Protégé

Chapter 16

A/N: This story is just flowing from my veins, brain, and fingers. It's my main source of distraction. Hopefully it's still up to par. Happy Thanksgiving to any Americans reading this over your long weekend, from your friendly neighbour to the north of you, aka Canada. Shorter Chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't even own an actual TV let alone SVU.

Saturday Night, Captain Cragen's Retirement Party, Bernie and Joseph Stabler's House

Olivia stumbled and paused at the door to the backyard. She tried to catch her breath after practically running from Elliot's bedroom.

She saw Ed Tucker standing with Elliot's father and some other older officers around a small bonfire. Cragen and Munch were among them as well.

Olivia wiped the skin under her eyes, she should go back to the powder room to make sure she looked presentable. It wasn't even 9pm, and her entire squad was still present, it would look odd if she left this early into the night. She was happy she had already said her speech, because she didn't think she'd be capable of talking in front of so many people now.

Olivia spotted Nick, Amanda and Carisi sitting in some chairs around a small table.

The yard was lit by a couple small fires, as well as lines of string lights along the fence.

Olivia looked between Ed Tucker and the few members of her squad. The choice of who she walked to she knew would dictate the rest of her night. She knew if she walked towards her unit members that she could converse for a bit and then make an excuse to leave. If she went to Tucker she knew she'd be waking up in his bed in the morning.

Her eyes bounced between the two groups, but she was distracted by her decision when someone knocked into her from behind.

"Oh sorry my bad," Fin apologized, not even realizing who he had walked into.

"Fin?" Olivia smiled slightly, rubbing her detective's shoulder, as he tried to find his balance after walking into her.

"Damn Liv, why were you standing in the doorway?" Fin inquired curiously.

"Uhhh," she couldn't very well confess to the decision she was trying to make, or what she had decided.

"Oh you looking for us? Amaro, Carisi and Rollins are over there," Fin pointed across the yard. He didn't wait and started walking towards their crew, Olivia falling into step with him.

The three detectives looked up as Fin and Olivia approached.

"Liv! Where have you been all night?" Nick exclaimed happily.

Olivia sat down in one of the empty seats and immediately crossed her long tanned legs. She couldn't help noticing that all their eyes, including Amanda's, focused on her exposed skin. Was Elliot right? Were people attracted to her? Even if they were it was simply superficial. The moment she opened up to most people in the past, they always left. It was the one life lesson her mother had drilled into her.

Her squad was probably only staring because they weren't use to seeing her expose so much skin. The deep purple dress had thin halter straps that wrapped around her neck. The stretchy material clung to her body, coming to end a couple inches above her knees.

Olivia cleared her throat, "Uh I've been around, was talking to Tucker, then headed inside for a bit to use the bathroom."

She glanced across the yard at Tucker, as much as she truly wanted the distraction, not to mention her need for some good sex, she was happy she had decided to come talk to her squad, before Fin had collided with her, and dragged her over to her detectives anyways.

"Oh I was just in there myself, I didn't see you," Fin replied.

Olivia cut her eyes back to her squad, "I didn't see you either," she smiled. "Think I used it before you, and then I was trying to find some people I actually knew to talk to."

Fin nodded, and dropped the subject the rest of her crew picking up the conversation.

"Hey you okay?" Rollins whispered towards her. "You look a little frazzled?"

Olivia paused, "Uhhh yes, not a fan of speaking at these parties, think my nerves were a little ahhh, from earlier." Olivia shook her hands, trying to explain a shaky state of mind, that she didn't really feel.

Her breath hitched as she heard Carisi ask if anyone had seen Elliot.

If Amanda noticed the break in her demeanour she didn't mention it to the guys.

"No I haven't seen him in the last half hour at least," Nick replied.

"Odd," Carisi stated as he scanned the small dance floor set up in the backyard. "Rollins care to dance?" he asked holding out his hand as he stood from his chair.

Amanda smiled and accepted his offer, letting him pull her to the dance floor.

"How do they get away with it?" Fin asked while taking a sip of his beer.

"What do you mean?" Olivia inquired carefully, slightly worried about what he would say out loud.

"Everyone knows they're bumpin' uglies, and yet no one says anything. They have no fear. They're literally flaunting their relationship in front of their boss, their boss's boss, and his boss too. As well as cops from all over the state, and the brass from their own district," Fin explained.

Nick shrugged as he sipped on a glass of whiskey, "Honestly man, I think they're willing to risk it, if anyone calls them out on it."

"What you mean?" Fin asked, not understanding Nick's statement.

"What I mean is, I think they've reached the point in their relationship that they're both willing to risk their positions, to be together," Nick explained.

Olivia couldn't keep her thoughts to herself, "Wow really? After how hard they've both worked? You think they're willing to sacrifice all that work, time, and effort to be together outside of work?"

Nick nodded, "When you meet someone special and, you make a connection with someone unlike anything you've ever experienced before? Losing your job or switching departments, is a small price to pay."

Fin hummed in agreement around the mouth of his empty beer bottle. "You guys want anything?" he asked, indicating he was heading inside to grab himself another beer.

Olivia nodded, "Can you grab me one too?"

"I got you Cap," Fin winked and squeezed her shoulder as he walked by her back into the Stabler house.

"It sounds like you were talking from experience?" Olivia probed, for some reason she wasn't ready to let the subject drop yet.

Nick downed the rest of the whiskey he was drinking. "I thought about it, with SVU, and how I could make it work."

Olivia furrowed her eyebrows, not understanding, "Something with your ex wife?"

Nick turned his head away from her, his knees were bouncing up and down as he looked to the ground. "No, uh-with, well pertaining to you. You and me. Before I confessed my feelings to you, drunk at my own birthday party. I looked into it, went back and forth, trying to determine if losing my position at SVU would be worth it."

Olivia thought you could probably pick her jaw off the grass beneath her feet. She wasn't expecting that confession especially after everything else she had experienced that evening and night. "And?"

Nick finally turned his auburn eyes on her, he smiled, his pearly whites adorning his handsome face. "Of course, easiest decision of my life, you'd be worth going to a different unit for in a heartbeat."

Olivia gulped loudly, "Any chance you're drunk now too?"

Nick chuckled, "Don't worry Liv, I'm not going to try again. I heard you that night even if I was drunk. Maybe at a different time or place, but I have a feeling our time has already passed. Don't get me wrong, you're amazing, but I get it, you've worked hard your whole life to get to where you are. To risk that to date one of your detectives? That guy, that relationship, would have to be pretty damn special, you'd have to see a future, a sure thing, I get it."

Olivia looked up at the dim light still emanating from the window at the top of the Stabler house. She couldn't help the loud sigh that escaped her lips, knowing Elliot was still up in his room. The things Nick was describing were giving her goosebumps. Not because she associated them with him, because she related them to the man upstairs.

Olivia turned her attention back to Nick, "It could've been you," she agreed, she thought she could have been decently happy with Nick, once upon a time.

"Sorry, what could've been me?" Nick asked curiously.

"You're right," Olivia continued, "I think if you had made a move, or if we had confessed our feelings at a different time, we could have made a go of it years ago, before I started climbing the ranks."

Fin suddenly reappeared, holding 2 bottles of beer in one hand, and a glass of dark brown liquid in his other hand, he didn't hesitate to pass Nick the glass before depositing one of the beer bottles on the table in front of Olivia.

Olivia picked up the beer as she heard Nick thanking Fin for the drink, despite not asking him for it.

Olivia was sorely tempted to chug the cold beer, but her actions were interrupted by Nick clinking his glass against her bottle. "To missed opportunities, and living life with no regrets," he toasted.

Missed opportunities? No regrets?

Olivia knew she had at least 3 opportunities to have sex tonight. She had no doubt that she could leave this party with Tucker. They'd hooked up before, and while he wasn't the best sex of her life, he had managed to satisfy her in the past. She also thought if she propositioned Nick, that he too would probably share a bed with her. What concerned her the most and had her reaching for her cellphone to call a cab, was that the only man she would regret not sleeping with, was currently holed up in his own bedroom, just feet away, thinking she didn't want him.

"You leaving already?" Fin asked when she pressed the red button on her blackberry after talking to the cab dispatcher.

"Yes, it's been a long week guys," Olivia tried to make an excuse for her early exit. Truthfully she had to get out of there before she took one of the men up on one of those opportunities.

"I'll see you on Monday," Olivia told them, she waved to Cragen from across the yard, she had planned to meet him for lunch the following week before he left for some much needed R&R in Florida with his girlfriend and her family.

Olivia walked through the Stabler's home, draining her beer as she neared the front door. She almost bumped into Sergeant Joseph Stabler as he stood with a shorter woman by the door, saying goodbye to another older couple.

"Ah Captain Benson, leaving so early? I hope you had a good time at least?" Joe inquired.

"Of course Sir! It's good to see you as always," Olivia held out her hand to shake his. She knew who the woman beside him was, she had seen her through the crack between Elliot's bedroom door and wall, but they had never been face to face, or formally introduced.

"My apologies, Bernie honey, this is Elliot's new boss, Captain Olivia Benson, of the 16th precinct SVU," Joe introduced her to his wife.

The surprise on Bernie Stabler's face couldn't be more obvious or evident. Olivia wondered what part of her shocked Bernie. Was it just the fact she was a woman?

Olivia once again held out her hand, slightly surprised when the older woman clasped it between both of hers.

"I'm sorry dear, I just wasn't expecting such a beautiful young woman to be my son's new boss," Bernie exhaled curiously, smiling politely.

Olivia laughed lightly, "Trust me I'm not that young."

"Compared to Cragen, you're practically a child," Joe joked.

Bernie chuckled, "How is Elliot performing?" Joe continued to press.

Olivia couldn't help the blush that was heating her cheeks, as memories of her and Elliot flashed before her eyes. She closed her eyelids as the scenes played rapidly through her mind; her straddling him on her couch in her apartment, him sitting in her office chair as he 'performed' an assessment for her, the way he practiced frisking her in the interrogation room, him rubbing up against her on a stage wearing some assless chaps. She swayed as she was bombarded with image after image.

Olivia was brought out of her sexual memories when Bernie grabbed her bicep, once again unknowingly interrupting something with her son, "Are you okay dear?" This woman was quickly developing the uncanny ability to turn her off, with nothing but the sound of her voice.

"Ye-yes," Olivia stuttered. "Fi-fine, uhhh just another reason I should be heading home," she said as she held up her empty beer bottle, "I've had a few, and after a long week they just go straight to my head."

Olivia tried to smile at the couple in front of her, but she knew it probably looked more like a grimace. Truthfully she had always been able to handle her alcohol. She wasn't sure if it was something she inherited from her mother, but she had always had a high tolerance to anything she drank.

She could still feel a blush donning her face and chest as she stood in front of her boyfriend's unknowing parents. What would they say if they had met her under different circumstances? Would Bernie still have had that same surprised reaction if she had been introduced to her as Elliot's girlfriend instead of his boss?

"Of course, I've been there many times myself Captain, get home safe," Joseph told her, holding his front door open for her, he took her empty beer bottle as well, insisting he'd put it with the others.

Olivia gave them a small smile, and nod as she exited the house, "Have a good night," she called over her shoulder as she left the home.

There were a few people milling about the front yard, Olivia spotted her cab immediately. Not wasting any more time, she briskly walked to the empty taxi. She could still hear the music playing from the backyard, if half the police in the state hadn't been at the party at some point that day, she was sure their neighbours would have called the cops for the excessive noise.

Olivia paused as she opened the cab door, glancing around the dark street, she thought she heard someone call her name. Not seeing anyone she knew, she climbed in the back of the car.

Olivia rattled off her address, and leaned her head against the headrest in the backseat, closing her eyes and, once again not hearing the man outside call her name or chase after her cab.

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A/N: Who chased after her? All mistakes mine.