Izzy awoke with a jolt when the entire plane suddenly shuttered, the Psycho Hose Beast leaning off of her still sleeping boyfriend and stretching. As she looked around, she was surprised to see everyone else in Economy Class still asleep despite their main mode of transportation acting like it was gonna plummet out of the sky.
The redhead shook her head to not let that idea linger, and carefully tiptoed out of the room and into the dining room. As expected, no one else was there, which was both relieving and kind of anxiety inducing. Looking outside, she saw the skies were blue with partial clouds, which did make Izzy relax just the slightest.
Suddenly, an intern dashed by from where First Class was towards the Cargo Hold so fast Izzy had to do a double take to make sure she wasn't imagining things. That was so weird, the redhead cocking her head as she looked at where the intern ran off to.
"He caught you off guard too, huh?" A familiar voice asked. Izzy whipped her head around, twin braids nearly whipping herself in the face as she saw Merida standing in the doorway to the winner's section.
Izzy smiled as the princess sat down across from her. "Yeah. Sometimes it feels like the interns are just some entity that spawn in a lab to do Chris' dirty work…" She gave friend a questioning look. "Did the plane wake you up too?"
Merida shook her head. "No. I was already up when this thing decided to have a moment. As comfortable as those chairs are, they aren't good substitutes for beds. So treat that as a warning whenever you win."
The Psycho Hose Beast snorted. "I'll take your word for it." She looked out the window absentmindedly. "How's the team treating you?"
The princess groaned and slammed her face on the tabletop. "Horrible." Her voice was muffled by the wood, so she leaned back up with a sudden look of exhausted frustration on her face. "Heather is a bitch, the base definition of one. Courtney and Gwen are… fine. But they keep taking shots at Heather that they set her off. Cody is annoying, but harmless. And Sierra is a complete bloody loon."
"Sounds fun", Izzy said sarcastically. "Sorry you got stuck with probably the worst combo of people ever."
"Nah, it's fine. We have to put up with Majima and Flowey, so they're nothing." There was a pause. "At least right now. Later on… who knows?"
Izzy nodded. "It can get bad, I'll tell you that. Back with Island, during our break days, everyone stayed… mostly civil. But after the merge, it became a complete glare fest. Tension was high, and especially with the girls it felt like a fight was gonna break out from the slightest spark on the fuse. It was bad. Looking back… I was very much aware of it, but ignored it because it was fun watching them all squirm and bicker. As long as I was kept out."
"Dang…" Merida gave Izzy a smirk. "I can see Majima is rubbing off on you more."
The Psycho Hose Beast's smile fell a bit. "Yeah… but it's also made me think…" She looked outside again. "What would've happened if Caleb and the others found me after my first Island elimination and not during Action? How differently would things have played out?"
Merida put a reassuring hand on Izzy's. "Remember what The Doc said."
Izzy groaned. "I know, I know… 'Don't try and focus on the 'what ifs' and 'could've beens'… But I can't help it! It's just… Stuff like that is always on my mind."
"I feel ya', Iz…" Merida leaned back and crossed her arms. "But just remember what we have now. We are both crazy lucky to even know each other, so just focus on that."
The Psycho Hose Beast nodded silently, and reached over to snag one of the fruit in the bowl on the tabletop. She pulled out a banana and peeled it, swiftly taking a bite. As she chewed, both herself and Merida in a comfortable silence, she looked down at the fruit. In her mind, a memory began to play out, which brought a slight smile to her face.
~
"So, Dave", Izzy asked as she hung upside down from a bar above. "Why do you like bananas so much?"
The Minion paused his work on modifying his dart gun and looked up at the wild child with an inquisitive look. "Why do you ask?"
"Just curious, that's all."
Barranco, who was also there in their little corner of the workshop, didn't even look up from his blueprint sketching as he spoke up. "I've been kinda curious about that myself, honestly. Like, you don't see me going gaga over carrots, donuts or sandwiches."
Dave shrugged as he leaned back in his chair. "I don't know. Maybe it's just because I see the yellow and go 'that's like me' internally. But I will say bananas are especially delicious to me, and I don't know why. Maybe it's a Minion thing…"
Barranco finally paused his work and looked up. "So… What, it's a genetic thing? That's… something."
Dave shrugged. "Like I said, I don't know. Even parts of myself are a mystery."
Izzy giggled lightly. "Ain't that something. One of the least understandable creatures ever doesn't know something about themselves."
Dave crossed his arms and pouted while Barranco laughed. "Welcome to the club!"
Soon enough, all three of them began to laugh earnestly, their original tasks completely forgotten…
~
Izzy didn't smile as the memory ended, wondering why she never got to have a moment like that with Team E-Scope. They spent time together after the show… So why did nothing they actually did feel genuine?
"Izzy…?"
The Psycho Hose Beast searched her memories, and the more she found, the more fake everything felt. From when she first assembled Team E-Scope to hunt down the briefcase after Island, to their time together on Action's Aftermath.
"Izzy."
Why did it feel fake? Why did it have to be fake? Oh god she was spiralling she was losing it she was-
"Izzy!"
Izzy was completely snapped out of her thoughts as Merida's shout, blinking and shaking her head as she came too. Looking over, she saw the princess giving her a worried look.
"Is everything okay, Iz? You just… Stopped there for a moment."
"Hmm? Okay, yeah, sorry." Izzy fully turned to her friend and took another bite of banana. "Just got really sucked into a memory, that's all."
Merida gave her fiend a long, hard look, then shrugged and leaned back. "That's fair. Just… Don't spook me like that again, okay?"
"You got it, Merry!" Izzy wolfed down the rest of the fruit in her hand, and quickly headed off to the confessional. "I gotta use the bathroom, be right back!"
Merida waved her friend goodbye as she darted off, but when she was gone, the princess took a deep breath and let out a long, quiet sigh. She knew Izzy was struggling, and it would only get worse as time trucked on.
With a groan, she stood up and made her way after Izzy.
~X~
About an hour later, everyone else was finally awake. It was a very groggy time, as the plane just so happened to be experiencing some fairly aggressive turbulence. Loose screws and bolts fell from the walls and ceiling as the two Economy Class teams sat on the benches.
With Team Chris, they weren't doing too well. Alejandro and Noah used their hands to shield themselves from the falling metal bits, Eva was scowling like a cat caught in a rainstorm, and Izzy looked just tired while trying to bury her aerophobia.
And then there was Owen, who was strapped in and wailing his head off, his fear of flying out in full force. "AHHHH, I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!!!" He let out a scream.
Eva massaged her temples as Noah spoke up. "Stop sweating, Lunchbox. Air travel is like the 15th safest mode of transportation. Unless you're in a death trap."
Or flying with The Doctor, Izzy thought to herself. She blames that fez-loving loon for her aerophobia being so much worse.
which she instantly took back as a weakly boarded up chunk of the plane's outer wall gave way, causing everything to fall into chaos.
"THIS ONE FOR EXAMPLE!" Noah cried as the wind whipped around, everyone clutching on to whatever was stable enough so they weren't thrown out.
Leshawna was clinging on for dear life, but lost her grip and was sucked towards the opening. Luckily, as she flew past, Alejandro was quick to react and grabbed her wrist.
"Such beauty will not fall through giant aeroplane holes on my watch!" The Spaniard said in a heroic and suave tone.
Owen, while all of this was happening, was still crying out in terror. But he stopped and let his eyes bug out (as did Noah and Izzy who were clinging onto him) when his straps ripped and gave way. Before anyone on Team E-Scope could react, Owen slid away and flew right towards the hole, plugging it but looking like a complete mess.
"Owen!" Izzy cried with a gasp. She ran over and started fretting over him, looking frantic as she thought about what she needed to do, while Noah looked his friend over with wide eyes. "Don't worry, we'll get you out. EVA!"
The Fitness Buff confidently walked over and let her eyes wander around the whole situation. Then, she looked at Izzy, and nodded at the stuck lard-ball.
The Psycho Hose Beast instantly knew what she meant. "Right." She looked at her boyfriend. "Okay, Owen, I'm gonna need you to suck in your gut."
"What?! Why?!"
"Just trust me. Noah, stand back." The bookworm didn't argue as he took three big steps back. Then, as soon as Owen's hand was tightly in Izzy's grasp, the Season One winner sucked in and was pulled free, with Eva acting instantly and shoving a massive box into place of the hole, stopping the air flow.
"And that is how it's done." Eva said confidently.
"Thanks, Eva", Izzy said gratefully. She then turned towards her catatonic bf. "You okay, ya' big goof?"
"I… I think I am…" The boy said before fainting.
"He's fine", Noah said in a bored yet confident tone.
It was just then the PA system screeched to life. "This is your captain speaking", Chris' voice rang out. "It's time for everyone to join me in the common area. And I mean everyone." It crackled back off, leaving the two teams left in a quiet tizzy.
"Wonder what that's about…" Eva muttered.
"Who knows", Noah said as Izzy dragged her barely conscious boyfriend behind her. "But let's hope it's for a better plane."
Eva sniffed harshly. "Unlikely."
Izzy tuned out the rest of their conversation as she took a seat closest towards the corkboard, sitting next to Alejandro. He flashed her a smile as Owen stood up, eyes still a bit wild, as Eva stood next to him and Noah took the seat next to Iz. All of Team Victory (and Tyler) claimed the second table while Team Amazon left First Class and sat opposite of Team Chris. Izzy and Merida shared a wave and smile, only for Heather to shut that down with a glare.
Izzy deflated while Merida glared back, not one to back down from a challenge. She sat on the table between Cody and Gwen, and watched with everyone else as Chris walked into the room.
"Welcome to today's challenge!" The host began. "It's-"
"Is it a reward or elimination challenge?" Harold interrupted.
"Good question, Harold. Aaaaand… Like I'm gonna tell ya'!"
"Two of us got booted out last time. So today has reward written all over it", Tyler whispered.
"I could go for a reward", Lindsay said aloud. Izzy noticed Chris' visible frustration. "Oh, I hope it's candy. Or a whole bunch of shoes! Or shoes made of candy!"
"And I hope you all brought your giant radioactive monster repellent", Chris continued like nothing happened. "Because… We are about to land in… JAPAN!" He pointed to the door behind him, and Chef burst through while wearing an orange martial arts robe and black belt while holding a katana in his mouth.
"Gosh, you guys", Harold said in a surprising amount of disgust and offence. "That's totally a Chinese outfit."
"Thank you Harold", Chris said dismissively. "Now remember, anyone who doesn't sing-"
"You just…" Harold continued with crossed arms. "You'd really think you'd work harder to get it right."
"Harold!" Chris barked, then continued his explanation. "Anyone who doesn't sing is immediately disqualified-"
"Your cultural insensitivity is just… Gosh!" The Napoleon Dynamite knock-off continued to rant, earning a glare from the host and cook, who both shared a smirk. Izzy's eyes bulged out as Chef dashed over to the nearby exterior door and slashed it apart at light speed. It fell apart, and soon wind was rushing by once more.
Chris and Chef hung onto the doorframe to the elimination area as every contestant was sucked outside and sent into a free fall, screaming in terror.
Merida was curing up a storm in a very thick Scottish accent, hoping it could slip by the censors as Izzy just locked up and fell still as a plank. Her eyes were wide and she darted her eyes constantly about, mainly making sure Merry, Owen, Noah and Eva were all still there and not dead.
it was just then they heard a familiar double ding, which shut them all up quickly.
"Seriously?!" Noah shouted. "I MEAN, SERIOUSLY?!"
"YOU'RE KIDDING ME?!" Leshawna roared.
"THIS IS CRUEL AND UNUSUAL, EVEN FOR YOU MCLEAN!" Heather screamed.
"SING", Chris called down to them with a megaphone. "AND I MIGHT THINK ABOUT SAVING YOUR MUSICAL BUTTOCKS! MAYBE YOU'LL TRY HARDER THIS TIME, OKAY?"
"He can't be serious", Merida muttered as Courtney started singing.
"I think he is", Izzy said back as she swam over. "Let's just get this over with and hope we turn out fine afterwards."
"If we're singing, I'd rather sing something that's actually catchy!" She glance at Heather. "And not this."
Izzy was silent as more of the contestants sang a line, but it was just then Izzy spotted her phone falling through the sky beside her. Quickly, she grabbed it and started to shuffle through the playlist. Once she spotted an appropriate song, she hit play, and turned the volume up to max.
The original song came to a screeching halt as the beginning beat of Galaxies by Owl City started to ring out through the air. Everyone else stopped and shot Izzy a questioning look, who just sheepishly smiled and took a deep breath.
Call back the cap-com,
Tick off the time-bomb,
Let felicity fly!
Everyone sans Team Amazon pre-Nile were shocked at Izzy's surprisingly sweet voice, even if the rushing wind made it hard to fully hear her. But still, it carried a sense of whimsy to it as they fell to the landmass below.
Armour the airlock,
Blanket the bedrock,
And kiss the planet goodbye!
Shockingly, Merida joined in at this point, performing a couple of flips over towards Courtney and Gwen. She wrapped an arm around each of them and hugged them close as she sang her verse. Almost as if by magic, the Ex-CIT and Goth somehow split the next verse between them like they knew the song by heart.
Dear God, I was terribly lost!
When the galaxies crossed,
And the Sun went dark!
Soon enough, everyone was chiming in, singing decently together. While they did get the lyrics right, tempos were off. Which was fair, considering the situation they all were in.
But dear God,
You're the only North Star!
I would follow this far!
Alejandro swam over and shot Heather a smug and handsome smirk, which she blew off by shoving him away. He flailed around a bit before being caught by Leshawna, who both quietly swooned over his charm. Eva grunted and rolled her eyes as she took over the song, doing her best to hold the highs. It didn't work.
Fight back the flight deck,
Bring on the breakneck,
Cue the solar eclipse!
Bridgette, Beth and Lindsay were the best ones out of their team as Harold beatboxed as a backing track behind them, before taking over the rest of the verse with his own take. It got bonus points for its creativity, and surprisingly it was fairly catchy.
Summit the sunset,
Dovetail the dragnet,
And blow your backbone to bits!
DJ was a calm singer, Sierra was a pappy singer, and Tyler was a bad singer. This mismatch of skills made the next verse exactly what you'd think: a complete train wreck. But at least it was in tempo, so the song wasn't completely derailed.
Dear God, I was terribly lost!
When the galaxies crossed,
And the Sun went dark!
Izzy and Merida took over once again, backed by the rest of Team E-scope as they picked the song up from the last verse and brought it back up. With the duo back in control, the song began to reach its peak.
But dear God,
You're the only North Star!
I would follow this far…
Each member of the three teams took a turn singing a bit, the song remixed slightly to accommodate the far greater number of people. One would think the song would've fallen apart at this point…
Oh telescope…
Keep an eye on my only hope.
Surprisingly, it didn't.
Lest I blink and be swept off the narrow road!
Hercules, you've got nothing to say to me…
'Cause you're not the blinding light that I need!
Izzy took centre stage once again, spinning around gracefully as everyone else circled around her. She started to let her voice call out a calming lull, which was almost peaceful. Almost in response, the background instrumental started to slow down and calm, almost like it was becoming a lullaby.
For He is the saving grace
Of the Galaxies!
Everyone sang the next verse together as one, with Izzy dramatically stretching her arms out as the broke through a cloud, leaving a surprisingly beautiful flower mark behind.
He is the saving grace
Of the Galaxies!
Izzy took over once again, the song's instrumental slowing to a crawl as Izzy let out a gentle melody.
Dear God, I was terribly lost!
When the galaxies crossed,
And the Sun went dark!
But dear God,
You're the only North Star!
I would follow this far-
Everything came to a screeching halt when everyone suddenly landed inside a massive bowl filled with rice. Izzy burst from the food and spat some out in shock, eyes darting around as everything suddenly turned back to normal… Well, Total Drama's version of normal, anyway.
Everyone else slowly followed suit, one of the first being Harold. "Japan!" He cheered. "Yes! I know everything about this place!"
Leshawna poked out right after, her shocked expression shifting to a glare, which was directed right at the nerd. "What you know just sent us free falling out of a plane!"
"But I went to Sensei Steve's Feudal Japanese Summer Camp."
"Oh yeah?" Alejandro said after he emerged. He then said something in Japanese to Leshawna, and Izzy rolled her eyes at it.
"How's that?" The Sister With 'Tude asked.
"I said 'You are as beautiful as a flower'."
Leshawna giggled in a very uncharacteristic way as Harold watched in shock. Merida grunted and rolled her eyes at the little moment of flirting and trudged through the rice towards the rim of the massive bowl. She gripped the edge and pulled herself out with ease, flipping over and landing on her feet. Izzy followed soon after, with Eva, Noah and Owen joining them one after another.
"Gotta admit, never thought I'd be skydiving in my life", Eva said gruffly as she brushed some loose rice off her shirt.
"What I want to know is where you learned to sing like that", Noah said in suspicion as Owen picked rice out of his hair and ate it.
Izzy shrugged. "Me and Merry have a lot of friends who are very… musically inclined."
"That's putting it lightly", Merida joked as she undid her ponytail and ruffled her hair. "Music is a big part of things for a lot of them. And it's kinda leaked onto us. Plus, our pal Caleb usually tries to set up a karaoke night every so often."
Owen's eyes sparkled in wonder. "That sounds amazing! Maybe I could tag along sometime. No, we could!" Owen brought Noah and Eva into a headlock each, neither looking particularly fond of it but not making an effort to push him off.
Izzy and Merida froze and shared a look. "Maybe", they said together.
Courtney was the next one to hop out of the bowl, shooting the Psycho Hose Beast a pointed look. "Are we just going to ignore the fact you snuck a phone onto the show? Because we all saw you turn it on for the music."
Izzy gave her an innocent look. "What phone?"
Courtney glared and looked ready to argue, but was cut off when Gwen landed in front of her. "No one else saw the phone, Court. And don't bother arguing with her", Izzy's eye twitched when the goth pointed a finger at her. "You'll be stuck in that for an hour."
Izzy swallowed nervously as those who were out of the bowl headed towards where an intern was leading them, leaving the Psycho Hose Beast all on her own. Merida tried to stick by, but Heather forcefully pushed the princess away, earning a harsh glare in return.
With a sigh, Izzy followed after and joined up with her team, her thoughts telling her this was gonna be a long day…
~X~
All the teams were grouped together and lined up, watching Chris at full attention as he took over once again.
"Okay, your first challenge is inside a Japanese game show studio. Bow down before… SUPER HUMAN MEGA PINBALL SMASH!"
Tyler gasped and shared an excited look with Harold. "I love Japanese game shows!" The two boys shared a high five.
"My favourite is Human Itchy My Car Go Go, where you have to throw a banana into a car window using-"
"A giant shrimp fork!" Tyler finished in excitement. Izzy stared at them in complete, dumbfounded confusion. She didn't know whether to laugh, or feel offended for Majima's sake.
Chris slammed a club into a gong he was standing next to, silencing the fanboying. "Oh look, my own personal geek-gong!" Everyone settled down and readjusted after the sudden and loud noise. "K, I'm gonna need one volunteer from each team to climb into these giant hamster balls. Then, your teammates are gonna beat ya' around the game board, scoring points by bouncing you off bumpers and posts. Most points wins.
"And, I have a special local surprise for each of you to share your little ball shaped paradise with." He shot the three teams a smug look as everyone shared worried glances. "So, teams, select a ball guy. Or gal. Victory?"
"We chose DJ", Leshawna said.
"We do?" The Brickhouse said in worry.
"Coolio." The host held up a derby looking panda… which was Chinese, not Japanese. "Here's your pinball buddy!"
"A panda? No! Remember when I crumpled that mummy puppy in Egypt?" He rambled on about how the pyramid exploded when it happened.
"That so totally did not happen!" Leshawna said in annoyance. "The mummy dog didn't explode, it disintegrated, remember?"
"I remember when you knocked a poor little birdie out of the sky", Lindsay mentioned.
Izzy and Noah shared a confused look, wondering what they had missed last episode.
"Exactly, terrible!" DJ continued. "I think that dog thing might've cursed me." As if to punctuate the point, the panda lunged and started to beat the ever loving crap out of the gentlest brickhouse around.
"Awwwwwww, cuuuuute!" Chris cooed sarcastically. He then pointed at the next team. "Team Chris Is Really Really Really Hot?"
"I'm uhhhh… I'm allergic to panda dander", Noah said. "I get hives."
"What he said", Tyler said.
"I can't promise the thing will still be alive", Eva said bluntly.
"I'll do it", Alejandro spoke up. "For my team."
"Wicked! Incoming!" Chris threw the next savage panda at the Spaniard, who caught it with ease and complemented it so it calmed down into a more docile state. Most of the girls cooed at the sweet scene except Amazon and Izzy. The Psycho Hose Beast felt weird watching it, Heather and Merida glared and Courtney, Sierra and Gwen couldn't care less.
"And… Team Amazon?" Chris addressed.
It was at that point things spiralled, where the three heaviest hitters of the team who already competed on two other seasons started taking potshots at each other, poorly veiled threats.
It finally made Merida reach her limit. "Bloody 'ell, shut up! I'll do it!" She walked past, shooting the girls a glare. "If I knew I'd be stuck on a team with you three, I would've stayed home with my hurricane younger brothers."
"Kinda hoping Cody would've done it, because you're pairing with Sierra!" The host said proudly.
"WHAT?!?!" The two girls shouted. They snapped their gazes at each other, and glared.
"Greeeeeeaaaaat…" Merida droned out as the volunteers trudged over to the hamster balls. Izzy watched them scale up a chunk of scaffolding and get forced in by Chef, who was wearing more country appropriate attire. After they were stuffed in, he climbed down, pulled the launch spring, and let it rip, sending the balls flying out.
Team Chris was shooting into the stratosphere with their score, the blue ball bouncing around perfectly to nail the most points possible. After watching her friends bounce around the board a bit longer, while struggling to help her team push the paddle up, Izzy could only wince as Team Amazon's ball rolled out with the lowest score out of the three.
the pink ball popped open, and a frustrated Merida stomped out with an equally frustrated Sierra right behind. "Just because you couldn't get pair up with Cody doesn't mean you can throw the bloody challenge!"
Next was Team Victory's ball, and a heartbroken and beat up DJ walked out, sobbing as he carried the now unconscious panda in his arms.
Finally, Team Chris' ball rolled out gracefully and came to a stop just before Merida, opening to reveal an unharmed Alejandro and intact panda.
"With a score of 462000, Team I AM Really Really Really Really Hot takes the super mega pinball smash, and wins a leg up in the next Japanese challenge."
Alejandro returned to his team, handing his panda over to an intern and bidding farewell to the gentle creature. Immediately, he was met with unanimous praise.
"Al, you rocked that challenge!" Owen cheered.
The Spanirard's eye twitched, but only Izzy seemed to notice as he brushed it off. "Of course, it would've been nothing without the help of Ting Ting. He helped by guiding me along the right path for the most points."
"Humble", Noah droned out. "Don't get a lot of that on this show." Izzy knew Noah, and she could tell he was masking his suspicions of this new face in play. And Izzy agreed. No one knew anything about him, so he could really end up like anyone.
Eva smirked. "I like you, Al."
The Spaniard's eye twitched yet again, but Izzy made no comment on it as Chris led everyone back towards the plane. It was a mostly quiet walk, until Eva's eyes flashed with remembrance.
"Hang on, Iz…" The Psycho Hose Beast looked at the Fitness Buff. "Isn't your pal Majima from here?"
"Yeah, he is, why?"
This made the rest of her team take notice, especially Alejandro. "Well, it seems we have a greater advantage than I thought. Tell me, Izzy, what has your friend Majima taught you?"
Izzy tilted her head in thought. "A lot of Japanese, for one. What else… Oh! He taught me a lot of wicked fighting styles! Like one that turns breakdancing into a weapon."
"That sounds… violent", Owen said. "What would he need to know that stuff?"
"It's just because he's a bit of a maniac. Likes kicking hornet's nests and such."
"So… He's like a mentor to you?"
Izzy made a 'so-so' motion with her hand. "Kind of? We just hang out and cause chaos wherever we go, more so. The whole teaching is just a side effect of that."
"Sounds fun." Eva said bluntly. "Maybe we could meet him someday."
Izzy hissed. "I don't know… He's not really a people person all that much…"
"Ah, he lives an honourable and secluded life", Alejandro said with a nod.
Izzy looked away. "More like because he's a member of the Japanese Yakuza…"
That made her team whip around and all stare at her with shocked, semi-terrified expressions. "He's a what?!" Noah cried.
"Hey, he might be a yakuza, but he's still my friend", Izzy pointed accusingly at the Bookworm. "Don't start treating him like the most evil thing around. He cares… In his own special way."
The team was silent for a moment, before Eva rolled her eyes. "Whatever you say, sister."
They continued their walk in silence, following the host into the plane and all the way into First Class, where he had everyone sit in/stand next to chairs set up in front of the area's TV screen. With the push of his button, the screen flicked to life and began to play a promo for Total Drama Action. Only thing… Everyone except Chris were redubbed in English while Japanese kanji flashed on the screen.
After the promo, everyone was dumbstruck.
"Um… What?" Noah droned out.
"That piece of cinematic gold is the Japanese promo. Total Drama is huuuge here!" The host explained.
"Okaaaayyy…" Courtney said. "But, that was in English. So why are they dubbing our voices?"
"Turns out the locals just don't like the sounds of y'all." The host shrugged. "Sorry!"
"No you're not!"
"Truuueee… Ready for the next challenge?!" He changed topics really quick, Izzy blinking in surprise. "I hope you paid attention, because you'll be writing, directing and producing your very own Japanese commercial! There's a brand new candy hitting the Japanese market." He held up a bag with a fishtail on the front. "It's Chef's 'Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time Candy Fish Tails'!"
Again, Izzy was stuck between laughing at the ridiculous names or feeling offended for Majima's sake.
"I call this…" Chris continued, "The Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time Candy Fish Tails Challenge… Of celebration fun!" He winked and grinned at the camera, which made Izzy internally groan and externally cringe.
Majima was probably soooooo pissed right now.
"You said we were going to pay a real Tokyo ad firm!" Chef grumbled.
"Oops. I did, didn't I?" He faced the contestants again. "As props, you'll be allowed to use anything in the aeroplane storage area. Since Team Chris Is Really Really Really Really Hot won the first challenge, they get to choose their props first…"
Izzy's team all shared a high five, although Tyler missed the mark and slammed onto the ground.
"…With Team Victory choosing second", Chris continued, "And Team Amazon left with whatever… drags are left."
Izzy heard Merida growl angrily, and caught a glimpse of the princess glaring heated daggers into the back of Sierra's head. The two redheads shared a look, and silently exchanged a silent 'good luck' as Team Chris left to select their props.
~X~
They decided on a Godzilla-esque scenario, with Owen playing the role of mutant monster terrorising Tokyo, only to be subdued by the candied fish tails. They were currently elsewhere in the cargo hold, Owen all dressed up and ready to go (it was Izzy's request to make him the beast) while Tyler and Noah set up the miniature city. Izzy was setting up the cameras as Alejandro sat in the director's chair. He tried a single one of the fish tails, and instantly he spat it out.
The Psycho Hose Beast jumped back to avoid the mess, and looked at her team leader in worry. "You okay, Alejandro?"
The Spaniard wiped his mouth and gagged. "Never have I eaten something so horrible in my life! Like rotten fish intestine with a side order of fermented squid and dirty hockey equipment." He gave her a shocked look. "How could you have all survived that man's cooking for two seasons?"
Izzy shrugged as she moved on to adjusting the lights. "I guess it was the thought of 'Take it or starve'. After a while, you just get used to it. The taste becomes commonplace and you don't have to worry about it as much." She paused. "Although you always gotta make sure it doesn't bite ya'."
Alejandro gave her a comically horrified expression, before recovering and giving her a neutral look. "I see. Well, thank you for the warning, Izzy. That is… greatly appreciated."
"No problem!" Izzy flashed a sweet smile before returning to her task at hand. As she worked, Owen tried practising what he thought was a 'Monster Stomping', which was disturbing the model buildings. Izzy rolled her eyes with a smile as she walked over and joined up with Eva, who was pushing some boxes around to make a sort of wall.
"How's it going with you, E?"
The Fitness Buff shrugged. "Fine. Just thinking if we'll get this down. I know Chef can be a very stubborn, picky person, so I feel like with Al's favouritism we could still lose."
That made Izzy pause. "Al's favouritism? What's that mean?"
"Noah told me before we got picked up to go to the airport. Basically, when he was Chris' assistant, he said he had 'big plans' for Al. So Chris is definitely banking on him going far, if not a finalist."
"So… you and Noah think Chris will try and keep him in the game?"
Eva nodded. "Definitely. I mean, look at Heather back in season 1. She was saved so many times and got immunity so often that it felt almost rigged. And you know why."
Izzy looked off to the side, her mind piecing together what Eva was getting at. "So you're saying… Chris made the show in favour of Heather after the merge?"
"Think of it like plot armour, at least that's what Noah told me." The Fitness Buff lifted a crate with ease. "Could've been the producers too. We all know Action wasn't the most popular, and Noah said he heard a call between Chris and the producers once that said Action's lower ratings were because there wasn't any sort of 'Heather', considering the witch wasn't as bad that season."
"And that's someone who can play the long game and manipulate themselves to the finals…" The Psycho Hose Beast discreetly looked at Alejandro, who was overseeing the last bit of setup. "So all of us were just a means to an end for him, huh?"
"Yeah. I'd talk to Noah about it, he gets it a lot better than I do."
Izzy nodded and the two girls resumed their work, making sure they didn't accidentally spill the beans about their conversation in front of their team 'leader'. After it was all set up, everyone sans Alejandro and Owen put on bulky army helmets, and with a call of "ACTION!" from the Spaniard, they played out the commercial. It was a bit sloppy, but they were working with little time, so no extra takes really could happen.
After they were finished filming, Chris called over the PA that there were five minutes left. Noah offered to do the last little bit of editing before submitting it while the rest of the team headed back to first class to watch all three finished products. It was a silent walk, and when they made it back all of Team Victory was there and only half of Team Amazon.
Izzy rose an eyebrow at Courtney, Gwen and Heather, silently wondering where the rest of their team was, only for them to rush in seconds later. Merida looked nervous, like their submission was rushed last second. Considering it was only half their team, she could understand why.
Chris walked in shortly after, sporting an exciting grin as he stood next to the TV.
"Alright, now that you're done filming", the host began, "It's time to see if your hard work has paid off! Chef?"
"No budget, no ad agency ripoff cheese ball cheap show…" The cook muttered as he held up the remote.
"Up first, Team Chris Really Really Really Hot with… 'Monster Ramage'!"
Chef turned the TV on, and Team Chris's ad played out in full. Despite being made on a time crunch and with minimal materials, it wasn't half bad. Got the point across, and made the… Fish tails… look enjoyable.
"Up next, Team Victory with… 'A Samurai's Lament'."
The next commercial played out, and Izzy had to admit it was very well made. Unnecessarily depressing, but the sepia filter and set design was honestly really good. The redhead was both unsure and impressed, which was definitely… a very weird thing to feel.
"Yeah… that was… interesting", the host said in an unsure tone. Team Victory bickered amongst themselves quietly, with Harold attempting to justify his direction only to be shut up by Chris. "Next up, the Amazons!"
The three TD heavyweights shared unsure glances, and Courtney spoke up. "Chris, as the leader of Team Amazon, it falls to me to tell you that our team didn't-"
"Come up with an amazing title for our awesome commercial!" Cody interjected, with an ecstatic Sierra and weary Merida backing him up.
"We have a commercial?" Gwen asked. She flinched back when Merida hissed a sharp "You're welcome", just barely loud enough for Izzy to hear.
"Let's just call it… 'Huh?'" Cody finished.
Izzy scratched the back of her neck and faced the screen as the commercial played out. And to say the least… It was a complete mess. Random things were just happening with no rhyme or reason, flashing colours, nonsensical lyrics, the whole kettle of chaos. Izzy looked at Merida with wide eyes, and even the princess looked shocked at the finished product, even though she was in it.
When the commercial ended, everyone sans Cody and Sierra were all in gobsmacked silence. They all stared at the blank screen with wide eyes, not sure if they all just had a crazed fever dream or not.
Chris blinked and shook his head. "Ooooooo…kaaaaaaaaayyyyy… Well Chef?"
The cook, who also wasn't left floored from the last commercial, put on a thoughtful look. "Chris, I think I gotta go with Team Amazon." The called team cheered in victory. "I don't know, I just love exploding donuts."
Team Chris deflated, kinda peeved their earlier advantage meant nothing in the end.
"Congratulations Team Amazon. But Chef, I also have to know…" The host plastered a grin on his face. "Who bit the biggest."
Izzy tensed slightly, but became relieved when Chef pointed at the team already down a player. "Um, those guys, with that, uh, sad donkey thing? You lose! You're sending someone home! Tonight!"
"I put a panda in intensive care, then I choked and wrecked our ad… and we lose again?!" DJ whined.
"Wait, it's not a reward?!" Leshawna complained.
"Well, I'm sure enjoying it", Chris said smugly. "Now, Team Victory, figure out who you're booting off. Everyone else, the day's over, so enjoy your safety." Team Victory slumped down in defeat, with Harold looking especially downtrottened. Team Amazon made a move to get comfortable again, only for Chris to say something else. "Oh, and Izzy? Merida?" Both redheads' eyes widened. "I need to talk to you two." The host left First Class and towards the cockpit, stopping at the doorway and nodding his head.
Both girls silently followed after him, and stopped in front of him as he stood between both chairs.
"So, I know about that little… side gig you guys did back before we got to Egypt", Chris began.
"Merida just… Wanted more control of the song", Izzy said. "But it was my idea."
"Hang on, I'm not mad. In fact, I'm impressed. I caught the footage of you two talking about your musical chops, and after seeing your songs, I get it."
"Soooooo… Neither of us are disqualified?" The Dun Broch Princess said in doubt.
"Correctamondo, Merry", the host said, Merida's face bl;using in a mix of embarrassment and anger. "In fact, I got a call from the producers while you were all making your commercials that thanks to your songs, our ratings are through the roof! So they told me to tell you that you can do your own songs whenever you want, as long as it doesn't derail another song unless everyone gets in on it."
The two redheads nod.
"Oh, and Izzy…"
The Psycho Hose Beast flinched.
"I saw the phone in the footage." His glare shifted into a look of indifference. "You can keep it. I know you're not dumb enough to run up your phone bill, so as long as you use it only for music, you can keep it."
"You got it, Chris", Izzy said with a salute.
"Cool. Now scram, me and Chef have to get ready for the elimination ceremony." With that, the host shooed them off, and pushed both redheads out into the little hallway that connected the cockpit, Chris' quarters and First Class.
"So… That happened", Merida said with an owlish blink.
"That was us getting let off easy", Izzy said in surprise. "I knew Chris loved ratings, but that… Wow."
"Talk about lucky." The princess glanced at her friend. "Glad he's letting you hang on to the phone?""
Izzy nodded and pulled the device out. "Very much, yes. Actually… I should…" She shot a thumb over her shoulder.
Merida chuckled. "Go on, Iz. I'll tell you more about the disaster of a commercial we made later."
"Yeah. See ya', Merry." Izzy dashed away, quickly making her way into the cargo hold. She glanced around and darted behind some boxes, out of the line of sight of any camera. When she felt like she was totally alone, she slid down and opened the group chat. But before she started texting, she read the conversation that started earlier today…
~
RockinStar: I'm just saying, dudes. We need to support Izzy and Merida anyway we can.
PopSmarts_Lover07: Even if it means directly messing with the game? Big, fat NO. First, that'd just be suspicious. Two, unless everything is a robot in some way, me and Who can't do anything.
EleventhHour: As much as I admire your selflessness, Corey, there's a limit on how much we can do.
FlowerMan: Limits, shimits.
Scrap_Princess: Maybe… Maybe we could send a care package?
ImGonnaWreckIt: I wouldn't be opposed to that.
XJ9: That sounds good.
ImaginationKid: Guys, no. We'll support them by cheering for them. They can handle themselves without us babysitting them like this is their first time doing… anything, really.
RockinStar: Fine. Still, I wish we could do a bit more.
EleventhHour: We'll just have to wait and see…
~
The more Izzy read, the more she felt oddly homesick. She just wished she could open a portal, go to the castle, and enjoy everyone's company. She didn't want to deal with Chris, Chef, Heather, Alejandro, Sierra or anything this stupid show had planned for her.
Shaking her head, she scrolled to the bottom of the text and started typing.
~
WildChild666: Hey guys!
ImaginationKid: Hey, Iz! Just me, Maria and Manolo right now.
WildChild666: Where'd everyone else run off to?
MariaSanchez: Bed. It was a long day for all of us, so only some of the group could stay awake just enough to watch the episode.
ManoloSanchez: I will say, you've been getting used to your new team well, Izzy. I was half expecting you to have pushed Tyler out at this point.
WildChild666: I'm crazy, but not psychotic. He's a good guy.
MariaSanchez: I also want to add that Majima was very much offended with this episode, but was so tired he didn't have the energy to swear. He looked drunk, it was hilarious.
WildChild666: Dang it! Can't believe I missed it!
ImaginationKid: Don't worry, I recorded it and saved it to show you and Merry later. Maybe on a break day or something.
ManoloSanchez: He did make it very clear that if he could be there, the plane would be nothing but scrap.
WildChild666: I don't blame him. Whenever they talked about game shows or Chef's candy, I felt like shrivelling up and dying of cringe because I was offended for Majima's sake. Although I also thought about laughing because of how stereotypical the names sounded.
ImaginationKid: Yeah, Majima's probably gonna sit us all down at some point and have a lesson on Japanese culture.
MariaSanchez: Looking forward to that. Btw, Izzy, after the challenge, what did Chris want to talk to you and Merida about?
WildChild666: Just that we can keep up our singing and I can keep the phone for music only. Luckily he doesn't know about this.
ManoloSanchez: That's relieving. I was worried you'd be left with no way to contact us.
WildChild666: I was too, but here we are!
ImaginationKid: Yeah, thank goodness. Well, we've got a bit of a mess to clean up here, so we'll either chat later or after your next challenge, Iz.
WildChild666: Okay. Love ya' guys!!!
~
Izzy shut off her phone and stuck it back in her pocket, breathing out a sigh of relief as she leaned against the crate she ducked behind. It was so hard knowing she could visit them whenever she wanted, but couldn't during the show. It was agonising.
But, she swallowed that feeling down and stood back up, heading out to hopefully find Merida so the princess could give the full story to that complete trip of a commercial.
~
(Confessional - How to piss off a Yakuza thug 101)
Izzy - "So, am I disappointed my team lost? Yes. Am I happy Merida won? Also yes. It's a weird middle ground to be in, honestly, but as long as my team avoids elimination, we're good."
The Psycho Hose Beast looked to the side in thought. "Although what Eva told me earlier, with Alejandro using all of us as a means to an end… I don't like it. It makes me feel expendable. It makes me feel… fake…" Izzy spaced out, and for the rest of the confessional she was silently staring out the window.
~
Merida - The princess moaned as the camera cut on. "Making that commercial was one of, if not the most embarrassing things ever. The others are never going to let me hear the end of it." She huffed and crossed her arms. "But, it got us the win in the end. We seriously needed that, after the three headed hydra walked out on us."
She glared into the camera. "Seriously, if those three don't stop, I will snap at some point and pile drive all of them six feet under. And I know how to, my friend Dry taught me the best way to do it."
~X~
And thus, Japan has been conquered! Fun fact, I thought the Yukon was next, hence the wrong 'Up Next' last chapter till I realised my error. And it's all because, outside of the commercial Cody and Sierra made, this episode always escapes my memory.
Yes, that includes Harold's elimination. It just… this episode is just… there for me. The song is lame, the pinball stuff is meh, and the commercial stuff feels a bit undercooked.
But otherwise, it gave me a chance to have a more character focused chapter, with a bit before and after the episode proper exclusively for development. It was really fun.
anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this amazing and beefy chapter of this DCT follow up!
Up next: Izzy faces the frozen wasteland of the Yukon, the bleak white landscape showing her how… How wrong everything is.
~Caleb~
