MATURE/POTENTIALLY TRIGGERING CONTENT WARNING!
(Also, for story-telling purposes, this chapter will jump between points of view, but it will only be for this chapter and not those going forward.)
Days passed after Sakura and the prince returned to his manor in the Winterlands. Being back in the familiar environment helped the woman stomach more food, but it did little to aid in ridding of the nightmares filled with dark green eyes, blood-red hair, blazing pain, and terror.
It was only a few days after their return that the ache between her legs faded. She kept telling herself that these awful feelings of disgust and hate would go away if she suffered them long enough, but it wasn't helping. The physical pain was the only thing that disappeared. The mental remained strong and steadfast.
Everything Sakura thought she knew about her life had been turned upside down, including her plans for the future. When her father told her to properly play her role as a wife when consummating her marriage to the prince, she'd stupidly agreed because she didn't know what the word meant. Now that she does, she couldn't sort her hysteric thoughts out enough to come up with a plan.
'I have to tell him that I am not pure,' she agonized while staring out the window of her room at the falling snow, feeling cold, sad, and helpless.
Their wedding date was soon to be decided, and when that day came, Sasuke would find out anyway. Sakura didn't think she'd be able to take it if he discovered that she was a whore then, after all the time and effort, so she told herself she had to come clean, but couldn't work up the courage.
'He'll be rid of me,' she wiped at her watery eyes, 'It'd have all been for nothing because he won't care about me anymore, so his curse won't even lift.' Sakura looked down at her legs, recalling the bloody mess that'd coated them the morning after Hihara's visit.
Her lips moved with a thought she didn't even fully comprehend until the words met the air, "If I'm going to die a useless death anyway, why am I even here?"
The tears in her eyes became thicker and fell more quickly because she knew she was right, no matter how hard the pill was to swallow. Whether she died today, next week, or on their wedding night, the outcome would be the same. She'd be dead, Sasuke would be cursed, and it'd all be her fault for being an idiot and allowing what Hihara did to happen.
'I have no purpose in life now. I can't be a wife because of my tainted blood. I can't be a mother because you need to be a wife to do that. I have no talent to provide for myself,' Sakura rose to her feet, trudging dazedly toward the door, 'If I keep living, all I'll be doing is wasting Sasuke's resources and taking up space.'
She padded barefoot downstairs and into the kitchen as though hypnotized by her own thoughts. 'All of this pain will go away, too, so it won't be that bad, right? Maybe I'll be sent to purgatory and meet Akuma if Sasuke someday manages to send him back. …What a reunion that would be.'
A few staff members gave her curious glances as she passed by, but she ignored them, not mentally capable of paying them any mind. When she grabbed a knife from the silverware drawer, she was taken from her trance by Ino's familiar voice. Swiftly, Sakura slid the knife up her arm sleeve and turned in time to see the blond enter the room.
"Lady Haruno, what are you doing here? I've been looking all over for you. It's time to wash up for lunch."
"Right," she said, glancing around to ensure none of the others would give away that she'd stashed a knife.
She received a few quizzical brows, but nothing more, so she followed her maid back upstairs to the bedroom where her clothes were changed, her hair was elegantly styled, and a small bit of makeup was applied to her face. In a moment when Ino wasn't looking, Sakura slid the weapon between the mattress and boxspring.
The prince did his best not to stare at her during lunch. If her life wasn't in shambles, Sakura would appreciate his attempt at being considerate. 'This will be the last time I see him,' she thought while glancing at his handsome face.
Before she could stop herself, she said, "Thank you for showing me such kindness," out loud.
Sasuke met her gaze with a silent question that she ignored, looking at her plate again. She did all she could not to cry. The only thing she had to mourn with her decision was that she'd no longer get to be in his calming presence, and she was no longer useful to him.
'If he knew, he wouldn't be worried about me,' she swallowed the lump in her throat, blinking quickly, 'I really am disgusting, sitting before him as a fraud.' Sasuke tried to speak to her after lunch, but she quickly excused herself because her composure was falling fast.
By the time she made it to her room, her breath was ragged, and her face was wet with salty tears. Her hands shook so badly that it was hard to lock the door and pull the knife from beneath the bed. At the last moment, Sakura hesitated, looking at her sad reflection on the blade. Her voice croaked out between sobs as she entered the bathroom, "I-I'm sorry, Lord Sasuke."
Sasuke paced in the dining room. Just now, during lunch, Sakura behaved even stranger than lately's usual. She actually looked at him, for one, but she also spoke without having to be first addressed. It was what he'd hoped for for over a week now, but for some reason, it felt incredibly wrong. All of it. Everything in his blood was saying not to let her out of his sight, but he couldn't justifiably demand such a thing without a better reason than a gut feeling.
"My Lord," a raspy female voice broke his agonizing.
He turned to see one of the kitchen staff members, a middle-aged woman he believed was named Tachibana, standing there with a serious frown. She looked unsure, but she still bowed, whispering while glancing in the direction of the staircase, "I apologize if this is out of line, but I'm concerned for Our Lady's safety."
The prince faced her fully, more alert due to her words, "Continue."
"Earlier, before the meal, a few of us saw her take…um…." "What did she take? Tell me." That terrible feeling was growing substantially with each passing moment.
Tachibana covered her mouth with her fingertips, shaking her head with watery eyes, "A knife. She took a knife, but you don't think she'd-!" Before he could fully comprehend what was likely about to happen, the Uchiha man ran for the stairs. His senses were going crazy, the panic rising when he made it to the second floor to see Maid Ino attempting to enter Sakura's bedroom and failing because the door was locked.
'Please don't be what I think it'll be!'
"Move!" He barked at the bewildered blonde woman. Once she was out of the way, he banged on the door, "Lady Sakura, open the door!"
He put his ear to the wall and tried to bate his breath. After a second, the soft sound of sniffling met his comprehension and he cursed under his breath before taking a few steps back and throwing all of his weight against the door. It bursted open, the door frame's wood chipping in the process, but Sasuke couldn't care less. Dark eyes scanned the room before landing on the cracked bathroom door.
"I'm coming in!" He yelled as he approached. The sound of Ino and some other staff came behind him, obviously beginning to piece together what was happening. 'Don't let fear get in the way. She needs someone strong right now,' he told himself when he hesitated at the door.
The air in Sasuke's lungs evaporated when he opened the bathroom door to see his fiance laying on her side, pink hair loose and messy on the tile. He saw the blood and then he was at her side, fumbling to turn her onto her back. Sakura's face was as pale as it was flushed because she'd been crying. Her midsection was drenched in blood.
"Sakura…." He breathed, searching for the source of the blood. 'Wrists, no. Arms, no. Neck, no. Stomach….'
Obviously, the situation was life or death, so etiquette and rules were out the window. Almost frantically, the prince tore Sakura's dress from where she'd stabbed through to see a single, deep wound in her lower abdomen, below her navel.
Ino gasped in the doorway, tears in her eyes. Sasuke barked at her without looking away from the pinkette's face, "Get me healing potions. Now!" The few women in the room disappeared to follow orders, leaving Sasuke with the bleeding woman.
He couldn't help himself, then, and a bit of his frustration slipped out. He nearly spat at her with how angry he was, how close he was to shouting at her, "Why? Why do this!"
The woman blinked slowly, the corner of her lips turning up into a bitter smile. She weakly responded, "I can't break your curse."
He stopped trying to put pressure on the wound and stared with wide eyes, "...What?"
She gestured with heavy movements, her hands landing loudly on the tile when she couldn't bear to lift them anymore, "You'll never care enough about someone like me now."
Unbelievable ire flooded the prince and he grabbed her shoulders, coming to glare right into her eyes. His voice was low and dangerous, "You do not get to decide that on your own, Sakura."
A familiar dullness met her eyes, and his anger turned to ice. He shakily cupped her cheeks, gaze dancing over her face and down to her bloodied midsection. "Heal it…" he breathed out. She didn't respond in any way. Sasuke shook her once, "Do it! Heal yourself like you did in the forest." Quiet.
This time, Sasuke didn't bite back what he truly wanted to say because there might not be another chance. He squeezed his eyes closed and pressed his forehead to hers, hissing almost inaudibly, "Please stay alive, Sakura. I'm not ready for this."
'If this is what has to happen to someone to be rid of The Curse. I don't know if I'm capable of going through with it.'
A gasp came from the doorway, causing the man's eyes to open. He pulled away to see the three maids had returned with health potions, but they were staring in awe. Sasuke followed their gazes to his fiance, a sigh of relief passing his lips when he saw that same faint green glow emitting from the stab wound. Sakura's green eyes were still half-lidded and unfocused on the ceiling, but her chest was moving ever so slowly with breath.
He held out a hand toward the doorway, gaze not leaving her, "She's healing."
A glass vial met his skin and he uncapped it before straddling the woman's hips and lifting her chin. He glared angrily while pouring the potion into her mouth, "We need to talk."
Sakura's eyes shot open. She gasped, hands fumbling down to feel for where she'd stabbed herself, only to run her fingers across a thin scar.
"My Lady," Ino's voice was soft and sad.
The pinkette turned her head to see the maid sitting bedside with tears in her pretty blue eyes. She paled, realizing what'd happened, "...I-I'm alive…."
The blond nodded, sniffling with a frown. She glanced toward the closed bedroom door before leaning forward and whispering as her crying picked up, "Why would you hurt yourself like that, Sakura?" The Haruno woman's mouth clamped shut, her chin quivering as the memories of Sasuke finding her in the bathroom resurfaced. Ino asked in a borderline hysterical voice, "Are you so unhappy living here that you'd take your own life? If there is something I can do to make things better, please tell me because I can't bear to see something like this again!"
"No! No, living here has made me happier than I've ever been in my life!" Sakura winced at the pain in her midsection but managed to sit up, making soothing gestures with her hands.
"Really?"
Sakura nodded, wiping at her own tears, "Yes."
Ino hesitantly grabbed the woman's hands in her own, shaking her head, "Then why would you…?"
The Haruno woman had no choice but to confide in someone since her attempt of dealing with the situation alone failed. She glanced at the doorway to verify once more that it was still closed and they were alone. Then she lowered her head and voice so only Ino could hear, "I was…um…."
Slowly, understanding began to meet Ino's face, and then she was sobbing, trying to deny the truth, "It can't be true!"
Sakura told Ino only parts of what happened, leaving out that she knew the person who'd done it and where the event took place because her family and the Uchiha's could be negatively affected if the truth were revealed. When she was done, Ino climbed onto the bed and guided her to lay her head on her lap, where she soothed her hair and spoke reassuringly, "Oh, Sakura, I'm so sorry this happened to you. No one deserves to go through something so terrible."
The feeling of being comforted was foreign to the pinkette, but she immediately liked it. Slowly, she began to relax into the position, letting her tears fall slowly and naturally. 'It feels good to tell someone about it. I might be able to stomach this if I'm not alone.'
"And you're wrong," Ino said.
Sakura focused again on her words.
"Lord Sasuke would never blame you or find you disgusting. You are not ruined, and you are definitely still deserving of kindness and care."
"...Do you really think so?" Sakura mumbled, still unsure because just over a week ago she had no idea what sex even was, much less the intricacies of inter-personal relationships involving such things.
"I know so," the blonde replied. The room became quiet and comfortable for a while before she broke it, "As much as you want to keep this a secret, we should at least have a doctor come look you over."
The pink-haired woman sat up, wiping at the last of her tears while nodding, "Yes. I understand."
"And Lord Sasuke should be notified, as well."
Sakura's nods turned into shakes, "I-I don't think I-" "I can tell him everything if you're scared, Sakura." Her lips became a soft smile when the Haruno girl gave her wide eyes of disbelief, "It's okay to rely on friends when times are hard."
Slowly, she gave in, her shoulders slumping, 'There's no other choice. He's going to find out no matter what I do to prevent it.'
