating at the moment but she was sure that it was coming; it was just a matter of time until they did.

Hermione was not sure what the future of the wizarding world would bring with her being back here and she was even less sure if her being here wouldn't completely tear apart the very future of the war but she was aware of at least one comforting thing. Harry Potter would exist. It was just a matter of what kind of life he would live when he did.


"I can't wait for exams to be finished," Hermione smiled at Remus as he came to sit down beside her at the Ravenclaw table one sunny June morning.

"I know right?" Pandora said to him as she placed eggs on her plate. "I'm just glad that this isn't O.W.L or N.E.W.T year. I'm swamped enough with schoolwork as it is." She handed over the plate of eggs to Aurora as she spoke.

"That's coming soon enough," Hermione told them both. "Right now we are just in preparation for all of those N.E.W.T's."

"Sounds like fun," Pandora said sarcastically as she spread butter on her toast. "I can't wait for those tests." Hermione, Aurora and Remus all smiled as she said this. They were all very good students and they could all see the school year ahead would be filled with lots of studying for all of them.

"It is really important for our future though," Hermione told her friends as she placed bacon onto her plate. "If we don't prepare our future job prospects can suffer." As she said this she thought of how ridiculous it was that she was worrying so much about a future she might not even have in this time. Still she had to think ahead and plan out for the what-ifs of her possible future.

Aurora and Pandora both smirked knowingly. "It means you can spend even more of your time obsessed with the library," Pandora told Hermione. "You practically live there some days anyways."

Hermione choose to ignore this in favor of concentrating on her breakfast. It was true that she spent large amounts of her time in the library. She really always had made it a point of obsessing over the library, which was far and away her favorite place in Hogwarts. She had not been entirely alone in her zeal for the library that year. Regulus Black and her had spent large amounts of their time together studying over the past month and she rather admired his passion for studying and maintaining good grades. It was an interest that had certainly passed Harry and Ron by.

"I think that it is okay to be interested in studying," was Emmeline's quiet input into the conversation.

"Well you spend lots of your time studying as well," Pandora told her cheerily. Hermione smiled at the quiet dark-haired girl. She imagined Emmeline knew a lot about spending time alone reading and studying. Emmeline was more drawn to books and observations than long conversations and she wondered not for the first time whether she had been like that before her mother's passing.

"I actually have to get going to the library," Hermione had the grace to blush. She took two pieces of buttered toast, slung her bag over her shoulder and ignoring the exasperated looks her friends and boyfriend were giving her, headed out of the Great Hall. Along the way she saw James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew heading past her into the hall. James nodded to her as they passed and Hermione offered him a small smile in return. As she walked, she felt her spirits lighten, her bag bumping against her leg as she headed towards the library.

Open entering the library she spotted the familiar dark-haired presence already at their table. "Well how did it go yesterday?" Hermione asked as she sat down, placing her bag in front of her.

"I mixed up some of my Charms," he replied sourly. "That's definitely going to be points off and then there goes my chance of an Outstanding at Charms." Regulus Black, she could see, was not in the best of moods. His Transfiguration notes were spread all over the table with numerous fresh markings on them and his face was set in a way that Hermione had come to know meant that he was very tense.

"Have some toast," she told him, placing the food in front of him.

"I don't need you feeding me," he told her.

"Everyone needs to eat," she told him. "Especially before a big exam." She felt slightly gratified when after a moment's pause he took a piece of buttered toast and bit into it. "Would you like some help studying for Transfiguration before the exam?" she asked kindly as she peered at some of his notes.

"If you wish," he replied haughtily. Hermione found it somewhat amusing and exasperating that he could manage to sound like that even while accepting her help.

"Okay," she said, taking the nearest notes in hand. "Let's start from the beginning." They stayed there for over a half hour studying before he headed to the Great Hall where the tables had been cleared for the Transfiguration exam. After wishing him good lunch, Hermione headed back to the Ravenclaw common room, where she had the unfortunate luck to run into Peter Pettigrew on the way.

"So how was the studying with Sirius's brother?" he asked her, his blue eyes narrowed maliciously.

"Fantastic," Hermione replied coolly. "He is very intelligent. That might be something that passes you by." It was with a savage sort of pleasure that she saw his face flush at the obvious insult.

"What hasn't passed me by is the fact that you're spending so much time with him," Pettigrew replied just as coldly. "Even though you have a boyfriend." He smiled at her. "Who you apparently left at the Ravenclaw table just to spend time with."

"He is my friend," Hermione told him. It was true; she could no longer deny that she regarded the younger Black brother as a friend though this was the first time she had ever said it out loud.

"A friend," Pettigrew repeated. "Have you told him that?"

"He knows that we are just friends Pettigrew," Hermione was starting to get very annoyed, not an unusual occurrence when it came to Pettigrew.

"Oh sure, you consider yourselves just friends," Pettigrew told her. "But I bet Regulus Black doesn't just look at it that way.

Hermione was getting more annoyed as she stared at the small, chubby-faced teenager standing in front of her. It was a relief that James Potter showed up a moment later, making it perhaps the only time that she had ever been happy to see Harry's father.

"Hey Peter, have you seen Sirius?" he asked as he came up to stand beside them.

"No I haven't," Pettigrew replied coldly. "She wouldn't know either," he added maliciously, gesturing toward Hermione. "She only keeps track of where his brother is."

James frowned for a moment in confusion. "What are you on about now?" he shook his head. "Anyway you can help me find Sirius." Hermione wasn't sure but she thought he had shot her a rather searching look before the two walked away.


The next two weeks of school were passed in a whirl of exams and studying. Hermione had hardly time for her friends or Remus. Her relationship with the latter had somewhat cooled after the Hogsmeade trip and Hermione wasn't sure how it had happened but she somehow found there was less time for him than ever. Before she knew it, exams were over and it was the last week of school before breaking for the summer holidays.

There had been a service held at the school for the students who had died. They were having private funerals but the school had wanted to hold a service for them at the end of the school year. The whole school filed out onto the grounds to listen to a service given by Dumbledore and a few relations of the students who died. As she sat between Remus and Pandora, Hermione who had not been to a funeral since the death of her grandmother Rose Granger, felt tears sliding down her cheeks.

Andrew Ryan had been a kind clever boy who had made his own school supplies, who came prepared for class and always had a smile. His family, his friends, Trixie, all stood up to speak of him and how good he was, how kind, how intelligent. But none of that mattered now. Hermione felt ill as she thought of it. She felt ill when she thought of Anna Thompson, a petite blonde girl who was considered by her friends perky and cheerful or Ian Harker, whose mother sobbed during the entire ceremony.

Remus squeezed her hand as she continued to cry quietly. From her other side Pandora took her free hand. From across the lane of seats she could see a row of Slytherin upper years sitting, and her eyes caught the sight of Regulus Black staring at her. Seeing her staring back, he quickly looked away.

She walked into the castle between them later that day, her head on Pandora's shoulder, feeling nearly sick to her stomach with grief over the loss. They said goodbye to Remus and headed to Ravenclaw Tower where Hermione excused herself from a small group of Ravenclaw's standing at the entrance.

She went upstairs and attempted to sleep but there was no sleeping to be had, just an hour of tossing and turning before she got back up and headed downstairs and out of the common room. Unsurprisingly she found herself heading back out on the grounds. To her surprise James Potter was alone on the grounds skipping rocks. Hermione came to stand beside him.

"Knut for your thoughts?' she asked him.

He turned to her and smiled; a look that never failed to bring out the similarities between himself and his son. "It would take a lot more than a knut to get to all of my thoughts."

Hermione smiled in spite of herself. "I feel like that sometimes." She stared out at the lake where the giant squid could be seen splashing a group of first years nearby. "It's been insane these past few months."

"That's an understatement," he told her. He sighed. "I've been so overwhelmed what with my father and what happened at Hogsmeade and I've pretty much just been out of it even with my friends all this time. I think that only Evans…" he paused then. "I imagine she's just being nice though."

"She isn't," Hermione told him. At his look of surprise she continued: "Do you mind if I give you some advice, James?"

He shook his head. "No."

"Lily Evans does like you," Hermione told him. "She likes you, not the guy who pulls pranks or acts arrogant, but the guy who saves students from Death Eaters and is loyal to his friends."

"What are you saying?" he asked her.

"I'm saying that Lily Evans fancies you and you would have a better chance with her if you acted like less of a bully and more of a nice guy."

James stared at her for a moment. "Yeah, I guess you're right," he told her. "If it worked for Remus it might work for me, right?"

Hermione felt a strange lurch in her stomach at the mention of Remus Lupin that she couldn't understand. "I just hope that things turn out all right between you and Lily Evans," she told him.

He agreed. "If things don't work out between you and Remus you will still have a friend in me," he told her. He then grinned cheekily. "Especially if your advice works and things turn out well between me and Evans."

Hermione smiled back. "A friend. I will hold you to that."


The day before school ended saw Hermione back in her favorite spot of the school: the library. As she settled down at her usual table with a book in front of her she could hear rain pattering outside. She felt calm and cheerful as she settled in with a book of wizarding tales. The Headmaster, perhaps realizing that Hogsmeade would not be the best place for her this summer had promised her a room above the Leaky Cauldron. It may not have solved all of Hermione's problems but it at least meant she wouldn't be reliving the same battle every time she stepped out of doors.

She was so caught up in her reading that she didn't notice when Regulus Black entered the library and came up to the table they usually frequented until he settled down next to her.

"Thank Merlin the exams are over," he said with a sigh.

Hermione smiled sympathetically. "How do you think you did?"

"I still think that Charms turned out terribly," he said. "Transfiguration and Potions were probably fine and Defense against the Dark Arts I imagine I will get an Outstanding in." He smirked. "I still probably did best of my year. Most of the students in it are really thick."

"It's nice to see how humble you can be," Hermione told him in amusement.

"Like you're any better," he told her. "You think that everyone requires your help with schoolwork because we are not smart enough to do it all on our own."

"I never said that," she told him. "If I thought that you didn't want my help then I wouldn't have helped you." He said nothing to this. Instead he inspected the spine of her book.

"Still on wizarding tales?" he asked her. "Have you at least acknowledged that they are better than muggle ones?"

"I will not," she told him. "I reserve the right to think that Babbity Rabbity is the stupidest name for a fairytale ever and no one will shake me of it."

For a moment he looked as though he were going to argue, then he stopped himself. "I actually thought so too when I first read the story in first year," he admitted.

Hermione blinked. "You mean you didn't grow up with ol' Babbity?"

"Well no, not really," he told her. "My mother did not like fairy tales and she never read them to me."

Hermione could see that. It would be ridiculous to think that the shrieking portrait she had seen hanging in his ancestral home would ever be the sort to read her sons fairy tales, or sing them lullabies, or tuck them in at night, or anything that her parents had done for her. She remembered now an old story her Nana used to tell her about a Dragon's Grandmother.

"If there was a dragon, he had a grandmother. But you-you had no grandmother! If you had had one, she would have taught you to love fairy tales." It wasn't until she caught him staring at her that Hermione realized she had said that last part aloud.

"That is nonsensical," he told her. "What does that even mean?"

"I'm sorry," Hermione said. "It's just something my Nana used to say about fairy tales. I didn't read the full essay she was quoting until after she was gone." She felt only all the more lonely as she thought back. She wondered if Regulus Black had had a grandmother to read him fairy tales. It didn't seem so.

"I was named for a muggle work of literature," she told him. "William Shakespeare's A Winter's Tale. My parents loved Shakespeare. I told you that you should go and see his work performed someday."

"I told you that I wouldn't be caught dead going to see a muggle show," Regulus Black told her. "I mean it, I don't do muggle things."

"Except for all of the muggle books I got you to read this year," Hermione replied simply. "The Invisible Man for starters…"

"Which I didn't actually like." He told her.

"But you read it," she told him. "I have actually never had someone read something because I've suggested it to them. Especially not if it was something they didn't like to begin with." She smiled at him. "You did though and I appreciate that."

"Well I don't," he told her bitterly. "I'm going home for the summer and with any luck all of your muggle nonsense will leave me and I will be free of you."

Hermione frowned at him. "What exactly do you mean free of me? If you didn't want my help studying you could have told me."

"Like you ever gave me a choice," he told her. "You help me study, you practically throw muggle literature at me and you constantly are around when I don't want you to be." His voice was raised slightly. Madame Pince was looking up at them in annoyance. Catching sight of her, he added in a quieter tone: "Sometimes I really would like if you would just leave me alone."

For a moment there was silence outside of the sound of the rain hitting the windows. "You can have that if you want," Hermione told him. Snatching up her things she got up and stalked out of the library. It was not until she had exited the library that she realized that he had followed her out.

"I don't want," he began but Hermione cut him off.

"What do you want from me?" she asked him. "I try to be friends with you, study with you, try to get you to read different things and I get told sometimes you don't want to be friends with me? What does that even mean? I would like an actual answer that makes sense."

He didn't answer. Instead he leaned in and she didn't realize what was happening until his lips crashed against hers and everything seemed to come to a screeching halt. For a moment she stood there, unsure of what to do as he kissed her, before he had pulled back and was regarding her with embarrassment.

"I'm sorry," he muttered. "I don't know why I…"

What happened next was something Hermione Granger could never have predicated, or wished for, or felt in any way proud of herself given the circumstances. She kissed him back.

It was not like kissing Viktor Krum or Remus Lupin. Though she doubted that Regulus Black could have much more experiences than either of them, he kissed with an eagerness and passion that thrilled her in a way she had never felt before. He was not kissing to please or in bashful nervousness but in pure unadultered lust and she felt his hands on her pulling her to him as though he could meld their bodies together simply by touch, one hand cupping her face, the other possessively entwined around her waist. Her own hands in turn pulled his face towards hers in a searing kiss that left them both breathless by the end.

And then it was done and after the moment was over she felt nothing but sickening shame. "I have to go," was all Hermione managed. She took her bag and left him there outside the library doors staring after her as she turned the corner and vanished from his sight.

End of Part One


So yeah Hermione's not thinking too clearly here or behaving very well. Needless to say things aren't exactly going to be going well for Hermione/Regulus or Hermione/Remus in the near future.

So this is the end of the school year and of part one. Part two will cover year seven and part three will cover Hermione's first year out of school and the events leading up to that delightful encounter with Bellatrix. Hope you are enjoying it so far.