27th August 1998
"How are they all today?" Hermione asked, sitting down across from Andromeda, Severus already having been commandeered by Dean the moment they arrived.
"Good," Andromeda nodded, "Although two children were…dropped off by elves last night."
"Pardon?"
"You heard me," she sighed. "It seems as if word is getting out, Lucinda Goyle and Cadmus Rosier. They're six and eighteen months respectively and well….you know what happened to their families, it seems as if whoever had taken them in had had enough."
"Jesus," she muttered, "who the hell does that?"
Andromeda shook her head wearily, "Better they're here than with someone who doesn't want them, Hermione."
"I know," she sighed. "They've no other family?"
"We'll put out feelers, but I doubt it. In other news, Louise Jenner spoke last night during her one-to-one, and Finlay Collins moved up a room with Jennifer and Corrine. It's looking like Darren Crossley won't be far behind."
"That's good news," Hermione murmured with relief.
"They've still a long way to go but it's definitely a step in the right direction." Andromeda nodded, "The Travers siblings are still hostile, Draco's been working with them. He said he's going to bring your Blaise in tomorrow I think."
Hermione made a noise of acknowledgement, "Yes they mentioned that."
"Good, hopefully, it'll help. Years of ingrained prejudice is difficult after all." she hesitated, "Meredith Selwyn." Hermione stiffened, reading something on her face. "She's struggling still. She spent last night crying for you."
"Why didn't you send for me?"
"Because it's… it's.." Andromeda sighed heavily, before gentling her voice, "Hermione it's not healthy. You are not her parent. We didn't leave her alone, I stayed with her but she was not to be consoled."
"She four, Andy. And she's lost everything."
"And when she watches Severus grow up with you while she remains here?" Andromeda asked pointedly, "When you go home, to your family, other children…what's that going to do to her Hermione"?
She blew out a harsh breath, Andy's words piercing her like needles. She wasn't wrong but it hurt to hear them. "I don't know," she admitted in a small voice.
Andromeda hummed, a conflicted look crossing her face. "Go and see the other children. I imagine you'll find Meredith with Severus regardless. But Hermione, you must think about long term."
She nodded slowly, before wandering through the halls, spending time with the muggleborns, meeting the new children, being coerced into helping some of them duel before sitting down to lunch.
"Mummy!" Severus' voice called when he spotted her before he ran through the room to dive into the seat next to her.
"Hello you," she murmured, hugging him close, her emotions still off-kilter. "Have you had a good morning?"
"Yes! We playing outside games Mummy!" She smiled faintly, noticing Dean's worried gaze as Meredith darted from behind him and glued herself to Hermione's other side.
"Missed you, Miss Mya," she whispered.
"Missed you too," Hermione murmured, wondering what the fuck she was going to do.
They survived the day at Hippogryff House through sheer force of Hermione's will. She knew Dean had noticed there was something wrong but busyness and children needing attention kept them apart.
Now home, she knew she needed to talk to someone. Deciding that Remus was probably her best bet, wishing she had done it the last time she'd had that thought, she headed in search of him after convincing Severus he wanted to play with Winky for a little while.
She found him in the library.
"Can I talk to you?"
Remus frowned taking in her unsure expression, "Of course, you can," he gestured to the seat beside him, "What's up, Cub?"
Hermione blew out a breath. "Meredith Selwyn."
"Ah," Remus nodded, "I had wondered when we would be having this chat."
"You did?"
"Yes."
"What do I do?" she whispered, "Andy said she cried for me last night and she's scared she's getting too attached."
"What do you want to do?" Remus countered.
"I don't know!" she exclaimed, already feeling tearful. "She's different from the others, and it's not her age, Merlin knows we're starting to get younger ones. I just…. Severus is a lot. On top of NEWTs, that I haven't even started revising for and the House and the werewolf and house elf plans and…"
"Hermione, stop!" Remus commanded softly, wrapping an arm around her. "What do you want to do?" he repeated.
She blew out a breath, "I don't know if can look after two children and do it justice," she admitted.
"But you want to."
"Yes," she whispered. "I hate leaving her there. The thought of her crying for me and no one telling me, of her thinking that I don't care enough to come, physically hurts."
Remus hummed, "I want you to sit on it until after NEWT's," he said eventually, "We'll talk to Andy, but I need you to think about it, really, really think about it. She's only four and she doesn't need someone else disappearing on her. I think we need to work on getting her comfortable with other people, perhaps if she has someone else to go to you might not feel quite as strongly. Susans started hasn't she?"
Hermione nodded, trying to decide how that made her feel. She knew it was reasonable advice. She had to be absolutely sure she was making the right decision, two children depended on it. "OK."
"I know you want to do something now," he smiled gently, "But there's more than just you. And….and Godric I can't believe I'm saying this, if you intend for Mr Zabini to be staying, perhaps he also needs to be included in the discussion. Not to have the final say, you'll have to make your own mind up but as something else to consider. Two children right now might be a deal breaker, and you need to know how that influences things."
Hermione slumped into his side, "Thanks Remus," she murmured, her brain whirling as she tried to make sense of it all.
28th August 1998
"Uncle Ron!" Severus screeched as Ron brushed the soot off of his robes, "Dillon's breathing fire and we used him to wake Grandpa up and he said the words Mummy says I'm not allowed to!"
Ron laughed as he picked Severus up and swung him up in the air. "Oh dear, how cross is mummy now?"
"She told Grandpa she's going to scourgify his mouth."
"I'm surprised she didn't just do it," Ron muttered, as he walked through to the livingroom, Severus perched on his hip."Percy!"
"Ronald."
"What are you doing here?"
"Uncle Percy came to speak to mummy but she had to finish something with Uncle Draco so he's playing Lego with me!" Severus answered for him gleefully.
Ron blinked taking in the room where Lego bricks were scattered everywhere, interspersed with the larger ones he was sure Hermione had called Duplo. In the middle of it, Percy sat, looking more relaxed than Ron had ever seen him.
"Right then." he nodded, putting Severus down.
"You come play too Uncle Ron?"
Biting back a groan, Ron nodded, "Sure, little man."
Hermione and Draco found them half an hour later, imitating cars and dinosaurs, varying structures littering the floor. It was all they could do not to stare.
"Mummy, Uncle Draco, quick! The Uncle-Percy-o-saurus is going to eat me!" Severus squealed running to them when he spotted them in the doorway.
Percy flushed red as Hermione caught a giggling Severus around the middle. "Having fun?" she smirked.
Standing sheepishly, Ron rubbed the back of his head, "Mione….Malfoy. I ah…came by to see what you were up to."
Attempting to hide her amusement, Hermione nodded, "Did you now? Draco and I were just discussing some plans for the children and Narcissa's plans for fundraising, but we're done now."
"How is the fundraising going?"
"Reasonably well, Narcissa definitely has a knack. We're hosting a ball at Christmas by the way." she pinned both Weasley's with a look, "Attendance is expected."
"Yes because my last one went so well," Ron muttered.
Hermione rolled her eyes at him, "I doubt Lavender will put up with the nonsense Padma did."
"Fair point," Ron conceded. "You're seeing her soon aren't you?"
"Yes. Gin, Susan, Lavender and I are going out for dinner tonight."
"Tonight?" he checked with a frown.
"Yes. Why?"
"Damn it, I thought it was tomorrow."
"Nope, sorry, tomorrow Andromeda's off so I'm at the House all day."
"Bugger," he muttered quietly, silently rearranging plans inside his head before he smirked, "When is Zabini taking Severus out again?"
Percy snorted, "I heard the last time went swimmingly."
"Yes, thank you," Hermione replied dryly, "Not tomorrow, I'm going next time so there'll be no repeats of vanishing or increasing his vocabulary unnecessarily."
"Where are you going?"
"Soft play for my sins," she muttered, "And then lunch. I figured keeping it uncomplicated was probably best."
"What in the name of Merlin is soft play?" Draco demanded.
"It's a…building for children with climbing and play equipment that's well…soft, I suppose."
"Oh," he frowned.
"Don't worry Draco I'll take you next time," she promised, wanting to laugh at the wary look on his face.
"We really need some wizarding versions," Percy murmured.
"Well do feel free to suggest it to someone who isn't me, Percy. I'm not adding anything else to the to-do list, it's long enough."
Percy laughed, "I say Fred and George but Merlin only knows what you'd end up with. Sirius? He was complaining he was bored.
"I know, I sent him to the House to play with the children," she muttered. "Bored, honestly! But I don't know, I don't see it being his thing."
"No, perhaps not. I'll think about it though," Percy mused. "There must be someone."
"Mother might like it," Draco voiced. "It would, unfortunately, need your input Cousin, but could we use it to funnel money back into the House?"
"Maybe," she agreed slowly. "I need NEWTs to be over with before I can take on anything else though. The paperwork for the House alone is other level."
"Other level?" Draco queried with a frown.
"Oh! It just means there's loads of the sodding stuff."
"AH." he nodded. "Did you find more elves?"
"Four," she agreed, "Thank all the Gods. Kings is pushing the Wizengamot next month to get them to agree to monitoring wizarding children. We're hoping it passes but I doubt it. If it does though, Merlin only knows how many we'll end up with."
"On the plus side, I heard he agreed to your reserve." Ron ginned.
"Yes, I need to send Fred and George something to thank them for that. That dragon made all the difference. I wonder if it would be the same if we gifted some to the Wizengamot."
"I think it might count as a bribe," Percy informed her dryly.
"Damn." she muttered as Severus' plaintive voice interrupted them, "Uncle Ron, Uncle Percy come and play!"
"Well, we've been summoned," Percy laughed, heading in Severus' direction.
"Stay for lunch?"
"I'll never say no to food Mione, you know that!" Ron grinned, "But I can almost feel your son's glare so I'm going to go and do as I'm told."
"One of you could occasionally tell him no, you know," she pointed out knowing it was utterly pointless.
"Nah, it's fine. Getting some practice in. Lavender mentioned wanting a big family the other night. The little one at your House has her all broody."
"Emma?" Hermione checked, "The six month old?"
"That's the one," he agreed, "and her brother, he's five isn't he?"
"Jack," she agreed.
Ron hummed, "I ah…on a scale of one to don't be so bloody stupid Ronald, how hard is it?"
Hermione gaped at him for a moment and he flushed, "I've always wanted kids. Not as many as Mum and definitely not as close together but…." he eyed Draco who took the hint and mumbled something about checking on Winky and Kreacher. "The healers said the scars might be an issue."
"Lavender scars?"
"Yes. Something about them pulling too thin during pregnancy. They're cursed, you know, not like normal scars. And apparently in actual werewolves the body adapts, but they're not sure that'll be the case for someone like Lavender. And Merlin Hermione, it looks like he tried to gut her."
"I know" she agreed quietly.
"I don't want to take the risk." he all but whispered.
Hermione blew out a breath, "I'm not going to say it's easy. It's not. But…as Susan reminded me earlier, there are a lot of people who are willing to help. Honestly Ron, talk to Lavender, but if you really, really want to do this then I won't talk you out of it. I will remind you that we're only young and medical advances happen all the time. People like Lavender and Bill were nonexistent before the war, but now….well, we know there's a few now. And, the House isn't going anywhere, if you don't decide to adopt now, you can revisit it later."
Ron hummed, "Thanks, Mione."
"Uncle Ron!" Severus' demanding voice sounded behind them
"Severus Granger-Black you have some patience!" Hermione scolded, "Unce Ron was talking to me."
"Sorry Mummy," he replied, "But Dillon's about to get eaten by the astronauts!"
Ron snorted, "Well, we can't have that, can we?"
Hermione watched, shaking her head fondly as Ron ambled back over to the game, making a show of rescuing Dillon from the astronauts.
"They're staring," Ginny muttered as she sat down.
"I know," Hermione agreed, reaching for the wine bottle, "Want to be the headline paints me as an alcoholic struggling to cope after the war?"
Lavender snorted, "Probably. I'll be on the next page. Part werewolf drowns her sorrows….."
"Chosen one not attached to Ginny Weasley's hip, is there trouble in paradise?" Ginny offered.
"Gods Im glad no one knows who the fuck I am," Susan muttered, making them all laugh.
"Until of course the first time one of them spots you with Draco," Hermione reminded her pointedly.
"Gods" Susan groaned, "Maybe I don't like him!"
"Liar!" Lavender scoffed, "he has you all off kilter."
"Ugh, piss off all of you!" Susan exclaimed as Ginny made little love hearts with her wand, sending them to encircle Susan.
"Nah," she grinned, "You'd miss us."
"Would I though?" she muttered ominously.
"Of course, you would," Ginny nodded, topping up her wine. "Who else do you think you're going to complain to when he invariably annoys you? Merlin knows I'd have Avada'd Harry ten times over without being able to rant to someone."
"You make an interesting point. Mya…anything to add? You've been suspiciously rant free."
Lavender snorted, "No she hasn't. You should have heard her ranting about Severus' new phrase. He's really rather fond of it. I'm surprised Zabini couldn't feel her rage from wherever he was."
"And yet he remains unexhed." Ginny lamented.
"His mothers calling herself Abuleita," Hermione interjected.
"No!" Lavender gasped, "You didn't tell me that!"
"Ugh I…I'm trying to be grateful she's supportive but…"
"It feels like massively overstepping?" Susan offered.
"Little bit." she agreed.
"Merlin never introduce her to Mum," Ginny muttered, "I swear to Circe, if I hear one more time how nice a summer wedding would be I might smother her. I'm too bloody young to consider getting married. I want to focus on finishing school first!"
"Ron mentioned it," Lavender mumbled.
"Me getting married?" Ginny frowned.
"No! Us getting married!" Lavender rolled her eyes.
"And?" Hermione prompted.
"I don't know." she muttered, "It feels…a lot. But the baby…."
"Ah," she nodded. "So. I suppose I could remind you you don't need to be married to adopt. or….I could tell you what I told Ron."
"Which is?" Lavender sighed.
"There are always going to be children needing a home. There's no rush right now."
"Says the woman who adopted Severus Snape," Lavender replied pointedly.
"Yes," she sighed, "But the circumstances were slightly different and you know it," she paused, "However, at the risk of sounding like a massive hypocrite, I spoke to Remus about Edie."
The table stilled, "And?" Susan prompted.
"He said the same as you. Finish newts and revisit."
"And are you going to?"
"I think so." Hermione sighed, "It's…hard. I understand where Lavender's coming from because I don't want to adopt them all…or I do but not for the same reasons. I feel drawn to her, and I don't know how else to describe it but…I not really in the right place to consider another child."
Lavender blew out a breath. "And that's the issue, isn't it? I'd take them home tomorrow but I don't know if it's the right decision for them and it's not something you can take back is it?"
"No," Hermione agreed softly. "It's not."
"Well…." Ginny muttered, "I don't actually know what to say to that. I don't want kids for a long time. I want a life first."
"I think I'd quite like one," Susan murmured, startling them all.
"Now?" Ginny checked.
"I mean…soonish. Its…I'm the last one left."
"Oh Sue," Hermione murmured, reaching for her. "I thought…you said you weren't ready right now…."
Susan shrugged, "I thought about it after I left. And I've been considering an older child. Not to parent as such but as a sibling."
"That's…." Ginny started, staring at her before trailing off. "I don't think I hate the idea."
"No. I was going to speak to Andromeda. She seems to be good at telling people when they're being an idiot."
"She is that." Hermione snored, privately thinking that that was exactly what Andromeda would tell her.
30th August 1998
"Where exactly are we going?" Blaise checked trying not to fidget under her stare as she assessed his outfit.
"Soft play," she murmured distractedly, transfiguring his shirt into something he'd never worn before in his life. "It's a polo shirt," she explained seeing his slightly stunned expression, "They'll think you've lost your mind if you turn you to soft play in a shirt and tie." she paused, "Jeans would also be a shout but it might a step too far today. Keep the jumper. "
"Right, " he muttered, looking down at himself in confusion. At least whatever he was wearing had a collar. "And soft play is?" he prompted again.
Her grin was shark-like, "You'll see."
She led him into a building that was made from some sort of wavy material that he'd never seen before in his life, when she opened the door, the noise hit him with a punch and he paled seeing more small children than he ever wanted to. All of them were screaming, shouting, or in the case of one of them, crying.
He was absolutely astounded that the witch actually paid someone to come here until he looked down at Severus and noticed he was practically vibrating with excitement.
"Tea?" Hermione asked, attempting to look innocent.
"They don't do anything stronger?" he asked dryly.
"Sadly not." she replied, "They probably should soft plays are brutal."
"And yet my first excursion into your world you brought me here. Do you secretly hate me?"
"So dramatic." she scoffed, "Think of it this way, if you can survive two hours here, you can survive anything."
He looked around the giant room with barely concealed apprehension. "Right," he muttered. "Why are you taking off his shoes?" he blurted two minutes later.
"Because you can't go in with shoes," she explained patiently, pointing at the sign on the wall as Severus bolted into the structure. "Right, tea. We've maybe twenty minutes before he comes looking for one of us to join him."
"What?" Blaise squeaked.
"Ah don't worry about it, he'll take you exactly where he wants you to go and if you don't think too hard about what might be lurking there, everyone loves a ball pit."
He stared after her incredulously as she approached a counter with a sullen-looking boy who couldn't have been much younger than them, behind it returning with tea, cake and a funny little bottle she explained was juice for Severus.
"What ah…exactly is the point of this place?" he muttered, taking a sip of his decidedly lacklustre tea. The cake was decent at least though.
"To entertain your children for thirty seconds and attempt to tire them out?" she suggested. "I'm told the older they get the more likely they are to leave you alone for a little bit."
Right be nodded, tensing when Severus appeared.
"I have cake Mummy?" he checked. Hermione's eyes darted to the clock.
"Absolutely not you've been here ten minutes, go and play!"
"You come!" he begged.
Rolling her eyes Hermione got up from her seat, sending a subtle stasis charm at her tea so it remained hot. "Go on then, lead the way."
Yes!" he shouted tugging her forward and into the structure so far that Blaise lost sight of them.
He saw them fifteen minutes later, Hermione breathless and laughing as she raced Severus down a slide that for some reason had waves in it that made them bounce, both of them giggling like toddlers when they hit what he assumed was the ball pit the witch had mentioned.
"Again Mummy!" he heard Severus cry as he seemed to swim to the side, tugging his mother back into the depths of what Blaise was beginning to suspect was one of the circles of hell as yet another snotty child came out red-faced, tearful and screaming.
He jumped, having been lost in attempting to occlude enough that he could pretend his ears weren't ringing with the sheer volume of the screams when Severus appeared at his side with a pink-cheeked Hermione. "You come, Mr Zabini!"
"What?" Blaise looked at him with wide eyes, "Ah no…surely I'm over the height limit?"
"Mr Zabini!" he whined making Hermione snort, "You come down the slide!
Blaise groaned, knowing he wasn't winning this as Hermione sang "shoes off," with a wicked little smirk that he wanted to kiss off her face. Assuming that would not be appropriate for the setting, he sighed, removing his shoes, almost stumbling when Severus tugged impatiently on his arm and dragged him into the middle of the earsplitting screams of the children.
Finally, after two hours of hell, they left, shutting the door to blissful silence. Attempting to ignore the way his ears were ringing, he turned to Hermione. "Tell me that I get something stronger than tea now?" he begged.
"Gods yes," she muttered. "Lunch?"
"With ice cream, Mummy?"
"You've just eaten a slice of cake bigger than your head!" she protested, "No ice cream, Imp!"
He pouted, "frog then?" he tried, pinching his pointer finger and thumb together, tilting his entire body to peer through them comically "They're little!"
"They're not that little," Hermione snorted, "Now do you want lunch or not?"
Severus sighed heavily, "Fine Mummy."
"Brat," she muttered fondly.
"Where do you want him, Granger?" Blaise asked as they stepped into the floo following lunch, Severus sound asleep on his shoulder.
"Upstairs, I imagine we'll get an hour or so after all the running about he did this morning."
"Winky will take him," Winky announced, scaring Blaise out of his skin.
"Thanks, Winky," Hermione murmured, sinking down on the sofa gratefully, "I always underestimate how bloody awful soft play is."
Blaise snorted, sitting down beside her, "How?" he demanded plaintively. "I'll be having nightmares of that place for weeks."
"Nah, you forget when you realise they sleep for a bit after it."
"AH," he nodded "Is that where they get you?"
"Unfortunately," she agreed.
"What have you done with the rest of your household"? He inquired lightly, when it became clear no one else was appearing, ignoring Hermione's knowing look.
"Remus and Draco are at the House today, I'm not entirely sure where Sirius is, to be honest. I'm sure Harry had no plans today and I heard him mumbling about first motorbikes." she froze suddenly, "Merlin I hope he was talking about Harry and not Severus."
Struggling to bite back his amusement at that idea, Blaise hummed. "Remus said I should talk to you," she blurted suddenly, and he tensed, wondering where the fuck this was going. Other than briefly losing her son, it had been going reasonably well, he thought. Fuck. Maybe it wasn't. Maybe he was imagining it. Maybe losing her son due to unexpected accidental magic was a bigger deal than he had anticipated. It wasn't like he'd meant to! No one expected a toddler to apparate for Merlin's sake! And her father had lost him too, hadn't he? And he'd apologised. Profusely. And it would never happen again, even if it meant he had to magically tether Severus to him.
"About?" he hedged, trying to get control of his spiralling thoughts.
"Meredith Selwyn," she answered confusing him completely.
"What?"
"Beyond waiting until after NEWTs, I'm struggling to make a decision about her. And he suggested that on the off chance this isn't a temporary fling," Blaise stared at her, trying not to show how horrified that idea made him, "well…he thought I should at least consider your opinion."
"You think this is temporary?" he checked unable to form any other sentence.
"I think that it's still early," she corrected gently, "I know that if I'd grown up in this world, Sirius would have already had a sealed betrothal contract signed and be visiting your mother to plan the wedding but I didn't. And muggles typically take longer to make the commitment."
He hummed, working through that in his head, "How long?" he asked
"Honestly? Some of them take years." she shrugged, "And I have Severus to consider too."
He nodded, "That's…fair. But Meredith Selwyn?"
"She feels different to the other kids," she whispered.
"Different how?"
"She feels like Severus." Hermione shrugged. "And I…I can't consider another child right now but after NEWTs? I don't know how much longer I can ignore it, especially as she is still struggling to settle into the House. We've introduced her to Susan to see if I feel less intense if I'm not her sole focus but, to be honest, I'd be surprised if it made a difference."
He nodded slowly, "I…I see. And…" he paused, "I don't know what you want from me," he admitted.
"Remus pointed out that this might be a deal breaker."
"Oh."
"Is it?"
"I don't think so?" he replied slowly. "Are you…against biological children?"
"No," she replied carefully, "But I don't actually know if I can have them. The Healers seemed to think that after Dolohov there might be some issues. Madam Pomfrey speculated that Bellatrix probably didn't help matters."
"Fuck Hermione," he whispered, reading the devastation on her face before bundling her into a hug. "If you really want one, we'll figure it out. Between us, we could buy the entire wizarding world. We should be able to do something."
"You dont know that," she murmured softly.
He shrugged, "Then we adopt as many children as you want."
"But that's…."
"Stop talking," he ordered seeing where she was going. "If you truly cannot have children and you want more than Severus and apparently Meredith Selwyn, then we'll adopt them. As many as you want. Well…within reason. I draw the line at double figures but anything up to that."
Shaking her head as she attempted to work through those emotions, Hermione eventually tipped her head up and kissed him breathless until Winky's scandalised reprimand made them separate.
"I've wanted you for a very long time you daft witch," he murmured, into the top of her head when she cuddled back into him, "Do you honestly think children are going to be a deal breaker, that I didn't think about it seriously after you adopted Severus?"
"We're eighteen," she mumbled. "It's…we're young still."
He shrugged, jostling her, "Then we'll spend our forties when all the kids are grown travelling the world and being idiots while our friends are still knee-deep in nappies and exhausted."
Hermione laughed, "A plan even Sirius would approve of."
"Well there you go then," he smirked, pulling her closer and they both enjoyed the silence after the chaos of the morning.
