~Five~

The student bar, Junction, was busy for it being so early in the week. He met up with Rick and some of the others he frequently saw there. People were still excited over his racing win from the night before and eager to offer to buy him drinks, most of which he couldn't accept. He wasn't supposed to drink alcohol while on some of the medication he was prescribed, mainly for the fact that it ended up enhancing their sedative effects. That might have been a good thing, if it weren't for the whole increased risk of overdose and death issue.

He hadn't been at the bar long when he noticed there was one particular girl who'd seemed to be keeping an eye on him. He didn't know who she was. As far as he could tell he'd never talked to her there before. She had a shorter pixie-type haircut and he wondered if maybe it was new and throwing him off because she certainly seemed to give the impression she knew him. She kept her distance though, until he stepped outside with the others to get a little air. She followed him out and finally approached him as he stood a short distance away from Rick and his other acquaintances while they smoked cigarettes.

"Do you recognize me?" she asked him.

"No," he said honestly, shaking his head. Even with her standing closer, he didn't think he did.

"I was at the race last night. I put a note in your pocket," she revealed and he shrugged lightly.

"You weren't the only one," he told her.

"I know who you really are," she stated, bringing to mind the folded paper square that he tossed out when he got home.

"Whatever you've heard—" he started to say, already prepared to lie, as he had so many times, and tell her he only looked like the SOLDIER she thought he did.

"Are they part of it?" she asked, cutting him off. She indicated toward Rick and the others.

"Part of what?" he asked back.

"That terrorist group you're in," she said and he looked back at her hard. Right away he thought of the group Galen and Genesis had been a part of. The one he'd been basically forced to join, back when Galen had been fired from the Shinra and Genesis had aspirations of killing the president. Still he played dumb.

"I'm not in a terrorist group," he told her firmly.

"Anymore, you mean?" she inquired.

"Why would you think—" he started to question and she interrupted again.

"I had a student job at the financial building you and another couple guys blew up a while back. Remember that?"

He should have just denied knowing what she was talking about right at that moment. He didn't know why he didn't, or couldn't.

"You were there that day?" he asked, shocked to be confronted by someone who might have been affected by that violent event.

"I was one of the hostages," she informed him.

He couldn't place her in the group but he could picture them as a whole. He and a guy named Trigg had rounded them up to hold for leverage against the police, their best chance of getting out of the building alive after they'd completed the mission they were sent there for, to force a money transfer. Trigg had been overpowered by the hostages while he was alone with them and instead of trying to do something to take back control of them, Cloud had made it possible for them to escape.

"Look, if—" he started to say, not sure what kind of threat was coming his way, but certain there would be one in some form.

"I'm not going to call the cops or anything," she said, silencing him. He didn't know what to say then. "I mean, it wouldn't be right seeing as you may have saved our lives that day," she claimed. "You let us go. Disarmed the charges on the doors so we could escape. Who knows what would have happened if you hadn't done that."

"People still died," he argued softly. "Police officers, at least one of your co-workers." He remembered the other guy he'd been sent to the building with, Demois, had shot the advisor they'd had make the money transfer.

"You did that?" she inquired and he shook his head.

"Not me specifically," he said.

She nodded to that. "I remember you so well, you know why?" she asked.

"It was probably pretty traumatic," he suggested and she tilted her head side to side.

"Yeah there's that, but I remembered thinking you seemed so out of place. Didn't seem like you wanted to be doing what you were doing," she told him. He didn't know what to say back to that. "So you're not with them now then?" she asked. He didn't give a response, verbal or otherwise. "How'd you even survive that explosion?" she questioned when he stayed silent.

"I don't know," he said softly in return. He shook his head then. "I don't know what you're talking about," he tried to claim then. It was too late to try to pretend he had no idea, but that's where his anxiety took him. He tried to walk away from her then.

"It's okay. Life's complicated and things aren't black and white," she argued, making him pause. "Whatever you were doing at the time, I'm sure it wasn't really what you wanted," she assured him. He looked back at her and she just smiled a little before heading back into the building. He was still staring at the space she'd been standing in when Rick tapped him on the shoulder.

"What's up?" he asked.

"Uh, nothing," he said. "I'm gonna go, I think," he told Rick. "Need to get some sleep."

He said the words knowing that without some sort of help there was no way he was going to be sleeping. He stopped at a 24-hour store on the way home and purchased a small bottle of liquor. He went for something at first with a vaguely familiar label, only he didn't really know why it was familiar until he got it home. Only then did he finally remember that it was the same brand as what he'd taken from Rand's suite the one night back in Gongaga. He'd stolen it after escaping his cell in the middle of the night and kept it hidden until the night he decided he'd reached the end of his proverbial rope. He'd wanted out of his life bad enough to end it. He'd swallowed down a handful of stolen medication with the alcohol he'd taken and hoped to just not wake up again.

With the tangible reminder of that awful night now on the kitchen counter in front of him, he found himself shaking as he twisted the cap off the bottle and lifted it to his lips to fill his mouth with it. It flooded over his tongue but before he could swallow it down he was spitting it back out into the sink. He turned the bottle upside down and began dumping the liquor down the drain, not able to hold it long enough to let it fully empty. He dropped the container against the bottom of the sink as he burst into sobs. He sank to the kitchen floor slowly. He took his phone in his hand and opened his contacts. His thumb hovered over Zack's number for what felt like an excruciating amount of time before he decided he couldn't call him, or that he shouldn't. He dropped the phone against the tile and cried to himself instead.

000

He couldn't stop thinking about his conversation at Junction with one of his former hostages. He knew it wasn't accurate to consider her one of his hostages. It's not like he'd wanted to do what he did, but he'd been part of it. He'd pointed a gun at her and the others, given threats. So what if he'd helped her and the others escape? The event had obviously had a lasting impact on her. What if some of them had nightmares because of what they'd been through? What if they'd struggled since then? It was hard to think about.

He didn't want to think about it and at the same time felt like he should. That he should think about it a lot and accept the guilt he felt. It didn't seem fair to just forget about the pain or hurt he'd helped cause. It had him thinking of Marlene and the way she looked up to him. Barret had been guarded about having him and Zack in Marlene's life. He didn't want her around dangerous people and it was a completely reasonable fear to have. He didn't think of himself as dangerous to her, not directly anyway, but now he was questioning if he was good for her at all.

After work the following night, he decided to head down to Tifa's bar before going home. He didn't really feel like being alone in his apartment right away and he figured maybe he needed to talk to Tifa about some of what was going on in his head. He got down to the bar when she and Zack were closing up for the night.

"Hey," Zack said when he came through the door to join them. "What're you doing here?" he questioned with a warm but tired smile.

"I just didn't feel like going home right away I guess," he told his friend. "Figured I might as well help you guys clean up."

He started to mirror Zack's actions, picking up the chairs at the nearest table to the door and flipping them to rest their seats on the table tops so they were off the floor.

"What? Didn't get your fill of cleaning at the college?" Zack replied. "Well, if more cleaning's what you desire, the bathrooms could definitely use some love after tonight. Someone threw up in a urinal. Who does that?"

Cloud smiled and shrugged. "Sure, whatever," he said. Cleaning was cleaning. Nothing really grossed him out anymore.

"Are you okay?" Zack asked him and he nodded.

"Yeah," he said back softly. "Just having a…I dunno, just one of those nights. Can't stop thinking."

"Ugh, it's the worst," Zack acknowledged.

Tifa emerged from the kitchen then. "Hey!" she greeted when she spotted Cloud. "How was work?"

"Same as usual," Cloud said simply.

"Wanna help me with the empties?" she inquired and he nodded, leaving his place near Zack to help her carry crates of empty bottles out to the back of the building.

"Hey! I had him roped into handling the bathrooms already," Zack protested.

"Aw, too bad," Tifa was quick to throw back at him.

"Busy tonight?" Cloud asked her when they were outside stacking the crates together.

"Yeah," she confirmed. "Tuesday is cheap night. I like to think that only describes the drink prices, but some of the people, man, I dunno," she remarked and he laughed lightly.

He helped bring a few more crates out to the back before delving into what had been weighing heavy on his mind since he'd been at Junction the night before.

"Teef, do you think I'm a good person?" he asked and she was quick to laugh as though she thought he was kidding. She noted the seriousness of his expression and the smile faded from her face.

"That kinda came out of nowhere," she said and he sighed a little.

"You know that there were a lot of things that happened, people that got hurt in one way or another when I was with Genesis and Galen and the group they were running," he reminded her. "They bombed buildings. Clinics. I was part of that. And I hurt people while trying to protect Genesis."

"You were also trying to protect yourself and people you care about. You didn't do anything that the rest of us wouldn't have had we been in your shoes. Of course, you're a good person," Tifa told him.

"I don't know. I think about how it would sound trying to explain something like being part of planting bombs and holding people hostage to Marlene and there's no way to make it sound not as bad as it does," he reasoned.

"Okay, well first of all, I hope you aren't planning to tell her about any of that any time soon, she's too young."

"Yeah, I know, I'm not going to. It's just, hypothetical," he assured her. "I just know that in the past, you and Marlene were threatened because of me, and there's things I've done that, regardless of why I did them, they weren't right. Even now…I could be better. I can't help but question whether it's a good idea or not for me to be anywhere near to her."

"Are you out of your mind?" Tifa replied. "Marlene adores you. We've all done things we aren't proud of. Things that I'm sure make us all questionable role models in one way or another. It doesn't make us bad people." She faced him and placed her hands on his shoulders. "You're one of the best people I know, and you're one of the best people Marlene knows. That's what matters. Not a handful of actions or mistakes you probably wouldn't have made had the circumstances been different."

At his sullen expression, she tightened her grip on his shoulders and shook him a little. "Don't make me kick your ass, Cloud Strife," she warned through a laugh, making him smile a little.

"You think somehow it would make me believe what you're saying?" he questioned and she dropped her hands from his shoulders.

"No, but it'd be fun for me," she said in return. "Hey, you know now that you're over, you should stay," she said. "You could make pancakes for Marlene for breakfast. I don't know what your secret is, but mine pale in comparison apparently. She's really not shy about letting me know either."

He smirked at the suggestion. "I dunno," he replied hesitantly.

"It's been awhile," she reminded him.

"I don't sleep very well when I'm not at home," he told her. "Or at home either really," he added more to himself. "I'm not even really tired," he concluded.

"Well, you don't have to sleep," she said. "There's other things we could do," she pointed out.

"Like what?" he asked, pretending not to know.

He didn't really know how to describe the relationship he had with Tifa at present. He didn't really spend much time thinking about it. Next to Zack, she was the one other person he trusted the most. Since regaining his memories of growing up with her in Nibelheim, he felt a renewed comfort being around her. She'd been the closest thing to a best friend when he'd been young and the fact they shared the loss of their hometown along with family members, made him feel like they were connected on more than one level.

He'd had a crush on her growing up, but they weren't kids anymore. Things weren't that simple now. After returning from Costa del Sol their relationship became the most physical that it had ever been. They'd shared kisses. They'd made out a handful of times. They'd even eventually taken things farther and slept together, though only a few times. It wasn't hard to be with her because he didn't have to worry when he was. And yet, at the same time there wasn't anything pulling him back to her, other than just the feelings of familiarity and comfort.

After they finished cleaning up for the night and Zack had left to go home to Aerith, he and Tifa eventually ended up in her bedroom, quietly kissing in the dark while Marlene was sound asleep down the hall. They were still fully clothed on the bed but it didn't last long before that took a turn. Tifa pushed him onto his back gently and knelt over him as his hands slid against the bare skin of her back, under her shirt that she pulled up and over her head after a moment. She urged his own t-shirt off him as well. They were locked again lip-to-lip as she was starting to undo his pants. That's when he was struck by a sudden guilty feeling and a need to stop them from going any further.

"Wait," he said then, taking her wrists in his hands and pushing her back slightly. "Wait, I can't do this," he told her and she looked back at him in a mixture of confusion and embarrassment.

"I'm sorry, I just thought—" she started to defend herself. "You don't have to feel like you have to, I just—"

"It's not that," he replied as he sat himself up to face her.

"I shouldn't have just assumed you'd still want to," she said softly as she moved herself over slightly, off his legs, to kneel next to them.

"No, it's…" he began as he looked at her, trying to decide if he really wanted to tell her what he was about to. He knew he needed to, otherwise she'd think she'd done something wrong.

"Wait a second," she said then before he could continue. She leaned forward across the bed to turn on the lamp next to them. The sudden illumination made him squint a little. "Are you seeing someone?"

"Why would you think that?" he asked back quickly.

"Is that it, or…"

"Not, not exactly," he denied a little awkwardly. "Not anyone I care about, or anything," he started to explain finally. "I just…there's been people."

"People?" she echoed in question. "People you've been, like, sleep…ing with?" she asked.

"Not sleeping," he denied.

"You know what I mean," she said back fast and he nodded in confirmation. "Oh," she spoke quietly to that. "Okay."

"Okay?"

She shrugged subtly. "Yeah. I mean, I don't really know what I'm supposed to say other than that," she told him softly.

"You don't care?" he asked.

"Well, no, I care," she said. "It's just that…well we're not…you and I aren't in some kind of exclusive thing, or anything. We've never even talked about what our relationship even is. And, it's up to you what you want to do with whomever. You don't need my permission or anything."

"Yeah, but," he said, looking at her though her eyes were downcast. "I guess I just thought you should know. I mean, I didn't or don't really know the people that well, so, I just thought it wouldn't be fair to you to go farther if you didn't know," he explained slowly. She did look at him then and she didn't look happy.

"Okay, now I think I'm getting annoyed," she said. She reached for her shirt and pulled it back on. He started to do the same. "Actually, no, I'm mad," she decided. "What do you mean you don't know the people that well? What the hell are you even saying then?"

He shook his head. "I don't know. You don't have to worry though, it's been after we last, you know…"

"I'm not worried for me, idiot," she shot back at him.

"I'm fine," he stated.

"Are you?" she challenged. "Because you're not really inspiring any confidence. What you're talking about sounds dangerous, Cloud, for you," she pointed out and he sighed. "Is there a reason you're even doing what you're doing with whatever people you're talking about? I mean, a reason you want to try to explain because there's already a pretty obvious one."

"Does this need to be a therapy session right now?" he questioned, trying to keep his tone from turning sharp.

"You tell me," she replied. "Have you talked to Zack about this? Or anyone else."

He shook his head then. "It's not anyone's business. Like I said, I just, I think it'd be a jerk move on my part to not let you know, in case it makes you change your mind about wanting to do stuff with me," he said.

She nodded at that. "I'm glad you told me." Her tone had softened again. "Yeah, I don't know if it's a good idea for us to be sleeping together, or whatever you want to call it. I'm kind of worried now about what it means for you." He lowered his eyes at that. "I care about you, Cloud," she told him. "Do you even know how you feel about me? Really? Do you even want to do what you're doing with me?"

She waited for him to respond. It took him a moment. Finally, he looked up at her and shook his head a little. "I don't know," he told her honestly.

"That's a problem," she stated gently. "You need to figure it out."

"I'm sorry," he said and smiled back at him weakly.

"It's fine. I just can't do this if you're not okay."

"I am," he argued but she wasn't looking at him anymore. "Teef," he said and she just shook her head.

Sighing again, he moved himself to the edge of the bed next to him and stood up to find his boots.

"Where are you going?" she asked then.

"What do you mean?" he questioned in confusion.

"It's three-thirty in the morning. Just stay. For Marlene," she urged.

"Are you sure?" he asked and she smiled.

"I'm sure," she confirmed.

000

You need to figure it out, Tifa had said. Sure. No problem, right? It shouldn't have been a problem. He should have been able to just look inside himself and know what he was thinking and feeling, but trying to do that was like looking through a landfill for one specific thing, all while more piles of trash and loose items were being deposited on top of everything else.

The weight kept piling on. Time didn't make anything easier, just gave him more and more hours to dwell, and to then dwell on how much he was dwelling and not able to get any better. He'd done everything his therapist had suggested. He had a place of his own. He had a job. He was mostly responsible about taking his medication and keeping himself accountable. Sure there were some questionable activities he'd been involving himself in, but if he didn't do something to distract himself he was going to go crazy—or, crazier.

He had asked his therapist what was next, what did he need to do next to keep improving. Nothing really. Nothing he wasn't already doing. He needed to make small goals for himself and to keep striving to meet them. He needed to work on his personal relationships. To keep communicating with the people in his life to make sure he knew he was supported and so that he wouldn't slide back into some sort of reclusion, which was easy to do when trying to overcome trauma. But…that was it. He was just supposed to…live.

So, that was all he could do. Do what he was doing. Eating, semi-sleeping, medicating, communicating, working. One day at a time. Cleaning one surface at a time. Mopping one floor at a time, wiping down one lab workbench at a time…It was a Friday night after the final classes had let out. He'd been invited out again by Rick, but to a different bar than Junction. More of a club. It stayed open a little later than some of the other places near to the campus. He was thinking about it.

It was about quarter to midnight when he got to the last room he needed to clean. It was looking like his shift would be going a little later. Sometimes that happened on a Friday if there was more to clean up than the usual. Apparently, it was important that the school be as tidy and sanitized as possible going into the weekend. His last room was one of the biology lab rooms. Rather than desks, it had six rows of long workbenches that needed to be wiped down and each had four sinks nested in them at equidistance that needed sanitized as well. It could take a little longer than a normal classroom.

He tended to zone out when he was working but even if he had been fully alert, someone suddenly appearing where he was working close to the end of his shift was bound to take him by surprise. He heard the sound of the one door opening at the front of the room and looked in the direction fast, unsure of who would be coming into the room at that hour but making the quick assumption it would be one of the other maintenance guys on his shift, or maybe someone from security.

It was neither, and even if he'd often worried about finding himself in such a moment as the one he found himself in right then, imagining it happening was nothing like the reality of it.

It was Randon Cane, the man who'd called himself his Keeper not so long ago. He was standing staring back at him as he shut the door to the room behind him.

What the fuck? He thought he exclaimed the words aloud at first because they seemed so loud in his own head. That's not what made it to his mouth though. All he was able to speak suddenly was one word.

"No," he said as he dropped the rag in his hand on the workbench he was leaning over and started to move toward the other door in the room. There were two, one on either side of the huge whiteboard at the front of the room.

Quickly, Rand was heading to intercept him, making him stop in his tracks.

"Wait, please!" Rand called from the front of the room. "I-I just want to talk," he announced.

"How did you find me?!" Cloud found himself asking aloud in a panic, not even really meaning it to be something the man should answer.

"I always know where you are," the man said.

Cloud looked over the workbenches to where he'd set his phone down on the second bench from the front of the room. Rand saw what he was looking at and was fast to secure it in his own hand. He made another attempt at rushing to the opposite side of the room, in the direction of the door Rand had come through but again was forced to a standstill when it was obvious Rand could cut him off again easily. With his phone now in his hand, Rand locked the door to the room swiftly and turned to face him.

"Unlock the fucking door and get out!" Cloud ordered him as aggressively as he could muster. His whole body was already shaking and it reflected in his voice. He could barely look the man in the face. Tears fueled by a combination of anger and fear and an onslaught of rushing memories were already building in his eyes.

"I will," Rand told him. "I just need to talk to you. Just give me five minutes, please."

"I'm not giving you shit!" Cloud shot back at him.

With the man standing once again at the door he'd entered the room through, Cloud found himself searching desperately for another way out. There were windows along the back of the room. They weren't easily opened but if he needed to smash one to escape, he would. There was also a pull for the fire alarm on the one wall near the back of the room where he was confined. He thought about pulling it but then he remembered that would only clear the building of anyone who might actually be able to help him. Maybe his best option was still to make a run for it. Surely, he could push Rand out of the way if he tried to stop him.

"Just listen to me!" Rand ordered as him then as he started to move toward him up the aisle at the side of the room.

"I don't want to hear anything you have to say!" Cloud fired back at him as he moved himself around to the aisle on the opposite side of the room, trying to keep as much distance between them as possible.

"You have to give me just a minute—" the man pleaded.

"Why?!" Cloud found himself yelling. He was trying to only feel the anger that he had, fighting to keep himself from falling into a panic attack. "Because you think you own me? Is that what you thought would happen when you bought up all those project shares? You thought you could what? Buy me?"

Rand stood still across the room and shook his head adamantly. "No, that's not what I was trying to do. I did it for you," he tried to claim.

"For me?!" Cloud blurted back in disbelief.

"I didn't know what Shinra was going to do with you," Rand told him. "I thought I could protect you this way."

"Protect me?!" Cloud almost found himself laughing. "I needed protection from you! All you ever wanted was control. It was all about you!"

He had to put his hands on the lab bench nearest to him and try to breathe. He felt the familiar crushing feeling of his chest tightening up on him. He was losing to his anxiety once again. He thought he was going to start sobbing and his legs were going to fail him. He wasn't even sure he could feel them.

"No, I—" Rand began to argue.

Cloud had his head lowered a moment as he was trying to make himself inhale and exhale steadily and when he looked up again he could see the man was moving forward again, between two of the lab benches toward him. He backed away quickly, making Rand pause.

"Get away from me!" he warned. "Don't come near me!"

"I'm sorry, Cloud," Rand told him before sighing deeply. "You're right to be angry with me," he declared softly. "I, yes, I took advantage of the fact I was in control. I took advantage of the vulnerability that the implant left you with," he admitted. "But I also..."

"What?!" Cloud asked when the man seemed to be struggling to finish his confession.

It was only then that he really took in the man's appearance, of how much he looked like he'd changed since he'd last seen him. He was a little thinner and more disheveled now. He almost always had some amount of facial hair in the past but it had always been well-trimmed. That wasn't so anymore. One thing was the same. His coat. That reddish brown leather coat that he seemed to favor for wear even when the season wasn't right.

"I care about you. Deeply," Rand said. "I miss you. It took some time to see that I—I love you, Cloud."

"Love me?!" Cloud found himself replying sharply and loudly.

It wasn't what he would have ever in a million years imagined the man telling him and he didn't believe it either.

"You're sick," he declared, shaking his head. He couldn't catch the hot tears streaming out of him then, even if he'd tried. He felt sick himself, his stomach tight and churning. "The things you got me to do…" he remarked with disgust at not only Rand but himself. No matter how many times Zack or his therapist, or anyone else tried to make him see that the things he'd done with Rand had been out of his control, he still felt like part of it was his fault.

"You made it seem like there wasn't a choice! Like I needed you to do the things you did to me," he pointed out.

"I know," Rand replied, nodding slowly.

"You drugged me so you could do what you wanted with me! So I couldn't fight you off if I wanted to!"

"I know, but that's not why," Rand refuted. "I just, I didn't want to hurt you."

"Didn't want to hurt me? Since when?" Cloud countered. "You—" He stopped. He took a breath and let his mind tour back over everything that was contrary to what Rand was suggesting. "You had me beaten in Gongaga," he pointed out first.

"Yes," Rand said in agreement, not trying to deny the truth.

"You had me confined to a box in the floor, threatened to drown me inside of it!"

"Yes," he said again.

"Let Sephiroth assault me."

The man nodded as he shut his eyes briefly. "I did."

"Shackled me to my cell, put me through shock fucking therapy, convinced Hojo to put a goddamn control collar inside my brain!"

"Yes," he agreed softly.

"You made me into some little screw-toy you could play with behind closed doors. You didn't want to hurt me? That's all you've ever done!" Cloud found himself crying out angrily and despairingly.

He couldn't hold back from fully crying at that point. He took hold of one of the stools in front of the workbench before him and crouched down next to it, feeling like he was going to throw up. For a moment Rand only watched him.

"I'm so sorry," he said as he tried to approach him again slowly. "Cloud, I—"

Cloud stood up fast and sent a warning look in his direction. "STOP!" he shouted as he lifted the stool in his hands from the floor to slam it back down loudly. "You," he yelled, "don't get to touch me, ever again!"

He was only breathing heavily then. It was just the sound of his breathing while Rand looked at the floor in front of his own feet.

"Okay," he uttered then. "I'm, I'm leaving," he told him finally. "I'm leaving Midgar," he elaborated as he looked up once more and tried to meet Cloud's eyes. Cloud avoided the contact. "I just needed you to know how I feel before I went. I'm going to leave you alone. You won't see or hear from me. I just, I want you to be happy," he concluded. "Here," he said as he took Cloud's phone and set it down on the end of the workbench before him. "I'm sorry," he said one last time before turning and heading for the door.

Something hit Cloud then when he was watching the man leaving. Something that he was realizing in that moment that he'd never quite before then been able to describe or put to words.

"You know the really screwed up thing?" he called to Rand when the man had unlocked the door and opened it. He stopped to listen but didn't look back at him. "You and Hojo did such a good job with your conditioning, you messed me up so bad that I feel like I need permission just to live my own damn life. Like I can't take goddamn breath of air without asking for it first. Thanks for that, you fucking asshole."

He saw the man's head dip a little but still he didn't look back. He dropped his arm from the door and walked back out into the hall, letting the door fall shut and leaving Cloud alone again.