Disclaimer: I only own my OCs
A/N: Welcome to season 4! I hope it lives up to expectations! It took me quite a bit of time to decide what to do with this chapter, but I'm happy with the decision that I made :) hopefully you all are too!
XXX
Noise.
All I could hear was noise. It was deafening. A cacophony of leaf blowers, lawnmowers, church bells and sirens. It was unbearable. The only thing that beat it was the blinding bright light.
The moment that I opened my eyes with a gasp, I immediately scrunched them shut again. Despite the fact that my curtains were closed, it was still far too bright in my room. Yeah, I was in my room. In the brief moment that my eyes were open, I saw the familiar memory board opposite me.
"Easy baby," an achingly familiar voice murmured before I heard the sound of a door closing.
Even though I didn't want to feel the pain of the bright light, I couldn't stop myself from opening my eyes. I just had to see him. To make sure that I wasn't hearing things. And I wasn't. He was there. He was really there.
"Damon," I gasped out, reaching out to him. My boyfriend immediately drew me into his arms. I clung onto him, burying my face into his chest. Even though I didn't really remember what had happened, why I had woken up in my bed, I found that I really didn't care. Not yet. The only thing that mattered was the fact that my love wasn't dead. "You're okay. You're still alive."
"Of course I'm okay," Damon sighed into my hair, holding me tight to him. "I told you that Klaus was a big, fat liar."
"Yep, you were right," I barely held in the sob as my mind started to betray me. I began to remember the accident. Rebekah in the road. Going into the water. My mind was a bit fuzzy after that. But I knew that it was bad. "Day, what happened?"
"What do you remember?" my boyfriend's voice was soft and there was something in his tone that unnerved me.
"Uh, I remember the accident. But I don't really remember anything after that," I said slowly, nervous as to what I was about to discover. "Are Matt and Elena okay?"
"Matt is… alive," Damon ground out the word angrily, practically spitting it out. "Stefan saved you and him, as per Elena's request. Elena… she let herself drown. And when she did, there must have been some kind of spell linking the two of you, as you started to choke. You died, Ally."
I froze in his arms, my knuckles turning white as I held onto the back of his leather jacket. It was like my brain was buffering, stuck on those words. I had died? Elena had died? Oh my god, my sister had let herself die.
"Is Ellie okay?" I gasped out, barely able to force the words out, panic choking me.
"She's fine," Damon was quick to reassure me, running his fingers through my hair. "When you took her to the hospital last night, Meredith lied to you. Her injuries were a lot worse than she let on and to help her, she gave her some of my blood."
It took a moment for the words to sink in. But the moment they did, I slowly leant back, looking up at my boyfriend with wide eyes, "She's in transition, isn't she?" Damon nodded slowly and I closed my eyes. Oh god. She must be freaking out. I knew that my sister never wanted to turn. Especially not now. She wasn't like me. She didn't want to be a vampire. She wanted to live her life, not be frozen in time. A thought hit me then and I frowned, "What about me? I didn't have vampire blood in my system when I died. How am I alive?"
My vampire hesitated a moment, looking deep into my eyes before sighing, "You aren't alive, baby. You're in transition too. We don't know how, but you had vampire blood in you."
"Oh fuck," I murmured, his words sending my mind into overdrive. Pushing the disturbing puzzle from my mind, I looked at my boyfriend and asked, "Will you help me complete the transition?"
Damon's expression softened slightly before he leant forward to press a kiss to my forehead, "Of course, baby."
I smiled up at him and was about to lean up for a proper kiss when the door opened. The next thing I knew, I had an armful of brown hair and tears. My twin sobbed in my arms and I held her close, feeling how cold her skin was. And my heart broke for her.
"I'm sorry, Lexa, I'm so sorry," her tears soaked through the thin fabric of my top. "I never meant for this to happen. You were supposed to be okay. You weren't supposed to go through this. Neither of us were."
"Maybe you don't have to," a new voice spoke up. I glanced up to see Stefan standing in my doorway. I squinted at the sunlight that he let in while Ellie shifted so that she could look at him too. "I talked to Bonnie, she says that she's stronger than ever, there might be something that she can do to help you."
Was he really saying what I thought he was? That we didn't have to complete the transition? That we could be human again?
… did I really want that? This was always something that would happen for me. Yeah, it was a lot sooner than I ever anticipated, but the opportunity was here now. I couldn't let Bonnie stop this, only to do it in the near future. I would rather complete the transition than be saved. But how did I explain this to everyone? I knew that Damon would be the only one to understand my decision.
"No," Damon immediately snapped, glaring at his brother as he rested a hand on my back. "The only thing that's going to help the two of you is to feed and complete the transition."
Stefan glared back at his brother, "We have all day before they have to feed, Damon. That's a day to exhaust every possible way out of this."
"There is no way out of it," my boyfriend ground out, clearly fed up with the other vampire. "We all know the drill. You feed or you die. There is no door number three."
It was my sister letting out a sob that drew the brothers from their disagreement. Tears poured from her eyes as she stared up at the younger vampire, "I was ready to die. I was supposed to die. I don't… I don't want to be… I can't be a vampire! Alexa can't be either. If there's something that Bonnie can do, we have to try."
"We will," Stefan was quick to reassure her. "We'll try everything."
I fought incredibly hard to hide my feelings. I didn't want to stop this. But I couldn't take this away from my twin, even if I knew that she would try and force it upon me later. That would have to be a conversation that we had if this was successful.
"Your choice, Elena," Damon scoffed, stroking my back before standing up. "As always."
I held my twin close as I watched him leave the room.
XXX
Once I had managed to get my sister to stop crying, I made her go shower before creeping over to the stairs. I had yet to see Jenna or Jeremy since I woke up and I tried not to think of the reasons as to why that was. They were probably giving us time, letting us adjust to the fact that we were in transition. But maybe that was just me being hopeful. Naïve even. But I would let myself believe it for now.
I was about to head downstairs, to look for one of my missing family members, when I heard voices in the kitchen. I hesitated, wondering if it was worth interrupting, before shaking my head, deciding against it. It was obvious that Damon was pissed off at his brother. And they needed to air it out. So I just sat down and listened.
"Way to get Elena's hopes up for something that's never happened in the history of vampirism," Damon scoffed, swirling the drink in his hand. I knew that it was the transition, allowing me to hear it. it was the same reason as to why the ticking clock in the lounge had me wincing.
"You know what," you could hear the frustration in Stefan's voice, even as he tried not to let it show. "You weren't there the day that Elena looked me in the eye and told me that she absolutely never wanted this."
I winced at his words, digging my nails into my thighs. I knew that my sister didn't want this, but hearing it out loud, when I was going to complete the transition, it was hard. I knew that she would struggle, but there was no other way. It was either feed or die. No one had ever found another way. I knew that Elena was special and that others did crazy things to get her what she wanted, but this just couldn't be done.
My vampire snorted, downing the drink in his hand before snapping, "Then you shouldn't have let her die."
"I never meant for her to die, for either of them to die," Stefan's voice was quiet, like he knew that his brother was on edge. I mean, it was kinda obvious. I wasn't even in the room with them and I could tell that the older Salvatore brother was on edge. "Elena asked me to help Alexa and Matt first. And I did. I just didn't know that Elena dying would kill Alexa too."
"And now the world has one more quarterback," Damon shook his head, picking the bottle back up. "Bravo, brother."
I heard glass clink as my vampire poured himself another drink. With a silent sigh, I rested my head against the banister, the cool wood feeling good against my skin. Listening to the brothers helped me to ignore the buzzing under my skin. It was a different kind of buzzing to the one that I was used to. My body longed for blood. Ever nerve under my skin screamed for it. But I couldn't do it. I wanted to talk to my family first, before I completed the transition.
I wasn't even aware that I was rubbing at my gums until I heard Stefan speak, "I made a choice that I will regret for the rest of my life. Now let me try to fix it."
"You can do what you want for Elena," the older vampire's voice was soft, but not in a pleasant way. I could picture the threatening look on his face with ease. "But you will let Alexa make her own choice. If Elena doesn't want to turn? Good for her, find a way to fix it. But I will not let you force that onto my girl."
I heard footsteps and opened my eyes to see Damon standing at the bottom of the stairs. He raised an eyebrow at me when he saw me sitting there. I just shrugged, holding out my hands for him. And Damon, my lovely Damon, who was not one to refuse me anything, just walked up the stairs and pulled me close to him. He wrapped an arm under my legs and lifted me into his arms, carrying me back to my bedroom.
Damon laid down on my bed, keeping me in his arms. Of course, I was more than happy to stay there. It had only been a few hours since I thought that I had lost him. And I was enjoying just being in his arms. It made the whole situation feel a little less shitty.
"I left a bloodbag in the fridge downstairs," Damon murmured into my hair as I tucked my head under his chin. "For when you're ready."
"Thank you, Day," I whispered back, idly stroking his chest, the fabric feeling softer than normal. "I'll do it soon. I just wanted to talk to Jenna and Jeremy before I do." I hesitated for a moment, wondering if I was brave enough to put my feelings into words. "Damon. Do you think that they will accept me if I chose to complete the transition? Especially if they find a way to save us from it?"
My boyfriend was silent for a moment, clearly looking for the right words, "I think that if they truly loved you, then they would accept your choice."
"I hope so," I sighed, tilting my head back, seeking Damon's lips. I relaxed against them, moving so that I was straddling his lap. My fingers tangled in my vampire's hair as I sighed against his lips. Everything felt heightened. His lips felt softer than usual against mine. His scent enveloped me and the feel of his skin against mine was electric. I let out a hum before murmuring, "I can't wait to turn and spend forever with you."
The smile on Damon's face had my heart bursting in my chest. God, forever with this man sounded amazing. And I wouldn't let myself be 'saved' from the transition and miss out on it.
XXX
Needing to get away from his brother, Damon gave me a farewell kiss before leaving the house. I continued to sit on my bed, looking around the room. It felt different and yet, nothing had changed. It was me who had changed. I didn't feel like I belonged here anymore. I felt too different. I was no longer the girl who used to curl up in this bed, dreaming of love.
I winced at the sound of water in the pipes. I knew that I needed to complete the transition soon, before the heightened hearing drove me insane. At least when I was a vampire, I could learn how to deal with that. I knew that no one would teach me until they had found a way to 'save' us. Which was bullshit but they cared more about Elena's choice than mine right now. And oh wow, that was bitchy.
With a sigh, I got up from my bed. I probably ought to go and see how my twin was doing. I knew that she was struggling to deal with the fact that she was in transition. And she was probably struggling with the physical effects even more. So it was down to me, the one who had always been deemed as irresponsible to get her through this.
I darted down the hallway, avoiding the sunlight the best that I could. As much as I wanted to enjoy the view of the sun, my last as a human, it was too bright. And it hurt my eyes. Of course, the sun was probably a better view than the one that I walked in on. Elena was standing in front of her mirror, examining her gums. Every now and then, she gave the lamp next to her a filthy look. I knew that she could hear the electricity buzzing in the lightbulb, just like I could.
"Ah fuck," I sighed, walking over to her and turning her away from the mirror. "Elena, my lovely, you need to get a grip. Obsessively looking for fangs in the mirror is not helping anyone."
"I just… I can't help it," she sighed in frustration before her gaze flickered behind me. "Jer!"
I let go of her shoulders in surprise as I turned to face our brother. Ellie was immediately over at his side, hugging him tightly. The moment she stepped away, I took her place, holding the kid tight against me. I could feel his heart-beating strongly and relaxed. At least he was okay.
"Are you okay?" Jeremy asked, glancing between us as I kept a hand on his shoulder. "I watched Vicki go through this, she was a mess. Her emotions were all over the place. All these old memories came flooding back."
Old memories like being compelled by Finn when he stole my blood? Like being compelled by Katherine to forget that Klaus was going to kill Damon at Homecoming? Shitty memories like those? Yeah, that was fun. I knew that there were more memories to come, I could feel it in my bones. I just hoped that they were nicer than the other ones.
"I'm fine," Elena frowned, glancing over at the lightbulb before answering. I rolled my eyes and sighed. Yes, the noise was annoying and I just wanted to throw the fucking thing out of the window. But giving it evils was not going to convince anyone that she was fine. "I'm not Vicki."
"Ohh burn," I muttered, channelling the tension in my body through shitty remarks. I knew that I was handling this far too well. And I didn't know if it was because I wanted this. I mean, yeah, not right now, but at some point in the future. Or maybe it was just because it hadn't quite sunk in yet. Or maybe it was because I was too busy making sure that my sister didn't have a breakdown and do something stupid. To be honest, it was probably a combination of all three.
"No, you're not," Jer agreed softly, studying our sister's face carefully. "You're you. You act like everything's okay so no one worries about you, but you need help." The kid turned to me and I immediately didn't like it, "Just like you do, Alexa. You can hide behind snarky remarks as much as you like, but I know the truth."
"Truth is subjective," I coughed, looking away, making sure to avoid the lightbulb that my twin was glaring at. "And lightbulbs are loud."
My little jab had Elena looking my way, a glare on her face as she snapped, "I said I'm fine, okay?" Our brother winced and Ellie's expression was immediately flooded with guilt. "I… I'm sorry, I… Have you talked to Bonnie?"
Jeremy was kind enough to accept her apology and her attempt to ignore what happened, "Yeah, she said that when I was shot; she made some plea to the witch spirits to bring me back and they listened."
"Yeah, but not without being little bitches about it," I muttered, leaning against Elena's dresser, blocking her view of the lamp. "I think that one person seeing ghosts in the family is more than enough."
"Alexa's right," Ellie nodded. "The consequences were horrible."
"And what could be more horrible than you two turning into vampires?" the kid frowned deeply and I winced. "I need my sisters, not more of them."
"Oh wow, Jeremy, tell us how you really feel," I snorted, ignoring the sinking feeling in my heart. I knew that he wouldn't accept my choice and I didn't know how to tell him that I wanted to turn. I couldn't bare to see the disappointment in his eyes. But what did I do? Do I just complete the transition and hope that he forgave me for doing so? Maybe it would be easier if Bonnie didn't find a way to stop it. Because at least then I didn't have a choice.
"We're gonna find a way out of this," Elena nodded sharply, a determined look on her face. "Everything's gonna be okay."
"I hope so," Jer sighed and I had to look away. Guilt sat heavy in my stomach, like a stone in water. I knew that my choice would negatively impact him. But did I do the selfish thing and do what I wanted? Or do I make my family happy and stay human?
With a sad smile, our brother turned and left the room, heading downstairs. Ah fuck, I had to talk to him before I completed the transition. I just didn't know what to say. I was so busy staring after the kid that I didn't notice my sister approaching me. It wasn't until she nudged me out of the way and pulled off the lampshade that I noticed. I rolled my eyes as she picked up the lightbulb and crushed it in her hand.
"Well, that's one way of dealing with it."
XXX
"Hey Jen-Jen," I smiled weakly at my aunt when she walked into my bedroom. "How's it going?"
"Jen-Jen?" Jenna frowned, pausing in the doorway before walking over and sitting next to me on the window seat. "You haven't called me that in years… what do you want?"
"Now that is a loaded question," I shook my head, leaning back against the window. The fabric of the curtain rustled loudly in my ear and I winced before sitting forward. "And I don't know if you really want to know the answer."
My aunt stared at me, a look that I couldn't quite read in her eyes. And it made my stomach twist. I didn't want to disappoint Jenna. She had done so much for me; she was like a second mom. Or would that be a third mom, since I should technically count Isobel. But either way, I loved Jenna like a parent. She was more than our aunt now and the thought of disappointing her made me feel sick.
"You want to complete the transition. Don't you?" her voice was quiet, even in the silence of my bedroom. I had taken the batteries out of the clocks, unable to cope with the ticking. And since none of the lights were on, there was no electricity to hide her words.
I winced and cleared my throat, avoiding her gaze, "Hypothetically, if I was to say yes, what would your response be?"
"Well, I wouldn't be surprised," Jenna smiled slightly, shaking her head. "I've seen how much you love Damon. And I guess that I always knew, on some level, that this would be an option for you. When you love someone the way that you two love each other, and forever is possible, then it was natural for you to want it."
I was silent for a moment before whispering, "It's not just for Damon. I've spent so long being so scared and feeling so weak. I just want to feel strong. And as a vampire, I would be strong. It would be harder for someone to kill me, to hurt me. I would be able to protect myself and the people that I care about." I shook my head as Jenna wrapped her arm around my shoulders. "I just don't want you to hate me. For Jeremy to hate me. I already know how he feels about us turning. How could I look him in the eye knowing that I chose this?"
"Maybe if you told him how you felt, then he would accept your choice," my aunt's voice was soft as I closed my eyes, rubbing my face.
"Do you really think so?" I frowned, keeping my face covered and eyes closed. So it really surprised me when a new voice joined the conversation.
"Yeah, we do," Jeremy spoke and I jolted upright. I watched with wide eyes as the kid grabbed the chair from my makeup table and pulled it over to sit in front of me. "Why didn't you say anything earlier?"
"Uh, because I know how you feel about vampires," I stuttered out, barely thinking about my words before they were spilling from my mouth. "And I don't want to put you in a position where you are betraying your principles. And apparently no one wants us to be vampires, except for maybe Damon, but he has ulterior motives like hot vampire sex. And oh my god, forget that I said that. But still, no one wants this for us and it feels like I am betraying everyone by wanting it. And it especially feels like I am betraying you and Jenna for completing the transition."
"Hot vampire sex?" Jer repeated, pulling a face and I rolled my eyes, poking his cheek.
"Shut up, shitface, I told you to forget about that part," I groaned dramatically, ignoring the look that Jenna gave me.
"I'm gonna need brain bleach to forget that," the kid teased before his expression turned soft. "Okay, yeah, I have to admit that you being a vampire is not exactly something that I want. But Lexa, what makes you happy is more important. That is all that I want. And if turning is something that makes you happy, then I'm okay with that."
I squinted at him, glancing between my brother and Jenna, "Do you mean that? Or are you just saying that so I don't cry and start smashing lightbulbs?"
"Of course we mean it," Jenna brushed my hair away from my face while Jer flicked my knee. "And if Bonnie finds a way to reverse the transition and you still chose to go through with it, then we'll still mean it then."
And then, despite all my attempts not to, I could feel myself starting to tear up. I rubbed my eyes but the traitorous things continued to fall, "You guys are so sweet and I swear that these are happy tears from your lovely words and nothing more." I continued to wipe at my eyes, ignoring the look that the other two exchanged, "Oh god, why won't they stop?"
"It's okay, Lexa, it's to be expected," Jeremy gave me a sweet look while Jenna reached over to grab some tissues from my makeup table. I used them to wipe away the tears on my cheeks before letting out a sob. I grabbed my brother and pulled him into a hug, clutching him close.
"I love you so much, you sweet, pure child," I cried into his shoulder while he patted me on the back. "You're too precious for this world."
"Oh for gods sake," the kid muttered while Jenna let out a small laugh. "I knew that you would be emotional, but this is just ridiculous."
"It's your fault for being too nice," I countered before reaching out for Jenna. I couldn't really see anything as my face was still buried against Jer's shoulder. But luckily our aunt knew what I wanted. She gently grabbed my hand before joining us in the hug. "I love you both so much. And I swear that I will never let anything bad ever happen to you again."
XXX
With the blessing of my aunt and brother, I went downstairs to grab the bloodbag from the fridge. Elena and Stefan were talking in the living room with a barely eaten sandwich sitting on the kitchen island. I could see tear tracks on my sister's cheeks, even as she laughed. Well, to be fair, there was a slight hysterical edge to her laugh. Deciding that Stefan could deal with the lightbulb crusher, I quietly grabbed the bloodbag before disappearing upstairs.
I squinted as I walked up the stairs, the sunlight irritating my sensitive eyes. Not all of the curtains had been closed and I much preferred to just hide in my bedroom to closing them. So with my bloodbag in hand, I retreated to my bedroom.
I stepped inside and glanced up, a smile forming on my face. Damon sat on my window seat, holding something in his hands. I was so excited to see him that I didn't even realise that he was wearing different clothes.
"Day, you're back," I smiled, closing the door behind me.
He glanced up, his face carefully blank in a way that turned my stomach, "Cute PJs."
"PJs?" I muttered, glancing down at my clothes, which were definitely not PJs. But it was the sound of my voice in front of me that had me looking up. Ah, that explained it.
"I'm just glad to get out of that damn dress," memory me shrugged. Oh wow, I had forgotten how short my hair was. I slowly moved around so that I could see everything properly. Including the look in Damon's eyes. I hadn't recognised it at the time. But now I knew it well. It was love. A love tarnished with pain. But it was love.
"It suited you," memory Damon said, approaching my past self. I saw her blush and rolled my eyes. damn, I was so easy. I mean, I probably still was. But I didn't normally see it like this.
I tried to remember what night this was, to remember what had happened before this memory was taken from me. But it was eluding me. I got the feeling that it wasn't a bad memory, which was why I was confused that it had been hidden from me.
"I'll make sure to get it properly cleaned then," memory Alexa spoke before studying the face of the vampire in front of her. I had actually gotten the dress cleaned and it was in my closet. I didn't remember why I did it, but I guess that this was why. I subconsciously did it because Damon liked the dress. Huh, crazy what you find out.
My past self stared at the vampire in front of her, a worried look in her eyes before taking a step forward and softly asking, "Why are you here, Damon?"
"I came to return this," Damon replied, holding up a familiar necklace. One that was currently sitting on my bedside table. I hadn't been wearing it when I woke up earlier. And when I completed the transition, I wouldn't wear it again. Well, not until the vervain had been cleaned out of it.
And that's when I remembered. It was the day that Elena and I had met Elijah for the first time. When we had first heard about the sacrifice. Oh, we were so naïve back then, so unaware of the dangers that came with being a doppelganger. But it was our little adventure in kidnapping that made me truly accept how I felt for Damon. And it set me on a path that changed me life for good.
"My necklace," past me murmured, a smile on her face as she reached out for it. "I never thought that I would see it again." I remember now feeling so relieved that I had it back and I wanted Damon to know how grateful I was that he had returned it to me. That he had made the effort to go and find it for me. "Thank you."
Memory me reached out to take the necklace, but Damon pulled it out of reach before I could take it. And I knew that the compulsion was coming. I was vervain free now and Damon obviously didn't want me to remember something. I had a sneaky feeling as to what that was but I didn't want to assume anything until I knew.
I blinked and the memory vanished. The sun shone through the fabric of the curtains and I wrinkled my nose. I hated when that happened. The damn memories like to keep me in suspense. It really got under my skin. I would much rather them just show me what happened in full. But no, that was too nice. Damn things.
I sighed and rolled my eyes, slouching over to my bed. I sat down, pulling my blanket over my legs before glancing up. Oh, part two was here. Now I could find out if I was right.
Past me looked from the necklace to the vampire with a frown, "Damon, what are you doing?"
I held my breath as Damon stepped forward, closing the gap between them. I could see how close he was standing to memory me. And I could feel his warmth now, the feel of his clothes. I remembered being enveloped by his scent. I remembered how close his lips were to mine. I remembered feeling his breath against my face as he said, "I have something that I need to say to you."
I sat up straight as I remembered asking, "Why do you need to say it with my necklace?"
A bad feeling had formed in my stomach at his words. I suspected what he was going to say and while my heart burst in happiness, the fact that he didn't want me to remember it was telling. And that was a painful thought to swallow.
"Well, because what I'm about to say is probably the most selfish thing that I have ever said in my life."
Past me looked breathless, even as she breathed out the vampire's name. I probably wanted to say more, to proclaim my love first, but Damon stopped me. I could see now that he had a pained look in his eyes and that broke my heart.
"No," he interrupted memory me softly. "I just have to say it once. You just need to hear it. I need you to hear it. I love you, Alexa." Oh Damon, you sweet thing. I knew that he had gone through a phase where he didn't believe that he was good enough for me. Sometimes, I knew that he still felt that way. But to hear him say that loving me, that telling me that he loved me, was the most selfish thing that he had ever done. It was heartbreaking. It absolutely was not selfish. And I made a mental note to tell him that the next time that I saw him. "And it's because I love you that I can't be selfish with you. Why you can't know this."
The happiness of my memory self's face was quickly replaced by shock and sadness. I remember now feeling devasted that he felt that way. And that devastation was coming back.
"No," memory me shook her head, a tear slipping down her cheek. "Damon, please…"
Damon smiled sadly, cupping past me's face, thumb wiping away the tear, "I don't deserve you, Alexa. You deserve to live a normal life. One where you can have the white picket fence, the perfect husband and 2.5 children. One where you can no longer be hurt by the world that I live in."
Past Alexa reached up to wrap her hands around Damon's wrists. There was a desperation to her voice as she pleaded, "I don't want that, Damon. I might have wanted that once upon a time, but I don't anymore. You are worth everything to me, worth all of the pain."
Those words were still true. Damon was worth all of the pain that I had gone through and he would continue to be worth it. I loved him more than anything and he would always be worth it. I didn't even care that my dreams changed. Because I had changed. And my dreams reflected that change.
Memory Damon smiled sadly, a look that still made my heart hurt, and leant forward. One of his hands gently stroked memory me's face, before gently resting it on the back of her neck. The other slid down her body until it rested on her hip. God, I loved it when he did that. Even as I watched what was apparently our first kiss, I could feel the anticipation rising in my body.
Damon's head tilted down as memory me's tilted up, eye contact was made. And then lips met. I could feel him against my lips, even as I lightly traced them with my finger. I remember now, after the emotion of the day, feeling as though I would never see him again, that kiss felt like perfection. Just like every kiss that followed.
Past me's hands reached up to tangle themselves in Damon's hair as bodies melted together. I remembered the pleasure that I felt at the feel of his lips against mine, the feel of his body pressed up against me. God, I loved it so much. But even as I remember the pleasure, I knew that something bad was coming. There was a reason as to why I didn't remember this, and remembering that would not be fun.
When the kiss ended, memory Damon rested his forehead against memory mine. My heart had been pounding in my chest as I fought to catch my breath. As much I don't want to sound corny, that kiss had literally taken my breath away. I remembered longing it out as long as possible before reluctantly moving my head away so that I could look Damon in the eye. I needed that time to build up my courage, to make sure that I was feeling brave enough to admit my feelings to him.
I did that while memory Damon stroked my cheek. Memory me licked her lips before opening her mouth, reading to tell him everything. But she was interrupted, the words never spoken, when Damon pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. Past me's eyes fluttered shut for a moment as she enjoyed it. but the words that came next froze her heart.
"God, I wish you didn't have to forget this, but you do."
Memory Alexa's eyes flew open as she got ready to beg him to not make her forget. She was stopped by a gentle finger settling on her lips. And she looked up, her gaze getting caught by the vampire's as he began to compel her.
My eyes closed, just as they did in the past. But this time, the memory was given back to me.
XXX
I sat on my bed, the blood bag sitting innocently on the blanket in front of me. I knew that I was ready. I knew that I wanted this. But I was still scared to take this final step. It felt monumental. And I suppose, it kinda was. I would never be the same after this. I knew that I had the blessing of my family, well, Elena was an unknown but I had to trust that she would accept it. I knew that Damon wanted this for me, he wanted forever with me. My friends… god, I just had to hope that they accepted me like this.
But the main thing was, it was my choice. I was doing something that I wanted, for once. I was letting myself be truly selfish. I was making a choice for myself. And I couldn't be scared of that. I reminded myself that I wanted this and that I shouldn't be scared of that.
With a deep breath, I picked up the bag in front of me. I could feel the liquid sloshing and just the sight of it had my gums aching. I could have sworn that I could smell the iron tang of the liquid within. It was everything that my body was craving. And that was a crazy thought. But when I went through with this, then it would be my entire life.
To be honest, I didn't quite know how I felt about that. It was one of the harder parts of my decision. Knowing that blood would consume my entire life from now on. But was it worth it? Knowing what I was getting in return? I guess, to me, it was. I would have people help me learn to control my hunger. I wouldn't be alone in this.
In reality, this was a bit of a moot point. I was in transition now. I had no choice but to feed. Especially since I doubted that Bonnie would find a way to stop this. She was powerful and amazing. But even she couldn't do this. And I didn't want her to, not for me anyway.
I sighed and shook my head.
Well, here goes nothing.
I went to open the blood bag, reading to start the new chapter in my life. But unfortunately, before I could, Lady Life proved, once again, that she fucking hated me. Like really fucking hated me.
I was just about to start drinking when my bedroom door burst open. I let out a shocked scream as deputies piled into my room. I didn't know why they were here, but I knew that this was bad. Really bad.
One of the deputies, who was annoyingly familiar, grabbed the blood bag from my hands and threw it to the side. I let out a shout of protest, before silently cursing myself. That was a stupid move. Apparently, the deputies agreed, as they grabbed my arms and pulled me off of the bed. My head spun as my feet hit the floor. But I recovered quickly enough to start struggling.
I yanked at their grip as they pulled me from my room. I couldn't see any of my family anywhere and I was relieved. I didn't want Jenna or Jeremy to get wrapped up in this. I had to protect them, even if it meant giving myself up. I didn't know what the deputies wanted, but I knew that this was bad. Probably part of the fallout of Evil Alaric's little plots. I felt so fucking stupid. I knew that this shouldn't have been so easy. Life was fucked and I don't know why my undead life would be any easier.
They dragged me down the stairs and I saw that the front door was open. Stefan was laying on the floor, a couple of darts sticking out of his back. Well, shit, so much for the vampire backup. I couldn't see my sister anywhere and that worried me. I knew that she was still at home, she wouldn't have left the house, not with the transition hanging over her head. So that meant only one thing, the deputies had taken her. And that sent my anger out of control.
I yelled and snapped at the deputies holding me, increasing my struggling. I knew that if they had taken my sister, if they had taken me, then that put us in grave danger. There was no way that we would be able to complete the transition if we were taken. And I couldn't let my sister die. If I managed to escape, then I could get us help. I needed to get us help. Especially since Stefan was unconscious and would probably be taken with us. God, this was down to me.
"Where are you taking us?" I demanded as the deputies roughly pulled me out of the front door. I tried to grab the doorframe but the deputy on my left slapped my hand away. I narrowed my eyes at him and tried to kick him in the shin, feeling maliciously satisfied when my hit connected.
"Don't ask questions, vampire scum," the deputy on the right snapped and I stared at him with wide eyes. Well, that was fucking rude. Like oh wow. Seriously, he dared to talk to me like that? And was he stupid? I was clearly still human, even if I was transitioning.
"Don't call me that, you fucking asshole!" I snapped back, unable to find my cool. His words had gotten under my skin. Not just because they were rude, but also because of what they meant. Would others think the same, people that I cared about? Would I forever be vampire scum? Well, that was if I survived long enough to complete the transition.
Unfortunately, the deputies didn't like my attitude. As the next thing I knew, my head was being slammed into the rear door of the van. My head exploded with pain. And I knew no more.
XXX
"Ow, my fucking head."
Everything hurt.
My head hurt. My eyes hurt because of the sunlight peering through the cracks of whatever shitty god-forsaken place I had been dumped into. My body hurt because why the fuck wouldn't it. Everything was just shit like that.
"What the fuck happened?" I squinted through the bars of the cage that I had apparently been put in. The cage, or cell, as it looked more like, seemed to be in an old barn. There were at least three other cages that I could see. The one opposite me was empty. Next to that had one that a certain Stefan Salvatore was in. I couldn't see who was in the cell next to me, but I heard coughing.
"Alexa, how are you feeling?" Stefan asked, peering through the bars of his cage, watching me with worried eyes. I groaned as I tried to push myself upwards, but my arms shook beneath me. I didn't know how long I had been out for, but it was long enough that my body had grown weaker. It needed to complete the transition. And I had the feeling that I was not in the position to do so right now.
I grabbed the bars in front of me and used them to pull myself up. With a weak grunt, I managed to get myself into a sitting position, leaning against the wooden wall by the bars.
"Like absolute shit," I panted, resting my head against the mental bars. "Where are we?"
"Somewhere disgusting," an annoying familiar voice spoke from the cell next to me. "And in the middle of nowhere."
"Oh no, what are you doing here?" I groaned at the sound of Rebekah's voice. "You already killed me once, thank you very much. Can't you let me die again in peace?"
"Alexa, you aren't going to die," Stefan's voice was stern as he looked at me. But I could see the worry in his eyes. Not even he believed his words. We were approaching the end of the 24 hours. I was running out of time and he knew it.
"It wasn't personal, Alexa," the Original in the cell next to me said quietly. "I just wanted to stop Alaric, before he killed any more of my family."
"Well, it feels pretty fucking personal," I grumbled, closing my eyes as I hid from the worry that Stefan couldn't hide. "You killed me, Rebekah. And even worse, you killed my twin. We had a plan, but noooooo, you just had to do your own thing. You bitch." Two voices called out my name. One rebuking, the other offended. "What? You really think that I care right now. I am probably going to die in a few hours. I have no idea where my sister is, if she is okay, if she is in the position to complete the transition if she needs to. So why should I care if I hurt someone's feelings?"
Silence followed my words, one that no one seemed willing to break. Because what could they say? There were no words that could comfort me. I was well and truly screwed. And I was mad. It wasn't fair. None of this was fair. I just wanted to complete the transition and start my new life. But now I was stuck in a cage, with two people that I didn't really want to be with in my final hours.
The only sounds in the barn were the vampires coughing and the hum of the fan. It was spreading vervain through the air, keeping the vampires weak. I was just lucky that it wasn't affecting me. Because that was the last thing that I wanted to deal with.
"I don't suppose that either of you can hear what's happening outside?" I eventually asked, keeping my eyes closed. I didn't really want to talk to either of them, if I was being honest. Rebekah killed me and my sister, forcing us both into transition. Not that she knew that. As far as she was concerned, we were both going to die. And she was okay with that. So much for being friends, huh. And I still hadn't forgiven Stefan for his stunts while his humanity was off. Especially for what he did to my twin. He had a lot more making up to do and even then, I didn't know if it would truly be enough.
"I hear footsteps," Stefan answered and I opened my eyes to look at him. "Probably the deputies patrolling. But other than that, I can't hear anything."
"Well, that's a pain," I sighed, shifting my aching body to a more comfortable position. "Hopefully Bonnie can whip up a nice locator spell and we can get some vampire backup."
"You're sounding a bit more hopeful," the blonde next to me pointed out and I snorted.
"It's either that or I just put myself out of my misery now," I ignored the disapproving look that Stefan gave me. "And I probably shouldn't consider that option for a little while yet. Just in case my boyfriend conjures up a miracle and crashes through those doors."
It was possible. Damon had always saved me; he hadn't let me down yet. I just had to hope that the odds weren't against him this time. God, I really hoped that. I didn't want to die, not really. Even with my defeatist attitude. I wanted to survive this. But it was just hard to see how that would happen.
Before Stefan could berate me for my words, and I knew that he was gearing up to it, the barn doors opening stopped him. I couldn't stop the loud groan that I let out as the bright light of the sun blinded me. It pierced my eyes like shards of glass. I buried my face in my hands until the light was gone.
Because of that, I didn't see what the deputies were up to. Not until I heard Stefan shouting out my sister's name. Once the doors were closed again, I looked at the cell directly opposite me to see my unconscious twin. Well, at least I now knew where she was.
XXX
It took quite some twin for my twin to wake up. I didn't know what had happened to her, but there was a painful looking red mark on her forehead. It was clear that she had been knocked out, but the details were unknown to me.
Elena awoke with a quiet groan, holding a hand to her head. I leant against the wall as I watched her, looking her over the best I could, making sure that there were no other injuries. She looked unharmed from what I could tell. Which was a relief. It was one less thing for me to worry about.
I watched as my twin slowly sat up, holding her head as she rested against the bars. Ellie noticed me first, a relieved look, probably matching the one that I wore, appearing on her face. She breathed out my name as I gave her a small smile.
"Hey sis," I gave her a thumbs up as her gaze flickered to the side. I noticed that due to the cell she was in, she wouldn't be able to see Stefan. And the bitchy part of me, the one that I didn't like to acknowledge, enjoyed that. I didn't get to see Damon before I died. And now she wouldn't be able to see or touch Stefan. Did I hate myself for feeling that way? Yes, I did. But it was a secret that I would keep forever.
"I really did hope that I had killed you," Rebekah rolled her eyes at my sister, a disappointed look on her face.
"Fuck you, Rebekah," I snapped back instinctively while my twin just ignored.
Elena switched her gaze back to me as she asked, "Where are we?"
"Bumb-fuck of nowhere," I snorted, rolling my eyes. I had hoped that Elena had seen more of the outside than I had. But that was clearly a futile hope. And we still knew that same amount that we did before.
"I don't get it, why are we in here?" my twin frowned, tightening her grip on the bars of her cell. I could understand her confusion. We were human, they should have put us somewhere else. Well, that was assuming that they knew that we were human. The deputies weren't exactly known for their intelligence.
"They thought that you were a vampire," Rebekah answered before I could. "So they stuck you in here with us."
"I was in the farm house before," Ellie said slowly, trying to think back as to what happened. "I managed to escape the house before they put me in here." Her gaze flickered over to me, "Why did they put you in here straight away?"
"Well, uh," I cleared my throat, looking away from my twin. "They walked in on me about to drink from a blood bag. So they probably assumed that I was a vampire or that I was transitioning. Not sure which. Either way, they stuck me in here."
"You were going to complete the transition?" my sister sounded so hurt and offended and upset, that I couldn't stop myself from wincing. "How could you?"
"Els, we feed or we die," I said softly, still refusing to look at her. "There is no other option, not now. Hell, I don't think we even have the option to feed now."
"That's not true," Elena shook her head, tears in her eyes. "Where's Stefan? He can help us."
"Elena," the younger vampire spoke for the first time, a pained look on his face. "I'm right here. are you okay?"
My twin repeated his name like a prayer as she struggled to sit up higher. With a frustrated grunt, she gave up, resting her head against the bars as she quietly admitted, "I didn't feed."
And the frown lines on Stefan's face deepened dramatically. He now had two people that needed to feed. One of them being the girl he loved. This truly was a shitty day.
"Ahh," the bitchy Original next to me exclaimed dramatically, clearly unable to miss the opportunity to annoy my sister. "I see what's going on here. You died with vampire blood in your system and you didn't feed and now you're locked up in here without a drop of human blood in sight. That is a problem."
"Oh shut up, Rebekah," I snapped, rolling my eyes. "Maybe you've forgotten that I'm in that situation too. Because of you, I might add."
The blonde ignored my words, instead staring at my twin with hard eyes, "Has anyone done the math or shall I? I'd say you've got less than three hours to feed before I get to watch you die all over again." I could hear the smirk in her voice as she sighed, "My day just got a whole lot better."
Stefan snapped at the Original, losing his cool for a moment. I could tell that he was worried. Probably more about Elena than me, if I was being real. But I didn't mind too much. Making sure my sister survived was important. And if Stefan was devoted to that, then I could tolerate him for the time being. And I would put my pettiness to the side. For him, anyway. Rebekah would still get all of my pettiness.
I just stared at Ellie as she tried to break the bars on her cell, desperate to pull them apart of knock them out their brackets. But it was hopeless. All she did was extend energy that she didn't have to spare. I knew that I had to say something, that I had to reassure her. I had resigned myself to the fact that surviving tonight would be tough. But I wouldn't let her feel the same. I needed her to have hope.
"Ignore her, Ellie," I looked my twin in the eyes. "You are not going to die today. I swear to you, I will get you out of here alive."
I just needed to find a way to do the same for myself.
XXX
We didn't really talk a lot. What was there for us to say? Lol look how much time is passing before we die. Wouldn't that be a cheerful conversation. So, to make sure that I didn't say anything inappropriate and get scolded by Stefan, I just kept my mouth shut. Instead, I just watched my sister as she leant against the bars, her back to me. I could tell that she was struggling. Hell, I was struggling. If it wasn't for the wall behind me, I would be on the floor. It was the only thing keeping me upright.
My eyes kept closing, even as I tried to force them open. I was so tired and felt so drained, but I needed to stay awake. Falling asleep wasn't an option. Couldn't keep myself alive if I fell asleep, I might not even wake up. And yikes, wasn't that a depressing thought!
So it was complete surprised when my sister rose to her feet. Apparently, it was a surprise to her too. She glanced around with wide eyes, her skin pale as her legs shook beneath her. I frowned and tried to sit up, slumping against the bars when I failed.
"Ellie?" I called out weakly, wondering if I should be worried. Did I have the energy to be worried? Damn, I really hoped that this wasn't something bad. Because I had no way of getting over to her. not only was I losing energy far too quickly, I had no way of getting out of this cell and into hers.
Apparently my voice had jolted something within my sister, as she weakly called out, "Stefan. Lexa. I think… I think something's happening."
And something was happening. As I watched, it looked like my sister was getting stronger. Her skin regained its healthy glow and I could practically sense the life returning to her body. Was she… was she being saved? Had Bonnie found a way to reverse the transition? It didn't feel real, but the evidence in front of me was obvious. My twin looked alive again.
"Stefan," Elena whispered, her voice sounding strong as she lifted up a hand, examining it closely. "I think Bonnie did it." She let out a delighted laugh, turning around in her cell, keeping her balance as she moved with confidence. "I feel, I feel fine again. Like I did before. Oh god, Bonnie saved me. She did it. She really did it."
I was happy for my sister. Delighted, even. It was amazing. I didn't know if I actually believed it, even if the evidence was in front of me. It just felt so surreal. Like it shouldn't be possible. And yet, somehow, it was. Somehow, Bonnie had done the impossible. I shouldn't be surprised, our Bon was amazing, I just didn't expect her to have solved his conundrum so quickly.
It was then that I felt a tug on my arm. I couldn't see anyone in front of me. But I knew that I had felt something. Like someone was trying to get me to stand up. But my exhausted body couldn't answer. And I didn't want it to. This was what happened to Elena. This was how Bonnie saved her. But does being saved mean that I won't die? There was no guarantee that I would get the opportunity to complete the transition. But how could I let Bonnie save me if I just went and became a vampire a few months down the line. It just felt ungrateful.
Luckily, or maybe unluckily, depending on your point of view, I didn't end up making the decision. It was taken out of my hands. The tugging on my arm grew more insistent and I felt my body actually responding to it. But before I was pulled to my feet, the feeling vanished. It was weird. But deep in my bones, I knew that that was it. There would be no magical cure for me. I would either feed or die. My door number three had been slammed shut in my face. At least Elena had gotten her cure.
"Lexa?" I glanced to the side to see Ellie peering at me through the bars, an excited expression on her face as her cheeks flushed with a healthy, human glow. "Did it work for you too?"
I didn't want to destroy that excitement. But I also couldn't lie to her. I couldn't give her hope that I would be okay, when I potentially wouldn't be. When my only hope was a miracle. One that was looking more and more unlikely by the second.
But I think the look on my face told her everything. My sister gasped, her eyes shining with worry, before she turned to the side, resting a hand on the wooden wall that separated her and Stefan, "Stefan, we have to do something. We have to save Alexa."
I could see the vampire's face and I knew that he was losing hope. His girl was safe and that was all that he could hope for. Saving me might not be possible. I could see that on his face. And a part of me respected him for that. He wasn't giving me false hope, even if he would end up giving it to my sister. If only to spare her from the pain for a couple more hours. To help her through the uncertainty of what could happen, what probably will, happen to me.
Elena banged on the bars, but with her human strength, they didn't even shake. She wasn't strong enough to get over to me. She was stuck watching me fade away, unable to do anything. And there wasn't anything that I could do to save her from that. I couldn't save anyone from anything. I was too weak, unable to lift my head. So I did the only thing that I could.
I gave her a smile.
It was weak and probably looked a bit depressing. But I was trying. And that was all that I could do.
XXX
It was Rebekah who broke the silence next. She had been quiet for a while, probably brooding over the fact that she was no longer able to watch my sister die. She had sounded quite gleeful when she mentioned it earlier. Now the only person that she can watch die is me. Well, I say watch, due to the placing of the cells, she would only be able to hear me die.
Speaking of Elena, she had been watching me with worried eyes ever since she realised that the miracle cure hadn't worked on me. She had alternated between staring at me intently and pacing her cell, looking for any weaknesses. I didn't expect her to find any. Whoever was running this operation seemed to be well organised. In fact, they were so well organised, that it felt like a plan that Evil Alaric had put together before the unfortunate happened. At this point, nothing would surprise me. But anyways, I digress.
"Alexa," Rebekah's voice was soft when she spoke, and it took me a moment for it to register. "I, uh, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for what I did to you. I never meant to hurt you. I just wanted to save my family. After hearing what happened to Niklaus, I reacted emotionally. I lashed out, desperate to save the brothers that I had left."
"Ah fuck," I muttered, closing my eyes. She knew exactly which buttons to hit to get me to accept her apology. But I didn't want to accept it. Her actions had led to my sister dying. And then entering the transition. Yeah, somehow, Bonnie managed to reverse it and bring Ellie back to life. But the fact of the matter was that she should never have been in that situation in the first place. "I don't want to accept your apology, Rebekah. Do I get where you are coming from? Yeah, I guess I do. It is the sort of thing that I would do. But I cannot forgive you for killing my sister. That wasn't accidental. You deliberately tracked her down and killed her. So while I acknowledge your apology, I cannot accept it. Not yet."
"Alexa, you shouldn't accept it at all," Elena snapped, glaring at the Original in the cell next to me. "She's the reason why you are dying right now. She killed us. She doesn't deserve to be forgiven, just because she was trying to protect her family. Her family who had tried to kill us numerous times before."
"Here we go," I muttered when the blonde got defensive. Which was to be expected. She had never liked my sister. But considering the situation we were in now; those emotions had inevitably been heightened. Which meant that any slightly dodgy word would be enough to cause the mood to explode. And explode it did.
"What would you have done, if you were in my situation?" Rebekah retorted, glaring right back with narrowed eyes. "We all know that you would have done the same thing. In fact, you probably have done the same thing, hypocrite. Don't make me out to be the worst person on the planet, just because you are jealous of my friendship with your sister."
"I'm not jealous," my sister rolled her eyes, leaning forward as much as she can. "Alexa can be friends with whoever she wants. But you don't deserve her friendship and her loyalty. Not when you hurt her like you did."
"I feel like I'm in a custody battle," I sighed, closing my eyes and leaning my forehead against the cool metal of the bars. "Any other time, it would be fucking hilarious."
"Alexa, don't close your eyes," Stefan ordered softly, peering at me with worried green eyes. "If you fall asleep, you might not wake up."
"Ah, Stef, so cheerful," I mumbled, forcing my eyes back open. I was very much aware that the two other ladies in the room had stopped arguing. Rolling my eyes, I groaned weakly, "Guys, stop acting like I'm already dead. I'll be fine. Death has tried to take me, like, five times already. There's no way that I'm giving it the satisfaction of taking me now." I winced and shifted slightly, trying to relieve my aching body. "Now go back to fighting, it's quite a flattering feeling, having you two bicker over me."
I knew that my words had made them all feel uncomfortable. But I couldn't bring myself to care. Considering the fact that I was the person in the room who was in the most danger, I could allow myself some uncomfortable words. But I also needed to hear them. I had beaten death so many times, well, kind of. Death hadn't been able to keep me. I wouldn't let it keep me now. Something would save me. Either I would save myself, Damon would pull something out of the bag or Elena would surprise everyone. But something had to happen. I needed it to happen. I needed to have that hope now.
A thought occurred to me and I cleared my throat, "Rebekah, when I get out of this as a super cool new vampire. You can start to make it up to me. But I'm warning you, I'll have all of eternity so I will hold a grudge for as long as needed. So you have a lot of making up to do. And I will make you work for it."
"I wouldn't expect anything different," Rebekah nodded, sounding closer than she did before. "And I swear to you, I will spend as long as necessary to try and win back your friendship."
"Lol, everyone wants to be my friend," I mumbled, my eyes slipping closed against my will. "Even Evil Damon wanted to be my friend when he first arrived in town. Everyone loves me."
"Of course they do, Lexa," Ellie smiled softly, but I could hear the tears in her voice. "You're awesome like that."
"Damn straight I am."
XXX
It was dark outside.
And I was officially out of time.
My lungs rattled in my chest with each gasp that I forced out. The only thing keeping my body upright was the bars, as I rested heavily against them. I hadn't been blessed with a miracle and now there was no time. I could feel my heart beating weakly, slowly giving up.
"Stefan," Elena spoke, her voice urgent and I could feel her eyes on me. She hadn't stopped watching as the life slowly left my body. I knew that she felt powerless. That she wanted to save me. But there was nothing that she could do. She was trapped in a cell, doomed to watch her twin die.
"What happened?" the vampire immediately answered, pausing from his weak inspections of the cell. The deputies had been in, now and then, to change the vervain, giving it a prod, making sure that it kept on poisoning the air. And as a result, both of the vampires in the room had been left weak, barely able to move.
"Alexa's out of time," my sister sounded like she was about to cry as she shook the bars of her cell. "She needs blood. I can't… I can't let her die. We have to help her. Please. Help me save her."
I managed to open my eyes and saw Stefan staring at me. He knew that I was out of time, that there was only one thing that could save me. And now risks had to be taken to get me the blood that I needed. Because there was no way that he would let me die in front of my twin. And I liked to think that he cared about me enough that he didn't want me to die. He cared about me before. Hopefully the past few months hadn't changed that.
"Hey!" the vampire shouted, pounding weakly on his bars, making them rattle. "Anyone, hey!"
"Hey!" my twin added her voice to the shouts. "Please, somebody!"
"Will you shut up?" Rebekah rolled her eyes at my sister, but she was ignored. Elena wouldn't put up with her nonsense right now, she had more important things to worry about. Like saving her twin sister.
"You think that we're afraid of you?" Stefan challenged the deputies lurking outside. And as expected, they took the bait. Idiots. They had such fragile egos; it really was pathetic. No wonder vampires flocked to our town, when we had idiots like them protecting it. If it wasn't for Sheriff Forbes, our town would be completely doomed.
The deputy that walked in, let's call him Dumbo, glanced around the barn with a sneer before approaching Stefan's cell. He stood far enough away that he wasn't in arms reach, but close enough that he could pretend that he was being intimidating, "You want more vervain? Keep it down."
But the younger vampire didn't back down. He reminded me of the Stefan that I used to know, the one that I wanted to be with my sister. The one that I thought of as a brother. The one that left town with Klaus. He glared at the deputy, gesturing over at me, "Listen to me. Alexa is going to die if you don't let her out of here."
I glanced up to see Dumbo look over at me, his sneer deepening, before turning back to Stefan and shrugging, "Sorry, not my problem. Let the vampire whore die."
Oh wow. Talk about a judgy little asshole. Damn, I wanted to eat him. And why was I thinking like that? Get it together, Alexa, you need to think clearly if you're going to survive.
"Please," my twin started to beg, clinging onto the bars. "She's human, just like us. Please, let her out. Let me help her. Don't let my sister die in here."
Dumbo snorted and shook his head, before turning to walk away. I rolled my eyes weakly before allowing them to slip closed. I knew that it wasn't going to work. But the little gleam of hope that I had died sadly. I didn't know what else they could try.
Apparently, Stefan had thought of something. My sister's begging must have gotten to him. I would like to think that my friendship also influenced his actions. But either way, I appreciated them. With a frustrated growl, the vampire rushed towards the deputy, shouting, "Let them out!"
In a move that we probably should have expected, Dumbo turned around and pulled out his gun. He shot Stefan twice in the stomach. The vampire fell to the ground, hand covering the wounds. I assumed that the bullets were wooden, as Stefan looked quite pained. As one probably would after being shot, to be fair.
But he wasn't one to be kept down. And I started to remember why I was thinking about forgiving him for his actions over the past few months. And damn it all, I wanted to forgive him. Hopefully I would have time to do so. Because he deserved something, for what he had been doing to help me.
Stefan got back up and rushed towards the bars again, as my sister's cries echoed around the barn. She was begging Dumbo to leave him alone, to not hurt him again. But Dumbo didn't listen. Like the Dumbo he was.
"I said, let them out!" Stefan snarled at the deputy, allowing his fangs to come out, the veins under his eyes rippling. Dumbo shot him again, this time in the leg. With a roll of the eyes, he left the barn, closing the door behind him. Outside, I could hear him laughing with the other deputies. And I thought to myself, would eating him really be a bad thing to do?
"Stefan," Elena called out as the vampire fell to the ground again, clutching his leg. And I couldn't stop myself from feeling guilty as I saw blood leaking from his wounds. Wounds that he had gotten trying to help me.
XXX
Stefan dragged himself back over to the wall closest to my sister. With a grunt, he pulled a wooden bullet out of his leg, dropping it to the side. He worked on the ones in his chest as he looked over at me, his gaze full of pain and regret, "Alexa, I'm so sorry."
I smiled weakly, acutely aware of the sweat dripping down my face, "'s'cool dude, don't worry about it. Don't sweat it. We still have time to try another deputy. But I vote that we just eat this one. Their yapping is annoying."
"We all know that that isn't true," the vampire looked at me before shaking his head. It was the pity in his eyes that hurt. I didn't want to be pitied. I just wanted to have my life back.
"Damn, Stef, don't burst my bubble," I closed my eyes as I closed my fist around the ring that Damon had given me. I couldn't have him here with me in my last moments, but at least I had a part of him.
The bitchy part of me couldn't help but point out that Elena had her guy with her. She always got to have her guy with her. Hell, I was forced to abandon Damon, to not go to him in what I thought were his last moments, because of Stefan. Elena can claim as much as she wants that it was because of the fact that we had friends there, but I knew the truth. She wanted to see Stefan in his final moments. And because of that, I was denied the same with my boyfriend. I tried not to be bitter about it, about the fact that she always got that she wanted. Like she didn't want to be a vampire and hey presto, a magical way to stop it was found. It was kind of unfair. And I didn't want to hate her for it, because she didn't want to be a vampire. But so many others didn't, and they never got cured. So why was Elena so special? Ugh, don't think like that, Alexa. It's not healthy. And I should be happy that my twin got what she wanted.
But it was hard, especially since I was so close to what I wanted and now I was probably going to die. It was hard to stay hopeful, especially when I could feel my heart giving up.
"Alexa, I can hear you breathing, I can see how weak you are," Stefan's eyes were filled with sadness, even as the tears dripped from my sister's eyes. "Damon was right, you should have fed this morning. I'm so sorry."
"Honestly, Stefan, it's fine," my hand flopped as I tried to wave away his worries. "If it's any consolation, I was going to feed when these assholes snatched me. I just didn't do it in time, because I felt the need to seek my family's approval over it. Which feels foolish in hindsight, because it was my decision. I just didn't want them to hate me over it."
"You had no control over that, Lexa," Ellie tried to reassure me. "You did what you could. We should have just fed this morning. And then you wouldn't be in this situation."
"Ellie," I frowned, making sure that she knew that I disapproved of her words even with my eyes closed. "If we had fed this morning, then you wouldn't be human again. And I know that being a vampire was the last thing that you wanted. So you got what you wanted, I just fucked up on my timing."
Like always.
Taking too long to do something was apparently a nasty habit of mine. I had taken too long to tell Luke my feelings and then when I did, he died not long later. I took so long to tell Damon that I loved him, and now it looked like I was going to die. And now, I had taken too long to feed and I was going to die as a result of that. Honestly, it was fucking ridiculous. I thought that I was spontaneous, but apparently not. Not when it came to the things that mattered.
"That's not fair, we should both get what we want," my twin protested, shaking the bars in frustration. "It's my fault that you didn't feed this morning. You waited because I wanted to wait. Because I thought that there was a miracle cure, so that I wouldn't turn into a vampire. I got that. And now you're suffering."
I tried to roll my eyes, but that was too much energy, so instead, I slurred, "Stef, be a dear and tell her that she's being stupid. I don't have the energy for that right now."
"You're being stupid," another voice said instead. Apparently, Rebekah had decided to join the conversation again. "Yes, you got what you wanted, like you always do. Precious Elena, who can't handle the thought of being a vampire, manages to do what no one else has done. Congratulations. But this isn't about you and your silly little feelings, not right now. Save Alexa and then you can carry out your little pity party."
"Are you going to help me do that?" Ellie challenged the Original, glaring at her. "Or are you just going to provide unhelpful commentary, like you've been doing?"
Rebekah narrowed her eyes but kept her tone calm, "I'm going to help. Alexa is my friend, even if she isn't very happy with me right now."
I coughed, "Understatement."
But my words were ignored. Instead, the two vampires and my sister started plotting. They weren't going to be able to get me out of here, so they had to bring the blood to me. And they had to get creative. It wasn't like they could ask one of the deputies to open a vein for me. Although it would have been amusing to see their reaction. Especially if it was Dumbo again.
XXX
Fortunately, it didn't take long for the deputies to make another appearance. They had more vervain with them, talking between themselves. I was just about aware of their presence, too weak to open my eyes. Everything felt like so much effort. And I prayed that the others implemented their plan quickly.
The two vampires exchanged glances when the deputies entered, with Rebekah nodded at Stefan. She had agreed to do whatever it took to save me, eager to renew our friendship. I was willing to consider forgiving her for her part in my death, if she helped to save me. See, I was a generous person.
"I got this," Dumbo declared and I let out a tiny snort. "Bring the other one in."
Other one? They had another vampire in here? Wonder who it was. And which cell they were going to put them in. In a serious lack of foresight, the idiots had only made four cells. Seriously, did they just not consider the fact that they might capture more than four vampires? It was a bit stupid. And I judged them for it.
The other deputy nodded, glancing around at us 'evil beings' before exiting the barn. And in that single move, they were playing right into our hands. It was always going to be a lot easier to deal with one deputy than it was two. And now here was our chance.
Once the other deputy was gone, Rebekah let out a weak cough, acting weaker that she actually was. She called out hoarsely, "Excuse me? Hello, sir?"
To play it up even more, she started coughing even more. I had to give it to her, she was a good actress. I almost believed her. But the main thing was that the deputy believed her. Dumbo narrowed his eyes as he pulled his gun out of his holster. He flicked off the safety before walking over to the Original's cell.
"I thought I told you to shut up," he spat, trying to look threatening. It didn't work. He just looked pathetic. Like a toddler acting tough, it just wasn't believable.
"Here's the thing, my family, we," the blonde let out another cough, keeping the weak act up. "We have money, castles, apartments, jewellery; just name your price and let me out."
As expected, Dumbo got cocky, believing that Rebekah was acting weak and not a threat to him. With a sneer, he got closer to her cell, "I'd much rather watch you die."
Honestly, he was making it too easy. And I was enjoying every second of it. Because his stupidity was benefitting me.
With the trap set and bait taken, it was time.
With a snarl, Rebekah let her fangs extend, the veins under her eyes rippling. Despite the vervain poisoning the air, she was able to rush towards the bars. Dumbo practically shat himself. He jumped back, falling over his feet as he struggled to lift his gun up and aim it. But his fright had taken him too far back.
His back knocked into the bars of Stefan's cell. And the younger vampire sprang into action. He grabbed Dumbo by the neck, forcing him to drop his gun. Then, with a few hard slams, he smashed the deputy's head open.
The moment that I could smell the blood, I managed to force my eyes open. With a disgusted grunt, Stefan threw Dumbo's dead body to the ground, trying to get it as close as possible to my cell. I watched the body fall with wide eyes. All I could think about was the smell of the blood.
The blood that was slowly oozing across the floor towards me. I stretched out, desperate to reach it, desperate to live. But the body hadn't fallen close enough. And the blood wasn't moving quick enough. And my arms were just a tad too short.
I could hear my sister encouraging me, her voice mixing with Stefan at times. Their commands to stretch, to just reach out a little further, fell on deaf ears. I didn't need any encouragement. I just stretched my fingers out as far as I could. But the blood wasn't close enough yet.
As I waited, fingers still outstretched, I could feel the thudding of my heart. But knowing that I was so close to what I needed, it gave me the strength that I desperately needed. My body wanted to live and it was doing everything that it could to do so.
It felt like an entire lifetime before I was able to reach the blood. But the moment that I felt it reach my fingers, I pulled my arm back. For a second, I hesitated, foolishly wondering if I should. If this was what life wanted for me. But no, fuck that. Life had screwed me over far too many times. I was going to do what I wanted to do. I was going to live, I was going to turn, and I was going to be strong enough to protect myself and my loved ones.
So with a shaking arm, I reached up towards my mouth. My fingers touched my lips, tongue licking the blood off of my fingers. My eyes fluttered closed as I felt strength returning to my body. It was euphoric. Rebekah was right, the feeling was just indescribable. Energy pulsed through my body, lighting up every nerve within. There was a sharp pain in my gums and I reached up to feel fangs forming. My hearing and eyesight were definitely better, to the point where I could hear my sister's beating heart from across the room. I felt instantly stronger, like I could do anything. Including kicking down the cell door.
I held my breath before the vervain could take hold and weaken me. Using my new strength, I aimed a strong kick at the cell door. I watched with satisfaction as it flew open, crashing against the wall. Well, now I was free. And all I could think about was getting to the body in front of me and getting more blood.
XXX
I had been distracted by the blood from my sister. She had called out my name, a desperate look on her face. And, in an extreme show of self-control, one that I knew wouldn't be replicated for a long time, I managed to walk past the blood.
I opened her cell door, and rushed into my arms. I held her close, finally able to convince myself that she was properly okay. I could feel her heart beating, the blood rushing through her veins. And I realised that I was screwed.
I could feel my mouth watering at the smell of her skin and the blood hiding beneath. I pushed her away quickly, darting away, stumbling over the body behind me. I could feel my face changing. But I didn't need to, the fearful expression of her face said it all. I cleared my throat and looked away, avoiding her gaze. I tried not to think about the fear in her eyes. She tried to hide it, but I knew that it was there. And that's when I realised the downside of my choice. My loved ones, the human ones, would fear me. Even when I learnt how to control my hunger, they would still fear me. And that thought hurt my heart.
Luckily, before anyone could say anything, I heard a welcome voice outside. With one last glance at my sister, regret squeezing my heart, I dashed outside. I paused as the cool air hit my skin, but for once, I didn't feel the cold. I have to admit that I took a second to enjoy it before resuming my search.
I heard voices again and followed them. It helped that I could smell blood in that direction too. And it was hard to ignore it. Like incredibly hard. If it was any other voice, other than Damon's, then I might not have managed it. As it was, it was a struggle. I knew that the hunger was hard, but I didn't think that it was this all-consuming. It didn't look like this for Caroline. She seemed to handle it frustratingly well. So did that mean that I was just weak?
I turned a corner to see Damon helping Matt to his feet, passing him a napkin. With a slightly disgruntled look, he checked on the wound on the human's neck. Unfortunately, that move drew my attention to the blood. There wasn't a lot, it looked like a superficial injury, but there was enough blood that my mouth started watering. That, for a moment, it consumed all of my attention. Every nerve in my body was screaming for me to drink that blood, to feed. But I managed to regain some composure.
I cleared my throat, still staring at Matt's neck, and whispered, "Damon."
My vampire turned around, eyes wide, a delighted expression on his face as he murmured, "Alexa."
"The others are in the barn," I told Matt, still staring at his neck. The fact that I hadn't rushed over to him yet, desperate to feed, was a miracle. Luckily, Damon took the hint and encouraged the human to leave the scene. Matt did so, not needing much prompting. I just about managed to tear my gaze away from him, returning it to my boyfriend.
He started at me, a smile starting to form on his face as he held his arms open. I didn't need much more encouragement. I dashed over, moving quicker than I expected, and crashed into his open arms. Damon immediately wrapped me up into a hug as I wrapped my legs around his waist.
With an unexpected desperation, I tangled my fingers in his hair and kissed him, devouring his mouth as his fingers dug into my ass. And for the first time, I didn't need to pull back for air. I kissed him for as long as I wanted to, ignoring the world around me.
But eventually I pulled away, pressing my forehead against his, "I honestly thought that I would never see you again. Again. For the second time in, like, two days. Oh god, Day, I love you."
"I love you too," he murmured, one hand reaching up to trace the veins rippling under my eyes. "You look gorgeous like this."
"Flatterer," I rolled my eyes, smiling widely. I could feel my fangs against my lip as I did so. It was a weird feeling, one that would take a while to get used to.
"Only if the truth counts as flattery," Damon smirked, leaning in to nuzzle my neck. I titled my head back, gripping his hair as he sucked on my neck.
"Don't be cheeky," I hummed, closing my eyes. "Day… I remember everything. I remember our first kiss. The night that you helped rescue me and Elena from Elijah.
"I remembered if you would," he sighed against my neck, holding me closer. "I'm sorry that I never told you."
"Hey," I encouraged him to look at me, cupping his face as I leant down to kiss his nose. "I'm not mad. It was actually one of the nicer memories that I remembered. And I helped to explain a lot." I let a smirk form on my face, "But if you think that I won't hold this over you for a long time, then you are sorely mistaken. Because I have forever now."
"Yeah, you do," my boyfriend smiled up at me, looking truly happy. "And you want to spend it with me?"
"Who else would I spend it with, Day?" I rolled my eyes playfully, feeling my new fangs scrap against my lip again. "Stefan? Ugh, he'll make me eat bambie." I paused before a horrified look formed on my face, "Oh god, you don't think that he'll try and make me eat cute little animals, do you?"
"I won't let him," Damon promised me, letting me down and tucking me under his arm. "I'm going to make sure that you learn everything the right way, and enjoy it as much as you can."
"I wouldn't have any other teacher," I smiled softly, enjoying the feel of him against my skin, which was feeling even more sensitive than before.
XXX
Damon took me back to the Boarding House, wanting to keep me far away from any humans while I started to learn to control my hunger. I reassured Elena that it was okay before I sent her home to Jenna and Jeremy. I knew that she would tell them what happened and I would speak to them tomorrow. But for now, I just wanted to spend some time with my boyfriend, needing to be near him after what had happened the past couple of days.
Wanting to wash away the day, I took advantage of Damon's amazing bath, running it nice and hot, using plenty of bubbles. I quickly stripped, throwing my clothes to the side. I would probably bin them, not wanting to be reminded of how I nearly died. Permanently, this time. Yeah, binning them sounded like a good idea.
I let the warm water surround me, relaxing for the first time in days. Ugh, it just felt so nice. I let my eyes close as I leant back, enjoying the warmth. I didn't know how long I had been in there when a voice asked, "Mind if I join?"
I opened my eyes to see Damon looking down at me. A lazy smirk formed on my face as I sat forward, "I would be delighted."
My boyfriend smirked back as he quickly stripped, climbing in behind me. The moment he was settled, I sat back, resting against his chest. Damon wrapped his arms around me, holding me close. Apparently I wasn't the only one who had been affected by the past couple of days. My vampire gently stroked the skin of my hip, resting his chin on the top of my head.
"Hmm, that feels good," I hummed, closing my eyes again. "It feels even more good than normal. Or am I imagining it?"
"Your senses are heightened," Damon replied, his arm brushing against my breast, making me shiver. "All of your senses, including your skin."
"Well, that's gonna make things interesting," I mused, allowing myself to enjoy the feel of Damon's skin. "Hopefully it'll be a good thing, because I need some stuff in the good column to start off with."
"I'll help you through this, Ally, don't you worry."
"Now, how can I worry when I'm in the arms of one of the sexiest people on this planet?" I smirked, titling my head back to look at him. As I did so, I caught sight of the sun peaking through the window, a red sky accompanying it. "Ah shit, I forgot about that part."
Damon followed my gaze before shaking his head, "You don't need to worry about that." I frowned, about to ask why when he reached over to grab something from the floor. He picked up a small box, opening it and holding it in front of me. Inside sat a ring with a lapis lazuli stone in the middle. On either side sat three diamonds, mirroring each other as they sparkled in the light. "The witch owed me a favour, so I cashed it in a while ago. Ready for when you turned."
"Oh Day," I sighed happily, letting him place the daylight ring on my hand, coincidentally taking the place of my old Gilbert Ring. "You're the best. Thank you."
"You're a vampire now, Alexa," Damon whispered in my ear, the feel of his breath making me shiver. "I want you to enjoy your new life."
And you know what? I had a feeling that I would.
XXX
A/N: Thank you for the reviews! Please keep them coming! They were really good to read and I'm glad you all enjoyed the end of season 3 :) I'm aiming to get to 550 reviews by the end of the season, so let's start strong! And if you have any suggestions or requests, I'm always happy to hear! Until next time xoxo
