Teen Titans ; ReBeL Yell – If I had Stayed a Renegade-
/
REFLECTIONS
/
Red hood stops Renegade and th ey end up just, talking on a large rooftop as it rains on their backs about how much their mentors have driven them to the brink of exhaustion in their new roles. How ud Dick had never left, Jason's later anti hero and outlaw persona might not have lead him to feel right again. And how Slade's expectations of Dick are far from what he'd expected his life to be as the mercenary's apprentice. Just a ficlet with two former bats seeing things from another side of the glass. Somber but soft.
/
Red Hood was no hunter, he was just out on the streets to send some warped justice to the pavement. It fled, it was fast and too quick to flip out of his hold, until their time felt shorter. Their panting was nullified by a drenching rain as it fell, their faces cast with it. The soldier's thick metal and black outfit no longer the distraction Jason had been looking fir as their bodies collapsed.
"HAVE….PANT…..TO….STOP –
"Why?" The Renegade character looked down at the helmeted nineteen-year-old. His bones as cold as his stony heart had become. "I…. yield…. Dick."
Dick blinked, knees slipping into the concrete as rain pelted Jason' chest while it rose and fell. "I can't go back until I defeat my pursuer." Dick spoke monotonous, without much feeling behind his words. He didn't want to bother, but his job was to return once the objective had been secured.
"Five…. more….sec –
Jason blinked as his ears heard a splash on his right side. Dick. Dock as Renegade, was on his full side, in the same damned puddle. Looking at him. Him. "What are you doing, Todd? This job isn't worth the struggle." Dick frowned, his mocking tone chastising his younger adopted brother as Jason snorted and turned his head. His hands moving up to remove the helmet before it caught rain and he drowned from the silly face plate. "Goldie…. why did you never call?"
Dick's brows arched down, his frown opening up a new set of questions for the outlaw to decode. "I'm not on your side, Jason. We went our separate ways. You know why I had to-
"Kori freaking won't stop thinking about it." Jason suddenly blurted out, distracting Dick from his grim afterthought. "Bruce is training my replacement, just like I was to you. He went through training some kid who used to be Shiva's. I think…. You didn't meet the rest of the family, Dickie – bird?"
"Why?" Dick leaned his face onto his hands, lips and lashes wet with harbored rain drops as they continued to sink into the world of wet and weariness. "Should I have been invited to some reunion? You know Master Slade would never approve."
Jason rolled his eyes and scoffed at the answer his brother retired by memory. "I don't listen to Bruce like he's some god, and you know Wilson is a pushover for his kids."
Dick was soon on his back, a heavy exhale alerting Jay that he had in fact hit a sore spot. "I met one of them, his kid." Dick swallowed down the lump he'd shoved deep inside his gut. The feeling of rejection he'd never wanted to fool himself into feeling. "She was young, stronger….and just like him. Her hair is white. Platinum." Dick paused, knowing Jason had seen Deathstroke outside of his Slade persona a couple of times. "You know, I felt like I could go that blonde - he might look at me…."
"Like you're worth something again?"
Both men sighed at the sky now, wondering if despite a lack of highlights on their scalps and attitude adjustments, if they were just misfit toys; set adrift to be forgotten, disregarded as time marched on and along. "Slade compares me less to Grant. Says I'll be on my own next year, my apprenticeship will have finally ended. I'll have hurt, mauled, killed and coerced enough people to earn that gorillas love." He sniffed, laughing even as he cried about it. A hand at his shoulder as Dick's face was no mystery to anyone. "I still maul, kill and coerce so many people that B doesn't know what to do with me. So, the Outlaws are all mine to see that no one on my team…ever feels like that. Like just rejects of an industry we helped build. You did a lot for us too, Goldie." Jason let his arm fall back as a clap of thunder made Docks heart jump a little.
"You can stop running and hiding anytime, come work for me if you have the guts to stand up to one's Wilson on the next few months. Is it April –
"No." Shaking his head with a small chuckle, Dick sniffled and didn't have to get up, not until he was a shivering mess. "Winter didn't come yet, Jay. It's global warming. Blame that for ruining any chance we have at it feeling like November thirtieth."
"Amen…. I wish Lex would invest that weather – changing machine to fix the planet." Sighed the Hood as he put his hands behind his head and propped himself up, the rain clearing as the night sky, still made his nose crackle by how ugly it was painted. "Where ya' headed after you skip town with Death – meister?" Jason grinned and let his eyes wander to where Dick had his hands on his chest, still his tears a bit crusted as he tried to picture a sky full of stars above the two bird brains. "Wasn't told that. Classified."
"Even if you're practically his only graduate from the school of sociopathic manipulators in the making?" Smugly wondered the Hood, his joke making Dick snicker as that should have worked for a better gag when they were younger. When he was Red X. Trying to find himself.
Trying to come back home after losing his memories and his identity, only to gain something even better with time.
"Bruce treats….us like a joke. He was having it rough when the new kid asked all about you though."
Dick blinked, his eyes dried as he looked at Jason, curious to know a bit about this new boy. "What's it like, having yourself a little brother to tag along on missions? I know you help out at the cave." Dick gave Jason a mischievous look as his smirk peeked out a bit. Poking fun at the rough and tumble outlaw being more like a stand - in sitter.
"He's a whiz kid with tech and tells me not to go poking my nose around the cave like some dumb kid. I swear, he has the brain of my grandma if –
Dick started to chuckle, before long he was laughing and clutching his side. Unable to stop himself. "You…. B…. Bruce….hired YOU a nanny?? Is he for real?"
"Oh, shut up!" Shooting Dick, a dissatisfied growl, the outlaw kicked the bratty ex – wonder boy in the shins with the least amount of force his size tens could muster up.
"OW! Damn it, Jay! Ok, ok…. who…. heh…. heh….heh!...Is, this special kid, then anyway?" He dried his eyes once more, this time not out of the pain he'd been forced to realize
Not the stark feeling of rejection, of being forgotten. Not of his possible Stockholm or his damn psychosis. Just, he didn't know how to process this as Jason quickly filled in the blanks with a grumble. "He's the new Robin. All I can say, because you'd tell him off to death."
Dick now rolled his eyes at the accusation. "I'm not his big brother, have no right to get in the middle of your little feud." Dick grinned as the first thought was…. did this kid see him as an I –
The kid froze up, sitting up as his twenty year old body begged to not be needed yet. "Y – yes sir –
~ RENEGADE. YOU'VE GONE OFFLINE. RETURN TO THE BASE, IMMEDIATELY. I WON'T TELL YOU AGAIN TWICE…~
"Y- y – es sir…. r – right away…. Over…" Dick held gingerly a set of fingers to his bone cold ears. "You did that to shut him out." Jason sat up, Dick didn't speak, as if thinking about something else he wouldn't talk about with anyone. About the constant abuse if fighting and losing to a mam twice his height and weight. About never being in complete control anymore.
"Dick. Don't fight this guy alone. Kori –
"I said I'd never put her in danger." Dick shot back with his trust faltering by the remark. The request to face Slade even now. The probes still blood red hot, not just inside of him since what…. the first attempt had failed to get them out of this deal. Dick held the left side of his face as the scar from that boot against it had always reminded him, that Slade could be more. More than the Titans' executioner. More than the man to turn Dick into the hero's catalyst for destruct. More than –
"Dick."
Jason wrenched the shivering ex – Titan from his eternal punishment for having cared too much about that man in the Iron mask. All while Jason, not at all used to seeing his brother a crying, shaking and miserable wreck, begged him to stay strong until the found a way to remove the machines. Slade had upgraded the program, no longer the same as how the sweeper might have done for the first batch. He'd used his own formula, a code that would never die upon his lips should he perish. Dock would never have that key to their survival. Ever.
And so, as the sky cleared so too did Renegade weep like a baby upon his little brother's hulking, wet shoulder. Patting his back, Jason didn't know how to be as Dick fell apart on the roof that night long. The only other person who would have seen him wasn't here, but a few houses off hiding. A base where he'd be punished and controlled to forget the ordeal and his feelings of their fight in the rain. "We'll never give up, Dickie – bird…" Rasped the outlaw as Dick's state soon tore at his heart to sniff back drops of salt, too. "Neither should you, wait for us. Kay, Big bird?"
After his departure, after the masks had come back up, Jason sneezed, shivering by how stupid he'd been to romp in the rain like some dopey child. Dick too, as he'd have to be….
He chuckled. "Dick is off the hook from that ass – whooping, at least." He shook his head, hand dragged over his face at the image of Slade nursing Dick back to his full strength. A bowl of soup and an apron on with the covers tucked in tightly over top his big brother's head. His rather emotional, big brother.
Jason heard the ping* from his unit no later.
~ Jason! B is earlier sick! Where the heck are you right now? ~
"Cool it, kid- genius." Snorted the outlaw as he looked over to see the next roof as less of a struggle than where he already was to get back home. "Had something else to do. Nice night out."
~ That's not…Jace. You and B will.gomover the debriefing later but for God sakes…you weren't online. We thought you got –
"A little bird flew into town so I got it back into the air, just in time to …..never-mind." Jason groaned and hated being so poetic for little reason to be so sappy. "JUST tell the Bat that I need the showers asap….and Alf's quickest soup he can whip…. ah…ah….. choo!"
Tim Drake frowned over the line and pinched his temples as he swung round to see Alfred and Bruce by the computer. "Is Master Jason alright, Master Timothy?" The kindly old man was made to wonder; Jason was unruly with angst no matter what age he'd be in the next couple of generations….
Cassandra came around the corner as foot – soft as a cat. "Is he grounded, Bruce?" She looked up at the tall adult as he didn't speak a word. "We'll see if he confesses anything about tonight." Was all the Bat managed to say before drawing up the cowl to head out into Gotham on his own. "Where are you going, B?" Tim's eyes perked up as Bruce's anguish was visible under the cape and masked distress he'd worn since Dick's turn to the dark side of the law. "I'm going to help Jason, make sure he's not hurt. I lost one son and in him before, two is too many to count. Watch the city, Tim, Cassandra? Listen to Alfred." He took out his grapple and let it go as the car was there, revved up and shiny as a brand new dime under dimmed spotlights. "I'll be back shortly after you've settled in for the night."
He had heard Jason say little bird, so there was hope that one day. Someday, that little bird would get to fly free and return to its nest one last time.
Maybe, to finally say goodbye. Or, something else. Something it had meant to chirp all along.
~ I'm not staying with you, Bruce. We're done. Get yourself a new Robin…. I don't care what you say. This is my decision. My choice. ~
~ Dick; you're to stay where you are. We didn't discuss this. That's an order. ~
~ I don't take orders from you, anymore! Because…I quit!!~
/
~ Bruce….I'm sorry….I'm so, sorry….I never meant to….~
Dare the bat tell Jason that after Slade had left Jump, he'd found Dick attempting to end it. If he hadn't dragged the boy up from making that terrible mistake.
~ Put down the weapon, – Dick…it's ok. I'm not going to hurt you. ~
~ Like a criminal, B? ~ Shot the boy with a wobble in his lip. ~That's what I am right now, isn't it? I stole, I hurt my only friends…. I did the one thing you taught me never to do and now you have to take me out. Go ahead! ~
Dick moved and dropped the gun. ~Just do it before he finds out…. before I lose my reason to live already…she's so hurt, B…I almost…. ~
~ RENEGADE . ~
Dick gasped as the speakers in his ears gas the poor boy already traumatized. ~ I'm sending a bot – team to locate you. I won't be far behind. We'll discuss your, punishment back at the haunt. Return now, and I might just spare your transgressions for tonight, my apprentice. ~ Tears formed in Dick's eyes as he collapsed to his knees, Batman rushing to his as Dick panted heavily, a panic attack lingering as Bruce took him in close and didn't let go. Slade had said my like a ball and chain. As if he KNEW who Dock had run into. Damn it…
~I'm sorry, Dick…I should have listened…. we'll fix this. We'll stop that madman and get you to safety. You and the Titans, you'll all be safe. I promise, chum. We'll find a way. I promise. ~
Jason had made the same promise and the last upgrade had thrown the heroes a step back from that decision to move on. Cyborg was the leader now and Raven was off world in another dimension, channeling her "inner demon." Beast boy was Changeling and still with his judgmental yet loving family the Doom Patrol while Starfire was with Todd in Gotham. Here, saving lives while Cy ended up recruiting more heroes to fight the good fight on the West coast. The east coast felt so lonely, Jason was tempted to move to Blud, yet again.
Again, Bruce had stopped him like he had tried to his first Robin. His very and only, the boy who had started the Titans, who had made peace between the nation of Tamera and Earth and the boy, who had sacrificed everything to keep more hearts beating than just his own.
He was a hero, always would be as the darkened sky let down flakes of white by the time the sun shone through. December first. Any many more until the first days of spring came once again.
/
Spring and hope are ubiquitous throughout this flashback. Dick and Bruce had a falling out and Bruce back wgen he first ran into Dick after he'd been taken from Jump by Slade, was close to killing himself to get out if being the thing he'd always been afraid to face. Slade changed Dick to see himself as unworthy, but Batman started the helicopters- debate of parenting.
So, Dick is desperate and he even shoved down so many of his tears that Jason had to make him laugh to crack that outer shell. Thing is, as an assassin, Slade will probably have Dick remolded to turn as cold as he was before Jason had given up on their fight. They are only fighting themselves, and reflecting on what they had lost and gained by their decisions to give up or not simple work up to the mens' expectations shows. How Jason claims that his run is a joke to new generations even when he's technically the nitty gritty cleanup crew for the Bat in riskier missions than involve getting your hands dirty.
While Dick is just avoiding making mistakes even while he makes them in some way to spite the fact that in the next year he's set partially free from his chains to hold his own contracts and blood money in higher regard. He also compared how Slade looked at Rose with more pride than he had Dick, feeding the dependence he's since gotten from being kept away as Slade's personal weapon of choice.
The ode to spring in winter in this is a symbol of the world seemingly being bleak and unclear; the revelation that after winter will come spring but every time, even Bruce also made the same promise while that rescue never came. Dick became colder, so Jason with his tough guy persona is still a clown at heart. He still knows that he has to reach out since he knows what it feels like to be misjudged by what you've done for reasons that may seem a bit unorthodox to save the ones you love. You can never be too old to have a shoulder to cry on, really.
So, what did you think? It's similar to Tumble in Sore one – shot where Red and Renegade fight and Dick finds out that he can't take what he is in a public seyting; as dangerous as his master, but a bit more…. soapy to me. I hope it has you reflecting on what's to come for the next one shot!
