A/N: I am in dire need of some Nanami fluff and this crack (treated seriously) fic is my remedy.


Chapter 1: Step into the Industry


"Yes, Itadori, you heard me correctly."

Yuuji's eyes had widened to impossible proportions, hands clasped together so tightly, his knuckles were turning white.

"Wait, you're serious? You're for real, Nanamin? We're going to -"

"A concert, yes. I don't like repeating mission details, so listen closely."

Yuuji snapped to attention, one hand raised to his head in a smart salute.

"Yuuji, reporting for duty, sir!"

Nanami sighed. It was Thursday, a day he didn't particularly fancy in terms of starting a new mission. Missions that started mid-week invariably ended up incurring overtime, along with eating into his weekend on occasion. He would do his duty diligently, nonetheless, as he was expected to show Yuuji the general procedure for such investigations. Thus, he had occupied this empty classroom for a briefing. He stood before the whiteboard on which he had neatly printed the details in bullet points (a necessity for Yuuji's attention span). Pointing to the first line, he began.

"We've been receiving reports for a few months now about suspicious activity at idol performances all around Tokyo. Fans of certain idols have been going missing. All cases so far showed that the victims disappeared shortly after concerts, fan-meets and other public appearances. Initially, we could not make a direct correlation to curse activity. The disappearances themselves were sporadic and presented no specific pattern, so the case was placed under revision and monitored. Recent events, however, changed things."

Nanami pointed to a photograph of a young man, blonde-haired, blue-eyed, artfully posed to highlight his muscular torso in a hooded jacket that was unzipped. He wore tight, dark jeans, strategically ripped, and was smiling coyly at the camera. He was undoubtedly very good looking.

"This is Takashima Ryouta, stage name Ryo-ri."

"Eh? Like RiRi?"

"It's his concert we'll be attending. Recent disappearances occurring after his concerts have been far more targeted and blatant. Furthermore, our windows have reported cursed energy levels spiking in the general vicinity of these events."

Yuuji raised his hand.

"Yes, Itadori?"

"How do we know that these disappearances are even linked to idols specifically? What if it's something else they all have in common? Like, some kinda shady fan club? Or maybe someone's just targeting big groups of people?"

Nanami pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, expression carefully blank despite the small surge of pride he felt at Yuuji's astute observation.

"The latest victims were obviously targeted with intent. You see, Takashima has recently been growing in popularity, thanks to his appearance on a TV show. Some of his fanbase is therefore quite intense."

Yuuji sighed.

"Yeah, they go rabid for guys who look like that."

"For this reason, his agency has come up with a strategy to gain interest amongst his fans, but also keep him safe. Our intelligence network has informed us that they put up a lottery for each live event he performs at, allowing one fan to join him on stage for the duration of a song. The lottery is fake, however. Girls are hired from talent agencies affiliated with Takashima's. They are disguised heavily and every time he makes an appearance, one of these 'lucky' girls is the one chosen to join him on stage. This way, his fans will continue to buy tickets in the hopes that they will be chosen by lottery, but will never actually interact with him on stage."

Yuuji's mouth dropped open.

"Whoa! That's … really not cool! Isn't that kinda like false advertising?"

"We're not here to judge the insidious marketing strategies employed by a soulless, capitalist-driven entertainment industry that consumers blindly latch onto like tapeworms."

"Er – "

"Rather, we're going to be investigating why all the young ladies hired from the talent agency to join Takashima on stage have disappeared shortly after each performance."

"Seriously?"

"Yes. As I said, this, along with the more pronounced spikes in cursed energy, make this a case we can no longer afford to leave to regular law enforcement. You and I will be stationed within this area," and here Nanami pointed to a roughly circular outline on a map of Akihabara. "We have also been provided with special VIP pass tickets to the concert tomorrow and will be closely monitoring the interactions between Takashima and this week's chosen representative on stage. Afterwards, we will conduct surveillance on the individual in question. Please remember, our presence must be kept discreet at all times and we must blend in to the crowd at the concert as seamlessly as possible."

Yuuji tapped his chin. "Blend in, huh? That won't be a problem for me but, uh, Nanamin, not to be weird or anything – "

"Don't worry on my account, Itadori. I have everything planned out. I have never had trouble with creating a cover."


Yuuji shifted his weight from one foot to the other as he waited outside the main entrance of Jujutsu Tech for Nanami to make his appearance. For once, the energetic young student had arrived earlier than his experienced mentor. He had grabbed a hot coffee from the machine in the foyer to pass the time. The caffeine was not calming in the slightest.

There was something about the current mission that both excited him and filled him with nervous anticipation. From the summarized report that Nanami had left for him to read, he knew that the number of disappearances meant that they might be dealing with a tricky opponent this time. The fact that this activity was happening in such a crowded area of Tokyo also indicated that whoever was engineering these vanishings was either unhinged or audacious, neither of which boded well.

A black sedan with tinted windows made its way around the side of the building and Yuuji hopped forward, waving. The car drew to a halt beside him and he opened the passenger door, grinning as he spied Nanami in the driver's seat.

"Whoa Nanamin, I like the fit!"

Nanami's immaculate suit had been replaced by jeans, a simple, but expensive-looking grey knit shirt and a long, dark overcoat. His signature shades had been substituted for designer sunglasses and the sleek band of his wristwatch gleamed from beneath his sleeve. The normally swept back hairstyle was a little more relaxed, making him look closer to his age than he usually did.

"Thank you, Yuuji. You're suitably dressed, I see."

The student cocked his head and Nanami nodded, anticipating his question.

"I'll be calling you Yuuji for the duration of this mission. I've decided that we'll present ourselves as uncle and nephew. I am your – "

"For real?"

Yuuji's eyes were shining in a way that made Nanami cough and turn away. He propped up his glasses and shifted gear, the car gliding away from the main gates of the school.

"Yes. That way I can call you Yuuji and you can continue to call me … Nanamin, I suppose. I am visiting home after some time away and decided to spend some quality time with you, my nephew. And so, I'm taking you to a concert that you've been wanting to attend for some time. I trust you did your homework?"

Yuuji nodded proudly before pulling his phone out of his pocket.

"I downloaded all of Ryo-ri's songs last night and learned the lyrics. He's not bad! I can totally jam to this."

"Good. It'll be a long drive, so use the time to brush up on the mission details."

Which is exactly what Yuuji did, to begin with. He pulled the folder from his backpack and opened it out on his lap. Nanami had been kind enough to summarize the numerous reports for him and provided concise profiles of the main players in the case. Eyes running over Takashima's info page, Yuuji frowned slightly. Something was missing. He glanced out of the window at the passing scenery, trying for a while to figure out what it was, before his eyes widened.

So obvious!

Scrolling rapidly on his phone, Yuuji began to search for Takashima's Instagram. The information in Nanami's profile, as succinct and useful as it was, lacked … flavour. Social media would give Yuuji a more accurate idea of the image the idol was trying to put out there. Soon enough, he found what he was looking for.

Uhhh, okay then.

Takashima's pictures skirted that fine border of what Kugisaki would call 'spicy'. They were definitely risqué for an idol, but this was what seemed to appeal to his particular audience. Yuuji's eyebrows shot up at the sheer number of likes one particular photo had. The picture was a mirror selfie, showing Takashima's glistening torso, presumably after a workout, his face obscured teasingly by the phone. Yuuji nodded sagely. This image fitted in with a lot of the lyrics he had been learning yesterday.

"Ohh, I see. He's going for playful fuckboy, but like, more tasteful."

"Pardon?"

"Oops … I said that out loud, huh?"

"Yes, you did. Now explain."

Yuuji scrubbed a hand through his hair.

"Sooo, like, how do I explain this? Idols have images they create, right?"

"I'm aware."

"And those images draw fans and make them more popular. I checked out Ryo-ri's IG page and … and you know what IG is right?"

"I'm not five centuries old, Yuuji."

"Fine, fine! Just checking. Wait, do you have – "

"I use it to follow recipe pages and food blogs. Let's move on."

"So, from what I'm seeing here, Ryo-ri's fans are mainly girls who like this image he puts out of being … you know. Like a playboy, a guy who doesn't take things seriously, but nice at the same time. The persona is … the guy who'll steal a girl's heart and move on quickly, but she can't have bad feelings towards him, because he's not an asshole? It's why he also has fans who are guys. They kinda want to be like him and they feel his lyrics. You get what I'm saying?"

Nanami hummed thoughtfully. "I think so. And this is what's called … a fuckboy?"

Yuuji snorted loudly.

"That word sounds so wrong coming from you. Not exactly. Guys who get called that can be flaky and do dumb stuff, but Ryo-ri's got the right balance. He's got the 'naughty, but chill' vibe."

"I see. And do you think this makes him more or less likely to be responsible for the disappearances?"

The words sobered Yuuji, who sat back, a warm feeling filtering into his chest. As much as he had found it difficult to get along with the taciturn ex-salaryman to begin with, his view had changed a lot over time. Nanami was the epitome of a responsible adult, his stern exterior hiding just how kind and patient he was, especially with students. There were times like these, when he would ask for Yuuji's opinion in such a straightforward manner that it made the boy want to prove himself even more, to show that he could also be an exemplary sorcerer.

"Umm, I think it means we should watch him carefully at the concert. If he is involved, I'm not sure he'd be so … obvious about it? He's not super high profile, but he's getting there. If his fans are disappearing, that looks bad for him. I … I think maybe there's something else to this too."

Nanami nodded slowly.

"All right. I'll keep that in mind."

Yuuji spent the rest of the ride watching some of Ryo-ri's live performances on YouTube and searching for the specific songs where the girls would join him on stage. In between, he did some other stalking.

"Hey, hey, Nanamin. Guess whose IG I found?"

A small chime sounded from Nanami's pocket.

"Yuuji – "

"That's my invite. Don't ignore your precious nephew!"

"My profile isn't that interesting. How did you find me, anyway?"

"I checked who Gojo-sensei follows. And, I mean, there's only one person who'd call himself 'Gruyère_Ghostbuster' – "

"Don't say that out loud."

"And hey! Your profile is cool! It's not just food, Nanamin. You've got such awesome nature photos and wait … are these videos of yourself cooking? I recognise that watch! Are you making rolled eggs here? And oooh … you've got puppy videos?"


The weather was perfect, the sky bright and clear, the normal obscuring fog of the city conspicuously absent. The air still carried a chill and Yuuji wrapped his red scarf closer around his neck. They had parked some distance away from the open-air venue where the concert would take place and were now steadily making their way in that direction, soaking in the sights and sounds of Akihabara.

Yuuji was carrying a bag of manga he had bought at a nearby store and chattered amiably about the recent story arc. Nanami followed a few paces behind, nodding along to Yuuji's remarks. On the surface, they looked every bit the ordinary uncle and nephew. Only someone who knew exactly what to look for would note the way the boy sometimes shifted his body to observe people better or the way the older man's eyes would flit sharply back and forth beneath the sunglasses.

Thus far, there had been nothing overtly suspicious in the area, besides the low-grade cursed spirits that showed themselves at intervals. After some time, they found themselves at the venue which adjoined a hotel and conference centre. The centre itself housed quite a variety of functions, with a spa, restaurants and various stores catering to a wealthier clientele. Nanami took the lead, passing through the security checkpoint at the hotel. Yuuji trotted nervously after him, half expecting a security alarm to start blaring because of what he knew was strapped to the older sorcerer's back.

Nothing happened. Nanami turned his head slightly.

"Cursed energy can also be used to conceal things."

"Ha. Cool. I guess I gotta learn that sometime. Where are we going, by the way? The concert will be out that way, but I know it's still early …"

"We have VIP tickets, remember. That means we get access to any of the services here and hotel rooms close to the concert venue. I'm sure you're hungry, so let's get something to eat first."

Nanami began to make his way to the upper levels of the centre. Yuuji followed, sticking close to his mentor. As confident and easy-going as the teen usually was, there was an air of opulence and rarified luxury here that was starting to make him feel small and very out of place. Looking around, he could see executives in expensive suits talking on their phones and people carrying shopping bags with hideously expensive name brands emblazoned on the front. He glanced down at his sneakers and discreetly tried to rub off a scuff mark against the back of his leg before glancing over at Nanami. The tall man showed no sign at all of slowing down, his stride elegant and assured, looking every bit as if he belonged in this setting. People parted ways to allow him to pass.

Eventually, he led them to what looked like a high-end steakhouse. The maître d' stepped forward, his eyes roving intimidatingly over the two, and Yuuji was tempted for a minute to mutter apologies, scamper off and order a cheap slice of pizza somewhere. A firm hand on his shoulder stilled him and he felt a small sense of reassurance assert itself as Nanami's deep voice sounded above his head, explaining that they had a reservation.

By the time they reached the table, Yuuji's excitement was back.

"Wow! Look at the view from up here!"

"Hmm. A good view over the stadium. See that? That's the stage where Takashima will be performing."

"Ahh, so that's why you chose this place."

"Indeed. Reconnaissance. That, and the steak here is superb. We can see them work on putting up the stage props. That way, we'll sense if anything deliberate is happening behind the scenes."

With that, the sorcerer began to study the menu. The meal was, unsurprisingly, a fantastic experience. Nanami ordered them a selection of starters, steak for mains (with a carefully selected wine pairing for himself) and the most delicious chocolate dessert Yuuji had ever tasted. When they were done, the pink-haired boy sat back and sighed.

"How come we get to do all of this? Do the higher-ups really approve all the costs?"

Nanami sipped his wine before replying.

"Depends. If a proper motivation is provided, there's no reason for them to refuse. Of course, this requires us to fill out a series of detailed documents that most jujutsu sorcerers don't bother with."

"But not you?"

"Have you forgotten my previous profession? Form-filling is my speciality. My paperwork is nothing less than exceptional and thorough. There is always solid evidence of what I need. If it is not approved, I log an official query that requires a lengthy board meeting and an extensive review of all documentation." The corner of Nanami's mouth crooked up in a small, rare smile. "It's been some time since any of my requests were denied. Let it never be said that I'm not compliant."

Yuuji grinned in return and raised his glass of juice.

"Kanpai, Nanamin."


There had been no sign of anything unusual during their late lunch and by the time they made their way down to the concert, the lower levels were already swarming with people. Looking around, Yuuji saw, unsurprisingly, that most of the crowd consisted of young women. They were chattering and laughing loudly, and everywhere he looked he saw faces alight with excitement. Contrary to the atmosphere that was growing around them, Yuuji's concern spiked. There was potential danger lurking somewhere, and it would be difficult to detect in such a large mass of people.

Nanami steered him through the crowd to a separate entrance where fewer people had queued. This was the entry-point for those with VIP tickets. They were soon through the checkpoint and were directed by various ushers up a winding staircase to a wide outdoor box that spanned an entire floor. Although sheltered from the elements, the box projected overhead towards the stage, offering a perfect view of where the performance would take place. They took their seats, scanning their surroundings carefully. Thus far, there had still been no sign of elevated cursed energy.

"Yuuji, remember why you're here."

"Oh, right!"

Springing up, the youngster made his way around, using the allowance Nanami had given him to buy some merch and snacks from the vendors that were stationed against the back of the VIP box. He began to slowly make a circuit, pausing now and then to start casual conversation with others who were also making purchases. Soon enough, his friendly and open personality had drawn a few others into his orbit, and he compared merch, exchanged contact details, introduced people to his awesome 'uncle' and even found himself invited to an online fan-club of Ryo-ri's. Eventually, he made his way back to Nanami.

The older sorcerer had been casually sipping a coffee, eyes taking in the stage and the members of the audience who had been filling into the main area below. He glanced up as Yuuji took his seat.

"Anything?"

"Nothing so far. Everyone seems pretty normal."

"All right. When the performance starts, you focus on the stage. I'll check the audience."

A lesser-known girl band opened the concert, the energy of their performance doing a lot to hype up the crowd. Yuuji played his part very convincingly, shouting encouragement and applauding loudly. Nanami bit back a smile when he noticed that others were taking their cue from his lively 'nephew'. The first act was followed by another group and then there was a slight lull, a sense of building anticipation as the main performance drew near.

"There he is," Nanami muttered, as Ryo-ri bounded onto the stage to a cacophony of high-pitched screams and thunderous applause. The idol hitched up his baggy jeans and swaggered from one end to the other, delivering a series of compliments to his 'beautiful' audience and blowing a kiss that made some of the girls in the front row look like they were about to pass out in ecstasy. Ryo-ri started with what Yuuji recognised as the biggest hit from his second album, a high energy dance number that really got the crowd on its feet.

The pink-haired teen threw himself into his own act, starting up a glow-stick dance routine in the front row that the people around them soon joined in. Nanami shifted awkwardly. As much as he had encouraged Yuuji to act the part of the excited nephew, he should have foreseen how it would make him look in comparison. The girls behind them were quick enough to catch on, because they were soon shoving their extra glow-sticks into Nanami's hands and encouraging him to get on his feet too. Yuuji turned and snorted with laughter.

"Just follow my lead, Nanamin! It's easy, see?"

As he waved the glow-sticks around his head and turned on the spot, Nanami's profound sense of existential horror soon settled into detachment as he went through the motions. He was just glad that Gojo wasn't here to witness this debacle. Soon enough, it was time for the anticipated lottery announcement. Ryo-ri made a show of pulling a piece of paper from a large bowl that had been carried onto the stage and read the number of the winning ticket. One of the women in the front row screamed in excitement and the crowd parted to allow her entry to the stage. Burly security guards did a quick check of her person before showing her through. Yuuji slowed down his routine, pausing to take a sip of water and munch on a handful of popcorn, his eyes glued to the stage. Nanami used this momentary lull to mutter the word "bathroom" and make his way to the end of the VIP box. Here, the sorcerer paused, eyes scanning the crowd carefully through his dark glasses.

The young woman, presumably one of the secretly vetted members of the talent agency, climbed onto the stage. Her hand was placed over her mouth and her eyes shone with glistening disbelief as Ryo-ri took her hand and twirled her around, dropping her softly into a plush seat that someone had brought up at some point. She was certainly a good actor. The idol began to sing a crooning ballad, one of his more popular slow-paced songs, as he danced languidly around her. Nanami frowned as he began to sense a change in the crowd's mood. On the surface, people were hooting and cheering at the display, but there were undercurrents of negative emotion that had begun to rise like a miasma over some portions of the audience. There could be no mistaking the general feeling.

Jealousy. Resentment. Longing.

What the sorcerer had not expected was the strength of the emotion being exhibited. Was it like this at every performance with an idol in high public demand?

Not quite.

Ryo-ri was pretty avant-garde in his approach to gaining popularity. Nanami recalled what Yuuji had mentioned earlier in the car, about how the idol was not afraid of presenting an image that was quite risky in the Japanese entertainment industry. Inviting a fan on stage was not a common practice and it was understandable, judging from the sensations Nanami was getting from the audience. But then, this was what sold tickets and drew fans into a never-ending circle of unfulfilled desire. The sorcerer allowed his mind to sink into that meditative state that allowed him to spread his senses even further, more receptive to slight changes in cursed energy. As unpleasant as the sensation was, sickly sweet with underlying bitterness brushing against the edge of his mind, he observed the swathe of people below him with unerring focus.

Ryo-ri had upped the ante of his performance, twirling strands of the 'lucky' woman's hair around his finger, gyrating sensually in front of her before dropping to his knees at her feet, one hand brushing gently across her ankle. Nanami felt distaste rise in his throat as the poisonous thrum of envy from the audience grew further. Those happy faces and the applause were so deceptive, considering the hidden depths of emotion some were allowing to fill their hearts, overflowing into the space around them.

And then, he felt it.

The swell of negative emotion grew like a wave, the spike of cursed energy at its peak so sharp and subtle, like a blade honed so fine that it passed painlessly across the skin, leaving blood blooming in its wake. Across the way, Nanami saw Yuuji mask his own reaction admirably, a tiny pause in his energetic waving as he sensed it too. Scanning the crowd, Nanami frowned as the minute trace of cursed energy was lost under the current of emotion once more. With a small signal to Yuuji to stay where he was and observe, the sorcerer made his way quickly and quietly down the stairs to the security check point. Here, people could move between the VIP box and the general area freely, as long as they displayed their pass when they returned.

He emerged into the crowd, the sights, smells and sounds assailing him, tugging at his awareness like a petulant child. Focusing ahead, Nanami began trawling, edging his way slowly and meticulously forward. Glancing up he saw Yuuji take a break from dancing and lean nonchalantly against the railing, sipping an iced drink, alert to what was happening on stage. Shoulders brushed and slid across his, Nanami's height allowing him a fairly good view over the majority of the people around him.

And so it was that he felt it again, that sharp, tingling touch of poison, dangerous and chemical on the tongue, like the scent of paint-thinner that hung in the air of empty buildings. He turned towards the source, concealed eyes searching through the throng of people. Something was definitely here. Something cunning, something with a sinister awareness that slid away from the edges of one's perception. Feeling the tension coil within his frame, Nanami pressed on.


Ryooo – riiiiii. Ryoutaaaaa. Ryo. Ryyyyo.

It rolls so nicely off the tongue. So sweet, so sweet. A sticky fruit candy on a hot summer's day.

He's up there, for all of us to see. Our eyes are crawling all over him, like many, many spotlights. How precious he is. Precious as a little pearl.

He's definitely better than all the others. Gino was a looker, oh yes, but … there was something missing. That innocent little boy act? It got old so, so quickly. Yawn. And Kiko was great too, but then he couldn't handle the fame and went away for a while. Ick. So uncool. But Ryooooo-riiiiii. Oh, Ryo-ri. He's … different. He owns the stage.

His hair is shiny as tinsel under those lights, and his eyes! Oh, his blue eyes are focused and so, so dreamy. And look, look at his shirt. So translucent with sweat. Delicious.

Ryooutaaaaa. Why won't he look this way? It's so unfair. If he could just see me … maybe he'd be the one who wouldn't be able to look away. Wouldn't that be lovely?

Tiny little trickles of sweat, from his brow and upper lip. How nice if he could wipe it away and smile, right into my eyes, with that look. That look. The one in his photos, the one that makes me feel so … present. So solid. Oh yes, Ryo-ri is perfect. He'll do.

Last month, his sneakers were orange. Orange! Imagine, such a bright, garish colour. But Ryo-ri makes it work, somehow. He always looks so tasty. Nobody can pull off orange shoes like Ryo-ri.

But, but, what's this? Who? Who's here?

Is someone here to stop me? I won't let that happen. Who is it? They can try, hahahaha! Nobody has stopped me before and they won't now.

Wait … something's different. Something is searching. Careful now. This doesn't feel like anything good. I feel eyes, but different. And a presence. A strong one. Who, who is it? Where? Careful.

There! I see him. He's coming this way. I can't let him … who is this anyway? How dare he. I want to crush him like a stupid little bug. Like that bitch on stage, that ugly, lying, cheating, stupid, stupid, stupid little bitch. Both of them.

He's coming closer. No, no, I can't let this happen. Careful. Don't get angry. Don't let him find us.

He's here! He's right here. Something's not … he's dangerous! Get away! He's turning this way! I can see his face! He's … oh.

Oh.