After leaving the hospital, Ed went to Winry's apartment to get his things and go rent a room in a hotel. Maybe that's what he should have done from the beginning but now it was too late to regret it, besides... even though today his heart was aching for Winry's suffering he couldn't say that he really regretted what had happened in that apartment. With so many years of longing it was probably better to have had those moments and that connection with Winry instead of them never having happened. Too bad the timing wasn't on their side.
Despite being accompanied by the curious stare of Winry's landlady on his arrival and departure from the building (plus a brief exchange of words in which the lady asked him about how Winry and her fiancé were doing), it didn't take long for Ed to leave Winry's apartment and soon after he was lying on one of the beds in the first hotel that came his way.
It was all over between him and Winry, or so it seemed. He really wanted to find a way to make it work between him and Winry but his mind couldn't find what he was looking for.
Besides there was also the matter of Rose, it was time for him to face the true impact and consequences of what had happened in the last few days. Even if things with Winry might have come to an end, what was he going to do about his relationship with Rose? He couldn't just walk in and pretend that nothing had happened these past few days in East City. Rose had opened the doors of her home and her heart to him and Ed had trampled on that trust by being unfaithful. And if he was honest with himself, he was now able to recognize the extent of the damage he had ended up doing to her in one way or another considering how he had started their relationship. He was aware that he was not in love with her when they started dating and yet he decided to start a relationship with her in a fit of jealousy. He had not given his all in their relationship and yet Rose had seemed very happy during these months.
Despite not being fully and properly immersed in the relationship, Rose loved him, of that Ed had no doubt, and now he would have to wipe the warm smile off her face by telling her the truth. Yes, that was for the best. He might have made the very grave mistake of starting their relationship by avoiding being completely honest with his feelings but now he had to do it out of respect for Rose. That was the least he owed her.
However... he really didn't want the time to come when he had to be honest and direct with Rose because he knew he would hurt her deeply. He might not be in love with Rose but that didn't mean he didn't love her as a very dear friend so the idea of causing her sadness was not one that appealed to him. And if he took into account Eddie's face of disappointment and sadness when he had to say goodbye to him...
All those thoughts had Ed in a trance that prevented him from even considering leaving the room to clear his mind. In his current state he might once again make the mistake of drowning his worries and heartache in the first bar he came across and that would be the least advisable under the current circumstances. He had certainly given in to the temptation to buy a bottle of whiskey on the way to the hotel but for the moment he had only drunk a glass of it, beginning to feel the glimpses of a certain cloudiness in his mind but still not even approaching the level of inebriation he knew he could easily reach if he set his mind to it.
It was because of the constant presence of the temptation to escape his problems through that bottle that Ed preferred to opt for trying to contact Al after spending some time staring at the ceiling deep in thought. Before leaving Winry's apartment, he thought about plugging the phone back in and waiting for Al to hopefully call as he had promised he would but he didn't think it wise to spend any more time there than necessary so he sent that idea to the back of his mind until the jumble of thoughts running through his head finally made room to remind him that there was a possibility that Al was trying to communicate with them.
Under normal circumstances, Ed would have lost his patience talking to the operator to get in touch with Youswell's inn but in the midst of his gloomy musings that wait gave him some respite since at least he could focus his frustration on the impatience of having to wait several minutes to get the desired contact with Youswell and then add to that the wait for them to go looking for someone named Alphonse Elric.
Fortunately the wait to properly locate Al at Youswell was not as long as the first since his brother had already tried to contact them a couple of times.
Once Al's initial concern disappeared upon hearing his older brother's voice, the questions came as to why Winry's phone didn't seem to be working. Ed made up a silly excuse that he had accidentally dropped the phone breaking it and kept making casual small talk telling him that his automail was feeling great and that he was ready to go back to Central. Al played along asking him general questions until he couldn't hold back any longer and asked him to be honest with him and tell him what had really happened, asking him if he had followed through with his original plan to separate from Winry.
Ed only put up a bit of token resistance as he was not one to share his feelings so easily but he felt so tired and defeated that he soon told him what had happened over the last few days not caring that he ended up sharing certain intimate details with his younger brother. In those moments Ed was enormously grateful for the great capacity of Al to detect and understand the emotions of others since, during the first part of his story, he refrained from congratulating him and telling him things like 'I knew you were both in love', probably because he detected the hint of sadness in his tone of voice.
As he finished his tale with the events of a few hours ago, Al was silent for a few seconds before asking 'Does this mean you'll go through with your original plan?'
Ed couldn't say he hadn't been expecting that question because it was one he himself had been dealing with all day and hadn't come up with the answer. However, being able to get it off his chest and having someone to share his thoughts with must have given him some clarity since he himself was surprised when he soon responded with a 'I think it's for the best'.
Unlike the previous time, Al did not insist on changing his mind and replied with a sad and resigned 'I understand', making Ed inwardly wonder how much Al could guess through his voice as it was as if he himself was feeling the pain he was feeling.
However, even though Ed must have imagined that something like this would happen, Al was quick to tell him that he would come back to see him to which Ed flatly objected claiming that he had to settle his issues with Rose and Winry first and that he didn't want to keep interfering with the alchemical training he enjoyed so much. Al resisted but in the end Ed's stubbornness won out (or so Ed wanted to believe as he was somewhat under the impression that there was a possibility that Al would end up returning sooner than expected) although on the condition that he would send him a letter as soon as he returned to Central telling him everything that had happened with Winry, Rose and Russell.
During the phone call Al's voice became some sort of balm to his soul and mind but as soon as the call ended Ed was once again overwhelmed at what might happen in the next few days. He had held out a small hope that talking to Al would help him cope better in the hours ahead but it was only a momentary relief as even in the nightfall, his mind could not stay quiet causing him to be unable to sleep at all.
When the clock struck 6 a.m., Ed resigned himself to not getting any kind of rest so he preferred to go to the hospital to see how Russell was doing. Arriving at the area where Russell's room was located, he found Winry dozing in the area where the visitor's chairs were located although, from the expression on her face and the position of her neck, it was impossible for Winry to actually get any rest there.
Despite having come to the resolution to wake her up to spare her a sore neck, Winry ended up beating him for as soon as he approached and she heard his footsteps, she startled slightly opening her eyes in the process. A new wave of sadness swept over Ed at the thought that Winry had probably spent the whole night like that, waiting for news on Russell's condition.
Recognizing the newcomer, Winry murmured. "Ed."
Ed walked over and sat down in the armchair next to the one Winry was sitting in. He sighed before speaking. "How's Russell doing?"
Winry cracked a shaky smile. "He's out of danger."
Ed tried to reciprocate her smile. "What a relief. See? I told you Russell wasn't going to give up."
Winry's subtle smile disappeared. She sighed and said. "He's out of danger but there's a good chance he won't be able to walk again."
That revelation came as a bucket of cold water to Ed. "It can't be..."
"The doctor says his spine was damaged in the accident and a section of his lower back is extremely inflamed. There's a chance that when the swelling goes away the tests will give favorable results, but so far all the tests seem to indicate that he won't walk again." Winry said regretfully.
"Gosh..." Ed exhaled heavily. "I wasn't expecting this." He ran a hand over his face before looking into her eyes. "Let's hope it's only temporary. It's not going to be easy but I know that between Russell, Fletcher and you you will get Russell to be able to live a normal life in case the doctor's suspicions are true."
Winry bit her lower lip before replying. "I hope so."
Not wishing to plunge her into the sadness that the news of Russell's condition should be causing her, Ed decided to change the subject a bit. "By the way, where's Fletcher? I didn't see him when I entered the hospital."
"I forced him to go get some sleep. The doctor updated us on Russell's condition a couple of hours ago so, knowing that his brother is out of danger, I managed to convince him to go to his hotel for a while."
"You should have gone to rest too."
Winry shrugged. "At the end of the day the one who needs the rest the most is Fletcher. I'm sure he hadn't slept at all since last night."
Ed sighed. "Tell me the truth, how are you?"
Winry shrugged again. "I suppose I could be worse."
"Have you eaten anything?"
"I had some coffee."
Ed sighed. "I figured as much." He grabbed her wrist. "Come on, let's go get you something to eat." He said standing up although Winry didn't move from the couch.
"I can't leave, Ed, I have to keep an eye on Russell."
"It will only be for a little while. You need to get your strength back too or you're going to collapse. Besides I don't think Russell would be very happy about you neglecting yourself or am I wrong?"
Winry challenged him briefly with her eyes but it didn't take long for her to give in. She was obviously much more physically and emotionally drained than she was really letting on. "Okay. Though we'll probably end up having coffee. I highly doubt the cafeteria will have anything ready at this hour." She said letting Ed guide her.
"We're not going to the cafeteria."
Winry stopped dead in her tracks. "Then I'm not moving from here."
Ed sighed. "Come on, don't be stubborn." He gave his wrist a tug but Winry didn't move. "We're just going to a restaurant that's one street from here. It just happens to be open early to serve patients' families."
Winry thought for a few moments before speaking. "Just one street away. I don't plan to move beyond that."
Ed cracked a slight smile. "Okay."
A short time later the two entered the restaurant Ed had mentioned. The place was moderately spacious with several tables set up for customers but, because of the hour, there were only three tables occupied. Taking advantage of the spaciousness of the place, Ed directed Winry to the table furthest away from the others and then went to order the food, ordering a sandwich and a coffee for Winry and just a coffee for himself as he knew his stomach would hardly tolerate anything beyond that because of how scrambled it was at what he was planning to do.
As he reached the table and placed things at each place setting, Winry looked at him with a raised eyebrow and said. "What about you?"
Ed rolled his eyes. "I'm going to have a coffee with you, isn't that enough?"
"Then I'll follow your lead."
"None of that. I ate at the hotel so now it's your turn. Equivalent exchange." He said with a slightly shaky smile, trying to lighten the mood.
"You trickster." Winry muttered before reluctantly taking a bite of her sandwich.
They went on like that for a few minutes. Ed making some casual small talk to prompt her to eat and Winry relenting a couple of times, only enough to eat half of the sandwich.
After a couple of minutes without Winry touching the sandwich again and taking advantage of the fact that Winry had fallen silent watching the dark liquid in her cup, Ed inhaled deeply, cracked a sad smile and said to her. "You love him, don't you?"
Winry lifted her face with a surprised expression. "Huh?"
"You love Russell." This time Ed said it as an affirmation but with the same expression on his face.
"Uh...I..." Winry stopped trying to speak and refocused her gaze on her coffee as she clutched the cup in both hands.
Did she really love Russell? With him she had always felt something different than she had felt and still felt for Ed but... did love take different forms? Could it be possible that she really had fallen in love with two people at the same time as so many novels mentioned in their stories? Russell didn't arouse the same passion or set her heart racing in the same way Ed did but she really cared for him. She had become so accustomed to his presence, his unstoppable chatter, his jokes and even his arrogance that the possibility of losing him had awakened something in her chest that she didn't think she had ever felt for Russell before but perhaps... had that feeling been hidden inside herself covered by her great longing to unleash a love that she had long believed would never happen?
Confused by her own feelings, Winry looked up from her cup to focus on Ed's gaze. Immediately she could notice in his golden orbs an accumulation of emotions so intense that, almost without realizing it, tears began to roll down her cheeks.
"Don't cry, Win." Ed murmured and, against his better judgment, leaned over the table so he could wipe away the blonde's tears with his thumb.
"I don't know, Ed." She murmured as Ed wiped away her tears. "I'm not sure...I'm confused. I really felt a great fear of losing Russell and I don't think I've recovered from that shock yet but...with all this...I don't know, my mind is all scrambled but I guess, at the moment, I can't deny it like I used to. Before I thought I was sure I wasn't but now... maybe..." She inhaled deeply before opening her eyes to stare into Ed's golden orbs. She knew this conversation wasn't easy for either of them but at least she wanted to be as honest as possible with him, looking him in the eye when answering such sensitive topics between them. "Maybe I am in love with Russell."
Ed felt a pang in his heart but tried not to show it on his face. He wiped away a couple more tears, before returning to his previous position. "That's what I was imagining... I haven't seen you in this state since the death of your parents." With a tone of guilt he added. "Well, I guess it was something similar with Granny Pinako but I wasn't there." He sighed before continuing. "But I guess I can say that I know you and I know you wouldn't get like that over just anyone, so... I guess it was an easy thing to imagine." He concluded with a shrug, trying to give his comment a casual tone so that it didn't sound recriminatory.
Winry tightened the grip she kept on her mug. "I care about Russell and I must confess that in all this time I've grown very fond of him but...I can't tell you for sure if that fondness has turned into love. I know I told you I didn't love him and at that moment I felt that way, I didn't lie to you but I don't think I had contemplated what my life would be like without him let alone considered the possibility of losing him forever and I think that is what is causing chaos in my mind and heart. I guess for the moment I can tell you that, unlike before, I can now tell you that it is possible, that there is a possibility that I am in love with him, a possibility that even I myself had not realized until now. But I still can't say that for sure." She inhaled deeply and looked him straight in the eye, giving him a regretful look knowing that her words, though as sincere as she could afford to be at the moment, were hurting him. "Part of me would like to go back to the night we spent together, relive those moments I spent with you knowing I was loved by you and thinking about the future that awaited us together as soon as we settled our affairs but now I simply can't ignore what I may or may not be feeling for Russell because it may well be part of the guilt I feel about all of this or..." She gulped. "I can't rule out the possibility that it's something else."
"I understand..." Ed inhaled deeply and paused slightly before adding. "And how do you feel about me?"
Winry blinked a couple of times. How did she feel about him? Wasn't it obvious? She loved him, of that she had no doubt. The fact that she probably loved Russell too didn't change anything...or did it? After a brief pause in which these thoughts ran through her mind, Winry replied in a shaky voice. "I love you. I've loved you since always."
Ed felt a surge of warmth in his chest at Winry's words but it was briefer than the ones Winry usually elicited from him as he noticed a certain hesitation in her as she said it. "Winry, believe me your words are what I most wanted to hear for years, but I'm not wrong in thinking you have at least a little doubt about it, right?" He said with a sad smile.
"It's not easy." She murmured before raising her voice slightly in a somewhat defensive tone. "I feel extremely guilty that we did what we did while Russell was struggling between life and death." She exhaled heavily and covered her eyes with one hand. "Especially considering he traveled the way he did because he wanted to see me as soon as possible to start planning our wedding."
Ed bit his lower lip before speaking. He knew Russell had traveled to see Winry but he didn't know the extent of that reason, reminding him once again how close Winry and Russell were to becoming a married couple...so close and yet he had gotten in the way. "I feel guilty too, Winry. As much of a jerk as Russell can be I would never wish what happened to him on him and, while I don't like the idea of him being your fiancé for the simple fact that I couldn't be the one who is about to marry you, it wasn't fair of me to let my feelings guide me knowing that you were about to marry him." He paused slightly before continuing. "However... I don't regret in the least what happened between you and me. I may feel guilty about Russell's situation but there is no way I wish what we experienced together didn't happen because these days were precious to me and made me as happy as I hadn't been in a long time." He told her in a soft voice, denoting the sincerity of his words.
At his words, Winry stopped covering her eyes and stared at him. She was moved by the sincerity and love that his words denoted so she was quick to tell him. "Something similar happened to me, Ed. Being with you made me feel as happy as I hadn't been in a long time. It was as if I had regained a part of me that I had lost long ago."
"You don't know how much it means to me to hear you say that, Win. Being on Earth I thought of you every day and begged life for the chance to see you at least one last time. You were my motivation to keep going and find a way to get home...I wanted to be with you. Obviously I also wanted to see Al but with him...it was different. I was already certain that he had his body back and I knew he now had a chance to happily move on with his life. But with you... I had to see you. Regardless of how much I love you, I had to come and offer you a proper apology and goodbye. You didn't deserve for me to do things the way I did. Believe me that kiss is still etched in my memory but that doesn't mean it wasn't selfish of me to kiss you and then just walk away. You deserve more than that. You deserve someone who loves you without reservation, respects you and gives you your place. And if I couldn't be that at least if I wanted to apologize to you properly, even if I didn't know if I would be fully capable of seeing you making your life with another man. But I had to try. I had to..." He exhaled heavily. "Even though I couldn't live up to what I had hoped for since having you in front of me I couldn't suppress my feelings as I told myself I should if I found out I no longer had a place in your life. I selfishly and naively deluded myself into convincing myself that I was capable of aspiring to something that should never have been because, as much of an idiot as I am and as much as I tried not to pay attention to that thought, I was at least completely sure that I didn't deserve you."
Winry took his hand and spoke to him in a soft voice. "Don't talk like that Ed, that's all behind now. Besides you well know that you are someone very special in my life. And it's always going to be that way, of that I have no doubt."
Winry only had time to give him a light squeeze at the end of her words before Ed pulled his hand away and continued speaking. "You don't understand what I'm getting at, Win. I knew I didn't deserve you and yet I pushed that thought aside and tried to win you over because I really wanted you to love me. I've always been selfish and I still am to this day because even though I'm more than aware of Russell's current situation, I can't help but think that I want you only for me, that you only love me."
To Ed's surprise, Winry cracked a slight smile, trying to reassure him. "It may sound selfish but sometimes that's the way it is when you love someone."
Ed reciprocated her smile. "You may be right because there's no doubt in my mind that I love you with all my heart." Winry's cheeks flushed and, although that seemed very cute to Ed, her smile was wiped off her face at what he was about to say. "That's exactly why I now truly understand that I have to let you go so you can be happy."
"W-what?" Winry asked, feeling her throat suddenly dry.
"I have to let you go, Win. It's the best thing for you. So you can be happy."
"But, Ed, you can't-"
Ed interrupted her, "Maybe I'm the cause of you not being able to think clearly because I do believe you're in love with Russell. I realize that now."
Tears again made their appearance on Winry's face as she rose from her chair stamping her hands on the table. "You can't do this to me Ed, I told you I'm not completely sure about it yet." She told him in a defensive tone.
Ed reached out to take one of her hands to stroke it rhythmically until Winry relaxed enough to sit back down.
After a brief pause, Ed continued. "Maybe you're not now but the more I see of you the more I realize that you've fallen in love with him and, as much as it pains me to admit it, he's the best match for you. Think about it, he's got a risk free job." He said thinking about his job in the military while Russell was an outside collaborator. "He looks out for you and your well being, he doesn't leave you behind, he cares about you and is ready to make his life by your side." Ed's gaze was filled with sadness. "And what have I done? I've simply brought you pain and came to cause you trouble. And it's not just now, I always have. I've never given you the place you so richly deserve and when I'm around you I just make everything worse."
Winry began to cry harder. "Don't say that, Ed. Whatever suffering you would have caused me is in the past. You have been quite supportive, maybe not in the expected way but you have always supported my dream of being one of the best automail mechanics, you trusted me with the creation of your members even though as soon as you left Resembool you could have found yourself another mechanic and you even said you wanted to support me with my business remember?" She paused slightly before continuing. "I know you love me and you didn't mean to hurt me and I..." She inhaled shakily because of her crying. "I didn't lie to you when I told you I wanted to be with you. I longed to be able to love you without reservation and be reciprocated by you and your presence alone revived and intensified my feelings for you every time even though I tried to delude myself that I could control them and continue my relationship with Russell."
Against his better judgment, Ed took Winry's hands again and ducked his head. "I know, Winry. I know. I really do and I don't want you to think I doubt you." Unable to help himself any longer, a few tears began to spill from his golden orbs. "All I want is for you to be happy and I know you're not going to be happy with me. I shouldn't have tried anything with you, not at the cost of causing you so much pain. Through all of this I'm proving that tying you to a relationship with me would be condemning you to unhappiness and I wouldn't forgive myself for doing that to you. Win, you deserve the best so I don't intend to stand in your way anymore."
"Ed, don't say that. I know we can be happy together it's just... it's all very complicated right now. Yes, I have doubts about my true feelings for Russell but I still have the impression that my happiness is by your side. Now that you are finally back in Amestris, I am completely convinced that I could not be happy if you are not in my future. I told you, I don't feel able to bear your absence again so I beg you, Ed, don't do this to me. Don't leave me, please... I couldn't bear it." Winry pleaded in a wobbly voice.
Ed lifted his tearful but determined gaze to stare into her eyes. "I won't, Win. I won't make the same mistake. I promise." He entwined his fingers with hers for a few moments. "I may not be able to be with you in the way I would have liked but I'll be there whenever you need me, so I'll be in touch with you if you want me to be." He parted his fingers from hers to bring his lips a couple of inches above her hands as a few silent tears continued to run down her cheeks. "This time I'll be there for you just..." He inhaled deeply and closed his eyes. "I'm setting you free. I don't want you to worry about me and please go on with your life. Be happy, Win. Find your happiness with someone who isn't broken like me." With that said he kissed both hands and then remained with his head down trying to control the tears to no avail.
Winry pulled her hands away from Ed's, startling the blond momentarily as he was unprepared for such a quick goodbye, but as he lifted his gaze he noticed she was standing up and, noticing her intentions, he stood up meeting both of them halfway to embrace tightly.
Ed kissed the top of her head before speaking. "Don't cry, Win."
Winry buried her face in Ed's neck unable to stop crying. "I don't know what to do, Ed, I really don't. I have to figure out my true feelings so I don't hurt you but I'm so confused. Russell needs me and right now I want to be with him. Whether it's just because of my guilt, affection or love I don't know but right now...I can't be with you like I would like to be with you. I really would like to love you freely but now I just can't, not when Russell-"
Ed interrupted her, "Shh, easy, I understand. It hurts to part with you but I know this is the right thing to do."
Winry punched him lightly in the chest. "How can you be so sure? It's not fair what you're doing to me."
"Forgive me for putting you in this situation, Win, but something tells me that if I don't do this now I'll never be able to do it again."
"Then don't do it, Ed. Let's wait."
Ed was silent pondering Winry's words. His heart was begging him to listen to Winry as it would open the door so he could pursue his newfound relationship with her but...at what cost? Contributing to Winry's love turmoil? Bringing her more pain by being a constant reminder of the guilt they both carried? Preventing her from leading a full life by having to keep their relationship hidden while Russell recovered? Betraying the trust of a good man like Russell while he would probably have to be adjusting to a new way of living with restricted mobility?
No, Ed had already caused them too much damage. Not just to them but to Rose and Eddie as well. As much as it pained him what he was doing he would stick to his decision. He didn't want to continue to be the cause of other people's unhappiness. Besides, there was the possibility that Winry actually did love Russell so, even if he trusted the love she had for him, if in the future that love for Russell blossomed he trusted that Winry would be happy at Russell's side. It was for the best.
Sadly, Ed finally shook his head. "I'm sorry, Win. I'd rather do this now. I don't want to be a hindrance in your life anymore."
In the midst of her tears, Winry turned a frown on him and hit him in the chest again, harder this time. "I don't like you saying that, Ed. You never were and never will be a hindrance in my life. You might be an idiot yes, but all that makes you you and I love you just the way you are. I really do."
Ed tightened his embrace again causing Winry to bury her face in his chest. "I love you too, Win. And because of this love I know that we will get through this. That this is the path we must follow and that you will be happy."
Winry buried her fingers in the back of Ed's shirt. "And what about you, Ed? I want you to be happy too. You deserve it."
Ed tried hard to make his voice sound as upbeat and firm as possible. "Don't worry, Win. We're fine okay?" Ed told her etching in his mind the feeling of holding Winry in his arms. It wasn't the way he would have liked it but perhaps this would be the last time they would be able to share a similar moment so he did his best to record in his mind every last detail.
Winry shook her head. "Something tells me I don't have to let you go...I don't want you to go, Ed..."
Ed began to rock them slightly hoping that would help calm them both down a bit. "You think so now because emotions are running high but you'll see that you'll soon realize that this is the best decision."
For all response, Winry buried her fingers tighter into the back of Ed's shirt and murmured. "Ed...please..."
Using all his willpower, Ed inhaled deeply and pulled away from Winry keeping his hands on the blonde's forearms. He then swept an arm across his face before returning it to its previous position and then smiling as big a smile as he could under the current circumstances. At that moment he didn't feel the slightest hint of joy but he had to be strong and make Winry feel better. He didn't want to sadden her even more with his own sadness.
With that smile on his face, Ed told her. "I will never forget these days we spent together. They are and will remain a treasure to me. Thank you for everything, Winry." With that said he leaned down to place a tender kiss on her forehead. He let his lips rest there for a few seconds before pulling away meeting Winry's tearful blue orbs.
"It's going to be all right, Win."
"How can you tell?" Winry asked him in a trembling voice.
"Let's trust that it will be." He said keeping his smile even though it was starting to turn shaky. He pulled some bills out of his pocket and placed them on the table. "Since I brought you here I'm treating, how about it?" He said in a pathetic attempt at a joking, casual tone. After swallowing the lump that formed in his throat, he said goodbye. "See you around, Winry." With that said he turned around to leave the establishment, no longer able to contain the sadness that was overtaking him.
"Ed...wait..." Winry muttered but if Ed heard her he ignored her.
Winry placed a fist over her racing heart debating about what to do. Russell needed her and there was a possibility that she really was in love with him but Ed...she had waited so long for him without being able to get rid of her feelings for him and now that everything seemed to be going great between them...did she have to let him go? Quick flashbacks of her life with him over the years and the night they had spent together crossed her mind causing an echo of 'Don't let him go' to begin to form in her mind.
Winry felt a lot of sadness and pain in those moments but the thought of losing Ed forever took over amidst all her sea of emotions so, a few moments after Ed had left the restaurant, she hurried out after him. She herself didn't know if she was doing the right thing but her love for Ed prevented her from letting him go just like that. She walked through the front door of the restaurant and looked to the right which was the direction he had gone and sure enough she could see him hurrying away from the place. She took a couple of normal steps before she ran to catch up with him at the same time she opened her mouth to yell at him.
"Winry!"
Winry stopped dead in her tracks when she heard the voice coming from the opposite direction she was headed. Without even thinking to wipe away her tears she turned to see Fletcher, who was only a few feet away from her.
"What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be looking after Russell?" Fletcher asked with a deadpan face and a slightly accusatory tone.
Winry inhaled deeply and struggled to swallow the lump that had formed in her throat. "I came to get something to eat."
"Oh, I see." It seemed to Winry that for the briefest of moments Fletcher looked over her head before adding. "If you're finished we'd better hurry. Perhaps the doctor will have news for us." Without waiting for a reply Fletcher turned and began to walk a couple of steps in the direction of the hospital.
Winry froze in place. She had to decide right then and there. Either follow Ed's increasingly distant back or go meet up with Russell. She wiped her tears with one hand, bit her lower lip and was about to take a step in the direction Ed had taken when Fletcher's voice interrupted her again.
"Winry, my brother needs you so don't play with the love he has for you will you?"
Winry froze at Fletcher's words. She timidly raised her gaze realizing that Fletcher had glanced over his shoulder at her before walking on.
A sense of panic mixed with guilt and confusion rose in her chest. Had Fletcher discovered them? Why was he saying those words to her at that precise moment? Had he seen them in the restaurant?
And the reminder about Russell... was she really being so mean about Russell's feelings for her? She knew that Russell needed her now more than ever and she also wanted to be by his side supporting him and deciphering her feelings for him but then...was there really no room anymore to allow her a chance at the hope that she and Ed could be together in the end?
A sob escaped her throat before she began to follow the path Fletcher had taken. She might or might not be in love with Russell but whether he had discovered them or not, Fletcher was like a warning confirming to her that her duty and the place to be was at Russell's side, as his fiancée. Her heart was breaking with every step she was taking in the direction of the hospital but with any luck Ed's words would come true and this would all end up being the best path they could have taken.
Having moved forward a couple of feet, Winry looked over her shoulder but now there was no sign of Ed. He was gone. It was too late for regrets. He had made a decision and now she had made it too even if, in a way, circumstances would end up nudging her.
Winry kept walking, wiping her tears away completely before entering the hospital. She would have to be strong for Russell, for the man who had given her all his love and from whom she would have to find out if she really loved him or, failing that, learn to fall in love with him properly because there was no other way out. However... from that moment on and in the following days the thought of what would have happened if she had never been engaged to Russell was constantly lodged in her mind.
A/N: Hi!
Well... this has definitely been the saddest chapter I've had to write in this story :( We are certainly starting to get closer to the end of this story but there are still a few more chapters to go, so will this be Ed and Winry's definitive separation?
Thanks for reading and see you in two weeks
Golden
PS: For those who are wondering, yes, in the next chapter we will have Rose and Eddie back...
