Summary: After being killed on his 8th birthday, Naruto gains a bloodline that makes him a computer glitch with his unique abilities. He now lives to have fun and make friends, and hopefully keep them forever. Listen as Naruto, Kyuubi, Minato, and many others are loaded into the digital experience.
Chapter 2:
(Two years later)
Hiruzen was having a headache.
(Flashback (2 years ago))
After unwillingly sharing the news of Naruto's new powers with the council, they immediately began calling for Naruto's death.
"THE DEMON IS TOO POWERFUL!" Screeched Mebuki Haruno.
"HE NEEDS TO BE CONTAINED!" Yelled Fugaku Uchiha.
"You should have given the boy to me Hiruzen!" Stated Danzo Shimura in an "I told you so" tone.
"SILENCE!" Hiruzen exclaimed, getting everyone to quiet down.
Hiruzen took a moment to breathe, his heart and mind were still strained from viewing Naruto's life… something that should be ranked a Z+ class Demonically forbidden Jutsu that should never be written in any scroll.
"As it was clearly stated by Naruto himself, Kyuubi was killed due to his death and rebirth… these powers are clearly a bloodline he awakened-" he didn't get to finish.
"What bloodline?! As we know, the brat has no parents!" Argued Fugaku.
"And… forgive me, Hokage-Sama, but how do we know if we can trust the child's words-" spoke up Inoichi, only for Hiruzen to give him a K-I-induced stink-eye.
"(Stuttering) uh… I mean… he is just a boy and only recently learned of the Kyuubi being inside of him… it's possible that he just never saw it… I mean, we have no proof-"
"You do now."
Everyone was shocked to see Naruto materialize in the council chambers right beside Hiruzen.
"(Gasps) It's the Demon!" Random civilian counselor #5 called out.
"(Mocking): (gasps) It's the whale! Your point?" Naruto then walked farther out to be seen.
He stood before the council of Konoha, consisting of the clan heads (Akimichi, Yamanaka, Aburame, Nara, Uchiha, Sarutobi, Hyuuga, Inuzuka, and Kurama clan), top civilians, the Hokage's assistants and advisors (Homura, Koharu, and Danzo), and the old man himself.
"Naruto, I-" Hiruzen started.
"First off, don't expect to see me more often around the village…"
"Show us and the Hokage some respect You-"
"Second off, I only answer to old man Hokage and none of you NPCs…"
"You damn demo-"
(BANG!)
random civilian counselor #3 was cut off by the sound of gunfire as Naruto was holding a Remington Shotgun and shot the man's brains out all over the wall.
Everyone gasped.
"And lastly! Me and the Old Man don't have to take any of your shit!"
"Naruto!" Hiruzen yelled in a commanding tone.
"Old Man!" Naruto yelled in the same tone, but his demeanor took a whole 180 as he was smiling like a menace.
No one spoke for a few seconds…
"Next time, wait for me to give the order…" Hiruzen ordered the blonde, shocking everyone.
"Aye-aye! Capt'n!" Shouted Naruto who did a mock salute.
"Hokage-Sama?! How could you let this De-" spoke up Koharu, only for Naruto to cock and aim his shotgun at her.
"…this boy… do that to a proud civilian of Konoha!" She finished.
"Because Koharu…" killer intent crashed down upon everyone in the chamber except for a select few.
"-This village has utterly tormented a child since the start of his life to the point that being tortured for information by enemy shinobi would be comparable to a slap on the wrist!" Hiruzen would have continued on his tirade if Naruto hadn't given him a look that shouted: "They're mine!"
Hiruzen then lowered the killing intent and looked at Naruto.
"My boy… the weapon in your hands?" He questioned the blonde.
"Made it," Naruto replied.
"Do you expect us to believe such drivel, boy?" Hiashi Hyuuga chided.
"Uh… Yeah?" The shotgun then dissipated into pixels and shifted colors as they returned to Naruto's body.
Danzo, seeing this power, quickly stood up.
"I request that Uzumaki Naruto be put into the CRA Act! His bloodline seems to be quite formidable and-" Danzo demanded, only for Naruto to appear right in his face with an expressionless face as his killer intent could be felt throughout the council and further beyond.
"Never… Call me… by that bitch's last name ever again… My name is not Naruto Uzumaki… it is just Naruto and Naruto alone…"
Danzo then sat back down but did not turn his stern gaze from the boy.
"What even is the CRA act anyway?" Naruto asked, noting how they were getting off-topic.
"The Clan Restoration Act: a law used for when a clan(s) loses too many members and a male of the clan or the last member must take on several suitors and have children with them to revive their clan's numbers," Hiruzen informed the blonde.
"..." Naruto looked at Hiruzen with a blank face.
"Yeah… Ffffffawck no." Naruto answered, causing many to fall over, get enraged, or laugh.
"And before any of you try to get mad, listen for once in your lives and use your brains." Naruto said as Homura and Danzo were about to go on a tirade.
"1. Since barely any of you believe that Kyuubi is dead, why would anyone else in this village think so? If possible, any female would use that chance to slit my throat in bed.
2. No one even likes me, and I doubt this would change anything, I know that even if somehow one person agrees to it, they would try to kill me. And they would die in a heartbeat before they laid a hand on me.
And 3. You bastards killed and destroyed my body… or at least my old body, so since my new body is not the same and like this (gestures to himself), I probably don't have genitals or I'm probably sterile." Naruto finished with an accurate deduction.
"Stop lying you demon brat and be of some use to Konoha!" Fugaku shouted, not really wanting the Kyuubi to have a clan, but hoping to get a spy to infiltrate his home and then take everything after killing the fox.
'Back on topic.' thought Hiruzen and Naruto.
"Finally! This was taking forever! And for Fuck's sake, I'm not the fox!" Naruto then lifted his tank top for everyone to see and they bore witness to the gaping wound in his abdomen where the Kyuubi's seal used to be.
"See! The seal is literally not there! The fox died!" Naruto exclaimed.
"Naruto! When did this happen?" Hiruzen asked in worry, not seeing the hole the last time they met.
"As soon as I was reborn." Naruto then turned to the rest of the council. "Like I said: Hope you're all fucking happy! Cause you all got your wish!" Naruto then let his tank top fall.
"Then this means we do not have a weapon for the village!" Danzo spoke up in outrage.
'Turn to me and I swear to god…'
'Turn to me or my grandson and I swear to Kami…'
'Turn to my son and you'll be praying to god…' (Minato is here too)
Danzo turned his angered gaze to the civilians and Fugaku.
'Smart man.' all three thought.
"You all are utter fools!" he yelled to the weak-minded.
"Buh-but the Demon-" random civilian councilor #2 began.
"It doesn't matter! We now need a weapon for the village." Danzo interrupted.
"Well… I'm off, later!" Naruto then dematerialized as he probably left for the Namikaze Estate.
(Sometime later)
After dismissing the council, Hiruzen was back in his office… doing paperwork…
'You know… doing paperwork honestly isn't that bad now…' thought Hiruzen.
(Present time)
Nothing really changed.
But then he noticed a note on the side of his desk and picked it up.
"(Reading) Old Man! Come meet me at the N-Kaze Estate soon, we need to talk privately." It seemed Naruto was able to cool off, though Hiruzen did give him a lot of time… Hiruzen hoped this wouldn't give him a headache.
The meeting concluded that Konoha would be making a treaty and pact with Takigakure, the village hidden in the waterfall. With this, the village would send their jinchuuriki, Fu, to Konoha in return for protection.
Apparently, they have been treating Fu just as terribly as Konoha treated Naruto, though they couldn't compare to this cesspool of a village.
She will arrive soon, around two days from now.
Lately, Konoha's citizens have been experiencing a multitude of pranks that went even to the extreme.
Just the other day, the Hokage monument had been painted with silly pictures.
The Shodaime's face had little trees on it, the Nidaime's face had water droplets that made him look like he was crying, his own face on the monument was painted to look like a monkey, and Yondaime's had… whisker marks on his.
And then the store owner who owned the paint had his shop covered with paint inside and out. The man himself was covered in paint, but it looked like he was attacked by paintballs. Hiruzen didn't have his ANBU investigate any further in the matter as the man was one of the people who harmed Naruto the wrong way and it was just paint.
Sighing, Hiruzen got up from his chair and told his secretary to hold any meetings visits for a while. He was going to visit his surrogate grandson.
With the use of Shunshin, he flashed out of his office to a safe distance outside the Namikaze Estate. He walked up to the gate and called out for Naruto to open the gates for him.
"Naruto-Kun! It's me! Hiruzen! May you please open the gates?" A couple of minutes passed.
The gates began to slowly open as Hiruzen walked in.
He walked up to the door and knocked in case it was locked.
After hearing a clicking noise, the door opened, but it was not Naruto who opened it.
"(yawn) Morning ya old geezer."
The person who opened the door was a female in her late teens with pale skin. Long, red, messy hair with red fox ears on top. Standing about 5 foot, 9 inches, D-cup breasts hidden only under a red tank top. A slender body with toned muscles and abs, a round rear with wide hips, and dark-purple pajama pants. She wasn't wearing any shoes as we can see her sharp, black nails.
But what really caught Hiruzen's eye was her body, not how sexy it looked, but how it had a similar effect as Naruto's. She was slightly transparent, and on her arms wasn't normal skin, but what a television would look like when it was broken: static.
But then Hiruzen went back to two features that had him alarmed: red and fox ears.
"Yo! Karumi! Old Man! Get in!" Naruto shouted from the living room.
The girl, Karumi, then rolled her eyes as she waited for the Hokage to enter as she moved aside.
Hesitantly, Hiruzen stepped inside. He watched as the gate closed and Karumi closed and locked the door.
"If you need anything, then ask him… I'm goin' tah bed." Karumi then jumped and belly-flopped onto the couch as she fell asleep in seconds.
Hiruzen then turned his gaze to Naruto to see the boy moving around in an empty area of the room in some weird gestures.
On his head was some type of headset that was strapped to Naruto's head and completely covered Naruto's eyes and had no eye holes.
In each of Naruto's hands were two controllers, one that glowed blue and the other glowed red.
Naruto was making movements that made him look like he was dodging very fast and small objects while slashing at something or several somethings with the glowing controllers.
Author's note: (If you haven't guessed yet, it's Beat Saber, but with a twist.)
"Naruto-kun, how have you been?" Hiruzen started, keeping his gaze on the sleeping vixen.
"Been- (huff!) -fun… (ducks) -you?" Naruto said as he crouched down while slashing at something above himself.
"I can't say that I have been having the best days ever since you've isolated yourself in your father's estate." Hiruzen admitted that sometimes he hoped to just have a heart attack and wake up in the afterlife with how the people of Konoha have been acting.
"Hold on!… (rapidly chops the air) …aaaaaaand…"
[Song end! A new high score!]
"YES! HA HA! Take that sis! Told you I could beat you in Megalovania Reality Check!" Naruto exclaimed to Karumi who just flipped him off as she was too tired to do anything else.
Naruto then took off his VR headset as Hiruzen got a full view of the right side of Naruto's face… if you could even call it that.
The thin white pixels then appeared back over his face to cover up the permanent scar and remains of his previous body.
"What's up, Old Man?" Naruto asked calmly.
"Naruto, I believe that we should talk somewhere more… (looks to Karumi) -private…" Hiruzen requested.
"Is it because of Karumi?" Naruto asked with an expressionless face.
"(Muffled by a couch pillow) I could still hear you even if you were 100 meters away." Karumi stated.
"She's Kyuubi, isn't she?" Hiruzen asked.
"Yep." Naruto then waited for the Old Man's reaction.
Hiruzen then performed the Fish-Out-of-Water No Jutsu.
"Ha… How?" He asked.
"It's a long story… not really." Naruto sat down on the fluffy blue bean bag in the center of the living room. Hiruzen decided to go sit on the couch closest to Naruto as the boy turned on the Television.
"Apparently, after my rebirth, I destroyed the Shinigami's seal. Now naturally, you would think Karumi would take the chance to escape… she didn't and couldn't."
Hiruzen was intrigued. "How so?"
"Well, she didn't have any of her chakra, so she was weaker than a newborn kitten at that point and the seal was meant to drain her of her chakra so… you can pretty much guess what it took instead." Naruto then gestures to Karumi as she unconsciously points to herself.
"Her kitsune form?" Hiruzen theorized.
"Yep! And she didn't want to leave anyway 'cause she would have to deal with the village's bullshit… and to be honest… we kinda grew on each other to the point we gained a brother-sister relationship." Naruto admitted as Hiruzen sympathized with the boy.
"The bond was strong enough that somehow, she gained my bloodline and was reborn too." Naruto finished as Hiruzen was shocked by this.
"(Muffled) I wouldn't call it rebirth… but whatever… (ZZZZ…)"
Hiruzen then looked at Naruto with a knowing look.
"So, my boy, have you heard of any paint-related pranks recently?"
"HaHa! OOOOH!… You got me. Me and Karumi did that." Naruto was shaking from restraining the laughs he wanted to come out but wanted his sister to rest.
"So, how did you do it?" Hiruzen asked.
"Call it a form of training…" Naruto then lets some pixels from his body break off as they multiply and morph into a small toy gun.
"…this is a paintball gun by the way…" he grabs a bucket of paint from nowhere and loads the ammo into the paintball gun.
He aims at a wall, unknowingly the wall Minato has been standing by for a while, and shoots a few rounds. As expected by the spectral anomaly, they all went through him and onto the wall.
"Impressive… Do you think you can explain any of these abilities of your bloodline?" Hiruzen inquired.
"To be honest… no." Naruto got into a more comfortable posture as he began to explain.
"My bloodline is impossible to explain as… it doesn't really exist-" Hiruzen was about to speak up when Naruto raised his hands.
"-I mean, it's like my abilities and how they work are here on a piece of paper, three seconds later, it's like the paper and pen never made contact. And even when I try to explain it to Karumi, she can't understand it until she can do it herself."
"(Dreary) It's as if he doesn't even speak English when it happens." Karumi piped in.
"English?" Hiruzen asked.
Both Karumi and Naruto: "OH FUCK! WE FORGOT!"
"Old man, the main thing you need to know is that these powers are practically futuristic, so it would be quite hard to understand." Naruto explained.
"How far in the future could this be?" Hiruzen asked.
"Currently? 2024, and from there to our time period… we're like 4000 years away from that." Karumi stated.
"You better not do that face thing again old man!" Naruto warned.
Hiruzen stopped the mental hand signs just in time.
"I see, that would be very… trivial to comprehend." Hiruzen admitted.
"It's fine…" Naruto then had a serious look.
"How are things in the village?"
Hiruzen winced as he gazed at his surrogate grandson.
"Bad news or good news?"
"Surprise me."
With a heavy sigh, "Kushina and the two Sannin are returning with your biological siblings on the day of Academy graduations, and Kakashi got off Tora duty thanks to the council."
"FUCK!"
"SHIT!"
(THUD! x2)
"Almost all of the Uchiha clan was wiped out-"
"Finally some good news!" Karumi spoke as Naruto seemed happy by this.
"-including Mikoto Uchiha…" Hiruzen finished.
Naruto got up and purposefully leaned and fell on his face hard as Karumi slumped.
"I regret what I said." Karumi and Naruto had become depressed. Mikoto Uchiha was like a surrogate mother to Naruto, always helping him out through the pain… and now she's gone.
"The Ichiraku's has closed after you left and won't reopen until you return."
"I don't see that as bad news, I didn't really like ramen, but those two were the best." Naruto said fondly.
"And we are getting a new jinchuriki in two days…"
"Wait! Which tailed beast?" Karumi asked.
"The Nanabi." Hiruzen answered.
"Oh thank god it's Chomei, I did not want to deal with Shukaku's crazy ass." Karumi wiped fake sweat off her head.
"That's the name of the seven tails since the only tailed beast who has its name revealed was Shukaku." Naruto informed his surrogate grandfather.
"Right." Hiruzen then straightened up as he just remembered.
"Naruto… What is today?"
Naruto points to the calendar and Hiruzen's blood froze.
"What's happened now you old monkey?" Said Minato, but no one heard him.
"Those mother-" "Old man?"
"Someone tampered with my calendar! Fu is meant to arrive today!" Naruto and Karumi quickly got the message. Naruto grabbed Hiruzen's arm while Karumi grabbed his hand.
"Can you pinpoint Chomei's presence?" Naruto asks Karumi.
"Yes, and it's frantic." Karumi then sent the coordinates to Naruto as he looked at Hiruzen.
"Hold your breath!"
Not a few seconds later, the three are drafted to a dark undergrowth.
Hiruzen tried to speak but found he couldn't.
'This is one of my abilities that I can explain. Welcome to my code.' Hiruzen then turned to Naruto as he heard his voice in his head.
'I can create domains, and when in these, I'm practically the strongest…' A bright light opened up as they were nearing the end and their stop.
As they went into the light, they appeared back in the Elemental Nations in a Konoha alleyway.
Hiruzen had to take a moment as he was out of breath.
"Naruto! That-"
He was cut off from the audacity of the civilians and shinobi once more.
At the end of the alleyway, a young, dark-skinned girl with minty green hair was harassed by the populist as somehow, they had gotten wind of Fu's jinchuriki status.
"What's wrong, demon bitch!?" One yelled.
"We ain't too privy of your kind in this village!"
"Now we're going to show you what happens to monsters like you." Yelled a random Chunin.
"Just get it over with." Said the young girl as she was no stranger to this treatment.
Suddenly, everyone started to feel a heavy dose of KI as they turned to see not-so residential blonde, Naruto.
Hiruzen didn't want Naruto to kill them since he just got out of isolation, but Karumi held her hand out to stop him.
"Let him have this." Said Karumi.
Hiruzen watched on as Naruto walked ever so slowly to the mob.
"Look! It's the demon brat!" A villager said.
The young girl was shocked when the drunk bastard said that. 'Is he like me?'
The villagers began to surround Naruto. They didn't even care that the Hokage or girl with fox features was there.
The mob began to chant about being able to finish what the Fourth Hokage started.
A Chunin attacked Naruto with a katana with a sloppy stance, only for Naruto to grab it by the blade.
Naruto then raised his head, and his sclera had turned black, and his irises turned red, blood red, literally blood.
["downloading Naruto. E-X-E… 91%… 96%."]
A Hyuuga prepared to use the Jyuken fighting style, only for Naruto to dematerialize from his range.
["100%"]
Naruto began to start floating and his head turned 180 degrees as he looked at the villagers.
"KILL THE DEMON!" The mob yelled.
One blindly ran at the boy, only for Naruto's hand to burst out of her chest.
"Rule one: melee attacks don't work and using them will result in death…"
Two genin began to throw kunai at him, only for them to levitate up instead of forward.
"Rule two: completely physical projectiles such as weapons no longer are affected by gravity, and the effects are immediate…"
A Jounin then performed the hand signs for a fireball jutsu, only for the Jutsu to not work.
"Rule three: The only elemental Ninjutsu that works here are lightning style Jutsu…"
A rookie ANBU then performed a lightning jutsu she learned from a mission. It hit Naruto, but it only destroyed his hoodie and got dust on him.
"And this isn't even a rule: lightning-style attacks in general DON'T fucking hurt me! DOMAIN!"
The domain was set with its rules, and the villagers attacked blindly again, only for several hands that came from nowhere to pierce through their chests.
"Weak… and stupid…"
His eyes began to bleed blood from his visible eye, but you could see blood leaking from his right cheek.
The Chunin and Genin threw more kunai and shuriken, only for them to fly to the sky.
A Jounin then appeared behind Naruto and with his tanto, slashed Naruto in half.
The people were cheering, the young girl was mortified, and Hiruzen was about to kill the mob members, but Karumi told him to look again.
Hiruzen did and saw that the top half of Naruto's body was still floating, and no blood was leaking from his body.
The lower half began to break apart and reform from the base, it looked like Naruto was never slashed in half.
"Wanna try again? I'll give you a better angle." Naruto lifted his neck for a clean cut.
The Jounin took it, and Naruto's head was sliced off, but it didn't fall to the ground. It was floating in the air and Naruto was grinning sadistically.
Again, there was no blood, except for the blood that came from the Jounin's groin as Naruto's body kicked it hard and a hidden blade came from inside his fox sneaker. (Insta-death)
"What is this?" Hiruzen spoke open-mindedly to the fight… er… slaughter, um… game?
"Remember when we said we couldn't explain some of our abilities because you wouldn't understand due to us unconsciously speaking in a different language?" Karumi asked.
"I see, this is some of many of these abilities." Hiruzen guessed.
"Yep! The only thing I can here is him talking in reverse."
Naruto then walked to the young girl as the ninjas attacked him, only for the wounds not to register, his body to reform body parts, and for them to die by using melee attacks.
He de-transformed back to base and walked up to Fu.
Naruto looked her in the eyes as she looked into his one, bloody eye.
Naruto lent a hand to her to help her get up as only the Jounin and ANBU were left, and they were too scared to attack.
"You okay?" Naruto asked.
"Yuh… yeah." The girl said, still in awe.
"You're Fu, the seven tails jinchuriki, right?"
'Great, now he's going to end up like th-'
"Wanna be friends?"
Fu was stunned beyond all belief; these words were what she had wanted to hear for so long…
She didn't know if she could trust him, she didn't want to trust him… but that eye, while it was scary, it was like her own… full of sorrow and pain.
"I… I…" Fu stammered.
"Kill the demons!" A Jounin yelled as the remaining idiots regained their composure.
"Old man!?" Naruto asked as he was bored of playing with the ninjas.
Hiruzen snapped his fingers as his personal ANBU guards appeared and slashed the fools' heads off.
Naruto then looked at Fu and… felt nervous…
"I think it would be better if we all went somewhere more private." Naruto recommended it to everyone as his eyes turned back to normal. But Karumi took advantage of how he worded it.
"Oooh?! Does my lil' brother have a crush on someone?" Karumi teased.
DUN!
Naruto blue screened.
"At least he put his head back on before that."
I was prepared for this, and it's just gonna keep coming.
Let me cook.
