Chapter 31

I huddled in the bathroom stall, making myself as small as possible as the swell of nausea persisted, getting worse with each thought of what had just happened. The smell of Japanese cuisine was trapped inside the stall, not even having the time to go to the sink and wash myself off. Miso soup trickled down my arm, the fishy smell only making my nausea worse as I picked fried flakes of chicken cutlet off of my dress. Once again my nerves had gotten the better of me and had given me tunnel-vision. I screwed my eyes shut. I couldn't stop seeing the looks everyone had given me- Izuku's most of all. It cycled over and over in my head like a broken record, unending and without breaks. What was worse was that I had left without an explanation and probably come off as even more rude. Any excuse I could have given was too embarrassing to explain and would do nothing to erase the fact that I had knocked over most of the food on that table. Hot tears welled up behind my eyelids but refused to fall as violent shivers wracked through my body.

Get it together, Blake! Izuku's going to think you tried to ditch him! You need to go out there and fix this! Normal people do this all the time. So suck it up and stop feeling anxious starting now! I reprimanded myself over and over. The longer I sat here dwelling on it, the longer they'd wonder about where I was and why I wasn't there to help clean up my mistake, but anytime I tried to get up and leave the bathroom, my guts tore into me like they were trying to shred me from the inside out, and I ended up returning right back to square one. I took a deep breath and focused my energy into what I was doing right now rather than tackle what came later.

There is no emotion, there is peace...

There is no emotion, there is peace...

There is no-

"Argh!" I clenched my fists against my face, not feeling any less calm or nauseated. I reached for my phone, but was rewarded with no bars- there would be no watching Friends to help me this time. Too anxious to draw, I shoved my noise cancelling headphones on and began scrolling through my iPod. My most played songs like "Scarborough Fair" and Owl City's "Enchanted" felt like utter jokes at this point, being love songs of declaration and romantic favors. I needed music that could transport me somewhere else, white noise that would help clear my head. Unfortunately my iPod couldn't support the size of a ten hour recording of ocean waves, so I settled with "Dearly Beloved II" and listened to the ocean waves rushing in the background, acting as my focal point. I made it about thirty seconds before I felt sick again, reminded that I had wanted to sing Kingdom Hearts music to Izuku to show off my Japanese skills and subtly convey that I liked him through Utada Hikaru's lyrics of "Oath" like some cheesy rom-com. Instead I chose another title theme for a video-game menu: Fire Emblem Fates.

It had been years since I had been in that phase of my life, back when I had just graduated from college and my only worry was finding a full-time job, but after hearing the first measure of music, it greeted me like an old friend, enveloping me in the quiet, lonely melody as I imagined slowly sinking underwater until I was cradled by cool, calm waters at the bottom of the sea, drifting and aimless. I crooned the only line of music, a leitmotif of the main theme, over and over like a mother would to calm her crying infant before it faded back to the sound of waves underwater. I couldn't honestly tell you how many times I listened to that one track, only that I sang that single line of music every time.

Once I felt calm enough that I could handle being away from the restroom for a few minutes, I left the stall, feeling exhausted, sore, and all kinds of gross. Leaning over the sink, I stared at my reflection and sighed. The gunk left on my skin had crusted over and the Cinderella magic my sister had worked on me had definitely worn off by now. Unable to take the hot sensation of my long hair on my neck any longer, I tugged it back into a ponytail with an old, stretched out hair-tie with a matted ball of hair at the end of it I kept in my purse for emergencies and got to work. I began wetting paper towels in the sink before rubbing them all over my arms and chest. A pool of sake was stained down the front side of my dress, appearing like I had spilled water all over myself because of the dark fabric if not for the strong smell that lingered.

My nose wrinkled. Forget shower, I needed a whole damn bath to get this off, clothes included. I paled at a new realization. How was I going to explain to my mom why I smelled like booze when I came home stumbling and disheveled? I didn't even drink! Thoughts of jumping into the ocean and sinking to the bottom drifted into my mind. That would certainly solve things. Maybe I could say I fell in the water after falling off of a bridge because I walked to close to the edge and that was why I had come home soaking wet- no that would create more problems than excuses and white lies could cover. Doing the best I could, I blotted at the alcoholic smell before feeling the inevitable creep of nausea. Then I promptly returned to the bathroom stall- a different one than last time -before purging again, ironically feeling a little more clean than before.

As ten minutes turned to twenty, the smaller the window of opportunity of when it was socially acceptable to return to a room you had been missing from became. According to Aggretsuko and The Girl Who Leapt Through Time, karaoke rooms were supposed to have time limits- that was what the phone on the wall was for, ordering food and telling the room they had five minutes left. After how I'd left things, I doubt they'd paid for the extra hour. Chances were they had all already left and gone home. Maybe I'd get lucky and no one would be there. It was disheartening that I had ruined the party to that effect, but it came at such a relief that I wouldn't have to confront anybody about it. It was likely I'd never see any of them ever again, becoming that one funny story they told at other parties that they could laugh at and bond over.

Feeling perky enough to at least make it to the train station, I was just starting to dry off my hands when I heard voices outside of the restroom. Whatever they were discussing sounded fairly heated as the gruff sounding one laid into the second, much more timid voice.

"...ind her yet?"

"No, I checked everywhere. I tried texting her, but there's no service in here either." I realized in an instant that the voices must have belonged to Izuku and Bakugou. Was Izuku looking for me? It made sense, since I had been gone for awhile and left with no explanation. Touched by the sentiment, I also felt that familiar tug of self-loathing on my heart and decided against stepping outside, wanting to hide a little bit longer until I no longer had an audience.

"Why'd you invite her here anyways?"

"I didn't. She just showed up with her sister. I couldn't turn them away." A cold chill ran down my spine, quelling the white hot nausea I had been feeling as Izuku's words turn my veins to ice. I was such an idiot, thinking that this party was anything more than a get-together. Not only that, I had committed the exact fatal mistake I had done years ago- I had been inconsiderate and invited myself to another birthday party because of miscommunication and poor assumptions. I had proven my mother right.

'You are just like your father.'

"You're such a pushover, you know that? Don't even have the balls to tell your amazon girlfriend that she got the dates mixed up," Bakugou grunted.

"I told you already, it's not like that."

"Then what is it like?"

"I..." I leaned forward with some interest but was disappointed as Izuku continued apologizing. "It's my fault, okay? Just don't take it out on Alyssa. It's not her fault."

"Don't tell me what to do, shitty nerd! I'm not mad at her. I pissed off because you out of all people shouldn't be giving me advice about relationships right now. You're the one that still hasn't been totally honest with her." My fists clenched at my sides until my knuckles turned white, their words like being stabbed in the chest with hot pokers. I knew I wasn't welcome, that I was the one in the wrong in assuming anyone could like someone like me. I had only imagined Izuku's affections and misinterpreted them as affection, caught up with illusions of grandeur that anyone could possibly love me more than just a friend. Now Bakugou was chewing him out for being dishonest with his intentions by leading me on. I could see the subtext. 'Stop leading her on and just dump the bitch already.' But Izuku-! But Izuku-!

It was then that I marched towards the door and shoved it open, revealing myself to their startled faces.

"Alyssa-!" said Izuku, so full of a relief that my vengeful tirade was momentarily shaken.

"So sorry to interrupt your trash talking of me. What was it you weren't being honest with me about, Izuku? Was it the fact that I wasn't really wasn't invited to Bakugou's birthday party?" I interjected, a rueful bittersweet smile stretched on my face. "Or was it the fact that I thought this was a date? Please enlighten me."

"...Out of all the places you looked trying to find her, you forgot to check the women's restroom?" Bakugou let out what would have been an exasperated sigh. On him, it just looked like mild irritation.

"I did! No one answered!" Izuku defended. I thought about the noise cancelling headphones and chalked that up to another moment where I'd made things more complicated than they needed to be and inconvenience everyone around me. "Alyssa, I can explain-!"

"Okay, you know, it's one thing to bash me behind my back for making a stupid mistake-" I cut him off before turning my glare onto Bakugou, "-but it's another one entirely to just take it out on your best friend."

Bakugou's eyes narrowed, his face impassive and expressionless. "I thought I was supposed to be one of your favorite heroes." Blood rushed into my cheeks, wondering if he also spoke English before I channeled my panic it into a harsher glare.

"You are, but that doesn't mean I have to like you as a person," I growled. "I'm sorry for barging in and ruining your birthday party. That was incredibly rude of me and was completely my fault, I'll admit that. But that doesn't justify you to act like such an ass to Izuku. He was just being a nice guy."

"You sure run hot and cold. First you chew the nerd out and now you're defending him? Why do you care?"

"I just do, okay?! I can't help it!" I snarled, still shivering from exertion and adrenaline. "Thank you for putting up with me and not inviting me to the party. It was nice while it lasted. Keep up the good work. Don't wait up for me. I'll see myself out." I stormed off, wanting to ask a million questions but resigned myself to ignoring them for the sake of saving face.

"Alyssa wait!" I heard Izuku call back, footsteps falling fast behind me.

"What?" I scowled, too furious to hold back my anger even at the sight of his hurt and adorable face. "Why are you still even here? I'm sure everyone else has left. Haven't I done enough to ruin your evening?"

"I was worried about you! I wanted to make sure you were okay. You were gone for a long time. I thought you were off crying in an alley somewhere or something bad had happened to you!"

"...I wasn't crying," I pouted glumly, staring holes into the beige carpet. Guilt and self-loathing settled like a rock in the pit of my stomach. "Sorry for being such an inconvenience to you."

"You're not an inconvenience..." he said, concern etched on his face as his frown deepened. "Are you okay?"

"'Am I okay?' Am I okay?" I said, almost delirious with laughter. "Of course, I'm not okay! I'm angry and embarrassed and hurt! I feel like the biggest (fucking) idiot that I actually got dressed up for something that I wasn't even invited to! Why did you even let me stay? Was it funny to go along with my misunderstanding and then laugh about it with your friends when my back is turned?"

"I-"

"What's worse is that you went along with it, being all close to me all evening, with your touches and hand holding, only for me to find out from Bakugou, my (fucking) idol, that it wasn't even a date! Am I just a big joke to you? Is it funny to pretend that you like the huge American girl only to stab me in the back?"

"I DO LIKE YOU!" Izuku declared with a fierce intensity. He had never raised his voice like that around me before. Shocked by that fact alone, my mind also doubled back on what he had said, trying to think back to the different ways for saying 'like' in Japanese. Unlike English, Japanese was very subtle with its wording, 'like' and 'love' and 'friend' being particularly complicated and intricate. The version he had used was actually one of the first words I had ever learned in Japanese: suki, a word you only meant for a declaration for liking someone more than a friend.

Even now, I was questioning on whether or not he meant to say it like how I had translated it. I didn't dare hope for more. Wanting more than what I had often lead to heartbreak, to people having power over you and your emotions. I shouldn't have wanted more than Izuku being my friend, but I did. I wanted it so badly like I wanted most things: one hundred percent or not at all. When I wanted something, I always pushed to get it, even if I didn't deserve it. I pushed and I pushed and just kept pushing until I either ruined whatever I touched or it was mine. Izuku I felt like I deserved even less. He was too good to be true, and thus always felt out of reach, an unattainable goal that I was unworthy of; people like him didn't like people like me. But now, I was at a crossroads. I could reach out and seize what I wanted or I could chicken out and settle for friendship like I had done with Ian, like I had done with Ben. Like I had done with SmallMight39.

"Say what you really mean, Izuku. Be straight with me, otherwise I'm just going to misunderstand it again." I held my breath like I was gambling at a Blackjack table that sat on the edge of a cliff. Either I bet it all and ruin yet another good thing by wanting more or settle for less. All in or out. I took the plunge. "The day we were going to hangout... was it supposed to be a date?"

Izuku paused. His face turned several shades of red as he stared down at his thumbs as they twiddled anxiously. "...Yes."

"Oh... Good. Glad to have that cleared up." I cleared my throat, trying to hide the relief and burst of elation behind my hands.

"Did you... want it to be a date?" Izuku asked cautiously, glancing up from his fingers as they laced themselves together, squeezing until his knuckles turned white.

Now I was the one who couldn't look him in the eye. I turned my gaze on a wall hanging behind him of that one famous Japanese painting of a wave I could never remember the name of. "Well uhh... kinda? I guess I wouldn't have minded if it was."

"Really?" The hopeful note in his voice was so warm and comforting that I couldn't help the nervous smile that stretched across my face.

"Yeah. Granted it wasn't a very good first one," I admitted in a rush, feeling like I was stumbling over my words, "but first dates are supposed to be awkward, right? I think that's a rule in the book of dating or something."

Izuku shyly rubbed the back of his neck. "I wouldn't know. I uhh... haven't really been on a date before."

"What? That's- That's ridiculous! You're totally adorable!"

"A-Adorable?!" he exclaimed, the tips of his ears burning bright red.

"Yes, adorable! Cute! So fluffy I wanna die!" I declared with gusto, now that the cat was out of the bag. "I'm shocked that I even have to tell you this. How have you not been on a single date before?"

"Umm well I was never that popular growing up, being the hero nerd with no Qui- I mean friends! -and I guess didn't really think about doing that sort of thing since it never really was an option for me-" Izuku muttered, rambling and nervously fidgeting with his fingers.

"I guess that makes sense... What I can't understand is why you would ever want to go out with me. I'm not..." In my mind and judging from past experiences, I had so many unlikeable traits- tall, rude, loud, overweight, selfish, and lazy to name a few -that if separate, people would have just called you quirky. But stacked together they created an undesirable person that would only attract other undesirables. Which made me question exactly what was wrong with Izuku, someone who was selfless, sweet, cute, and genuinely kind, a bright light in the darkness. He was the truest essence of a hero- everything that I wasn't. "I'm not like you."

"What are you talking about? Of course you're not like me. You're you. You're kind, passionate, and one of the most genuine people I've ever met."

"What? No I'm not." I denied almost instantly.

"Yes you are. You're also confident, self-assured, and not afraid to speak your mind."

"That confidence is fake! I just adopt a fake-it-til-you-make-it attitude!"

Izuku continued on like he hadn't heard me. "You're also really talented with your art and music and you're a really good singer, and you know a ton of facts about things-"

"Useless trivia no one cares about and stuff that tons of people are better at than me!"

"You're also humble, pretty, and caring enough to look out for earthworms lying on the sidewalk and help a complete stranger reach for something on the top shelf."

"That's-! You-!"

"You're also-"

"Oh my god, stoooop! I get it! I get it! Please stop! I can't handle this much positive feedback!" I squealed behind my hands, trying to hide the strange twisting motion my mouth was making. I peeked out from between my fingers. "...you really mean that?" Somehow asking like that felt like I was fishing for compliments. Izuku muttered, his brief stint of bravery having warn off as he nodded. I felt my stomach turn, deciding to rain on the moment the instant I had become complacent.

"What's wrong?" Izuku asked, probably noticing how pale I had gotten.

"I'm fine. My stomach just... doesn't agree with me at the moment."

"Oh no, are you sick? Did you get food poisoning?"

"No, it's nothing like that! This happens all the time. It'll pass eventually."

"Oh... I'm sorry."

Touched by his concern, I did everything I could not to cry right then and there. "No... I'm the one that should be sorry," I apologized, positively mortified that I had to explain this. "I shouldn't have come here."

"No, it's my fault for choosing such a bad location for our date."

"It's not your fault."

"No it is. I should have been more clear about when I said we were going out. When I saw you show up with your sister, I didn't want to embarrass you by telling you to go home."

"Well, that backfired," I chuckled sardonically before it turned into a dry sob. "Damn it. I wanted this evening to go so well, more than anything. I was looking forward to it all day. I barely had at anything to eat today, hoping that that would be enough to prevent this from happening, but apparently that wasn't enough."

"I had no idea... I'm sorry."

"Don't be! Izuku, you have absolutely nothing to be sorry for! You didn't know it would- you have to understand that this-" I gestured to myself in large circle. "-was going to happen with or without you here."

"I don't understand..."

"It's not you, it's me- as cliché as that is to say. I have this... condition where whenever I'm introduced to a new situation, like a new location or an abrupt change of plans. It causes me to be really bad at social cues and become overstimulated by things no normal person would be affected by, like bright lights or sounds. I get anxious and that stress causes me to deal with massive stomachaches and nausea that sometimes leaves me in and out of the bathroom for hours. It gets worse if I've eaten rich or spicy food. I'm just..." Shut the hell up, Blake! He doesn't want to know the disgusting details of your fucked up digestive track! "...ugh! This is so embarrassing to talk about!" I buried my face into my hands, wanting nothing more than to disappear. "Married couples try to go years before having to deal with talking about this kind of stuff! I completely understand if this experience ruins you from ever wanting to talk to me again."

His calloused hand rested on my shoulder and gave it a light squeeze. "Alyssa, it's okay. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. As far as stomachaches go, I have a friend of mine who goes through something similar."

"Really? You have a friend who has anxiety induced nausea?"

"Well... no, but overusing his Quirk causes him intense tummy aches, so I'm sure he goes through something similar," Izuku said. "You could have said something. We could have gone somewhere else, somewhere you felt more comfortable."

"But this was your friend's birthday party- (fucking) Ground Zero's birthday party," I said, tugging clumps of my hair that hung freely over my shoulders. "You seemed to be looking forward to it so much. I didn't want to ruin that by leaving or asking you to leave. Isn't it a major dating faux pas to tell the guy on the first date that the location he picked was terrible because I have stomach problems and can't handle eating rich food because it stresses me out?"

"I don't know. Like I said before, I don't really have a lot of experience when it comes to dating. I just figured that going out to karaoke was what you did on a date."

"I know, right?! Like who decided that going out on a date means going to a nice restaurant, feeling uncomfortable in clothes you never wear, and eating food you can barely pronounce?"

"To tell you the truth, I would have been fine with just an evening at home playing video-games or a walk in the park."

"See? That sounds like a fun time out. Maybe walking on the beach or doing something nerdy, like what we did at the hero museum. That was fun." I said exasperated.

"You want to go to the beach?"

"At some point. You have to understand that I lived in a land-locked state surrounded by nothing but fields and flat terrain, so seeing a whole horizon where there's just nothing but blue ocean is- I don't know -it's really calming. Water's always had that kind of effect on me, I suppose," I mused aloud, hearing the wistful notes of "Dearly Beloved" playing on piano. I couldn't wait for summer. "Optionally, which direction is the closest way to the beach? I don't want to go there yet. I just want to know if it's close to my commute."

If Izuku was perplexed by the abrupt change in subject, he didn't show it as he considered my question. "Umm... I'm not sure. I think maybe south from here, probably near Chiba?"

"Gotcha," I said, mentally calculating the distance from my rental car job before adding as an after-thought, "And for the record, I'm not exactly experienced in this either. Dating, I mean."

"Then we can be nervous together."

"Nervous wrecks for the win!" I fist pumped the air and earned a laugh from Izuku. His rosy cheeks really did make the freckles on his face pop. "So you really don't mind changing our date?"

"Not at all. Dates are supposed to be fun, right? There's no point in doing something if it only makes you miserable. It doesn't matter what we do. I just want to do something with you. I want to have a good time, and I want you to have a good time too." He smiled, making my stomach twist for a different reason. "Now that that's settled, do you want to do something now? We can go somewhere else to eat, somewhere you feel more comfortable."

"Thank you, Izuku, but honestly, I kinda just want to go home," I grinned in exhaustion, still feeling a tug of nausea. "No offense. I appreciate the thought though. Sorry again that I ruined our date."

"Please, you didn't ruin anything. I'm just sorry that you're not feeling well."

"Yeah. Me too."

I hated feeling this way, like I needed to run to the bathroom when all I wanted to do was hold his hand. I had to do something to compensate for this, especially since Izuku tried so hard to salvage the date. Damn it! Just do it and get it over with! I reached out and grasped onto his right hand, causing whatever he had been saying before to abruptly go silent. Was I making him uncomfortable by being so forward? I know I would have liked it if someone had suddenly reached out and grabbed my hand, but maybe it was wrong of me to assume that everyone felt the same way as I did- My thoughts were silenced as he squeezed my hand back in a way that made my heart swell. His hand felt unique to other hands that I had held or shook. His fingers were calloused and bonier than I had expected, longer, like the joints were elongated and slightly crooked. His whole hand had a series of scars running up that made his hand feel bony and crooked that was unique only to him.

I suddenly found myself unable to linger in the moment a second longer, only able to hang onto his hand for a few more seconds before letting go. "A-Anyways, I should probably take off."

"Okay, I'll walk you home."

"Thanks, but I live about forty minutes from here and I have a feeling I'll be making various rest-stops at the train station bathrooms," I admitted with a disappointed smile, feeling bad for denying him a genuinely legitimate reason to hang out with him longer for an already cut-short evening. I was probably making him feel unwanted and like he had barely done anything.

"You mean your tummy still feels bad?"

"...It's a vicious cycle," I admitted with some hesitance. Izuku's brow furrowed, his fingers pinching his lower lip, something I noticed he often did when in deep thought.

"I might have an idea, but I have to ask: are you afraid of heights?"

"Terrified. Why?"

"Oh... Well, nevermind then."

"What? What is it? Go ahead."

"Well... I was going to suggest that we jump all the way home using my Quirk, since it's the fastest way to travel, but maybe it's not such a great idea after all. I don't want to make your anxiety worse by making you have to experience something you're afraid of."

"That's very sweet of you. I'll admit, your offer is... very tempting." I bit my lip. It really was. I would get home way faster, which would appease my anxiety, and I could hang out with Izuku a little bit longer. After much deliberation and swallowing all of my fear, I mustered up my remaining courage and said, "Oh what the hell- let's do it. If it can get me home fast, then I'll take two minutes of panic over having to take two extra hours to get home just to wait for my nerves to calm down."

"Are you sure?" he asked. I nodded, already beginning to regret my choice.

"Yes. Let's just do it before I change my mind. If I think too much about it, the anticipation will only make my anxiety worse."

"Right. Okay then. Let me just pick you up and we'll be off."

"Didn't you already do that? Otherwise, I don't think I would be here right now on a date with you," I joked in an effort to lighten the mood and make myself less nervous, unable to keep myself from teasing him. His ears turned pink as he put arm around my waist. Suddenly, I felt as hot as he looked, feeling especially self-conscious and clunky since I was so tall as well as plus-sized.

"I'm sorry if I weigh too much for you," I mumbled as he held me in a bridal carry. Strength Quirk or not, I had to weigh a ton to him.

"Not at all. You're light as a feather."

"You're sweet for lying."

"I'm serious. If I can't handle carrying heavy loads like people, then what kind of pro-hero am I?" Izuku declared with an adamant expression before he realized exactly what he had said and quickly stammered, "N-Not that I think you're heavy! I've dealt with way worse, 'cause I work out and have moved heavier stuff like refrigerators and trucks and- not that I'm saying you weigh as much as a truck! I mean-!"

"It's okay. I get it. Trust me, I'm very much aware of how big I am," I smiled in a self-deprecating manner as Izuku continued to put his foot into his mouth. "Makes shopping for clothes an absolute nightmare. The world just can't handle all of this." I gestured to myself, causing my date to pause at my sudden display of confidence. His expression softened as he shifted his hold on me.

"I hope you know that I don't think of you that way. I think you're perfect just the way you are."

"W-Well alright then. I just hope you know what you're getting into." Damn, Izuku. You said that so effortlessly!

"I'll take that as a challenge. Hold on tight, okay?" I nodded and wrapped my arms around his neck, digging my fingernails into my palms in anticipation. "Make sure to keep your mouth closed."

"Wha-" Suddenly, we were off like a shot! The sheer force of the jump caused my face to ripple from the wind pressure, somehow sucking the volume of my scream out of me like it was stealing my breath. The view to the ground was breath-taking. Literally. The only thing I was feeling other than immense terror was guilt for causing so much trouble for Izuku, who had probably just gone deaf from my shrill screaming.

"Where do you live?" Izuku shouted over the wind.

"YOU'RE ASKING THAT NOW!?" I shrieked, unable to contain my frantic disbelief. Were we floating!? Or was this what weightlessness felt like? Realizing that Izuku was still waiting on an answer, I yelled, "TAKODANA PREFECTURE AT THE ATOLLON APARTMENT COMPLEX!"

"Okay! Hang on!" With another burst of speed, Izuku dropped towards the roof of another building to change direction and kicked off, launching himself over skyscrapers in a single bound.

Maybe if I closed my eyes and didn't think about how high up we were, it would help me cope better. I tested it out for a few seconds and- NOPE! Closing my eyes was worse! My eyes shot open as I resolved to just bury my face into his neck and shoulder, searching for something solid to ground myself onto. They were covered with even more freckles, only smaller and much less noticeable. Sparks of green lightning licked off of his skin, but passed harmlessly through me.

Once I was over the first few jumps, I began to anticipate when we would be in free-fall and managed to get my screams down into a mere whimper.

"Hold on! We're almost there! Just a little bit longer," I heard Izuku say through the rumbling of his chest, feeling his grip tightening around my waist. The gut-wrenching free-fall made my insides clench, but the cold night air and the knowledge I was going to be home in a matter minutes kept the nausea at bay. The way Izuku held onto me as he leapt across entire buildings in a single bound made me feel so secure, like a safety bar on a wild roller-coaster. Since when was he this strong?

Finally like all rollercoaster rides, it had ended as quickly as it had began. We landed in front of a stairway that hid the ground level apartment from view and the energy running across his skin dissipated.

"Okay, we're here," Izuku announced before turning his head towards me. "You okay?"

"Just... give me a minute," I managed to gasp out. I closed my eyes and tried taking a few deep breathes to get my bearings. Once I felt less like I was going to melt into a pile of goo, a thought had crossed my mind that I could pretend I was still panicking so I could still have a moment longer of being held in his arms. A greedy part of me wanted to do just that. It had been so long since I had been held by another person, and he smelled so nice. Whatever he was wearing for cologne was so soothing, like breathing in a cool, icy breath-mint that it kept my anxiety at bay. However, the guilt of possibly taking advantage of his kindness won out as I, with some reluctance, relinquished my hold on him. He gently lowered me to the ground and my feet touched solid earth as a breath I didn't know I was holding released all of my tension all at once. A nervous laugh built up in my chest before I let it out in a series of nervous giggles. "Oh my god, that was insane."

"I'm sorry if I scared you. I promise not to do it again... unless you want me to."

"Yeah. Maybe we only do that for emergencies," I laughed uneasily. "Save it for the dates where my stomach isn't in knots."

"So... does that mean there will be future dates?"

"I'd like there to be. I mean, we never had our first date, so..." I trailed off, my eyes unfocused. "Sorry again for causing you so much trouble."

"You're no trouble at all. It's a hero's job to help people in need, and I like to be needed." My face grew especially hot at that declaration, especially with how cute his smile was, which was only emphasized by the close proximity of my face and his. Goddamn. His freckles were adorable, like symmetrical diamonds. They made his cheeks look just so kissable. The sudden impulse to kiss his cheek struck me and I decided to go for it as I leaned in. That was all ruined when he turned his face towards me in the exact moment I went in for a kiss, catching the corner of his mouth instead. A strangled noise was caught in his throat, having gone rigid from my sudden PDA.

"Sorry! I was trying to go for a cheek kiss but you turned your head and-" I babbled.

Izuku's mouth opened and closed, trying to find the words but everything came out inaudible. "N-No p-problem!"

"-and you moved so-" I licked my lips. He tasted sweet like... I broke off. "Why do you taste like syrup?"

"Huh... Oh ah well I tried your waffles," he admitted, flustered and jittery.

"You did?"

"Yeah. Kacchan shared them with the group when you left. For the record, everyone loved them."

"Really?"

"Yep. They kinda taste like a red bean bun, only without the bean paste."

"I'm glad you liked them." I smiled, now wanting to make a mountain of waffles for him. Then a thought occurred to me. These were people Izuku likely had known at least since high school, people who were part of the hero track, which meant...

"Izuku, be straight with me. Your friends at the party- they're all pro-heroes, aren't they?"

"Umm.. yes?"

"Are all your friends pro-heroes?"

"No- well... yeah pretty much."

"Great. Is there anything else I should know? Are any of them moonlighting as models or jet-ski enthusiasts?"

"Nothing that extravagant," Izuku smiled before cutting himself off mid-thought, "-although, I think Yaoyorozu does model on occasion for commercials."

"Oh my god..." I let out a breathy laugh of disbelief. "What the hell, Midoriya? If I knew I was going to be hanging out with a bunch of famous pro-heroes, I would have worn something nicer and not talked so much about their Quirks."

"You don't need to do that. I think you look beautiful just the way you are." All that followed that statement was a noise that sounded like a cross between a small wheeze and a squeak and a long stream of babbling that even I couldn't translate.

"Well, I did before I was covered in chicken katsu and soba."

"You umm... you actually still have something in your hair," he pointed to his own head. Rather than let me fumble around for a few minutes to comb through my own hair, he reached up and plucked a cherry blossom petal out from the right side by my ear. The loose strand of hair pulled back with his fingers and I felt my breath hitch from the contact.

"I keep coming home with those things on me all the time. I must be some sort of magnet for them..." I muttered, not wanting to admit how intimate the moment felt. I was about to lean in when the cawing of a crow startled me, bringing me back to reality. "A-Anyways, thank you for the lift and for the- well, all of it. Despite everything that happened, I had a really good time tonight."

"Me too."

"Seriously?" I gaped in surprise. "You mean it? You're not just saying that."

"No, I really liked hanging out with you."

"Oh good... Well umm... have a good night." I waved, unable to muster the courage to do anything more than that, my energy reserves absolutely shot for the evening. How were you supposed to end an evening without making it awkward or show that you weren't trying to shut someone down? Were we supposed to kiss? Was that what you did on a first date or did Japan have different rules and etiquette when it came to dating?

"Y-Yes! You too." He nodded and walked mechanically towards the stairwell in a way that caused me to giggle. Rather than continue on his merry way, he stopped at the bottom of the stairs and turned around before moving toward me once again. "Alyssa-!"

"Yes?"

"Umm... Can I... Can I give you a hug?" I clapped my hands together and pressed them to edges to my lips. Bless this sweet boy and his innocence! I nodded and immediately held out my arms. Unsure, Izuku walked cautiously up to me before wrapping his arms around my shoulders and squeezed. The little voice in my head noted the slight height difference as I bent my head forward to rest on his shoulder, but I found that I didn't care as the tight feeling in my chest expanded as I reciprocated. His hug matched my strength and then went beyond as he squeezed tighter. It was warm and more comforting than being under five of my weighted blankets. How did he know that I liked to be held like this? After stepping back from what felt like too short a time, I found myself strangely melancholy that I had gone my entire life without being hugged like that. It was official. All hugs other than his were now ruined for me, forever.

"G-Goodnight, Alyssa. I hope you f-feel better," Izuku stammered, somehow a brighter shade of red than his old high-tops. Why was he asking me that? Oh right. My anxiety. That's why we were here. The nerves suddenly came back full-force as I numbly stepped into my house and let the turbulent emotions I was feeling run free and unhindered once I was behind closed doors. I let out a silent squeal that came out more like a squeak and wore a dopey smile that was permanently stuck to my face for the rest of the evening.


Author's Note: References today are "Dearly Beloved" and "Oath/Don't Think Twice" from Kingdom Hearts, "Lost in Thoughts All Alone/Hitori Omou" from Fire Emblem If/Fates, Aggretsuko, The Girl Who Leapt Through Time, and Atollon from Star Wars [Rebels]. God, I have been wanting to post this sucker for ages. I actually already had a good chunk of this written back when I only had like six chapters put out.