Disclaimer: I only own my OCs
A/N: I hope that you all enjoyed the first chapter of season 4! This chapter has a few more twists and turns, while Alexa gets used to being a vampire. I feel as though I'm a bit mean to Elena, but she has a lot of emotions to work through herself, and it won't be easy for her either. But the twins will always work it out in the end :)
XXX
There was one thing about being a vampire that I was still getting used to, even after half a day, and that was the super hearing. It was really weird. And kind of annoying. All I wanted to do was shower in peace, before I went road tripping with Damon. But did I get that? Noooo, of course not.
Instead, I had to listen to the Salvatore brothers, and my sister, bicker. What were they bickering over, I hear you ask? Well, the answer was me. They were arguing over the best way to teach me how to feed. Apparently, Stefan had gotten into his feelings about it, probably encouraged by my sister, and wanted to take over teaching me. Which was hilarious. Because everyone knew that there was no way in hell that I would let anyone other than Damon teach me how to control my hunger and bloodlust. He knew me, he knew how my mind worked. I trusted him. You know who I didn't trust to teach me? The blood addict. Was that harsh? Probably. Did I care? Hell fucking no. I hadn't forgotten what Stefan had done over the past few months, even if my sister had. She was acting all friendly towards him again, even if they weren't snogging yet.
"Damon, this isn't right," Elena was berating my boyfriend, and I just knew that she had that pouty look on her face. "I don't want you teaching Alexa to feed on people."
Realising that I wouldn't get the peaceful shower that I was after, I turned off the water and got out. I wrapped a towel around myself while Stefan added his unwanted opinion, "You need to let me try another way, Damon. If I can get Alexa used to animal blood straight away, then it'll be better for her. She can avoid all of the problems that we went through."
I could hear Damon getting frustrated as he ground out, "Look, we all know that Alexa has an addictive personality. Hell, she was one step away from becoming an alcoholic during the lead up to the sacrifice. She needs to learn how to control the bloodlust." He paused for a moment before adding, "Hey Stef, remember the last addict that got turned? A young lady called Vicki Donovan. You started her off with animal blood and she couldn't control her hunger, which led to her getting killed. I will not let that happen to Alexa."
"Alexa isn't anything like Vicki," the younger brother argued and I rolled my eyes. I was going to get change before I interrupted, but I had a feeling that bones would be broken if I didn't intervene sooner. So even though I was still wrapped in just a towel, I made my way down to the parlour. "Vicki didn't want to learn how to control it, she didn't care about that." That felt a bit harsh to me, but I didn't know enough to argue the point. "Alexa won't be like that. She won't want to hurt someone; she cares too much. She always has and that has been magnified."
"Don't tell me what my girl is like, Stefan," my boyfriend growled, slamming a glass down on the table. "I know her better than you. And I know that she needs to learn how to cope with feeding on human blood."
"Oh come on, you know what happens," Stefan was clearly getting frustrated too. I could just imagine his forehead crinkling in that way it often does. "You name me a vampire who didn't kill at least one person when they were new."
I got to the top of the stairs just in time to see Damon narrow his eyes, "You name me one who went on a bunny diet and didn't kill dozens."
"No, Damon, I won't take the risk that she accidentally kills someone," my sister spoke up, interrupting the staring contest between the brothers. "It'll break her if she does. And I won't let her get in the position where she turns off her humanity switch."
"Oh please, it happens to the best of us at least once," Damon rolled his eyes, before his gaze flicked up to me. "We get over it… eventually."
"Eventually?" I mouthed, raising an eyebrow in amusement before shaking my head. At the amused look he gave me, I finally snorted and made my way down the stairs. "Day is right. I can't control something if I've never actually experienced it. Ergo, I need to experience the bloodlust. Besides, I trust Damon to get me through this."
"Well I don't," Elena declared and I rolled my eyes.
"Shocker," I muttered, adjusting my towel, smirking at the way Stefan averted his eyes. "Look, Ellie, I want to do this properly. No cheating, no shortcuts. Like it or not, I am a vampire now. So I am going to actually be a vampire. Even if it means dealing with the ugliness of the bloodlust."
"Lexa," my twin shook her head, and I didn't like the look in her eyes. "I don't like it. I don't want you to hurt anyone."
"And I won't," I reassured her. "If I learn how to control this." While I had been talking, my vampire had walked over to me, placing his hand on my back. I glanced up at him before sighing, "Now, we do actually have to leave. If you two won't let us, then I will drop this towel and drive you out of the room."
"Alexa!" Elena gasped, looking scandalised while Stefan cleared his throat and looked away. As bad as it sounded, it was hilarious how uncomfortable he was. Honestly, he was such a prude.
"Elena!" I repeated mockingly before shaking my head. "Look, this is my choice. And I won't be talked out of it. So, I'll see you in a couple of days."
Before either one of them could argue with my words, Damon wrapped an arm around my waist and whisked me away. He put me down in his bedroom, closing the door behind him and looked down at me, eyebrow raised, "You'll drop your towel?"
I laughed and shrugged, "I couldn't think of anything else that would get us out of there. And your brother is such a prude, I knew that he would get uncomfortable."
"Still, no one else is allowed to see this," Damon growled lowly, a predatory gleam in his eyes as he slowly undid my towel. "This view is for me only."
"Hmm," I smirked, cocking out my hip, resting my hand on it. "Damn straight it is."
XXX
How we managed to get on the road without having sex was a disturbing miracle. Disturbing because it had been so long since I had last had sex and I was practically begging for it. But Damon decided that I should adjust to my vampire body before I had sex again. It was very annoying, even if I did understand why. But I was horny and even getting myself off in front of him didn't work. Damn him and his secret gentlemanly side.
So I sat in the car, letting my dress ride up to an indecent level, showing off a scandalous amount of thigh. If I wasn't going to get my way, then I was going to make it difficult for Damon. Who was keep his eyes on the road a lot more than he usually did. But he did appease me by resting his hand on my thigh, just above my knee, when the opportunity presented itself. And that was enough for now.
His touch, which was electrify before, was now intoxicating. Just feeling his skin brush against mine had ever nerve in my body singing. And I couldn't get enough. Seriously, I just had to be touching him all the time. It was insane. But luckily for me, my boyfriend indulged my need for touching. I guess it was a part of his determination to get me through this newbie vampire stage as painlessly as possible.
I had absolutely no idea where we were going. Damon had been keeping it a secret and I was intrigued as to way. And no matter how many times I asked, he refused to tell me. He just kept on giving me that shit-eating smirk each time. So in the end, I just pouted and crossed my arms, doing my best to emphasise my cleavage.
We had been on the road a couple of hours when I sighed and looked over at my boyfriend, "Day, I'm hungry."
Ever since I completed the transition several hours ago, I had felt the hunger rumbling in the back of my mind. But now I couldn't ignore it anymore. It was consuming my mind, even more so than my desire to fuck my boyfriend. But the scarier thing was, I was beginning to see why it was called one of the darkest parts of becoming a vampire. It ate away at your mind, until it was all you could think about. I knew that I had to learn how to control it, but right now, that felt like an impossible task.
Damon glanced over at me, a sympathetic look in his eyes, before he reached behind the seat. He rummaged around for a moment before pulling out a blood bag. I crinkled my nose as he gave it to me. Because even though it was sealed, the smell was disturbingly delicious.
I accepted the blood bag with a sighed, "Thanks baby," before opening it. I took a few sips before groaning, "Ugh, it's cold. And yet I can't get enough. Dear god this feels so weird. Like how do you wrap your head around the fact that you're drinking blood? Am I rambling? I feel like I'm rambling. But if I don't keep talking then I'm going to continue drinking and it feels really weird that I will be doing that."
Honestly, I would have kept on speaking if Damon hadn't rested a finger against my lips. He glanced over at me, a soft look on his face, "Baby, just breathe. I know, I understand, it will take some time for you to get used to it. But you're allowed to admit that."
"I dunno, it doesn't really feel like I can," I sighed, taking another sip from the bag in my hands. "I mean, I chose this. I was really vocal about choosing this. It just feels like I'm admitting that I was wrong to want this if I say that I'm struggling with it. And I can't admit that, especially not to the people back home. They won't understand."
"Ally, you're allowed to struggle and the others will understand," he paused before caveating, "Well, the vampire ones will. But that's okay. Only those who had dealt with the hunger know what it is truly like. So forget about what they think. I'll get you through this, all I want from you is for you to tell me how you're feeling."
"That might be a dangerous thing," I smiled weakly, feeling my eyes burn with tears. "Because I'm feeling a lot of things that don't make sense and I don't really know how to explain them without rambling on for ages. Like I'm doing now. Oh no." I wiped away a traitorous errant tear before drinking more. "I don't even know why I'm crying. It's like, you say some nice words and my body is like 'yay, time for tears', the fucking thing."
Damon nodded, an understanding look on his face as he rested a hand on my thigh, "Your emotions are heightened. It'll take a bit of time for you to get used to it."
I wrinkled my nose as a thought hit me, "You know what it's like? It's like I'm constantly on my period. Which fucking sucks. I thought I had escaped PMS. But nope, I was wrong."
My boyfriend laughed and didn't even bother hiding it when I gave him a dirty look, "Don't laugh at me. I'm being pitiful. If anything, that should earn me some sympathy sex. Is the constant horniness normal, by the way? Because nothing is scratching that itch."
"Oh that is very normal," Damon winked at me, his hand momentarily wandering higher up my thigh before going back down to a respectable location. "And something that I will be helping you with very soon."
"Well," I sniffed, crossing my arms as I placed the empty blood bag to the side. "You better do. Because it is getting unbearable."
Just like a lot of things. I swear, I was gonna make a list of all the unbearable shit just so that I knew what I was moaning about. Because the list was getting annoyingly long.
XXX
"Alexandria?" I gasped in excitement, pressing my face against the window as I saw the signs. "You're bringing me to Alexandria? The second city that was named after me? The symbol of my awesomeness? Oh my god, you're the best!"
Damon laughed, deep and throaty and definitely panty-dropping, "So much of what you said there was wrong, baby. But yes, I brought you to Alexandria." I knew that he was enjoying the wide smile on my face from the happiness in his eyes. It had been a while since I had smiled like this. And the fact that it was him was made me smile was even better.
"Damon," I turned to face him, a serious look trying and failing to form on my face. "I love you so much. Like seriously, I love you a stupid amount."
"I love you too, Ally," my boyfriend smiled back, one of those sweet smiles that he only gave me. "I'm glad you liked it."
"Lol I love it," I grinned, pulling out my phone to take a photo of the sign. "I can't wait to brag about it when we get home. None of those lot have a city named after them."
My boyfriend rolled his eyes at my continued insistence that the city was named after me, but he let me have it this time. Which I appreciated as I definitely needed this pick me up. The past few hours since I completed the transition kind of sucked. I mean, I was no longer dying, which was definitely a plus. But that constant hunger that plagued the back of my mind, the way that I wasn't used to my heightened senses, it was all a bit too much. And I didn't really deal well with that kind of thing.
I watched with excited eyes as Damon drove us to a small B&B near the waterfront. It was cute little thing, with flowers in the windows and a deep green awning. And it was close enough to the touristy areas that I didn't need to go far to eat. Well, once Damon had taught me how to snatch, eat and erase. And how to feed from someone without killing them. Yikes, there was more to this than I was expecting. Anyways, no need to panic about that yet.
Once we had our room and our bags were sorted, Damon turned to face me, an excited look in his eyes as he took my hands in his, "You ready to learn how to be a vampire?"
"Is it bad that I wanna say yes?" I laughed, my body humming with excitement. It wasn't that I was excited to go feed on people, as that was a really weird thought to get my brain around. It was the look in Damon's eyes. I didn't know how long he had been waiting to do this, but now that the opportunity was here, he was embracing it. And it was his excitement that had me grinning broadly, glancing out the window. The sun was warm in the sky, close to setting, and I enjoyed its warmth on my skin. My skin that never got cold anymore. It was a nice feeling.
"Not at all," my boyfriend smiled back, looking relaxed for the first time in a long time. And I was grateful for that. I loved it when he was relaxed. And I was determined to keep it that way for as long as possible. So I used his grip on my hands to tug him out of the room and outside.
As we headed to the busier areas of town, the noise became almost overwhelming. There were voices everywhere, people laughing and singing and just chatting. But there was something that I could hear over that. Heartbeats. I could hear blood being pumped around people's bodies, gushing beneath their skin. And it made my mouth water.
"So, what are we learning first?" I asked Damon, trying not to get too distracted from the warm bodies around us. It was hard, but I was determined not to go off the rails and start eating random people. I didn't want to hurt anyone. And I knew that it was a risk, which was why I was determined to learn how to do this properly.
"Well, since I know that you are hungry," my boyfriend hummed, raising his eyebrow at me when I muttered that I wasn't. "I thought that it would be best to teach you how to feed from someone without killing them."
"That is probs a good idea," I agreed, unable to take my eyes off of a woman walking past me. I could hear her heart thudding in her chest and felt my mouth water. But there was something worse, I could feel my fangs against my lips. With a muttered curse, I turned and buried my vamped-out face in Damon's chest. "Holy shit how do I get rid of this?"
Damon rested his hand on my back as he directed me to an alley. After a quick glance around, he rested me back against the wall, cupping my face. I pouted up at him pitifully as I failed to get rid of my scary new face. With a sigh, he leant forward, placing kisses to the prominent veins under my eyes, he murmured, "Just take a deep breath, Ally." I did as he encouraged, breathing deeply, in and out. "You just need to relax. When you feel it, just remind yourself that you're okay, that you'll get through this. And eventually, you'll be able to control it."
I nodded and closed my eyes, concentrating on the feel of Damon's hands on my skin. I let out a breath, repeating his words to myself. And slowly but surely, I felt the fangs disappear, the veins retreat. Once I was sure that they were gone, I opened my eyes, looking up in Damon's eyes. He smiled softly, a proud look in his eyes as he nodded, "That's my girl."
"Day, stop it, you'll make me blush," I cleared my throat, glancing away, back towards the busy street before sighing, "It feels so weird, learning how to control my body again. I didn't think that I would have to do that until menopause hit." I paused before adding, "And now it never will. Yikes. Okay, find me something… someone?... to eat before I start getting emotional again."
My boyfriend laughed, leaning in to give me a quick kiss before glancing over to the main area, "Wait here. I'll lure someone in. Once you know how to feed from someone, I'll let you try compelling them."
"Yessir," I nodded, content to lean back against the brick wall behind me while Damon went to go find someone. I ignored that funny feeling in my tummy, the one that was screaming 'what the fuck'. I knew that it would take some time for me to wrap my head around the fact that I would be eating someone. That I would be feeding from an actual human being. But I couldn't let that stop me. I knew that I had to learn how to control this. Damon was right when he said that I had an addictive personality. And I couldn't let myself get addicted to human blood. It would be dangerous and I would definitely end up hurting someone.
I had to admit to myself, even if I wouldn't admit it to anyone else, that I didn't quite realise what I was getting myself into when I decided to complete the transition. I mean, it was either that or die. But still, I had no idea what the hunger would be like, what changes my body would be going through. Not really. But I couldn't regret this. I had to embrace it. Even the horrible parts.
I was distracted from my thoughts by Damon's reappearance.
He was leading a guy over to us. He was slightly overweight, his hair thinning slightly, a blank look on his face. It was obvious that he had been compelled. Damon glanced over at me before gesturing for me to follow him further into the alley. I nodded and did as requested.
After depositing the guy against the wall, my boyfriend gestured for me to stand in front of him, facing the dude. Let's call him Bob. Once I was facing Bob, Damon rested his hands on my shoulders. His touch helped to ground me, to distract me from the warm body in front of me, the blood gushing beneath the skin. I could feel my fangs against my lips as the hunger sang, begging to be satiated.
"Now, Ally, the trick is to listen to the heartbeat," Damon whispered in my ear, his breath against my skin making me shiver. "Let it guide you, let it tell you when to stop."
I jerked my head in a nod, desperately trying to focus on his words and not the blood that I could sense. I repeated to myself that I could do this. I was strong enough to do this. I wouldn't hurt Bob; I wouldn't hurt anyone.
I glanced up at Damon one final time before darting forward. I barely hesitated before sinking my fangs into the human's neck, groaning as blood filled my mouth. It was warm and it was good and it was just what I needed. I was so caught up in the satisfaction that I forgot Damon's words about listening to the heartbeat. I just kept on drinking, determined to satiate the hunger.
It wasn't until hands grabbed my arms, pulling me away, a stern voice saying, "Alexa, you need to stop," that I realised what I was doing. I somehow managed to force my mind back into control, pushing away the hunger that still pulsed angrily at the back of my mind. I held a hand up to my mouth as Bob wobbled where he stood, that blank look still on his face.
I spun around, needing to look away from the blood, trying not to breath in the smell, and looked up at Damon with wide eyes, "I didn't hurt him, did I? Is he okay?"
"He's okay," my boyfriend reassured me, thumb stroking my cheek. "I stopped you before you did any damage. How do you feel?"
"Uh, still hungry?" I winced, licking away the blood on my lips. "But I feel good. I mean, I did it. I fed from someone. And I didn't kill them. Granted, you stopped me. But still, I did it."
"You did it," Damon smiled down at me. "The first feed is always that hardest. And you did well. Learning how to stop without help will come with time. But until that happens, I'll help you."
"I know you will," I smiled back, leaning up for a kiss. Damon groaned slightly as he tasted the blood on my lips before devouring my mouth. It clung onto him, as my body sung for a different reason. "Damon, I get that you're trying to be a gentleman, but if you don't fuck me right now, then we're going to have problems."
I heard a faint growl, before I was spun to the side. I was just about aware of Damon compelling Bob, ordering him to forget everything that happened, before I was being lifted into his arms. We somehow managed to get back to our room before I started ripping off his shirt.
My fingers dragged against his skin, followed by my lips. I couldn't get enough. I just wanted to touch him, to kiss him, all over. To feel him against me. Damon must have felt the same as my dress was quickly ripped off. I didn't even care as the buttons scattered around the room, quickly followed by the torn fabric. I just pulled my bra off, throwing it to the side before wrapping my arms around Damon's neck. I sucked on his lips, tasting the blood that he had taken from my lips earlier, while I undid his jeans, silently cursing the belt that held them up.
Damon laughed lowly before pulling them off himself before ripping off my panties. He cupped my ass, lifting me up, encouraging me to wrap my legs around his hips. Not that I needed the encouragement. I ground down against him as he attacked my neck, sucking and nibbling and driving me insane.
"Damon," I groaned out, not even caring to keep my voice down. I reached down, lining him up with my entrance. "Stop teasing me. Just fuck me."
"How can I say no to that?" he hummed against my neck, but I could hear how much this was affecting him in his voice. It was been too long since we had been able to do this. So much had gotten in the way, but now, we had all of eternity. And I wanted to spend it doing this.
I let out a high-pitched whine as he sunk into me, stretching me, completing me. My nails dug into his back, his fingers digging into my ass, as he slowly moved, short and sharp thrusts. Enough to drive me crazy. I panted out his name as he sucked on my nipples, fingers moving around to rub my sensitive clit, driving me crazy in every possible way.
It didn't take long for the tension to build, taking me slow close to the edge, but not close enough. I danced on that step, needing to fall over but not being given enough. I cursed Damon's name as he denied me that final step. I could feel his smirk against my skin as I tugged on his hair, begging him for more. And he gave me what I needed.
With a tilt of his hips and a twist of his thumb, he pushed me over the edge. I groaned out his name as I came, fingers digging into his back. It didn't take Damon long to reach orgasm after, whispering my name against my neck.
After a moment, he carried me over to the bed, laying down, cuddling me against his chest. I was content to just wrap my arms around him, resting my cheek against his firm chest as I muttered, "Vampire sex rules."
XXX
During the night, we went back out into town. Damon found me several people to feed from, figuring that it would be easier for me to feed a bit from a few people, than to take what I need from one person. Because we were quickly discovering that I had quite the appetite. Like, it took so much for me to not feel hungry anymore. My boyfriend was quick to repeat that it was normal for a new vampire. But it still worried me.
So, in order to make me feel better, Damon took me to one of the historical parks. It was late out, so no one was around. And it gave him the opportunity to teach me how to use my super new speed. Which was definitely exciting. I could feel it sometimes, my body trying to move quicker, but it just didn't know how.
So, with my belly full and hunger satiated, for now, we stood amongst the trees, the ground in front of illuminated by the moon in the sky. Damon's hands rested on my hips as he placed his chin on my shoulder. Despite the fact that we had not long ago had sex, I could feel my horniness returning. To the point where just the feel of his hands had my body humming.
"Now," Damon hummed, his breath teasing my sensitive neck. "All you have to do is trust your body. It knows what it wants to do. You just need to push off, using your strength, and the speed will follow."
I was so distracted by his thumbs rubbing small circles on my skin that I had to clear my throat, "Uh, can you repeat that?"
My boyfriend chuckled, that one that made me want to rip his clothes off, and whispered, "Getting distracted, baby?"
"Don't play innocent," I rolled my eyes and grumbled. "You know what you're doing."
"Hmm, maybe this will help you learn," Damon pulled my closer, so that I could feel every inch of his body against mine. "If you can catch me, then you can have your way with me."
In the few seconds that it took for his words to register, Damon disappeared. I let out a gasp and grumbled, "What? Hey! Damon! Get back here!"
I frowned and concentrated, using my new hearing to listen for any sign of my boyfriend. I knew that he was still around, he wouldn't leave me like that. But he was a little shit, and he wouldn't make this easy for me. So it was a surprise when I heard him chuckle, "Come on, Ally, you can do this."
Taking a deep breath, I nodded and faced the direction that I thought I heard his voice in. I concentrated, remembering what Damon said, before I pushed off. It took me a moment to realise that the trees were rushing past me a lot quicker than they were supposed to. I was doing it! Oh my god, I was actually using vampire speed!
I was so surprised that I skidded to a stop, glancing around before laughing, "Day! I did it! Oh my god, I actually did it!"
"Damn right you did, baby," Damon spoke from behind me. I spun around, a wide smile on my face as I bounced on my heels.
"I did a vampire thing properly, oh my god, that is amazing," I could barely control my giddiness. I knew that a part of this was my heightened emotions. But I was also just really happy that I had done something well. I was getting worried that I wouldn't manage as a vampire, that I would be a bad one. But I did something right.
"I never doubted you," Damon smiled back, one of his special smiles, and I couldn't help but laugh.
"That's cute, Day," I shook my head as I noticed his eyes shining in the moonlight. "I doubted myself." Moving slowly, trying to be subtle, I tensed my leg behind me, getting ready to push off. I hadn't forgotten his promise and I was determined to get my way.
Unfortunately, I wasn't as sly as I thought I was. With a devious wink, my boyfriend disappeared from view. I grumbled and rolled my eyes, "Not cool, Day!" before I listened intently. I tried to work out where the sound of super speed was coming from before I dashed in that direction. I had to admit, a part of me was scared of running into a tree. But it was something that I didn't need to worry about. My heightened vision meant that I could see everything clearly, even as I shot past it.
And so, that was how the next hour was spent. Each time I got close to Damon; he gave me a wink before disappearing. Sometimes, he let me get close enough to give me a kiss, but before I could grab him, he sped off. As annoying as it was, and I could feel my horniness growing, it was helping me learn how to control this new speed. By the time I tackled him to the ground, I was confident on how to push off and control it.
As I pinned Damon to the ground, I rolled my eyes and pouted, "You let me catch you."
Naturally, my boyfriend smirked before flipping us over, so that I was laying on the ground instead, "Maybe you were just too irresistible to be running away from."
His lips moved down my body, settling on my cleavage as I groaned, "Flattery won't always get you sex."
Of course, we both knew that I was lying. I would never deny him sex, especially since I enjoyed it too. And I could feel my body singing at the feel of his lips against my skin. The way his fingers stroked my core over my leggings. And I loved every second of it. It was even enough to make me forget my hunger as another need was satiated instead.
XXX
Unfortunately, we couldn't hide out in Alexandria forever. Even though I was still learning how to control my hunger, we knew that we had to return home. I couldn't hide from my family forever, I had to learn how to be around them like this. So we packed our bags and Damon drove us back home.
I sat with my legs stretched out across Damon's lap as he sped down the highway. His reckless driving was always amusing, especially since I knew how much he loved his car. But I knew that he was in complete control, even when I teased his crotch with my toes. The look that he gave me was hilarious. Because you just knew that he wanted more but he always didn't want to risk damaging his car. So I continued doing it, as revenge for all the times that he had teased me, gotten me panting, before leaving me in that state.
"Do you think that I'll be alright to go home?" I asked quietly, breaking the silence, after we had been on the road for a while. "That I won't be a risk to anyone?"
"Alexa, you'll be fine," my boyfriend gave my ankle a gentle squeeze. "I'll be with you as much as you need me. And if you get hungry at any point, then let me know. I'll make sure that there are blood bags around." He paused before adding, "I'll also compel some people so you can feed on them if you need to. As a last resort."
"Thanks Damon," I sighed, giving him a small smile. "I hate being hungry all the time. It sucks. And normal food is doing absolutely nothing to help with that."
The only plus side was that I could still eat normal food. I knew that all of the other vampires in my life could eat, I guess I was just worried that they ate it to be polite. But it still tasted the same, even if it wasn't as satisfying. At least it meant that I was still able to cook and bake, and do all the stuff that I used to enjoy doing. I would have hated it if it meant losing one of my favourite things to do.
"Well, I can't have you eating the townsfolk," Damon shot me a smirk, raising an eyebrow. "Because then who would I eat?"
"Oh ha ha," I rolled my eyes as I jabbed his thigh with my toe. "You're hilarious."
"I know," he gave me a smug look and I shook my head.
"Why do I put up with this?" I sighed dramatically, throwing my head back.
"Hmm, because you love me."
I paused before laughing, "Yeah, I do love you, even if you are a shithead at times."
Damon gave me a look, a teasing look in his eyes, as he stroked my ankle. I let out a hum at the feel of his skin against mine before frowning, "Ugh, I'm hungry again. I swear, I never used to be this hungry. Is this normal?"
I couldn't stop myself from grumbling as I shifted to get a bloodbag from the cooler on the backseat. I was just lucky that Damon had stocked up before we left town. Because I had gotten through a scary amount of them.
"You've been through a lot in a short amount of time," Damon pointed out gently as I pulled a face at the cold blood. "Even vampires stress eat."
"Well, I suppose I don't need to worry about calories now," I sighed. "How do you lot eat these cold? It's horrible. Like reheating roast potatoes, it just doesn't feel right."
My boyfriend laughed slightly, shaking his head, "They do take a bit of getting used to. But you can heat them up if you need too."
"I might just have to do that," I frowned before finishing off the bloodbag. We sat in silence for a while, just content to watch the scenery go by. But it got me thinking. These past couple of days had been amazing. Other than learning how to feed, I didn't need to worry about anything. I could just be myself and relax, and I didn't have to worry about trying to impress anyone or live up to anyone's standards. I didn't realise just how much I needed that until I had it. I couldn't keep in the sigh as I started out the window.
I could feel Damon glancing over, a small frown on his face, "What's wrong?"
I bit my lip before speaking slowly, "Do you ever feel like just leaving town? I mean, I'm not one to run away. But the thought of not going home, of just running away somewhere, being where no one knows me. It just feels really nice right now."
My boyfriend looked at me, an intense look in his eyes before he nodded, "You're worried about what the others will think of you."
I snorted and shrugged, "I mean, how can I not be? Jeremy didn't want a vampire for a sister. Bonnie practically rejected Caroline at first. Elena… I know that she never wanted met o turn. How can I go back to that? Especially since I don't have this feeding thing on point. It just feels… I dunno, like they won't accept me."
Which was ridiculous. This was my choice; I shouldn't be second guessing it. But I knew the transition had heightened my annoying habit of overthinking. And my usual ways of stopping it weren't doing anything to help.
"Well, if you ever need to get away for a long weekend… or for a year… then just let me know," Damon offered gently, resting his hand back on my ankle, stroking the bare skin that he found there. "I'll get you away from Mystic Falls if you ever need me to."
"I thought you would," I couldn't stop a small smile from forming. "I mean, what's the point of finishing high school now? Not like I'm going to go to college. And even if I did, I could compel my way into it." I paused before sighing, "Damn, I really need to not focus on that. Otherwise I really would ditch school."
XXX
When we got back to Mystic Falls, the first thing that we did was head to the Grill. I wasn't really in the mood to head back to the Boarding House, where Mr and Mrs Judgy were probably hanging out. I knew that they still didn't approve of me feeding on people, but they had to get over it. Not that I was ready to tell them that to their faces, so I just went and decided to drink the Grill dry. Now that I was a vampire, and that was still a weird thought, I was able to drink a lot more before it started to affect me. And besides, it helped with the cravings. Which I definitely needed.
So we sat at the bar, a bottle of whiskey in front of us. Damon had compelled the bartender to serve me, promising me that he would teach me compulsion later. I didn't mind too much, all I wanted was to have a drink. And for once, booze wasn't the drink that I was craving.
I sighed around my bourbon, my leg bouncing as I tried not to stare at the bartender's neck. Despite the fact that I had drained a couple of bloodbags, I was still hungry. Not to the point where I would attack someone, but I was still hungry enough where I couldn't stop thinking about it. With a frustrated groan, I downed my glass before filling it up again, and drinking half of that.
I could feel Damon's worried eyes on me, but before he could say something, we were interrupted. Sheriff Forbes had decided to interrupt our day drinking. She had a frustrated look on her face, a newspaper in hand, as she went to sit in the chair on Damon's other side.
I winced as my boyfriend shook his head, "That seat's taken."
The Sheriff paused for a moment, probably realising why it was deemed as taken, before throwing down the newspaper in front of my vampire. I leant over to read the headline while she moved around to stand next to me. I knew that she had seen the glass in front of me, but since she didn't say anything, I guessed that someone had updated the Sheriff about my new status.
"'Fault gas line leads to tragic explosion at Younger farm'?" I frowned as I read it. I took the newspaper and started the article. It was full of bullshit, but I figured that there would some truthful elements there.
"Really?" Damon scoffed, turning to face Sheriff Forbes, resting a hand on my back. He didn't sound too surprised so I guessed that he knew something about this. I, of course, had been too distracted to care about the goings-on around town.
The Sheriff kept her voice low as she countered, "Better than 'Town Council blown up. Police have no suspects.' Unless the perpetrator is right next to me."
The Sheriff looked at Damon. Damon looked back, taking a swig of his drink. Of course, her words had me gasping, drawing both of their attention, "Omg, someone killed the town council? Damn, that's fucked up." Of course, I was nice enough not to say that it quite beneficial for us. Since only the Sheriff and Mayor Lockwood knew the secret again.
"You didn't know?" Sheriff Forbes frowned at me and I shrugged.
"I've been out of town," I dropped the newspaper onto the bar. "And distracted."
The Sheriff nodded before returning her gaze to Damon. I knew that she probably had more questions for me, but she was in police mode and wanted answers. Answers that she thought my boyfriend had. Unfortunately for her, he was actually innocent.
"Well, don't look at me," Damon shrugged casually, kindly topping up my drink. "I always take credit for killing people." I nodded at his words. That was true. He always took credit if he actually did the deed. It was one of the things that I admired about him. Unfortunately, the Sheriff didn't quite believe his words as she kept staring at him. My boyfriend rolled his eyes, putting his drink down. "Seriously, stop looking at me like that, Liz. If I was going to kill twelve people, I wouldn't blow them up, I'd have a dinner party." I couldn't stop the snort of laughter at his words and got a scolding look from Caroline's mom. "But, since I've been out of town, I can't even pretend to know what happened."
The Sheriff sighed, finally accepting his words, and shook her head, "The explosion was sparked from inside. This wasn't an accident."
I was quite content to watch the adults talk, but my attention was distracted by someone entering. I didn't recognise them, but they gave me some seriously bad vibes. Even if he was kinda good looking, his black skin and bald head actually working together for a objectively handsome combination. I frowned, ignoring Damon's, "You say that like it's a bad thing." When Mr New Guy looked over at us, I quickly looked away, trying to act innocent. Not that it worked very well, as I sensed him slowly make his way over to us. "The Council's dead, Liz. I see that as a win."
Sheriff Forbes felt differently, as she snapped, "I've known some of the Council since I was a kid. They were my friends."
"Well, they couldn't have been very good friends," I shrugged, internally wincing at the look that I got from the Sheriff. "I mean, they were gonna kill Caroline."
I was saved from a scolding by Damon frowning, "Who's the new guy?"
Before anyone could answer, the new guy reached us, looking at Sheriff Forbes, "Excuse me, Sheriff. Hi, um, I was wondering if I could speak to you for a minute about the explosion at the Young farm."
The Sheriff looked a bit wary as she frowned, "I'm sorry, Mr…?"
New guy quickly gave his name, "Oh, Connor Jordan." He held out his hand and Sheriff Forbes shook it. I noticed the leather glove on his hand and wondered if he was a secret badass. Only badass' wore gloves like that. And the name itself niggled at me. I felt like I should recognise it. And it was really bugging me.
"Are you with the insurance investigators?" Sheriff Forbes asked the Connor guy. I glanced over at my boyfriend, who gave a gentle shrug as he carefully watched the interaction.
"No, no, I'm more of an independent contractor," Connor replied, trying for an easy smile but I didn't believe it. Not for a second. He just rubbed me the wrong way and I couldn't quite work out why. Sensing that he had an audience, Connor glanced over at me and Damon before asking, "Can we speak in private?"
The Sheriff looked at Damon before nodding, "Sure."
"Thanks," the new guy gave a strained smile before walking away. I watched him go with narrowed eyes. He was definitely bad news. I just hoped that it wasn't supernatural related bad news.
Sheriff Forbes and Damon exchanged eye contract before she left to go see what Connor wanted. I sighed and glanced to the side when my boyfriend muttered, "Nice to meet you too, Mr Busybody Guy."
XXX
Because the world hated us, it didn't take long for someone else to interrupt us. Unfortunately, this person was someone that I had wanted to avoid for a bit longer yet. I winced as Elena appeared on the other side of Damon. I downed my drink, keeping my attention on refilling my glass, and not on my twin sister.
"Did you do it?" she immediately demanded of my boyfriend as she began to sit down on the empty stool.
Damon immediately stopped her, giving her a sharp look as he said, "That seat's taken."
Ellie frowned, glancing around and down at the seat, "But there's no one here."
I sighed and winced at my boyfriend's next words, "Well, I'm just going to pretend like there's someone there, because the alternative is just too damn depressing."
I knew that he had focused all of his attention on helping me through my transition, and not on grieving Ric. But I couldn't blame him for that. Ric's death hit harder than most. Because it wasn't our Ric, it was Evil Alaric, using his body and voice. We had mourned our Ric, we had said goodbye to him. And then we had failed to save him from his evil self. It was a shitty situation and one that I was more than happy to run away from for as long as possible.
My sister paused, a sympathetic look on her face before moving around to sit next to me. I couldn't take my eyes off of the smooth skin of her wrists as she rested her hand on mine, looking at Damon and repeating her question, "Did you set off the explosion that killed the Town Council?"
Damon glanced over at me, a disgruntled expression on his face as he grumbled, "Am I wearing my 'I Blew Up the Council' t-shirt? Why does everybody keep asking me that?"
"Cos you've got a rep that you've been carefully cultivating?" I shrugged innocently, giggling at the look that he gave me. "At least I didn't ask it."
"I do appreciate that," my boyfriend gave me that soft look, the one that he gave in front of others, before resting his hand on my thigh. Unfortunately, the moment was interrupted by my sister.
"Well, did you?" she pushed, a determined look on her face.
I rolled my eyes and looked over at her, "Elena, he's been with me, like, the whole time since I turned. Of course he didn't."
Ellie didn't look satisfied, but she sighed and nodded before asking, "How did your training go?"
I winced and cleared my throat, "Well, it was a positive start. I just have a lot to learn."
My twin frowned, a look of deep concentration on her face before she gasped slightly, "Alexa, are you hungry right now?"
It wasn't until I heard her words that I realised that my fist was clenched under hers, that I was constantly looking down at her neck. And the look of slight fear in her eyes just about broke my heart. I had to look away as I took a deep breath, ignoring everything that I scented, "Uh, just a little bit. Crowds are hard, right now. But I'm fine."
Elena didn't look convinced but she let it go, glancing at my vampire behind me, "Maybe you shouldn't have brought her here. She's not safe around people right now."
Um, ouch? I couldn't hide my wince and I just knew that Damon had picked up on that, as he narrowed his eyes at my sister. He gently grasped my chin, turning me to face him but he kept his eyes on Elena as he spoke, "Pick your next meal, Alexa. You've got Asian fusion. Mexican. What about some good old American comfort food?"
I followed his finger each time he pointed at someone. And I just wanted to eat them all. Which scared the shit out of me. My hunger was out of control, and I really was scared that I would hurt someone. I knew that Damon wouldn't let me, but it was still scary.
Of course, before I could say anything, my sister interrupted, her eyes narrowed, "Damon, don't be ridiculous. She can't feed from someone. She'll hurt them."
"Fine," he snapped back at her, getting off his stool and gently encouraging me off of mine. "Then I know the solution."
He whisked me away before my sister could ask anymore questions. I could tell that she wanted to follow, but Damon moved too fast for her. He took me into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. I just crossed my arms and raised an eyebrow, feeling a bit better now that I wasn't surrounded by beating hearts, "Are you planning on just hiding from her? Cos trust me when I say that that really doesn't work for long."
Damon rolled his eyes at me before tugging me closer, "I don't need to hide from Elena Gilbert. But she was right about one thing. You're hungry, Alexa. And I promised to help you with that."
"Uh, I'm not sure how you can do that from a locked bathroom," I frowned, glancing him up and down. "Unless you keep a bloodbag hidden in your jacket. Which just feels a bit risky."
My boyfriend gave me a look and I bit my lip to hide a smile, "Of course I don't do that." He let his face change, before biting his hand. The smell of his blood instantly had my attention. "But this should do the trick. Just don't tell anyone."
"Hm, why's that?" I barely managed to ask, slowly moving closer to the blood pooling in his hand. I could barely concentrate on his words. Even though it wasn't human blood, the smell was intoxicating.
"Because blood sharing is kind of personal and Stefan has a stick up his ass the size of an oak tree," Damon snorted, shaking his head. "He wouldn't understand. And neither would anyone else."
"My lips are sealed," I murmured before my self-control abandoned me. I grabbed onto Damon's hand, brining it up to my mouth. I practically inhaled his blood before sinking my fangs into his hand. He pulled me close as I drank from him, my eyes fluttering closed at the taste of his blood. It tasted crazy good. Like, it was intoxicating and addictive and just so so good. I didn't want to stop. And apparently, I wasn't the only one.
My boyfriend tangled his fingers in my hair, keeping his hand at my mouth. He let out a low growl as he fell back into the wall of the bathroom stall, holding me close. I could feel his erection pressing against my thigh through his jeans, and I felt my body grow hot.
Once I had drank my fill, I released his hand, licking my lips. I didn't know what I looked like, but Damon let out a groan. He spun us around, so that I was facing the wooden stall. Rough hands pushed my panties down my legs and I was just about aware enough to kick them off, uncaring of where they went. Damon's blood had affected me as much as it had affected him. I felt it pulsing around my body, amplifying the arousal that I could feel before.
I heard the sound of a zip before the tip of Damon's cock was pressing against my entrance. I shifted my hips, thankful for the height that my wedges gave me, and bit my lip to hide a groan as I felt him enter me.
Taking the hint, his hips snapped forward, buying himself in me to the hilt. I did a very poor job of hiding my moan at that and I just knew anyone outside the door could hear me. But I just didn't give a fuck. Damon set a brutal pace, brushing against that sensitive spot inside me. His hands gripped my hips with a strength that would have given me bruises if I was still human. I let him thrust without care, too caught up in the pleasure of it all. I just clung onto the wood of the stall wall, not even realising that I was causing cracks in the wood with my new strength.
I could feel Damon getting close, his short and sharp thrusts driving me close to the edge. But I couldn't quite articulate what I needed to drop over. I was kept there, letting out pitiful whines, my head thrown back, resting on Damon's shoulder. But luckily, he knew what we both needed. I felt his fangs scrap against my neck, the sharp pain sending a jolt of arousal through my body.
I whispered out his name, begging for it, and he didn't disappoint. His fangs sank into my neck and he let out a low groan before he came. I immediately followed, the sharp pain followed by the tug on my skin as he fed from me, feeling incredibly amazing, more than I expected, sending me over the edge.
We both rested against the wood of the stall, Damon resting his weight against me and I let out a hum, "If I knew how good that felt, then I would have gotten you to do that before."
XXX
Elena had volunteered me to help out with setting up the memorial for the Council. I didn't really want to help, but if it meant that she wouldn't lecture me about keeping my humanity, then I would do anything. So I made a good show about laying out pamphlets on the benches, while I just added them to Matt's pile when my sister wasn't looking. He knew what I was doing, but the cutie played along, keeping me out of trouble.
As I lurked near him, hiding from my sister, Matt asked, "How are you feeling?"
I knew that he felt guilty. Elena had insisted that Stefan save me and Elena, even though her death led to my own. But I knew that he felt as though it was his fault for not paying attention to the road, for letting Rebekah force him into a crash. And no matter how many times I texted him, telling him that it was bullshit thinking, he was still convinced that he had to do something to make it up to us.
"Uh, hungry?" I tried to laugh it off, but the knowing look in my friend's eyes had me glancing away. "Seriously, I'm fine. It's taking a bit more time than I originally anticipated to deal with this, but I'm getting there. Ironically, Elena is being the emotional one." I put on a high-pitched, mocking voice, "I can't believe they're dead, it's so sad. The sight of all these names makes me want to cry." I snorted and rolled my eyes, "Of course, let's ignore the fact that they would have killed me and most of our friends."
Matt ignored my bitter words and reached out to rest a hand on my shoulder, "You didn't have to volunteer."
"Elena didn't really give me much of a choice," I muttered bitterly as my sister walked up behind me. I could hear her coming now. I could sense the warmth of her human body, the way that her heart pumped warm blood around her body. The scent of her humanity. It was painful but heart-warming. Even though I was bitter that she got to find a magical cure to this, I couldn't be too mad at her. We both got we wanted. She got to be human and I got to be a vampire.
"People died," my twin sighed, glancing between us before looking down at the pamphlet in her hand. "People we've know our whole lives. We did need to volunteer." She glanced behind us, a small frown forming on her face. "Is that…?"
She trailed off as Matt nodded, "April Young? Yeah."
"Oh dang, she grew up pretty," I nodded, an impressed edge to my tone as I tried to ignore why she was here. The girl had been in boarding school for the past couple of years, ever since puberty hit. Her dad had sent her to an all-girls school as he didn't want her to get 'corrupted'. In my not so humble opinion, it was bullshit. But as her dad, it was his choice. Even if it was a shitty one.
"Oh wow," Elena breathed out before approaching the younger girl. I didn't follow, instead deciding to hang with Matt a bit longer.
"This must be opening up a lot of old wounds for you," the blue-eyed darling spoke quietly, taking me over to a bench. He sat down next to me, a sympathetic look in his eyes.
I sighed and shrugged, "Dealing with dead parents is something that I'm a bit of a pro at." I winced and added, "As bad as that sounds. I mean, if I wasn't dealing with the transition then I would probably be a bit more of a mess. But right now, my hunger is outweighing my grief."
"Is it really that bad?" Mattie frowned, glancing around to make sure that no one was near us.
"It's so much worse than I thought it would be," I admitted, voicing my fears without even realising. It wasn't my fault. Matt was just so easy to talk to. "I mean, I knew that it would be bad. But I didn't think that I would be constantly hungry like this. It's even worrying Damon, even if he won't admit it. I shouldn't be this hungry all the time. But I am." I glanced around before leaning in and whispering, "I'm really scared that I might secretly be a ripper like Stefan. Damon hasn't let me get that far, but what if it is lurking beneath the surface?"
My friend's expression was soft as he reached out to rest a hand on my knee, "Alexa, I'm sure that you're doing better than you think you are. You're strong, stronger than you realise. You've got this."
I had to blink back tears, fuck you heightened emotions, and gave Mattie a wobbly smile, "You're so sweet to say that. I've been so worried to admit that to anyone. I know what people think about me transitioning. Especially since Elena got cured of hers."
"Well, no matter what people say, I've got your back," Matt gave me a smile and I smile back, leaning forward to kiss his cheek.
"You're the best, Mattie," I beamed before I realised what I had done. Now that I was aware of my surroundings, all I could smell was his blood. "Now, if you can please excuse me, I need to go run away and find something to eat. Especially since I will be in this room, filled with people. Yikes, self-control was never my strength, now I need to rely on it."
Mattie interrupted my rambling with a soft laugh, "Go get what you need, Lexa. I'll finish setting up."
"Thanks Matt," I smiled at him before running away. Holy shit, I needed to be careful about my human loved ones. I definitely needed to learn control sooner rather than later. Because I didn't want to hurt them. Like at all. I had to protect my loved ones, especially now that I was strong enough to do so. I just couldn't risk becoming the threat to them.
XXX
Since I had realised that I needed to do something to satisfy my hunger before the memorial service, I grabbed one of the bloodbags that Damon had given me. I slipped out back, hiding behind the church as I started to drink. It was the same every time, the second I tasted human blood, I just couldn't stop. Not without help. Unfortunately, I didn't get the help that I normally got.
Instead, I got my sister.
She must have followed me out. She had a shocked expression on her face before she grabbed the bloodbag from my hands. But I was still holding onto it tightly, shocked that she had seen me like this. Despite everything, I had wanted to protect her from my vampire side. Including my new vampire face. I didn't want her to see me like this, because I didn't know how she would react. And I didn't want to be rejected by her. I honestly didn't know if I would survive that.
The bloodbag, caught between the twins, didn't survive the tugging that it was put through. My nails must have been digging into it as it soon exploded all over me, covering my light blue dress in deep red liquid. I stared down at the blood in shock, still unable to realise what was happening. All I could concentrate on was the smell of the blood. It was overwhelming. Especially since it was covering me. I couldn't get away from it, it was there, taunting me, begging me to consume it.
With a muttered curse, Elena grabbed my arm. She directed me to the back staircase, taking me down to the basement. And the toilet that was down there. She shoved me in, glancing around before following me in. Ellie grabbed some paper towel before shoving it at me, a frustrated look on her face.
I met her gaze, holding it, despite the worry digging through my tummy, and drabbed the tissue against my dress. It did absolutely nothing, other than soaking the tissue in blood. But I felt like I couldn't back down. I needed to be strong, here, I couldn't let my sister get into my head. Despite encouraging me to complete the transition, I knew that she was regretting everything. Yeah, it meant that I didn't die. But I was also a vampire now. And I knew that she never wanted that for me, even though I wanted it. If my sister had her way, Bonnie would find a way to cure me of this. Despite my wishes.
Eventually, unable to deal with the silence, my sister hissed, "Alexa! What were you doing?!"
"I was satiating my hunger," I rolled my eyes, feeling dangerously reckless. I didn't want my twin to be mad at me, to be disappointed. But I also couldn't hide this truth from her. I needed to feed, even if it meant drinking human blood. She would just have to deal with it. Or pretend that it wasn't happening. I would take denial if it meant that she didn't look at me like that. "Just like you were, when you were eating that protein bar earlier."
"That's different, that's normal," Elena argued, crossing her arms tightly across her chest. I could tell that there was something off with her, but the sharp pain that speared my head distracted me. I knew that she wouldn't tell me what was wrong, so I tried to work out why I was getting hunger pains. Because they had to be hunger pains. Right? I was sure that vampires didn't get headaches.
"This is my normal now, Els," I implored her, dabbing away at the blood on my dress, even though it was doing absolutely nothing. "It's a lot to get used to, I know. But you kinda have to."
"I don't know if I want to," my twin mumbled, and it was only because of my enhanced hearing that I picked it up. She sighed and shook her head, pulling out her phone. "I'll call Damon and get him to bring you a new dress. Just try not to drip too much blood onto the floor."
I winced and glanced down. While it wasn't as bad as it could have been, it was still obvious that someone had been covered in blood. So with a roll of the eyes, I pulled off my dress. I didn't mind being in just my undies around my sister. Even though she spun around, facing the door and refusing to look at me. I gingerly turned the dress inside out and rested it in the sink. Well, that dress was officially ruined. But I couldn't bin it here. Because god knows who would find it and make all sorts of assumptions.
I grabbed some toilet roll and started wiping the floor while I heard Elena on the phone to Damon. She remained light on the details while demanding that he find me a new dress. I could hear him asking what happened but I think that my sister was ashamed of her reaction. Or at least, that was what I hoped. She just made a vague comment about something being spilled on it and it wouldn't come out. We both knew that I would inevitably tell my boyfriend the whole story later, but for now, he would only get the crumbs that my twin offered.
I heard Damon agree to get me a dress before ending the call. I sighed and kept my gaze on the floor, while my twin kept hers on the door. It had been a long time since things were this awkward between us. But I also knew that neither of us had truly acknowledged the change in our relationship. I was a vampire. She was human. It was a huge thing to get your mind around. And it would need more time that we had given it. Especially since I had been out of town.
But I didn't know how much time my sister would need to deal with this.
XXX
Luckily, my boyfriend knew when to ride to the rescue. Once he had grabbed a dress from my bedroom, which was a lot closer than the ones in his closet, he quickly made his way to the church. He had called me, probably keen to reassure me that he was on the way. I appreciated that. Like a lot. It felt incredibly awkward, just standing there in my undies, even if my twin refused to look at me. But I also knew that I couldn't hide in here forever.
"Day, please tell me that you're close by," I muttered down the phone, sitting on the closed toilet seat. The floor was cleaned of the drops of blood. I needed to do the sink too, but until I managed to get rid of my stained dress, I couldn't. But there was something worse. The smell of the blood lingered in the room. And it made me so hungry. Hungry to the point where I was legitimately scared for the safety of my twin.
I had tried telling her to leave, that Damon would look after me when he got here. But she refused to leave me to deal with this by myself. I wanted to tell her that I was scared that I would attack her, that I would feed from her. But I couldn't bare the thought of seeing fear in her eyes, fear that was caused by me. So I sat with my fist clenched, knuckles digging into my leg as I tried not to look at her.
"I'm here, Alexa, I'm here," Damon reassured me down the phone and I could hear his footsteps moving quickly along the path. "Where are you?"
"Basement bathroom," I mumbled, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. "It's the only one. Can't miss it, not really." My mumbling was interrupted by the doorknob rattling. I was lucky that it was locked, otherwise I would have to try and compel someone for the first time. But the noise had me opening my eyes, exchanging a wide-eyed look with my twin as I whispered, "Damon, is that you?"
"Not yet," my boyfriend and I muttered a curse. "I'm close. Try to stall them."
"Sounds good," I nodded sharply, digging my nails into my thigh as I tried not to panic. I had been a vampire for, like, a couple of days and I was already getting in trouble. Maybe my vampire was right when he called me a danger magnet. "It's occupied!"
"Sorry, we're in here, we won't be long!" my sister added before glancing over at me. "Tell Damon to hurry up."
"I'm hurrying, Ally, I've just entered the church, be there in a few," Damon said without me needing to repeat my twin's words. I acknowledged his words before we ended the call. I switched my gaze to the door, silently begging for Damon to be outside of it right that second. Luckily, fate was kind to me. It took barely a few seconds for me to hear his voice through the door, "You again. Stalking small town funerals?"
I sighed in relief, hunching over to rest my head in my hands as Elena opened the door. She made sure to only open it enough for the dress bag to be passed through. She accepted the dress and rolled her eyes, "It's about time that you got here." She paused then before leaning her head around the doorframe a bit more. "I'm sorry. My sister spilt coffee all over her dress. Give her a moment to get changed and it's all yours."
Elena and Damon exchanged a glance before she shut the door. With a determined nod, she hung the dress bag on the back of the door before turning to me, "Come on Lexa, let's get you changed. Put this on and I'll grab the dirty tissues."
"Thanks Ellie," I muttered, rubbing my temples before standing up. I unzipped the bag to see a basic black dress. It was one of the spare ones that lurked at the back of my closet, rarely worn but kept just in case. I slipped it on as I listened to the conversation outside the door.
"We have not met," a familiar voice spoke and I just couldn't work out where I knew it from. Not until his next works. "I'm Connor. Jordan."
"Damon. Germaphobe," I could practically sense the distasteful look on my boyfriend's face. He didn't like the vibes that this Connor dude gave him at the Grill. So seeing him here was just setting off alarm bells. He had no reason to be here, he didn't know any of the Council. So it was incredibly suspicious. "Everything okay in there, girls?"
"Peachy!" I called back, shoving my stained dress in the dress bag. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see my sister shoving the bloody tissues in her bag. There wasn't a lot of them, thank god, but it was too risky to leave them.
"So, what brings you to Mystic Falls?" Damon asked Connor, buying us time to wipe down the sink. "Bible salesman?"
Connor laughed, which surprised me as he looked so serious before, like he was incapable of laughing, "No, actually, I'm in environmental clean-up."
"Oh," my boyfriend sounded like he couldn't care less.
"Heard you had a bit of a pollution problem," there was something about the stranger's words that had a shiver running down my spine. But it was probably just the situation. And the hunger that I felt clawing at my stomach.
"Huh, well, I was unaware," Damon countered, probably smirking. I just focused on getting rid of the blood in the sink while Elena sprayed some perfume, hiding the irony smell of the blood. "I breathe pretty easy."
Content that everything was as clean as possible, I exchanged a nod with my twin before grabbing the dress bag and opening the door. The first thing that I saw was Damon. He glanced me up and down before beckoning me closer to him. I didn't need much more encouragement. I tucked myself against his side as I glanced over at Connor. I didn't like the look in his eyes as he stared at me, but I forced a smile, "Sorry. I didn't mean to take so long."
"No problem," he smiled slightly, an unnerving look in his eyes as he glanced over at my sister as she edged herself in front of me slightly.
"Well, enjoy your stay," my boyfriend smirked, drawing everyone's attention. "We love visitors and the scenery is to die for." I couldn't stop myself from snorting as he let out a dramatic gasp and covered his mouth with his hand. "Funeral pun. Too soon. Sorry."
"I can't take you anywhere," I giggled as he wrapped an arm around my waist, leading us from the room and away from creepy Connor.
XXX
"What happened?" Damon asked as he directed us over to his car. I dumped the dress bag in the boot as I grabbed a blood bag from the cooler. I glanced around before dodging over to a nearby tree. My boyfriend stood in front of me, Elena to the side, as I opened it.
"Elena killed my bloodbag," I muttered before gulping down the blood. The smell of the blood down in the bathroom, it practically suffocated me. It had gnawed at my stomach, infected my mind. I had barely been able to concentrate on anything else. And I knew that I needed to properly feed before I went into the church. The memorial service would be hard enough as it was, but going through it with an empty stomach would have dangerous.
I could see the glance that the other two exchanged. It wasn't a pleasant one. I knew that they didn't agree on how I should be dealing with this. But I think that they both agreed on the fact that my hunger was insatiable. And it needed to be dealt with carefully.
But before angry words could be exchanged, my sister sighed, "I'm going to head inside the church. Alexa, come find me when you're done."
I nodded, all of my focus on the bag in my hands. I was gripping it tightly as I drained all that I could of it. But it still didn't feel like enough. Not after being trapped in that small room, being haunted by blood that I couldn't drink.
"You feeling better?" Damon asked softly, gently stroking my cheek as I finished the bloodbag. I dropped the empty packet into my bag as I sighed, hunching forward so that I was resting against my boyfriend's chest.
"Well, I no longer feel like draining someone dry," I sighed, curling my fingers into his jacket. "But I'm still hungry. And… it scares me."
"You'll be fine," he held me close, resting his chin on the top of my head. "You don't have to go to the service if you don't feel up to it."
"It'll be obvious if I don't go," I grumbled, focusing on the comforting scent that surrounded me. "And the last thing that I need is people asking questions." I paused for a moment before asking, my voice small, "Damon, why am I so hungry all the time?"
Damon hesitated for a moment before tilting my head back, cupping my cheeks, "It's natural, baby. We just haven't found the right feeding pattern for you. It'll get easier, I promise."
"Feeding pattern?" I scrunched up my nose at his words. "Like a baby?"
My boyfriend smirked, but there was a gentle look in his eyes as he tapped my nose, "Well, you are a baby vampire."
I rolled my eyes, "Oh ha ha." I glanced at the church behind me and sighed, "I'd best go in before I change my mind. Or before Elena comes and hunts me down. That would not be fun. Not with the mood that she was in."
"I'll be there in just a moment," Damon nodded and I gave him a small smile before reluctantly stepping out of his arms. With a sigh, I turned and slowly made my way up to the church.
But just as I was entering, I heard someone demand, "What's in the bag, Damon?"
At the sound of Stefan's voice, I paused just inside the doorway, hiding behind the door as I listened in to the brother's conversation with my new super hearing. I knew that it was bad to be eavesdropping like this. But I knew that my transition had shaken the brother's relationship. Because I knew that they both disagreed on the best way to help me. I just hoped that they got over it soon. Because I did not want to be the reason why they were fighting. I didn't want to be like Katherine.
"Mid-service snack," my vampire deflected and I shook my head at him. "Church always gets me hungry. The whole blood of Christ thing, you know." I could practically sense Stefan's glare and my boyfriend's eyeroll. "I brought it for Alexa."
"Are you crazy? She can't drink that here," Stefan snapped at his brother. "It'll just make her crave more. And since she's about to be sitting in a room full of people, it's dangerous."
"It's not as dangerous as her sitting in there, absolutely starving," Damon snapped back, stepping close to the younger vampire.
"If she hurts someone, she'll be desperate to turn the guilt off," Stefan narrowed his eyes and I sighed. "Maybe even desperate enough to shut off her humanity."
I knew that he had a point, even if I didn't want to admit it. But I swore that I wouldn't turn off my humanity, not over hurting someone. I knew that Damon would help me through it, if it happened. I wouldn't be alone in it. And I was used to dealing with guilt. Far too used to it.
"What? And become a ripper?" Damon scoffed, shaking his head. "Not everyone is uncapable of controlling their hunger, like you."
"I can't let her be anything like me," the younger vampire's voice turned soft. "She deserves better than that."
"Well, god forbid, she's anything like me," I could hear the hurt in Damon's voice and it broke my heart. He should never sound like that. I made a mental note to tell him that turning out like him was not a bad thing. He was able to control his vampire side and that was essential. "That's really what you're thinking. She's gonna go off the rails eventually, Stefan. But if I can get her to trust her instincts, to believe in her ability to control this, then I'll be able to get her through it."
"She's strong," Stefan argued and I gave out a few awkward smiles as I received from weird looks. I knew how it must look, the way that I was just standing by the door, looking awkward and out of place. "Stronger than she realises. If we help her, then she can survive this, without hurting anyone."
Damon shook his head sharply, lowering his voice, "She's starving, Stefan! Her hunger is insatiable, almost as large as yours. She needs to be constantly feeding, otherwise she'll never be able to control it."
Stefan frowned, sounding shocked, "What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about the fact that as a blood addict, you should respect the fact that she needs to learn control, even if it means someone getting hurt," my boyfriend stepped away. "And she can't feed from me all the time."
"She drank from you?" uh oh, that was not a nice tone from Stefan. Talk about judgy and disappointed.
"Oops," Damon snarked, turning and walking away. "I said that out loud?"
XXX
I quickly ran away from the doorway, not wanting either of the brothers to realise that I had been listening in to their conversation. I made my way into the main room of the church, looking for anyone that I recognise. It didn't take long.
Elena was looking my way and gestured for me to come over. I nodded and joined her pew. Matt, Jeremy and Jenna were sitting with her. I nodded my hello as I ideally rubbed at my gums. My sister ushered me to sit between her and Matt. Jenna was on his other side, protectively sandwiched between him and Jeremy. I gave her a soft smile, getting one in reply. I knew that my aunt hadn't been dealing with her grief very well, especially since she was having to cope with my change too. But I messaged her when I could, letting her know that I was doing okay. Even if it wasn't completely true. But I refused to tell her about my hunger, she deserved to be protected from that.
"Are you okay?" Ellie asked, a small frown on her face as she moved some hair away from my face.
I gave her a strained smile and nodded, "Just a bit hungry still."
"Are you going to be okay in here?" my sister asked and I patted her knee.
"I'll be fine, but don't yell at me if I look for distractions during the service," I sighed. Elena gave me a sympathetic smile, resting her hand on mine.
"I'll even give you my phone if yours runs out of battery," she promised me gently before glancing around. "Have you seen April, by the way? She asked for help with her speech but I haven't seen her in a while."
"Uh, no, I can't say that I have seen her," I frowned, glancing around. "Maybe she went to go pee and decided to down a bottle of vodka."
"Lexa, not everyone deals with grief and public speaking like that," my sister rolled her eyes at me as Mrs Lockwood approached the podium.
"It's a good way of dealing with it," I muttered just before the mayor started the service.
"Before we begin the Mass," Mrs Lockwood began, her voice strong as it was magnified around the room. "We'd like to open the floor to anyone who would like to share a memory about our late friends on the Town Council. I know that April Young wanted to say a few words about her dad. April?" She glanced around the crowd, looking for the girl before repeating, "April, are you still here, honey?" When April failed to appear, the mayor sighed, "Is there anyone else who would like to share a recollection or a memory about Pastor Young?"
For a moment, there was complete silence. No one wanted to say anything nice about the man who got the Council killed. And all of us had been raised in the vein of if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything. But it felt wrong for no one to speak. Pastor Young had been a pillar of the community for years. He deserved to have something nice said about him.
Apparently my twin felt the same as she sighed and stood up. I frowned up at her, "Ellie?" but she gave me a small smile, giving my shoulder a squeeze before she approached the front of the church.
Mrs Lockwood gave her a grateful smile as she gestured for her to take her place at the podium, "Come on up, Elena."
I watched through worried eyes as Elena took a deep breath as she stood at the podium. It was only the sound of doors behind me that had me glancing back. Damon entered the room, dipping his hand in the holy water bowl as he passed it. His gaze met mine and he gave me a gentle nod. I nodded back before turning around again, wanting to check in on my sister. So I missed him touch his forehead, chest and shoulders. The little shit was doing the symbol of the cross.
"Don't know why that always makes me smile," he muttered to himself and I rolled my eyes, making a note to find out what he had been up to later. I tapped my fingers against my knee, as I tried to focus on my sister. But I could feel my hunger rising again, not at all helped by all the warm bodies that were surrounding me.
"I… uh… when I talked to April earlier, she was kind of nervous about coming up to speak," Elena started, glancing around the room before settling her gaze on me. "And now that I'm up here, I'm kind of nervous too." She gave a weak smile before taking a deep breath. "The worst day of loving someone is the day that you lose them. That day, when you realise all of the things that they will miss."
Unfortunately, that was the last that I heard of my sister's speech. Because something else caught my attention. And it was not good.
Blood.
I could smell blood. I could hear it dripping somewhere behind me. It consumed my thoughts as I froze in my seat. I clenched the wood beneath me as I scrunched my eyes shut.
"Do you smell that?" I heard Caroline murmur, only my sharp vampire hearing able to pick it up.
"Blood," Tyler replied, his voice worried as I felt my fangs press against my gums, desperate to come out.
"Nobody move," Damon ordered all of us supernatural beings in the room. His voice stern and I instantly concentrated on it, drawing all the comfort that I could from the sound of it. "Don't turn around, it's a trap."
But despite my best efforts, all I could focus on was the dripping of the blood. It felt like it echoed around the room, consuming all sane thought. I was barely aware of the whimpers that left my mouth until a gentle voice murmured my name.
"Damon," I whispered, as a warm body sat down next to me. "Help me."
A familiar scent surrounded me as Elena tugged me close to her body. Despite my fears about hurting her, I couldn't stop myself from curling up into her side. Even as we were beckoned to our feet, to sing from the hymn book, I clung onto my twin, desperate for her comfort.
"There's so much blood. I can smell it. Oh god, it's all that I can smell. It won't go away, someone make it go away," I didn't realise I was muttering until my sister shushed me.
"It's okay, Lexa," Ellie murmured into my hair, gently stroking my arm. "Just focus on my voice. Forget about the blood. It doesn't control you. You're stronger than that."
"I don't know if I am," I admitted against my will. I didn't want to admit my weakness, but I was scared of acting strong. I didn't want to give up the comfort that I was being given.
"What's wrong?" Matt asked as he shuffled closer to us. He rested a hand on my shoulder as I heard my boyfriend cursing behind me. It was clear that he wasn't happy at being stuck so far away from me, unable to help.
"She's hungry," Ellie replied softly, her voice disguised by the singing around us. "And someone's bleeding. From what I can tell, there is a lot of blood."
"So, get her out of here," our friend suggested, gently rubbing my back as I muttered about the blood.
At his words, I shook his head, echoing what Stefan said behind us, "Can't. Someone's watching. Too dangerous to leave. Might hurt me. Or you. Or Elena. Or Jeremy. Or anyone."
I think that was the last straw for Damon, as he growled out, "I'm gonna go rip his head off now."
"You do that, Damon, and you risk exposing all of us," Stefan immediately scolded his brother and I could practically sense them glaring at each other.
"I can't hold on," I whimpered into my sister's shoulder, probably not helping the situation at all. But I couldn't stop the words from coming out. It was like the smell of the blood had eaten away all of my control, even my control over my mouth.
"You have ten seconds before I go old fashioned on the new guy," my boyfriend threatened, getting ready to get up.
The younger brother rested a hand on his shoulder as he begged, "Don't do it, Damon. Please."
But Damon just shrugged it off, "Three, two, one. Bye."
But before he could get up, a soft voice stopped him. Ellie brushed her hair away from her shoulder, moving my face so that it rested against her neck as she gently ordered, "Lexa, feed from me."
"I can't," I protested, even as I felt my face change, my fangs descending. "I don't want to hurt you."
"You're my sister, Lexa, you aren't going to hurt me," my twin reassured me, stroking my hair. "You need this. It'll keep you going until the end of the service when we can escape the hunter." She paused before adding, "I trust you."
With a deep breath, I carefully sank my fangs into the soft skin of her neck. I felt eyes on me as I fed from my sister. I hated how much I loved the taste of her sweet blood as it filled my mouth. I could hear Damon whispering behind me, "Listen to her heart, Ally, let it guide you. You can do this."
And so, I listened. I listened and I counted to ten. Once I felt that itch scratched, even if just a little, I carefully extracted my fangs. I licked away the stray blood before returning to my previous position. Elena leant against me a bit more than she did before. But she was quick to reassure me that she was okay.
"Thank you, Els," I whispered into her shoulder, giving my sister a grateful hug.
"Anything for you, Lexa," she replied, giving me a gentle squeeze. I helped her adjust the collar of her dress so that it hid her bite mark as I pressed a kiss to her cheek. I could still smell the blood, but my sister's donation had helped. It was enough to stop me from just searching for the blood, regardless of the danger.
"Do you think it's April?" Elena asked suddenly as I spied Tyler approaching the podium. I watched him with wide eyes as I wondered what the fuck he was doing. "She wouldn't have missed the service. But if she was hurt, then that would explain it. We need to help her."
"She's right, we can't let her die," I added, knowing that my twin wouldn't be able to hear the other supernatural voices. So it was up to me to let her know what they were saying. "Stefan says that it's too much of a risk."
"Not for me," Elena disagreed, shaking her head. "I'm human. He won't hurt me."
Luckily, before I could argue that point, Tyler decided to draw all attention to him. He cleared his throat as he urged the new Pastor away from the podium. He looked out across the crowd, before nodding decisively, "Excuse me. I just wanted to say a few words about Pastor Young."
"Ty, what the fuck?" I frowned, exchanging a glance with my sister. "Stop being stupid and get down from there."
But he ignored my words and the pastor gestured for everyone to sit back down. I glanced to the side, staring over at Caroline. But she just shrugged, a helpless look on her face as Tyler continued to speak, "Back in first grade, I was a brat who couldn't be bothered with team sports. Didn't care much about anything that didn't affect me. But he was the one who made me understand how important it is to be part of a team; a community. Of giving yourself up for the sake of-"
There was a loud bang and Tyler spun around before falling to the floor. It was like everything was happening in slow motion. The gun shot had the crowd screaming, ducking into the aisles as they fled the room. I sat, frozen in my seat, unable to process what had happened.
Elena joined Caroline in rushing up to the stage. Jeremy and Matt focused on getting Jenna out, pushing their way through the crowd, keeping her protectively sandwiched between them. And I just continued to sit there, staring up at the stage with wide eyes. But unfortunately, something did catch my attention.
The blood was still dripping.
And I couldn't stop myself from searching for the source.
XXX
Elena was right when she theorised that it was April who was bleeding.
The poor girl was tied up, a gag around her mouth, her back resting against the wall of the balcony. But it was the stab wound that caught my attention. Someone had stabbed her in the stomach and let the blood flow. It had soaked the floor beside her and had been dripping down into the water below.
"Oh god," I stumbled back as the smell of the blood overwhelmed me, making my face change. I didn't want to feed from the girl, but I didn't know if I was strong enough to stop myself. So I closed my eyes, tried not to breath and whispered, "Someone help."
Fortunately, help arrived immediately. Unfortunately, it was Caroline. Don't get me wrong, I loved my blonde friend. But we hadn't really spoken to each other since Evil Alaric revealed that I had killed her dad. It was painful looking at her, especially now that everything was heightened. But this wasn't about us right now. This was about April. And making sure that I didn't kill the poor girl.
"Alexa!" she gasped, taking stock of the situation. "Are you okay?"
"Um, not really, please do something before I lose control," I cleared my throat, looking anywhere but the blood. "Help her."
Caroline nodded, making her way over to the young girl. She bit into her wrist, holding it to April's mouth. The girl struggled for a moment but the other vampire managed to get enough blood into her that her wound started to heal. Colour immediately returned to her pale cheeks as she gasped, glancing between us.
"Care, I can still smell the blood," I grabbed the seat in front of me, squeezing tight, ignoring the sound of splintering wood.
"It's okay, you've got this," the blonde glanced up at me, a sympathetic look on her face. "Just keep reminding yourself that she's your friend, a kid that you used to help look after."
"She's an orphan and she's scared and she needs someone to look after her," I added with a nod, finally managing to change my face back to normal. "I need to help her. She's just a kid and I'm going to help her."
Caroline nodded, a proud look on her face, "You didn't attack her."
"It was close," I admitted, wincing as April looked at me, tears streaming down her face. "If you hadn't have arrived when you did, then I probably would have." I shook my head, "I don't know what's wrong with me."
"You're still new, Alexa," Care spoke softly, reaching out to beckon me over. "It'll get easier."
"That's what everyone keeps saying," I muttered bitterly before reaching out and resting a hand on April's knee, doing my best to keep my eyes away from the blood. "But it doesn't feel like that."
"It will, just give it time," my friend smiled gently before pausing. She glanced down at April before looking back at me. "Has Damon taught you how to compel people yet?"
"No, he thought it best to try and get on top of my hunger first," I replied apprehensively, sensing where she was taking this.
"Okay, I'm going to teach you then," she gave a decisive nod before moving me close to April. "You need to make her forget that this happened."
"I don't know if I can," I shook my head, feeling my hunger rear its ugly head as I got closer to the blood. "I'm not strong enough."
"Why did he do this?" the girl in front of me whimpered, drawing my gaze back to her tearful eyes. "Why did he hurt me?"
"Yes, you are, Alexa," Care rested her hand on my shoulder. "Just believe what you are saying."
"Believe what I am saying," I repeated quietly as I reached out to cup April's face. The poor girl was panicking, her breaths coming out in hiccups from her tears. I made eye contact, forcing her to keep looking me in the eye, "Hey kiddo. I need you to pay attention to what I'm saying, okay?" I expected the girl to repeat what I said, but when she did, when she continued panicking, I glanced over my shoulder at Caroline, "It's not working."
"It's fine," my friend smiled, an encouraging tone to her voice. "Just keep going. You've got this."
I didn't believe her, but I turned back around to the girl. I made eye contact again and took a deep breath, "Everything is going to be okay. You are not alone. You will survive this; you will get through it. You aren't alone."
Something changed. April's gaze took on a vacant glaze and she repeated my words, "Everything is going to be okay. I'm not alone."
I couldn't stop the smile that formed on my face. I glanced up at Caroline, who had moved to stand beside us. She smiled back, a proud look on her face, "You did it."
"I can't believe it," I murmured, glancing back down at April as I untied her hands. She flexed her wrists. But before I let her go, a new voice appeared.
"Can you tell her something else?" I glanced up at my sister as she spoke. I nodded, wondering what Elena was up to. My twin walked over, crouching down next to us. "You watched the funeral from up here so that you could grieve alone. It was a beautiful service. People said really nice things."
I repeated Ellie's words, enjoying the smile that formed on the kid's face. I was glad that Elena had done this. I think the girl needed it. She deserved to think that people said nice things about her dad at his memorial service. Every kid deserved that.
When Elena was done, I told April to go home and shower, ignoring the blood that washed off and to throw away her dress. Ellie gave the girl her jacket to make sure that no one asked any uncomfortable questions. And then we sent her off. Alive. Unharmed. And compelled.
XXX
Damon found me sitting on the hood of his car, my knees pressed up against my chest with my arms wrapped around them. I had demolished another blood bag while I waited for him. Being around that blood while I had compelled April had been hard. And I needed to do something to satisfy it before I did something that I would regret.
"You know, you are the only person who can get away with that," he spoke, sitting down next to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. He tugged me closer, tucking me into his side. I turned around, resting my legs over his as I sighed.
"Today has officially fucking sucked," I grumbled, enjoying the feel of Damon's fingers as he stroked my arm.
"I don't think it's been as bad as you think," my boyfriend, my lovely, sweet boyfriend, tried to make me feel better. "You managed to feed from someone with losing control. And Caroline told me that she taught you compulsion."
"That's sweet of you to say," I hummed, leaning my head up to press a kiss to his jaw. "But I've realised that my hunger has made me a liability. We have a hunter in town. And Tyler got shot in front of the town." I sighed again, "Why did we come back to town?"
"Because our friends are fools and they need us," Damon reminded me and I snorted.
"I can't disagree with you there," I rolled my eyes. "I never thought that I would be one of the sensible ones. And, not gonna lie, it kinda sucks." I couldn't stop the snort of laughter at my words. Damon rolled his eyes at me and I nudged his stomach with a pout, "Hey, that word is even funnier now. Allow it."
"You're lucky that I love you," my boyfriend sighed dramatically, bopping my nose when I laughed. "Now, do you want to come and see witchy with me? Or do you want me to take you back home first?"
"Well, both of our siblings are likely to be lurking back at the Boarding House, and I don't really feel up to seeing them right now, as bad as that sounds," I mused out loud, tapping my fingers against Damon's chest. "I haven't been brave enough to head back to my other home and get invited in. so I guess I'm going to go see Bonnie with you."
"Can't say that I'm too surprised by your decision," Damon smirked at me. I rolled my eyes, repeating his words mockingly before laughing, dodging away from his fingers.
"Day-mon," I dragged out his name. "Don't be mean."
"Am I ever?" he raised an eyebrow at me, before winking when I laughed, climbing into the car.
"You're always mean," I told him, crossing my arms. "But you're lucky that I love it."
Damon continued to tease me during the short drive to Bonnie's. I acted put upon, but we both knew that I was enjoying it. After the day, the week, hell, even the month that I had had, it was nice to have a bit of normality. Even if it meant being teased.
When we got to Bonnie's, I exited the car as dramatically as I could. I sniffed and left the door open, hiding a smile at Damon's grumble. But he closed the door for me, before resting a hand on my back as I knocked on Bonnie's door.
"Bon-Bon! Open the door! I wanna check in on you!" I called before smiling as I saw my friend through the glass. I waited impatiently as she made her way over, bouncing on my heels as she opened the door. The moment that she did, I went to step forward, eager to give her a hug. But I was stopped by an invisible barrier. "Huh. I keep forgetting about that."
I tried not to let it bother me, the reminder that I was now never welcome in a home, unless I had been invited in. It was a depressing thought, but I tried not to let it visually bother me, not until I was alone.
"Alexa," Bonnie smiled, although it did look a tad strained. She glanced at my boyfriend behind me before sighing, "Come on in."
"Thanks Bon," I stepped inside, still feeling a bit weird about it all. I carefully pulled my friend into a hug, tucking her head under my chin. "How are you doing? I've heard that you've had a bit of a rough time recently."
"It's been hard," my friend admitted as Damon brushed past us, giving us the illusion of privacy. "I can't do magic right now. It just… it reminds me of what happened."
"I wish that you didn't have to go through that," I whispered, stroking Bonnie's back. "You never should have felt as though you needed to do that. Elena getting what she wanted wasn't worth you being in pain."
"It's fine," the witch tried to brush it off, but I could see that she wasn't fine. She wasn't fine at all. "I can handle it."
"Well, you shouldn't have to," I declared, gently tugging her over to the couch. "And you're not going to. If you need anything, even if it is a shoulder to cry on or a bottle of booze, I want you to give me a call. Day or night. I will be there for you."
"Thank you, Lexa," Bonnie smiled softly before glancing up at Damon as he entered the room, a glass of water in his hand. He passed it over to the witch who took it before hesitating. "There's something that I need to tell you. No one else knows, but uh, you remember how I promised you that I would find a way to save Ric?"
I exchanged a glance with Damon, not daring to let my hopes rise, "Yeah, I remember… Bonnie, what are you saying?"
"I found a way," my witchy friend confirmed, holding out a pendent around her neck. "In the final seconds of Ric's life, I used dark magic to pull his soul into this stone. I would have put his back into his body, but… I don't have my magic anymore."
As Bonnie's face crumpled, I pulled her into my arms, "Hey, don't cry. You saved him, Bonnie. All we have to do is transfer him. It's fine. You did good."
"But I can't use my magic anymore," Bonnie glanced between us. "How can I help him?"
I hesitated before saying, and yes, I hated every word that I said, "For now, just focus on yourself. Ric would understand. But for now, don't tell anyone else. Not until you can do the spell. I don't want anyone forcing you into it before you are ready."
I glanced over at Damon who nodded his head in agreement. It was hard to say. I wanted Ric back desperately, for me, for Damon, for my family, for Jenna. But after hearing what happened to Bonnie and her Grams, I couldn't force her into this.
Ric would understand.
God, I hoped he would understand.
XXX
We sat with Bonnie until we were summoned to the high school. Stefan had sent out a group text, asking for our presence. He didn't bother saying why, and I was a bit apprehensive. But I knew that we had to go.
We took Bonnie with us. I didn't want her to be alone. Not if she didn't have to be. And I knew that if I was with her, then I could keep her mind off of everything. Even if it was just making jokes about myself. But making Bonnie laugh was more important than my pride.
The sky was dark when we got to the school. I frowned and glanced around, "Don't suppose Stefan has said anything else about what we are doing here?"
"No, he hasn't," my witchy friend sighed as we spotted the other members of our group sitting by the picnic tables. Well, everyone except for Tyler. Who was probably sitting in the hospital, bored out of his mind. But he couldn't leave, not yet. So many people had seen him get shot, it would be reckless for him to leave now.
I glanced around as we walked up to them, while Damon demanded of his brother, "Stefan, what are we doing?"
He didn't get a verbal answer. Instead, the younger brother picked up some of the paper lanterns that I had seen in boxes before. He glanced around everyone before his gaze settled on my sister, "We're finishing the memorial that we didn't get to have earlier." He passed Elena one of the lanterns before looking back at his brother, "We need to start healing, Damon. We've all lost so much, especially recently. I think we're just numb to it. We push it away, we make a joke out of it, ignore how we feel. We've never just let ourselves grieve."
I mean, he had good intentions. But we can't force ourselves to grieve. And sometimes, it was just dangerous to. When you grieved, you were blind to things. You stopped caring; you became reckless. So it was easier to ignore how you felt. And with my emotions heightened, I didn't want to grieve. It was bad enough when I was a human. I didn't want to think about how much it would affect me now.
"So, you're lighting lanterns?" Damon scoffed, shaking his head as he rested a hand on my back. I reached back, resting a hand against his chest.
I had to give Stefan credit, he didn't back down, "Yeah. Yeah, we need to do this."
A part of me wondered why he had decided to do this. I knew that it was connected to my sister. Because this was an Elena thing to have. But why now? What had happened since the service that Stefan had prioritised this over getting answers about the hunter? Why had he let us gather when the hunter was still out and about, with some kind of magical weapons?
My boyfriend shook his head, "What we need to do is find out who this hunter is and what he knows about the death of the Council. We have more important things to be doing right now, than this."
"Not tonight, we don't," the younger brother shook his head before picking up a lighter from the table. "This is for my Uncle Zach and my friend Lexi and for Alaric."
I winced at Ric's name. They were mourning someone who would come back. But I couldn't let them know the truth. I couldn't force Bonnie into bringing him back and I had to protect her from the others doing that. She had lost her Grams again because she helped my family. I refused to let her get hurt again doing that.
Stefan lit his lantern before handing the lighter to Matt. My friend took a deep breath before nodding, "This is for Vicki."
It was Caroline's turn next, "This is for my dad. And Tyler's."
Jeremy glanced at me before he took the lighter, he held Jenna's hand, encouraging them to do it together. Our aunt glanced at the kid, a grateful look on her face as she blinked away tears, "This is for our parents. For Vicki. Anna. John. And Alaric."
The kid hesitated before holding out the lighter. I knew that he was going to give it to Damon, but I knew that my boyfriend didn't want to do this. He grieved privately; this was a symbolic gesture that just wasn't for him. So I took the lighter and picked up a lantern, "This is for Rose. And Mason. For the Nolan's. For Isobel. And Dana and Chad. For all of the people who knew us and paid the price for it."
I could see a few winces following my words, but I ignored them and passed the lighter over to Bonnie. The witch slowly accepted it before grabbing a lantern, "This is for my Grams."
And finally, it was my sister's turn. She glanced over at Stefan, who gave her a gentle nod. With a deep breath, she stood up, taking the lighter from Bonnie, "This um, is for my mom, my dad, John, everyone that you've all lost, everyone that this town has lost." She looked at me then, a gentle look on her face, "And for you, Lexa."
My breath caught in my throat as I realised what she was giving me. She was letting me mourn my human life. Caroline had a funeral and I had a memorial service. I had died, my old life had ended. And this was me starting my new one.
I gave her a small nod, a smile on my face. She returned the look before releasing her lantern. One by one, we all let go of ours, watching them float off into the night sky. Behind me, I could feel Damon getting restless. But he stayed by my side and I rested my cheek against his chest. I didn't realise that I needed this until I was doing it. But my sister was right, I needed to say goodbye to my old life.
XXX
A/N: I hope you enjoyed, including my little twist ;) it's more of a slowburn one, but it will pay off, I promise! Thank you for all of the reviews, please keep them coming! I do love reading them and they really help me with inspiration :) until next time xoxo
