Chapter 18: Spooky scary s̶k̶e̶l̶e̶t̶o̶n̶s̶ zombies

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AN: Hello, and welcome to season 2!

We indeed are doing ominous endings now isaacstormblood1. And if you think that was good, just wait till we get to some of the points I've plotted out.

I made some fanart, but I really don't know if I should show it, because I accidently made it cursed. Like, really cursed. Not the art part, but what it implies is really bad. If you can ignore that, it's pretty good for the first piece of art in years and my first drawing of Bill Cipher. I might post it in the discord if there are enough requests.

I just finished my ninth complete watch of Gravity Falls, and have started the tenth. I don't have a problem, you have a problem. What's a problem?!

Discord: /eSSP2GtYQS

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The day following Gideon's defeat was a time of rebuilding. The wreckage of the Gideon bot was dragged away to the dump, the Mystery Shack was repaired and large amounts of Gideon merchandise was thrown away. Gideon Gleeful had been thrown into actual, adult prison by special order of Mayor Befufftlefumpter.

As he took custody of Gideon, Warden Noah Scape gave Gideon a stern lecture, finishing with, "It's a beautiful day outside. Birds are singing, flowers are blooming, and on days like these, kids like you should be rotting in jail."

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Phil and Techno spent the day dismantling the Nether portal before moving it to a more secure location. Neither of them knew what had caused the Nether portal to puke nightmares like that, but they had decided to excavate a bunker underneath the house for containment purposes. Using iron, obsidian, and reinforced stone, the duo created a vault in which to keep the portal secure. Using a few of the old Gideon pins they had scavenged, Phil and Techno set up an observation system for the interior of their bunker, hard wired to a couple of screens they had also liberated from the dump.

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The mystery shack was repaired and opened with a grand reopening planned for the next day. After the shack closed down and the rest of the family had gone to bed, Stanford Pines, the owner and proprietor of the Mystery Shack, was in the hidden basement.

Stan was repairing a strange machine using all three of the journals, running it through its preliminary activation phase. The machine began to shake the earth and send a light blue light seeping through the cracks of the shack.

Stan walked up to the inverted triangle with a smile on his face, his fez and underwear blown about by the energy, and white tank top solid on his chest. "Thirty long years and it's all led up to this. My greatest achievement!" Stan said, putting his arms out to the side to encompass his success's size before pausing and looking down at his clothes. "Probably should've worn pants."

The machine glowed a brighter blue temporarily, shooting out electric blue bolts of energy, one of which hit Stan. Stan caught on fire where he had been hit, but patted the fire out before smiling. "Feisty. I like it."

Stan walked out of the machine room and into the control room, consulting a diagram made by combining diagrams from each of the journals before flipping a few switches. The machine began to work through strange symbols and calculations, reflecting code onto Stan's face. "If I finally pull this off, it'll all have been worth it." Another device activated, printing of sheets of numbers under a progress tracker that showed 0.0000000001% complete.

"I just need to keep playing it cool; if anyone ever finds out about this..." Stan said, trailing off before looking at the framed picture of his niece and nephew. "Heh, yeah, right. I've come this far. Who could possibly catch me now?" Stan asked rhetorically as he pulled on a six fingered-glove. After putting on the glove, Stan pulled a switch labeled max power, sending bright blue light across the town.

Wendy Corduroy shifted in her sleep, subconsciously avoiding the bright blue light.

Gideon Gleeful's right eye shot open, initially thinking it was Cipher before realizing he was alone in his cell.

Techno was mining and didn't notice the blue flickering behind him.

Philza was sleeping like the old man he was, wrapping his wings around himself as blankets while Ghostbur and Friend hugged on top of him.

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At a government surveillance building located deep in the desert in Redacted, Redacted County, Redacted, Agents Trigger and Powers were looking at an information display.

"See there! There it is again!" Triggers said, pointing to the graph.

"We haven't seen readings like this for thirty years." Powers said gravelly.

"Is it coming from deep space? An enemy weapon site?" Trigger asked as the screen zoomed in on the source of the readings.

"Just as I suspected. Gentlemen! We're going to Gravity Falls." Powers said, turning away from the screen and issuing orders to the other agents in the building.

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Stan shot awake, looking blearily around before realizing he had fallen asleep in his chair in the secret basement and his alarm was going off. "Oh right. Showtime."

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The Shack was celebrating its grand reopening, with Stan, Dipper, and Mabel standing on the checkout counter in front of a crowd of townsfolk and tourists. "Welcome, to the grand re-opening of the Mystery Shack!" Stan declared, causing the crowd to cheer. "We're here to celebrate the defeat of that skunk Li'l Gideon!" Stan continued, pulling out a Gideon plush from below the counter. The crowd boo'd, but Stan calmed them down. "Please, Please… Boo harder!" The crowd boo'd again, but with more gusto.

"But I didn't catch that pork chop all alone. These two scamps deserve SOME of the glory" Stan said, wrapping his arms around the twins, playfully rubbing Dippers head. Mabel elbowed Stan in the gut. "Ugh, okay, okay. Most of the glory."

Toby Determined, publisher of the local tabloid, held up his camera. "Smile for the camera!"

"Your camera's a cinder block, Toby." Stan deadpanned, looking at the cinder block painted to look vaguely like a camera.

"I just wanna be a part of things..."

"Smile for a REAL camera." Shandra Jimenez, news anchor for the local news network, said pushing past Toby.

"Everyone say 'Something stupid!'" Mabel said. Mabel poked her cheeks, Stan did jazz hands, and Dipper pretended to be chocking as they said, ""Something stupid!""

"And don't forget to come to the after-party tonight at eight." Stan said, pulling out a poster for the after party.

"We're doing a karaoke bonanza, people!" Mabel yelled, lifting the karaoke machine up to the counter next to her. "Light! Music! Enchantment!" Mabel yelled, blowing confetti from her hand. "And an amazing karaoke performance by our family band, Love Patrol Alpha!" Mabel declared proudly, pulling a hand drawn picture from her pocket.

"I don't know about that." Dipper protested, rubbing his arm.

"I would never agree to that ever." Stan said.

"Too late! I wrote your names on the list! It's happening!" Mabel told them.

Wendy barged through the front door, blowing an airhorn. "Buy a ticket, people! You know you don't have anything else going on in your lives! I'm talking to you, Pizza Guy! Don't lame out on me!" The crowd followed her outside to purchase a ticket, leaving Dipper, Mabel, and Stan alone in the shack.

Stan sighed contentedly. "The town loves us, we finally got that Gideon smell out of the carpet. Everything is finally going my way."

"Hey, Grunkle Stan. Now that we have a moment, I've been meaning to ask you for my journal back." Dipper said.

"Wha? Journal?" Stan asked confused before reaching underneath the counter. "Oh! You mean this old thing! It was so boring I couldn't even finish it." Stan explained, handing Dipper the journal.

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Late last night, Waddles walked into the copier room where Stan was copying the entirety of journal 3. Waddles squealed and Stan turned to him. "You didn't see nothing!" Stan said, pointing at the pig.

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Back in the present, Dipper had grabbed the journal. "Wait, you're just gonna give it to me? Just like that?" He asked in astonishment.

"What else do you want? A kiss on the cheek?" Stan asked sarcastically.

"I... I gotta go!" Dipper said, running off to the attic and dragging Mabel with him.

Soos walked up beside Stan. "I wouldn't mind a kiss on the cheek."

Stan didn't even turn to look at Soos. "Not gonna happen."

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Dipper locked the attic door behind him, pulled a cloth over the window, and turned all of Mabel's stuffed animals to face the wall. Dipper turned on an electric lamp, illuminating the previously near pitch black room, and turned to Mabel.

"Mabel, we've gotta talk. Almost losing my journal made me realize that I'm halfway through the summer, and still no closer to figuring out the big mysteries of Gravity Falls. Gideon almost destroyed the town to get his hands on this journal. But why?" Dipper asked, holding the journal. "Who wrote it? Where are all the other journals? What was Bill talking about when he said "everything was going to change"? There's something HUGE going on right under our noses. And it's time we stop goofing around and get to the bottom of it." Dipper said, pacing back and forth before coming to a dead stop.

"Bro, you've looked at that thing like, a bazillion times. There's nothing left to discover! Half the pages are blank, remember?" Mabel reminded Dipper.

"I just feel like I'm one puzzle piece away from figuring out everything." Dipper said, flipping through the pages.

"Don't worry, Dipper!" Mabel reassured, holding up her pig. "Lord Mystery Ham is on the case!" Mabel then put on a British accent and pretending to be Waddles. "I play by me own rules! Wot Wot?"

"I don't know why I tell you things…" Dipper trailed off. "Do you hear that?"

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Soos was sweeping the gift shop when he noticed a car pull up outside. "Hey, Mr. Pines, what's that code word I'm supposed to yell when I see a government vehicle?"

"Wait, what?" Stan asked, practically flying across the room to look out the same window as Soos. "Government vehicle?" Stan asked in shock as he saw a 1987-1990 Durant Vagrant Brougham with USEXEMPT plates, US Government painted onto the sides, and a bumper sticker telling fellow motorists to honk if they want to get arrested. Fear painted Stan's face as he slammed the windows closed and ran over to the intercom system. "The Mystery Shack is now closed, everybody out! I will not hesitate to use the hose on the elderly!"

Dipper and Mabel ran up to their great uncle. "Grunkle Stan, what's happening?" Mabel asked in shock.

"Yeah, you never shut down the gift shop." Dipper added concerned. Stan paced back and forth nervously before a knocking was heard from the front door. Stan opened the front door with a fake smile.

"Welcome to the Mystery Shack, gentlemen! What can I get you? Key chains? Snow globes?" Stan offered before slipping money out of his sleeves. "These rare photos of American presidents?" Stan asked, starting to sweat.

The agents held out their wallets, showing their I.D.'s. "My name is Agent Powers. This is Agent Trigger. We're here to investigate reports of mysterious activity in this town."

"Activity!" Trigger added, pointing suspiciously at Stan.

"Mysterious activity? In the Mystery Shack? You gotta be joking!" Stan deflected.

"I assure you I am not. I was born with a rare disorder that made me physically incapable of experiencing humor." Powers deadpanned. Stan laughed awkwardly at what he assumed was a government agent joke. "I don't understand that sound you're making with your mouth. Now if you'll excuse us, we're conducting an investigation." Powers said, as he and Trigger walked into the shack. As he passed Stan, Trigger pointed at Stan menacingly (Ayayayayay). "Investigation!"

Dipper ran up to the agents exclaiming, "Wait! Wait, did you guys say you're investigating the mysteries of this town?"

"That information is classified." Powers said, kneeling down to Dipper's height. "But yes. Look, between you and me, I believe there is a conspiracy of paranormal origin all connected to this town. We're just one small lead away from blowing the lid off this entire mystery."

"Are you kidding me? I'm investigating the exact same thing! I found this journal in the woods which has almost all the answers. If we work together, we could crack the case!" Dipper exclaimed, starting to sweat.

Powers shot Trigger a look before handing Dipper his card. "If you have evidence of these claims, we should talk."

"We could talk right now! Please, please c-come in! I have so much to show you!" Dipper said before Stan interfered, blocking the agents path.

"Ha ha ha, I'm sorry, agents. Kid has an overactive imagination. And like, a sweating problem." Stan said, trying to keep the agents away from Dipper.

"Haha! Zing!" Mabel laughed from the other side of the gift shop.

"Paranormal town stuff is just part of gift shop lore. Sells more tickets, you know?" Stan explained before snapping his fingers.

"boopadoopaboop, Swag!" Soos said as he gave the agents free merchandise.

"We have other spots to investigate. We'll be on our way." Powers said.

Trigger grabbed ten Stan bobble-heads. "I'm confiscating this for evidence."

"Smart move." Powers said as he and trigger walked back to their car.

"Wait! No, wait! We have so much to talk about!" Dipper yelled, running after them as they drove off.

Stan grabbed Dipper's shoulder. "Hold it kiddo. Trust me; the last thing you want around during a party is cops. I'm confiscating that card." He said as he grabbed the card from Dipper. "Now how's about you go be a normal kid? Flirt with a girl, or steal a pie off a window sill." Stan said, putting the card into a contraband box, pointedly ignoring Dipper's glare.

"But Grunkle Stan! You don't understand!" Dipper protested in vain.

"And don't go talking to those agents." Stan ordered, walking out of the gift shop and into the living room.

"Ugh. That could've been my big break!" Dipper sighed to himself before Mabel grabbed the journal.

"Bro, maybe Grunkle Stan is right. We're throwing a party tonight! Can't you go one night without searching for aliens or raising the dead or whatever?" Mabel said, consoling Dipper.

"I'm not gonna raise the dead. I just need a chance to show those agents my book!"

"Trust me Dipper, the only book you'll need tonight is right here: Boop!" Mabel said, pulling a karaoke book from behind her back and holding it out. Dipper took Mabel's offer and began looking through the karaoke book. "Alright bro-bro, I'm gonna go finish up a letter or two." Mabel said as she also headed back into the living room.

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'Alright Mabel, time to write Techno a letter! I have to thank Phil for his help with Gideon, and invite him, Techno, and Ghostbur to the party tonight!' Mabel thought to herself before putting her pink pen with a flower decoration on top to paper.

Dear Phil and Techno and Ghostbur,

Hi! It's me, Mabel! I wanted to thank you for saving my brother's life two days ago, and invite you to the grand reopening party of the Mystery Shack, there'll be karaoke! I'm handing this to the first crow I see, because I was told the crows will deliver your mail. It's so cool you can talk to birds, do you think I could talk to birds? And/or animals?! I await your response eagerly!

PS: Some government guys were poking around the shack earlier, Techno could you tell Dipper not to mess with the government tonight? I don't want him summoning zombies or anything, and he respects you.

'Yeah, that'll work, Mabel! I'm such a good writer, I wonder if I should become an author.' Mabel thought to herself before running off to find a crow.

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"Hey, Techno!" Phil called from where he was fishing by the gate to Techno who was relaxing on the porch, drifting in and out of sleep.

"Hmm?" Techno responded.

"We got an invitation to a karaoke night at the Mystery Shack, you wanna go?" Phil asked reading Mabel's letter.

"Meh, I don't know…"

"It sounds like feds are poking around, and Dipper is trying to get in contact with them."

"Nevermind, let's go." Techno said, shooting to his feet.

"Party doesn't start until eight at night, we still have time." Phil said, reading off of the poster Mabel had included. "Think we should RSVP?"

"Yes. We gotta tell the kid not to trust spooks."

Carpediem: Technoprotect

Bananamilkshake: Tommy 2: swearless boogaloo

"Bruh. I've already said that's not what's goin' on." Techno protested.

Technofan12321: Riiiiiiight

Average_techno_fan: Cap

Yodasstick: hella cap, that is.

Laughteryoga: we all know you love him

"Phil, they're bullying me, make them stop!" Techno cried dramatically to Phil. Phil started laughing and Techno looked betrayed.

"Alright chat, chill. We all know Techno is a tsundere." Phil said, acting like he was calming the voices. Techno was nodding before realizing what Phil said.

"Wait, Philza, NOOOOOOOO! My clout, they can't know I have feelings!" Phil laughed at his friends panic.

Bananamilkshake: We know you have feelings Techno, it is good for you.

Average_techno_fan: We're behind you forever

Istanheysoos: Yeah dude, I may be new but I'll support you with emotions!

"Thanks, nerds."

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Mabel was doing some last minute preparations for the party inside the attic when she heard something tapping on the window. She turned to see what it was and saw a raven pecking at the window with a piece of paper clutched in its claws. Mabel opened the window and the bird dropped the letter directly into Mabel's outstretched hand.

Mabel read the first sentence before screaming. "DIPPER! Get up here!" The crow saw his mission had been completed and left to go find some worms.

A thunderous pounding could be heard racing through the shack until Dipper threw open the door, out of breath and panting, looking around frantically for what could have caused Mabel to yell like that. "Mabel! What is it?!"

"I got a letter back from Techno! Come read it with me." Mabel said, patting the open bed beside her.

Dipper stared blankly at Mabel for a few seconds before speaking. "Mabel, you yelled like that for a letter? I thought you were getting kidnapped by the Gnomes again or something."

"Nope! Come read the letter with me!" Mabel said excitedly. Dipper sighed and sat down beside her, ready to read the letter.

Hello Mabel, I am Philza.

It was no problem to save your brother's life. I am a firm believer that all life is sacred and should only be taken in the most dire of situations, mostly because I don't want to cause to much work for my wife, but my son has also taken a liking to young Dipper.

Scott CAWthon delivered your letter immediately, and CROWnan the Birdbarian volunteered to carry the return letter. From now on, If you need any of us, just tell a crow or raven and they'll come get one of us. I might be able to teach you how to speak to crows, I'll see when we arrive tonight for the party. Techno and I will be performing a song tonight, put us under S.B.I..

Dipper, Techno wants you to know that government agents are very rarely trustworthy, and you should not give them any information or else they might call in the government to capture every non-human in Gravity Falls.

PS: Techno doesn't blame you for trying to get close to the government, you're young and innocent.

"Ooh, I wonder what song they'll sing?" Mabel asked herself. "I bet I can figure it out. Freely plummeting? Probably not. Nitroglycerin compound? Nah. Mors et omnes amici eius? Maybe." Mabel continued to try and figure out what song SBI would perform when she saw her brother looking paler than usual. "Dipper are you alright?"

"I can't believe it." Dipper gasped faintly.

"What did you say?" Mabel asked, concerned.

"I almost got every supernatural thing shipped off to a government facility. Gah, how could I have been so stupid? We already know what the government does to those it doesn't like. If it weren't for Trembley, we'd be locked up in Washington right now, and I almost subjected all the cool things in Gravity Falls to the same fate!" Dipper cried, beating himself up.

"Ah, don't worry about it Bro-bro, you're still young and stupid! No harm no foul, right?" Mabel said, trying to cheer her twin up.

Dipper shook his head. "No, Mabel. I'm supposed to be the smart one, and I almost made a horrible mistake."

"At least you didn't, right?" Mabel encouraged. "Come on, let's enjoy the party."

"I don't know if I can, what if those agents want to see my journal or come looking around here again, they could find something and it'd be all over! We wouldn't be able to come up next summer, Stan would get arrested probably, and the entire population would possibly get experimented on so nobody could learn where the supernatural came from." Dipper continued, starting to panic.

Mabel wrapped Dipper in a hug. "Breath, in 2 3 4, out 2 3 4. In 2 3 4, out 2 3 4" Mabel ordered, and Dipper began to calm down. "It's okay, all we have to do is convince those agents the journal is fake, right?"

"Yeah…"

"Okay. Well then, it's a good thing we're related to the world's greatest con artist! After all, how many times has Grunkle Stan tricked the cops? It can't be that hard."

"Yeah. Yeah! Alright Mabel, let's do it! When should we do it, though?" Dipper said, leaving Mabel's embrace and beginning to pace.

"The earlier the better, right? Let's do it tonight!"

"Okay. Do you think we should get Grunkle Stan's help?"

"He would love to pull a fast one on the feds, and could probably add even more realistic-ness to you just being crazy, but you know how he gets with the supernatural. Plus he'll probably just think that it's a trick to get the agents card."

"True. We'll do this alone. Mystery Twins?" Dipper asked, offering his fist to Mabel.

"Mystery Twins." Mabel confirmed, bumping Dippers fist.

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Stan was walking around the shack before the party started, inspecting the preparations when he had to dodge a blast of air and colorful paper.

"Well, the confetti cannon works!" Mabel said before looking at the karaoke machine and gasping at the selection. "And the karaoke machine has all the best songs! 'We Built This Township on Rock and Roll,' 'Danger Lane to Highway Town,' 'Taking Over Midnight' by &ndra!" Mabel exclaimed, grabbing the mic from Waddles.

"Listen kid, you do not want to hear this voice singing. Trust me." Stan said, trying to caution Mabel away from making her ears bleed.

"Grunkle Stan, karaoke isn't about sounding good, it's about sounding terrible, TOGETHER." Mabel explained, putting on a pair of doe eyes at the end.

Wendy and Dipper were putting up black light posters on one of the shack's exterior walls.

Wendy laughed. "Check it out! These black lights make my teeth look scary." Wendy said, turning on a black light. "It's like a crime scene in my mouth!"

Dipper laughed before somewhat awkwardly opening his mouth. "Hey Wendy, would you happen to know where Stan keeps his contraband box?"

"Dude, I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but I'm pretty sure Stan hides, like, everything in his room." Wendy said in aside to Dipper, leaning down next to him.

"But if I get caught in Stan's room I could get into so much trouble." Dipper groaned.

"Yeah, you're probably right. That's what makes it fun, dummy!" Wendy said, popping a party hat on Dipper's head.

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As the partygoers began to arrive, Stan sat talking their money. A majority of the townsfolk showed up, from "Manly" Dan to Lazy Susan, with the exception of the feds.

"The whole town is showing up! And no sign of those pesky agents. Wendy, Dipper. How are those posters coming along?" Stan said as he looked to where Dipper and Wendy were supposed to be, frowning suspiciously when he saw they weren't there.

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Dipper and Wendy walked up to Stan's room. Stan's door had various signs nailed into it, all communicating the same idea of small children, especially Dipper, not being welcome inside.

"I'll keep an eye out for Stan. You go rustle through his weird old man biz." Wendy told Dipper as he opened the door to Stan's room.

"Alright, Grunkle Stan. Where did you hide that card?" Dipper asked as he began to search. He opened a drawer with Gold Chains for Old Men magazines in it. "Nothing." Dipper moved over to search the closet. "Nothing." Dipper opened a drawer with Stan's wrestling supplies. "Nothing." Dipper then opened up Stan's trunk, filled with copies of Fully Clothed Woman magazine and Lady Swimwear magazine. "Ew! Pretending I never saw that." Dipper finally ended up in front of a portrait of Stan that seemed crooked. "Wait a minute..." Dipper said, moving the portrait over, finding the box of contraband. "Haha, yes! I got it!" Dipper reached for the phone in Stan's room, before thinking better of it and leaving Stan's room after returning everything except the card to its proper place.

"Did ya get what you wanted, dude?" Wendy asked as he walked past her. Dipper smiled and flashed the card. "Nice, man." Wendy complimented as she and Dipper walked away from Stan's room before receiving a text. "Hmm? Oh it's Tambry… Hah! Hey Dipper, look at what Thompson is doing!" Wendy said laughing as she showed Dipper a picture of Thompson without his shirt on and looking drunk. Dipper laughed at the picture when he heard Stan coming.

"Crap, Stan! Into the kitchen!" Dipper whisper-shouted as he pulled Wendy into the kitchen right before Stan turned the corner on his way to look for Dipper and Wendy. Stan walked up to his room, somewhat surprised when he opened the door and didn't see either Dipper or Wendy. Stan walked back outside, catching sight of the missing employees as they left the kitchen with a red Duo cup full of Pitt soda each.

"What are you two doin' inside? You've got posters to put up." Stan said, making both of them jump.

"Uh, uh, I needed a new soda!" Dipper said, panicking.

"Right. And you didn't take one of the ones outside?" Stan asked, not buying Dipper's excuse.

Wendy stepped in before Stan could figure out the real reason. "Mabel told us to add a little Mabel Juice on top of the pop, y'know, a bit of liquid courage for Dipper."

"Eh, fair enough. You two get back to work." Stan said, brushing past the two conspirators. Once he was out of their sight, Stan slipped behind the vending machine in the gift shop, heading downstairs to work on whatever it was that was down there.

"I'm gonna finish putting up those posters, you call your girlfriend or whatever." Wendy said as she went back outside.

"It's not my girlfrie!... and she's already gone." Dipper sighed before he doubled back to the phone in the kitchen and punched in the Agents number.

The phone picked up. "Agent Powers." Powers said, identifying himself.

"Hi, this is Dipper. Th-The kid from the Mystery Shack. The one with the, um, 'sweating problem.' I have that journal I wanted to show you!"

"And you're certain this "journal" will help our case?" Powers asked.

"I'm a hundred percent positive." Dipper confirmed.

"Very well. We're on our way." Powers said, hanging up. Dipper stood still for a few seconds before walking out to Mabel. He gave her the signal, and she nodded. While Dipper was out throwing the agents off the case, Mabel would distract Stan and keep him from finding out what Dipper was doing.

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The government car pulled onto the Mystery Shack's driveway, slowing to a stop at the point Dipper suggested to meet.

"Hey Powers?" Triggers asked.

"Yes Trigger?"

"I know we're the good guys, but isn't it kind of sketchy two grown men are meeting a kid in the woods?"

"Hmm, a little. Don't worry though, we're just here for information."

"Guys, I'm so glad to see you. Working together, we can crack all the big questions of Gravity Falls!" Dipper exclaimed, pretending to be enthusiastic to see the agents, while the agents looked at each other through the corner of their eyes. "Trust me, this book is the lead you've been looking for. I even bookmarked some of the more important things!" Dipper said, handing the journal to the agents who began to flip from bookmark to bookmark.

Dipper had bookmarked the more ridiculous pages, like the Beard Cubs, Leprecorn, and Plaidypus. Dipper continued on, pretending not to see the incredulous glances of the agents. "I'm thinking full scale investigation. Forensics, researchers. Do you guys have a helicopter? I'm sorry, 'helicopters.'"

"Kid, I'd love to believe you, but this just looks like more junk from your uncle's gift shop." Powers said, pointing to the page. "I mean, Leprecorn? I can't be the only one that thinks that it's not funny."

"I can confirm. Not funny." Trigger agreed, nodding.

"No, no, no! It's real, I swear! You should 'send it to the lab.' Am I saying that right?" Dipper said, pretending to panic.

"Your uncle was right about that overactive imagination. We've got paperwork to do, kid." Powers said.

"Boring. Boring paperwork." Trigger added.

"Really, what kind of spell is Corpus Levitas Diablo Dominus Mondo Vicium, anyways?" Powers asked. Dipper had a sinking feeling in his chest as he realized the agent had read the spell on one of the pages he hadn't bookmarked. The earth began to shake, knocking the journal from Powers hands. Dipper took his chance to grab the journal before it hit the ground.

Both agents screamed as a series of cracks began to open in the ground, glowing a sickly green and bellowing lime smoke.

"Mother of all that is holy!" Powers yelled.

"What do we do?" Trigger asked.

Out from the cracks zombies started to climb, pulling themselves over each other in a mad rush to consume human flesh.

"The only thing we can do. Trigger, take the kid and run." Powers said, pulling out a Colt 9mm and stepping in front of the other two.

"But Powers, I-"

"Get the kid to safety, rookie."

"We've been partners for ten years!"

"And I'm older than you are. Let me protect the next generation, Trigger. Get the kid to safety."

"I… fine. You'll owe me a drink after this."

"Add it to my tab." Powers said with a wry smirk. Dipper was pulled by Trigger away from the danger, with Dipper's last glimpse of Powers being when he opened fire on the encroaching horde.

Trigger, barely choking back tears, pulled Dipper with him to safety. Once they made it to a relatively safe area, Trigger pulled Dipper around in front of him. "That book of yours say anything about how to defeat the undead?"

"N-no." Dipper stammered out.

"Damn. Guess we'll just have to use the old fashioned w- Look out!" Trigger yelled, shoving Dipper out of the way of a leaping zombie, being grabbed in the process and being dragged in between the trees.

"No!" Dipper yelled, before turning and running to the shack.

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Philza and Techno were walking to the Mystery Shack, peacefully talking about nothing as all good friends can do, when they felt the earth shake.

"What the…" Techno trailed off, looking at the bank of green fog covering the ground.

"That does not look good." Phil agreed.

"What do you think it was?"

"I don't know, it migh-" Phil was interrupted by something coming flying out of the trees. The object was small, green, and fast. Phil only had a few milliseconds to recognize what it was, and only a few more before it was on top of him.

At least, that's how it would have gone if Techno hadn't been there. Techno immediately identified the thing, it was a baby zombie. Techno did the only logical thing. "PHILZA! WATCH OUT!" Techno screamed, pushing Phil out of the way and punting the child like Techno was going for a field goal.

After watching the zombie achieve flight, Techno rushed over to Phil. "Oh my gosh, are you ok Phil, talk to me! No, we lost Phil to the baby zombie again! Philzaaaaaa!"

"Relax ya little shit, I'm here and perfectly fine." Phil said, trying to be serious but breaking down into laughter.
"But Phil!" Techno said, mirth in his eyes as well, "We all know how the last duel went! I don't want a repeat of that!"

"Techno, we both know that's not how it happened."

"Yeah. Well, I guess I missed a cave, I'll go start cleaning it up."

"I'll come with. The party'll probably be closed anyways." Phil said, walking next to Techno, following the path that the baby zombie had left.

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When Dipper arrived at the shack, it was mostly abandoned. The partygoers had run into town when the earthquake started, so only Mabel and Soos were still there. Dipper had ran back, but the zombies were following him.

"Dipper, what happened?!" Mabel asked.

"Agents summoned zombies on accident!" Dipper yelled.

Zombies began leaving the trees all around the shack. Soos stepped between them and the Pines Twins. "Get back, dudes. This is about to get intense." The zombies knocked over a table, spilling the punch bowl and forcing the humans to take a few steps back. Soos and the twins screamed before Soos apologized. "Sorry, one second." Soos said obliviously, not realizing he had ended up behind the twins. Soos pulled his phone out of his pocket and snapping a few pictures. "You got to admit this is pretty cool."

"ZOMBIES!" Dipper yelled.

"Don't panic. Maybe they're just a really ugly flash mob?!" Mabel offered. To prove her wrong, a zombie swiped at the twins, barely missing, and the twins ran screaming behind Soos.

"Dudes, stay calm. I've been training for this moment my whole life. With all the horror movies I've seen, I know literally everything there is to know about how to avoid zombies." Soos declared confidently, right before a zombie bit his shoulder, infecting Soos. "Second thought, gonna flip the script. Can I, eat your brains? Yay or Nay? Seeing some Yay faces over here."

Dipper and Mabel screamed and ran away, Dipper clutching a shovel and Mabel bringing the karaoke with, Dipper cutting down a zombie who got in the way. Waddles also followed them, squeaking in panic.

"Why are you bring that, Mabel?!" Dipper asked, gesturing to the karaoke machine while they ran.

"It's a rental, I don't want to lose my security deposit!" Mabel responded.

"Quick! The golf cart!" Dipper yelled right as a new group of zombies exited the woods, flipping the golf cart onto its side. "Aw, come on!"

"Hoo, that's a bummer. Good news for me though, ha ha." Zombie Soos, (Zoos?), laughed.

"Soos!" Dipper yelled, irate.

"Sorry, dude, I just really want those brains." Soos said, walking towards the twins from the middle of the horde.

"Stay back!" Dipper ordered, picking up a disco ball and sending it flying with his shovel. The disco ball landed inside one of the zombies mouth's, falling into the undead's chest and sending multicolored lights beams from its chest.

"Give it up, dudes! Your fighting only makes us look more rad!" Soos said.

"What do we do? Where's Grunkle Stan?" Mabel asked, starting to panic.

"How's he supposed to help? He doesn't even believe in the supernatural!" Dipper replied.

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Stan was down in the secret basement repairing the machine. "Those agents could ruin everything. Darn kid! He has no idea what he's messing with. He's stubborn, that's his problem. Sorta like me, I suppose. Ugh, I got too much on my mind to worry about those kids right now. All right, let's see..." Stan said as the machine shot out lasers accompanied by an electric buzzing sound. Stan was so busy working on the machine to notice his niece and nephew running away from zombies on the security cameras.

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The twins continued running around the outside of the shack before a zombie popped up in front of them. Dipper stabbed through the zombie in front, incapacitating it, put getting his shovel stuck in the process.

"My shovel! Give it back you undead!" Dipper yelled, tugging on the shovel's handle in vain.

"Dipper!" Mabel shouted as a pair of zombies walked up behind her brother. Mabel swung her karaoke machine, knocking of both zed's heads. "Take that, sucka!" Mabel yelled before putting the karaoke machine back on the ground. "This thing's a surprisingly good weapon." The twins screamed as more zombies approached, and they ran into the shack.

"Quick! We need to board up all the windows!" Dipper said, slamming the door behind him. They both started moving random crap in front of the door. The top of the door began to give way a small amount, and Dipper took a step back to admire his and Mabel's handiwork. "Okay, maybe that'll hold 'em."

A window next to the twins smashed open. "Hey dudes! By the way, I taught the zombies how to get to the fuse box. Among these dudes, I'm like a genius, haha!" Soos said, leaning through the broken window. The power inside the shack cut out, leaving the world to be bathed in an eerie red glow. "Get those brains, dawg!" Soos encouraged as zombies began climbing through the broken window.

Dipper ran towards another door as a zombie punches a fist through the door, grasping for the door knob. Dipper screamed and headed back to Mabel.

"Dipper, isn't there something in the journal about defeating zombies?!" Mabel asked, fear evident in her voice.

"NO! THERE'S NOTHING IN HERE ABOUT WEAKNESSES!" Dipper screamed. "This can't be happening. I wanted answers so bad I put everyone in danger. Now we're toast, it's all my fault, and no one can save us!" Dipper moaned before putting on a serious face. "There's only one thing left to do: fight to the end!" Dipper declared. "You want to eat my sister? You're gonna have to get through me, first!"

Dipper leapt into the horde, punching and kicking like a veritable whirlwind. Unfortunately, Dipper didn't have any weapons and was therefore only temporarily able to incapacitate the zombies. Eventually, one got through Dipper's defense and was about to eat Mabel.

"Ah, NO! MABEL, I'M SORRY!" Dipper screamed.

"DIPPER!" Mabel screamed, squeezing her eyes closed. The zombie was about to chomp down on some delicious human (which, according to what I've seen, tastes like pork.) when it got smashed in the head with a baseball bat. The zombie dropped Mabel and stumbled to the ground.

"YOU TWO! ATTIC! NOW!" Stan ordered.

"Grunkle- Grunkle Stan?!" Dipper asked in shock.

"I said NOW!" Stan yelled. The twins ran upstairs while Stan held the door way. "All right, you undead jerks, YOU READY TO DIE TWICE?!" Stan yelled, swing his bat back and forth, felling the undead with each swing. "The only wrinkly monster who harasses my family is me! Take that! And that! Eat it, no eyes!" Stan continued to swing until the bat shattered. A zombie attempted to take advantage of Stan's lack of weapon, but Stan punched the zed with his brass-knuckles. "ANYONE ELSE WANNA PIECE?!"

Dipper and Mabel ran inside their room, closing the door behind them. The movement the door closed, something began pounding on it from outside. Dipper and Mabel stared at the door in terror before it finally gave out and Stan stumbled through. "Oh! Ow. Everything hurts." Stan groaned as he turned around and barricaded the door with a chair.

"Grunkle Stan, that was amazing. Are you alright?" Dipper asked concerned as he walked up to Stan. "Heh heh, well, at least you can't deny magic exists anymore, right?" Dipper asked awkwardly.

Stan stayed quiet for a second. "Kid, I've always known."

"Wait, what are you talking about?" Dipper asked, confused.

"I'm not an idiot, Dipper! Of course this town is weird! And the one thing I know about that weirdness is that it's dangerous!" Stan said, his point added to by the zombie arm bursting through the door. "I've been lying about it to try to keep you away from it. To try to protect you from it!" Stan explained as he and the twins backed away from the door. A zombie broke through the window and Stan punched it out of the window. "It looks like I didn't lie well enough." Stan said, looking out the window at the horde of zombies climbing up the exterior of the shack.

"What do we do, what do we do?" Mabel panicked.

Dipper paced back and forth. "Well, normally the journal would help us, but there's nothing in there about defeating zombies!" He said, holding out the journal for the other two to see, illuminated by the light from the black light. "It's hopeless!"

"Wait, wait, wait! The text! It's glowing in the black light!" Mabel said, pointing to the new words.

"What?" Dipper asked, setting down the journal and flipping through it, reading the new sentances written in invisible ink. "All this time I thought I knew all the journal's secrets, but they're written in some kind of invisible ink!"

"Invisible ink?" Stan asked, shocked.

"This is it!" Dipper exclaimed, having found what he was looking for. "' Zombies have a weakness! Previously thought to be invincible, their skulls can be shattered by a perfect three part harmony.' Three part harmony, how can we create that? I have a naturally high-pitched scream." Dipper said.

"I can make noises with my body. Sometimes intentionally." Stan said, incredibly proud of the second sentence.

"Boys, boys. I think you're both missing the obvious solution." Mabel said, gesturing for the pines men to follow her. Stan and Dipper shrugged at each other before obeying Mabel's request.

.

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Outside the shack, the zombies were milling about aimlessly when they heard a mic turn on and somebody speak into it. "Hello, Hello? Is this thing on?" The zombies began to head towards the source of the noise from all over the shack, with the exception of Soos, who was distracted by Gossiping Housewives.

The zombies assembled below the roof, looking at the Pines, who had a karaoke machine. "Zombies and gentlemen! I'm Mabel, they're Dipper and Stan, and together we're Love Patrol Alpha!" Mabel declared into her mic.

"I never agreed to that name." Dipper protested.

"Hit it!" Mabel ordered, starting the karaoke machine.

Stan took one look at the lyrics before turning to Mabel. "Uh, Mabel, our lives may not be worth this."

Dipper started singing. "Friday night, and we're gonna party 'til dawn. Don't worry, Daddy, I've got my favorite dress on?" Dipper sang, framing the last bit as a question. "Mabel, this is stupid!" Dipper hissed, covering his mic.

Mabel began belting out the lyrics, avoiding looking down on the zombies climbing up to the roof. "Roll in to the party, the boys are lookin' our way. We just keep dancing', we don't care what they say! And all the boys are gettin' up in my fac- Aaagh!" Mabel screamed as a zombie finished climbing and swiped at her. "Guys, we have to sing together or it won't work!"

"Boys are a bore, let's show 'em the door." Stan sang, before the twins joined in for the rest of the song. The zombies head exploded in batches of two or three, becoming natural elements of a show like fog or fire machines, but more organic and fleshy.

"Thank you! We'll be here all night!" Mabel yelled to an empty parking lot, the horde defeated.

"Deal with it, zombie idiots!" Stan said before laughing.

""PINES! PINES! PINES! PINES!"" The Pines chanted, celebrating their victory.

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"I'm sorry about this, guys. I totally ruined everything." Dipper apologized when they got back inside the shack, looking at the ground.

"Dipper, are you kidding me? I got to sing karaoke with my two favorite people in the world! No party could ever top that." Mabel said, smiling.

"Kids, listen. This town is crazy. So you need to be careful. I don't know what I'd do with myself if you got hurt on my watch. I'll let you hold on to that spooky journal, as long as you promise me you'll only use it for self-defense, and not go looking for trouble." Stan said, holding his Niephlings close.

"Okay, as long as you promise me that you don't have any other bombshell secrets about this town." Dipper said.

"Promise." Stan agreed, crossing his fingers behind his back.

"Promise." Dipper repeated, also crossing his fingers behind his back.

"Man, we have got a lot of zombie damage to clean up. Where's my handyman anyway?" Stan asked, looking around.

"Brains! Braaains!" Soos groaned as he did the stereotypical zombie walk towards the Pines but he then got stuck on Stan's Slee-p-boi.

"Holy Moses!" Stan exclaimed as he grabbed a chair, almost hitting Soos before Dipper stopped him.

"Wait! There's a page in here about curing zombification. It's gonna take a lot of formaldehyde." Dipper said, looking at the recipe.

Mabel walked up to look at the recipe. "Ooh, and cinnamon!"

"Come on Soos, let's fix you up." Dipper said.

"Brains! Braaains!" Soos moaned, pawing at Mable.

"Soos, cut it out!"

"Heheh, sorry dude!" Soos apologized as he and Mabel left the living room.

"I can't believe it! All this time the author's secrets were hiding in plain sight." Dipper said happily. "A whole new chapter of mysteries to explore..." He trailed off, looking at a diagram of the tree where he found the third journal that suggested there was something underneath it.

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Powers sat up slowly, rubbing his head. "What the… where am I?" He asked from a ditch in the woods. Suddenly, the memories of the previous night swept over him, and Powers began searching himself for bite wounds. Powers' body armor kept any zombies from biting, and Powers pulled a detached skull of his shirt.

Powers shakily got to his feet, reaching for his Colt. Powers hand grasped tremblingly around the holster, but his 9mm was not there. Powers searched the area, but his pistol was nowhere to be found. Abrubtly, the silence of the forest was interrupted by groaning. Powers whipped around to face the source of the noise, fists formed and ready to fight when he saw it was just his partner.

"That was insane! I've never seen anything like it! Who do we report to?" Trigger asked as he, too, shakily got to his feet.

"This is bigger than we imagined. We need to bring in the big guns. My Colt didn't do anything to those zombies."

"But they'll never believe us!" Trigger protested.

"Then we'll make them believe us. This is the town we've been searching for." Powers stated.

Something walked past the agents, causing the agents to panic and think it was a zombie.

"Aah! Another zombie!" Trigger screamed.

"Drop your weapon! Drop your weapon!" Powers said, absentmindedly reaching for his pistol.

The 'zombie' took off his blindfold, revealing Toby Determined holding a bat.

"Oh it's just- just a very ugly man." Powers said.

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The agents walked back towards their hotel room down a lonely road.

"I hope that kid made it out okay." Trigger said, sighing.

"Yeah… wait! That kid! He had a journal that summoned the undead. That could be a critical part of our investigation." Powers said, plotting how to get the journal from the kid.

"That's a pretty good plan. Unfortunately, I can't let you do that. The journal needs to stay exactly where it is." Someone under a dark brown cloak said to the agents. Both of the unknown individual's arms were under the cloak, making it impossible for the agents to see what he was holding.

"What, who are you?" Powers asked as Trigger aimed his pistol.

"I'm afraid that's for me to know, and you to forget." The cloaked stranger said, parting the front part of the cloak and revealing a light bulb that began to glow.

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Completed: 7/4/2023, Words: 8,011, Written using a pirated copy of Microsoft Word 2007.

AN2: Hey all, Happy Fourth of July to my American readers, and happy random day to everyone else! I have been up since 8 am yesterday and only took a four hour nap when I got so tired I couldn't write. This is the second longest chapter so far, so that's fun.

It feels like this story exploded a bit on Wattpad, which is always nice to see. I love your reviews and comments, so send more please!

My job is being annoying, they've only scheduled me for six hours this week, and eight hours next week. If I don't get more hours, I'm going to have to get a second job because I leave for college in about 7 weeks. Don't worry about it, I'll figure something out.

This chapter was originally just a scene where Techno and Phil did the "watch out Phil, there's a baby zombie!". As you can see, it grew a bit more than that.

I wonder who that character in the very end is, the one who did something to the agents.

Also, the reason Powers has a 9mm is because of the old joke about round size: 9mm kills the body, .45 acp kills the soul. He should have brought the bigger guns, literally.