... As I expected, youth is full of nothing but lies.

After losing a baseball tournament during their third year, they shed tears to make themselves seem beautiful. After failing their college entrance exam, they insist that their failure is simply a life experience. After failing to confess to the person they like, they withdraw. They deceive themselves by feigning ignorance, saying that they were thinking about that person's happiness.

And then there's that. Anticipating a romantic comedy with an unsociable, irritating so-called tsundere girl that is never going to happen. My essay does not require any amendments. As I expected; youth is a pretense, a deceptive word, and fraudulent.


I rubbed my eyes and tried to force down despair as my latest light novel manuscript fell from limp fingers, temporarily overwhelmed by a wave of agony at confronting my own dark past. To work is to lose... surely, those were words that I had spoken in earnest, though even then, my actions had betrayed them for the lie they were. Indeed, looking back on our accomplishments, one could say that I was the hardest working member of the service club... What sort of irony was that?!

W-well, we all have our moments of weakness, right? Though perhaps mine lasted longer than it needed to, and only ended through the strength of the people who surrounded me, each offering support that I needed even when it was not wanted. I owed a lot to those people, truly. Yuigahama, Yukinoshita, Isshiki, even that bastard Hayama... And, most of all, my lovely wife, Saki Hikigaya, whose name I could now remember quite easily as it was the same as my own. It was only thanks to them that I could become what I am today, a functioning member of society.

Well, mostly functioning. It was true that my wife worked all day while I stayed home, but writing is real work, with a real paycheck! Even if it wasn't quite what my wife brought home, or not even comparable... A-anyways, at least I properly did the chores around the house, cooking and all. I wasn't some freeloading gigolo who relied on his woman for everything, I was a real, honest-to-god house husband! In our age of equality between the sexes, that was definitely something to be proud of. Probably...

As I leaned back in my chair and took a sip from my mug, I found myself grimacing at the unpleasant taste of black coffee long gone cold. I could really go for a MAX Coffee right now... But, I promised Saki I'd try to cut down on sugar as I wasn't all that active anymore. Getting older came with many problems, and while many of them had temporary solutions, they mostly depended on self-control and deprivation which lead to a gray life, and what was the point since we would all die eventually anyways? Saki hadn't accepted that argument, though, and so I decided to start drinking black coffee. Wait, when I put it like that it's almost like she decided for me...

Memories of Saki bubbled up unbidden, my confession, our first kiss, the wedding (western style, obviously)... We held off on having kids until the Kawasaki siblings grew up; with how motherly Saki was towards them, it was almost like we already had children. Even after we moved into our own apartment those kids had been an almost constant presence. At first the thought of children had been intimidating but now, looking back on the experience of helping to raise Keika and the others, the thought of a few little hachimen running around made me feel almost eager...

Eager for more than one reason, I had to admit. My thoughts drifted back to last night...


Saki's panting breath sounded from beneath me in time with my thrusting, soft moans echoing the movement of my hands on her breasts, her hips, her butt, eyes almost closed as she lost herself in the sensations coursing through her. Her brief glances at my face turned away just as quickly, face flushing bright, unable to meet the intense cast of my already intimidating gaze. This was it, after all, the real deal, we weren't playing house anymore. Just the thought that I was trying to get Saki pregnant filled me close to bursting. I couldn't take my eyes off this once-again shy maiden, my beautiful wife, soon to be the bearer of my child...

I felt myself reaching my peak, knowing now was the time if there ever was one and began putting my plan into motion. I placed my hands beneath her knees and lifted them all the way up to her shoulders as she let out a surprised yelp, "W-wha-?"

Her shocked expression staring up at me in this new position was incredibly arousing, I'd have to remember it for later... I gripped her thighs tightly and redoubled my efforts from above, the low growl emerging from my throat growing into an exclamation, "Get pregnant!"

My seed poured straight into her deepest reaches, where I imagined it would no doubt find purchase in this fertile woman... Finally, after almost ten years, marking Saki as my own in a way that could never be denied. It was more than just the act of procreation; I was claiming her in the most masculine fashion, and I would make sure she knew it.

"Get pregnant! Get pregnant! Get pregnant!"

Saki stared up at me as I gave voice to my innermost desires... and burst out laughing.

"Pfft! Aha! Hahahaha! G-geez, Hachiman!" Her whole body shook with laughter and I felt myself deflating a little from the sting of it.

"W-what...?" I asked, not in the slightest bit defensively.

"'G-get pregnant'," she repeated into cupped hands she had tried to stifle her laughter with, breaking into another fit of giggles. It wasn't that funny... Well, okay, maybe it was. The absurdity of the situation finally got to me and I couldn't keep myself from laughing along with her.

For a long moment we laughed even as we remained connected, humor overpowering our desire for the time being. As our laughter died down she reached up to wrap her arms around my neck, staring deep into my eyes as she promised, "... I'll do my best to get pregnant, okay?"

As I took in her smile of unbridled joy, the glittering of her eyes, the heavy flush coloring her pale cheeks, even the tracks of sweat on her forehead, I felt an indescribably powerful emotion rising up within me. It wasn't quite the doujin-like development I was going for, but I loved this woman so damn much...

"I'll hold you to it, then," I murmured as I drew her into a kiss, scalp tingling as our tongues met, the gentle rocking of our hips coaxing a breathy mmf out of the slender woman beneath me. She wrapped her long legs around me tightly, back arching to press her whole body against mine, forgoing any gap that might have separated us-


The voice of an angel forcibly pulled me from my reverie, and I reflexively spun my chair around to face the open door to my makeshift study. In the entryway to the apartment, just starting to take off her shoes, Keika Kawasaki beamed a wide smile right at me.

"Saa-chan! Ha-chan! I'm hooome!"