Part 7:
Itachi was inconsolable after his outburst. Despite having the strength to catapult himself across his office to stop Sasuke in his tracks, the man could not do anything other than sink to his knees after.
His entire body shook vigorously, giving the outward appearance of a deranged psych ward patient off of his meds. It was bad enough he was hysterical and spouting nonsense, but the dread in Itachi's otherwise hollow eyes caused a pang to echo in the boy's chest.
"I was wrong!" the man sobbed with his head bowed. His palms covered his face as tears squeezed past the crevices of his fingers and stained the back of his palms. "Don't leave me, Otouto! Don't leave me!"
"H-hey! Itachi! Why are you like this? Snap out of it!"
"Otouto! Otouto! Please don't leave me! I won't survive! I won't!" Itachi's words grew incoherent the more hysterical he became, and he began to lose sight of his thoughts and feelings. "I can't do this again. It was so hard the first time. I-Impossible. Do you have any idea what it was like to see you lying on the ground like that? Blood… so much blood. There was s-so much blood. Oh God. Why did you h-have to-"
"Just shut up for a second and come back to me!" Sasuke yelled, hands clasped tightly on the man's shoulders. Sometime during the interaction, he had managed to trap Itachi's quivering thighs with the weight of his body and looped his arms around his waist.
Sasuke must have known that Itachi was an absolute wreck, saw that he was an absolute wreck, because Itachi was now cocooned in an embrace with the boy in his lap yet again. Instead of circling his arms around the boy's warmth, Itachi's hands came up to tug at his own locks as he spiraled into a weeping mess.
Hyperventilation rose in his chest like a tsunami coming down on a small village, crashing into senses ruthlessly. It was so incredibly overwhelming that his eyes and head tucked toward his chest as if he didn't even notice Sasuke's presence. It was near impossible to feel his Otouto's weight on him because the haunting memories that played like a movie before his flickering eyes plagued his body and turned it stone cold. Cold like the unfeeling dead.
"Y-you left m-me. You left m-me all a-alone! How c-could you do that t-to m-me? I-I tried so hard to be good. I told you… I begged you to open your eyes…." Both of his palms covered his face as endless tears streamed down his flushed cheeks.
"'Tachi. Breathe. Just breathe-"
"You never w-woke up. Didn't y-you hear me calling you?! You said you'd be okay. You promised. How could you do that to Aniki?! Aniki missed you so much. A-Aniki couldn't handle life without you, not a single second without you. You didn't- I can't-"
Itachi's wheezing words were cut short when he felt hands on his wrists, wrenching them away from his face. All of a sudden, he felt a soft, cozy, and very familiar warmth against his lips, siphoning off any other words that wanted to bleed through his vocal chords.
Itachi's eyes flared wide open, staring blatantly at Sasuke's face, which was so incredibly close to his that he just went brain dead. Those beautiful, twinkling black gems were squeezed tightly shut and the grip on his wrists midair did not loosen even a bit.
A fire lit inside him, seemingly beginning at his lips, and spread throughout his body, warming up the icy trenches of his being. Itachi was so caught off guard, so mesmerized, so taken with Sasuke's initiation of a kiss, that he stared stupidly at his Otouto's beautiful face until it was too late to reciprocate and the boy had opened his eyes and pulled away.
Itachi's hands were released and they fell into his lap as if they were dead weight. His dumbfounded eyes were now fixed on the boy's reddened face as he brought two fingers to press against his tingling lips, where the slight wetness of Sasuke's saliva lingered.
"You were hyperventilating. I couldn't think of another way to divert your attention."
His beautiful Otouto cleared his throat and averted his gaze. Awkwardly, he began to heave himself off of Itachi's lap, but the man hastily clutched onto his hips and, much to Sasuke's surprise, dragged him back. "No. Don't," Itachi whispered, voice hoarse. He could feel the salty wetness against his cheeks start to cake.
"We're in the middle of your office. We need to get up."
"Stay." Itachi's fingers flexed over the boy's hips possessively.
It was as if the raging storm inside of him was suddenly swept away by an overpowering bright light whose rays destroyed the madness in one beam.
"O-Okay. I just…"
Aww, his Otouto thought he needed to justify why he kissed Itachi when, in fact, every fiber of his being belonged to the boy the moment he was born. Itachi didn't care why he kissed him. Only that he did.
H.J.
Sasuke could do nothing, but stare at his hands, which began playing with the hem of his shirt. They grew clammier with each second of silence underneath his Boss's piercing stare.
Sasuke winced, unable to meet the man's eyes.
Was Itachi mad?
He never meant to do such an outlandish thing, but the man's anxiety and panic had carried over and affected his emotions. Therefore, he panicked, too, and did the only thing he could think of at that exact moment to stop the man from his hysterical rambling.
When Itachi had anxiety attacks in the past, an embrace was more than enough to comfort and calm him, but this time around, it did nothing. However, given the circumstances and the accompanying reaction, it didn't come as a surprise.
"I'm sorry," Sasuke whispered when Itachi didn't make a peep.
"Don't apologize."
Shit.
Sasuke bit the inside of his cheek and refused to look up. He shouldn't have made decisions so impulsively like that. Itachi sounded aggravated, angry even.
"Sasuke. Look at me."
"I'm s-sorry," he repeated hurriedly, refusing to budge.
Sasuke jerked in surprise when he felt strong fingers tilt his chin up, so that he was at eye level with his boss. The boy swallowed hard. Was he about to face the wrath that had so many company employees shuddering at their knees?
"You never have to apologize for that. You can kiss me whenever you want."
Sasuke's face turned beet red. "W-What?" he stuttered. "Also, that wasn't a kiss! It was- it was a… a… a mouth hug," Sasuke said lamely, feeling his face burn further with embarrassment.
"Mhmm. My heart is still hammering painfully in my chest. You will need to mouth hug me again then."
Sasuke's breath hitched in his throat, and he stared wide-eyed at the man gazing intently at him without a single ounce of humor. "What? Why? You- You're okay now, right? I think you stopped panic-"
"No," the man interrupted. "I'm not okay. I was never okay, Sasuke."
Sasuke chewed on his bottom lip as his gaze darted in thought. He didn't have much time though, because Itachi's lips were on his again, but this time, they were moving against his. His lips were slightly parted, firm and strong against Sasuke's, and immediately, it felt like Sasuke's life force was being coaxed out of him.
"Nngh," he moaned, palms pressed flat against the man's chest. Rather than pushing Itachi away, they simply rested on the man's torso, and he found his lips slowly moving against the man's.
"Good boy."
Sasuke felt the vibration of those two whispered words in his core. They slithered their way past his lips and melded with his body, causing him to shudder in Itachi's embrace.
There was something about those two words that made him feel strange. Yet, in that very moment, he could not identify why it bothered him so. Like there was an itch at the back of his brain he needed to scratch, but could not reach.
Sasuke did not know how long he was roped into such a manner of comfort, but before he knew it, he was shoving at the man's chest for air. Itachi must have been dazed or something, because Sasuke was able to shove himself off the man's lap and out of his grasp.
The boy scrambled onto his feet and stumbled back against the door, a perplexed expression evident on his face. His chest heaved dramatically and his pupils were surely dilated in the strangest of ways. His body should not have gone crazy like that with a kiss. A mouth hug. Or whatever that was.
"I'm going to take my break," he muttered quickly, weaseling out the door and shutting it before Itachi could get a word in. He began speed walking to the elevator, only stopping short when it dinged and he ran straight into Neji of all people.
"Oof. Careful there," he heard the baritone voice say kindly.
"Sorry," the boy muttered, willing himself to take deep breaths to calm down.
"You're running out of there like your pants caught on fire. Is Itachi bullying you, Sasuke?"
"What-"
His statement stuttered to a halt when Sasuke's vision was suddenly blocked. A palm had slithered over his eyes from behind, pressing his body back toward a large, sturdy chest. Itachi's, no doubt. His hands reached up to grasp onto the fingers concealing his vision, but the man did not budge. Sasuke ended up resting his hands there in resignation.
"Stop trying to brainwash my Sasuke."
Itachi's growl reverberated along his spine, and due to his post-kiss haze, it did weird things to Sasuke's insides. He frowned, hands falling to his side to swat behind him at Itachi, who was being quite rude.
Sasuke felt Itachi still for a split second, but he had a hard time guessing what his reaction was to his subordinate swatting at him when Itachi refused to remove his hand from his eyes and forehead. It was as if he was trying to erase Neji from his vision.
"Says the five-year-old kid throwing a tantrum."
"Fuck off."
Neji ignored the remark with ease.
"I came by to drop off your scarf, Sasuke. You left it at the diner during lunch. I'll leave it on your desk since this behemoth is playing peek-a-boo, okay?"
Sasuke found himself nodding, but when no footsteps were heard, his head cocked in curiosity.
"Everything okay?"
"Absolutely. You can't see it, but Itachi's flipping me off. I think I might be a bit traumatized, because I surely don't want him fucking me."
Sasuke choked on his own spit, eyes widening behind the palm holding steady over his eyes.
Wow….
They really didn't like each other.
"We're done here," Itachi said through gritted teeth.
"We sure are." Neji clicked his tongue, set the scarf on Sasuke's desk, and the elevator dinged and closed, signaling his departure.
Immediately after, Sasuke's vision retired and he was turned around to face his boss.
"He was the one you had lunch with?" The man's face was still slightly pink from exertion, and his hair looked slightly mussed, but other than that, he clearly did not even bother to hide the distaste in his tone as he shot daggers over Sasuke's shoulders at the elevator.
"Haa…" Sasuke felt his headache make its way toward his temple. "'Tachi, it's not–"
"What's wrong?"
Itachi's tone instantly shifted into that of overwhelming concern as he stared down at Sasuke, and it was then that the boy realized he'd been rubbing his temple. His boss reached out to encase his hand with his own, bringing them both to his chest to squeeze gently.
Sasuke fought the flames that attempted to erupt over his cheeks, and that, in itself, was an immediate battle lost. "Nothing much," he muttered. "I've just been having a bit of a headache for the last few hours. It's not a big deal. It will go away soon."
"Since when?" Itachi demanded again, seemingly panicking , which caused Sasuke to look at him funny.
"Since I woke up this morning."
For some reason, Sasuke felt like he was receiving an incredulous glare from Itachi, and it made him shrink back slightly. "'Tachi?" he hesitantly inquired.
"Why didn't you say anything?" Itachi demanded as he began to tug Sasuke toward his desk. "Grab your things. We're going home."
"What?" Sasuke spilled out, astonished. "What do you mean we're going home? Hey, 'Tachi! Stop dragging me around. I said it's no big deal."
Sasuke crashed into the man's large back with an 'oof' and skidded to a complete halt. He rubbed his face this time as he regained his composure from the impact, and next thing he knew, his bands were being brushed and held back and Itachi's forehead was pressed firmly against his own.
A gasp left his suddenly parched lips, and Sasuke froze completely. He was afraid that, if he whispered anything or moved, another mouth hug would occur or he'd embarrass himself more. so he remained as still as a statue until Itachi withdrew slightly and gave him an admonishing look.
"I thought you were warm earlier because of our kiss, but you're even warmer now. I'm taking you home, Sasuke."
Sasuke frowned and opened his mouth to interject.
"If you say, no, I'm going to pick you up and carry you in my arms princess-style until we get to the car."
Sasuke's mouth hung open. Unable to rebuke the outrageous statement and in his flabbergasted state, he accepted his bag, which was handed over to him and continued to be rendered speechless as he watched Itachi toss his scarf in the nearby trash can without a second thought.
"I'll buy you a new one," the man muttered as he pressed his palm against Sasuke's lower back and guided him into the elevator.
Somehow, Sasuke managed to find his voice when he was buckled into the passenger seat of Itachi's car. He turned to look at his boss and weakly said, "But what about work?"
This time, Itachi outright looked at him like he was stupid. "You're more important than work, Sasuke."
H.J.
Itachi had been right. It was a fever. Nothing that would cause Sasuke to be hospitalized or burn away his brain cells, but definitely enough to cause quite a bit of discomfort, which was why, after the initial prognosis, Itachi made the boy take a cool shower. As disgruntled as he was, he did as he was told, and when he was done, he padded downstairs with his fluffy robe wrapped around his lean frame.
"I'm not hungry, 'Achi," Sasuke mumbled as he approached, tilting his head when he noticed that Itachi stopped stirring the porridge immediately after his statement.
"What did you just call me?" Itachi asked, and Sasuke needed to tune in closely to his whisper to make sense of his words.
"Hmm? 'Tachi?" The man turned around too quickly for Sasuke not to think anything of it. "Is there something wrong?"
"You said Achi. You called me Achi," Itachi stated rapidly.
Sasuke rubbed his eyes, feeling tired and drowsy. "Did I? Maybe I was mumbling and it just came out that way." Sasuke cocked his head. "Ahhh-cheee," he tried out. "Achi… it sounds cute. I like it. Can I call you Achi?" A soft grin glowed on the boy's countenance.
Itachi's heart stuttered, skipped a beat, and melted all at the same time. "Mochiron, Sasuke," Itachi replied, reaching out to ruffle his spikes.
Instead of ducking away from that large, warm hand, Sasuke found himself nuzzling against it while the grin on his face grew wider. He stifled a yawn. "I feel sleepy," he said.
'That's because, every time you get sick, it zaps all of your energy, and then you sleep for hours or even a day at a time.'
That's what Itachi wanted to tell Sasuke, but he bit his lip and refrained from doing so. "I made porridge. Eat some first so you can take your medicine and get some sleep."
The boy nodded and made his way to one of the chairs. "I thought you didn't know how to cook," Sasuke murmured as he accepted a bowl.
"That's true," Itachi murmured, head bowing slightly as a gloomy look creeped onto his features. "This is one of the exceptions. I learned how to cook porridge years ago. My Otouto would get sick often, so what kind of Aniki would I be if I didn't know how to make him soup when he was sick?"
"Mhmm," Sasuke hummed around a spoonful of rice porridge. "He was lucky to have you."
"I was the lucky one."
Somewhere down the line, Itachi found himself sitting next to Sasuke and caressing his hair gently, smoothing back his unruly raven spikes as he watched him eat.
Maybe it was the fact that Sasuke was sick and wanted to be spoiled, or maybe it was the sense of comfort he received from such an affectionate gesture, but either way, the boy didn't say anything about it and neither did Itachi. When he was done, he swallowed the medicine and Itachi tucked him into bed and sat by his side until he fell asleep.
H.J.
The lights were so merry and bright.
Sasuke loved being able to taste Christmas on his tongue, feel the crisp air in his lungs, and bathe in the love in the air. As he stepped out of the store and onto the street, he tilted his head heavenward. Light, fluffy pillows of snow dusted his cheeks, and he found himself smiling as he stuffed his hands inside his coat pockets.
It was officially Christmas Eve, one of the busiest times in the district. As he watched cars and pedestrians scatter around at the last minute, he was glad that he had ordered his gift ahead of time.
His hand clutched onto the little black velvet box in his pocket as he began making his way down to the bakery. They were supposed to meet there to pick out a Christmas cake, and then head home to have dinner and celebrate together.
A goofy smile overtook his face as he pressed the crosswalk button. It flashed green a few seconds later, but Sasuke could not have taken more than four steps onto the street, when a driver who tried to make the light swerved at the intersection, turned, and slammed right into him as if he was invisible.
Thump. Thump.
The hollow sound reverberated twice into the atmosphere, one for each set of wheels, forcing everyone within the vicinity to freeze in their tracks and stare at the scene unfold.
Everything went black.
When he came to, there were muffled voices nearby. Sasuke's hands felt wet. He tried lifting one up and opening his eyes to chance a glance, but both tasks were incredibly hard to accomplish. When he was able to peel his eyes open, a flicker of red filled his vision.
Blood.
Anxiety bled into him almost instantly.
Shit.
The box.
His arms flailed, grabbing around for the little velvet box until he realized he hadn't let go of it and was still fisting it.
The blood trickling down his arm would stain the box, but for some reason, he could not let go of the tight grip he had on it, as if he was protecting it with his life. His vision began to blur wildly, and he had a hard time understanding any words that were thrown at him. All he knew was there were a lot of people talking.
Why was his head and body aching so badly anyway when he was just fine a few seconds ago? Even his vision had blurred so excessively that he needed to close his eyes or else suffer from insane vertigo.
What was going on?
Somewhere in the near distance, he heard his name being screamed. The unknown man: the partner in his dreams whose face he could never remember- was calling for him. Sasuke opened his mouth to respond, but not a single muscle around his mouth moved.
It felt like he was laying in a pile of goo. It felt wet and sticky and uncomfortable underneath him. He wanted to go home, but his body didn't want to move.
Sasuke began to panic, but his tears remained stuck inside his brain. He suddenly felt so cold, colder than he had ever felt in his entire life. Colder than the snow that dusted his cheeks. Colder than the AC on a summer day.
Where was the love of his life, the rightful owner of what laid inside the velvet box he was guarding with his life? He needed him. He needed to hear his voice, feel his warmth, and be by his side.
Sasuke could hear someone sobbing his name for the last few minutes. Someone had grasped onto his hand just as tightly as Sasuke was holding onto the little box, and he just knew it was him.
Sasuke wanted to return the touch, but his fingers weren't listening to him and neither were his eyes. His hand shook as he unfurled his hand from the gift and splayed open his fingers to present it to the man.
He didn't know what was going on, but he was so proud of himself for keeping it safe and for delivering it into the hands of its rightful owner.
A few seconds later, that same voice that called out to him was sobbing hysterically over his body. For some reason, he knew exactly what he said without having to hear and understand it all.
"Wake up, Sasuke! It's me. I'm here now! Everything's going to be okay. You're going to be okay. I love you. I love you so much. Don't leave me, okay? Please don't leave me. It's too soon for this. I-I can't live without you. You know that. Please open your eyes. Stay with me. Look at me. You can't give me something like this and say nothing. Sasuke!"
The man's hysterical sobs did not cease.
His mouth tasted funny- wet, yet drier than the Sahara. "S-so…rry… next life…time… I- find… y-you… l-love y-you… so…."
"No! Not next lifetime!" the man screeched. "This lifetime! Stay with me in this lifetime. Don't leave me, Sasuke!"
Sasuke was jostled awake by a soothing voice murmuring his name. His body jerked from the sudden change in environment, and he turned left and right to discern what was happening. He was still in bed, but he was no longer in a robe and Itachi was hugging him to his chest, cocooning him in a safe bundle.
"Shh. Shh. It's okay, baby. It's okay," Itachi murmured, rubbing a soothing flat palm down his back repeatedly. "Shhh. I'm here. It's okay. Don't cry, Sasuke."
He was crying?
Sasuke reached up to swipe at his cheeks and, sure enough, they were damp with tears.
"You had a bad dream," Itachi explained. "Your fever has gone down though. Everything's okay."
A sob and whimper racked Sasuke's body. "I dreamt that I d-died, Achi," he croaked, burying his face in Itachi's chest and holding onto his shirt for dear life. "I got h-hit by a car and someone was y-yelling my name, but I-I couldn't see their face. I couldn't see anything."
The strokes on his back ceased, but Sasuke was too distraught to even notice.
"There w-was someone I loved, and I-I bought them a gift. I was able to give it to them b-before I died, but after I g-gave it to them, they c-couldn't s-stop… c-crying." Sasuke released another sob as if recounting the story was slicing through his soul.
He felt Itachi's hands tighten around his trembling body.
"What was the gift?" he asked quietly.
"I-It was a r-ring."
"…I see."
Itachi's voice sounded different to Sasuke, but when the boy tried to peer up to look at him, he was coddled against the man's embrace.
"Achi…?"
"… I'm sure that gift made him very happy, Sasuke."
"Then why did he cry?" Sasuke said with a sniffle.
"Maybe he felt incredibly honored and loved because he received such a gift from you, but the circumstances were too tragic for him to relish in it. You hadn't even opened your mouth to ask him to spend the rest of his life with you yet, and yours was already gone. It's… cruel ."
Sasuke felt, rather than saw, the swallow Itachi took as if he was pushing down and digesting something unpleasant.
"Mn. I don't know why, but I could tell he really loved me," he mumbled, laying his cheek on Itachi's chest. "All I know is he made me feel loved."
Itachi was silent, and Sasuke didn't expect an answer this time around, so he allowed the silence to carry them into the evening until he, eventually, dozed off again, comforted by the warmth that was so incredibly familiar beside him.
