Hi reader!

Thank you so much for coming back to read. I'm sorry that we're back to long waits between chapters. Trying to find time to write has been difficult. I think I've managed to get a schedule working for me though that allows me an hour every few days to at least work on the story a little bit at a time. Because I do only have so much time though to write, and I don't want you waiting years for the end of this story, I'm probably going to rush the plot a long a little after this chapter. Sorry if this chapter doesn't seem very eventful but the eventfulness is coming lol. I promise. I'm sorry if the story does end up seeming rushed though after this point or if there's inconsistencies. I just don't have the time anymore to go back to check on past chapters for certain details to make sure there's consistency. Hopefully nothing major ends up standing out but you can let me know if you want if something doesn't make sense and I'll try to fix it at some point.

I've pretty much given up on expecting the notifications to work on this site. I don't get them for your reviews and I don't think all of you get the notifications when I update. I don't know how many people are reading at this point. If you've been going through the annoying process of checking for updates without getting the notifications I'm so sorry. I've had requests to move this story over to Archive. I believe I will do that at some point.

Take care!

General Content Warning: Chapters in this story may contain upsetting or triggering content including but possibly not limited to violence, consensual and non-consensual sexual references and descriptions, drug and alcohol use and abuse, references to or descriptions of mental illness, self-harm or self-injurious behaviour, and references to or discussions of suicide.

~Forty-One~

Zack found himself lying awake through most of that night in Gongaga after his father's funeral. Aerith was lying asleep next to him and it felt like a piece of himself he'd been missing desperately was back, but it wasn't enough. Sleeping was never all that easy or restful, but until he heard Cloud's voice telling him he was okay, he didn't know if he'd ever really sleep again.

As he stared up at the ceiling above him, he willed the hours to pass quicker. In no way was he wishing to make the time when his father would be buried come quicker, and at the same time he was anxious to get back to Midgar. Hopefully when he met up with the others, they'd be able to get a clearer picture of when Cloud was last heard from and who he spoke to last. Until then, all he could pray for was that Cloud was fine wherever he was and that he was going to reach out and explain why he'd gone silent.

It was windy and overcast at the graveyard where his father was finally laid to rest. Many people from the town, most of whom he believed had also been at the funeral the day before, were in attendance for the burial. He received dozens of remarks of condolences and it was there that some of the boys he'd known and considered friends when growing up had come to greet him briefly. If they'd been at the church the day before he couldn't remember seeing them and certainly hadn't been approached by any of them.

It was strange to find himself speaking to them. They were a little older of course but hadn't changed as much as he felt he had himself. He'd been concerned that they might try to ask him about his past with Shinra or SOLDIER or about his criminal conviction and the obvious ankle monitor tethered to him, but they didn't.

For the few minutes he talked to them they only reminisced a little about being friends when they were young and shared what they'd got up to in their own lives over the years. Relationships, careers, two of them had young children. It had Zack feeling something like loss for the fact he knew that could have been his life instead had he chosen not to join SOLDIER. He tried not to feel bitter about it. If he hadn't left Gongaga for Midgar he also would have never met the love of his life or his best friend.

The morning and midday hours passed as quickly as he'd willed them to and though he really hated to have to leave his mother while she was grieving the loss of his father and her husband, he wasn't upset to leave behind his childhood home and the town that made him feel so sad about what he'd lost and never had.

As soon as their plane landed in Midgar, Rayna was sending text messages to Johnny to let him know they'd made it back. He let her know he was waiting to pick them up in the parking lot. Zack couldn't speak for the others, but he was a little surprised to see Tifa waiting with Johnny. She was leaning against a small car parked next to Johnny's van. He thought he recognized it as Joey's.

"Hey, Six, Teef," Zack greeted them as they finally met up. Tifa hugged him first.

"I'm so sorry about your Dad," she said near to his ear before letting him go.

"Thanks," he said back and she reached out then to hug Aerith as well. "My god, it's good to have you back," she told her.

"It's good to be back," Aerith responded warmly. "I never thought I could miss this place so much," she added before she hugged Johnny briefly as well.

"Didn't expect you to meet us up here, Tifa," Zack remarked.

"I know," Tifa acknowledged but didn't immediately give the reason for why she had decided to be there when they landed. She glanced a little nervously at Johnny then.

"Something wrong?" Rayna asked, noting the strange exchange.

"Uh," Tifa began to try to answer but she felt suddenly like she could cry. It was so much harder with Zack standing in front of her looking so emotionally and physically tired to tell him what he needed to know about Cloud. She looked at Johnny again. "I can't," was all she said then.

Zack knew immediately that whatever it was, it was about Cloud.

"Some police officers were by Strife's apartment yesterday and talked to Reno," Johnny told them then. "His bike was pulled out of the harbor in Junon and they don't know where he is. Guess they figure it was in the water a few days before it was found."

"What?" was the word that left Zack's mouth quickly in response. In fact, he was sure Aerith and Rayna had also responded with that one word on top of his.

"How do they know it's his?" Aerith asked.

"Some of his stuff was with it," Tifa relayed what Reno had told them.

"They probably would have run the plate and vehicle number," Johnny added.

Zack shook his head slowly at what they were saying. "There's no way," he muttered then, reaching into his pocket for his phone. He'd already checked for messages and missed calls when they were back in service range and there'd been nothing from Cloud as far as he could tell, other than that one message he left days earlier. Still, he tried calling Cloud right there on the spot. Tifa guessed at what he was doing.

"He's not answering, Zack. His phone isn't on. It doesn't look like it's been on in days," she said.

She was right of course. The call when straight to voicemail, as it had the previous times Zack had tried calling that day and the day before.

"None of you have heard from him for days?" Zack questioned as he lowered his phone again. The others confirmed they hadn't.

"When'd you last hear from him?" Johnny asked Zack in return and upon checking the date he received that final voicemail from Cloud, it was concluded that it had been nearly a week, six days since his last communication that they knew of.

"Was that the same day Reno saw him in Junon?" Tifa asked and he nodded.

"Where's Reno right now?" Zack questioned.

"I had him on a job until late this morning," Johnny explained. "He might still be sleeping. He's supposed to be at the loft in a few hours though," he added, indicating he'd be around Johnny's place soon.

"What stuff was with his bike?" Rayna asked then.

Johnny shook his head a little. "The police didn't say."

"Well, do they have any idea what happened?" Aerith questioned softly.

"They really didn't give much information," Tifa claimed and Aerith nodded in understanding. "Reno did mention though that it seemed like the police might be considering that it wasn't just accidental."

"Not accidental?" Rayna responded a little sharply. "Do they think he drove it into the water on purpose?"

Johnny didn't respond to that and Tifa gave a slight shrug as she watched Zack take in what was being said.

"I can't believe this," he muttered as he stared down at his feet then. "Why am I just hearing about this now?" he asked abruptly then, looking up at Johnny and Tifa once more.

"With what happened with your father, you had enough to deal with—" Tifa started to explain but Zack interrupted her.

"You should have called me," he spoke almost angrily then. "Not let me come all the way back out here just to find this out."

"You had to come back anyway, it wouldn't have made a difference telling you yesterday except maybe making you feel worse," Tifa shot back at him.

Zack shook his head once more before picking his bag up off the ground at his feet and putting it over his shoulder.

"What are you doing?" Aerith asked him quickly. It didn't seem like he was planning to take his bag to the back of the van. She knew what he was thinking before he said it.

"I gotta see if I can get a flight to Junon," he said without looking at her.

"You can't," she said gently, reaching to take his one arm.

Rayna was quick to respond too but not as gently.

"The hell you are. You have to go to the parole office with me to check in with them. We're on a deadline," she reminded him. He turned to look at her swiftly, about to protest. "I'm serious, Zack. It's my ass if you don't. You want to come back here and try catching that fugitive flight later, go for it."

With a huff, Zack lowered the strap of his bag from his shoulder again.

"Fine, let's go," he said. "Tifa, you going back to the bar?" he asked and she confirmed with a nod. "Can Aerith go with you?" he inquired.

"Of course," she agreed.

"Zack, no," Aerith protested. "I can go with you," she told him and he shook his head a little.

"It's okay," Zack said. He could see and feel her apprehension. He'd given her an obvious reason to feel that way.

"He's not getting on any planes on my watch, Aerith," Johnny called over from the back of the van where he was opening up the one door.

Aerith smiled faintly but followed after Zack as he headed to the back of the van to toss his bag into it. He seemed to be trying to avoid looking at her. She didn't give him a choice then as she stopped him at the open door and took his hand. She said his name softly and he finally did look her in the eyes.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered to him. "I don't want to leave you right now."

"I'll see you later," Zack spoke back to her quietly before putting a hand on the back of her head and pulling her toward him so he could kiss the top of her forehead. "Tifa could probably really use a friend by her side right now," he pointed out and she nodded to that.

"It'll be okay," she told him. "No matter what's happened, we'll get through it together."

He nodded and she told him she loved him. He said the same and upon a reminder from Rayna that they needed to get moving, he said goodbye to her and they parted, her leaving with Tifa and him with Johnny and Rayna.

On the way to the parole office, Zack sat silently in the back of the vehicle. Rayna was asking more about what the police had said but there didn't seem to be much Johnny could say that hadn't been said. Zack's mind was spinning and trying to make sense of the very few details he had regarding Cloud's disappearance.

He'd been to Junon, been to the harbor front. It was years ago, but he was sure it probably hadn't changed much. There's wasn't really a way to get that close to the water unless driving right on the boardwalk or pier, and at the time there hadn't been vehicles permitted on it. You'd have to be illegally driving on it. The only other way into the water was at the boat launch areas. He hated to think about it, but an accident didn't make much sense. He could see why police would jump to the conclusion it had to be intentional, still he couldn't accept the possibility Cloud had been driving it when it went in.

He considered himself a paranoid person, for obvious reasons. He'd never really been that way in the past but what he'd been through with Shinra had changed him. As the minutes passed and he told himself over and over that it didn't make sense that Cloud's bike ended up where it did with no sign of him, he started to think about the reasons someone would have to put the bike in the water. To get rid of it maybe. It had him thinking that there was an obvious answer. Shinra.

They made it to the parole office close to his deadline he'd been given. There he signed some documents indicating he was back in Midgar and that he understood he was still under the same conditions as before. The ankle monitor was removed and he was able to go about his business and he certainly felt like he was on a mission then. He had only just stepped outside the office and he was retrieving his phone.

"Who are you calling?" Rayna asked him but he ignored her.

After dialling, the line rang several times before being picked up.

"This is Tseng."

"It's Zack," he said.

"You're back from Costa del Sol?" the man inquired after a moment's pause.

"Yeah, I need to see you right now," Zack stated firmly.

"I'm working right now," the Turk told him with some apprehension evident in his tone.

"I assumed you would be," Zack said. "I'll come to headquarters, it'll only take a minute."

"Can this not be done on the phone?" Tseng asked.

"No," Zack denied. He needed to see the man's face as he spoke to him.

"I'm not in the office."

"I'll come to you. Send me a pin or an address or whatever."

"I—" Tseng began to refuse and Zack stopped him quickly.

"A few minutes, Tseng, that's it," he promised.

Giving in finally the man told him, "I'll send an address."

"What are you doing?" Rayna asked him when Zack put his phone away.

"Getting answers," he told her as he started heading back to the van with her following.

"You think Shinra's done something to Cloud?" she asked when she got back into the front seat of the van. Johnny, who'd been waiting for them in the driver's seat looked up from his phone mid-text to someone.

"Wouldn't be the first time," Zack remarked while shutting the sliding side door next to him.

Johnny and Rayna looked at one another. Rayna looked like she might argue but didn't make it to that point.

"It's worth looking into, isn't it?" Zack questioned rhetorically. "I just need to talk to Tseng for a few minutes. I'll know if I talk to him," he declared.

"Okay," Johnny said. "HQ then?" he asked.

"No, I got an address from him," Zack replied. "You don't mind taking me?" he asked.

"Nope," Johnny replied. "Where to?"

The address Tseng sent was an event arena on the plate in the next sector over. With no special events currently running there, the parking lot was empty. The Turk arrived a few minutes after they did and parked a few spaces away. Zack walked up to meet with him as he stepped out of the car.

"I thought you might be alone," Tseng said as he looked over to where Johnny and Rayna were seated in the van.

"Never mind them," Zack said.

"When'd you get back?" the man asked as his eyes returned to him.

"A few hours ago," Zack told him.

"You look very tired," he observed and Zack nodded.

"I am," he confirmed.

The man seemed to wince a little with sympathy. "Was it not helpful being away?" he questioned gently.

"It was fine," Zack said through something of an impatient exhale. "It—my father passed away," he revealed bluntly then.

Tseng was clearly taken aback by the news. "I'm so sorry, Zack," he said with surprise and sadness.

"Thanks," Zack replied without really looking at him. He aimed his gaze at the pavement between them and shook his own head before looking back up at him. "Look, I needed you to meet me because I need to ask you about Cloud," he said and the sympathetic expression on the man's face became one of question and possibly confusion.

"Cloud?" he said. "I haven't spoken with him since…"

He paused and looked past Zack once more, back toward the van. It was clear he was hesitant to mention what he'd last talked to Cloud about, which Zack was sure was about the existence and passing of Cloud's baby son. "Since before you and I last spoke," Tseng concluded. "Has he remained firm in his decision not to return to Midgar?" he inquired then.

"I don't know what he's decided about anything, Tseng, since he's gone missing," Zack retorted sharply.

Tseng looked confused once more.

"Missing?" he said.

"Police pulled his bike from the harbor in Junon and he's MIA," he told the Turk who averted his gaze toward buildings nearby as he was processing what he was told. "You look surprised," Zack noted aloud and Tseng nodded slightly.

"This is the first I've heard of it," Tseng said.

Although he didn't actually doubt Tseng's words, he couldn't let himself so quickly believe the man wasn't just pretending.

"Is it?" he questioned and his words and tone had Tseng meeting his eyes again quickly.

"What are you implying?" he asked with clear offence taken.

"You know what," Zack said, hardening his tone further. "This looks like a poor attempt at a cover-up that's right up Shinra's alley."

Tseng was shaking his head before he'd even finished his sentence. "No," he denied.

"Tseng, I swear to god, if Shinra has a hand in this and you know—" Zack proceeded to threaten, moving a little closer to the man.

"Absolutely not," Tseng spoke firmly. Met with Zack's unmoved expression and him staring him down he spoke as reassuringly as he could while remaining firm. "That is the truth, Zack."

Zack was breathing a little shakily then as he spoke close to the man in a low but severe voice. "Swear to me on Rufus or whatever you care about and respect the most that I can believe what you're saying right now," he demanded.

Rather than try to match the intensity of Zack's tone or acting in any way defensively, Tseng spoke softly and with care. "I promise you," he said, looking at him straight. "Shinra is not involved in this, not that I'm aware of and there's no reason I would not have been made aware if that were the case."

Zack actually had a hard time looking at Tseng then because he not only believed him, he felt the gut punch that came with having accused him of something that had clearly hurt Tseng on a personal level. He could see it in his eyes.

"What about Galen?" he pressed on. "The science freaks?"

Tseng shook his head slightly. "They're monitored heavily and restricted in the types of work they are permitted to do since Rufus has been head of the company. It's not possible that something like this would have gone unnoticed, but I will make sure."

"You really trust Rufus not to commission something like his father?" Zack inquired, forcing himself to stay skeptical in the moment. "Cloud was pretty valuable for both him and Rufus," he pointed out.

"Yes," Tseng agreed. "But don't forget, it is largely because of Shinra and Rufus that Cloud was freed and has been receiving recovery treatment." Zack scoffed a little at that, though he knew he couldn't argue. "I know that a lot happened in the past," Tseng spoke softly once more, "actions that were unforgiveable, by the company and myself, but I care very much about both of you and your well-being."

Zack looked at him straight once more. He allowed himself then to accept what he'd already known in his heart but had needed to put aside for Cloud's sake in the moment. Tseng did care about both of them and he truly was regretful for things that had happened in the past.

"I…know that," Zack finally said in return. "I'm sorry. I had to ask," he told him and the man nodded. Zack found himself fighting back a few tears then. He managed to do so as he went on to question, "So, then Hojo? You said there's some proof he may be dead. Is that confirmed for sure yet, or…"

"Nothing further has come out of that investigation but the chance he'd be behind something like this is miniscule. He has no access to the kind of resources he would need to make abducting Cloud worth it. He'd accomplish nothing," Tseng pointed out.

"Supposing his only motivation was scientific and not just to torture him," Zack argued.

"It's not his style, Zack. Cover-ups have certainly been something utilized by the company, I can't argue that, but Hojo, himself, was never concerned with such a thing. He certainly wouldn't be now that he has no reputation to protect. It would be a waste of his time. He'd just take Cloud somewhere no one could get to him," he claimed what Zack did feel was true. "It isn't Hojo," the man stated surely.

If that was true and Shinra also had nothing to do with Cloud's disappearance, Zack was lost as to where to look next.

"The police have an investigation going in Junon?" Tseng inquired after a moment of his silence.

Zack shrugged a little. "I assume so. It was Reno that Midgar cops ended up talking to."

"I'll get in touch with him and see if I can't talk to someone from the department out in Junon," the man told him but he was barely listening at that point. All he was thinking of were Cloud's last words to him in the message he'd left on his phone. "I imagine he was very distraught," Tseng said, breaking him out of what felt like a momentary trance.

"Reno?" he asked.

"Cloud," Tseng said. "When he learned about…what he'd had and then lost…"

It took Zack a moment to catch on to what it seemed Tseng was implying, that Cloud might have, in fact, put his bike in the water on purpose, and also gone in with it. He gave no response, even if he wanted to protest or argue. He didn't, choosing to be silent instead.

"I'm sorry," the man expressed with sadness. "I need to go."

Zack nodded. "Thanks for meeting me," he said a little dully.

"I'll do whatever I can to help," Tseng assured him. "If there's anything."

"I appreciate it," Zack said and although he'd meant it, his tone was flat. He felt like he was losing touch with the ground below him and he really was tired. Tseng could see it.

"Try to get some sleep," the man advised as he placed a hand on his shoulder, giving a gentle reassuring squeeze with his hand before getting back in his vehicle.

Zack headed back to the van.

"He says Shinra's not involved," he said to the others. "He's going to call around to police in Junon and see if they feel like sharing any information."

"Why don't you come up to the loft and talk to Reno?" Johnny suggested.

"Because he's irritating," Zack replied swiftly while buckling his seatbelt.

"Ain't that the truth," Rayna muttered.

"He was the last person we know of who had contact with Strife in person," Johnny said, while turned in the driver's seat to look back at Zack.

"Have we considered the implications of that fully?" Rayna asked, insinuating Reno may have had something to do with Cloud's disappearance. Both Johnny and Zack looked her way and she scoffed at their silence. "Sorry, bad time to be joking," she said.

Zack smirked a little in response. There was a time when Reno would have certainly been a suspect but it wasn't even something he felt he had to consider now for even a fleeting moment. While not his favorite person in the world, Zack could tell that Reno actually cared about Cloud, or at least cared about the relationships he did have with him and everyone else. He supposed it was time he actually accepted him as a friend even if he was an annoying one.

"He might be able to give a little more clarity on how Strife seemed before, Johnny tried to explain. "Maybe it'll help."

To Zack, it almost seemed like Johnny was trying to suggest something similar to Tseng and it had him thinking again about how he seemed to know more than he was letting on. If anything, he didn't really seem surprised by Cloud's disappearance, or whatever it was. Perhaps he didn't think Cloud had driven himself into the harbor as it felt like Tseng might have suggested, but Zack wondered if he had already concluded Cloud just didn't want to be found.

Johnny, himself, could relate. He'd done that exact thing, maybe not by choice initially. He'd been declared dead in Wutai, but he'd decided to stay that way. He'd said goodbye to the Johnny Six everyone had known and established himself as something and someone different. That meant cutting virtually all ties with the world and people he'd known in the past.

Zack didn't ask in that moment what Six's feelings or beliefs were about the situation. He didn't think he had the energy to get into it. Regardless, he supposed he did need to talk to Reno.

"Fine," he agreed through a heavy exhale. He texted Aerith then to let her know that he'd finished at the parole office and was going to go up to Johnny's loft to see Reno about Cloud.

Zack sank into the seat below him a little and stared at the passing buildings and cars as Johnny was driving them back to his place. He didn't have many thoughts going through his mind at that point. He felt a little like he was out of his body, or like he couldn't feel much of it. He'd barely eaten anything in days. Barely slept…and yet he didn't feel much need for either, even if he was exhausted.

He was scared. The nightmare scenario he'd dreaded happening was actually happening. Not so long ago he'd stood on a sidewalk with Cloud outside a jewelry shop where he'd been looking for a nicer engagement ring for Aerith, and Cloud had told him of his plans to leave on a road trip alone. He'd tried to stop him, begged him not to go, tried to convince him it's wasn't what he needed to do. He'd conveyed to Cloud his concern that something might happen to him while he was out of Midgar and he wouldn't be able to get to him on account of not being able to leave the city. Now, that exact situation seemed to have happened.

Once at Johnny's, Zack texted Reno to let him know he was waiting to talk to him whenever he got there. He sat in the living area scrolling through old messages on his phone while waiting for Reno to get there. Johnny was on his own phone handling what sounded like business from pretty near the moment they got to the loft and Rayna busied herself with unpacking and showering. It was about a half hour before Reno made it over. By then Zack was just sitting with his head resting on the back of the couch as he stared up at the ceiling. He heard footfalls on the stairs leading up to the loft and a moment later the door opened.

"Yo," Reno said in a pretty sombre tone that he wasn't used to from him.

"Hey," Zack replied as he lifted his head from the couch and sat himself up a little straighter, trying to look a little better or less overwhelmed and exhausted as he felt. He noticed Reno had a paper shopping bag with him.

"Really sorry again about your pop," he conveyed sincerely. "I come bearing booze," Reno remarked as he set the bag down on the coffee table and lifted a sixpack of beer bottles from it. He passed one of the bottles toward Zack, who didn't immediately reach for it. "What?" Reno asked. "You were in rehab for mental shit right, not drinking problems?"

"Mental shit?" Zack repeated his words flatly.

"Well, you know what I mean," Reno said and Zack took the bottle from him finally. He twisted the cap off and dropped it onto the coffee table. Reno did the same with another of the bottles before sitting himself down in the one armchair, still with his jacket on and zipped up.

"How'd it go out in Gongaga?" he asked.

"It went," was all Zack felt like saying about it.

"Right," Reno acknowledged with a bit of a nervous chuckle. "So, you wanted to talk?" he questioned.

"Not really," Zack said back through an exhale. "But I want to be on the same page as everyone else in terms of what the cops had to say to you about Cloud going missing in Junon."

"Right," Reno repeated softly. "Like everyone else," he noted under his breath. "Well, I uh, maybe held back a little bit with Lockhart," he revealed.

Zack looked back at Reno, observing his expression and the seriousness of it.

"Let's hear it then," he said as he leaned forward on the couch, feeling that whatever it was he was ready for it.

"Where's my landlord?" Reno asked as he looked past Zack towards the back of the loft. He thought he could hear what sounded like a hairdryer running. "Bathroom?"

"Landlord?" Zack repeated in question before realizing what he meant. He'd been staying at Cloud's apartment that was technically leased to Rayna. "Oh," he said then and glanced back briefly at the bathroom door. "Yeah," he confirmed. "Does it matter if she hears?" he inquired then.

"Not really, she'll probably hear about it eventually," Reno said with a small shrug. "The cops were asking if Strife has any mental health issues or problems with drugs," Reno recounted. "They wanted to know if he's ever been suicidal or done anything to hurt himself," he added.

Zack shrugged a little. It wasn't really a surprise given what he'd already been told. "It's probably pretty standard to ask," he reasoned. "What did you tell them?" he asked. He knew that Cloud had certainly had problems with self-medicating himself, taking more or less than what he was prescribed at times. He knew Reno had witnessed it first-hand not long ago.

"I didn't really say anything about it, honestly, but I told them he wouldn't drive himself into the fucking harbor," Reno replied. "I told them it had to either be an accident or someone stole the bike and put it in the harbor."

Zack nodded to that before taking a drink from the bottle he was holding onto lightly on the coffee table. He was grateful that Reno had chosen not to say anything about Cloud's struggles with his mental health. He just didn't imagine the police would take his disappearance as seriously if they believed he was just a suicide case, though that seemed to be what they were considering. If they knew he'd been hospitalized in Midgar for overdosing then they'd probably have even less motivation to consider other possibilities.

They could both hear the sound of the hairdryer that had been running in the bathroom turn off and a moment later the door was opening and Rayna was walking out into the living area. She could feel how heavy the air was in the room.

"Reno," she acknowledged him as she was headed toward the closed door of the one bedroom where the sound of Johnny's voice could barely be heard as he was talking on the phone. She nodded at the beer on the table. "Brought the cheap stuff huh? As if Zack could feel any worse right now," she remarked.

"Whatever," Reno said back before reaching into the paper bag on the floor next to him and taking from it a bottle of whiskey that he set on the table. "Does that make up for it? Cheap beer, leaves cash for premium liquor," he commented and she rolled her eyes. "Hey, that don't look like your bedroom," he called as he watched her open the closed door to the room where Johnny was.

"Eff off, Reno," she said back over her shoulder before entering the room and closing the door behind her.

Inside the room, Johnny stood facing the window while he was still on the phone with someone. Whoever it was they were doing most of the talking right then with Johnny only acknowledging with a few sounds. He ended the call then with a "Yeah, fine" before dropping his cellphone onto the top of a stack of folders next to his open laptop on the small desk that was in the room. He leaned forward over the chair in front of it, instead of sitting down. Rayna guessed he was going through emails.

"Hey," she spoke up after a moment while she was standing at the dresser putting back on her jewelry she usually wore and her watch. "Is Reno handling shipments tonight?"

Johnny answered her without looking back. "No, he's got the evening off. He's doing the early morning collections. I'll handle it."

"What about the club?" she asked.

"It's covered," Johnny told her. "Should be slow anyway."

"I can cover the warehouses," she told him. "You could use a night off."

"No such thing," Johnny replied as his phone vibrated with an incoming message that he briefly glanced at before he did sit down then in the chair in front of the desk, though not fully facing it straight on.

"A night in then. Business by phone only," she suggested. When he didn't respond, she looked over at him and he seemed distracted or tense but also tired. "That news about Cloud couldn't have been easy to hear," she said as she moved to sit down on the end of the bed, closer to him. "I know I'm kind of having a hard time with it and I feel like I barely knew him," she noted. "You don't seem very concerned," she said. He seemed to pause what he was doing in response to her suggestion but didn't reply. "You are though, aren't you," she stated.

Johnny sighed then and turned away from the laptop. He leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and dropped his face into his hands briefly so he could rub it tiredly before resting his chin against his clasped hands. He just looked at her and she read his answer on him. Obviously, he was concerned.

"You could have texted me about Cloud while I was in Gongaga," she tried to tell him without sounding accusatory.

"I know," he agreed. "There was no way Zack was coming back here if he got that news about him out there."

"Sounds a little like trying to control someone's choices for them," she pointed out. "Aren't you against that?" He smirked very slightly in agreement.

"It was your ass though on the line, remember?" he justified.

"Oh, so you were protecting me. You don't think I could have kept my mouth shut?" she asked, feeling a little offended at the thought.

"It wouldn't have been fair for you to have to know and not say anything," he claimed and she nodded a little.

"Okay," she spoke neutrally, not sure she really believed that but he seemed sincere.

"He needs his friends around right now," she pointed out, speaking of Zack and tilting her head back in the direction of the door to indicate as much. "I think you both do. He barely ate anything while in Gongaga. He's tired. There's a good chance Reno's probably going to have him drunk off his ass before he leaves. You think it's a good idea sending him back home like that?"

"Probably not," Johnny said. "Alright," he said through another sigh, looking at his phone as it started vibrating again, that time repeatedly like a call was coming in. "Shipments are yours," he told her.

"Can I take the van?" she asked and he nodded before finally picking up his phone to answer it.

Back in the living room, Reno had finally revealed quietly to Zack that the cops had asked if he knew Cloud had been admitted to the hospital in Junon recently but wouldn't say why. Zack was shocked and confused to hear it.

"He didn't mention anything then?" Reno asked him and he shook his head.

"No. Did they say when he was admitted?" he questioned in return.

"Huh," Reno responded almost with realization. "I didn't think to ask," he told him. "What would it mean?" he asked when Zack exhaled deeply and sank back into the couch.

"I don't know. Probably nothing," he replied, looking with Reno at the bedroom door when it opened again.

Rayna walked out of the bedroom over to where there were some sets of keys hanging next to the apartment door.

"Where you going?" he asked as he got up from the chair he was seated in to go retrieve a few shot glasses from the one cabinet.

"I'm covering the shipments tonight," she told him while putting on her jacket.

"What? Why?" Reno said back fast.

"Because they don't manage themselves," she spoke back sharply.

"Thought Six was—" he started to respond and she cut him off.

"He's getting a night off."

"No shit?" Reno said with surprise as he set the shot glasses down on the coffee table. "Boys night in!"

Rayna scoffed. "I don't care what you call it, just make sure you eat if you're getting wasted," she advised. She addressed Zack then specifically. "Sorry about what's going on with Cloud. He could be fine though," she tried to tell him.

"Yeah," he said, nodding a little. "Thanks again for coming out to chaperone me. Sorry for the hassle."

"It wasn't," she denied. "Later boys," she said as she headed out.

Reno had poured some of the whiskey he brought with him into two of the shot glasses and slid one toward Zack who tried to wave it off.

"Come on man, I know you could use it," Reno said.

Rather than argue, Zack gave in and took the shot. It wasn't easy. He wasn't a liquor drinker really and it showed on him as he had to force the liquid down with a grimace. Truth was, he did feel like he could use it. Though he felt sapped of energy and his brain felt like it was moving slower than normal as a result, he also felt like his anxiety was going through the roof.

"Good shit right?" Reno commented after drinking down his own shot and filling both of the empty glasses again.

Zack couldn't really say one way or the other. It really just tasted like medicine to him and gave him the same shuddery feeling through his body as it settled into his stomach. He chased the taste with a mouthful of beer before returning to the topic that had brought him there to meet with Reno.

"So. Cloud. Junon," he stated. "You saw him after I left for Costa del Sol?"

"Oh, yeah," Reno confirmed with a nod, "For about twenty minutes before he walked out on me."

"Walked out on you why?"

Reno shrugged. "Because I called him on his shit and he didn't like it I guess," he reasoned. "I told him you left to go get more treatment. Mentioned that Aerith and Kunsel had gone off and I told him to quit being such a pain in the ass and come home to be here for his so-called best friend when he's back."

Until that moment, Zack had felt like he barely had enough energy to listen, let alone converse, but he was instantly annoyed then.

"So, you guilted him?" he accused.

"Guilted?" Reno echoed. "No, I might have pressured him a bit," he defended.

Johnny exited the bedroom then. He'd been looking at his phone in his hand but looked up at them as Zack's voice got suddenly louder.

"Seriously, Reno? What the hell is wrong with you? If I had wanted him to know I was back in Costa del Sol then I would have told him."

"I may have overstepped a little," Reno admitted.

"With what he's been through, the last thing he needed was to worry about what was going on with me," Zack fired back at him.

"I get it, man," Reno said with his head lowered slightly and his eyes on the floor at his feet.

"Why would you put that shit on him?" Zack pressed on.

"Fair," Johnny said as he slipped his phone into his pocket, trying to calm Zack then but Reno quickly responded.

"I'm sorry, okay! Don't think I haven't been regretting it. It's all I've been thinking about. It's not like I knew what was going to happen." Reno paused and took a breath and a quick drink of beer. "And if I thought he couldn't handle some tough fucking love then I wouldn't have given it. I thought he was fine, he…he seemed fine," he concluded a little softer.

There was a short silence then before Zack asked, "He did?"

Reno gave another subtle shrug. "I mean, he looked tired, I guess. But he's looked like that a lot. He sleeps like shit. I really thought when I left that he'd come back here, or that he'd call you at least."

"He did call," Zack told him.

"No shit, he did?" Reno spoke back almost hopefully.

"Yeah, but my phone was off at the facility. He left a message that I didn't get until I was leaving for Gongaga," Zack explained.

"What did he say?" Reno asked.

"Basically? Goodbye," Zack said.

"Seriously?" Reno spoke with a furrowed brow.

"Not exactly but it felt like it," Zack replied. "He said again that he didn't want to come back to Midgar. He said he feels like he's made my life harder and that he feels like there's only one place he should be and it's not here with us," he clarified.

"What place do you think he was talking about?" Johnny spoke up to ask. Zack looked up at him and shook his head.

"I don't know," he said sadly.

"You don't think maybe he actually was meaning…" Reno started to question. He stopped and when both Zack and Johnny looked at him he just said, "You know."

Zack assumed he was asking if it had been Cloud's way of saying he didn't want to live anymore.

"No," he said firmly. Even if the thought was in his mind, there was no way he was going to accept that. Not unless there was undeniable proof of it. "Is that what you think?" he asked Reno.

He seemed to stumble with his answer then. "No, but…like…"

"What?" Zack prodded him to continue. "Just say it if it's what you think," he demanded sharply.

Reno glanced at Johnny before he went on to explain a little nervously. "If you'd asked me yesterday it was 'hell no' but I thought about it a lot last night. I still don't really think that's what happened but well, we sort of talked about the issue, back when I found him passed out in the apartment after he took too many meds. Like, the next day. It surprised me a little, how much he said he actually thinks about, you know, ending shit. Given all of what you both went through, it's not surprising that he would think about it sometimes, but…sounds like it's a lot more than that."

Zack couldn't really look at Reno as he speaking. He had a hard time actually holding back his emotions as he was listening.

"He said that he wouldn't do it in the apartment with me there. Said that he wouldn't want someone he knows finding him," Reno told him and Johnny, who finally sat down in the other nearby armchair. "Thinking back on it now, I don't think I realized that when he said that, you know, what he wouldn't do…it was kind of like saying he'd actually thought about how he would do it or where. Like, some of the finer details, I guess."

Zack thought about what Reno said as he sat back and drank down some of his beer. He'd talked to Cloud about what had happened that night when he overdosed. Although Cloud had told him He hadn't been trying to end his life, he also did say some other things that, while they did concern him at the time, perhaps he hadn't put as much weight to as he should have. Like how Cloud said he always feels messed up and that receiving the surprise recording from Rand had pushed him 'over the edge' that night. He'd mentioned that he had already been messed up from something happening earlier so it wasn't just the recording alone that had led to him overdosing himself, but the fact that he even had an edge he could go over like that…he should have recognized what Cloud was telling him without saying the exact words.

Zack couldn't help but hate himself for not trying to talk to Cloud more about that in the moment. He'd been so concerned with the actual recording Rand had left him, wanting to know what the man had said to him. He'd felt justified at the time for asking and being angry with Cloud for his friend trying to withhold that information. He felt now that it had been a really selfish reaction, trying to force Cloud to tell him. He'd been so focused on wanting to blame Rand for Cloud's actions of self-harm on that one night, he missed the bigger issue that Cloud had hinted at, that he'd been living each day just one bad or stressful thing away from 'going over the edge.'

A notification went off on Johnny's phone then that he checked immediately. He got up and told Zack and Reno he'd be back in a moment before heading out the door and downstairs to the ground floor. When he returned a minute later he had two pizza boxes in his hands.

"Rayna must have ordered them sometime before she left," he told Zack and Reno when he headed toward the kitchen.

"Free food for us?" Reno exclaimed happily, breaking the heavy tension that had been building in the room. "Hell yeah! Is she sick or something? Why's she being so nice lately?" He jumped up, but before he could go for a slice of the hot food, his phone rang. He seemed surprised to see who was calling when he looked at it but happy as well. "Hey boss-man," he answered.

Zack was pretty sure it was Tseng calling him, based on his greeting. It wasn't a surprise he was calling, as the man had said he would be doing just that. With Reno standing away and busy on the phone and Johnny occupied momentarily in the kitchen, Zack took the opportunity to step away on his own into the bathroom. He'd only had three quarters of a beer and one shot and he was feeling it fast. In the bathroom he splashed a little bit of cool water on his face before taking a moment to try and call Aerith. She picked up after a few rings.

"Hey, you made it to Johnny's alright?" she asked and he confirmed. "Is Reno there?" was her next question and he told her he was. He also told her that he'd spoken with Tseng to inquire about Cloud and relayed what Tseng had said. He left out the part where he'd essentially accused Shinra of a cover-up and insinuated Tseng might know about it.

"How's Tifa doing?" he asked and Aerith inhaled deeply before answering.

"She's staying mostly positive on the outside," she told him.

"On the outside?" he repeated her words. "But that's not how she actually feels?" With his head lowered a little and his eyes closed he asked, "She thinks this is it, doesn't she? She thinks he went in the harbour with his bike."

"I think she's having a hard time not imagining that's what happened," Aerith explained softly. "I think she feels it's the only reason why he wouldn't be responding to Marlene."

Zack's felt his tears building beneath his eyelids. He could see how Tifa would look at the situation that way. Given the bond Cloud had formed with Marlene and how much he cared about her, it was the logical conclusion to draw because it didn't seem possible Cloud would choose not to respond to her, obviously knowing it would hurt Marlene. But Zack recalled how Cloud had spoken about Marlene when they last talked and he'd said he wasn't going to be coming back to Midgar. 'One day she'd realize I'm nothing like she thinks.' Those had been Cloud's words.

"What do you think?" he asked her, desperate to know what she felt.

She'd always had an intuition about people. More than that, he knew she could go so far as to prove whether a person was in the lifestream or not, but it was dangerous. He'd never ask her to try that, even if she'd done so before when unsure about where Cloud was.

There was a long pause from Aerith before she answered. "I don't know," she said slowly, sadly. "Zack, I really don't know. Since Cloud came back from Costa del Sol, after the implant removal and all of Galen's treatment…I can't explain it. It's just different."

"He's different," Zack stated quietly, interpreting that to be the reason.

"Maybe," was all she could say about it. "Are you okay?" Aerith's words entered his ear and had him wiping at his eyes after a long silence.

"Yeah, I'm just…"

"Overwhelmed?"

"Yeah," he confirmed. "And…half-drunk now actually thanks to Reno," he told her. "Don't think I've been this much of a lightweight in a long time."

"You've been through a lot the last few days," she noted. "I really don't want you travelling back home alone tonight, especially if you're—"

"Drunk?" he finished for her.

"Was going to say out of sorts," she corrected gently, "but yeah. Could you stay there the night?"

"Probably," he agreed.

"I'll text you before I go to sleep," she said. "I love you."

"I love you too," he replied. He waited to hear the sound of the call end before lowering his phone from his ear.

He took a moment to open up his text conversation to Cloud and just stared at the string of unanswered texts he'd sent.

"This isn't right, Spike," he said aloud, shaking his head as he put his phone back in his pocket. He left the bathroom to rejoin Johnny and Reno.

When he approached the couch Reno spoke up, no longer on the phone with Tseng.

"What the fuck, Fair!" he exclaimed then. "What's with getting in Tseng's face about Strife?"

Zack sighed heavily as he sat down.

"I wasn't in his face," Zack started to defend tiredly.

"Well sure as shit sounds like you were," Reno fired back. "What are you doing accusing him of being involved in Strife going missing? Do you know how much he's done for the both of you pains in the ass?"

"Yeah I do," Zack snapped back then. "You remember how the both of you and Rude treated us not that goddamn long ago?"

"Yeah, I do remember, you asshole," Reno spoke angrily as he leaned forward in his chair, halfway across the coffee table. "I also remember how I've put my ass on the line multiple times for you dipshits and done everything I can to make up for that! And so has Tseng!" he nearly shouted as he gripped the arms of the chair and looked ready to get up fast.

Johnny had been nearby in the kitchen area and came forward to put a hand on Reno's right shoulder, holding him down a little.

"Take it down a notch," he ordered Reno in a level tone.

Reno knocked Johnny's hand away but he did stay seated and lowered the volume of his voice again.

"It's fucked up that you would even think Tseng would be capable of doing anything to either of you at this point," he lectured Zack. "And Rude? I got him running around on his time off out in Junon trying to find Strife as we speak."

"I'm sorry," Zack finally responded then. "I told Tseng I was sorry, that I needed to ask if Shinra is involved in Cloud going missing. I had to, Reno. I get that Tseng and you and Rude were misled by Shinra into believing we were criminals and you treated us that way. I get you were doing a job, and I get that you have tried to make up for that. I really do. And I do appreciate what Tseng and you, and Rude, have done or are doing for the both of us," he first conveyed honestly, though he spoke mostly emotionlessly. "But Cloud and I don't get the luxury of believing we won't ever be targeted by Shinra again. Just because Rufus isn't a threat to us or our freedom right now, doesn't mean he won't ever be, I don't care how much Tseng thinks he trusts him. So, for Cloud's sake, I have to consider all possibilities."

Reno took in his explanation as he sat back in the chair beneath him.

"Fine," he said with a slight shrug. "I hope you believe though that Tseng would do what he could to stop the company if that were the case. Tseng fucking cares a lot about Strife. He's really upset about him going missing. He says he feels responsible, though I don't know why."

Zack knew why. Because he'd informed Cloud about the death of his baby boy. That was only days before Cloud's bike ended up in the harbor with Cloud now missing. He gathered though that Tseng hadn't revealed as much to Reno.

Zack exchanged a look with Johnny before he found himself suddenly telling Reno about the child Hojo had commissioned from Cloud's DNA. He didn't know if it had something to do with feeling the effects of the alcohol but in that moment it didn't seem to matter that Cloud might be upset about Reno or anyone else knowing.

Reno was shocked. He immediately made the connection to that day in the Gongaga facility that Rand had ordered him to be present when attempting to get a sample from Cloud. At the time he didn't think about what would have been done with the sample. So much of what went on in Hojo's labs didn't seem to have any merit. He had just assumed it to be one of those things.

That opened up a lot of following discussion about Hojo and things that had gone on in the labs in the past as well as speculation over what had supposedly happened to the professor, all of which was done while consuming more drinks.

It was after midnight when Reno mentioned he should get going. Zack was barely awake at that point. He was surprised at how late it was.

"You going to be fine to do the collections? They could probably wait another day," Johnny told Reno who waved off the suggestion.

"I'm good," he said as he stretched and stood himself up slowly. "You got my list?" he asked as he cracked a few of his knuckles.

"Sent to your phone," Johnny said and Reno nodded in acknowledgement before gulping down the last of his final beer.

"What are you collecting?" Zack asked from where he was slumped into the couch, holding his own bottle loosely, the bottom resting against the top of his right thigh. He'd never asked much about the work that Reno did with Johnny. He'd always just assumed it wasn't exactly legal, or really any amount of legal.

"Trading cards. What do you think? Money dude," Reno said.

"From who? Why?" was Zack's next question.

"From those who owe it for the surety of not having their knee caps broken I guess," Reno said through a laugh. He moved around the coffee table to stand in front of Zack. He looked at him expectantly.

"What?" Zack asked him.

"Sorry for shit getting so intense, and you know, for everything you've been dealing with. You wanna hug it out?" Reno asked with his arms out as if waiting.

"No, you want to get away from me?" Zack threw back.

"Fine," Reno said, dropping his arms. He looked at Johnny. "You want me to drop off here or the warehouse?"

"Here," Johnny said.

With a short nod, Reno headed for the door. "Will do!" he called over his shoulder.

Once he was out of the loft, Johnny stood up to pick up the empty bottles that Reno had left behind on the coffee table and put them on the counter in the kitchen.

"Don't take this the wrong way, Six," Zack spoke to his back. "But you think it's smart what you're doing?"

"What am I doing?" Johnny asked in a flat tone.

"I clearly have no idea, on account of it not being any of my business, but I'm guessing not all of it is legal."

"How long have you known me, Fair?" Johnny asked rhetorically. "You don't actually have to guess, do you?"

Zack smirked a little to himself. "You don't need to resort to that though," he remarked.

Johnny didn't say anything as he sat back down and poured a shot of whiskey for himself.

"Not trying to judge you," Zack claimed then. "I just…I hate the thought of something happening to you." Johnny nodded a little in understanding before drinking the shot down.

"You should get some sleep," Johnny told him and he nodded in agreement. "You want to use the spare room?" he questioned and Zack shook his head.

"The couch is fine," he said. Johnny left the room momentarily, returning with a pillow and blanket from the spare room that he handed to Zack. "Thanks, Six," he mumbled tiredly, his eyes already half-closed.

By the time Johnny had finished turning off the few lights that were on in the loft, it appeared that Zack had slipped into sleep. He went to his bedroom and sent off a few replies to some emails and text messages before finally getting into bed. It was rare that he got the opportunity for sleep earlier than dawn. It took a little time before he was able to fall asleep.

He'd only been sleeping for an hour or so when Rayna woke him up while she was getting into the bed. On the nights or mornings that they slept in his bed together, they were usually falling asleep at the same time. Already having been asleep, it startled him a little when the mattress moved and it had him lifting his head and shoulders fast in response.

"It's just me," she said quietly and he breathed out as he lay back against the pillow below him. He lifted his one arm so that she could settle herself in next to him.

"Damn," she spoke through a deep exhale.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing. I just realized I actually missed this shitty mattress while I was away," she remarked.

"How'd it go tonight?" he asked her.

"Fine," she told him through closed eyes. "How'd it go here?"

"You know," was all Johnny said about it in return.

"Yeah," she replied grimly. "I can't imagine what it'll be like if Cloud doesn't come back," she noted softly. "It doesn't feel real. I just can't imagine Zack without him in his life…he must be really breaking up inside."

Johnny didn't weigh in on it with his own thoughts. Instead he told her, "It was nice of you to get Aerith out there for him in Gongaga."

She shrugged against him a little. "It was Tifa mostly."

"It was nice of you to be there for him to help him out," he went on.

"I hate that word," she said.

"I know," he said back. "Doesn't make it mean any less though, even if you hate it."

"Right," she spoke flatly. "Johnny?" she said and he gave something of a sound of acknowledgement. "How much do you think you actually like me?" she asked.

"On a scale of what to what?" was his response after a second of silence. She propped herself up on her elbow so she could look at him through the semi-darkness.

"I'm serious," she stated. "Do you care about me?" she asked him.

"You know I do," he replied simply but there wasn't any obvious emotion behind it.

"More than you care about any of the others?" was her next question that did illicit a look of slight confusion from him.

"More?" he echoed as he reached for the pillow under him to move it so he could prop his head up against the wall.

"More than, say, Tifa?" she questioned. He sighed a little in response to the question as he did fully understand then what her line of questioning was leading to. "Is it the same?" she prodded him. "Different?"

"Different? Sure," he finally answered. "More? Do you want more?" he questioned.

The way he asked made her feel a little awkward. Clearly, that's what she was saying but it was hard for her to really admit it verbally.

"Seeing Aerith and Zack together during such an emotional time," she started to explain, looking at the space on the bed between then, "what they give to each other, how connected they are…"

She stopped and shook her head, thinking what she was trying to explain was actually pointless.

"You want what they have," he finished for her. She met his eyes then.

"I never used to care. But with shit happening like it has been, life starts to feel shorter and…lonelier."

"It's not a bad thing to want what they have," he told her. "You deserve to have what you want, Rayna."

"Well, if that's true then you're saying I deserve to have that with you," she argued.

Exhaling strongly, Johnny moved to sit himself up in the bed with Rayna doing the same. They'd discussed in the past their views on relationships and what they were willing to commit to and had been on a similar page to that point.

"It's not what you want, I promise you. Not with me," he told her. "I can't give you what you're looking for if it's more than this."

"Why not?" she challenged him.

"Not everyone's made for that kind of relationship," he conveyed what he felt was a basic fact.

"That's bullshit, Johnny. I think I used to believe that. I think it's easier to believe we aren't made that way. That we don't need or really want that kind of deeper connection to another human being, but it's a lie. It's just…fear…or that we're convinced we don't deserve that kind of love, or want to put in the work that comes with it."

"I don't think you're wrong…but I know that where people like Zack and Aerith get to with each other, it's not a place I can get to,"

"You can get there, Johnny, just not with me," she told him sadly.

He really didn't know what else to say to her right then but he didn't have a chance to try. They both heard a familiar sound coming from the shop below the loft. It was the sound of the garage door opening.

"That's the—" Rayna started to say.

"You locked up when you came in?" Johnny questioned as he pushed the covers back from himself and set his feet on the floor next to the bed. He was reaching for a handgun that was in the drawer of the side table next to him.

"I'm positive," Rayna assured him as she got out of the bed quickly and went for the bedroom door. "Someone must have—" She stopped suddenly as she opened the door. Johnny was close behind. "Oh," she said, pausing in the open doorway.

"What?" Johnny asked as he looked over her shoulder from behind her to see the empty couch where Zack had been sleeping.

"He can't really be this stupid can he?" she questioned aloud

"Wait here, I'll handle it," he said as he nudged her to the side to let him get by and passed her the gun in his hand.

"Don't do something equally as stupid to stop him!" she called after Johnny, but he was already out the door, heading without a shirt or shoes down to the ground floor.

Johnny could hear the engine on the van running as he was headed down to the garage and shop area. Fortunately, the gear shift had a sticking problem and was difficult to operate if not familiar with driving the vehicle. As he thew open the shop door and entered the garage he could see the driver's side window was down and Zack was inside, still jiggling the gear shift around.

"Zack!" Johnny called. "Out! You don't want to do this."

Zack ignored him and finally was able to unstick the shift. Johnny quickly put himself in front of the vehicle, before Zack could let his foot up off the brake.

"Put it in park and shut it off!" Johnny ordered him from where he stood in front of the van.

"Move or I'll make you," Zack called back through the open window next to him.

"Nice," Johnny threw back at him. "Get out of my van, Zack," he ordered once more, the threat doing nothing to sway him. When Zack still didn't comply though he slammed his one hand down on the hood angrily.

"I'm not playing! Shut it off and get out of my van now!"

After a momentary stare down, Zack gave in, put the vehicle in park and shut it off. Looking the most angry Zack had probably seen him, Johnny approached the driver's side door and open window.

"Give me the fucking keys," he demanded and without a word Zack pulled them from the ignition and handed them to Johnny through the open window. "If you're looking to get somewhere fast, you should have jacked the bike," Johnny remarked sharply, referencing the motorcycle nearby.

"If I knew where the key was I would have," Zack snapped back. "My hot-wiring skills are rusty." With that, he rested his head back against the seat, exhaling with defeat.

Johnny exhaled deeply as well as he rested his one arm on the door and looked at Zack.

"You alright?" he asked and Zack shook his head slowly. "It's not the way, you know it," he stated.

"I just thought I'd drive around—" Zack tried to claim and Johnny cut him off.

"Save it. Even if that were true, you get pulled over after drinking while on parole and you're back inside," he pointed out what they both knew, Zack had nothing to say to that. It's not like he could argue. "Aerith just came back for you. It'd be stupid to get yourself locked up now."

"I know, Six!" Zack shot back at him louder than he meant to. He leaned forward and rested his arms and forehead on the steering wheel. He shut his eyes and released a long groan of frustration. "I can't take this. I can't just sit here and do nothing and just wait for the news I guess we're all supposed to expect, Cloud's body washing up somewhere. Maybe that's okay for you, but it's not okay for me."

"You think that's what I'm doing?"

"Am I wrong? You mean you don't think that's what happened to him? That it isn't exactly what it looks like?"

"Yeah. You're wrong,"

"Oh, so you do think he's alive, but that he's really just said to hell with all of us. Everyone thinks he's dead. Brand new life, never look back, easy breezy right?"

"Hm, okay," Johnny muttered a bit under his breath, turning away from the van window as if he was going leave the shop.

"Six, I'm sorry," Zack told him quickly. "I wasn't trying to…Nothing about your life has been easy," he acknowledged.

"Oh, so you were talking about me," Johnny said as he faced him again.

"I'm sorry," Zack spoke through a sigh. He shut his eyes and shook his head before looking at Johnny again. "What happened to him? I mean, what do you think happened? Do you think he's just avoiding us, me, trying to start over the only way he thinks he can? If that's how it is…it's still better than the alternative. At least it means he's still alive out there somewhere."

Johnny exhaled strongly before answering. "I don't know. Anything is possible. It doesn't matter what I think. Doesn't matter what anyone thinks. All that matters for you is what you think, or what you feel. You're the closest to him."

Zack stared ahead out the windshield. "I guess I was…I don't know anymore."

"Come on, you think it really matters that you weren't on the best terms last you spoke?" Johnny challenged. "After everything? Nothing either of you said to each other re-writes your history or erases the shit you went through together. Nothing breaks that connection."

"I guess not," Zack agreed.

"You think he's still out there alive somewhere?" Johnny asked and he nodded slowly.

"I do but…"

"But?"

He shrugged lightly. "Maybe I just want him to be…I feel like I should just know. How could I not feel for sure one way or another? I don't want to believe he would just end it all. What if he did?"

"You know, it may not be like that," Johnny told him. "It is possible he might have had an accident."

Zack shook his head to that. "It wouldn't be fair, after everything he survived. I'd almost rather he did take…" He couldn't finish the thought out loud.

"You want my honest opinion?" Johnny asked after a second of silence.

"Yes," he confirmed.

"Don't torture yourself with the what if's right now. It doesn't make you naïve if you hope for or believe in the best outcome."

"Don't torture myself? Well, it's torture enough, Six, not knowing what to do other than sit and worry. The only thing I can think to do is go out there and search for him and I can't."

"I know, but Rude's doing that," Johnny reminded him what Reno had said.

"It's not the same," Zack argued. "And I don't trust him, not like I'd trust Tifa, or you."

"Look, if you want me to go out there and look for him right now, I will. I'll go tonight," Johnny advised.

"You can't," Zack said.

"Yes, I can."

"You've got your businesses to run," Zack pointed out.

"And people to take the reins when needed."

Zack looked at him straight, noted that he was being serious. "You'd drive out to Junon tonight?"

"Yes," Johnny said.

"You'd just be wandering around though…"

"Pretty much," Johnny agreed with a short nod. "But if it helps you knowing someone you trust is there right now looking, then…"

Zack considered it. He wanted to say yes, but it wasn't the most logical thing to be doing in trying to find Cloud, he knew that. He knew that finding him if he actually was still alive and not somewhere in the water would take more than just wandering the streets of Junon.

"That's okay, Six, I appreciate it," he told him softly with his eyes cast downward.

"Look, I'm working on figuring out some kind of lead, something to help narrow the search in the instance it's not what the police think. I just need some time," Johnny informed him.

"You'll come up with something, right?" Zack spoke hopefully as he looked at him.

"Gonna try," Johnny confirmed. He grasped the handle of the van door then and opened it. "If I could get some shut-eye it might help."

"Sorry," Zack said as he got himself out of the van. As they were leaving the garage he added. "I wouldn't have really run you over, you know."

Johnny scoffed a little as he hit the button on the wall to shut the garage door.

"Comforting."