Christmas came and went. Once Dib and Zim were back home, they opened presents with his robotic minions, ate more Yule log cake, and all sat on the couch to watch a few Christmas specials (at GIR's insistence).
The next few days passed, with Zim encouraging Dib to keep studying star maps and galactic history books. A few calls came from the Membranes, inviting Dib to spend New Year's Eve with them.
"To celebrate the new year arriving, people will stay up until midnight, which is when it officially starts," Dib explained. "Some people will throw parties or set off fireworks. We usually don't do anything as a family, but I doubt Dad's throwing a party."
Zim didn't see anything special about a new year starting, or how not sleeping was significant. "You could just as easily stay up until midnight any other day," he pointed out. "And I'm pretty sure that's what your family frequently does."
"There are other things you can do, though," Dib pointed out. "Like, um…drinking, which I can't legally do yet, so Dad probably won't allow. Could impact my 'brain development' or something. And…oh!" He grinned widely. "Couples kiss at midnight, and it's supposed to be good luck for them in the year ahead."
With that, Zim leaned forward to press his lips against Dib's. "Is that enough good luck for us?"
Dib laughed, but he did kiss him back. "You're a dork," he said. "…anyway. It's not far, but I think I might spend the night with them."
"Would you like me to come, too?"
That made Dib purse his lips. "Mm. Well, Dad…he didn't invite you directly, but he also didn't…not invite you?" he said. "I mean…there were a few tense moments between you two during Christmas. I think he's still a little suspicious about you.
"I would like to spend time with you, but I'll let you decide. I mean, it wouldn't just be me, it'd also be Gaz and Dad."
Zim frowned, leaning back and thinking about it. He did enjoy spending time with Dib, and gaming with Gaz could be fun. But he wasn't a fan of being around Membrane, and there was always a chance the professor might try interrogating him again.
The whole 'kissing at midnight' thing was the most tempting aspect, but as he had just proven, he could kiss Dib anytime he wanted to.
"I think…I might pass," he said. "I've had enough time spent around your father-unit for this year." He grinned wickedly. "Plus, this can prove to him that I'm not the controlling monster he thinks I am!"
"I think it'll take more than one night to convince him of that," Dib said. "…and I'm not going to tell them the actual reasons you're not coming. How about…you were tired from your hard work, and decided you'd rather rest?"
"Untrue, Irkens don't feel tired as humans do," Zim pointed out. "…but I suppose it's a plausible enough lie for someone who can't see my true nature."
Dib grinned, leaning forward to lightly kiss Zim's antenna. It vibrated, and he shifted over to place a kiss on the other one, in the same spot. Zim chirped, quite pleased, waving his antennae back and forth to run them through Dib's hair.
"You're sure you'll be alright without me?" Dib asked as he pulled out his phone to message his family.
"I'm not some smeet, Dib. And I know you're coming back! Of course I'll be alright," Zim said.
He maintained that same position as the last few days of the year passed by. Dib asked again before he headed out on New Year's Eve, and Zim just shoved a bottle of sparkling cider in his hands, urging him to go out and celebrate his silly Urth traditions.
Dib had stuck his tongue out at him before leaving. GIR also headed out, probably to one of those parties he loved so much.
Once he was gone, Zim checked the security footage of the Membrane household…just to ensure there wasn't a trap waiting there for his human. He watched carefully until he saw Dib safely arrive at the house. He watched Dib greet his family, mostly to reassure himself that Membrane wasn't going to belittle Dib or take him away before he turned off the camera feed.
There was plenty to be done to get ready for their trip…flights to map out, modifications to make to the Voot, and so on. Zim claimed the beanbag chair Dib liked to use, pulling out his tablet and pulling up the starmap he had been drawing on, marking places that were too dangerous to go to, and others just dangerous enough to be interesting.
Hmm. Dib had mentioned drinking being traditional on this day…curious, Zim ordered the Computer to fill a glass of wine. The bottle had been a gift from…someone, during one of his plans. Probably the one where he was posing as an accomplished artist. He hadn't yet tried the drink.
He took a sip, humming in thought. This 'dessert' wine wasn't too bad. Nice and sweet, though barely nutritious for Irkens. Still, it was good enough that he kept sipping at it instead of pouring it down the nearest drain.
With a sigh, he lounged back, pulling up his favorite show on the big screen in front of him as he continued planning. Not bad, he thought as he sipped his drink. Though as the hours ticked by, and he polished off the drink and had a refill, he found himself thinking of Dib again.
Maybe that kiss for luck, at midnight…they should have done that, Zim thought. He then shook his head.
Luck. Pah. They'd find their own luck, and Zim would wrench the luck they needed right out of the jaws of fate if he had to!
He was feeling a bit drowsy, and he had no interest in staying up. He downed the rest of his wine glass, shuffling over to Dib's room and flopping down in his nest, purring and smiling. It wasn't quite as warm and cozy without Dib inside, but it was still nice.
He pulled a tablet out of his PAK and played a game until his eyelids started to droop, the device slipping right out of his hands. He yawned and closed his eyes. It was…chilly, sitting there on top of the nest, no Dib to warm him. But he didn't want to move.
Again, he thought of the kiss for luck, and he again waved it off. It was just human superstition, and they didn't need it.
With another yawn, he felt his mind get pulled into sleep, wondering for a moment what traveling with Dib could be like…
Pain. That was what Zim woke up to—specifically, a splitting pain in his skull. "Ough," he grunted eloquently, slowly blinking awake and getting up on his feet. His limbs felt heavy and sore, for some reason, and the air here…it wasn't right. It was familiar, but it wasn't right. The bright lights, the palatable tension in the air…it was like he was on—
Judgmentia.
That thought made him snap wide awake, eyes popping open, and he quickly scanned his surroundings. Zim was standing on top of the Spire of Judgement. The Control Brains loomed overhead, with the Tallest looming right beside them. In the stands were the shadows of thousands of Irkens, glaring at him, all whispering just two things…
"Defect. Traitor."
He swallowed, trying not to shake. He had to prove he was Good, and weak Irkens were Not. He stood a little taller, holding his antennae rigid. And yet he still felt…so small.
"Greetings, my Tallest!" He tried to salute them, but his hands were bound together with metal. That was bad. "What…is this about?"
"Save it," Tallest Red snapped at him. "Did you really think you could get away with any of it, Zim?"
"It was stupid of you!" Tallest Purple laughed. "To think that you—you could betray the Empire and survive!" His mean laughter echoed through the crowd, and Zim resisted the urge to pin back his antennae.
"I…Zim is no traitor!" Zim lied. "Or defect. I'm, I'm not either—" The false words died in his mouth, and he felt like he was choking on sand.
"Anyway, let's get this trial started, yeah?" Purple said, turning away from Zim to look up at the Brains. "We've all got better things to get to."
The metal on Zim's wrists rattled as they shook. He…he wouldn't survive the evaluation. Couldn't hide his crimes. He wasn't even sure how he'd screwed up so badly to have ended up here, or what happened to his—
"…where is Dib?" Zim said, looking around. Thousands of eyes stared back, none of them human. There was a sinking feeling in his spooch.
"What's a Dib?" Purple asked.
"The thing you were traveling with?" Red said. With a sneer, he continued, "Your ship, and everything in it, is gone. Obviously."
"…gone?" Zim croaked. The giant screen lit up, showing an image of his ship blown to smithereens, his human…his human floating limply inside, blood streaming down his head, completely exposed to space.
Zim felt like he was falling, but he just collapsed onto what little space there was on the Spire's point. And yet, he still found himself looking up, up, up at the millions of eyes pinning him down and picking him apart.
"Commencing trial," the Control Brains boomed. A wire shoved itself into Zim's PAK, sending a jolt of electricity through his body and lifting him into the air. The screen suddenly changed images, baring everything Zim was to the watching crowd. Showing his affection for Dib. His actions to separate himself from the Empire.
With each image, he could feel the contempt of the crowd growing.
"Irken Zim," the Control Brains said. "You have done the unthinkable by disconnecting yourself from the Empire. Additionally, you attempted to steal a planet from the Empire, and you attached yourself to a lower life form. Such sentimentality, such weakness, can only be found in Defectives."
"No, I am…I am great…I-I did something no one else could…" Zim protested.
"For your treason and defects, there is only one good verdict—DELETION!"
Zim screamed as volts of electricity poured into him, frying every circuit in his PAK and making his organic shell spasm. The crowd roared in victory with each shudder and twitch, his Tallest grinning down at him in a satisfied way.
Only when his PAK was smoking and rendered useless did the Brains stop. He could already feel his organic body starting to weaken. "It is done!"
The cord flicked him off disdainfully as it disconnected, sending him falling into Judgementia's abyss. He fell forever, his whole body limp and useless. He stared up at the billions of eyes glaring down at him…and one by one, they disappeared. All of them turning away and forgetting about him…
The only fate a traitor deserved.
Zim jolted awake with a strangled scream, clawing at his chest. His blood-pumper was going wild, sending sparks of pain through his chest. He gasped for air, choking on Earth's foreign oxygen. His PAK was clicking loudly, fighting to process…to process too much at once.
"D-ib…" he gasped between chokes of air. "D-ib!"
Dib didn't answer. Zim started clawing the area around him. He wasn't here. No, no, they couldn't have taken him, they'd taken him away, they were going to hurt his Dib just because it would hurt him—
There was a snap of electricity as his PAK forcefully recalled a recent memory. Dib was…he was sleeping somewhere else. His old house. That was right, he was…he wasn't supposed to be here.
And yet he couldn't shake the feeling something terrible had happened to his human.
"Com-puter," he gasped, choking on his own words. "The…Dib…"
"Dib is at the Membrane household," his Computer told him dryly.
"Show me! NOW!"
A screen dropped from the ceiling, flicking to life to show a security feed of Dib's bedroom. Dib was sprawled out over his bed, fast asleep and drooling on his pillow. It all appeared to be a natural sleep…he was safe.
Zim stared at him for several seconds, drinking in the sight. Slowly, his blood-pumper calmed down, his PAK's whirring becoming soft and gentle. He breathed in and out slowly, his PAK easily filtering the air into something breathable.
…a nightmare. That was what humans called it, when they had horrifying hallucinations in their sleep. Zim had scoffed about it at first—why hadn't they eliminated dreaming if there was a chance it'd turn sour and ruin the sleep they were trying to get? But now, it seemed that Irkens were…perhaps not so far ahead when it came to avoiding nightmares.
He reached behind him, fingers brushing against his PAK. Would he always have had the chance to have a nightmare, but never noticed because he rarely slept? Or…was this a side-effect of what he did to his PAK?
Could it be a vision of their future…?
He shuddered violently, quickly shaking his head. He was being paranoid and delusional, that was all. The images his organic brain conjured up were in no way connected to reality.
…still, he didn't want a repeat of anything of them. No more sleep tonight, he vowed! It was unnecessary, especially when there was still work to be done on their ship!
There was, of course, the 'hideaway bed' Dib suggested that was still in progress, but Zim instead worked on the shields and the weapons system. He had been meaning to upgrade them for a while, and now was just a good opportunity.
Hours slid by, with Zim able to make plenty of progress on the ship. He rerouted some energy to boost their energy shields by about fifty percent and had even found a way that, possibly, they could absorb any energy projectiles fired at them to add it to their power supply.
He'd added more weapons, so if need be, he and Dib could fire at enemies at the same time. He'd also added harnesses to both of the seats (one salvaged from Dib's old ship) since Dib had been griping about that recently.
Then, he was back to the drawing board, trying to determine the best way to add space beyond the cockpit without affecting the Voot's functionality. He was hard at work on the newest blueprints when Dib came back.
"Hey, Zim!" he called cheerfully as he entered the hangar. "Were you up all night in here?"
"Just most of it," Zim said, lifting his head. Once Dib was close enough, Zim pulled him into a deep kiss. Once they separated, he whispered, "Is that close enough to give us that 'luck' you mentioned?"
Dib blinked before he realized what Zim was talking about. "Oh! I mean, probably. That's all just superstition, anyway."
"Ah. Of course it was." Zim slumped forward onto his work desk.
Dib knelt beside him, throwing an arm around Zim's shoulders. "Hey," he said gently. "Did something happen while I was gone?"
"…No. Nothing real," Zim said, shaking his head.
"So, something 'fake' happened?"
Zim chuckled dryly. "You won't let up, will you?" Dib shook his head. "Very well. So, after you left…"
He gave a brief explanation of his activities before falling asleep, then a less brief (but not too detailed) description of the nightmare he'd faced. At the end of it, Dib was giving him a very sympathetic look.
"Aw, Zim," he said. He wrapped both of his arms around Zim, scooping him up and pulling him into his lap. Zim made no effort to resist, and once close enough, leaned his head against Dib's chest, listening to his heartbeat.
Dib began to slowly pet his antennae, and Zim's eyes slid shut. "…it worried me," he mumbled. "Seeing all that, and waking up…confused."
"I get it," Dib said, pressing a kiss against the top of his head. "…honestly, you were taking everything after breaking your connection so well, I was…surprised. By how well you were handling it, I mean, considering how hard it was."
Zim squeezed the hem of Dib's shirt. "I am fine," he said. If he said it enough, it would become true. And it needed to be true.
"You don't have to be," Dib said. "It was a hard thing for you to do. It's okay if you're not fine."
"No, it isn't," Zim said. "I need to be fine, Dib. I need to…to not fear what I did!"
"Why, though?" Dib cupped his cheek, and Zim leaned into it.
"…I…don't know," he admitted. "But what if I admitted I'm not fine—which is false—and it…broke me?"
"Even if it did, it couldn't for long," Dib said. "I mean, look at you! You're Zim! You're absolutely amazing, and nothing has been able to stop you! You've bounced back from any and every setback you encountered!"
Zim couldn't help but smile a little at the praise. "Hmm. But wouldn't my greatness mean I can go…unaffected?"
"I don't think that's quite right…" Dib said. "I think it's stronger to allow yourself to…bend a little and bounce back as strong as ever than to try to take every challenge head-on."
Zim huffed a little. The idea didn't make much sense to him, but he could at least follow his partner's train of thought. "Alright, fine. How long do you expect it'll take me to 'bounce back', then?"
Dib fidgeted. "Um. There's not really a strict timeline…"
"And if I'm not fine by the time we get into space, that could lead to me making reckless mistakes that would put us in danger," Zim said. "Too risky."
"But, if you ignore this, what if you suddenly snap while we're out there?"
"There's nothing to ignore," Zim muttered, though he frowned in thought.
"…whatever you choose, I think I'll hold you for the rest of the day," Dib said, kissing Zim's temple. "Good or not?"
Good. That sounded very good. "…there's work to be done," Zim said as a feeble argument.
"It can wait," Dib pointed out. "There's still a few months until graduation, and we've already made pretty good progress." He stood up, cradling Zim in his arms. "Besides, a short break couldn't hurt…and there are probably things we can work on without me having to let go."
Zim hummed, resting his head against Dib's shoulder. "…an hour break," he decided. "Then we'll get back to work."
"One hour," Dib said with a small nod of acknowledgment. He carried Zim upstairs, sat on the couch, and had the Computer start one of Zim's favorite recorded movies—the one where humans were utterly curb-stomped by an invading alien force. It was slightly longer than an hour, but Zim could accept that.
He snuggled up against Dib's chest, chuckling as the fictional humans met their unfortunate fates. During a lull in the action, when some humans were just standing around and talking, he turned to bury his face into Dib's chest. He made a soft chittering sound, and Dib kissed his forehead, stroking his antennae.
Even when the movie was over, Dib…convinced Zim to work lightly today. And so, the two of them spent most of the day reading tourist guides for different planets, ranking them based on how much they would enjoy going there.
Dib might not have been able to hold Zim the whole day, but he almost always was…and even when he needed to let go, some part of him was brushed up against Zim.
Even if Zim could feel worry bubbling at the back of his mind, it was easy enough to ignore, especially after a good day like today. Still…when Dib fell asleep, Zim might have relaxed, but he chose to stay awake. Sleep wasn't necessary for him, after all…
