Disclaimer: I only own my OCs
A/N: Before I start, I just wanted to warn you all that this one gets quite dark. Alexa goes through a lot in this one but we get some lovely twin time where they get to discuss some of their feelings. This episode has always been a sad one as I really did like Rose and she definitely got screwed over by events.
XXX
To say that I was furious would like saying that the sky was blue. But it wasn't always blue, sometimes it was grey or black or red/pink. So that was a crap example. Let's try that again, to say that I was furious would be like saying that blood was red or that Elena was a doppelganger or coffee was good or that I loved Damon Salvatore. And dammit Alexandria you're getting off topic. Focus, girl, focus. So yes, I was damn furious.
But why was I furious, I hear you ask?
Well, my idiot twin sister was the reason as to why I was furious. Not that that was a surprise. But yes, I was currently in an awful mood because of Elena. Stupid, stupid, stupid, martyr, determined to sacrifice herself Elena Goddamn Gilbert.
She had only gone and made a deal with Elijah. The Original Vampire Elijah. Who, not that long ago, tried to kidnap us. And she's made a goddamn deal with him. And while I had no idea as to what that deal entailed, I can just tell that it won't be good and that I won't like it.
I hadn't even spoken to her since I found out what she did. Nope sirrr-eee, all I'd done was give her a few filthy looks and I ignored her. Which was difficult because I was mad at her and I wanted her to know that I was mad at her. But at the same time, I didn't want to ignore her, I didn't want to be mad at her. I just wanted my twin sister to be with me and not be determined to give her life to save me. Alright, she's doing it to save me, but she's not thinking about my side of it. If she died and I lived, then I would have to live without her. And I don't know if I could do that.
But anyways, it wasn't even her who told me. It was Stefan, who thought that I already knew. Well, he soon found out otherwise when I grabbed the cake that I had made for Tyler earlier that morning and stormed out of the house. I don't know why he thought that I knew, I mean, I was acting perfectly kind towards my sister and I was in a good-ish mood. Maybe he was just being hopeful. I wish that I could be hopeful. But as each day went by that my twin kept on trying to sacrifice her life, my hope slowly drained away. And once that hope is gone… well, I'm just afraid that I'll do something stupid. Like drinking my sorrows away.
No, Alexa, think of something else. You've gotta think of something else. Drinking equals bad so don't think about it. Stop thinking about it. Before you decide to hell with it and just drink.
So think about something else. Your anger. Anger towards Elena. Focus on that. Anger. Furious. Mad.
But grrrr I was so mad at her.
Mad enough that I had stormed out of the house in bright pink slipper socks and red flip flops. Which was an unusual look, even for me. And I was known for my wacky outfit choices and colours.
It didn't take me long to reach the Lockwood residence, especially with my anger walking. I knew that Mrs Lockwood had an early morning meeting this morning, so it would just be me and Tyler in the huge house. Which was good, because I didn't think that I would be able to contain my worrying and that would just tip off Mommy Lockwood into thinking that something was wrong. Yeah, ok, there was something wrong, Tyler did turn into a werewolf last night, but she couldn't know that. Therefore, there was nothing at all wrong.
In my haste to get away from my twin, I had forgotten to get my spare Lockwood house key out of my room. So, after placing the cake box to one side, I had to resort to knocking loudly on the door in the hope that Tyler was awake enough to hear me knocking. Although, I think that I was knocking loud enough for the Salvatore's to hear me in the Boarding House.
"Tyler? Tyler, honey, you up?" I called, peering through the glass in the door. I couldn't see any movement, not even from upstairs, so I resumed banging on the front door. Cough, I mean, knocking on the front door.
Then, without any warning at all, the door opened and my fist was caught in a warm hand.
"Alex, my dearest Alex, if I wasn't already up, then I definitely would be with that noise," Ty gave me a tired smile as he used his grip on my hand to pull me into a hug. I wrapped my free arm around his neck as my older brother rested his forehead against my shoulder.
"Hey Ty," I whispered in his ear as I ran a soothing hand through his hair.
"Hey Alex," Ty whispered back, my voice muffled by my shoulder.
"How ya feelin'?" I asked, snuggling in closer, tucking his head under my chin.
"Crappy," my Ty-Ty snorted, running his hand up and down my back. "You?"
"I've been better," I shrugged carefully, making sure that I didn't dislodge him. "But this isn't about me, so let's see if we can do something to make you feel better, eh?"
"Oh?" Ty pulled away but kept his arm around my waist. "What were you thinking?"
I tapped my chin in thought, "Hmmm, well, coffee, to start off with."
"Of course, god forbid you don't get your coffee fix," my bro sent me a small, shaky smirk. I felt instantly proud of myself. Just a few minutes in my awesome presence and he was already feeling better. I was such an amazing sister. I scooped up the cake-box and revelled in my awesomeness.
"Shut up, Ty," I bit my lip to hide a smile as I elbowed him in the tummy. "For breakfast I could cook…"
I trailed off in thought as we slowly walked through the house and into the kitchen. Damn, what could I cook for breakfast?
"Ooooh, I don't know," I sighed, tipping my head sideways and resting it against Ty's shoulder. "There's so much choice."
"What about chocolate-chip pancakes?" Ty-Ty suggested, a hopeful look on his face. A little known fact was that chocolate-chip pancakes were Tyler's favourite ever breakfast. The only living people who know were me, Mrs Lockwood and Mattie D. But chocolate-chip pancakes were delicious. Especially my ones. As I added some buttermilk to get them properly light and fluffy, just like Tyler loved them.
"I think that that sounds like a brilliant idea," I smiled, looking around the kitchen to make sure that I had everything that I need. "I could do a side of bacon as well. If you are uber lucky, I'll soak it in maple syrup first."
"Even better," Tyler nodded as he let go of me so that I could gather all of the required ingredients.
After setting up everything for the bacon, I turned my attention to making the pancakes, but not after eating a few of the chocolate-chips. Fortunately, I had found two packs of chocolate-chips, because one pack would not be enough with both me and Tyler in the room. I had a nasty habit of eating the chocolate whenever I cooked with it and Ty was just as bad. So I always made sure to have extra chocolate hanging about.
I dropped a few chocolate-chips into my mouth as I put the coffee machine on. While I waited for the delicious smell of coffee to hit me, I popped a few more in. Only to giggle when Tyler snatched the packet out of my hands. I tried to grab the packet back but the meanie held it over his head.
"Come on Ty," I whined pitifully, making sure that I was being extra dramatic to entice another smile from my bro. "Gimme it back."
"No, you'll eat them all and then we won't have any for the pancakes," big brother shook his head before eating a few himself with a cheeky smile.
I gasped in mock horror, "One, we have another packet so we have plenty. Two, you just ate some!"
Ty smirked and opened his mouth to retort but before he could, the delicious smell of coffee filled the air.
"Coffee's ready," I beamed, turning my attention to the coffee pot and the beautiful substance waiting within. As I poured out mugs for Tyler and myself, I thought about broaching the subject of last night. But I didn't want to because he was so happy at the moment and I didn't want to upset him. He deserved to be happy after what he went through.
While I cooked the pancakes, I put Ty in charge of cooking the bacon, because there was no way that he would be able to muck that up. Hopefully. Meh, it'll be fine, I'm around to help.
But this whole thing, it couldn't help but remind me of when we used to do this. When Luke and Jazz were still alive. Unable to cook Jazz used to keep us filled up with coffee and was our runner. Luke, dearest Luke, he could only be trusted with the chopping and cutting and anything that did not involve the oven. Trust me, you do not want to hear the story behind that decision. And, much like now, Ty and I were in charge of the actual cooking of the food. I missed it. There was no denying that. Things were never gonna be the same again. And there was no point in wishing that they could be. I had to move on. I needed to move on.
It didn't take long for everything to be cooked to my standards. Which were ridiculously high. Once it was all done, we gathered up all of the food and took it into the dining room. With a dollop of ice cream on the pancakes, we tucked in.
There was a companionable silence while we ate. One that didn't require conversation. I liked it. But, unfortunately, it gave me the opportunity to think back to this morning. To what my foolish twin sister had done. And why I was so mad at her. Being here with Tyler, making breakfast with him, it helped me forget for a bit. I was happy. Well, as happy as I could be.
"Oh, I forgot to say earlier," Ty said, trying and failing to hide a small smirk. "I love the slipper socks and flip flops look. It looks just fabulous."
"Oh shut up," I rolled my eyes, kicking him with a slipper sock and flip flop clad foot. "I was in a hurry when I left."
"Why were you in a hurry?" my bro asked, catching my foot and placing it on his knee. I knew that I couldn't tell him the full truth for Tyler did not yet know about the whole stupid sacrifice debacle. And he didn't need to know. He didn't need the added stress on top of the whole werewolf thing. It just wouldn't be fair on him.
"Ellie and I had a fight," I mumbled, looking down into my coffee mug. "And I stormed out before I could say something that I would regret."
Ty sighed and took my hand in his, "Oh Alex, what did you fight about?"
I gave his hand a small squeeze, "Stupid stuff. It's just… it feels… I don't want to fight with her, but it just feels as though everything that she does frustrates me somehow. And I lash out because, in some stupid weird way, it feels better than being sad. But then I'm sad about the fact that Ellie and I are fighting. You get it?"
My big brother nodded, "It feels exactly like last summer when we were fighting."
And it did.
"Yeah," I sighed, draining my coffee mug. "Stupid family."
"Love you too, Alex," Tyler mock grumbled, making me smile.
"Aww you know what I mean," I cooed, pushing my morose thoughts out of my mind as I reached forward to bonk him on the nose.
"Unfortunately," Ty let my foot gently fall to the floor before standing up. "Lovely breakfast, little sister."
"Of course it was," I shrugged, also standing up. "I made it."
"You and your ego," big brother rolled his eyes as he collected the plates.
"I don't know what you're talking about," I smirked before fleeing to the kitchen.
Behind me I could hear Tyler grumbling, but as I filled up the washing up bowl that Mrs Lockwood insisted that we used, I found that I had missed this. It had been so long since I could just have a pointless bit of bickering with a sibling. All of my bickering recently had been with my idiot twin and that definitely was not pointless. And Jeremy was too high-strung with his new found crush on the neighbourhood witch to be a good bickering buddy. Guess even in the midst of all this insanity, I could have a moment of normal.
"I'm surprised that you haven't mentioned last night yet," Ty remarked after we had washed and dried up everything that we had used.
The cake box containing the Victoria cake that I had made was open on the table in front of us, a large chunk already missing from it. I stared at the gap in the cake, considering my answer. There were two options, I could either tell the truth or I could give some sarcastic remark which meant that we didn't have to talk about it. The second one would be easier, especially for Tyler. But it also meant that I didn't have to hear about the pain that he went through. Pain that I couldn't help him with. And it absolutely killed me to admit that. It was my job as his sister to help him and I just… couldn't.
"I didn't want to ruin your good mood," I mumbled, curling into my brother's side on the couch as I put my empty plate to the side.
We sat in silence for a few minutes before Ty muttered, in a touched tone, "Thank you Alex."
"You're welcome, Ty," I smiled, giving his tummy a pat. "You're just lucky that you have such an awesome and amazing sister."
The Lockwood let out a sarcastic laugh, "Yeah, of course I am. So so lucky."
"Well at least you finally realise it," I remarked, taking his hand in mine. "But… what was it like?"
"Horrible," my brother admitted, squeezing my hand slightly. "It was the worst pain that I have ever experienced in my life. And I wasn't in control, I couldn't control my own body. Caroline said that I nearly got out. God knows who I might of hurt if that had happened. I could have ended up… hurting you…"
"Oh Ty-Ty," I sighed, letting go of his hand so that I could give him a proper hug. "It wouldn't have been your fault. Besides, I… someone should have thought about the door, it's not exactly the sturdiest door in the world."
I felt guilty because Ty was feeling guilty. Which was just ridiculous. But I was partly responsible. Because Tyler was only forced to become a werewolf because Katherine needed a werewolf. And she only needed a werewolf because I helped to kill Mason, her werewolf. So it was my fault. My fault that my big brother was going through this pain. That he would be going through this pain every full moon for the rest of his life.
Tyler must have detected the guilt in my voice as he refused to end the hug, "You shouldn't feel guilty Alex, it's not your fault."
But it was. It really, really was. But he could never know. Never ever. It would break him if he ever found out. And on a more selfish note, he would leave me if he found out my part in it. And I couldn't lose him. Not now, not ever.
"Then you're not allowed to feel guilty either," I mumbled against his neck.
"Fine," Tyler grudgingly muttered into my hair.
"Fine," I repeated, closing my eyes.
Neither one of us wanted to end the hug so we just shifted into a more comfortable position and relaxed. We sat there for a while, just enjoying each other's presence. It was like the calm before the storm and we were just waiting for it all to explode around us. So we just took the time to soak up as much comfort from each other as possible.
But, of course, real life just had to intrude upon our comforting sibling moment. As real life has an awful habit of doing.
I let out a long groan as my phone started to ring. Nooooooooo. Why? Why? Why? And, even worse, it was the ringtone that I had given to Ellie, 'We Are Family' by Sister Sledge.
"Piss off Ellie," I muttered petulantly as I reached over and grabbed my phone from the corner of the sofa.
"You don't have to answer that," Ty pointed out, rubbing small circles onto my knee.
I gave him a dirty look, "Of course I do. It's probably some stupid life or death situation where I have to go and stop my twin from being stupid. As usual."
But I have to admit, the temptation was there.
"It's weird that it's that way round and that you're not the one doing something stupid," Ty shot me a small smirk. The meanie.
I stuck my tongue out at him before finally answering the phone, "Yes Elena, what do you want?"
"Hey Lexa, how soon can you get to the Salvatore Boarding House?"
"Uh," I looked over at Tyler. "How soon can I get to the Salvatore Boarding House?"
"Well, if I feel generous enough to give you a lift, not long at all," he answered with a curious look.
"Awesome," I smiled at him before saying to my twin, "Uh not long at all. Why?"
"Because we need to talk, Lexa," my twin sighed into the phone. "I need to explain why I made that deal."
"Damn right you need to explain," I snorted viciously. "You need to explain your stupid ass decision and why I had to find out about the stupid ass decision from Stefan. And not you."
"Alright, I need to talk to Stefan but if you meet me at the Boarding House we'll talk after, yeah?"
"Works for me, see you soon, Ellie."
"See you soon, Lexa."
As the call ended I let out a loud and long groan.
"You two are having serious issues," Tyler frowned as he stood up with me in his arms. "And I don't like it."
"I don't like it either," I pouted, wrapping my arms around his neck and letting him carry me to his car. "But she's being a stupid-head and I can't bear to see her get hurt."
"Aww Alex, what would make you feel better?" Ty mock cooed in my ear as I put on one of my more pathetic looks.
"Chocolate, lots and lots of chocolate," I muttered as Tyler gently put me down.
He chuckled and pressed a kiss to my forehead before he wandered around to his side of the car. I smiled fondly after him and climbed into the car. I almost would have preferred to walk, to take more time before I had to have that dreaded conversation with Elena. But I knew that I couldn't do that. We did need to talk. Every moment that we were fighting was a moment that I would regret on the miniscule chance that I failed to save her.
No, Alexa, don't think like that. I couldn't think like that.
XXX
After Tyler dropped me off outside the Salvatore Boarding House, I took a few moments to enjoy the last of the peace and quiet before my conversation with my twin. I knew that it wouldn't be an easy conversation. Elena's car was already parked outside, so I knew that she was definitely here. Yippee.
Ugh, well, there was no point in hanging around out here. I had to go in there at some point. Let's face the music.
I quietly made my way inside and looked around. Huh. No one in sight. But Elena was definitely here since her car was here. And she was inside which meant that at least one Salvatore was at home.
But where were they?
It was then that voices caught my attention. And by that, I mean actual voices. I weren't hearing disembodied voices and there weren't any voices in my head. So there was no need to worry. Promise.
Frowning, I followed the voices around to the library, only to find Rose sitting in front of the fire, wrapped in a blanket. Damon was stood beside her, pouring blood into a glass. Ick.
"I was born in 1450," Rose shivered and pulled the blanket tighter around her. "That makes me 560 years old."
I felt my eyes widen in surprise as I leaned against one of the wooden pillars. Wow. I knew that she was older than Damon. But 560? Woah that was pretty damn old. Just think of all the stuff that she had lived through and experienced. I really ought to have picked her brain a bit more on all of the cool historical stuff that she knew.
"Well, if you were a bottle of wine," Damon smirked, trying to lift her spirits. Not that it at all worked. The poor vampire. The poor, dying, vampire. But to be fair, that would be a pretty darn impressive bottle of wine. Noooo Alexa, don't you dare think of wine.
"You know, if you're gonna be morose," my vampire refrained from rolling his eyes. "I'm just gonna kill you myself just to put me out of your misery."
But I could hear the concern in his voice. He cared about Rose, she was his friend. And, bless him, poor Damon didn't have many friends. So he was fiercely protective of the ones that he did have.
The corners of Rose's mouth twitched upwards into a mockery of a smile but that was her only reaction to Damon's words.
"Come on, it's just a little werewolf bite," Damon stared down at Rose, keeping his eyes on her. "Isn't that right, Alexa?"
I froze. Uh, how long had he known that I was there? Damn, I didn't even realise. And I thought that I had been sneaky while arriving in the room. Guess I failed there.
"Yeah, totes," I chuckled nervously as both the vampires in the room turned their gazes to me. "Just an… incy… wincy… werewolf… bite."
My vampire rolled his eyes at my less than convincing response, which made me stick my tongue out at him when the sick vampire in the room turned back to face the fire.
"Just a little, fatal to a vampire werewolf bite," Rose scoffed into her glass of blood.
"Uh, if it helps," I spoke up as I walked across the room to stand next to Damon. "Ric says that legend is notoriously unreliable and therefore shouldn't be trusted. And Ric is, like, hardly ever wrong."
"Exactly," Damon agreed, wrapping an arm around my waist. "So drink up."
My vampire nodded towards the glass of blood in Rose's hand. With a dubious look on her face, the sick vampire took a slow sip.
"Blood heals," Damon uttered softly, tugging me closer so that I could rest my head on his chest. With a small sigh, I did just that. God, this whole situation just made me feel even more helpless than I did before. And believe me when I say that that was a goddamn miracle.
Rose paused for a couple of seconds before nodding slowly, "Yeah, it does feel like it's working."
But even I could tell that she didn't completely believe her words. Even if she really really wanted to. And there's the sound of my heart breaking even more.
I reluctantly relinquished my hold on Damon as he said, "Let's have a look, come on, let me see."
While my vampire carefully peeled away Rose's top so that he could see the fatal wound on her back, I stayed right where I was. I didn't really need to look to know that it wasn't getting any better. And I would be a much more effective comforter if I wasn't being continuously grossed out by the injury.
… And by that I mean that I wanted my full focus on Rose and not how icky her wound was. Because once I had that image in my mind, I knew that I wouldn't be able to get rid of it.
But as bad as it sounds, I was grateful to her. From what I've heard, she pushed Damon out of the way. This could have been Damon sitting here, his fate up in the air. And as awful as it made me appear, I'm glad that it's not him. Because I don't think that I could survive losing him.
"How is it?" Rose asked, sounding as though she really didn't want the answer. Damon and I exchanged glances. He was clearly unsure as to whether or not to tell the truth to the poor vampire. While I had not seen the injury, I could tell from the look on Damon's face that it was Not Good. And yes, those capitals were necessary.
"Definitely better," my vampire lied and it was so close to being a convincing lie. "Right, Elena?"
At the sound of my twin's name, my gaze shot towards the doorway. Ellie stood where I had stood not too long ago, a shocked look on her face. Ah, so she had gotten a good view of the she-vampire's werewolf bite wound. Damn, bad luck there Ellie.
"Um, it's not bad," Elena attempted to smile at the injured vampire as she turned around, but it came off more as a grimace.
… Brilliant acting there twinnie…
"Where's Stefan?" the male vampire asked my twin while I refilled Rose's glass of blood. And can I just say, that was not the most pleasant of jobs ever. But she needed it and because I was such a wonderful friend, I helped her. Le sigh, the things that I did for my friends.
"He left," Elena told him as he walked towards her, dragging me behind him. Not that I needed much persuasion to move. Next to Damon was exactly where I wanted to be at that moment in time. Even if that did mean going to closer to my twin. Who I was still mad at. And we still needed to have that conversation. Damn.
"I need you to talk to him," my twin pleaded, her eyes wide. "He's convinced that he has to find Isobel but I think that that's gonna upset Elijah."
"Good," I mumbled petulantly, resting my head against Damon's arm. I was not happy with Elijah. He was an enabler in my twin's stupid, stupid, stupid plan to sacrifice herself to save everyone else. And let's not forget that he tried to kidnap my twin once. Nope, couldn't forget that at all.
"No can do," Damon shook his head. "I'm with Stefan on this one but…" Damon glanced down at me, obviously trying to see what sort of mood I was in. "If the two of you could play nurse for a little while…"
Does that mean that Damon's leaving? He couldn't leave. I needed him here. And, uh, Rose needed him here too. Yeah.
"Oh, no, it's not necessary," Rose cut in before Ellie or I could say anything. Aww bless her. It was pretty damn obvious that she needed to be looked after. Wanted to be looked after, even. But either through pride, independence or just not knowing how to be cared for, the vampire refused.
"It is necessary," Damon corrected her. "Besides, Elena is a do-gooder. It's in her nature, she just can't resist." The male vampire smirked at my sister as she shot him a disgruntled look. "And Alexa, well," he glanced down at me and gently stroked his hand down my back. "She'd do anything for her friends."
"And I consider you my friend, Rosie-Posie," I said seriously, granting her a nickname, which was a big deal. "So be prepared for lots of care from me."
Nodding sharply, I have the sick vampire a stern look, just in case she decided to argue. Whether she wanted me to or not, I was going to look after her. Rose had proven that she cared for us, in her own little Rose way. Like when she helped me get Damon to Slater's apartment to stop my idiot twin's plan to give herself up to Cody. And I wanted to repay her for that. Even if I was slightly wary for letting her anywhere near my twin.
"Anyways, I'll leave you ladies here, then," Damon announced as his hand slid down my back and grasped my hand in his, giving it a squeeze.
"I'll walk you out," I blurted out before he could leave the room, tightening my grip on his hand. I didn't even care that I wasn't being even a little bit subtle. All I cared about was staying with Damon for a little bit longer. Because he helped me feel better. And I needed that right now.
Tugging on my hand, my vampire led me out of the room and we slowly walked in the direction of the front door.
"She's gonna die, isn't she?" I asked softly, resting my head against his arm.
"Probably," Damon sighed, lightly squeezing my hand. "The wolf bite caused some kind of infection and it's getting worse."
"Like some sort of venom?" I frowned, glancing up as I considered the idea in my head.
My vampire sighed in frustration and rested his forehead against the top of my head, "I don't know, Alexa. I really don't. Unfortunately, I'm not an expert in the field."
Releasing his hand, I turned to face him properly and promptly pulled my Damon into a tight hug. His arms came up and held me to him.
"I'm sorry," I mumbled into his chest. Rose was Damon's friend first and he's closer to her than I was. And now he's losing her. It's just not fair.
"Me too," he whispered into my hair before pulling away slightly. "I'll be back later, ok? Be careful."
"I'm always careful," I countered, keeping my grip on him, unwilling to let go.
"No you're not," Damon allowed a small smirk to form on his face as he brushed my fringe out of my eyes.
"Ok, point," I was forced to concede. "But I'll be fine. I promise."
"You better be," he breathed, pressing a kiss to my forehead.
I closed my eyes and savoured the feel of his lips against my skin. Even when I heard the door close behind him, I refused to open my eyes. I didn't want him to leave because, well, Rose needed him... And, dammit, I needed him too.
XXX
Twisting my ring around my finger, I stepped back into the library.
In the time that I had been with Damon, Ellie had refilled Rose's glass of blood, taken off her jumper and wrapped a blanket around her tank top covered torso. Well, my twin certainly had been busy.
I took a moment to clear my mind and fix my 'everything is fine' mask on my face.
Walking all the way in, I sat next to the sick vampire on the coffee table.
"Ok, so, on a scale from one to ten, how crap do you feel?" I asked, patting Rose on the knee.
"One hundred," she groaned, leaning into me and resting her head against my shoulder. I froze slightly, not expecting the physical contact, but welcoming it all the same. Hey, if it helped and comforted her, who was I to say no and deny her. And a small part of me was secretly thrilled that the vampire trusted me enough to lean on me like that.
"Aww honeybun," I cooed, wrapping an arm around her waist. "Do you wanna go somewhere more comfy?"
"Where did you have in mind?" Rose inquired as I carefully helped her to her feet. Elena walked over to support her other side and we slowly made our way out of the room.
"Well, since Damon placed me in charge," I started with a smirk.
"When did he do that?" Ellie interrupted with a raised eyebrow.
"Twin shush," I stuck my tongue out at her before continuing. "Like I was saying, since Damon placed me in charge, why don't we go and get you comfy in his wonderful bed. Sound good?"
"Right now, any bed will do," the vampire groaned as we carefully helped her up the stairs.
"That bad, huh?" I winced in sympathy as Rose let out another pain filled groan. I directed our little group towards my vampire's bedroom. I had been this way so many times, I could walk the route in my sleep. In fact, I had stumbled my way into his bedroom during my sleep. I've also done it while drunk.
"I hate this," she sighed while Ellie and I exchanged worried glances. "I'm a vampire, I haven't had a cold in five centuries."
I had to resist the urge to make an 'Alexa comment' there. Because while I knew that it would have the effect of cheering Rose up, even I knew that it would not be appropriate.
"I know honey," I soothed, running a hand over her back, making sure to avoid her wound. "Let's get you into bed."
To be honest, I was quite surprised that Rose was allowing me to fuss over her the way that I was. She seemed like the independent type and allowing a teenage human to mother her seemed rather out of character. But then again, after being on the run for 500 years, it must be nice for someone to look after you.
"We don't get sick," the injured vampire continued as we eased her down into the bed. "When we die, it's fast and sudden and it's certainly not drawn out in illness."
"You're not gonna die," Elena told her firmly, tucking her into Damon's bed. It was Ellie's 'don't you dare argue with me' tone. And only a fool would argue with her when she unleashed it. Even I'm not stupid enough to argue with her.
"Such a human thing to say," Rose smiled faintly as I settled down next to her on the bed, tucking the blanket around her.
I watched fondly as my twin gazed around the room. While Ellie had been in Damon's room before, it was mainly because she had to drag me out of bed. Or to stop me from re-organising Damon's room Alexa-style. So basically, she hadn't had much of a chance to have a good look around.
"You've never been in Damon's bedroom before, have you?" the she-vampire asked as Elena perched on the edge of the bed. I allowed my own gaze to revolve around the room, taking in the sight of the familiar space. The room was, for once, looking perfectly neat, tidy and organised. What with everything that had been going on and my own misery spells, I hadn't had the opportunity to re-organise it Alexa-style in a very long time.
Ellie shook her head, "I have been in here a few times, mainly to sort out Alexa, but I've never had the opportunity to have a look around."
Elena picked up one of the books that were piled on the floor. Stretching my body to the side, I managed to catch a glimpse of the title. 'Gone With The Wind'. I'd spent some time a few months ago reading it, it wasn't one of my favourites, but the book was still a good read. Especially when I managed to get Damon to get it out-loud to me.
"Not what you expected?"
Ellie glanced over at Rose as she asked the question before placing the book in her hands back onto the pile. My twin turned her body so that she was directly facing the sick vampire and smiled softly.
"It's just a room with a bed," she countered before glancing down with a cheekier smile. "Maybe I expected there to be silk sheets."
They shared a smile and small laugh while I laid back on the bed and closed my eyes.
"They're in the cupboard with the satin set," I remarked absentmindedly, my lips curling up into a smile as I remembered all of the times that I had teased Damon about them. But even I had to admit, they were comfy as hell to sleep in. So much so that I was considering getting my own set.
Shhhh don't tell anyone that.
Feeling their gazes, I opened my eyes to see the two staring at me.
"Oh Alexa, why doesn't it surprise me that you know that?" my twin shook her head, an amused smile on her face.
"Because you know me oh so well, twinnie," I smirked at her, jabbing her in the thigh with my foot. We were putting on a rather good show, if I don't say so myself. It was obvious that we still needed to talk and that things wouldn't be good between us until we had. But we couldn't let Rose see that. The poor dear was essentially dying and it would be selfish of us to let our issues get in the way of looking after her.
"You're lucky, you know," Rose said, looking at my sister with a wistful look on her face. "No one's ever loved me the way that you're loved."
I stared at Rose in shock. Even though she was on her deathbed, she was still trying to help us, help me, save Elena. I know that we didn't have the best meeting but I'm glad that I decided to be friends with her. And dammit, I would do everything in my power to make sure that she had a relaxing day.
"I doubt that," Ellie turned to brush it off, her eyes darting in my direction.
Rose followed her gaze and gave me a small smile, "I was lucky enough to have a sister. Not a twin, mind you, she was a few years younger than me. But we were never as close as you two are and I regret that so much."
"How did you lose her?" I asked softly, breaking my silence.
"Influenza," Rose sighed sadly. "There was nothing that anyone could do. Losing her was one of the most difficult things that I've ever had to deal with."
"How did you deal with it?" I needed to know. Maybe it would help me, if the worst came to be. But I doubt it. I knew beyond a doubt that if Elena did die, I would never recover.
The she-vampire looked at me carefully before cautiously replying, "Let's just say that the path that I went down led to me eventually becoming a vampire."
Ah. Ok then. That's not good. That not good at all.
"But surely there must have been someone else over all those years," Elena frowned, keeping her gaze fixed on the bedridden one.
But the vampire shook her head, "Trevor was my best friend. Nothing more. I spent all those years on the run from Elijah. I just never thought that it was a good idea to set up roots. The whole idea of family is not exactly compatible with being a vampire." Rose looked my sister dead in the eye. "So why are you so eager to give up?"
Elena picked up the glass of blood, breaking eye contact with the vampire as she said, "I'm not giving up on anything." She passed the glass over. "Here."
I stayed silent, unwilling to get myself involved in this part of the conversation. I knew that if I did say something, it would only be likely to trigger an argument between me and my stupid, stubborn twin. And besides, Rose seemed to be handling it nicely.
"Then what do you call this whole deal with Elijah?" Rose raised an eyebrow. That was a very good question and one that I very much wanted the answer to.
"I call it my best option," Ellie answered as I slid off the bed and started pacing back and forth across the room. I needed to move. I couldn't just… sit still for any longer. Or I would end up saying something. And with the frustration that was slowly building, that would not be a good idea.
"It's your easiest option," the vampire snorted, easing back against the pillows.
"That's not fair," Elena frowned, her eyes narrowing slightly. But I couldn't help but agree with Rose. It was the easy option. And the twin sister that I grew up with wouldn't go for the easy option. Especially if it meant leaving me. And god, wasn't I selfish for thinking that.
"Do you really think that your witch friend destroyed the moonstone?" the vampire asked as I ceased pacing and stared at the back of my sister's head. Yes, Elena, do you really think that? Or am I fool for thinking that?
"I spoke with Bonnie," Ellie answered with a sigh. "I know that she had the help of another witch; who is very likely to be Elijah's witch, so no, I don't."
I closed my eyes and shook my head. Of course. How could I be so foolish? As if anything could possibly go right for us. That was one of my very few chances of saving my sister. And it was a bust.
"You really are determined to die, aren't you? To leave behind the people who love you the most," Rose sighed, closing her eyes. "At least I ran, you're not even trying."
And there it was. Because it's true. Elena was just giving up, she wasn't even trying to save herself. And I think that's what hurt the most. Because it's not as though she's fighting to survive, to stay with me. No, she was just… allowing herself to die.
"I'm so tired," the dying vampire murmured, pressing her face into the pillow.
"Get some sleep," I walked over to the bed and ran a hand through her hair. "If you need us, all you have to do is shout."
Smiling down at the sleeping vampire one last time, I turned and walked over to my sister.
"I guess we'd better go and have that conversation," I said quietly, glancing over at her.
"Yeah," she agreed slowly, looking like she was looking forward to it as much as I was.
Her hand reached out for mine but before she could link them, she hesitated. A small sigh leaving her, she let her hand drop back to her side. I had to bite my lip to stop myself from saying another. I longed desperately to reach out myself and grab her hand and never let go. But the same thing that stopped her, stopped me too. I just wasn't sure whether we were in a good enough place for me to do so.
"No, stop, wait," Rose murmured just as we were about to leave the room.
Elena and I exchanged glances before I called softly, "What is it, Rose?"
"Tell them to prepare the horses," she mumbled, shaking her head from side to side.
"It's ok, Rose," Ellie gently hushed her. "Just get some sleep. You'll feel better when you wake up."
But Rose was so caught up in whatever delirious dream she was having that she didn't hear her, "Trevor, don't be so stupid. You're never going to make it there before the sun."
"Rose?" I ventured as I slowly crept forward towards the bed, making sure to keep my idiot sister behind me. But when the sick vampire started to sit up, groaning in pain, I abandoned caution and shot forward.
"Alexa, Elena, I need more blood," she begged desperately as I sat behind her, supporting her.
Ellie picked up the glass and passed it over to the vampire, keeping her hands wrapped around the glass, "Here we go."
Rose managed to drink some of the blood before turning to the side and puking it all back up again. My first instinct was to cringe away, but I quickly fought it as I soothingly rubbed Rose's back, making sure to avoid touching her wound.
"Easy, sweetie," I murmured soothingly, unsure as to what else I could do.
"It's ok," Elena added, rushing over to the bathroom. "Everything's gonna be alright."
When she stopped heaving, I changed so that I was rubbing her arms. I had to admit that I was scared. I had absolutely no idea as to what I was doing and there was a very real chance that Rose was going to die. Yeah, I know that I've only known her for a short amount of time, but she's the sort of person who I could see myself becoming proper friends with. And I didn't want to lose yet another person.
One second I was running my hands over Rose's upper arms, the next, there was nothing in front of me. Rose had simply disappeared. Spinning around, I quickly glanced around the room in panic. But the sick vampire was nowhere to be seen.
"Ellie?" I called out cautiously, slowly climbing off the bed.
"Yeah?" Elena responded, walking back into the bedroom. Only to freeze as she saw that it was just me in the room. "Where's Rose?"
I threw my arms up in the air, "I dunno. One second she was there, the next, poof, no vampire."
"We've gotta find her," my twin declared as she began to walk over to where I stood by the bed.
"Well, yeah, no duh," I snorted before screaming out my sister's name as I saw movement behind her. "Ellie!"
Rose appeared behind my sister, her fangs out and a crazed look upon her face. My scream had alerted Ellie to the danger behind her. She spun around to face Rose but was quickly slammed against the wall.
"It's all your fault, Katerina," she snarled viciously, the veins beneath her eyes rippling. "You, Katerina, you did this."
"Rose, no!" I shrieked, rushing over as fast as I could. "Stop!"
"It's Elena, Rose," my sister gasped, trying to get the rabid vampire to see reason. "I'm Elena!"
But Rose was proving difficult to get through to as she growled, "You betrayed us!"
I wrapped my arms around her from behind and tried to tug her away from my sister. But even though she was dying, her vampire strength still won out against mine.
"Come on, Rose," I begged desperately into her ear as I tried to get her away from my twin. "It's Ellie, it's my Elena."
We were getting through to her, slowly, very slowly. But we were doing it.
"I'm not Katherine!" Elena added, finally breaking through to Rose.
Recognition dawned across Rose's face and she slowly let go of my sister. Once I was absolutely positive that she wouldn't reach out and grab her again, I released the vampire and quickly pushed herself between her and my twin.
"Elena?" Rose stuttered, slowly backing away. Reaching behind me, I wrapped my arms around my twin. I knew that she couldn't help it, but I couldn't… I was scared for my twin to be in the same room as the vampire. Guess it's just another reason for me to be uber paranoid about her safety.
"It's me," she reassured the dying vamp as she stepped forward and returned the hug. "It's Elena."
"Oh my god, Elena," Rose gasped heavily as her legs shook. "I'm so sorry. I don't know what's happening to me. I'm sorry."
"You're gonna be alright," Ellie was quick to reassure her. But she didn't even try to move from my side, obviously sensing that I needed her next to me. That I needed to make sure that she was alright.
"My mind, I'm…" the vampire trailed off, a lost look on her face. I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. What she was going through, it was awful. But even then, after what just happened, there was a seriously high chance that she would hurt my twin. Possibly even kill her. And I could never let that happen.
"It was just for a second," I let Elena take over the role of comforting the dying vampire. Just until I could allow myself to calm down and get a goddamn grip.
Rose must have sensed our hesitance in approaching her as she begged, "I'm sorry, please don't be scared of me."
I reluctantly released my grip on Ellie but I quickly grabbed onto her hand. Skin to skin contact with my twin was most likely the only thing keeping me sane at that moment.
"We're not, Rose," I tried to reassure her, smiling faintly. "Promise."
"You need to rest," Elena added, slowly moving forward towards the ill vampire. I had to resist the rather strong urge to pull her back towards me. But I managed to resist. Instead, I walked forward with her. And if I moved so that I was slightly in front of her, well, no one else commented on it.
Rose slowly climbed back on the bed and slid under the covers.
"I'm scared," she whimpered, looking up at us. Fear was clear in her eyes and my heart melted in sympathy.
"Easy, sweetie," I soothed, carefully sitting down next to her on the bed. "We're right here."
"You're not alone," Ellie crouched down on the floor, placing one hand on my knee.
The dying vampire shot up in a panic, "Here? Where's here?"
"Damon Salvatore's bedroom, Salvatore Boarding House, Mystic Falls," I gently eased her back down.
"I want to go home," At the vampire's whispered admission, my twin and I exchanged worried glances. I bit my lip. What could we possibly say? Fortunately, it was big sister to the rescue.
"Tell us about it," she smiled gently, rubbing her thumb across my knee.
Rose closed her eyes and smiled at the memory of her home, "St. Austell, 30 kilometers south of London. With fields and trees and horses."
"Sounds beautiful," Elena smiled, slightly tightening her grip on my knee. And it did. I could only imagine what it was like back then. No cars, no concrete. It must have been breath-taking.
"When you live long enough, everything disappears," the vampire mumbled, rolling onto her side. "So much time wasted, I just wish that I wouldn't have been so afraid."
That struck a chord in me. A deep, deep chord. Because I was afraid. Afraid of loving Damon. Afraid of losing him. Like I lost Luke. And I couldn't handle that. Not again. Especially if it was Damon who I lost. He's only been in my life for a short amount of time and yet… I don't want to imagine my life without him. He's become such a large part of it.
But I think that it would be even worse if I told him that I loved him and he didn't love me back. Because I would still lose him. I would still lose a close friend and confidante. But he would still be alive.
So yes, I was afraid. Just like Rose had been. I was so afraid. But I wasn't brave enough to fight my fear. I was a coward.
XXX
"What's on your mind, Lexa?"
I glanced up at my sister from where I had been staring at the clean sheets in my arms.
"Hm? Oh, nothing much," I replied before mumbling. "Nothing important."
"Alexa, you've been quiet ever since Rose fell asleep," Ellie placed the last sheet in my arms and we slowly made our way back to the dying vampire. "So, please, tell me what's wrong."
"I've just been… thinking on how much I could lose," I stared straight ahead, refusing to look my sister in the eye. Because she was one of those things that I was likely to lose. Her with her stupid martyr, self-sacrificing bullshit.
"Look, Alexa, I know that you don't agree with my choice," she sighed, correctly guessing my thoughts. "But I'm doing this to protect you."
I spun around so that I could look my idiot sister in the eye, "I don't need protecting, Ellie. You know what I do need? My twin sister. I need her in my life. I need…" I trailed off, unwilling to finish my sentence. Even if I was furious at her, I just couldn't place that on her. Because the way that that sentence ended… I need to be able to live without the guilt of being the one to cause my sister's death. Because if she died to protect me, then her death would be on me. It would be my fault.
"What is it that you need?" Elena prompted, moving to place her hand on my back.
"Never mind," I mumbled, dodging into the bedroom, avoiding my sister's hand. I couldn't accept her comfort. I couldn't allow her to help me because it will just make it worse later. I had to learn how to look after myself. Because if she died, I needed to be able to comfort myself, to look after myself… Aw man, who am I kidding? I won't be able to do that. I'll be a mess. An unstable mess.
But enough about me, we've got a dying vampire to look after, "Rose, sweetheart, we've brought you some lovely, clean sheets."
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see a hurt look on my sister's face. But I forced myself to ignore it. Because we had a bigger problem to deal with. Rose wasn't in the room.
"Rose?" Ellie asked, also having noticed the missing vampire who should have been sleeping. We exchanged worried glances before I dumped the sheets on the bed. We had to find her. It wasn't safe for her to be by herself.
"Sun's still up, so she's gotta be somewhere in the house, right?" I glanced at Elena as she went to check the bathroom. We both knew that she wasn't in there, but it didn't hurt to be thorough.
"That's all very well, but this is a big house…"
"And she could be anywhere," I finished, grumbling at the thought of looking for a sick vampire in this place. Why did they have to live in such a stupidly big house? Stupid Salvatore's.
We searched the upper level, but there was no sign of Rose. And that really worried me. Because what if she had another little freak-out? If she had disappeared from her bed, without searching for us, then surely something must be wrong.
"Stay by my side, Ellie," I whispered as we walked down the stairs.
Damn those protective twin instincts.
As we wandered into the library, I pulled out my phone and dialed a well memorized number. I let out a curse as I got Damon's answerphone. Of all the times to have his phone off, he picked now? Useless bloody Salvatore.
"Come home. Rose is getting worse and I'm getting even more worried. So please, come home. I… I need you."
Just knowing that she had heard every word that I had just said, I refused to look at my twin. I could feel a blush forming on my cheeks. Dang it.
The first thing that caught my attention when we wandered into the hallway was the fact that the door to the basement was open. Not that that was odd, but I could have sworn that it was shut when we took Rose upstairs earlier.
"Call me crazy," I muttered, pointing at the door. "But wasn't that shut earlier?"
"Yeah, it was…"
Ok, well, I guess now we had an idea as to where our missing vampire had gone. And, of course, it was the basement. Were they just drawn to basements or something? I hated basements.
I crept through the doorway first, quietly making my way down the stairs. Despite the fact that I was wondering on the line between scared and terrified, I would rather be the first one down than my sister. My life was expendable compared to hers.
"Rose?"
"Ellie, I don't like this." I didn't want to be here. I wanted to push my sister out of this house and take her somewhere safe where there was no dying, possibly crazy vampire. But I couldn't. Because Rose needed us.
"Alexa," Elena placed her hand on my shoulder. I looked back at her, only for her to point down to the ground. Following her finger, I saw what looked to be an empty blood bag with drops of blood surrounding it. Ellie scooped down and picked it up. Yep, definitely an empty blood bag, all covered in blood. Lovely.
"That's not good," I turned my gaze back towards the hallway in front of us. That was not a good sign. Not good at all.
The further that we walked, the more blood bags that we found. And my worry levels grew and grew and grew. Sort of like those old cartoon thermometers. I could just imagine one of those next to my head, rising and rising. But what we found at the end of the hallway made that thermometer practically explode.
Rose was sat on the floor in front of the blood bag fridge, surrounded by empty, torn open blood bags. Blood was smeared around her mouth and there was a crazed look in her feverish eyes. She was even paler than normal and her skin shone with sweat. All in all, it looked bad.
"Oh my god," Elena gasped quietly. Unfortunately, that immediately caught Rose's attention as her head snapped up to look at us. Not good. Not good. Not good.
A hateful look appeared on her face and she snarled, "Katerina."
Great, Katherine wasn't even around and she's still gonna get my twin killed. But hopefully it'll be just as easy to break Rose out of this trance as it was last time.
I moved so that I was stood directly in front of Elena as Rose climbed to her feet. I knew that I wouldn't be able to do much to stop her if she attacked, but I could give my twin a few more seconds in which to escape.
"Ellie, run. Run!"
We bolted back down the corridor, pulling down cupboards and shelving units as we went. Anything to slow the rabid vampire down. I made sure to keep myself between Ellie and Rose. Like I said, rather me than her.
My heart pounded and I could barely breathe. My mind had gone numb from fear. The only thing that keep me going was the mantra going through my thoughts; 'Look after Ellie. Keep her alive. Keep her safe.'
It wasn't until we reached the living room that Rose caught up with us. There was no sign of recognition in her gaze. Only anger. Fangs bared, she slowly moved towards us.
"Rose, stop," Elena pleaded as I pushed her back behind me. "Stop, its Elena. I'm not Katherine."
She paused. Confusion replaced anger as she stared at us. I dared to let out a sigh of relief. Please, please, let it be this easy. Let her recognize us. But of course, life was never easy for us.
"You're hallucinating. I'm not Katherine," Ellie repeated, moving from the safety of behind me to my side. "I'm not Katherine."
It was as though the mere mention of Katherine's name sent her spiraling back into madness. Before either of us could react, she blurred forward and pushed my sister to the floor. She tried to sink her fangs into Ellie's neck. Elena pushed her hands up, trying to keep the teeth away from her neck.
My heart just about stopped. It was as though all the blood had drained from my head as I started to feel dizzy. All I could focus on was the rabid vampire trying, and almost succeeding, to kill my sister. But Ellie's pleading broke me out of my horrified trance.
"Shit!"
I knew that I would have no hope in hell in pulling Rose off of my twin. But fortunately for us, Rose had attacked Ellie right in front of one of the windows. Damon had closed all of the curtains earlier, to make it easier for Rose to move around but I could see the sun shining through the cracks around the edge. I dashed forward and flung the curtains open.
Rose screamed as the sun hit her bare shoulders. While she was distracted, I grabbed Elena's arm and pulled her off of the floor. We ran for the front door, escape the only thing on our minds. The small journey felt like it lasted hours. My heart pounded in my chest as I shoved my sister ahead of me, desperation the only thing keeping me moving.
But when we reached the door, I suddenly found myself flying backwards. I hit the ground hard, my skull bouncing off the ground. I laid there, dazed. My head pounded in time with my heartbeat. My stomach rolled as the edges of my vision darkened.
Slowly, oh god not slow enough, I lifted myself up so that I was leaning on my elbows. I bit back a whimper as my head spun and the pounding increased its tempo. But the sight that greeted me hurt more than the bump on the head.
Ellie was pressed against the door, barely stopping the rabid vampire from sinking her fangs deep into her neck. Swallowing back the bile, I pushed myself to my feet and staggered forward. I placed all my focus, all my energy, on saving my twin. I used it to keep my feet moving, to keep my legs steady(ish).
I couldn't think of a way to get Rose off of my sister, so I did what was probably the most disgusting thing ever. I dug my fingers into the wound on her back. She let out an agonized screech and fell to the side. Elena pushed past her at my urging and ran for the stairs. She glanced back at me and I shouted, "Ellie, run! Go to Stefan's room, I'm right behind you."
She nodded and bolted up the stairs. But I knew that I wouldn't make it up the stairs. So I lied to her. As long as my twin was safe, I didn't care. Turning, I saw Rose look at me with a deranged look in her eye. Ok, maybe I didn't want to die just yet.
Despite the pounding in my head and my rolling stomach. I ran down the hallway and into the library. My hope was to escape through the back exit. But as I reached the fireplace, strong hands gripped my upper arms and spun me around. I knew what she was going to do before she did it.
"No. Please. Rose. Don't. Please. Please. Rose, stop. No. No. No."
I choked on a scream as her fangs bit deep into my neck. It hurt. It hurt so, so bad. She greedily gulped down my blood as she ripped my neck open, flesh tearing and blood pouring down my chest. Please. Damon, save me. Someone, please, help. Please. No, no, no.
"Rose, stop," I sobbed, weakly pushing my hands against her. "Please, don't do this to me. No. Stop. Stop."
Why? Why was she doing this to me? She's my friend. She can't. I don't wanna die. Please. Somebody save me.
Choking on my tears, I couldn't fight anymore. I gave into the battle for consciousness and allowed darkness to consume me.
XXX
Elena's POV
Night had fallen.
I sat there, with my stake in hand, anxiously watching the door. Alexa hadn't followed me like she had promised. I could only hope that she had made it out of the front door while Rose was distracted. God, I didn't know what I would do if anything happened to her. I needed her to be ok, she had to be ok. I even made a stupid deal with Elijah so that she would be ok.
The house had been silent for several hours. The pit of worry in my stomach steadily grew and grew. The knowledge that something was wrong buzzed around my brain. It was like some deep, innate instinct was screaming at me that something was not right.
Unable to stay in the room any longer, I climbed to my feet and pulled the dresser away from the door. I had to find out what happened to my little twin. Carefully, I unlocked the door, wincing at the loud click of the lock. I opened the door and crept down the stairs. My stake was held up in the air in front of me, ready to use if the situation called for it.
There was no sign of Rose as I made my way to the main staircase. But even more worryingly, there was no sign of Alexa. Damnit, she said that she would be right behind me. Why didn't she follow me? Oh god, I hope she's alright. I didn't care if she has a stupid magic ring that would bring her back from a supernatural death. She shouldn't have to go through it in the first place. I didn't think that I can ever forget the time that Katherine killed her. She was a mess for days after and I couldn't bear it if she had to suffer like that again. It's my job to keep her safe. I'm her older sister. Brilliant job that I was doing. Not only had she been attacked by vampires, because of me, she had also been murdered by my crazy doppelganger.
The parlor was empty of both twin and vampire. And that made me even more worried. Where could they be? As I looked around for any sign of my sister, I noticed the open front door. Please, please, let that mean that Alexa got away. That she was safe.
I slowly moved towards the door, stake held high. I couldn't see anything outside. But the fact that I was dark was worrisome enough. Because that meant that Rose could now go outside. Oh Alexa, please be inside somewhere. Please be at home.
Some deep survival instinct screamed at me to turn around, that there was someone behind me. Spinning around, I saw Damon standing behind me, a confused look on his face. I gave a strangled sigh of relief and lowered the stake. At least now I had an in control vampire on my side. One that would do anything to protect my sister.
"Are you ok?" he frowned, his eyes flickering down to the stake in my hand. "Where's Rose?"
I opened my mouth to tell him that no, I was not ok. I was terrified out of my wits and I was just about drowning in worry. And that I didn't know where Rose was. But before I could, he asked, "Where's Alexa?"
He didn't even bother trying to hide the panic in his voice. His gaze darted about the room, almost as though he was hoping that she would suddenly leap out from behind a piece of furniture. The sad thing was, that was actually quite likely. If she had been in the room, that was.
"I don't know," I admitted in a whisper. And that just killed me. I should always know where my idiot little twin was. I should always know that she was safe. She should always be safe. It was my job to keep her safe.
"Damnit," Damon muttered viciously. He closed his eyes and focused. It was almost as though he was… sensing her? Listening for her? Whatever it was that he was doing, I only hoped that it worked.
"No. No. No."
The vampire's eyes shot open in panic and he shot off in the direction of the library. Almost choking on the feeling of dread that was creeping up my throat, I quickly followed him. I entered the library only for my heart to stop. I collapsed to my knees as my breath got stuck in my throat. My world was destroyed. Gone. And it was all my fault.
Damon sat in front of the fireplace, cradling the body of my beautiful baby twin. Her bright green eyes were closed and blood covered her neck and top. Judging from the look on Damon's face, she was dead.
Letting out a sob, I dragged myself to my feet and staggered over. I dropped to the ground next to them. With a shaking hand, I reached out and gently picked up my sister's hand. Holding it to my cheek, I let out a fresh wave of sobs at the cold feel of it.
There was only one explanation. This was my fault. While I was a coward and fled to safety, my baby sister was down here being killed. I shouldn't have left her. I should have protected her. I should have forced her to come with me. It's my fault.
"She's wearing her ring."
At the sound of Damon's voice, thick with tears, I opened my eyes and looked at him. He stared down at her, looking as devastated as I did. With a shaking hand, he gently wiped away the tear tracks on her cheeks. The only sign that she died terrified.
As his words finally registered, I looked down at her hand to see that hideous Gilbert ring. I felt a flutter of hope. She was gonna be ok. She was gonna wake up. She was going to live.
"You've never seen her like this before, have you?"
He glanced over at me before returning his gaze to Alexa's face, "No. Last time she… The last time that this happened, she told me about it. I have seen many dead bodies in my time. But none have been as awful as this one. This is Alexa, she should never be like this."
"How long until she wakes up?"
"I don't know, but it should be soon."
It had to be soon. Even though we had to go and find Rose, neither of us wanted to move. Looking after Alexa was more important. Rose could wait until she had woken up. Until she was alive. Until she was back with us.
As the warmth returned to her body, we knew that it wouldn't be long until Alexa was returned to us. But neither of us were expecting her to suddenly shoot up, gasping for breath. My baby sister stared at us, trembling and breathing heavily as tears filled her eyes.
She was alive.
XXX
Alexa's POV
Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. I died. Again. I just died again. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god.
"Alexa?"
I turned my head to the side, eyes wide, to see my sister looking at me. There was a worried look on her face and… was that a hint of guilt that I saw? Why should she feel guilty? There's no reason for her to feel guilty. There was nothing that she could have done. Unless that's the reason why she feel guilty, because she wasn't there. But I was the one who told her to run. To get to safety. To hide. Stupid sister feeling guilty. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
"Alexa, are you ok?"
"Just peachy," I laughed, with just a hint of hysteria in my voice. "A-Ok, fine, wonderful, amazing, delightful, incredible, marvelous."
I think that I should probably stop now. Yeah, I should probably stop now. I'm gonna stop. Stopping now. But seriously, what a stupid question. I just died. Died! And she asks me if I'm ok? What kind of stupid, idiotic, moronic question is that? I mean, who the hell would be ok after they just died? Nobody normal, that's for sure. Dying and being brought back by a magic ring isn't normal. Despite what Ric and Uncle John said. It was unnatural. But everything in our lives was unnatural at the moment. So it kind of fit, I guess. What was I saying? Oh god, Alexa, just breath.
Biting my lip, I pressed my face in the crook of Damon's neck. Because who else would be the person holding me? In who else's arms would I feel as safe as I do now? Safe. I was safe. He would protect me. But he didn't protect me earlier. No, that's not his fault. He wasn't here. It wasn't supposed to happen. Rose wasn't supposed to attack us. Poor Rose. Where was Rose? I didn't see her there when I woke up.
"Where's Rose?" I mumbled, curling my fingers into the leather of Damon's jacket as I pulled myself closer to his strong body.
My vampire and my twin exchanged worried glances. I took deep breaths, allowing Damon's comforting sense to completely envelop me. Safe. Safe. Safe. Remember Alexa, you are safe.
"We don't know," Ellie finally admitted as she grabbed my hand to give it a squeeze.
Oh hell, I wasn't safe. How could they not know? How could they not know where the crazy, dying vampire was? No, we had to find her. I could focus on myself later, when I was alone. I could breakdown later. Finding Rose and helping her was more important than my impending breakdown.
"We need to find her," I said, forcing myself to sound strong and determined. That was difficult, especially since I felt nothing like that. But Rose shouldn't be alone right now. She needed to be safe and secure and comfortable.
"No, Alexa, you need to rest," my dearest twin protested as I reluctantly left the warmth of Damon's arms.
"Sorry twin, but we need to find Rose," I shook my head before adding. "Please, Ellie, I need to do this. I have to keep my mind off of… what happened. And this is the best way for me to do so. Please?"
I stared her in the eye, allowing her to see the desperation that I felt. Damon's leather jacket brushed against my bare arms as he wrapped his arm around my waist. As his strong body settled behind mine, I allowed myself to relax against it. While I had to convince my twin that I was strong enough to do this, I knew that I didn't need to bother with Damon. He already knew exactly how I felt and he would do anything to help me.
"Ok," she nodded, grabbing my hand again. "Let's go find Rose."
While we walked to the door, Damon's phone began to ring.
I briefly wondered if he had received my call from earlier. If that was the reason that he came home. Or if he was on his way home anyway. I didn't know which scenario I wanted more. But I suppose that I was just glad that he did come home. That he came back to me.
"Rose is at the school," my vampire announced as he ended the call.
"How do you know that?" Ellie asked. I allowed her to ask while I focused on the fingers that were gently stroking my hip.
"The sheriff called me to tell me that a body was found there, drained of blood and just left out in the open," he sighed, running his free hand through his hair.
"Isn't that party barbecue thing on at the school tonight?" I wondered out loud, causing the two on either side of me to look at me.
"Yeah, it is," Elena realized, her eyes going wide with horror at thought of the number of possible victims.
Poor Rose, being surrounded by so many bodies full of blood. It must be bad when at full health. But as sick as she was, it must be agony for her. And it won't be long until she lost all restraint and attacked again. And that poor person won't have a magic ring to bring them back to life.
We had to hurry.
XXX
I let out a shuddering breath and shivered in the night air. Pulling Damon's shirt closer, I closed my eyes and inhaled his comforting scent. He had given me one of his tops before we left the Boarding House. After all, I couldn't go around in my top which had been soaked in my blood. Nope, that would have drawn a lot of unwanted attention. The blood on my neck had been easy to wipe off, even if Damon did offer to lick it off himself. The dick. But it did make me smile, which I guess was his intention.
That's it Alexa, think happy thoughts. Think Damon thoughts. Do not think about the Incident That Must Not Be Mentioned Part 2. You can't break down now, wait until you get home. Wait until you are safe and sound in your beloved bed.
Ellie wrapped her arm around my shoulder as she got out her phone. Well, I suppose that one good thing has come out of this evening, my twin and I were no longer disagreeing. And I wasn't mad at her anymore. Of course, it probably wouldn't last for long. But it was nice. And I wanted to enjoy it for as long as I could.
"Hey, Stefan, it's me. I don't know where you are but please call me. It's important."
Huh, guess dear old Stefan wasn't answering his phone. Tut tut, Stefan, very naughty. With all the bullshit that went on in this town, answering ones phone was a must. And Stefan knew that, as he frequently lectured me on it.
I knew the exact moment that my vampire had returned to us as a comforting arm slid around my waist and I found myself being pulled against a firm chest. Elena moved her arm, giving me a comforting smile at the same time.
Ellie must have had a one track mind as the first thing that she said to Damon was, "Have you heard from him? Do you know what he's up to?"
Jesus, Elena, give him a moment. He's only just got here. She can be such a rude twin sometimes, I honestly didn't know how I put up with her.
"My baby brother is not exactly my top priority right now," Damon answered, digging inside his coat with one hand. He pulled out two wooden stakes. Right now, I'm honestly not surprised by that. I think that it should be mandatory in this town to carry wooden stakes with them at all times. Hmm, that reminds me, I needed to get my hands on one. Not right now though, I was not in the right frame of mind to be handing sharp weapons.
"Take this," he ordered my sister, passing her one of the stakes. She didn't look too happy but she took it anyway. I guess my death had forced her to realize exactly how dangerous the situation was. Damon went to give me the other stake before changing his mind at the last second. Guess he must have seen the trembling in my hands.
Damnit Alexandria, keep it together.
"Come on, let's go."
I held on to Ellie with one hand while I clung on to Damon with the other. Deep breaths Alexa, you can do this. Aw hell. I couldn't do this. No, that's not the attitude to have.
Damon used his super vampire hearing to track down Rose. It really was helpful, that super hearing of his. He must not have liked whatever it was that he heard because he was soon hurrying us along. That worried me. What could he be hearing that worried Damon enough to hurry us along like that?
When we were close to the school parking lot, Damon released his hold on me and blurred forward. Elena and I exchanged glances before running after him. I gritted my teeth as we ran. Every instinct in my body was screaming at me to turn back. To run in the opposite direction. To get the hell away. But I couldn't. Listening to that instinct would be wrong. And while I may, at times, be a coward, this was not one of those times. My friend needed me and I would not abandon her.
The scene that we found was that of Damon pinning Rose to the ground. There were two bodies in the background, a man and a woman's. Oh god, they looked only a couple of years older than me, if that. More death. More innocent lives taken.
Rose struggled fiercely, blood smeared around her mouth. His blood. Her blood. My blood… Her fangs were out and she looked worse than she did earlier. As much as she terrified me at that moment in time, I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. This injury had utterly destroyed her. This was not the vampire who had helped me to fight for my twin. This was not my friend. The werewolf bite had eaten her sanity, her mind. And what was left was the basic vampire instinct, to feed.
"Rose, Rose!" Damon shouted desperately, trying to get his friend, our friend, to see sense. To come back to us. "It's me, it's Damon. It's Damon."
His words must have had an effect as her face slowly returned to normal. The insanity that clouded her eyes faded away until she became Rose again. A horrified look appeared on her face as she looked over to the car.
"Did I do this?" she gasped, staring at the bodies of her victims. Tears starts to form and fall as she frantically shook her head. "I never meant to hurt anyone. I never wanted to hurt anyone."
"I know," Damon sighed sadly as he slowly loosened his grip on her wrists.
My eyes burned as I tried to hold back the tears. The desperation, the agony, in her voice, it squeezed my heart. But I lost my battle with my tears when Rose looked over at us. Her green eyes locked with mine and the tears slowly fell.
"I'm sorry, Alexa," she sobbed and the crack in her voice just broke my heart. "I'm so so sorry."
"It's ok," I tried to reassure her, I just couldn't bear to hear her pain.
"Come on, let's get you home," Damon carefully moved to her side, letting go of her wrists as he did so.
"No, I don't have a home, I haven't had a home in so long," her body stared to shake from the force of her tears. Her words struck a special place in me. She didn't have any home, any family. Rose truly was alone. And all I wanted to do was hug her and never let go. "Oh make it stop, please make it stop! I hate it, make it stop!"
Damon gently lifted her into his arms, a look of complete despair on his face. I think that it was then that I realized the heart wrenching truth. There was no cure for Rose. If there was, Damon would have told her, told us. He wouldn't allow her to remain in agony for a second longer.
I had only known Rose for a short amount of time, but in that time she had quickly become my friend. And now I was going to lose her. Rose didn't deserve this. We ruined her. The stupid Petrova line, staring with Katherine and ending with us, had destroyed her. Katherine's the reason why she was on the run for the past 500 years, why she got involved with us. And her involvement with us had led to her death. For that was the only way that this could end. Death comes for us all, sooner or later. But I fear that for the people that I loved in this accursed town, it will be sooner instead of later.
XXX
Ellie still had hope. Hope that this would work out. I didn't have the heart to tell her. She deserved to have a little hope. She needed to have hope, then maybe she can hope when it came to her stupid situation. But she would soon wise up. It wouldn't take her long now to realize what the only way to save Rose was. God I felt sick.
I entered the bedroom first, Elena close behind me. Rose was curled up in Damon's bed with him sitting on the edge. Both vampires turned to look at us as we entered. I could tell that Damon didn't want us here, but he knew that we needed to say goodbye. That I needed to say goodbye. And there was one other thing that I had to do.
"Heya Rose," I smiled softly, digging my fingers into my palms so that I would not cry. Damnit she needed me to be strong. And strong I would be.
"I'm so sorry, Alexa," Rose whispered as I approached the bed. I took a seat in front of Damon and grabbed her hand. Entwining her fingers with mine, I gave them a squeeze.
"Hey, don't worry about it," I said firmly, staring her in the eye so that she could see that I meant it. "You were not in your right mind, Rose, and it was not your fault." She didn't look convinced, so I added, "I do not, in any way whatsoever, blame you. Nor am I angry at you."
And it was true. I felt no anger towards her. Why should I? Yeah, ok, she did kill me. But so did Katherine. And unlike Rose, Katherine wanted to kill me and she was perfectly aware of what she was doing. Rose was infected from a werewolf bite and we had no idea as to what the consequences of that were. If she were in control, I know that she would never have laid a fang on me without my permission. So she had no reason to blame herself.
She must have seen how much that I meant my words as she looked at my sister, who hovered by the bed.
"I don't like taking human life," she said weakly. "I never have. It's the worst part about it: the hunt, the need to kill, the thirst, the please that it brings you afterwards. I wasn't meant to be evil. It hurts."
Her grip on my hand tightened with every word that she spoke. But I didn't have it in me to remove my hand. She needed the comfort that it brought and I wasn't about to take that away from her. Not now, not after everything that she had been through.
"So stop talking about it," Damon huffed softly, his hand coming to rest on my hip. He felt exactly like I did. Helpless and tired and heartbroken. But he used his sarcastic comments and humor to hide his feelings. Which was something that I just couldn't do. I didn't have the strength for that. I was too tired.
"Damon's a lot like me," Rose allowed a small smile to form on her face. "He wants to care but when he does, he runs away from it."
And ain't that the truth. Not that I could talk. How long have I admitted to myself that I love him? And what had I done about that? Nothing, absolutely nothing. I've cared for him for even longer and yet… I just find it so hard to admit it.
"I'm sorry for what I've done today."
"I know," Ellie smiled softly, crouching down in front of her. I would have spoken up too, but she needed to hear it from Elena. She needed to know that neither of us blame her for what happened today.
"And you need to fight," the dying vampire looked my twin straight in the eye and spoke the words that she needed to hear. "I know that you're scared but you have to do it anyway."
But before she could continue, a deep, hacking cough burst from her throat. She groaned in pain and curled her body up tighter. I squeezed the hand still in my grasp while Ellie placed her hand under her cheek. We both eased Rose through the coughing fit.
"Why are you so nice to me?" she breathed, glancing between us.
"Us humans," Elena replied, her thumb stroking her cheek.
"You can never forget it, what it's like to be human," Rose smiled fondly, closing her eyes, "It haunts me. It's the only thing that's kept me going."
That's… oh god. Oh Rose. I bit my lip, damnit it girl, you will not cry.
"It doesn't hurt as much anymore," she sighed, seemingly a peace.
But that peace didn't last for long.
All of a sudden, Rose arched her back and let out a piercing scream. It was as though all of her agony was forced into that scream to show the world just how much pain she was in. She released my hand and Ellie quickly pulled me up from the bed. Damon moved forward, his hands settling on her upper arms.
"What do we do?" Elena begged Damon, just as unable to see Rose in this much pain as I was.
"Go," he ordered, his gaze focused on his screaming friend.
It was then that Ellie realized. She realized how this would end. The only way that it could end. "Damon…"
"Just go," he didn't beg, but he was close to it. One look at his face told me just how much pain this brought him. I knew what he had to do now. And the thought of doing it just about broke him.
Elena must have seen this too as she just nodded and ushered me out of the door. Despite my commands to myself, despite the fact that my palms had little groves in them from my nails, despite the fact that I had bitten through my lip, tears slowly stared from my eyes. This was the end. This was goodbye.
Goodbye Rose, goodbye my friend.
XXX
Tyler's POV
Taking a deep breath, I opened the door to the Grill and made my way inside. I looked around for the person who had invited me to dinner. Ah, there she was. Uncle Mason's friend Jules. She had asked to meet me here. I didn't know why but I guess that's what I'm about to find out.
"Thank you for coming," Jules smiled at me as I sat down at her table.
"So what do you want from me?" I asked, sitting on the edge of my seat, resting my hands on the table. I didn't bother with being polite back. I just wanted to get out of here and go home. Maybe call Alex round and have a movie marathon with her. It's been far too long since we last had a proper movie marathon.
"Just to be your friend," she answered, ignoring my rudeness. "Mason would have wanted that."
I didn't know what Mason would have wanted. He's never mentioned anyone called Jules, unless he met her during the past two years. But even then, he probably would have mentioned her while he was here.
Jules was silent for a moment before looking me in the eye, "I know about Mason and you."
I froze. I knew that I shouldn't have reacted but I couldn't help it. My only hope was that she knew something else about me and Mason. And not, y'know, the werewolf thing.
"You know what?" I asked suspiciously, trying to deflect her attention away from my momentary lapse of composure.
Jules glanced around before leaning closer, "I know that you're a werewolf and I know that your little friend Caroline is a vampire. And I also know that your 'little sister' spends her time consorting with vampires."
What. The. Hell? How could she possibly know? She couldn't know. It's just not possible. Unless… no, she couldn't be… could she?
"How do you know about Caroline and Alexa?" I growled, feeling my protective instincts flair at thought of not only the girl that I kissed earlier being in danger but my sweet little Alex being in danger too.
"You can't sniff them out? You can't detect that foul stench everywhere?" she frowned, looking surprised. It was almost as though a werewolf was capable of that. Not that I would know. Due to Mason's status as missing, I was forced to work this whole thing out on my own. Because I would not trust the woman sitting in front of me to help. Especially if she threatened the people that I cared about.
I stayed silent, allowing her to draw her own conclusions. Her mind whirled as her eyes studied me. I held my body stiffly and kept my expression as neutral as was possible. Whatever conclusion it was that she reached, it had leaning back in shock.
"Oh my god," she breathed, carefully placing her hands on mine. "You're brand new. How many times have you turned?"
I maintained my silence but I didn't move my hands. To do so would look suspicious.
"Hey, I can help you," Jules leaned forward again, looking a helluva lot more friendly this time.
I was torn. On one hand, I wanted to completely ignore her and leave. But… despite my conviction to not trust her, she could help me. She would be able to help me figure this whole thing out. I wouldn't be alone during the turns, I would have someone who completely understood what I was going through right next to me. Alexa and Caroline would want that for me, wouldn't they? They would want me to get all the help that I could with this curse. But maybe she could also help me with…
I leant forward, "Do you know where Mason is?"
"He's dead, Tyler," she answered bluntly, not bothering to sugar-coat her words. "He was murdered."
I shot back in shock. No, he couldn't be dead. My Uncle Mason couldn't be dead. It just wasn't possible. No. I refuse to believe it.
"No," I shook my head. It was not true. It was not true. No. He couldn't be dead.
"You want to know who murdered him?"
"Just stop!" I snapped, pulling hands away and moving to get up.
But her next words froze me, "Your little blond vampire and your sweet little sister did."
I felt sick to the stomach. That could not be true. I vehemently shook my head, "No, Caroline would never do this. Alexa would never do this. She loved Mason like an uncle. He was like family to her."
"Them and their little vampire friends were behind it, Tyler," Jules practically hissed.
My mind went straight to the Salvatore brothers, Stefan and Damon. Alexa had accidently told me that they were vampires. What if they… No, I had to hide my knowledge of them. For Alexa's sake. The last thing that she needed right now was to lose her vampires. Especially Damon. Even if she was being an idiot and not admitting to loving him. No matter how much I would hate them if they truly did kill Mason, I wouldn't let them get hurt.
"Caroline is the only vampire in town and Alexa has nothing to do with this," I growled, praying that it would convince her.
"Is that what they told you?" Jules scoffed, shaking her head. "They lied, this town is crawling with vampires but don't worry, we'll get them."
It felt as though a bucket of ice had been dumped down my back. Who was she talking about and what are they going to do?
"Who are you?" I breathed out.
"I'm your friend," Jules answered, her tone hard. "There are others like us and they're on their way."
They were all in danger. I had to help them. I had to… But, if they did kill Mason, wasn't it my duty as his nephew, his family, to avenge him? Oh god, what do I do?
XXX
Alexa's POV
Elena had tried taking me home. Where we could both forget about this horrible day. But I couldn't. Not yet. I had to check on Damon. There was no way in hell that he would be ok. And I couldn't just leave him on his own at a time like this. For once, he was the one who needed comforting and what sort of person would I be if I left him? So I stopped her halfway down the road to the Boarding house and climbed out of the car. Ellie had tried to stop me but I think that she realized what I had to do.
I stood there and watched as her headlights faded away in the dark. I suppose that it was then that I realized just how numb I felt. Not only had I died today, for the second time, I had lost a friend. But yet, I barely felt anything. No pain, no sadness, no anger. But I just knew that it was all waiting to come crashing down on me at the same time. Along with all of my feelings from Elena's determination to sacrifice herself, my feelings on Tyler's curse and all my feelings from all the other crap that I've been put through recently.
Damon wasn't at home when I let myself in. my mind oh so helpfully pointed out that he was probably out burying Rose's body. I told my mind to shut the hell up. I didn't need to think about that. Nope.
Walking over to the drink's table, I poured out a healthy glass of scotch. It wasn't for me, as much as I wanted to just drink the table dry. No, it was for Damon. Because he would sure as hell need it. Even so, I gazed longingly at the bottles. I caught myself just before I reached out for one. No, I couldn't. Damnit Alexa be strong. I picked up Damon's glass and went and sat on one of the sofas. While I didn't know how long Damon would be, I knew that I would wait for him. No matter how long, I would wait. For him, I would wait.
As I stared into the fire, memories of earlier that day crept upon me. Well, one memory in particular. The memory of when I… No, don't Alexa, don't think it, don't say it. Not yet. You needed to stay strong and you can't do that if you allow yourself to think about that. Maybe if I tell myself that enough times, it'll start to sink in.
When I heard the sound of the door opening, I kept my gaze on the fire in front of me. I knew that it was Damon returning home. Carefully swirling the glass in my hand, I closed my eyes as a warm hand settled on my shoulder.
"I thought you'd left," Damon sighed as he stood beside me.
I rested my cheek against his hand and simply said, "I came back."
"Thank you."
I scooted along the sofa, creating a space for Damon to sit next to me. As he settled beside me, I passed him his glass. Sliding his hand down my arm, he grasped my hand and just sat together. With the warmth at my back, I took the chance to see just how much this whole situation was affecting my vampire. It was the pain in his eyes which hurt the most. Rose was his friend, one of the few. And now she was gone. By his own hand, no less.
"I just wanted to say," I began softly, stroking his knuckles with my thumb. "That I know what it's like to lose someone that you care about. So if you need to vent, rant, talk or even just argue with someone, I'm here. I'll always be here for you, Damon."
"I know you will, Alexa."
He placed his empty glass to one side before pulling me against him. I rested my head against his chest while he rested his chin on my head. One hand stroked my thigh while the other clung onto my hand. Whether he was comforting me or himself, it didn't matter. All that mattered was that he wasn't alone.
"I'm just glad that this day is nearly over," Damon admitted softly into my hair. I couldn't agree more with that statement. This had been a horrible, horrible day. One that I wanted to forget but I knew that I would never be able to.
"I know exactly what you mean," I mumbled aloud, almost without meaning to.
"But it wasn't just Rose's death. You died, Alexa, you died again."
I tried to swallow around the lump in my throat but I just couldn't. He felt… guilty… over my death. He shouldn't feel guilty. It wasn't his fault, there was nothing that he could have done. He wasn't here. And neither of us were expecting Rose to do what she did.
"I know I did, Damon," I sighed quietly. "But you don't need to worry about that right now, about me. Don't forget, I have my super-duper magic ring to bring me back."
His hand squeezed my thigh, causing me to look up at him, "You can't keep relying on that. What if one day it didn't work? I can't… I can't lose you too, Alexa."
"You won't," I promised with a small, fragile smile. "You'll never lose me, Damon. No matter what happens, you will never lose me."
"And I promise you the same, Alexa. No matter what, you'll never lose me."
"Good," I breathed, nestling in closer. A small smile formed on my lips as I felt Damon press a kiss to the top of my head. I loved it when he did that. When he relaxed enough to allow himself to do that sort of stuff.
We sat there in silence for a while, just enjoying each other's company. But something was bothering me. And that was the hurt and the guilt in my Damon's eyes. I hated to see him hurt, it broke my heart.
But would he want to talk about it? Or would he want to push all his hurt into a little box and not think or talk about it? No, he couldn't do that. He needed to let it out. To let it go.
"You're hurting," I stated softly, keeping my gaze on the fire. His body grew still beneath me and I became worried that he was closing himself off. No, I won't let him do that. Not to me. Not. To. Me. "That's ok, you know. Rose was your friend and you cared about her. Even if you don't want to admit it, I know that you did."
"In the same way that you know that I'm upset?"
I didn't have to look up to know that there were tears forming in his eyes. The thickness of his voice told me all that I needed to know.
"Yeah, the exact same way," I choked out. Great and now I was crying. "You can admit that to me, Damon. I don't care if you feel or not, I don't care if you decide to just turn it all off. Just know that you can always be honest with me. You can always tell me the truth."
I brushed my tears away with my thumb but they just kept coming. Why was I crying? I had to stop crying. Damnit Alexa, just stop crying.
"It was supposed to be me. Jules was coming after me."
I buried my face in his chest as I mumbled, "And so you blame yourself for Rose's death. You feel guilty for what happened to her."
"That would be human of me, Alexa, and we can't forget that I'm not human."
There was a sad sort of acceptance in his voice. And it twisted my stomach to hear it.
"I don't care about that. You are perfect that way you are, Damon Salvatore," turning, I sat on his lap and cupped his face, a sudden desperation fueling me. "Listen to me, I don't care if you are human or not. It's what's inside that matters to me. And inside you I see a good man. I…" love you, "I care about you, Damon. Don't you ever forget that."
"Oh Alexa," my Damon sighed, stroking my face with his hand, his thumb brushing my lip. We were so close, our faces inches apart. All I had to do was lean forward. I didn't need to fight it anymore. I could just tell him how I feel, tell him that I loved him. And I didn't know if it was my desperate hope talking, but it almost looked as though he wanted to kiss me to.
But the moment was broken when he smiled sadly and said, "You'd best be getting home. Before your crazy twin tracks you down."
It was as though a balloon had been filled up in my chest as a strange hollowness filled me. But I couldn't let him see. So I slapped on a smile and nodded, "I'll see you tomorrow, Damon."
Reaching forward, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and gave him a tight hug. I buried my face in his neck and enjoyed the feel of his arms around me.
"Goodnight, Alexa."
"Goodnight, Damon."
Getting up and walking out of that house was one of the hardest things that I have ever done. I don't think I'll ever know how I managed it. Nor do I know how I managed to get home. It was as though everything was a blur.
Walking through my front door, I was extremely surprised to see Uncle John walking out of the kitchen. I glanced behind me, almost convinced that I was either hallucinating or I had managed to get myself transported to the past.
"Uncle John? What are you doing here?" I asked, shutting the front door behind me.
"I came back with Stefan, he hoped that I would be able to help Elena," he answered, walking over to me.
"And can you?" I winced at the amount of desperate hope that was in my voice.
"Yes," he smiled at me, pushing my fringe out of my face. I closed my eyes and leaned into the touch. I guess that I was just happy to have my uncle, my family, home. But not matter how happy I felt in that moment, I could feel my imminent break down fast approaching.
"I'm kinda exhausted, so I'm gonna head up to bed," I gave my uncle a hug. "See you tomorrow, Uncle John."
"Sweet dreams, Alexa."
I could feel his eyes on me with every step that I took up the stairs. Fortunately, I managed to hold onto my tears until I had closed and locked my bedroom door behind me. Sliding down to the floor, I buried my face in my knees and let go of the tears.
I had died today.
XXX
Damon's POV
Alexa was home safe. She was safe. She was alive. And yet, all I could see in my mind was her body lying in my library. Her dead body. My darling Alexa had died. And I wasn't there to save her. Just like I couldn't save Rose. Why do I care? I didn't want to care. I didn't want to feel.
I laid there, in the middle of the road, staring up at the stars. I couldn't deny it anymore. I couldn't deny any of it. It was all there, bubbling beneath the surface. Waiting to come out.
As the sound of a car approaching reached me, I closed my eyes and sighed. The car came to a stop before it hit me and the sound of a door opening soon followed.
"Sir, are you ok?" I opened my eyes to see a pretty young girl crouching over me. She couldn't have been much older than Alexa. Still so young, still so innocent. "What happened?"
"I'm…" I searched for the right word. "Lost."
The girl glanced around, a confused look on her face, "You're lying in the middle of the road?"
An obvious answer, delivered with much naivety and innocence. Just like my sweet Alexa would have done. Although she probably would have added a touch more sarcasm. If only to cover her true emotions.
I shook my head, "Not that kind of lost." As I sat up, the girl carefully backed away a couple of steps. Clever girl. Clever, clever girl. Not clever enough to keep on driving. But she wasn't yet jaded by the world. "Metaphorically, existentially."
"Do you need help?" she asked cautiously, glancing around.
Maybe she could help me.
"Well, yes, I do," I looked up at her. "Can you help me?"
Reaching into my pocket, I fumbled about until I found what I was looking for. Pulling a whiskey bottle out of my pocket, I took a long swig of it. A part of me hoped that it would help while the other just wanted it to dull everything.
"You're drunk," the girl accused, stumbling back another couple of steps.
"No," I immediately denied before considering. "Well, yes, maybe a little."
I guess that this was the last straw for the girl as she turned her back and walked back towards her car. I watched her walk. She could leave. She was young and innocent and she could still live a full life. But I needed help. And she was the best one to help me.
"Mo, please don't leave," I called, dragging myself to my feet. "I really do need help." Blurring in front of her, I looked the girl in the eye and compelled her, "Don't move."
The girl tried to move her body and a panicked look entered her eye when it didn't respond. I couldn't help but be reminded of another girl who had done that. One who had later on stolen my heart.
"I don't want any trouble," her voice trembled and it struck a chord. One that shouldn't be there to strike. I shouldn't be feeling.
"Neither do I but all I got is trouble," I took another swig of the bottle before putting it back in my pocket.
"Why can't I move?" the girl asked tearfully, her voice thick with fear and her heart beating rapidly.
"What's your name?" I asked instead of answering her question. I longed to calm her down, but I couldn't. I shouldn't feel like that.
"Jessica."
Jessica. A lovely name. A lovely name for a lovely girl. A lovely girl who could help me.
"Hi Jessica. I have a secret. I have a big one and I have never said it out loud. I mean, what's the point? It's not gonna change anything, it's not gonna make me good, make me adopt a puppy. I can't be what other people want me to be. I can't be what she needs me to be, what she deserves me to be. This is who I am, Jessica, and she deserves better than this."
"Are you gonna hurt me?" Jessica cried out, tears streaming down her cheeks.
I gently ran my fingers over her cheek, "I'm not sure because you are my existential crisis. Do I kill you or do I not kill you?"
"Please, please, don't."
"But I have to, Jessica, because I'm not human and I miss it. I miss it more than anything in the world! That is my secret but there is only so much hurt that a man can take. I found the girl that I love dead today. And before I knew that she was gonna come back, for one small second, I wanted to die to. I wanted to join her in death. If I was human, I would have been able to. But I'm not human."
"Please don't hurt me."
A single tear fell as I released Jessica from my compulsion, "Ok, you're free to go."
I had to let her go. This is my choice, she had to live. I had to let her live. I had to let…
I blurred forward and grabbed her before she could get into her car. Sinking my fangs deep into her neck, I gave her the mercy of a quick death. As I watched her body drop to the floor, I felt numb. This was who I was.
XXX
Alexa's POV
I shot up in bed, shaking and covered in sweat. My neck throbbed as the phantom pain from my dream faded away. The stark image of blood covered fangs racing towards me still haunted my mind. Pain, pain, pain, death, cold, dark, scared.
Clapping hand over my mouth, I bolted out of bed and into the bathroom. Retching into the toilet, I couldn't hold back the tears. Shivering and sobbing, I pressed my forehead against the cold porcelain of bath next to me. Leaning forward again, I didn't have anything left in my stomach to bring back up. The dry heaves only added to the pain that I felt.
Dragging myself up to my feet, I almost went crashing back down. Coffee. I needed coffee. I couldn't go back to sleep. Sleep was bad. Memories come when I sleep. Death comes when I sleep. Coffee. Coffee. Move Alexa, get to coffee.
Stumbling down the stairs, thankfully not waking my twin, aunt or brother, my gaze was zeroed in on the coffee machine. But I only made it halfway into the kitchen before my legs gave out on me. Pressing my forehead against my knee, I cried softly. I had watched as my death had approached me. At least Katherine had killed me from behind. I had watched as the fangs had come closer. I had felt as my blood was drained from me. No, no, no, stop. Alexa stop. Bad thoughts. Evil thoughts. Coffee. Get to the coffee.
"Alexa?"
A cool hand on the back of my neck startled me into looking up.
Uncle John was crouched on the floor next to me. There was a concerned look on his face and he quickly helped me up off of the floor. He ushered me over to the sofa and wrapped his blanket around me.
Huddling into the warmth of the blanket, I watched with wide eyes and Uncle John, as my daddy, disappeared off out of my line of vision. I couldn't stop the whimper from escaping my mouth. But it must have drawn him back as he quickly returned with a washcloth in his hand. While he washed the tears and sweat from my face, I stared at his Gilbert ring. Maybe he could help me. Maybe he could make the nightmares stop.
"How do you do it?" I whispered, looking into his eyes.
"How do I do what?" he frowned, dropping the cloth on the table and brushing my hair from my face.
"How do you cope after dying?"
His hand froze on my cheek and an apprehensive look appeared on his face.
"Alexa, why do you… Have you…" Uncle John choked on his words, almost forcing them out. "Alexa, have you died?"
I couldn't even open my mouth to speak the words, so I jerked my head up and down once. My daddy closed his eyes and cursed under his breath, "Please tell me that it was just the once. Alexa, please."
I shook my head, pushing the word past my gritted teeth, "Twice."
"No. No no no," he pulled me against his chest and wrapped his arms tight around me. "I gave you that ring so that you would be safe. Not so that you could suffer that."
"I can't stop thinking about it and I want it to stop. Please make it stop. I didn't want to die. Why did I have to die? Make the dreams stop. Please, make them stop."
He hushed me, gently running his hand over the back of my head as I tried to stop the words tumbling from my mouth, and listened to my uncle, "You're not alone, Alexa. No one can hurt you now. You're safe. You are alive and you are safe. I've got you, Lexa, just relax. I'm here."
I don't remember if I dreamed again that night. But I do remember that I never felt alone.
XXX
A/N: No reviews, my darlings :( I was quite sad that no one reviewed, please review this one! I hope you all enjoyed the twist in this chapter and please let me know your thoughts! Until next time, enjoy xoxo
