Derek woke up to cheerful giggles coming from the bathroom. Addison and Josie surely were up and about. He headed for the kitchen to turn on the coffee machine, then returned to find the mother and daughter in front of the bathroom sink, clearly amused by something. Addison was combing Josie's damp hair while their minor was dabbing her cheeks using Addison's velvety moisturizer.
«Morning» He greeted them both, pressing a kiss onto Josie's forehead. «what are you two up to? And what's so funny?»
«It's the annual meeting in the mother-daughter club. Strictly confidential» Addison informed, acting dead serious.
«We can't tell» Josie agreed, then held out her bandaged arm for him to see, unaware of his presence past her sleep the previous night, «daddy, look. I got stitches»
«I know» He inspected it before dropping a kiss on said arm, «I heard you did great with mommy and Miranda. I'm so proud of you baby»
«Baby?» The mother and daughter grimaced in unison, the four year old not particularly impressed with the term of endearment.
«You said it yourself last night»
«Not to her face. Derek, come on. She's four»
«I'm four» Josie echoed, reaching into the cosmetic jar for some more of Addison's pricey goods. Getting her hands covered with the lotion she turned to her father and placed her palms right at his cheeks, smearing his face with the perfumed stuff, knowing he wasn't very fond of the brand.
«Ouch» Addison gritted her teeth, «must've hurt. Right back at ya, daddy»
«Eww» He tried to dab the excess back onto their skin. «you do realize this is the lousiest way one can spend a hundred dollars?»
«It smells good»
«It smells Bizzy»
«It does not. Why are you harassing our meeting anyways? Why don't you get me some coffee?»
«And me some juice» Josie chimed in innocently.
Derek eyed the feisty yet delightful mother and daughter incredulously. «Bossy»
«You need bossy» Addison stated while struggling to comb through another one of Josie's locks, «Jo, that is one huge tangle. How'd you get that?»
Her daughter shrugged, unbeknownst of it. Derek reached into his bathroom shelf and gathered his range of hair products.
«Tell you what» He warned with a grin as he flipped off the lid of one of his many hair mousse bottles, holding it alarmingly close to Addison's head at first, then Josephine's. «you keep bossing me around, I'll let you try some of mine. I'm sure it works great on tangled heads and redheads »
Addison jumped up, involuntarily letting out a girly cry. She knew she was being silly but there was no way she would have her husbands musky products contaminating her freshly styled hair.
«Silly mommy» Josie couldn't strain her giggles as she watched her mother foolishly fighting against her father and his hair products.
«Silly mommy?» She gawked, stunned. «just cause of that» she warned playfully, watching Derek sneak up upon her daughter, «you're on your own, my child. Mommy won't help you out this time»
A few hours, and showers later, Addison and Josie entered the surgical wing, hand in hand. Derek had gone in ahead of them to transfer a few salient patient files to a senior resident and to check up on his most recent post-ops. Other than that, he was free throughout the day.
«I want to see baby turtles» Josie chatted excitedly, more than ready for todays excursion. «you think they have baby turtles?»
«I know they have the full sized turtles-«
«Hey» Derek ran up in front of them, sporting his attending scrubs. «I'll have one more discharge and then I'm gonna go change and we're gonna be on our way»
«You're wearing scrubs? You weren't supposed to go into surgery»
«Well, since I was already there.. Simple procedure, cookie craniotomy, no complications whatsoever. Took me an hour»
«Daddy, do you think they have baby turtles?» Josie looked up at her father curiously.
«Good question» He pinched her nose, «let's find out»
«I like turtles» She stated, like it wasn't clear as day already. Her parents smirked at each other, then threw a look at her prominent hair tie that had a very green turtle plush attached to it. The little girl was usually fine with her mom dressing her in classy outfits like collared blouses and preppy coats when she was not out and about in the wilderness with her flannel wearing woodchopping fisherman father, but she insisted on having the last word when it came to jolly accessories.
«We know»
Derek took her left hand in his while Addison held the other, letting Josie skip eagerly in the middle of them. He was guiding them towards the attending's lounge, having them sit down for a few minutes while he filled in his recent post-op notes and changed into his leisure attire.
Just then, the very familiar but nevertheless intimidating sound of his pager, cried for his attention. The look that was about to form on Addison's face at the very moment was completely and utterly…unanalysable.
«You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding. Me.»
«It's just a consult» He looked at her, relieved, «it'll take an hour, tops. Nelson's here, Ramsey's here. I'm not staying. Just a consult.»
«She doesn't know the difference» Addison tried to gesture, failing at it.
«I'll meet you outside the aquarium. We're doing this. The chief knows I'm off, he has two attending neurosurgeons on call and an entire senior resident team, I will meet you there »
«And yet your pager comes off just like that» Addison did her best to keep her cool but it was hard.
Derek decided it was best to do the parting more abrupt this time. Maybe she wouldn't even get the chance to react before he was back with them.
«Hey my little turtle princess» He bent down to give her a very swift kiss on the cheek, «one more checkup coming daddy's way so I'll check my patient and be quick and then come and meet you at the aquarium»
And just like that, before she could blink, he was about to round the corner and disappear from her sight.
Addison's anger grew. Okay, she got him to a certain point. Why linger if he was in fact, going to show up in an hour. An hour went by fast. An hour wasn't a big deal. Not to her. Not to him. To her darling daughter who had endured several weeks of abandonment by her father…an hour was forever.
«Daddy! Come back!» She yelled hysterically between sobs, «daddy!»
Addison saw her precious girl shake as she desperately screamed for her father while being locked up in her little, fighting body gave her quite the resistance.
«Sweetie…» Addison cooed, «daddy will be back before you know…»
«Don't leave me!»
«Daddyyyyyy!»
«Addison»
«Addison»
«Addison!»
She'd let herself get caught up in her own thoughts for a moment, and it was Miranda Bailey who pulled her from her light trance. The general surgeon resident was kneeling in front of Josie who had tears running in even floods down her cheeks .Her breath was alarmingly rapid before it too suddenly shifted and fell wheezy and worn out.
Being so close to her, she could tell something was off.
«Everything looks good» The pediatrician wrapped the stethoscope around his neck, just finished examining the little patient.
«you've got super healthy, strong lungs Josie. And your heart is beating like a clock. No asthma, or any pulmonary infection nowhere in sight.» Doctor Miller handed her a special little patient prize, a miniature teddy bear dressed in colorful scrubs, receiving a happy thank you from the young girl.
«So, what you're saying» Addison stood beside her bedside, petting Josie's hair carefully. «it's a panic attack.»
«No, I don't want you to worry about that. This was likely a sole hyperventilating episode. You were there, you managed to keep her save, she quickly regained control of her breathing, pulse and heartbeat is perfectly fine, she's not feeling dizzy»
«And hyperventilation is basically what defines a panic attack»
«Among many other things» He reminded her, «listen, we work in the same building. I hear stuff, rumor spread faster than disease in this place. I know the last few months has been rather turbulent for the two of you. She's entitled to her own emotions. You know, talking goes a long way here. Hear her out. And if this does continue and seam to become a frequent issue, if it starts to interfere with your daily life, then we could consider the possibilities of getting a pediatric psychiatrist consult. But for now, even breaths.»
«Right» Addison picked at her fingernail while eyeing the floor. She felt stupid for having the doctor pointing it out to her that way.
«You're a brilliant doctor and you'd do anything to help your child. But I'm asking you to trust us, as medical professionals too.»
«Of course Doctor Miller, I appreciate what you say»
The pediatrician eyed the one day old bandage Josie had sticked to her arm.
«What happened to her arm?»
«She fell yesterday, from a swing. She needed sutures so I took her to the ER»
«It didn't hurt» Josie chimed in, satisfied.
«It didn't hurt?» Miller joined in, surprised, «not just a tiny bit?»
A small giggle escaped her mouth, «no»
«Well, in that case» Miller closed her patient file, «did you get a prize? I believe we have way cooler prizes up here than in the ER»
«I'd get to see turtles with mommy and daddy» She paused for a minute, «but I don't think we are anymore..»
«Of course we are, honey» Addison combed through her locks with her hand, «you still want to? You're not feeling tired are you?»
«Turtles, huh?» Miller pulled out a mysterious box, «you like turtles?»
«I love turtles»
«I like them too. Did you know that they're very social creatures? And they can live for a long time. Some of them, for over 50 years. So if you got a turtle right now, you'd have it by your side till you become a very grown up woman»
«And some live till they're a hundred years old. At then I'll be a very old woman»
«Hey, hey, hey» Addison warned the doctor, «don't get her any ideas»
Miller laughed, searching the box «Fair enough. I do think we have some turtle stuff in here…Oh, it was frogs apparently. At least I got the color right.» He offered her the squishy toy.
Josie accepted it happily. «I like frogs, too.»
«Josephine Shepherd? Room 402?»
There was a familiar buzz outside and a second later Derek entered the exam room, having managed to change into his private clothes.
«Hi» He eyed Addison and doctor Miller for a split second before his look fell on Josie. Addison could see something about him instantly softened the moment he found her. Josie's eyes fell to the floor and her shoulders tensed. Addison kept a comforting hand on her daughter.
«What happened?» Derek's voice was strangely calm.
«She had an episode of some breathing difficulties so we decided it was wise to give her a general check-up. We figured Josie got a little overwhelmed there for a second, didn't you» The doctor petted her arm, «and that's perfectly okay, it can happen every now and then»
«Panic attack?» Derek mouthed to Addison. She frowned, shaking her head.
«Alright then, I'll be outside, completing her file. Any allergies?»
«No one known» Addison followed him outside, letting Jose and Derek have a moment alone, «I assume you need my signature.»
Quietly, he joined her at the exam bed and kissed her forehead. Josie was still watching the floor and Derek let out a soft sigh. He didn't take his look off her. At last, Josie's sea blue eyes met with his.
«I'm sorry»
«What, no, sweetie» He looked at her in despair, «you shouldn't apologize. You shouldn't apologize for anything.»
«I've been bad»
«No, Josephine, that's not true» His voice went firmer and he cupped her face with his hands.
«I yell a lot» She confessed, hard on herself. «and I cry»
«You're in your right» He leaned in closer, «when…when Mommy and I fought…I yelled, too. I yelled a lot. And I cried. She..She hurt me. And because of that, I hurt you. But I shouldn't have. I'm the grown up. I'm your dad. It's my job to protect you, no matter what» He swallowed, «And I failed at it.»
«Did Mommy do something bad?»
«Er, ehm. Yes»
«What did she do?»
«She…She wasn't honest. She was my girlfriend and she did something she knew would upset me.»
«Did she kiss someone else?»
«Sort of.»
«Oh.»
Silence filled the room a moment before Josie spoke again.
«Does she have to go to jail?»
Derek gave her a loving look. «No. Mommy's not going anywhere.»
«Good. I don't want her to leave me»
«She'll never leave you. And neither am I. I'll never leave you again.»
«Are you sure?»
«Yes» Derek breathed, gathering her in his arms, «come here. I promise. You're the love of my life. The best thing that's ever happened to me. And you're hurt. And sad. You don't want me to leave. You're afraid I might not come back. And I have to go, a lot. Because of my job. But I will never leave you behind, ever again.»
Josie eyed him for a good minute, trying to make sense of it all in her young mind.
«You could find a new job.»
«A new job? Really? What job?»
«You could work on the ferryboat» She searched her head for brilliant ideas, «or a fisherman. You love to fish Daddy. Or a vet!»
«Hmm» He pretended to take her options into consideration, «you think I'd be good at it?»
«Yes!»
He was charmed by her enthusiasm for sure. He took the girl in his arms and placed her on his lap and ran a hand through her hair.
«But here's the thing. I love my job. I love you more, but I really like what I do. I get to help people, every day, and I'm pretty good at it too. I've been doing this for a long time, since way before you were born even. I don't want another job.»
Josie's face fell a little. «Oh.»
«No, Josie, listen. I'm your dad, first and foremost. I'd do anything for you. But I want to be a doctor as well.»
«I'm sad when you're leaving»
«I know. And it's okay to be sad. But I want you to do something for me»
«What's that?»
«When you get sad, I want you to tell me or Mommy. Okay?»
«Okay»
«Mommy and I have to work out some things. And we don't have a plan for everything yet. I wish I had. But I know that you and I, and you and Mommy will be together.»
She touched her father's face cautiously. «are you still hurt?»
«Yes» He confessed sincerely, «but it gets better. I'm working on it. And I'll do whatever I can to make you feel better. But…can you try to do one more thing for me?»
«What?»
«Next time I have to go away for a little while..will you try to trust me?»
He was asking a lot, he didn't have to look into her big, debating eyes to know. Everyone saw Derek in her eyes, and he did too, to a certain point, but that dazzling blue pair reminded him a lot of his own father, and Amelia, too.
«Okay»
«Come here» He brought her back into his arms and kissed her cheek heavily, «I love you, so much.»
«I love you too»
Derek kept holding onto his precious girl, dropping numerous kisses on her head.
«I have a surprise for you, tomorrow»
«The turtles?» Her eyes widened optismistically. Derek laughed a little.
«No, we're not seeing the turtles tomorrow»
«Oh»
«We're seeing the turtles today. Someone's coming to see you tomorrow.»
«Who!»
«You would have to wait and see» He teased, «I think you'll be happy»
«Tell me!» She demanded cheerfully.
«You will have to wait, little Miss bossy» He scooped her off the bed, suggesting it was time for them to leave the pediatric floor. «But for now, let's not keep the turtles waiting»
Hope you liked it :) I will try to have the next chapter up soon.
