He worked slowly and carefully, keenly aware of his danger. Gradually, as the flame grew stronger, he increased the size of the twigs with which he fed it. He squatted in the snow, pulling the twigs out from their entanglement in the brush and feeding directly to the flame. He knew there must be no failure.- Jack London
It was New Years Eve when Hermione finally got her breakthrough. After Helena Ravenclaw had mentioned sensing the magic of the diadem, she had gotten an idea. She had spent the past week trying to study everything she knew about sensing and summoning items. A simple accio could never do, though she had tried it more than once and in different parts of the castle. Aside from some strange looks from some of the castle's portraits and an angry hiss from Filch's irritable cat, nothing had been achieved here. But she knew that just as the object had to be there somewhere, so must a way to summon it to her.
'Revelio' was her next go to spell but though more potent it didn't seem to work either. Hermione wondered if the item had any spells on it to keep it from being summoned. Perhaps curses had even been used to prevent it from being taken. It was with the wish for more spells that she went to the library but she was in a bind. She did not know if there were any concealing spells she needed to remove in the first place or any curses to combat. She did not even know if the location was one she could reach. The Chamber of Secrets was still on her mind as she mulled this over.
In the end, it was mere happenstance that caused her breakthrough and landed the diadem firmly in her possession.
She had decided that if the library couldn't yield any more books that could help her then she would try the Room of Requirement. The room always had a variety of books to suit the tastes of the various readers who entered there.
It was when she was inside the room looking through a tall shelf filled with books on charms that she got the idea to try to see if the room could help her more directly. Closing her eyes outside the door she paced as she had seen Harry do and thought hard. 'I need to find where Ravenclaw's diadem is. I need to find where Ravenclaw's diadem is.' She opened her eyes and stepped inside the messiest room she had ever seen in the life.
It was a hoarder's fantasy house. Piles and piles of discarded things, books stacked atop one another that looked ready to tip over, bottles of varying sizes, some with liquid still inside them, old school robes, socks and shoes discarded, broken quills, empty ink pots, the wrappings from sweets. How she was supposed to find anything in this mess she did not know. Another summoning charm was employed but did not seem to work. She continued digging around, even finding discarded bits of jewelry that she quickly dismissed as she shifted through them. Finally, she found what she thought she was looking for.
It was a simple silver headpiece that had a blue sapphire shaped like an oval in its center. As far as jewelry goes it was simple yet had an understated elegance about it. She carefully lifted it from its place and cradled it in her arms. A wild desire seized her to try it on and see if it really could boost one's wisdom. Resisting the urge, but with a lingering longing inside her she put it down on a rickety table she found.
It had to be one of his horcruxes, she felt sure of it but why had he brought it here for keeping? Perhaps the lure of having a part of himself forever in the school was too strong for him to resist. Either way she had the diadem and had not had to go to extraordinary lengths to acquire it. Yet that was only half the battle. She was left with two problems before her. One was how she was going to manage to destroy the horcrux. Her readings on it told her that an item made into a horcrux required more than the ordinary object to be destroyed.
On top of that was the part of her that was still nervous of meddling with time. She had already done so much, how much more before she altered the future so completely that her timeline was completely destroyed. Maybe she had already meddled with time too much for things to go back to the way they were.
What could even destroy a horcrux? What magic would be potent enough to achieve the results she wanted to? She picked up the diadem again. It looked so deceptively ordinary, yet when holding it she couldn't help but feel something shift. It wanted her to put it on, of that she was certain. If she did, would something terrible happen or would it simply do what it was supposed to do and enhance her wisdom? She ran her fingers over the smooth silver, imagining the allure this must hold for any Ravenclaw thirsty for more knowledge and wisdom. How had Helena Ravenclaw felt when she went off with this prized possession? It would only take a moment to settle this on her head and catch a glimpse of the true enchantment at play.
Struggling to resist was more difficult than she thought as she shoved it into her bag and headed out of the room. She would not have her answers right then. It needed more careful studying. At the moment she was not even sure it was definitely a horcrux or what it would do if it were one. She thought that Secrets of the Darkest Art had talked about fire being used to destroy the dark spell. She wondered how potent the magical fire would have to be to accomplish her goal and if it was not too dangerous to try.
"Need to sleep on this," she muttered as she left the Room of Requirement. It was near curfew and the halls were deserted. She was tired by the time she made her way back to the Ravenclaw common room. In a few hours it would be a new year. She had been in this time for almost a year and a half and the chances of her getting back home seemed more and more remote by the day. Maybe it was best that she learned to accept this and just gave her all for the war effort here?
She threw herself onto her bed wearily. She could still feel the pull of the diadem from her bag as she fell into an unsettled sleep. In her mind were conflicted thoughts about having the object so nearby.
It influenced her dreams. She dreamt that she was at a tea party with Regulus Black, Lily Evans and the Sorting Hat. On her head sat the delicate diadem, it's silver gleaming. In front of her was an indescribable type of meal that seemed to be chunks of bloody meat. Hermione was ravenous as she consumed the raw concoction. From across from her the Sorting Hat sat silently watching the three humans consume their meal.
"I think I'd just as soon refrain from eating," it was saying as she shoved more food into her mouth.
"You are missing out," Lily told it as she picked at a thin bone, her face red with blood.
"Rose should have most of it," Regulus told her, "She has the diadem and it needs brain nourishment." With that said he shoved a plate in front of her. To Hermione's horror it was a plate filled with brains. She somehow knew without being told that she was eating humans and yet she just kept eating, digging her fingers into the brains in front of her.
"No!" she cried as she dug into the brains. Pieces fell out of her mouth as she screamed. "I don't want it! I don't!" The brains were quickly being consumed by her as she screamed, her mouth filled then with another bloody handful and she nearly choked. "No!"
She was choking for sure, the blankets twisting around her in a vise like grip, a part of the bed hanging caught at her throat. Disentangling herself, she quickly got to her feet, breathing hard. The room was dark and empty, no Sorting Hat, no Lily or Regulus to be seen. She threw herself back on her disheveled bed, her heart beating madly. From the foot of her bed her trunk containing the horcrux stood, its presence ever in her thoughts.
The morning was cold but bright as she headed into the Great Hall for breakfast. Settling at the nearly empty Ravenclaw table she poured herself something to drink, feeling lingering tiredness as she did so. Buttering some toast and taking several pieces of bacon, she started on her breakfast. She could see that a few more of the remaining students had started to trickle in, including Regulus Black, who sat at the Slytherin table with his back to her.
A fire strong enough to destroy a horcrux? Now that was a dicey prospect. She needed to do more studying on that. A book of fire charms could help, as she did not believe incendio alone could get the job done. She would simply bypass the library and make do for the Room of Requirement for her needs. It would be much quicker that way. Finishing quickly, she headed out and made her way back to the familiar corridor. 'I need to find out about fire spells,' she thought as she paced back and forth. A door appeared and she made her way inside and up to a bookcase filled with books on fire spells, both how to cast them and how to repel them. 'Not bad,' she thought as she pulled one down.
It always was a source of comfort for her to have research to do and books to read, even on such a grotesque subject. Hermione was at her best reading and learning new things. She recognized a number of the spells listed as fairly basic. With a blush she saw the book included one she had once used on one of her teachers in her first year. It was over an hour coming when she finally found something truly promising. After searching through several books on fire charms and prevention, she found a book of fire curses.
"Fiendfyre, a cursed fire that can destroy all in its path if unleashed, is one of the most deadly and potent means of destruction in existence," she read to herself. "It is near impossible to control for even an advanced wizard. There is only one charm to stop the spread of the flames, which cannot be stopped with water." She shook her head in disgust as she kept reading. "I can't possibly use that; I'd never be able to stop it." She sighed and marking her place, closed the book. "There has got to be another way." How had Harry destroyed the diary again, with a basilisk fang? How in the world could she get one of those? Would it even work on the diadem the way it worked on the diary? Was it the venom that was strong enough to do the trick? Basilisk venom, that could not be an easy thing to acquire. She could hardly stroll into a shop in Diagon Alley and ask for some basilisk venom. If there was not another option then she would have to try the fire spell. If she did it would need to be where she was sure of not hurting anyone. But how? And when she found the right spot, could she ever hope to control it?
She was still puzzling over the problem when the rest of the students returned from their Christmas holiday. She knew she needed to put it aside for the moment but now that the diadem was in her possession, she found it hard to concentrate on other things for long. Her mind went back to the problem at hand and it spread into her dreams. At night she dreamed that she was wearing it while doing horrible things.
She spent the better part of January this way. Between studying and looking up spells to destroy horcruxes, she had no time for anything else. Her friends noticed her lack of sleep and tried talking to her but she could hardly explain it all. N.E.W. T's they knew she was concerned about but how to tell them that she was debating with herself whether or not to start practicing fiendfyre or looking up things besides basilisk venom that could destroy dark artefacts? These were conversations she could not have with any of them. In the end the choice between a type of poison that she would struggle to get even if she could afford it and a spell she could practice was narrowed down. She had to at least try.
The room of requirement offered her the best space it could, a room with bare walls and nothing flammable. She cast the incantation. "Pestis incendium." Nothing. She got not even a spark. She repeated herself twice while concentrating hard but not even a spark appeared in front of her. Again she tried the spell. Nothing. It was a rare day when Hermione struggled with spells but this one was supremely powerful. She wondered how long it would take to manage. She spent an hour trying over and over before leaving for her common room before curfew. Her mind again conjuring up horror stories of mutilation, death, cannibalism and pain, all while she wore the diadem.
It was the end of January when her friends pulled her aside for an apparent intervention.
"Listen Rose," Pandora began. "We all know you are worried about the N.E.W. T's and we are too but you need a little time to relax and have fun."
"You can always come to us when you feel stressed out," Aurora added kindly. "We could help you."
"I know," she said. "I am not trying to worry you. I just want to do well this year. A lot depends on it."
"At the expense of your health?" Aurora asked. "We don't want to see you getting sick, Rose."
"I am not sick though," Hermione said.
Pandora rolled her eyes. "You barely eat, you have nightmares when you sleep, yes, we can hear you crying out in your sleep Rose. We see you constantly with your books or going off to study on your own instead of resting."
Hermione didn't know what to say. "I just want to do well."
"You will not do well if your health fails," was Emmeline's quiet contribution to the discussion. She was giving Hermione a rather searching look that left her feeling uneasy. "A lot depends on your health."
"I know that," Hermione said. Emmeline always looked as though she could see through the facades that others put up. Hermione sighed. "I want to do well and maybe I just don't balance everything right."
"Well, we can help you," Aurora said brightly. "We will study with you so that if you need a break we will know and make sure you get one. Your health comes first and that includes rest time."
"We definitely mean rest time," Pandora continued. "Sleep included. You have been having obvious nightmares. I get you are stressed but that seems like a lot. Maybe Madame Pomphrey should be consulted?"
"Of course not!" Hermione shook her head. At Pandora's dubious look, she clarified: "You are right that I am stressed and need sleep. I am doing too much at once is all but that will change soon."
"Well, whatever we can do to help you," Aurora said. Hermione felt warmed by the earnest looks of all three. It pained her to have to lie in any way to these girls, who had become great friends of hers in this time period. She could at least make an effort to seem like she took their worries to heart.
"I will try to take better care of my health," she told them. "I promise."
"If you don't, I am taking you to Madame Pomfrey," Pandora told her. "No more late nights studying and not sleeping."
"I will try to sleep more," Hermione told them. She felt a wave of dread when she thought of the dark dreams with the diadem on her head and the destruction in her mind. Then a thought occurred to her. Maybe that was what was necessary to cast the fiendfyre to begin with? Dark magic relied on dark intent, she probably needed to want to destroy something for the curse to work at all.
"I promise to try harder to relax," she said. "The best I can do, really."
She did take care the next few days to relax but it was not easy with the diadem haunting her dreams. On top of that her friends continued to watch her, making it hard for her to get off on her own to practice fiendfyre. It was not until Valentine's Day that she took advantage of her classmates' distractions to settle in the Room of Requirement, this time with new determination in tow. It was time for her to try the spell again.
She could have brought the diadem but a part of her still clung to the idea that she could go home. Destroying any of the horcruxes in this timeline had come to symbolize a closing of that door and she was not ready for that yet. A simulacrum would have to do. It was easy to get the room to conjure up a fake diadem for her to practice with.
"Ok," she took a deep breath. Again, the incantation was cast. Nothing. She looked at the fake diadem, remembering all those nights dreaming horrible things while wearing it. How good it would be to destroy it once and for all. She tried again and thought she saw a small spark. Again and again, she tried. It seemed that sparks were coming more and more frequently now. "It's a nightmare diadem," she told herself. "It's caused all those bad dreams. It wants me to do evil things." More sparks and then more.
Finally she thought she saw real flames coming. Concentrating on the fake diadem, she cast again. There were flames this time, indistinct at first and then taking shape. The appearance of an eagle, Ravenclaw's mascot formed and hit the diadem. It melted in front of her. Hermione let out a little cheer as she saw this. Her cheer died in her throat when she saw the fiery bird turn back around towards her.
"No," she cast the counter-curse but it was too late. The fiery eagle hit her left-hand dead on. She just managed to extinguish it before collapsing to the ground. The worst pain she had ever felt in her life had consumed her hand and lower arm before darkness enveloped her.
It was hours before she could drag herself to her feet and out of the room. She was near sobbing as she made her way through the halls. Even with the spell reversed, her left hand and arm were badly burned. They were already likely irreversibly damaged. How fast they would scar over and how her hand would be she did not know. She knew she would have no choice but to go to Madame Pomfrey. Even reversing the spell and stopping the flames could not stop any damage caused by the fire.
It was not her night for luck though. As she neared the infirmary, she ran into Regulus Black on prefect duties. His momentary look of surprise was quickly masked by a look of haughtiness.
"Perkins," he said coldly. "It is past curfew; I should give you a detention."
"Ok, she replied. She was exhausted and in the worst pain of her life and here he was talking about curfew. She could laugh until she cried. It took all she had to keep from swaying on her feet as she dealt with the intense pain.
"Where exactly have you been that required you to be out this long," he continued in his usual haughty voice. "I was in the library not long ago and you certainly weren't there."
"I was studying," she told him. "There are other places besides the library to do that in."
"Get back to your common room, Perkins," he said. "Or I will give you a detention for impertinence."
She sighed. "Fine by me." She started to walk past him when he suddenly stopped her.
"Perkins, your hand!" His grey eyes had widened at the sight of it. He reached for her hand and she was too slow to draw it away. Her eyes watered in pain as he touched it.
"Don't," she said breathlessly. "It hurts enough."
He stared at her hand in shock. His expression then grew serious as he looked up at her. "Who did this," he suddenly demanded.
"What?" Hermione should have guessed he would think someone had done this. No one could surely be stupid enough to harm themselves this way. "No one."
"Why are you lying?" he had let go of her hand. "Lumos," the bright light from his wand lit up the burned hand so he could see it better. "This is serious, we need to get you to the infirmary. Is it just this hand…no your arm is burnt too. Maybe you will tell Madame Pomfrey or Flitwick more than you have told me."
Hermione didn't answer. She winced when he reached for her but he simply took her uninjured hand in his own. "Come on Perkins." His touch was firm yet gentle as they walked, the pain bad enough that Hermione felt again near collapse. They had almost reached the infirmary when she tugged on his hand.
"Stop!" He turned surprised eyes on her as she leaned against the stone wall. "I need a minute," she was in such pain she could cry again but she struggled to hold the tears in. Somewhere in her head she could remember Ginny Weasley's words about not letting the boys see them cry. She was not crying over Regulus Black though but over herself, her foolishness, her lack of sleep, the nightmares and stress, the physical pain and above all the loneliness of doing it all alone.
"Perkins…" he seemed at a loss for what to say. "Rose!" At his using her first name, she looked up, her brown eyes filled with tears.
"I messed up," she said to him. "On a lot of things."
"No, you didn't," he replied. "I did. Now let's get you to the infirmary. He linked her uninjured arm through his and they walked the rest of the way, her leaning slightly on him. "I'll fix it somehow," he continued as they walked. She didn't have a clue what he meant by any of that and was in too much pain to work it out.
The infirmary was dark and empty but Madame Pomfrey's office was lit. Hermione sat on one of the chairs while Regulus went to wake up the school healer. Madame Pomfrey looked in shock as she saw Hermione's hand. "What in Merlin's name have you done to yourself?" she asked. Hermione was still silently crying as she struggled to pull her burnt robe's sleeve back so the arm could be better seen.
"I messed up," Hermione repeated breathlessly. From her right-hand side Regulus shook his head. The pain was intolerable, she felt her right hand squeezing Regulus's as though looking for assurance. She was given a potion for the pain while her arm and hand were inspected. She was not surprised to be told that she needed to stay in the infirmary until Madame Pomfrey could consult with a healer from St. Mungo's. There was little else she heard after that, for at some point she passed out into mercifully dreamless sleep.
She was surprisingly lucky not to lose her hand. Though the burns were severe and would have to heal the slow way, Hermione was going to still have a hand if she took her potions she had been given and gave her hand a chance to recover. Feeling too exhausted to argue, she spent the next week in the hospital, where she eventually badgered her friends enough to bring her school books so she could catch up.
All they knew is that she had gotten burned trying to practice potions for N.E.W.T level. Though she wondered how much any of them believed her, particularly Emmeline when Hermione saw her expression when she told them this, they were good enough to act as though they bought it. There were too other people she had to deal with though who would not be so easily swayed away from the truth.
Hermione had received a visit from an unusually grave looking Professor Dumbledore, who told her she was to come see him as soon as she felt better. She wondered how much he had already put together and what exactly she would tell him. That he was told by the healer from St. Mungo's that this was dark magic she already knew but would he know how responsible she was for the accident?
Regulus Black was even harder to get rid of. Since the Valentine's Day from hell he had made it a point to see her every day in the infirmary. He still did not believe she had damaged her hand from any potions mishap and unlike her other friends, he had no qualms about telling her so.
"That was dark magic," he said one day when they were alone. "I don't know why you are hiding it. Whoever did this should be held responsible for it."
"Maybe I did it to myself," she told him in exasperation.
He glared at her. "I don't find this funny, Rose."
Rose. She was Rose this past week as much as she was Perkins. She wondered if he realized he was doing this.
"Well, that's two of us then," she replied. "Because I don't find it very funny either." She was still in a lot of pain but she had been informed that this was normal.
"Why are you so stubborn?" he asked her. "You must have a very horrible enemy. Didn't you spend part of last year in the infirmary with some kind of sickness too?"
'How in the world did he know of that?' Hermione shook her head. "No relation to this." 'That one actually had been an outside source.'
"Did you do that one to yourself too?" he asked sarcastically.
"No, just this one," she replied. "I was testing my pain threshold."
His glare could bore a hole through walls. "I fail to find any of this amusing. That could have hurt you worse. You could have been seriously hurt or killed."
"And you wouldn't want to see an old friend harmed?" Hermione asked slyly. He froze. "We are at the very least friends even if you spent most of the year denying it."
"So fine," he said in a petulant voice. "I take back what I said. We are friends and friends are honest with each other. So, what really happened?"
Hermione could have laughed. She had walked into that one.
She was not laughing when she was in Dumbledore's office later.
