Month of Wyvern Moon - A Measure of Trust
Chapter 25
Ashe was discharged from the infirmary a few days later with explicit orders to take it easy for the next few days. Seeing the archer up and moving was of great relief to me, however, it did little to ease my anxiousness as Flayn continued sleeping.
My friend was out for the better part of the week before she woke back up under a blanket of flowers. Seteth and I had taken to bringing her fresh flowers every morning, and yet more of them seemed to appear every few hours. The never-ending well wishes included lavish flowers from Ferdinand and Lorenz, while more respectable flowers came from Dedue, Bernadetta, Dimitri, Claude, Dorothea, Raphael, and Mercedes. A couple of pictures and trinkets from the more creative students also made their way onto Flayn's bedside table throughout the week.
Other changes also happened over the course of the next week. One of the most significant changes was that a majority of our classwork had been cut in half, or rather, on reduced contact hours. These reduced hours were used to make room for the focus meetings that were taking place nearly every day. These focus meetings were limited to house members only and they were used to discuss strategies and tactics for the upcoming battle. Students used them to run scenarios in preparation for the upcoming battle of the Eagle and Lion, however, unfortunately I ended up missing quite a few of the meetings early on in the month because Hilda was working me to the bone on duty in the infirmary. Often paired with Marianne or Mercedes, the three of us took on most of the everyday responsibilities Professor Manuela performed while she recovered from her wounds.
When I did manage to score a large amount of free time, I began taking Zu out for flights. It wasn't uncommon for us stopping to speak with traveling merchants or to stop in nearby villages for fun, conversation, or trade. My room began to slowly fill up with trade items, as I followed my advice to not let my room look like Professor Manuela's. The stacks of library books returned to the shelves and in the more nocturnal hours, when I should be sleeping, I took to exploring the underground pathways for more secrets.
I found a quick entry to the underground paths not all that far from my dormitory room, and quickly grew to know several of the Monasteries secret passageways like the back of my hand. In addition to my newfound pastimes, my classroom life also improved. My grades improved radically since I was allowed to pursue my own interests and became rather apparent, rather quickly, that I had a knack for logistics.
One seemingly innocent teatime with Professor Byleth, turned into a very fruitful conversation. Her observant insight, in addition to her being well connected to all students, offered her the ability to guide me in my own interests. Together after a few Sunday teas, Professor Byleth offered me better insight on how to attract more merchants to the Monastery.
Those fateful tea parties blossomed into several, more intense, tea parties involving both Lorenz and Ferdinand. Cereza was a huge help in keeping the conversations going and she was mindful enough to prepare me in advance for the tea parties, granting me both handmade snacks and topics of conversation to help guild my negotiations.
Eventually, through a lot of work and even more tea leaves, I drafted and haggled with both nobles enough to request them to send freshly drafted merchant contracts to their father's for approval. Over seeing my drafts were both Professor Byleth and Seteth, and they were pleased with my progress regarding both fiefdoms.
As it neared my birthday, the signed contracts came back with marks of approval from both lords and soon after a greater influx of goods began to make its way into the markets as the results of fresh market contracts.
Soon most of my wealthier classmates were supporting new training equipment and less injuries were being reported as the direct result of opening trade routes. It was a win-win as more exotic goods began to trickle into Garreg Mach. I drifted in and out of the ever-increasing market stalls, bargaining and selling small trinkets in a vain attempt to locate ginger tea.
Unknown to me at the time, my house leader had been sitting back and watching me speak with the merchants and nobles alike with a growing level of amusement. Many more days were spent pouring over books and old trade agreements in the library. My frustration and restlessness grew as I drafted even more trade agreements for other territories.
It was one such day during the wyvern moon. I was sitting in a pool of molten gold enjoying the sun's warm rays through the library windows whilst pouring over another trade agreement when I happened to look up and stretch. I was mid-yawn when I noticed my house leader sitting across the table from me, casually flipping through one of the many reading materials scattered around me.
Claude's green eyes flicked up from the book he was reading and he began to grin. "Hey there Petal, do you have a minute? I'd like to bend your ear if you have some time to spare."
I looked down at the mess of papers on my desk and ruffled my hair. "Err, kind of busy here Claude. I am trying to draft another proposal, the merchants in Enbarr disliked my first contract and sent back a compromise, but this is just ludicrous. How can they expect half of what they are proposing?"
I scratched my hair in frustration and groaned at the sheer amount of red ink on the contract in front of me.
My house leader winked and got up from his chair with a glitter in his eye. "Tell you what, how about you take a break then? How about we go for a little flight? You know, to get your mind away from it for a bit. That should help you clear your thoughts for a while."
Immediately suspicious, I shook my head to decline Claude's invite. I did not want to leave my work unfinished, since the merchant's guild was expecting a response within the next week. "That would be slacking, and I believe I have been told off enough for that in these last few months that I think I'll pass."
Claude's smile widened as he held out an inviting hand. "If it's that much of a concern then, how about I'll give you a hand with it later?"
Having been around the Golden Deer house long enough now, I knew better than to take Claude's offer at face value. I raised an eyebrow at my house leader, now firmly on guard. "I see you hanging out with Hilda entirely too much for me to take that offer remotely at face value. I'd rather not owe Hilda anything, or you for that matter, so why should I accept?"
His grin shifted to a sarcastic smirk at my immediate suspicion. "You are a fast learner! Me? I'm not after much, it's just been a while since we last spoke and judging by the amount of papers you are wading through, you could use a break to get your mind off things."
I leaned back and crossed my arms, clicking my tongue. "That's not how this place works and that's definitely not how you work. So, why not just ask what's on your mind and cut to the chase? Or do you just get a kick out of these mind games?"
"A little of A and little of B." Claude answered with ease as he leaned forward over the top of the chair, baiting me further. "Plus, it's rather fun watching you try to figure out what my intentions are."
I flinched, guessing now that Claude had his eye on me that I wasn't going to return to my paperwork anytime soon. I sighed slowly, still unsure of what my house leader wanted. "Claude, I am not trying to figure out what your intentions are at all. If anything, I think it's the other way around..."
"Perceptive of you! So, tell me, is all the crest research that you have been doing with Hanneman, Linhardt, and Lysithea just for fun then?" Claude continued leaning innocently on the back of the chair, smiling at me as he cornered me with a different angle.
"W-what how did you find out about that?" I gasped at the Golden Deer in surprise as he continued to bless me with an easy grin, knowing he had just hit a point of interest.
My house leader's grin and mannerisms had me backtracking trying to figure out what he wanted in earnest.
I bit my lip as Claude went back to his original request. "Come on Petal, let's just go for a casual walk then if you're not in the mood to go flying? I'd suggest horseback riding, but your horsemanship is still pretty awful isn't it?"
I felt my face start to heat up knowing that the Golden Deer was just messing with me now. "No! No thank you, I can figure this out on my own."
"Are you sure you don't want to spend some time with me alone?" Claude stressed the last word, and for whatever reason I couldn't put my finger on why he wanted to get me away from my work.
Normally it was the other way around.
Tired of being teased and wanting desperately to get out from under Claude's scrutinizing, predatory grin, I decided to needle him a bit with a taste of his own medicine. "Why, so you can slip me some more sleeping agents?"
The briefest hint that I touched a nerve flicked across Claude's face and then he was grinning again. "Hey now, that's…"
I leaned forward, propping my chin up on my hand and glared up at my house leader knowing I had a valid concern.
Claude sighed heavily, running his hand through his hair. "Alright, fine it was wrong to sip you that sleep agent. I was just hoping you would sleep more soundly; I hereby apologize."
I thumbed the bottom of my lip, contemplating his apology and his current antics, still trying to figure out what he wanted. "I'll consider accepting your apology. How about helping me with this and then I'll take you someplace interesting I discovered the other day?"
Claude's eyes narrowed suspiciously as I gambled with his insatiable curiosity. I felt a smirk of my own pulling at the corners of my mouth as I purred. "Of course, you'll need to trust me a bit, you know, keep things a bit interesting."
"I'll need a bit of reassurance you're not going to just try to kidnap me again." Claude's reply to my proposal was caught somewhere between a tease and a comeback.
Ah.
The lightbulb clicked on for me and I had a better inclination of what my house leader wanted.
Now having a better inclination about what my house leader was bothering me for, I hummed. "Hmm, you're interested in knowing what I was going to say to you that night you were sick aren't you?"
The Golden Deer chuckle was deep and hearty, but the warmth didn't reach his eyes as he snapped his fingers. "Bingo! I have been dying to know, but it seems we both have been a bit busy. So, I figured I would catch up with you now."
I considered the idea and realized I probably needed to have this conversation with Claude sooner rather than later. With the Battle of the Eagle and Lion being about three weeks away, he needed to know about my crest. Reluctantly, and fairly certain I was going to regret giving away my secrets, I began packing up my notes.
As I stuffed my papers into my bag moodily, Claude cocked his head to the side. "I thought we were going to work on that?"
I continued to shuffle all the papers into a pile and tucked them away in my bag.
"We are," I leaned over the desk and whispered as Claude leaned in towards me. "but I don't want to do it in the library anymore."
My eyes slid to Hubert and Edelgard who had just entered the library with a bubbly Monica. For having been kidnapped and missing for over a year, she was hanging onto Edelgard with a strange amount of optimism and buoyancy.
The Golden Deer followed my line of sight and winked his understanding at me. "That works for me."
Together we left the main floor of the library, with me leading the way up to the second floor. Claude followed a few steps behind me, seemingly perplexed by my decision to head to the second floor. I kept him waiting as I led the way around the twisted rows and columns towards the quietest, least disturbed portion of the library.
"Ok," I stopped and leaned against the wall, turning to face the puzzled deer. "Secrets don't come cheap; some are more expensive than others. What do you have to offer me?"
"Didn't I just offer to help you with that trade agreement?" Claude paused to study me, looking me over as intensely as I studied him.
"You did, in exchange for getting to speak with me. We are talking, are we not?" I folded my arms. Casually leaning against the grey stone wall with a teasing smile, I watched the Golden Deer's brow knit together in confusion.
"And going for a walk." Claude tacked on the other requirement, as I began smirking.
"I didn't forget that requirement, do you think I won't fulfill my end of the bargain?" I smirked, leaning my head to the side in ease as the Golden Deer took a step closer.
He's going to call my bluff.
I had a minor internal crisis as Claude took another step closer. One of my hands slipped behind me with the key from my pocket as his hand found its way under my chin.
I wasn't ready for this as the Golden Deer tilted my head up towards him.
Claude's voice was a teasing purr as he leaned in closer. "Come on Petal, can't you just open up to me just a little? Tell me what your game is?"
My hand worked frantically behind me and I managed to locate the hidden lever in the rock just in time.
I smirked confidently up at him. "I'm fulfilling my half of the bargain, don't worry. However, just how much I discuss with you depends greatly on how much you're willing to share with me. Secrets for secrets, right? That's a game you enjoy playing?"
My barbed comment caught my scheming house leader off guard, and I took the opportunity to flip the lever. The wall behind me fell away as I took a step backwards, away from him.
"Coming?" I gestured slyly for the Golden Deer to follow as he stared at the dark hole in the wall in awe.
It was fun watching his expression change from a predatory gleam to one of awe. A second later the shock of awe was replaced with the most deviously, delighted, grin. "Now there's an interesting secret. How did you figure that one out?"
The traveling merchant in me took hold of the opportunity and I found myself asking. "Is it worth sufficient enough to get you to start on a trade agreement for the Riegan territory?"
The Golden Deer's eyebrows furrowed again, trying to figure me out. He stared at the looming darkness as I took another step back. "What? Come again? Why would you want that?"
I clicked my tongue; upset I had even mentioned that I was after a new contract from the Riegan territories as well. I shrugged, from the frying pan into the fire as they say. "You heard me, is it worth getting you to draft up a merchant trade agreement for your governing region?"
"I heard you were interested in increasing the merchant wares in the area, but is that really what you're after? Why would you be interested in that?" Claude scratched his head as the door began to shut. "Hey!"
I moved a bit further back into the dark tunnel with a wink, twirling the key in one finger. "If you want to know more, you better follow me inside before it shuts. That's a one-way door without the key."
The door started to inch shut and Claude made the decision to trust me enough to step inside the passageway. As the Golden Deer stepped into the darkness, the wall clicked back into place, shuttering us both inside.
It took a second for my eyes to adjust to the darkness. My hand pocketed the key and then found the wall. As my hand trailed over the dark stone, I heard Claude's optimistic voice break through the darkness.
"Wow, this sure is dark in here."
The cheeky comment gave me the rough location of my house leader and I reached out for him. "Here, give me your hand."
Claude must have sensed me moving, or perhaps his dark vision was just that good, but either way, a breath later, I felt a hand touching the tips of my outreached glove.
"Can't you just light a candle?" The Golden Deer inquired lightly, giving no sign at all that the impending darkness bothered him in the slightest.
"Nope, I can't." I muttered as I felt my way along the wall, gently leading him down into the bowls of the Monastery.
Claude didn't give up. The Golden Deer followed me, our hands interlocked as he suggested. "What about using your magic? I know I have seen you using light spells before."
Claude kept a careful grip on my hand as I pulled him down into the darkness without saying anything.
This was one of the reasons I needed to talk with you.
I wanted to tell him, but somehow what came out was something more sarcastic. "You can either choose to follow me Mr. Clever Deer, or you can stay here until I come back this way in a few hours."
He didn't seem perturbed by my threat, as his cheeky voice echoed down the cavern. "Guess I have no choice then, huh?"
Claude let go of my hand in order to switch to his other hand. The Golden Deer's grip just grazing over my wounded wrist and I hissed in pain.
"Something the matter?"
I was forced to stop as Claude's grip tightened at the chance something was wrong. I paused as I adjusted the archer's grip as he bumped into me. "It's nothing...I just have a cut that is still healing right there…"
His grip loosened as I shook out my hand. "Oh, sorry."
I waved him off and continued to lead him further down the tunnel system I had been exploring. The twisting, turning, pathways reached far under the library, down deep into the depths of the monastery.
I led him down in silence, giving the Golden Deer ample opportunity to think. "So, Petal did something happen to your wrist?"
"Has been happening, is a better way to explain it." I emphasized as I sighed. The steady drip of water could be heard as we stopped at a fork in the road. I contemplated where I wanted to take him, unable to come to a decision, I inquired. "Left, or right?"
"Umm, I am going to have to trust you on this one. I haven't the slightest clue where we are at." Claude's voice was full of unsated curiosity at this point and I guessed he was almost fit to burst.
I shrugged in response, not caring about which direction we went. "That's my bonus, a bargaining chip for later. You'll never know where the other route will take you unless you make a deal with me."
Claude's voice was still light despite the darkness. "Soooo, what's to stop me from not nosing around down here by myself?"
I felt the Golden Deer's grip tighten ever so slightly, as I shrugged nonchalantly. "The extreme possibility that you'll take a wrong turn and never see the light of day again?"
My house leader was quick to pick up on my relaxed sarcasm. "You seem to be doing just fine, navigating like a pro in this darkness."
I snorted, still waiting for an answer to my simple question. "Tsk, I have a history of exploring tombs and ruins, I know my way around a dark maze. Can you say the same?"
"Fair point." Claude chuckled lightly, the half-hearted sound echoing down the pathways eerily.
I heard a dry rustling and leaned forward in a low hiss. "You never know what's down here so be careful! Yes, I might travel around down here blind but it's only because I know where I am going! It helps avoid detection."
I wasn't totally sure if my message was getting through to my curious house leader, so I reluctantly added. "And yes, other times I do manage to bring a light and go exploring...it's not always pretty."
"That's extremely dangerous!" Claude's voice hissed in alarm, his voice started to bounce along the stones into the expansive darkness.
The noise put me on high alert as the rustling from deeper in the depths moved. Despite the pitch black darkness, I made an effort to put my hand over his mouth.
"Hush!" I hissed softly as I managed to put my hand over my house leader's mouth. "Did you not listen to what I just said? Yes, it's dangerous down here! I have run into several monsters while exploring!"
I pressed Claude up against the wall as the rustling grew louder.
My voice was a faint whisper as I continued with a soft hiss. "The difference between you and me exploring down here is that I am expendable, you are not!"
I sensed, rather than heard, the Golden Deer take a deep breath and go quiet for a second. I was about to remove my hand when he pressed a swift kiss into the palm of my glove. With a shocked gasp, I pulled my hand away and took an unsteady step back. Claude's grip on my other hand didn't lessen as I felt my face heating up.
My surprised gasp seemed to be the reaction Claude was looking for as I heard him shifting, his uniform rustled lightly in the darkness. He had to possess a very good sense of location, because his next breath grazed over my ear as he whispered. "Now hold on, what makes you think you're expendable?"
I struggled to think, eternally glad that the forbidding darkness that hid just how flustered I was feeling.
"Just-just pick a direction, both of these lead to the surface." I tried to whisper confidently, but it came out rather breathless.
"Too scared to answer my question?" Claude's voice was low and husky as he teased me relentlessly. However, I caught a slight quiver in his voice that betrayed just the tiniest bit of a plea.
"That's the whole point of this little walk isn't it?" I snapped, gathering my wits back together and loosening my hold on the Golden Deer's hand. "Now pick a direction."
Claude realized what I was doing, and I felt his grip tighten just a bit as if to tell me he would stop and to not let go. "Hmm, and I guess you won't just tell me where each one lets out?"
"Those are secrets for a later date." I huffed softly, still flustered and caught off guard by the Golden Deer's antics.
Claude picked up on my unease and ran with it. "Ohh, so we are on a date now? Sure, is a strange place for one."
My frustration gave way to a creeping anger as I hissed irately. "If you want, I can just leave you down here!"
"Try it." The Golden Deer dared as if to test my resolve.
"Idle threats won't work down here Petal. You have already asked me to help you review the trade agreements from Enbarr, and now you have been asking me to review a possible contract for my home territory as well. Plus…" Claude tightened his grip on my hand. "You just said I am essential, but you fail to realize that you are too."
I rolled my eyes, done with the current conversation. "Sure Claude, compare me to you. Tell me how I am remotely essential to you?"
There was no noise for a short time. I held my breath as the rustling moved off down the passages. Claude heard the movement as well and he was silent, choosing his words carefully as he replied. "You're a member of the Golden Deer, right? That means you were interested in something I have to offer, right? If that's true, then..."
I interjected over top of him, playing mind games down in the depths of the monastery was not what I had in mind. "All I heard in that sentence is right, so right it is."
"So you're agreeing with me then?" Claude breathed heavily as I pulled him towards the tunnel on the right, not answering him.
As we set down a path the Golden Deer tried everything to get me to talk more. He resorted to using a variety of methods from pouting, teasing, to downright full throttle flirting before realizing I wasn't going to play anymore games. Claude finally went quiet as I continued to lead us on an upwards trending path.
I used the silence to think. I had to seriously contemplate just how many of my secrets I could let Claude in on, and which ones need to stay a secret from the noisy deer. The most pressing matter I thought the Golden Deer should be made aware of was the small matter of the Death Knight. I thought it was prudent that Claude be made aware that the Death Knight and his people had an accurate description of me and had orders to capture me on the spot. That led into some of my past origins though, and I wasn't quite certain if I should hide my past from him or if I should disclose the reason I have been traveling on the road for years.
The fact that the dark cloaked mages were aware I was back in Fodlan had been weighing on me heavily for the past few weeks. My unease was a large part of the reason I had taken to revisiting the old merchant contracts. With all the new trade and the influx of new merchants, it would be much harder to track what escape route I had used if I needed to run.
There was also the matter from the summer months. I knew now that Claude was interested and invested in crests, but I was not entirely certain as to why. Chat's with Hilda had told me that Claude possessed a minor crest of Riegan, and that he had only this past year become the heir to the Riegan house. Not knowing Claude's intentions and reasoning for investigating crests made me all the more hesitant to let my house leader know, regardless of how broken it was, about my own.
Those two issues mattered to me a lot more than anything the Golden Deer following me had to say, so I focused on figuring out how to disclose that information.
Claude and I walked for a while in silence. Me with my own thoughts and Claude, I assumed, had his own. However, my house leader's hold on my hand didn't falter and he followed me along readily enough.
Probably because I had piqued his interest and had shown him that I still possessed secrets he could uncover.
We were nearing our destination when I finally spoke up. "Claude…?"
It was the first sound I had uttered in a while and the Golden Deer perked up at the sound of his name. "Hmm?"
"Before we reach the end of this tunnel, I want…" I went silent, still not entirely certain I could trust my house leader. Rumors were ripe when it came to my house leaders coming and goings, so it was hard to pin down what was fact from fiction.
The Golden Deer's voice was ripe with more teasing as I paused near the exit. "You sure do have a lot of wants and demands huh?"
"...I want to trust you." I muttered quietly and my house leader immediately stopped teasing.
"Wait, so this is actually kind of serious isn't it?"
I nodded, aware that my body language couldn't be seen, and forced out a pointed accusation. "You were the one that asked me to talk."
I internally cursed my short temper as the words came out sharper than I intended. I scowled as my free hand brushed around the wall looking for the lock mechanism. As my hand searched the worn stone and brick, I partially blamed the man behind me for my agitation and nervousness.
Claude's voice cut through my unease as he cleared his throat. "Ya, but I didn't think it would actually work. Now what was that about trusting me?"
I scowled as my hand located the heavy lever. I muttered in a low voice, not quite believing I was speaking from my heart for once. "I want to trust you."
"Uh, huh so you don't already?"
It was impossible to read Claude's body language the same as he couldn't read mine, but the condescending tone in his voice was enough.
Avoiding the question, I asked one in return. "How much do you trust me?"
My house leader was quiet as I tugged him forward and brought our intertwined hands up to the wall. In a soft voice I whispered. "This is the end of this tunnel. You'll have to do all these mechanics by feel anyway, so here's what you're feeling for."
I guided our hands down the wall until I felt the mechanism. Then I let my hand drop and moved out of the way as he pulled the lever. The spring creaked a bit, but the door shifted open to reveal a setting sun on the west most tower.
The Golden Deer pulled the door back and whistled. "Wow, now that is some view."
Claude complimented the scenery as we both blinked in the setting sun. I stretched as I entered the fading sunlight, not surprised that we had been walking for a while. With a fleeting look down at the darkened tunnel I took a step out into the gusty wind.
I took a deep breath of fresh air, confirming that the resplendent sunset was indeed a view as I nodded over to our side. "There's a few steps over there that lead up to the landing. It's out of the wind, if you want to grab a seat for a bit."
I pointed out a set of stairs someone had built out against the rocks that still allowed for an undisturbed view as the Golden Deer continued to take in the view.
The waxing face of the moon was just starting to peek out from behind the clouds, giving an almost unparalleled sight of the setting sun, the moon, and the season's stars. The dazzling sky faded into the mountain peaks blending and becoming one with land below. I retreated to the stairs to watch another sunset while Claude poked his head around, investigating the new area thoroughly. As my inquisitive house leader looked around the platform, I leaned against the wall a knot forming in my stomach in apprehension for the conversation to come. My eyes drifted to watch the Golden Deer's silhouette moving against the setting sun.
As the Golden Deer completed his explorations, he turned to look at me. Claude's gaze was impressed, and yet still inquisitive. Not knowing what was to come, I felt another knot form in my throat.
"Huh, not a bad spot at all if you're looking for some peace and quiet. Is there some other way up here?" Claude inquired as he finished poking around the platform.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath trying to steady my nerves. I coughed once, trying to clear the lump in my throat. "While, if you can fly yes, or if you want to shoot a grappling hook up here. I suppose that would be another way to do it."
Claude let out a hearty chuckle as he stuffed his hands into his jacket pockets. "Right right, totally. I see it now someone, and by someone, I mean me, dangling off a rope a couple of stories up and having to be rescued by Petra or by your beautiful self."
I stifled a grin, his roguish charm helping to ease my nerves just a little. "I'm sure professor Byleth would be the first one to come to your aid if you were dangling off a dangerous rope."
I flicked a hand behind us, towards the watchtower. "I do know that there is an entrance to the east side of the tower, but from what I can tell, this side and that side are not connected unless you choose to break the wall down."
My house leader turned to survey the landscape, looking more melancholy than I have ever seen him. "Hmm, interesting. This would make an excellent lookout post."
"That was probably the intention at one point." I pulled one of my knees up close to me, deciding to get this over with sooner than later. "So, are you going to answer my question now?"
Claude's face pinched a little bit, betraying just the slightest hint that he had probably been trying to avoid answering my question. "Which question was that?"
I ground my teeth, my growing apprehension and doubt if I was making the right decision grew with each mind game we played. "This isn't a game Claude! I need to know if I can trust you."
"Well that's a fair question, how much can I trust you, Petal?" The Golden Deer's eyes sparkled, somehow reflecting both a glimmer of hope and fleeting fear in the fading sunlight.
I was silent as he came over and crossed his legs, situating himself on the ground in front of me.
"I trusted you, and then you drugged me." I answered him flatly, attempting to hold my anxiety back. "So, that's why you get to answer first."
"You also drugged mine." Claude was quick to point out that I had committed the first offence.
My tempter began to get the better of me and I growled, clutching my leg closer to me. "It was with medication to help you!' I was honest when you asked about it!"
Claude shrugged as he sat back. "Mine wasn't any different. You weren't sleeping well so I gave you something to help you rest easier."
I thought back to how Claude had been so suspicious of me when I offered him the tea, I contemplated if it was a good idea or not to try that angle. One look at the open, yet somehow guarded, look on the Golden Deer's face in front of me had me looking for alternative routes.
Internally I was trying to figure out how to approach the Golden Deer. I realized I wasn't getting anywhere with my defensive tactics, and I began to reflect. I didn't know that much about being an heir to a dukedom, but I guessed that assassination and kidnapping attempts were frequent and probably life threatening. So, it probably had taken a lot for him to just follow me into the darkness, and the jokes about kidnapping were probably a hint at something with a darker origin.
I bit my lip. It couldn't have been any easier for Claude then it was for me, and if the rumors were true, the Golden Deer in front of me had only recently been declared heir to the Alliance. Doubt and suspicion had to follow him around a lot, and that made sense when I considered the attitudes of some of the other Golden Deer House students.
I sighed and closed my eyes again, not wanting to get wrapped up in anything more than my own problems. I just let my thoughts filter out into the night sky. "Claude, I'll be honest. I am normally pretty good at reading people, but I can't ever seem to get a good read on you. Some things you do or say make me want to trust you, and those always seem to be the ones that matter. Then I turn around and find you doing strange things like test out poisons on people in the mess hall, plan accurate ambushes, and there are even minor instances of blackmail."
I pinched the bridge of my nose and slowly released my breath. "And that's not all! I know you're smart too, but then I see you finishing your own homework while the professor checks it! So, I don't know what to think. You always seem to have plans on top of backup plans, but you're mindful of others too."
I continued voicing my concerns not daring to look Claude in the eye. "There have been episodes where you're sneaking into the dining halls for snacks and others where you're shooting arrows in the middle of class and it's just...hard. It's like half the time I am looking at the class clown, and the next instance I have to worry if my goblet has been drugged. You there and you pull thru when it matters though, and I suppose that's all I should really be considering…"
I finally expended all my turbulent thoughts and opened my eyes to see the Golden Deer staring at me with an intensity that took my breath away.
"You really do keep a closer eye on me then I thought." Claude put his hands in front of his face, his guarded emerald green eyes peeking out at me from between his fingers. "So is your problem with trusting me rooted in a problem with my behavior then?"
"I didn't say that. I said you're unpredictable and that makes it hard for me to decide what information I can trust you with." I explained miserably, wishing I wasn't caught in this mess to begin with.
My house leader chuckled lightly but his eyes betrayed the hurt. "So, you don't trust me then…"
I exhaled, trying to watch my house leader's reactions, trying to frame my words to be truthful and honest for once, rather than pandering to what I thought he wanted to hear. "Claude, I'm trying, I really am, but I barely know you. I see a leader who is trying his best to serve his house and given the hectic circumstances you keep being given I think you do it well."
I closed my eyes, not wanting to see the next wound I inflicted with my truthful analysis. "I also see a man with severe ambitions and a thirst for power."
I paused collecting my thoughts, unsure if what I was saying was the right thing or if I was breaking whatever relationship I had with my house leader. I owed it to Claude to face him and was surprised to see that the Golden Deer seemed to be listening intently. The lack of refute, or snide comments gave me the encouragement to continue. "And yet, despite all that - I can't…I can't get the man who was in my room the other night. What I saw clearly told me you have more than one side to you, but that means nothing!"
I felt the knot in my throat come back with a vengeance, and I wasn't certain why I was trying to choke back tears. "...because it's not like you trust me either."
Claude took my entire analysis of his personality in stride, pulling his hands away from his face as he flashed me a charming wink that did not match his eyes. "If you're looking to find out which side of me is the real one, you're going to be disappointed. They are all me, Petal."
"This isn't getting anywhere." I informed him pointedly. "I'm genuinely trying to voice my concerns and you're being defensive and somehow flirty."
In response to my call out the Golden Deer scooted a bit closer and laid his head against my leg. Claude's face felt warm as he closed his eyes. "Call it a habit, I don't like being confined to a box. I told you before I like to keep people guessing and that it was one of my charms."
I was dissatisfied with Claude's answer but realized he had been upfront about his personality from the start.
"What if…" I watched my house leader's emerald green eyes flicker open to stare at me.
I decided to risk it. Risk telling my house leader almost most of the stuff I knew. Some things I still wasn't sure I should tell him, but I knew for certain that I could not let the two most important things escape his attention.
I keep my eyes locked on the sly hint of emerald that stared up at me. "What if I told you that the kidnappers who took Flayn also had a secondary objective and I knew what that was?"
"Hmm? I am listening." Claude kept his head on my leg and opened his eyes a little more in surprise as I opened up.
Satisfied that I possessed his full undivided attention now, I continued. "What would you do if I told you I was the secondary objective? That they possessed a detailed description of me and that they were able pick me out of a crowd?"
The Golden Deer thumbed his bottom lip in thought. It was easy to see he was doing calculations. I pressed my point not waiting for him to answer, uncertain if my nerves would fail me. "I'm sure you have heard something from Byleth, you're always at her side or Hilda's when you're not busy doing your own thing, so I figured you had heard that already."
I lay my head on my knee, rubbing my forehead back and forth, allowing my hair to hide my uneasy expression as I opened up. "That probably isn't new information, but I would wager all the coins I have ever possessed that you probably don't know that I was chased into Alymra?"
I didn't look up to see Claude's reaction, choosing to keep my head buried as I continued. "I was...chased out of my home when my adoptive father was killed. The men in black robes that we fought down in the sewers last week. Those men down in the sewers...wore the same masks they did."
That did it.
Claude's alarmed voice spoke volumes to the amount of surprise and concern he was withholding as he sat upright, pulling away from me. "Wait! Wait! Wait! Hold up, you're telling me you ran all the way to Alymra just to escape these guys and now they are out looking for you again? Can you at least tell me why?!"
I refused to raise my head. If I was being honest, I was scared to know what kind of face Claude was making. Instead, I hesitantly held out my hand.
"Ummm?" The Golden Der made a confused noise as I held out my hand palm up
My voice was muffled as I instructed. "Go ahead and take my glove off, carefully please."
I held my breath as Claude reached up and started unlacing my glove. The Golden Deer managed to pull the glove halfway down before he started seeing the cuts. Some of them were fresh, a few hours old with bandages still around them.
The surprise in his voice was colored with concern, and an unyielding amount of curiosity. "Ok, so this just gets weirder. Why do you have a million cuts on your arm?"
There it was. The next opening I could take. To be honest with him and tell him the other part of my story.
My voice was thick with emotion, as I tried to hold it back. "You asked why I am doing crest research, but I guess it never occurred to you that I might be the test subject?"
"That's…" Claude's voice faded off as he finished removing my glove. Roughly calloused fingers from years of archery danced lightly over my arm sending shivers up my spine.
I waited, still hiding my face while giving Claude time to process the information. As I expected he came to a quick realization as to why I had been chased into another country but unknown mages, why I hated nobles and anything to do with privilege, and he probably also attributed the scars on my back to the attack.
"You told me you fled to Almyra when your home burnt down, but this is much more isn't it?"
I felt the Golden Deer's fingers dance down my arm, avoiding the fresh wounds until he was able to thread his hand in mine. Our fingers laced together as he gave my hand a gentle squeeze.
I couldn't find the strength to say anything as I gave a small squeeze back. Unable to mask my fear as I started to shake. Realization of what I had just told my house leader weighed heavily on me, and I wasn't sure if I should run, or stay put. I fought the fight or flight sensation as Claude's genuine smile looked down at our intertwined hands.
"Well, that's quite the secret isn't it?" The Golden Deer let out a low whistle of admiration at my revelation. "Any idea why they are after your crest so badly?"
I tightened my grip on his hand as the shaking got worse. The desire to run mounting as my voice caught in my throat.
"I'll take that as a yes." Claude's voice thrummed with curiosity as I attempted to find the courage to disclose the next half of my secret.
The Golden Deer started humming, apparently amused to discover my secrets. "Well, my guess is that your crest is super rare then. If Hanneman, the leading crest scholar…"
Claude went silent as he continued thinking. "That's why you're here on a scholarship, isn't it? They are studying your crest?"
I couldn't confirm or deny his observations as I continued to shake. The Golden Deer didn't seem to mind me holding back. He hummed a little tune in between listing his thoughts and connections as I continued to keep my head down.
It felt like an eternity before I found the courage to mutter. "I shouldn't use magic anymore."
Claude paused in rattling off his theories, apparently caught off guard by this new development. "Wait - why?"
My voice caught as I tried to explain the next problem, while not revealing all my secrets. "Because...my crest is magic activated." My tense, soft, voice was nothing like my normal heavy sarcasm, and my voice shook as I continued. "We also know it's a major crest like professor Byleth's, but that's about all we know at this time. That's why I have all those...wounds on my arm. For investigation and testing."
I allowed the half-truth to roll off my tongue, not quite a lie but not quite ready to lay out some of my heavier secrets either. I was nearing my limits on what I wanted to trust my house leader with. Given that my limited magic use was important for the upcoming battles it was imperative that Claude be made aware of my limitations, and he also deserved to know about the Death Knight and the mage's targeting me.
However, I felt that Claude did not need to know about my crest powers or what happened when my crest activated. It was a secret I wasn't willing to trust him with just yet.
I felt torn, ready to run and I nearly did so when I felt a reassuring hand on the top of my head. Confused, I looked up as Claude lightly ruffled my hair. "That's good to know. Thanks for trusting me Lilianna. Now that I know a bit more, I can do a better job at looking out for you."
His reassurance wasn't what I was after and I groaned. "I don't need you to look out for me! I need this crest to go away!"
"Ha, everything's coming together now. Sorry, but I can't do anything about your crest, but looking out for you is my job right? Make sure you're doing your homework and not skipping class ? Isn't that what you trusted me with when you joined the Golden Deer?" Claude teasing helped ease my fear and I glared at him as he pushed a lock of hair out of my eyes.
"I joined the Golden Deer because you intrigued me, Mr. Von Riegan. Not for someone to look out and treat me like a dainty princess, but because you interested me." I informed him tartly.
As if sensing the opportunity Claude leaned in closer, tucking my hair behind my ear as he chuckled. "Haha, you couldn't resist my charming wit huh?"
I snorted and rolled my eyes at his teasing flirtations. "Might I remind you that you had just poisoned yourself and were on the verge of passing out? Not exactly the most charming of instances."
Claude pulled his hand away and held out my glove. "So, was it my irresistible good looks then?"
I looked down at my glove and immediately rejected him. "What? No!"
My rapid-fire rejection caused him to laugh heartily. "Ha! That was a really quick response Petal...it's almost like you're guilty."
My house leader's eyes narrowed as he gave me a sly grin. "Does your Golden Deer interest you then?"
"That is a rigged question." I answered flatly, taking my glove from him and leaning back against the cold stone wall. "Now, who's asking all the pointed questions?"
Claude easily played with my emotions as he leaned away as if in shock. "Ouch, so defensive. All right, all right, you have a fair point. As compensation, I'll answer anything you want to ask me."
It was a glorious opportunity, and I quickly thought about all the things I could ask him. I could ask him what it's like being heir to a dukedom, what his past times were, his favorite book, if he knew of any interesting pieces of literature, about any of his ever-growing plethora of poisons. What he thought of me, if he found anyone cute, why he was so close to Hilda...there were a number of things I was dying to ask him, but there was only one question that I needed an immediate answer to.
"Now that you know that I have a crest, what will you do?"
Claude took a deep breath, apparently having anticipated my question. "Nothing, for the moment. I do plan to start looking into the rumors on your mages and the Death Knight but Teach and I were already doing that before you dropped your little secret on me. There is also a tricky little bit about the upcoming battle, but you can use an axe so I can handle the rest."
He waited as if testing if I would take the bait. When I did not answer, the doubt and unease written on my half-chewed lip he put his hand on my knee and winked. "So, is there anything personal you want to ask me?"
I snorted suspecting I was falling into some kind of trap, so I asked the first thing that came to mind that might catch my scheming house leader by surprise. "Ok, I'll bite. Tell me Claude, just how long have you been hot for teacher?"
"Wa- wait what? Is that really the question you want to ask me?!" My question caught the Golden Deer completely off guard and it clearly wasn't the direction he wanted me to take.
Realizing I had hit some kind of unintended secret, I pushed for answers. "We have already established that you are obviously crushing on the professor, so how long have you been pursuing her?"
"Oh wow, ok you're really more observant than I gave you credit for." Claude started blushing heavily at my blunt questioning, but it did not escape me that he continued to keep his fingers laced together with mine.
I grinned slyly, glad to be returning the discomfort he had given me down in the tunnels. "You need a slightly better poker face sometimes."
"That's not true I have an impeccable poker face!" Claude blurted out, still trying to figure out my question.
"Uh huh, try letting your emotions into your eyes a bit more." I muttered as I tugged my hand away from his.
Claude looked down to watch as I released his hand. "Ok huh, damn you're not just observant, you're sharp. Ok, so that was totally not a question I was expecting from you."
The Golden Deer thought about my question for a second and then spoke with a tone of voice that I equated to something close to revere. "Pretty much from the start. Seeing her in action the first time was truly amazing, plus it helps that Teach is easy on the eyes."
I rolled my eyes as my house leader continued his revere. "But she is also super smart, it's almost a shame that she only sees me as a student."
"Man, sounds like you have it pretty hard there Mr. clever deer." My voice was dry as I watched the tips of Claude's ears turn a deep crimson.
My house leader attempted to laugh off his embarrassment. "Haha, yup. There now you know one of my secrets, are you happy now?"
"Not really." I sighed as the sun faded below the horizon behind Claude's head. I was still feeling uneasy, and it felt like the weight on my shoulders had only increased rather than decreased.
Claude put his chin on my knee and pouted. "Awww, are you sulking?"
I raised an eyebrow at the Golden Deer in question. "Why would I be sulking? You're obviously happy around the professor. She's one of the only people I think I have ever seen you give a true smile to and you seem to really admire her. So why should I care?"
The Golden Deer's eyes glittered as he pouted a bit. "Ouch, it's a bit frigid out here don't you think?"
"Can't say I find it cold at all." I shrugged as I looked over towards the setting sun. The last glimmers of gold sunlight fought the looming darkness of night as I watched silently, still feeling like I was missing something important.
"That was sarcasm Petal." Claude informed me tartly as I shrugged.
"Really? I couldn't tell."
My sarcasm seemed to bother the Golden Deer as he sighed and leaned back. "Ok, ok, I have another secret to share."
Claude scrubbed his hand thru his hair as I turned back to him, tilting my head to one side. I began tugging my glove back into place as my house leader scratched the bottom of his chin in thought. "You asked about my interest in Byleth, but in truth it's not really that I am interested in Teach so much as I am interested in her sword. I mean don't get me wrong, Teach is amazing, but I'm not naïve enough to think I stand a chance at gaining her attention right now."
I frowned and leaned forward toward him despite myself. "Your interest is in the Sword of the Creator?"
Claude winked at me, and suddenly I was unsure again on if he was telling me the truth or if he was simply leading me on. "Have you heard the rumor that the Sword of the Creator? It is said to have the power to cleave mountains in two. Some even say it was a gift from the goddess, to be wielded by Nemesis the King of Liberation."
"I highly doubt that." I shook my head in disbelief.
"Ya, me too but watching Teach in action makes me think that it might just be possible for her to cleave mountains." Claude's eyes glassed over for a second and then he looked back at me. "You should watch her in action sometime."
I snorted as I started to pick at the lacing on my glove. "I spar with the professor on occasion, along with Felix and a couple of the other students. I'm not in the habit of neglecting my training nearly as much as I am of neglecting my schoolwork you know."
Claude's laugh was airy this time as he watched me picking at the knot on my glove. "Speaking of which, you have been doing a lot better I see. I am getting less reports about you skipping class and I haven't needed to chase you around to give you homework packets recently."
I fumbled with one hand and debated on taking my glove off just to undo the knot. I grumbled in frustration as I picked at it. "I struck a deal with Professor Hanneman about my homework. He doesn't give me any and I take the initiative to set my tasks myself. That's part of the reason behind the trade agreements. I enjoy being useful, and its less of a waste of paper."
I didn't tell Claude about all the details of my deal with our homeroom professor but gave him enough information to not question it. A low rumble formed in my chest as the knot refused to come loose. In my growing frustration, I began to pull my glove back off.
"Here, I'll help you with that."
I blinked in surprise at Claude's offer but leaned down to offer him my arm. The Golden Deer studied the knot for a second and then used his deft fingers to undo the knot. He had the strings undone in a few seconds, and with a cleaver smirk, pulled the lacing tight.
"How's that?"
"Fine." I felt a slight rush of heat as Claude got up and stretched.
The light from the sun blinked and then disappeared out of sight, the fading reds of the retreating sunlight cast a purple glow into the night sky as the stars and moon twinkled harmlessly overhead. "Ok then Petal, now how do we get down?"
"Why do you keep calling me Petal?" I got up and dusted myself off, stretching alongside him as we both looked up at the stars.
"Cause I can, or would you rather me fawn over you? I could call you my dear instead?" Claude's smirk was mischievous, like he was hiding something from me, as his cheeky retort caused me to roll my eyes.
"Uh huh, really smooth there Claude. Alright, let me show you how to get back to ground level without jumping."
Author's Corner:
Happy 2021 everyone! Ohhh I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of the new years - an interesting way to start off the New Year yes? With a slightly spicy - ok a hell of a teaser chapter - I really hope you enjoyed that ride. This was probably one of my more favorite chapters I have wrote to date - following the little incidents with Lili smuggling Claude into her room for the night - both chapter/s hold a special place in my heart.
Anyway woot! I am still on a rush having wrote such an intense chapter - what just happened there? Lili and I are both trying to figure that out.
Claude is definitely having some fun at the expense of Lili's heart(and braincells) - and Lili is acting rather cold on his advances? If I have to take a guess it is because she is trying to be serious with him and really was stressed out about telling him some of her secrets, and he isn't realizing that she is trying to be serious.
And it's not like Lili told him everything, she's not prepared for that. If your wondering why she doesn't just come clean and tell him what her crest does, think about it, people are hunting her for it, the power of 'sight' could be very valuable to anyone who manages to get their hands on her and Claude is the next Sovereign Duke of the Leicester Alliance. If he found out, Lili fears Claude might use her, which is why she wanted a straight answer from him and why trust is so important.
Same reasoning occurs, and that lack of trust shows when Lili isn't quite prepared to tell him about her origins either. We, and the Golden Deer, do however, find out a little more about why she was in Almyra at the start of the story. Claude is thinking its bandits that also caused the scar on her back, along with forcing her to flee Fodlan. (While true, not they are not the same bandits that killed her adoptive father.) Lili's not in the mood to split hairs here however, she's genuinely terrified and really laying out some heavy problems for Claude to be made aware of.
So, in the end Lili chooses to trust him…as much as she can right now. It's taken months for Claude to gain her trust, slowly getting her to attend classes and, now she is opening up a little. To bad Lili's people skills are a bit rusty, to much hanging out with Navan at bars I guess.
As for Claude, though it's hard to say if he is just interested in knowing Lili's secrets or if it's something more. There is a clear attachment to Byleth, but as he admits he's more or less after the Sword of the Creator and not the Professor, though I don't think he would turn her down if Byleth approached him. Lili has some genuine concerns about his own character, from being cheeky and flirty, but it not showing in his eyes.
I wonder where the next adventure will take them…and what they will both do now that the next barrier as been overcome. (B support achieved?) And while I am at it I can't ignore that sneaky little kiss on her hand, the handsome devil has some sneaky moves…I wonder what Lili will do with that information. (Oh – fyi she's not oblivious to the game he's playing. Remember she hangs out with Sylvain...)
As for the next chapter - we get to see how Lili deals with the Golden Deer Houses love of parties! (Spoilers - she isn't impressed.)
