Disclaimer: I only own my OCs
A/N: Please be aware that there are spoilers for the Sopranos in this chapter! This is one that I have done a huge rewrite for so I hope you all like it! I have tried to show how complicated Alexa's feelings are towards the Nolan's deaths. I also couldn't resist a lot of Damon/Alexa interaction in this, which should keep you going until they get together ;)
XXX
I must have fallen asleep sometime during the night because when I woke up, I was lying on Damon's bed. Yeah, you read that right, his bed. Don't know why I was on his bed, but for some reason, I was.
Not that I'm complaining or anything. A bed's a bed, no matter who it belongs to. And Damon had a damn fine bed. He had his satin sheets out again and I enjoyed the feel of them against my skin. I was still wearing my dress for the pageant. Including my bra, which felt uber uncomfortable. Sleeping a bra was definitely not a good idea.
I just hoped that I didn't have any nightmares during the night. The bed next to me looked tidy, but that didn't mean that Damon didn't sleep there. He could have slept on top of the blanket or just tidied it up when he got out of bed. It probably should have bothered me, at least a little bit, that I shared a bed with Damon. I mean, what if I drooled during the night? But it felt oddly comforting.
I glanced around the room. It looked the same as always. Freakishly tidy and actually rather nice. I had always liked Damon's room. I don't know why, I just had. It was just… I dunno, clean? Like it was quite a calming room, which sounds weird, I know. I just, I liked being in here.
But anyways, I could see the sun shining around the edges of the curtain. Daytime already? Huh, wonder how long I was asleep for.
The last thing that I remembered was Damon sliding his arm around my shoulders, allowing me to snuggle into the side of his firm chest. My sister's soft eyes had glanced over before returning to stare at the cell door. I still had Damon's jacket covering my shoulders, which the vampire tightened around me, before he began stroking the soft skin of my wrist. Now, I know that you are judging me right now, but just remember, I am a very touchy-feely person. Ok?
Good, let's not forget that. Because touching helped, it grounded me. And hopefully it prevented any nightmares from occurring. My sister still didn't know about them and I wasn't particularly keen for Damon to find out either.
As I settled further under the blanket, I knew that I should probably get out of bed and go downstairs. Hell, I knew that I should probably just move full stop. Get out of the bed. Anything. I just really could not be bothered. Not only was movement just too much effort, the bed was too nice and warm and comfy and it smelt nice. Whatever detergent Damon used smelt amazing and when you mixed that in with Damon's own smell, well, it made it hard to actually leave the bed.
I had just curled the covers tighter around me when the door to the room opened. Uh oh. Not good. They're gonna make me get out of bed.
I kept my eyes closed and pretended that I was still alseep. I did not want to get up. Not at all. Especially since getting up meant facing what happened yesterday. It wouldn't have surprised me if my sister was still down in the basement, staring at the cell door. I know that the revelation that Stefan was drinking human blood haunted her. Especially after seeing him munch on poor Amber. I know that my idiot sister blamed herself for this whole thing. Which was stupid. Because it was my fault. It was just another consequence of me forcing the Bennett witches to lower the seal. Ugh, the hits just keep on coming.
Footsteps echoed around the room as the interrupter of sleep moved towards the window. It wasn't until the curtains went flying open that the meanie's intentions hit me.
Now, in my defence, I was always a bit slow in the mornings. Well, I say slow, I should probably say slower. Especially when I was unused to getting so much sleep. Even though it was a late night, I still managed to sleep more than I had the past three days combined. With the nightmares, I was lucky to get three hours a night. But I had definitely managed to get a helluva lot more than that last night.
The moment the light hit my face, I groaned loudly and burrowed under the covers. Nasty sunlight. Nasty nasty sunlight. Evil sunlight. It sucked, especially just after you woke up.
"Good, you're awake."
Of course it would be Damon. Who else would it be? Who else would be evil enough? Well, Elena is actually evil enough to do that to me, but that's not the point. It made sense that it would be Damon considering it was his room. Ellie would have been the only other possibility but I just knew she would be down in the basement.
The other side of the bed dipped down as the nasty person sat down next to me. Y'know, I swear Damon has some sort of obsession with waking me up before I wanna get up. He always does it. And it was uber unfair as I had only woken him up once.
I had considered hiding under the blanket until the vampire had vacated the room but a tug on the top of the blanket had me rethinking that idea. So I moved the duvet so that just the top of my head was visible, my eyes blinking in the sunlight as they adjusted to the sudden influx of light.
I glared at the Salvatore; eyes narrowed. Whether they were narrowed in anger or to avoid the sunlight, I do not know. It was probably a mixture of both.
"I took the liberty of carrying you to bed last night," Damon remarked casually, ice blue eyes glancing down at me. Well, at least that confirmed what I had been thinking.
"And why did you put me in your bed?" I asked, frowning slightly. Not that I was complaining, I just knew that there were several other bedrooms in the Boarding House. So why did he pick his?
"Do I need to have a reason?"
"Yes."
"Tough."
I scowled at the vampire before rolling my eyes and pulling the covers back over my head. Yeah, whatcha gonna do now? Hmm, that's what I thought. I'm gonna get some more sleep. Sleeping was a luxury these days, even more so than it used to be. So I took any opportunity that I could to get more of it. Especially since it seemed that my nightmares had faded for now.
Mmmmmm, more sleep.
But a hand stopped the blanket. Ugh, that was so not fair. Just let me sleep. I sighed and turned my head to look at Damon.
"Damon," I sighed out his name. "Please let me go back to sleep?"
The vampire shook his head, a slightly regretful look in his eyes, "You've been asleep for long enough. If you're good, then I'll let you nap later."
I considered that. It sounded like a good deal in theory. And he was right, as much as I was reluctant to admit. Walking around would do some good. And I could get this dress off too.
"Okay," I eventually sighed, meeting the vampire's gaze. "I'll get up. But on one condition," I paused to add a bit of drama, Damon didn't disappoint as he sighed and rolled his eyes, "You make me breakfast."
Damon paused at that, almost as though he wasn't expecting it. I could understand why. I normally fought everyone who tried to take cooking rights from me. And I could be a real stubborn bitch when I wanted to be. So asking Damon to cook for me? That was huge thing.
I think he also expected me to make some Stefan related demand. Like I wanted to see him or something. Don't get me wrong, I did want to see Stefan. But I just… couldn't right now. The guilt that I felt was rearing its ugly head. He wouldn't have been in this position if it weren't for me.
"Deal," Damon agreed as I shoved the blanket off. As I stood up, I enjoyed a stretch, the sound of my joints popping filling the room.
"Ugh that felt good," I smiled lazily as I relaxed. It did feel good. And that meant that I actually had good nights sleep. Which was definitely good shit.
Damon rolled his eyes but I could see a smile tugging at his lips, "Get yourself tidied up and I'll do breakfast."
"Sweet," I looked around the room, especially the shower, before glancing down at my clothes. "I don't suppose you have something I can change into?"
Damon's expression turned thoughtful before he sighed, "I'll find you something."
Before I could say anything else, the vampire disappeared from my sight. I sighed and shrugged, heading into the bathroom. Alright then. If that's how he wanted to play it. At least I would be able to get out of this dress. That was the main thing.
I went to go brush my teeth but paused, did I really want to run the risk of getting toothpaste on my lovely dress? Nope. So I looked around the room and grabbed a nearby towel. I was lucky that Damon was incredibly high-maintenance as he has a gorgeous fluffy towel that was huge. I shimmied out of my dress and wrapped the towel around me. Normally I would have just stayed in my bra and panties but I didn't know if Damon would make another appearance. And him seeing me in my undies? Lol nope, that would be far too awkward.
Since I was last here, Damon had acquired a toothbrush and toothpaste. Which was handy. They were unopened and unused, which made me think who Damon had got them for. But I pushed that thought out of my mind for the time being.
It never ceased to amaze me how lovely it felt after brushing my teeth. Especially since I had fallen asleep last night without brushing them, or even using mouthwash. So I enjoyed running my tongue over my freshly cleaned teeth. Ugh, that right there was the good shit.
While I waited for Damon to reappear with some clothes, as I knew he was bound to do, I washed off my makeup from yesterday. Even without the shower, I was feeling better already. It was amazing what a couple of simple things could do.
"You're making yourself at home then."
I gasped and shot around before rolling my eyes at Damon's smirk, "If you didn't want people to make themselves at home then you shouldn't have such an amazing bathroom."
I finished my point with a raised eyebrow and crossed arms.
Damon just continued smirking before gesturing behind him, "I couldn't find you anything so just grab one of my shirts. Elena called Jenna who said she will bring some clothes over for you both."
"Oh sweet," I grinned. Not only did I get the chance to go through Damon's wardrobe, Jenna bringing us clothes meant that we would be staying here longer. Not only did that mean spending more time with my friend, I would also be able to avoid Uncle John. Apparently he was still pushing for us kids to be indoctrinated in the vampire hating family legacy. So spending some time away from him would actually be a good thing.
Damon returned my smile with one of his own, an unusual look in his eye, before he disappeared from the room.
"Thanks Damon!" I shouted out before turning on the shower. As I waited for the temperature to adjust to what I wanted, I placed the towel to the side and shed my undies. I placed them on the counter before climbing on.
Oh god, this shower was definitely as good as it looked. The pressure was perfect as was the temperature. I definitely spent far too long in there, washing my hair and just enjoying the warmth. It wasn't until my fingertips started to prune that I reluctantly turned off the water and climbed out.
I shivered in the cool air and quickly wrapped the towel around me, enjoying its warmth. I dried my body before grabbing another towel to do my hair. As I did so, I took the chance to do a bit more exploring. Damon had given me permission to go through his clothes to find something to wear. And I was super excited to do so. Damon's little cupboard had always been locked when I came to prowl and reorganised. But now, I was finally allowed to go in there.
And, not gonna lie, it was a little bit disappointing. There wasn't anything fun in here so I just had to resort to going through the clothes. And let's see, black shirt, black shirt, oh another black shirt! Wow. How boring. Eventually I just grabbed a random shirt out, and yes, it was black, and shrugged it on.
Fortunately my hair was short enough that I was able to dry it well enough with the towel, so I didn't have to worry about it dripping down my neck. I adjusted my strapless bra so that it wasn't digging into me and gathered up my dress. I had taken off my jewellery last night, while Elena was vervaining her boyfriend, so I didn't have to worry about that.
Right, time for food.
XXX
The cool air of the Boarding House brushed around my bare legs as I made my way down to the kitchen. As I approached, I could hear Damon humming along to the radio as something sizzled. I paused just outside the door and peeked round. I had to hide my smile as I saw Damon bop along to the music. I had never seen him like this, so carefree. He always had some kind of shield up, even if it wasn't as high when it was just me and him. But it was nice, seeing him like this. I just wished that I could see it more often.
After a few more minutes watching, I sighed and entered the kitchen. As much as I wanted to enjoy the sight, I knew that Damon would soon get suspicious and come looking for me.
"Smells good," I smiled as Damon turned around when I entered. I had to resist the urge to blush as his eyes glanced up and down my body. I couldn't recognise the look on his face but it made me feel all hot and bothered. As Damon turned back around to the stove, I quickly tugged on the edges of the shirt, urging it lower. Unfortunately it held firm at mid-thigh. Well, at least it was something, I guess.
I took a seat at the table before turning in the chair to watch Damon cook. There was bacon sizzling on the frying pan as he tossed pancakes over another. Just the smells had my mouth watering. It wasn't often that I let someone cook for me. But I was glad that I let Damon do it this time. Not even Luke had cooked for me, even when we were just friends.
Damon was no longer dancing to the music but it still played in the background. Apparently they were doing old-school tunes this morning as the voice of Bob Dylan crooned in the background. It felt oddly domestic. Not that I would ever say it out loud. Damon didn't do domestic. And I didn't want to ruin the moment.
I smiled up at Damon as he placed a plate down in front of me. It was piled high with pancakes, soaked in maple syrup, with a stack of bacon on top. The vampire nodded in return as he sat opposite me with a plate of his own.
Damon opened the newspaper as I asked, "Where's Elena?"
The vampire rolled his eyes as he answered, "She grabbed a bowl of something before returning down to stare at the door."
"Oh," I sighed before rolling my own eyes. I definitely needed to have words with my sister. It wasn't healthy for her to be down in that basement all the time. But those words could wait until after I had eaten my pancakes and bacon.
I shouldn't have been surprised by how lovely they were. I mean, Damon had been around long enough that he should be a pretty decent cook. But even still, they were a lot better than I expected. The bacon was perfectly crisp and the pancakes light and fluffy.
As I ate, I saw Damon glance up from the newspaper every now and then. I didn't know what he was looking for, but each time he glanced back down looking satisfied. I just shrugged and carried on eating. The only thing I stopped for was a sip of my coffee. It tasted different to what I had last time. This one was richer and deeper. This, this was damn good coffee.
I offered to washup when we were both done. It was, again, oddly domestic. Damon even dried up! Once we were done, Damon kindly made me another coffee. But not from the pot in the cupboard. No, this was from a different one. He was being all sneaky about it so I made a mental note to follow up on it later.
We retreated to the library, where the fire was crackling happily, much to my relief. I quickly curled up on the sofa and enjoyed the heat the fire put out. A blanket soon blocked my view and I glanced up to see Damon draping it over me. The thick wool felt nice as I pulled it up under my chin. I mumbled out a small thank you, my cheeks blushing like mad, and Damon gave a soft nod in return.
He sat down next to me and grabbed a book from the coffee table. As Damon read next to me, I dozed off, the combined heat of the fire and blanket reminding me that sleep was still needed. It was weird, but I dreamt that Damon tucked the blanket tighter around me at one point before he continued to read his book. Honestly, my imagination and crush can put out some crazy ideas.
We remained like that for a while, just enjoying the peace and quiet while my sister brooded over her boyfriend. I would go down there eventually, to drag her back to the land of the sane. But for now, I would let her brood in peace.
Jenna arrived around lunchtime. She had a frustrated look on her face with Jeremy trailing behind her. The doorbell had woken me up, much to Damon's amusement. The noise had fortunately coincided with the beginning of a nightmare, waking me up before it could get worse. But unfortunately, I had woken up with a jolt.
Damon had chuckled on his way to let them in. I shot him a dirty look before making sure that my legs were perfectly covered. The last thing I needed was for Jenna to get the wrong idea in her head. She already suspected that I felt something for Damon and had teased me about it on occasion. I did not need her to see me in just his shirt.
"Uncle John?" I asked my aunt as Damon disappeared downstairs to get my sister.
Jer snorted, earning himself a dirty look, "Who else would it be?"
"What did he do this time?" I asked Jenna as she slumped down next to me.
"What hasn't he done?" she countered, rolling her eyes as I patted her knee. "The insufferable ass has not shut up since he arrived. And he is doubly pissed that I know the truth about the family secret." Jenna faked a shocked gasp. "How dare an outsider know the secret!"
I couldn't help but laugh at the look on her face. John better watch out or Jenna would kill him. And he wouldn't be able to come back from that death.
All our eyes were drawn to the door as my sister finally made an appearance, Damon close behind her. When Elena called Jenna this morning, to ask her to bring some clothes for us both, apparently she had also told her about the Stefan dilemma.
"How's Stefan?" my aunt asked softly as she gestured for Ellie to join us on the couch. Jeremy had taken up residence on one of the chairs while Damon took the other.
"Not good," my twin sighed as she slumped down. Jenna quickly pulled her into her side and soothed her curly hair back. "He's still out of it from the vervain."
"He'll be fine," Jenna was quick to reassure Elena. "We just need to get the human blood out of his system and then he'll get back to his usual self."
"Just with some extra guilt and broodiness," I muttered quietly, earning a snort from Damon.
"How long will that take?" my brother piped up, looking at Damon. "For the human blood to leave his system."
"Well," Damon was slow to respond. "It shouldn't take more than a few days really, especially with the vervain keeping him weak."
I stared at Damon. It was easy to see that the situation was affecting him. Anyone who said that he didn't love his brother was obviously blind and deaf. You could hear with every word how much this situation was hurting him too. He tried to hide but I knew him well enough at this point that I could see it.
"See?" my aunt tapped my sister's hand. "It shouldn't take that long."
"This shouldn't be happening at all," Elena began, her soft eyes wide and watery, but I quickly cut her off.
"Don't think like that," I warned her, leaning forward slightly to give my twin a look. "Shit happens and we just have to deal with it and pick ourselves up."
"That's very poetic, Alexa," Jeremy snorted as he shared a look with Jenna.
"It's true though," I countered with a role of my eyes. "There's no point playing the blame game when it comes to vampire shit." I paused before adding, "No offence, Damon."
The vampire snorted out a "none taken" as I paused to consider whether I should take my own advice. All I do is blame myself. And there was a lot to blame myself for. Bonnie's Gram's death, the death of the Nolan's, Stefan being tortured and gorging on human blood. I had no idea what I was causing when I demanded they lower the seal. And how could I? But it still happened. I just had to wonder how long I would blame myself for it.
XXX
Jenna and Jeremy stayed for dinner that night. Apparently neither of them were in a rush to get home, especially with Uncle John lurking around. Damon had ordered takeout from the Thai place that was relatively close to the Boarding House.
When Jenna went to answer the door, Damon quickly grabbed me some leggings to stick on. While my brother rolled his eyes and gossiped with my sister, I quickly pulled them on and pretended nothing had happened when my aunt returned with the food.
I had a portion of Pad Thai all to myself, which I enjoyed immensely. The place Damon had ordered from was the best Thai place in town. Definitely my preferred go to, even if it was a bit further away from my home.
Jenna drove them home after a long goodbye. It took all of us to reassure her that we would be fine here. I even cracked a funny by saying that she would be the one we should we worrying about, since her and John were beefing. My aunt didn't appreciate that too much but I think it helped to reassure her that we would be just fine.
Family plus Damon time had helped keep Ellie's mind off of her boyfriend trapped in the basement. But once Jenna and Jer had left, my idiot sister had started getting restless. Damon had disappeared down there every now and then, to dose his brother up on vervain and to check that it was actually working.
"How's Stefan?" my sister finally asked, interrupting a debate between me and Damon. We were discussing which Godfather movie was better, one or two. I was a firm believer that the first one was better, despite popular belief. Damon argued that the second one was definitely better. We did, however, agree that the third was the weakest of the trilogy.
"Completely out of it," Damon replied with a roll of his eyes.
"Well that sucks," I shared a look with my twin, who sighed sadly. "Does that mean I can go see him now?"
I went to stand up but a strong hand landed on my knee. Damon moved closer and caught my gaze.
"And where do you think you're going?" he asked with a stern look, keeping enough pressure on my knee that I couldn't get up.
"Uh, to see Stefan?" I replied, looking over at my sister for backup. But she, too, had a stern look on her face.
"Oh no, no, no," Damon shook his head fiercely, cutting through my protests. "You are not going anywhere near that cell until we are sure that Stefan is back to his annoying, normal, boring self."
"What? Why?" I was trying hard not to whine as that wouldn't help my argument that it was fine for me to go.
"Because it isn't safe for you down there," Damon replied with that odd look in his eye again. I had to look away to be able to keep protesting.
"Elena goes down there," I looked at my sister with wide eyes.
"I don't take stupid risks," my twin shot back, crossing her arms.
I snorted, "Uh, I beg to differ. You've become more and more reckless recently."
"That's different," Elena waved away my very valid point. "I just… I can't worry about you as well, Lexa."
I frowned and looked away. Damn, what was I supposed to say to that? I couldn't argue against that. Not properly. Ugh, stupid sister.
"Fine," I grouched, crossing my arms and slumping back. "But if he asks where I was, I am blaming you two and I will not feel guilty about that."
The two overprotective idiots acknowledged and accepted that. Damon even gave my knee a squeeze as he started talking to my twin. They were discussing the best ways to help Stefan. Ellie was full of questions on what she could do, how long it would take, what would be the long-term effect of what happened.
I just stared into the fire and wondered. I knew that this would make Stefan be a huge ball of guilt. And he didn't need help to do that. Every time something happened, Stefan felt guilty. And then he tended to pull away. Like with Lexi, when she died, he felt guilty that he didn't stop it and pulled away. And with Vicki, he felt guilty and pulled away. It was a known pattern of Stefan's and this time would only be worse. Because not only did he attack and nearly kill poor Amber, he had been lying about his behaviour for ages beforehand. He hadn't accepted that something was wrong and then he lost control.
My twin caught my attention as she sighed and climbed to her feet. She went to leave the room and I called out, causing her to pause, "Where you going, sis?"
Ellie turned back and gave me a small smile, "To bed, Alexa, you should probably do the same too."
I returned the smile with a shrug, "I will soon. Night twin."
"Night Lexa."
I watched as my sister left the room, exhaustion dodging her steps. It was clear to see how tired my sister was. And I only hoped that she got a better night's sleep tonight then she did the night before. My idiot twin had a habit of letting her own needs fall to the wayside if it meant looking after someone she cared about. And I had to make sure that didn't happen this time. Especially if she wanted to keep seeing Stefan. I needed to keep my sister safe and that meant making sure she got enough sleep and enough food.
Damon got up too, muttering something about cleaning up. He disappeared in the direction of the kitchen and I sighed. This sucked. Like all of it sucked. And I didn't know what to do about it. I couldn't fix this. The only thing that could was time. And I hated that so much because it was all my fault. I caused this. My actions all those weeks ago caused this to happen.
I sighed again and climbed to my feet. I knew that it wouldn't do anyone any good if I started wallowing. So I went in search of my overnight bag that Jenna had kindly brough over. I was hoping that she had brought my laptop over, at least that way I could watch something and take my mind off of it all. Luckily, my amazing aunt had.
I returned the library, laptop in hand, and reclaimed my place on the sofa. Damon still hadn't appeared but I could hear him puttering around the building, muttering to himself. Shrugging, I pulled the blanket over myself as I laid down, a cushion propping my head up. The lights had been dimmed earlier and I had turned off a couple of lamps, letting the fire light up the room.
Not only had Jenna brought my laptop, she had packed my Sopranos boxset. It was something that I had been watching with Luke. I had felt a bit wary watching it without him, but I knew that Luke would want me to finish the series.
Even though it was already late, I fought my way through a couple of episodes, viciously ignoring the tiredness creeping through my body. The yawns cracked my jaw as I rubbed my eyes. I knew that I should go to bed, but I was scared. I didn't want anymore nightmares. I hated them. I just wanted to be able to sleep without being scared. But I knew that wouldn't happen. Not yet.
I must have spent too long debating whether I should watch another episode as the next thing I was aware of was gentle hands removing the laptop from my lap. I grumbled as I was disturbed and fought to open my eyes. The fire had almost gone out, the few embers doing nothing to light up the room. A soft hand stroked my cheek as I was gently shushed. Arms carefully eased under my knees and around my back before I was lifted from the sofa. I knew who held me so I just relaxed into the body carrying me. I knew that Damon wouldn't drop me so I allowed myself to fall back into a doze. A few minutes later, soft sheets surrounded me and I curled into the warm body next to me.
XXX
I wasn't surprised to wake up in Damon's bed the next morning. While I didn't exactly remember how I got there, I did vaguely remember being carried somewhere. So I just sighed and got myself ready. Luckily, this time I had my own clothes to put on. And I could change my bra and panties. Because, yuck. I enjoyed Damon's shower again before I went through the clothes Jenna had brought for me. I was so thankful that my aunt knew me as well as she did. Jenna had packed several jumpers for me and a selection of my comfier jeans. I selected a deep green jumper that covered my hands and a pair of black jeans before I decided to search for the other occupants of the house.
Elena was in the kitchen this time, nursing a coffee at the dining table, as Damon sat reading the newspaper. After greeting the pair of them, I routed through the fridge before putting some toast on for myself. While I waited for my food, I made myself a coffee and immediately noticed the difference. This was the coffee that I had the first time that I was here. It sure as hell wasn't the good stuff that I had yesterday. Which meant that Damon hid his good coffee. I ignored the small voice in the back of my mind that said Damon willingly gave me his good coffee yesterday.
"So what's the plan for today?" I asked as I joined the others at the table with my coffee and toast.
Damon's eyes flickered up from his newspaper as my twin sighed, "Jenna said that she would let us take today off school on the condition we go tomorrow. So, I guess, we just continue looking after Stefan."
"How is he doing?" I noticed the dark circles under my sister's eyes and sighed to myself. Maybe I could get her to agree to take a nap this afternoon if I volunteered to look after Stefan while she did so.
"The same," Ellie replied, her tone despondent. "Damon gave him some more vervain this morning."
I nodded before pausing. Was it worth asking to see him again? Or would I just get shot down? Well, there was only one way to find out.
"Can I go see him today?" I looked at Damon for the answer.
He sighed and folded the newspaper away, "Yes, you can go see him. Elena and I are planning on heading down there a bit later."
"Good," I smiled, letting him see how grateful I was.
While we waited, I bullied my sister into actually eating something. At first Elena had insisted that she had eaten, until Damon snitched and revealed that she hadn't. While my twin was giving him a dirty look, I prepared some toast for her. If we were at home, then I would have done something else, but I didn't know where stuff was in this giant kitchen. So toast it was.
Ellie reluctantly ate but finished her plate under my watchful gaze. When she resisted, I had said that I wouldn't let her down to see Stefan unless she looked after herself. Elena didn't initially believe me but when Damon agreed, she grumbled and ate her toast.
Before we were allowed down, Damon insisted on going down first, to make sure that Stefan wasn't suddenly a threat. While he did his little mother-hen routine, I brushed my sister's hair. I think Ellie knew that I needed something to do, even if it was worrying over her, so she just let me. I braided her hair into a loose braid to the side and brushed it over her shoulder. My twin sighed and fiddled with the end.
I knew that she hated being separated from Stefan while he was in the state he was in. But she also needed to look after herself. Sometimes my idiot sister forgot that she actually needed food and sleep to survive. And while she could get that in the basement, I refused to let her spend all of her time down there.
Damon's reappearance had Elena shooting to her feet. She barely waited for his nod before she was pushing her way past him and hurrying down the stairs. I sighed as I watched her before I climbed to my feet. I could feel Damon's eyes on me as I walked forward. As I reached his side, the vampire reached out and placed a hand on my shoulder. I glanced up and met his gaze.
"If anything happens down there, I need you to promise that you will leave immediately," he said, his tone serious. I opened my mouth to speak but Damon interrupted. "Don't worry about Elena. I'll get her out, I just need to know that you get out too."
I couldn't help but smile at his concern, "I promise."
Damon nodded sharply, "Thank you."
He released my shoulder and I immediately missed the warmth of his hand. I gave him another quick smile before I followed my sister down the stairs.
I found Elena standing outside the cell door, gazing in sadly. I sighed and joined her at the door, looking in through the small window. Stefan looked like crap. There was no other way of putting it. He laid on the small camp bed that Damon had placed in the small cell. Sweat beaded on his forehead as his eyes flickered behind their lids. He groaned quietly and my sister flinched. I grabbed her hand, giving it a squeeze, receiving a thankful smile.
I heard movement behind me and glanced back. Damon leant against the wall, gazing past us to look at his brother. Ellie released my hand to rest hers against the door, almost as though she was holding Stefan. I sighed quietly and took a step back, so that I was standing next to Damon. I could feel his warmth through the thin shirt he wore and pondered. Damon had told me that as long as a vampire kept up a healthy diet of blood and coffee, their body functioned normally. Including keeping as warm as a normal human. It was still weird though, when he felt warm when I touched him.
Ellie's sad sigh drew me from my thoughts, "It's so hard to see him locked up like this."
My gaze flickered past her to Stefan. He groaned again as his fingers curled around the edge of the bed. His face screwed up in pain as he mumbled something that I couldn't hear.
"You're the one who locked him up," Damon rudely piped up.
I rolled my eyes as my sister turned around to give him a dirty look. She opened her mouth to retort, a slightly scary look in her eyes, and I held up my hand. She paused and glanced in my direction.
"Let me handle this, sis," I gave her a reassuring smile. "Go back to looking at your boy." Elena grumbled slightly but did as requested. I gave her a moment before turning to properly look at the vampire next to me, "Let's not forget that you helped her."
Damon rolled his eyes, "I couldn't have him running around chewing on people, could I?" Eh, he did have a point there. "Especially while the town was looking for vampires."
"Oh ho ho, and I suppose that it has nothing to do with the fact that you actually care about him?" I snorted with a shake of the head.
"Your thing," the vampire poked me in the tummy before turning to leave. "Not mine."
"Your thing, not mine," I mouthed mockingly as I followed the vampire from the basement. Before I left, I gave Elena a look, one that went unnoticed. I knew that she was safe down there, Damon wouldn't have let her stay if there was chance that she would be in danger. But it didn't stop me from worrying.
"What are you doing?" Damon asked, glancing over his shoulder at me.
"Nothing," I replied, smiling innocently, as I headed in the direction of the kitchen.
The vampire didn't look convinced.
XXX
I had searched the entire kitchen for the good coffee, but to no avail. Apparently, not only did Damon not share it, he also hid it. Which just meant that I wanted to find it even more. It wasn't in the kitchen, that was for sure. It wasn't even hidden in any of the cupboards. Which meant that it was somewhere else in this giant house. It was like looking for a needle in a haystack, which made me even more determined. It also helped me keep my mind off of everything. Which was another bonus.
So while Elena moped in the basement and Damon did… whatever it was that Damon did, I started my search. I tried to be logical about it and searched each room at a time. I went through all of the cupboards and tried not the get distracted by the various knick knacks that had been collected over the years. That was hard as there was some fascinating shit hidden away.
I managed to search three different rooms but wasn't successful. Damon sure had been crafty about where he had hidden it. Before I could continue my search, dinner time had arrived. So I instead had to drag my sister out of the basement to eat.
Considering there were two vampires living in the place, I really shouldn't have been surprised by the lack of cooking ingredients that were around. Luckily, I managed to dig out a couple of microwave meals from the freezer. Well, I say luckily, I did not approve of freezer meals like at all. But beggars couldn't be choosers. And there were mac 'n' cheese ones. So it could have been much worse.
I did Ellie's first and made sure that she ate while mine warmed up in the microwave. I joined her at the dining table, colas in hand for us both. Damon didn't join us and I didn't even know if he was still in the house. I assumed he was, since I didn't think he would leave us alone with his brother, even if he was vervained up to the eyeballs.
Elena tried to disappear back down to the basement once she had eaten. But I had guessed her intentions and blocked the kitchen door. Of course, Elena wasn't impressed with this and gave me one of her more severe looks. But I didn't budge.
"Look," I sighed, trying to be reasonable. "You can't spend all of your time down there. Go for a bath or something. Just… don't go back down there."
I was so close to persuading my sister so I pulled out my best pleading eyes. It took a few seconds but eventually my twin sighed and shook her head, "You're right. I just… I hate being away from him."
"I know, hon," I grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze. "But it's not healthy for you to spend all of your time down there."
Ellie nodded and I escorted her to the bottom of the stairs. She slowly made her way up them as I watched with cautious eyes. Despite her agreement, a part of me still expected her to bolt back down the stairs to the basement. But she didn't. I waited until she disappeared from view before sighing myself.
I knew that I should follow my own advice and go do something to get my mind off of the situation. But I couldn't. There were too many things to worry about and I couldn't stop them from spinning around my head.
So I retreated back to the library and returned to the position that I was in last night. I binged a couple more Sopranos episodes before I realised how late it had gotten. Despite being engrossed in the episodes, I had still kept an ear out just in case my sister decided to sneak back into the basement. Of course, I hadn't heard anything so I had hoped that she had fallen asleep somewhere.
I probably should have gone to sleep myself. But I just couldn't do it. So I put on another episode. And then another.
I watched the end credits roll with blurry eyes. I was so tired but I just didn't want to sleep. Maybe if I was absolutely exhausted then the nightmares wouldn't come. I stared at the screen as the menu music played. The words on the screen were blurry as my eyes refused to focus. I probably should have taken that as a sign to go to sleep but I had always been too stubborn for my own good.
I heard a sigh behind me before the laptop was taken away. A dark shape sat next to me as I tried to blink the blurriness away.
"You know, you should really be asleep right now," Damon scolded me gently as he helped me to my feet.
"Nah, I'm good," I slurred tiredly as I leant into his side.
Damon sighed again, "Yeah, you sound good. Why won't you go to sleep?"
"Need to make sure Ellie doesn't sneak back down into the basement," I lied, although, it wasn't entirely a lie. I did have to make sure that she didn't do that.
"Your sister is asleep in Stefan's room," Damon helped me up the stairs as the moon shone through the windows. "Now, let's get you to bed."
I shook my head, "Beds bad."
Damon paused at the top of the stairs before he carefully lifted me into his arms. I wrapped my arms around his neck and mumbled, "Please don't make me go to sleep."
Unfortunately, before I could hear Damon's response, sleep took me.
XXX
I poked my head around the front door of the Salvatore Boarding House.
Empty.
Perfect.
I looked behind me and gave Tyler the thumbs up. He grinned at me before driving off. I had managed to persuade him to drive me here during lunch. Elena had forced me to go to school today. I had argued that we could probably persuade Jenna to allow us to have more time off. But Elena had apparently taken my words last night to heart and had decided that she couldn't spend all her time down in the basement. Unfortunately for me, that meant going to school. But there was one good thing about Elena and I going to school, it meant that the house would be empty if Damon went out.
And guess what, Damon had gone out.
I quickly tiptoed through the house. I didn't know how long I had, so I had to be quick. Damon wouldn't be gone for long and I wanted to make sure that I had plenty of time to see Stefan and to get out again.
I made my way towards the basement and to the cell that currently housed Stefan. Peering through the door, I frowned sadly at the vampire's back. He still looked like crap. His white tank top was soaked through with sweat and he shivered slightly in the cool air of the basement. I didn't know whether it was because of the vervain or the fact he hadn't fed that was affecting him so much, but he looked truly awful.
"Stefan?" I asked quietly, wrapping my hands around the bars.
There was silence for a moment before Stefan stirred.
"Katherine?" Stefan slurred, falling onto his back and turning his head to look at me.
"No, Stefan, it's me, Alexa."
"A'exa?"
"Yeah, Stef," I sighed, regretting coming down here. "How ya doin'?"
Stefan just groaned and closed his eyes. I think that's the end of lucid Stefan. But I kept talking anyway.
"It's been weird without you Stefan. Especially staying here. Normally when I roam these halls, I have you around to keep an eye on me. And at school. But you're stuck in here. I know that Ellie's still upset that she had to resort to this. She misses you, she tries to hide it, but I know her too well. and she's not the only one. I miss you too Stefan. I'm sorry that this happened to you. It's my fault and I can't even make it right. But I promise, when you're back to normal, I will make it up to you. I don't know how yet, but I will."
I sighed and glanced at the time on my phone. I had been here far too long already. But it was worth it.
"I've gotta go now Stef, can't risk getting caught. Elena will probably kill me. Damon too."
No answer. I shook my head and shuffled towards the stairs, "Buh bye Stef, see you soon."
I slowly made my way upstairs. Just as I was about to walk into the hallway, I heard the front door open.
Shit.
Damon was back.
Not good. So not good.
I shot back down the stairs and made my way through the basement. It never ceased to amaze me just how big the basement was. And just like the rest of the house, it was so full of stuff. There were shelves everywhere just piled high of random crap. I even managed to find their fridge full of blood. Which was just yuck.
I ducked around a corner and hid, knocking the shelf next to me. Damon can't find me. He can't find me. He would kill me for being here by myself. My heart stopped when something fell from the shelf next to me. I watched with wide eyes as a can rolled off and clanged on the floor. My mind vaguely registered that it was a coffee can before I closed my eyes.
Please. Please. Please. Don't find me. Don't find me. Don't find me.
But alas, my prayers were not answered.
There was a sudden rush of air and I felt a presence in front of me. Oh crap. That's not good. I kept my eyes closed and held my breath.
"Alexa," a stern voice growled in front of me and I panicked.
I covered my face with my hands and played one of my oldest tricks, "You can't see me! I'm invisiblebleble!"
Silence greeted my statement. Haha. That worked so well. People were normally like WTF and I used the opportunity to escape. But unfortunately, Damon was not like normal people. And just as I was about to celebrate my victory, a strong hand pried my hands from my face.
I blinked innocently up at Damon's angry face as he ground out, "I thought that you were told that you weren't allowed down here."
"I'm not? That's news to me."
The vampire's hand took my arm in a firm grip and he pulled me through the basement.
"Look," I sighed as I allowed myself to be dragged. "I just wanted to check on Stefan. He's my friend and I feel guilty for what he is going through."
"Why do you feel guilty?" Damon asked as he glanced back.
Oh shit. I wasn't supposed to say that. Ah damn, think of an excuse, Alexa.
"Because I was too busy drinking to notice that something was wrong," I blurted out, trying to make it sound natural.
Damon sighed and paused at the bottom of the stairs, "Even if you did notice, there wasn't anything that you could have done."
I let the words sink in as I was guided up the stairs and into the parlour. Damon gently pushed me onto a sofa before wandering over to his booze table. I stared hard at the fire place as I pondered Damon's words. I mean, it wasn't the whole reason why I was feeling guilty. But it did feed into it. Was Damon right when he said that I wouldn't have been able to do anything? Or was he just trying to make me feel better?
"I've found your errant sister."
It took me a few seconds to realise that Damon was talking on the phone to my sister. My gaze switched to him as he wandered around the room.
"Don't worry, she's fine."
Of course I'm fine. I wasn't going to get hurt. Stefan was far too out of it to hurt me and anyways, I was more than capable of looking after myself.
"I'm just gonna keep her here, best way to keep her out of trouble."
Hey! Now that's just rude! I'm not that bad! My rep was completely undeserved, for once. I was more than capable of keeping out of trouble. In fact, Elena had proven that she was the one who got into trouble more often.
"So now what am I supposed to do?" I asked as Damon hung up the phone.
He rolled his eyes and shrugged, "I'm sure you'll find something to do to amuse yourself."
Before I could retort, the idiot disappeared from the room. Ugh, fine. Be that way. I'll find something to amuse myself. And, because I was a petty little bitch, the perfect idea came to me and I indulged it. I cast my gaze around the room to make sure the annoying vampire was definitely gone before smirking and standing up. I sauntered up the stairs and in the direction of Damon's bedroom.
Pulling out my phone, I dialled Tyler's number. I should probably tell him that I wasn't coming back to school today.
"Hey handsome, how ya doin'?"
Tyler laughed, "I'm doing just fine, gorgeous, how are you?"
"I'm feeling a bit annoyed, but other than that I'm alright."
"Why are you annoyed?"
"Damon caught me!"
"Aww, I feel so sorry for you."
"Oh do shut up."
By this point I had reached Damon's room. Right, what can I mess up? I started small. Moving knickknacks around, putting books in a different order. Those sorts of things. I had spent enough time here to know that Damon needed to have things in a certain order. And that he got touchy if something was moved.
"Alexa, I can practically hear the maniacal laughter from here, what are you doing?"
"Nothinggg.
"Alexa..."
"Oh alright, I'm messing up Damon's room."
"Why am I not surprised?"
"Because you know me well?"
"Oh I feel so sorry for me."
"Oh ha ha."
"You stealing some more soap?"
"Oh of course, it's amazing soap."
"Bells just gone, I've gotta go."
"Have fun at school."
"Have fun with Damon."
"Oh hush child."
"Bye Alex."
"Bye Ty."
I slipped my phone back into my pocket.
Right, bathroom time. Y'know, Damon has a helluva lot of liquid soap and bubble bath and hair care products. And soap bars. He was so high maintenance. But he did let me use it so I shouldn't complain too much.
Not a lot had changed since the last time I went out of my way to annoy Damon by messing things up. Although, he had replaced the stuff that I had stolen last time.
I amused myself by putting all his bottles out of order. It was such a simple thing but I knew how well it would get under his skin. Lol. I was just reaching towards the soap pot when a hand grabbed my wrist.
Uh oh.
"And what do you think you are doing, little Gilbert?"
"Nothing!"
"Are you stealing more of my soap?"
"Nope. Of course not."
It was safe to say that Damon didn't believe me.
The vampire sighed before picking me up and slinging me over his shoulder.
"Damon!" I shrieked in outrage as I clung onto his back. I told my crush to shut up and stop enjoying the view. "Put me down!"
"Nope," was the ass' reply.
I grumbled but didn't struggle. Damon wouldn't put me down until he was ready to. And I didn't want to run the risk of getting hurt. Because that was something that I would end up doing. I was taken to library and dumped onto the sofa.
"Has anyone ever told you that you act like a caveman?" I sarcastically queried as I made myself comfortable.
"And had anyone ever told you that you are incapable of listening to instructions?" Damon countered as he slumped down next to me.
"Y'know, I do believe that people have mentioned it once or twice."
"I'm not surprised."
I pulled a face at the vampire.
He was so rude.
XXX
The next few days passed the same way.
We checked on Stefan in the morning, had breakfast, went to school, died of boredom and then came home. I made Damon go food shopping so I prepared dinner most nights. I had even had a little helper in the form of the older Salvatore brother. Elena was getting better at moderating her Stefan time so I didn't need to worry about dragging her out of the basement.
Damon let me down there to see Stefan once a day. He said that it was so I didn't go sneaking down there myself but I knew that he was just being a softie. Damon hid that part of him well. It was just because I was getting to know him better that I saw it. Unlike others who just didn't want to see it. It was easier for them to believe that he was the 'bad brother' if they didn't see the soft side of him. And maybe that was why they didn't see it. Because he didn't let them. Sometimes it was easier to be hated than it was to be loved.
It had been going so well. Of course, I had fallen asleep on the sofa every night. Only to wake up when Damon carried me to bed. Well, to his bed. I had mumbled why, one night. How he always knew that I was asleep in the library and not one of the beds. He just answered with a "I can hear you whimpering in your sleep. You don't do that when you share a bed."
That had shut me up straight away. But he didn't confront me over it. And I wasn't forced to share the secret of my nightmares.
It wasn't until our sixth night there that it went to hell.
It was late at night, maybe even early the next morning. I had just finished the Sopranos episode where Ade died. And I was crying. That whole storyline with Ade had been painful to watch, but her death? Nah, that set me off. Not only was it a tragically young life lost, it was that Christopher betrayed her.
Normally I would just have teared up and brushed it off. But after losing Luke, it was hard seeing couples lose each other. Especially because of their own actions. It was my choice to lower the seal that lost me Luke. And I had to live with that.
I had pushed the laptop to the side and curled up into a ball, crying into my knees. I had tried to be quiet. The last thing I wanted was for Elena or Damon to hear me. But it was too late.
There was a rush of air and a gentle hand landed on my back. I didn't have to look to see that it was Damon. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and eased me into his side. The light from the laptop illuminated the room, casting an eerie glow.
Damon remained silent, waiting for me to say the first word. I knew that he would wait as long as he needed to. He had done this before, in the early days of my grieving.
"I never told Luke that I loved him," I whispered into the silence, letting those awful, ugly words out. Damon froze for a moment before his hand squeezed my shoulder. "I was too scared. And instead of being brave and confronting that fear, I've lost my chance forever."
"I'm sure he knew," Damon's voice was soft and calming. So different from the usual snark that it usually held. But this was a different Damon. This was my friend who had been there for me during one of my worst moments.
"I still should have told him," I sighed into Damon's chest. "He deserved that much. He was so patient with me and so lovely. And I got him killed."
"Hey," Damon gently grasped my chin and carefully tilted my head up so he could look me in the eye. "His death is not your fault."
"That's sweet of you to say," I smiled shakily. "But it is. It was my choices that led to it. I made Bonnie and Grams lower the seal on the tomb. That meant that vampires escaped. And then they killed the Nolan's. They captured and tortured Stefan, who ended up drinking human blood. All of it, it was my fault. I caused all of this."
Damon was silent for a moment, an odd look on his face, before he asked, "Do you regret it?"
My smile turned sad, "Not for a second. Because it would have meant that you were trapped in the tomb. And I couldn't let that happen. Because I promised you that you wouldn't be stuck in there. And because…" I hesitated before sighing, "You're my friend and I don't want to lose you."
Damon guided my head back against his chest so I couldn't see his face, "You had no idea that the witches would fail to put the seal back. Or that the tomb vampires would take Stefan or that the Nolan's would die. You cannot blame yourself for anyone of it. You can't see the future so you cannot and will not blame yourself."
It was exactly what I needed to hear. But that didn't mean that I was going to accept it.
"But all of that happened because of my choice, doesn't that mean that I am responsible for it?"
Damon sighed deeply before pulling me closer, "You made that choice out of friendship. And there was nothing wrong with that."
XXX
Damon had taken me to bed that night. It reminded me so much of the nights after I found Luke's body. Damon didn't leave my side and held me while I cried. But this time, it felt like a relief. Like I was reaching the other side of my grief. That I was starting to heal and move on.
I slept in late the next morning and took my time getting ready. After my confession last night, I was slightly reluctant to face the world. But eventually, I made my way downstairs.
I watched Damon as he studied the thing that Uncle John wanted.
"Hey, did you ever work out what that is?" I asked from where I was slouching on the chair in the library, the blanket over my legs despite the fire merrily crackling away.
"Nope," Damon replied, popping the 'p,' as he gave me the device to examine. "Whatever it is, it doesn't work."
"Pearl didn't say anything else about it?" Ellie asked as she folded all of our dirty laundry and made sure that everything was accounted for, including my laptop.
My darling twin had decided that me and her were gonna visit our house to get some clean clothes. I didn't want to go, but she was making me. She kept saying something about getting some distance between me and Damon. Her and Damon were sort of friends. But she still wasn't too keen on him. And that meant that she wanted to limit the amount of time that I spent with him. Especially after spending the past week at the Boarding House. Now that Stefan was slowly improving, even if he was refusing to feed, she had realised what had been happening the past few days. Including my growing bond with Damon.
"She thought she was stealing his vampire compass, but that was a pocket watch," the vampire answered with a shrug. "That Jonathon Gilbert was a crazy scientist."
"He's a Gilbert. We're all cray cray," I snorted, giving the device back.
Elena rolled her eyes at me. Y'know, people seem to do that a lot around me. It's like their default reaction.
"Have you spoken to your uncle lately?" Damon suddenly asked, stopping me from sticking my tongue out at my sister.
"Not since the night of the Miss Mystic pageant," I shrugged casually.
"I've been avoiding him," Ellie answered. Ah yes, she had. I'd been helping her, of course. Because I am such an amazing twin. "That and we've been here every night."
Hehe, we have. Damon hasn't been able to escape us. Elena had been sleeping in Stefan's room. But me, I've been sleeping everywhere and anywhere, especially during my afternoon naps. After falling asleep, I'd normally wake up in Damon's bedroom. Which was nice. And damn, stupid crush. But it was true. Despite his reputation, being around Damon had helped me recover and he was a really good friend.
"So, you'll be here again tonight?" Damon asked casually, glancing over at me.
"Is that a problem?" Ellie-Bear replied sassily, her hand on her hip.
Damon turned to look at us from where he had been facing the fire.
"Yes," he smirked, giving me a cheeky look. "Your twin sister is a complete nuisance."
"She is, isn't she?" Elena agreed with a nod.
"Hey!" I exclaimed, climbing to my feet and crossing my arms
Elena laughed, grabbing my arm, "See you later Damon. Come on Alexa."
"Bye Damon," I rolled my eyes. "See ya laterz."
XXX
It didn't take me long to pack a bag for the next few days. We didn't know how much longer we would be staying at the Boarding House, so I overpacked, just in case. I even added a few more DVD choices, just in case I finished the Sopranos.
Elena was the one who was taking the longest, for once.
I was lying on her bed while she showed the amazing talent to multi-task. She was on the phone to Damon and packing at the same time. She had put the phone on speakerphone and I had taken charge of it, much to Elena's annoyance as I took selfies while her and Damon spoke.
"What?" Damon answered. He is just so rude, isn't he?
"We're just grabbing some clothes," Elena answered, digging through her closet.
"And then we'll be there to annoy you again!" I added, pouting for the camera.
"How's Stefan?" twinnie asked, shaking her head at my comment.
"Extra broody. Hold on."
"Such a charming guy, isn't he?" I smirked as Damon went silent.
"Well, what can I say? He's the guy version of you," Ellie smirked at me, eyebrow raised.
I gaped at her. Shocked, offended and outraged. Right, that meant war.
"Oi! Take that back!"
"Nope."
I always knew that she was evil. And here was my proof.
"He won't eat anything," Damon said as he returned.
"Well, that's not good, he's gotta eat," I frowned, sharing a look with my mean sister.
"What's his favourite, uh, his favourite kind of, um," Elena stuttered out, unable to actually finished the sentence.
"His favourite kind of what?" Damon prompted helpfully.
"His favourite type of animal blood that he prefers?" Ellie finally asked, unable to back down from Damon's silent challenge.
"Ewwwww, gross."
"I hate to say it, but I agree with Damon. Ewwe," I mimed fake gagging, enjoying the annoyed look on my twin's face.
Elena glared at me as she said to Damon, "Your joking doesn't help."
"Helps me."
"And me."
"Alexa, shut up."
I gasped dramatically, "Rudeness."
"Hurry up you two. I can't babysit all night. I have things to do."
"I would say drop dead, but..." Elena smirked at me, looking to make amends for her mean comment.
I laughed happily, accepting the olive branch, "Excellent one, twinnie. Amazing comeback."
We air high-fived each other.
"Ha ha," the vampire deadpanned. No pun intended. "Stefan likes... puppy blood." I could hear the smirk in the vampire's voice. "Little golden retriever puppies with cute, floppy ears. That's his favourite."
"No! Damon! Don't say that!" I couldn't stop picturing the cute little puppies.
"He gets the munchies, that only puppies can satisfy."
"Damon! Noooo!"
"Damon, stop traumatising my sister," Elena sighed before she hung up on him.
"Damon's a meanie," I scowled, crossing my arms and vowing to protect all the puppies.
"Yeah, he is," my twin agreed as she crossed over to her wardrobe and closed the door. I was caught in my own thoughts when my sister gasped dramatically.
I shot up, turned around and fell off the bed. Um, ow. That hurt. I landed right on my elbow.
"Alexa, are you ok?" Elena called over.
"Just peachy," I groaned from the ground, rubbing my sore elbow. Why? Why did that always happen to me?
"Sorry," Uncle John's voice sounded around the room. "Didn't mean to make you jump."
Oh great, this guy. Ugh, what did he want now? I didn't have the energy to play referee between him and Ellie.
"I didn't see you there," Elena said accusingly as she made her way over to me and helped me to my feet. I patted her shoulder in thanks before cautiously watching my uncle.
"I thought that we could talk," Uncle John remarked as he walked into the room. God, he could have at least waited until one of us invited him into the room. Why is everyone so damn rude? "We haven't had a chance to catch up, Elena."
I knew that Ellie really didn't want to talk to him. So I did what any good twin would do. My bag was waiting by the stairs, so I helped Elena casually slip hers onto her shoulder and directed her to the door.
I put my best fake smile on my face and rambled out, "Now really isn't a good time, we're just going out, so..."
"Well, it won't take long," uncle interrupted me. Le gasp. How dare he! Why do people always interrupt me?
Elena and I exchanged glances. I titled my head, silently asking her if she wanted me to create a distraction and give her the opportunity to run for it. She gave a tiny shake of her head. Oh. Shame. I would have enjoyed kicking Uncle John.
"What did you want to talk about?" Elena eventually sighed.
Uncle John didn't immediately reply. Instead, he picked up a picture Elena had of mom and dad from her dressing table. After staring at it for a few seconds, he looked up at us and said, "Well, I know that both of you know."
"Know what?" Elena frowned as she grabbed my hand and tightly squeezed.
I fake gasped and held a hand to my chest, "That the Earth is round?! Gee Uncle John, we're not that stupid."
"Speak for yourself Lexa," Elena nudged me.
I rolled my eyes, "Honestly twinnie, you're so rude."
"I'm not rude."
"And people claim that I am the rude twin."
"But you are the rude twin."
"Clearly, they have never met you."
"It's really silly to keep pretending," Uncle John cut into our little sibling argument. Well hot diggity damn, I really thought that we would be able to make him forget what he came up here to say. It's worked on others. "What do you think your mother would say?" Uncle John looked as though he was using his trump card. "If she knew that you two were fraternising with vampires? That Elena was dating one?"
Oh he did not just bring our mother into this. That's crossing a line. You know, recently, I've actually started to like the jackass, but now? Now he can go right back on the hating list. With extra hating.
"Which mother?" Elena snarked before turning and walking away.
"Whoo! Go twin!" I cheered, enjoying her savage put down. "That was epic, Ellie. Total put down. A complete burn!" I held my hand up. "High-five me twin."
"And what would Luke say, Alexa?" Uncle Jackass's voice cut through my twin pride.
A red-hot anger burned through my blood. An anger tinged with pain and sadness.
He. Did. Not. Just. Go. There.
If he had crossed the line before, he had just completely obliterated it with that comment. I saw Elena's eyes widen as she mouthed 'Oh no'.
I turned to face my uncle; eyes narrowed. "I don't know Uncle John. But he probably would have been completely fine, seeing as though he was friends with Stefan and tolerated Damon. In fact, he even went clubbing with Damon."
"He was a vampire hunter, Alexa; he wouldn't have done that if he knew the truth about them."
"Oh I know that he was a vampire hunter, he told me. And as for Stefan and Damon, he knew exactly what they were."
I smirked viciously at Jackass, "Have a good day now."
I turned and walked away.
XXX
"Alexa, are you ok?" Elena asked as she drove us back to the Salvatore Boarding House.
"Truthfully? No, I'm not ok," I sighed into the window. "I had just managed to move on. To get on with my life. To learn to life with the pain. And then he has to say something stupid and bring it all rushing back."
"Ignore him, Lexa."
"I'm trying. But you know what's worse? I had just started to actually like him. To accept the fact that I was related to him."
"And then he went and ruined it."
"It's what he does best, apparently."
"I'm sure that if we tell Aunt Jenna, she'll hit him for you."
I laughed slightly, "I vote that we tell Aunt Jenna the next time that we see her."
"Good idea."
"Thanks."
XXX
If I wasn't so fond with Stefan and if he wasn't my friend, I would probably smack him one. Doesn't he realise that he's hurting Elena by refusing to feed? That he's hurting Damon? Although he might not care about that part. And so it was left to me and Damon to reassure her. God, I never thought that I would ever even think that sentence.
How times have changed.
"He's just being dramatic," Damon was saying. "He's not gonna starve himself."
"I agree with Damon," I added, sharing a look with the vampire. "Stefan's not suicidal."
And if he did turn suicidal, he'd soon find a vervain dart heading somewhere unpleasant. And I wouldn't be nice about it.
"But why would he say that?" Elena frowned from where she was sitting on one of the chairs. We had all congregated in the library again. I was lounging on the sofa with Damon standing somewhere behind me.
But yes, I had claimed another sofa.
"He feels bad about hurting that girl," the vampire explained before rolling his eyes. "It's very typical Stefan martyr stuff. It will pass."
It better bloody pass.
"Will it?" Elena demanded, her eyes wide and pleading. "Because he seemed to be in a lot of pain."
"Yeah, well, that will pass too," Damon responded with a shrug. "Once he eats."
I sniggered slightly, "I don't think that that is what she meant, Damon."
"I know what she meant, Alexa."
"You did? Huh, I'm amazed."
"Haha, you're hilarious."
"I know I am, thank you."
"Ego, Alexa, ego."
"I'm not gonna be pulled into this conversation again."
"Of course not, Alexa. Now, are you two gonna be ok here if I have to run out?"
"Why? Where ya goin'?"
"I have to go on an errand with the teacher," the vampire answered as he slipped on his jacket.
"The teacher?" I frowned, glancing at Elena. Which teacher?
"Alaric?" Ellie realised. Oh, that would make sense. But since when did they team up?
"Are the two of you friends now?" I had to hide my smile.
"With the teacher?" Damon rolled his eyes as Elena joined me on the sofa. "Do be serious."
"Hm mm, you can keep on denying it, but I know the truth," I smirked, knowing that I was right. And that Damon hated it.
"You should, uh, you should stay up here," Damon ignored me to speak to my sister. "You shouldn't be down there by yourself."
"We'll be fine," Elena rolled her eyes as I put my feet on her lap for a foot rub. Ellie sighed but gave me what I wanted.
"You know, you're very trusting of him, given the circumstances," Damon's gaze held that weird expression again, one that I couldn't quite place.
"So are you," my twin shot back. "Otherwise you wouldn't be leaving us here."
Damon didn't have an answer for that. Well done, twinnie, well done.
"I won't be long."
XXX
"Elena, what are you doing?" I asked my twin as I followed her down into the Salvatore basement. We had sat together in the library for a while, just discussing everything from the past few weeks.
"Going to see Stefan," Elena replied without looking back. But I didn't need to see her face to know that she had her determined expression on.
"Yeah, I can see that," I rolled my eyes.
"Then why did you ask?"
"Because I wanna know why you are doing this."
"I just want to see him, Alexa."
Elena stopped in front of the cell door and peered inside while I leant against the wall next to her. I wasn't very happy with her little plan. But what could I do to stop her? The idiot was far too stubborn for her own good. Especially when it came to Stefan. This girl just didn't have any common sense in her stupid brain.
"You know, Damon hasn't fed me vervain in a while," Stefan said from inside the cell. "I could be at those bars in a flash and both of you would be dead."
Stefan certainly sounded a lot better now. He was even sitting up. Damon had told us that the human blood was out of his system now so he had eased up on vervaining his brother. All we needed to do now was get Stefan to go back on his animal blood diet. Which he was being stubborn about for some stupid reason.
"Yeah, you could. But you won't," Elena sassed. But despite the confidence in her tone, her hand pushed me away from the door slightly.
"Please, just go away, I don't want you here," Stefan growled out, his eyes flashing angrily. Well, Stefan, that's just incredibly rude. I never knew that you were so rude.
It was then that I heard the sound of the bolt.
I looked at my twin to see her unlocking the door.
"Elena! What the hell are you doing?!" I hissed angrily, unable to believe how stupid the girl was being. I reached out to stop her, but the stupid idiot entered the cell before I could.
"What are you doing? Get out of here!" Stefan ordered fiercely.
"I agree with Stefan," I snapped as I moved to stand in the cell doorway, itching to pull my sister from the room.
"No," Elena stated firmly, standing in the middle of the room with her arms crossed.
"You're taking a stupid risk," Stefan growled, leaning forward.
"A very stupid stupid stupid risk," I nodded sharply, slowly shuffling forward, just in case I needed to push my sister behind me.
"I could hurt you."
"Yes, he could. So get the hell out."
"Then I'm stupid and suicidal, but I'm not leaving," Elena argued as she bent down and scooped up a bottle of icky red stuff from the floor. "You need to drink this."
My twin is a stupid suicidal idiot. And I will kill her for this when we get out of here.
"Elena, get out of here, or you'll regret it," Stefan growled, his hands gripping the bed tightly as he held himself in place.
"Drink," Ellie ordered, shaking the bottle.
"I said get out!" the vampire snarled. He shot up from the bed and got right into my sister's face, fangs out.
"Elena!" I screamed, stepping forward. My idiot twin held up her hand to stop me. I was just about able to obey her command. It was only the lack of fear on her face that stopped me. Although, considering what a stupid risk taker my sister had now become, I probably shouldn't have stopped.
"No," she told the vampire, enunciating the word slowly. The two stared each other in the eye for a long few minutes before Stefan's vampire face slowly morphed back into his normal one.
"Alexa, go back upstairs," Elena ordered without looking back.
"Elena," I protested, glancing between her and Stefan.
"I'll be fine."
"You better be fine."
XXX
It went against every instinct in my body to leave my sister alone in that cell with Stefan. But I knew that no matter what I said or did, she wouldn't leave. Something in her had broken and she was refusing to let Stefan mope around any longer.
That was probably mean of me to say. I'm sure there was a good reason as to why he wasn't drinking. But my main thought was that his decision was affecting my sister. And I wasn't having that. Not at all.
I retreated to the library and continued watching the Sopranos. In between each episode, I slowly crept down to the basement and peered in. The two were talking. Whatever it was, it was affecting them both. My twin had a horrified look on her face while Stefan looked so sad. I so desperately wanted to hear what he was telling her. But I couldn't do that to Stefan. He would tell me when he was ready.
So I left them alone each time. I didn't stop checking but after each time, my worry faded away quicker. It was clear that Stefan had returned to his senses and he wouldn't be a danger to my sister. And I was so thankful for that. As much as it affected my sister, I hated seeing Stefan like that too. He never really struck me as someone who could be weak, which was stupid. But he was also so strong and sure of himself. It was weird seeing him not like that.
So I kept myself occupied by watching the Sopranos. And doing my homework. A miracle, I know. But Ric had, for some reason, nominated himself to be my mentor. I had a feeling my aunt was behind it. But he kept an eye on my grades in all classes and helped me with my homework. It was kind of nice, having some one look out for me like that, especially after everything that had happened. Or maybe it was because of everything that happened. Ric had been so good during that time I was grieving. He made sure that I didn't fall behind with my school work and that I kept track of everything.
Elena returned a few hours later, scaring the life out of me.
Damon was still out on his little mission with Ric and my idiot sister thought it would be a good idea to walk up behind me without making any noise. I just about jumped a mile when she put her hand on my shoulder.
After thoroughly scolding her, I let my sister pass on what she heard. And it was awful. Stefan had told her all about how he was turned. How his father had shot him and Damon while they were rescuing Katherine. How neither of them were going to turn. How Stefan went to go speak to his father and ended up killing him. The fact that it was their father's blood that Stefan first had was mind-boggling.
Once Elena had finished, I just sat there in silence. I just didn't know what to say to that. It was unreal and just so sad. No one the boys were so messed up. Knowing that their father killed them was awful. And to have found out that Katherine hadn't even been in the tomb, that she was never in there, it must have been a whole other level of awful. They had died for her and she had repaid them like that.
Eventually, I just sighed, "Well shit."
XXX
Elena was writing in her diary and I was dozing on the sofa when Damon returned. She hadn't been down to see Stefan since he finished telling her the story. Apparently she had given him so kind of ultimatum and so she waited upstairs with me. I didn't ask what it was, Ellie would tell me when she was ready.
I had been reading one of the books before I got bored. I just wasn't in the right mindset to be reading. I couldn't stop thinking about Stefan's story and just how tragic it was. And it was all Katherine's fault. I was big enough to admit that I hated her even though I didn't know her. She played both brothers against each other, she got them killed and then she didn't have the decency to be in the tomb. She hadn't even tried to contact either of them in the past 145 years.
"Ugh, god, you're still here?" Damon mock-groaned as he made his way into the library.
Elena rolled her eyes and put her diary away into her bag while I just jolted awake and pretended to act all casual. I watched with blurry eyes as Damon wandered over to my sofa and moved my legs up. He slumped down and put them on his lap. I smiled slightly and snuggled further down into the sofa, coincidently moving my legs further across his lap. Damon gave me one of his looks, the one I couldn't decipher, before he adjusted them so that we were both comfortable.
"Were you honestly expecting anything different?" I grinned, rubbing the sleep from my eyes as I tried to subtly get rid of any potential bed hair. I doubted that I had any but when my hair was this short, it was always a possibility when I napped on the sofa.
Damon smirked over at me, "Of course not."
I rolled my eyes playfully before asking, "So, tell me, how was your 'errand'?"
"Futile."
"Oh, how dull."
"Although, I think I witnessed the teacher having an existential crisis."
"Awwww, poor Ric."
"What about poor me? I had to be there will he had the crisis."
"You're an ass and you probably made it worse. You don't deserve a poor Damon."
Damon rolled his eyes at me before looking over at my sister. Ha, clearly that meant that I was right.
"Has Stefan eaten yet?" he asked her, his thumb rubbing small circles into my calf.
"I thought you didn't care," Elena replied snottily, rolling her eyes.
"Chalk it up to morbid curiosity."
Elena sighed but answered, "I think he's getting there. But he's got a lot of guilt that he has to deal with. And it doesn't help that you've spent the last 145 years punishing him for Katherine getting caught."
Whoa Elena, tell him what you really think.
"This is my fault now?" Damon scoffed incredulously and I sensed danger. It was so hard for Damon to open up to anyone and it wouldn't help if my sister blamed him for Stefan's issues. Because it wasn't all Damon's fault. Yeah, he wasn't innocent but Stefan wasn't either.
"That's not what she's saying, Damon," I quickly intervened before the conversation could go even worse. "Is it Elena?"
"Ok, it's no one's fault," Elena gave in as I gave her a stern look.
"Thank you," I gritted out, sensing that this wasn't the end of it.
"But you're not exactly innocent Damon."
"Elena stop," I growled warningly, pulling out one of most severe looks. Normally this worked. But Elena seemed to loose all of her common sense when it came to Stefan. So I just knew that this was gonna be bad. And there wasn't anything I could do to stop it from happening.
"You've made it your life's mission to make him miserable," Elena steam rolled right into bad shit, completely ignoring all my gestures to stop.
Damon shook his head and got up, pushing my feet to the side, "Let me ask you a question. In all this important soul-searching and cleansing of the demons of Stefan's past, did you ever manage to get the rest of the story?"
"Nope," I answered as I gave my sister another look.
"Stefan said that there was more," Ellie frowned, looking thoughtful.
Why do I have such a bad feeling about this?
"Yeah, that's an understatement."
Damon went to leave the room. He was almost to the door when I managed to pull myself to my feet and stumble after him. If he left now, then that was it. We wouldn't get the rest of the story from him. And we needed to hear it from Damon. This wasn't something that Stefan could tell us.
"Damon!"
But just as I was about to catch up to him, I did an Alexa and tripped over my feet. It was pure luck that I crashed into Damon's back and not the floor. I heard a sigh before Damon turned around, hands gently grasping my elbows so that I didn't fall again.
"Tell us Damon," I demanded softly, looking into his lovely eyes. "Tell me."
And tell us he did.
I almost didn't believe it. I almost didn't want to. But it explained so much. Why Damon hated Stefan. He was forced to turn by his brother. Even after he made his choice to die as a human, to be at peace. But it also explained why the two were still able to accept each other as brothers. Because they turned so that they could be with each for eternity. Even if it was an eternity of misery.
XXX
I sat on the sofa next to Damon, who had cracked out the bourbon. At least it wasn't the whiskey. I was lucky that the story was compelling enough that I was able to ignore the booze in front of me.
Throughout the mini-story, I had subconsciously been moving forward until I was just inches away from the vampire. I was itching to take his hand and tell him it was all okay. But I couldn't do that with Elena in the room. Damon wouldn't accept any comfort while there was someone else around. He had to keep his tough, bad guy rep intact.
"From the moment Stefan had his first taste of human blood, he was a different person," Damon concluded his tale with a sigh. "I suppose I should thank him. It's been a hell of a ride."
Is it really really bad to be pleased that Stefan made his brother turn? If Damon had never turned, then I would never have met him. And my heart just doesn't want to accept that. I know that a lot of things wouldn't have happened. Luke and Jazz wouldn't have died. My friends wouldn't be in constant danger. But even then, I didn't want to imagine a life without Damon. He was a good friend and while I did feel other things for him, I refuse to accept them. Damon had quickly become one of my best friends and he challenged me. He made me feel brave and strong. And he showed me a side that was worth being friends with.
"Oh my god," Elena gasped, her hands covering her mouth. "He said that he wanted to die. That's why he won't feed. Now I understand why."
"His choice," Damon shrugged as Ellie rushed from the room. I called after my sister but she didn't pause. I would have gone with her but Damon's next words stopped me.
"If he's stupid enough to make it, so be it," the vampire murmured into his drink.
"Hey," I frowned, giving his thigh a prod. "Don't you do that. Don't you dare. Don't pretend that you don't care."
"But I don't."
"Sure you do, he's your brother. Family cares for family."
"That another Alexa Life Lesson?"
"Number 2."
"What's number 1?"
"Nothing is closer than the bond between siblings."
"Is that right?"
"Yeah, it is."
"He's gone!" Elena gasped as she ran into the room, her eyes filling with tears. "Stefan's gone. And he's left his daylight ring behind."
Oh crap. That's not good. That's so not good. Goddamnit Stefan.
"Well, do you know where he is?" I demanded as my hand found its way to the fabric of Damon's shirt and twisted it around my fingers.
"I... I think I do..." my twin stuttered out, breathing heavily.
"Well, what are you waiting for? Go fetch."
Elena nodded her head sharply and went to leave before hesitating. She glanced between me and the vampire at my side before ordering, "Alexa, stay here. Damon, look after my sister."
Why does everyone do that? I don't need people looking after me. I'm not a child.
XXX
Time passed slowly while we waited for our siblings to return. Damon had topped up his drink and was staring into the fire. I just watched him, not even bothering to be subtle about it.
"Do you think that she'll find him?" I eventually asked. The room was so silent and tense, that I was hesitant to disturb it. But the question had been burning in my throat for a while now and I needed to let it out.
We were once again situated on the sofa, with my feet on Damon's lap. Damon had even insisted on putting the blanket over me once I had shivered. The warmth of the fire wasn't doing much tonight.
"I think that if anyone can find my brother, it will be your sister," Damon replied, his fingers absentmindedly tracing small circles on my skin.
"I hope she finds him," I sighed, my eyes glancing over at the door.
The vampire glanced over at me, "Why are you so worried about Stefan?"
"He's like... he's like an older brother to me," I replied slowly, looking for the right words. No, wait, let me correct that. "He's like a responsible older brother. One that I can talk to if I'm having problems. And I don't want Elena to lose anyone else. She doesn't deserve that."
"I thought that Lockwood kid was your adopted older brother."
"He is... sort of. He's like the older brother slash twin. I can talk to him, about anything, he's just not responsible."
I snorted; responsible is the wrong word to use to describe Tyler. I snuggled down deeper into the sofa and pondered. Even after everything, I couldn't believe that Stefan had a suicide wish. I couldn't see how this would help. If he truly felt guilty for everything he had done, then surely it would be better for him to stick around and make amends?
"You were angry when you came back from your house, why?" Damon asked, drawing me from my thoughts.
"Uncle John."
"Ah," that word held a lot of meaning. "What did he say?"
"He tried to use Luke against me."
"In what way?"
There was a subtle hint of fury in the vampire's voice. Damon knew better than anyone how badly Luke's death affected me. He was there for all of it. And for someone to try and use it against me, ho boy, that was one way to get an early death.
"He confronted me and Elena about the fact that you and Stefan are vampires. He tried to use mom against us at first, until Elena just tore it apart. But then... then he brought Luke up."
Damon didn't say anything else, but I knew that he was angry for me. He didn't like Uncle John. Hated him, in fact. And I think that an extra excuse to hate him was just perfect for the vampire.
XXX
"Alexa, what are you doing in my bed?" Damon sighed.
I sleepily opened my eyes and blinked. The room was still dark but I could just about see Damon's outline in the moonlight.
"Stefan and Elena are spending the night here together. And I had no other way of getting home," I explained through several yawns.
"But why are you in my bed?"
"Because it's comfy and I figured I would save you the trouble of moving me here later."
Damon sighed, but didn't try to kick me out.
"Move over," he instructed.
I slowly moved so that one side of the bed was free.
"Alexa, did you mess up my room?" the vampire asked as he climbed into the bed.
"No, Elena did it," I mumbled sleepily.
"Sure she did."
Damon said something else, but by this point I was far too far into the land of nod.
The last thing that I felt was a warm arm encircling my waist and a comforting presence at my back.
XXX
A/N: So it took me a couple of weeks to realise that I never actually put the poll on my profile! So please go and vote :) We are just 4 reviews away from 400, so please review, and I hope you all enjoyed xoxo
