By the time I reach my perch, it's dark. When I was a kid, my father hated when I'd stay out here in the dark. Even as a small child, my father never followed me. He knew I needed to be away: away from my chaotic home, away from the noise, away from the reminder that I wasn't like my sisters, away from the fact that my mother hated me.
On our property, there were many HUGE scattered rock formations. My hidden haven is on one of these structures with a perch on the left side. My perch had me facing the beautiful untouched desert and not my home. After a short climb, you can find my perch - a little cave that fits two sitting adults - a younger me could fit here perfectly for overnight stays. When adult me stays here overnight, I wake up with really bad neck/back pain. The top of the cave had a lip that folded upwards and it sheltered me perfectly from the rain. When I was younger, I'd imagine my Apache ancestors using this perch for shelter.
With my legs tucked in my cave uncomfortably, I lie in the fetal position facing my desert. I close my eyes letting the nothingness of sleep consume me.
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"Rocky."
My eyes flash open as Charlyne's quiet voice awakens me. I quickly realize two things. One: I'm FREEZING. Two: Every inch of me is soaking wet and I'm unable to stop my body from shaking. I let out a deep sigh remembering why I was in my cave. My stiff and cold body slowly descends my perch. As I near the earth below, I jump down. With a loud thud, my boots slightly sink in the wet mud.
Charlyne lights my path toward her. She is using the high-powered military-issued flashlight I gave her for Christmas last year. On a clear night, the moon is my nightlight, but at present it's covered by pillowy/puffy dark rain clouds. I glance up at the sky and sigh, it had stopped raining.
Charlyne loudly giggles as every sloshy step I take sounds similarly to flatulence.
Everything on me feels soggy and heavy. Every step feels as if I'm moving in slow motion. My teeth continue to loudly chatter together and I can't help but giggle too at how ridiculous I probably look and sound.
As I near Charlyne Lucas, I jokingly stretch out my arms for a hug and she leaps away from me. We both dip and dive around each other. Me trying to get her muddy and her trying to escape.
"Rocky…No! I want to stay dry and clean." To her advantage she is currently much quicker than I am. Running around with wet clothes that seem 50 pounds heavier is a bad idea when you're trying to catch someone.
After about 30 seconds of this, I stop and slowly walk toward my home following her single light beam.
"Hey Char – it looks like you have a really long lightsaber."
She stops in her tracks and shuts off her light. I loudly laugh knowing full well saying that would make her furious.
"How dare you? How dare you mention that revolting franchise?"
She waits for an apology. I wait too – to see where she's going with this.
She quickly points her high-powered light beam at my face and I protectively shut my eyes.
"WOW…Char. Really? You want to blind me now. Geez, sorry."
"AND." Her semi-irritated tone had me laughing again as the Stadium-like light beams continued to blaze on my face.
"I'm sorry I said you were holding the world's most useless make-believe weapon. I'm sorry I mentioned the word lightsaber."
"AND"
"All hail Star Trek." With my eyes closed shut I give her my best cheesy smile and flash her the universal Spock hand gesture, and she removes the light from my face.
"So… what happened Rocky?"
I slowly walk toward her light and shake my head. That's an open-ended question. She doesn't wait for an answer and we quietly continue to walk toward my home.
"Did my Pops call you?"
"You know he did. It's almost midnight and he knows you're soaking wet out here running around like some wild Apache woman."
I giggle at her Apache woman jab. I didn't consider this remark an actual jab as this is what my mother calls me all the time and my mother is APACHE.
"She's on a rampage Char. RAAAMMMMPAGE. Who gives a flip that Mr. Bengolly or whatever his name is, is here? Who cares?"
Charlyne giggled, "It's Benally and don't you know who he is?"
"No I don't know who he is and I don't care. Is he a war hero that deserves recognition? Is he a Native that gives back to the community? Is he…"
"Yes." Charlyne chimed in before I could finish my last complaint.
"What?"
"He is some sort of war hero and he gives back to the Native community. He's been building After-school facilities for different Navajo clans for years."
Sigh. "You are not helping Char. I want to complain about this Bozo until I'm blue in the face."
It took a full 10 seconds for Charlyne to compose herself – her laugh was one from deep inside her chest, the kind that made tears come out and I couldn't help but laugh with her.
"Bozo, Rocky really? Are we in the 1960's now?"
"Argh! Don't you know Char? My mother is forcing us ADULT woman to this gathering."
"Yea, my folks too. Mom really wants me to impress. She took me to this bridal shop to get a cocktail dress, but saw this really beautiful wedding dress and without asking bought it for me to wear. I am soooooo mortified."
I frown at my best friend who's been my BF since elementary. I was a first grader and she was in fourth – and we had one thing in common, we had no friends besides our siblings. Our lonely souls instantly gravitated toward each other.
Sadly, we are no longer children and age/time are not our friends. Char was turning 40 this year – she too is unmarried and childless, and I knew still being single bothered her greatly. Her parents, like my Mother, had found the perfect way to humiliate her when it came to finding a partner and her opinions and feelings meant nothing.
"But you wear dresses all the time Char, should be no big deal."
"WHAT? Rocky, did you even hear me? We are talking about a flipping wedding dress. Does buying a beautiful wedding dress for a one night dinner gathering make sense? How does that make sense? This is sooooo embarrassing. I'm gonna feel like a hanging slab of pork at a chicken butcher shop."
I laughed so hard my head went back to laugh. "What the heck does that even mean Char? Why are you pork and what is a Chicken butcher shop weirdo?"
"I was trying to be funny and off-the-cuff."
"You nailed it my friend."
We hit my marker where she parked her Volvo and Char flashes her light on our sign giggling.
"So Rocky, you're taking me, right?"
I knew why she said this, her father and mother would expect her to ride with them hassling her to flirt with Charles the entire way and then to embarrass Char further, they would ask Charles to take her home. She flashes her light in my direction (not my face) and she knows instantly.
"Rocky Benito, you better go. You're my best friend you have to take me. You can't feed me to the wolves."
I snort and smirk at her. "You'll be fine. You'll look beautiful in your wedding dress…Ouch." Char might be thin and frail-looking but she has a mean punch. I rub my arm, trying to ease the pain. "That hurt you monster."
"Seriously Rocky, if you don't go I will…I'll…punch you in the face." With her light beam aiming at the ground in front of me it made her look like she was glowing in the dark. She waved her small boney fist at me. Serves me right for teaching her how to properly throw a punch.
I grunt a laugh, "Ooooo scary. FINE. You big bully."
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Unfortunately, my mother heard from Suzy Che that Ms. Lucas bought her daughter, Charlyne, a beautiful wedding dress for the soiree and this sent my mom into a two hour argument with my father of how we needed to head over to a bridal shop and get dresses that would "blow Char's dress out the water".
I've actually seen the "wedding" dress in question, and it IS a beautiful dress. It doesn't scream wedding dress, but it's does look like a pageant dress.
So… on the morning of our forced shopping date, I unfortunately had to work overtime and couldn't make the Bridal shop appointment – Bummer, I know.
I text my mother:
RockyRockyPiper - Today 3:42 p.m.
I am unable to attend your Bridal shop appointment. I have mandatory overtime. Please accept my deepest apologies.
Love, Rocky Piper.
Mother Dearest - Today 4:44 p.m.
If you don't show up at our appointment, I'll personally go on Base and drag you out by your hair.
Love, Mother Dearest.
I couldn't help but laugh at that. Cute Mom, real cute. I may not be active in the military anymore, but I AM a contracted government worker which means I make double what I used to make (doing the same work), I still get to work inside base, and bonus I am able to work with my old unit – which means good luck mom getting into base to drag me out. I also work almost 2 hours away from home. I've been commuting back and forth to Yuma since I moved back.
RockyRockyPiper - Today 4:49 p.m.
Why are you so mean Woman? I have to work Mother – it is my duty. I will buy something tomorrow morning before the party.
Thanks for your patience and understanding.
Love, Rocky Piper
One hour, two hours, three hours – no response from my mother. She probably threw a fit and my father is probably hiding from her in his truck.
"Hey…give it back Thompson." Eric Thompson, one of the kids I'm training, steals my phone. Lucky for me, it's on the locked screen.
"Who are you texting BennyBennyBennito? I thought you were single?" He attempts to unlock my phone, then curses and tries again all while singing his BennyBennyBennito song he made up when we were in Iraq. I quickly snatch my phone out his hand.
"None of your business Soldier, get back to work."
