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Chapter 4: Wildest Dreams

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Apparently, her brothers' night spent with too much Fireale and their resulting tale of Oriana just suddenly appearing before them, had resulted in Titania screaming at the hungover trio from the top of her lungs for getting drunk enough to hallucinate.

Enya had just let their sister scream at their brothers because hearing Titania screech had apparently been much more amusing than trying to clear up the resulting confusion.

"You are favouring your right side. What happened?" Enya demanded, after Oriana and Azriel's shadows had once again kidnapped her and Oriana sighed. It was pure wishful thinking that she could get away with hiding it.

"It's a long story," she started but held still as Enya's magic wafted over her. Checking on her.

"You have two cracked ribs, Oriana," her sister said tightly, glaring at her. Right. That explained why it hurt.

"Azriel's brother was so worried about him that he shattered my fucking wards…" she started to explain.

"And he shattered your ribs too?" Enya snapped.

"You said they were cracked," Oriana quipped and Enya just glared at her, though reached into her back to give her balm of something that she knew was going to at least soothe the ache. It would take a few days to completely disappear but the sharp pain she had with every breath would disappear.

"The next time, you shatter something of him," Enya told her commandingly.

"I put his hair on fire, does that count?" she asked, unscrewing the jaw and untrucking the shirt she wore from her skirt to put the salve on her skin.

"Yes, it does," Enya harrumphed, still not seeming particularly about it. Still, Oriana could deal with that.

Once her ribs stopped hurting that badly, she watched as her sister checked on Azriel.

Her brows furrowed and Oriana's heart picked up, not liking at all what Enya wasn't saying.

"He's healing," Enya finally said. "But you have a choice to make."

"What kind of choice?" Oriana asked carefully, preparing herself for the bad news.

"nothing bad," Enya promised her. "I can keep him out for a while longer. But his magic is surging."

That didn't sound good.

"What does that mean?" Oriana asked quietly, staring at Azriel's prone form. What was he doing?"

"For him? He's searching. He wantsto wake up. He's a warrior?" Enya asked her and she just nodded. "He's searching for a threat. Probably to you. He's fighting against the magic I am using to keep him down and I am not certain that he won't succeed."

"And if you don't let him wake up carefully, he could force himself awake," Oriana ended quietly. Enya nodded.

"That would be… extremely disconcerting to him. But if I lift it now…he's nowhere ready to be on his feet. You'll need to do your best to keep him off his feet and in bed for at least three days."

Right.

"He'll be on pain potions?" she checked and Enya nodded.

"They won't be enough to knock him out," she warned Oriana.

She just nodded.

"Do it."

"I'll lift it, but you should probably get out of his range," Enya warned her.

So that if Azriel came up swinging, she wasn't caught in the crossfire."

"You go out of his range," she said quietly. "I am his mate."

She was going to stay right there, touching the green dome and waiting to reach out for him. She was going to be right there when he woke up.

"What if he hurts you?" Enya asked, for the first time concentrating on Azriel's scarred hands that rested on his chest.

Oriana wondered what her sister was thinking, what she didn't say.

"He won't hurt me," she promised Enya quietly. He wouldn't. But she wasn't willing to even take that risk because she knew that Azriel would never forgive himself for it if it indeed happened.

"You don't know if he is gonna be in his right mind, Oriana," Enya said sharply.

"I know. But he won't hurt me. I'll use his shadows," she promised her sister, Enya's eyebrows moving into her hairline.

"You'll usehis shadows?" she repeated, sounding more amused by anything.

Oriana just shrugged. "If he comes up swinging, can you hold him down?" she asked the shadows quietly. "Only then. Only if…he tries to hurt me. He wouldn't forgive himself if he did…"

She could feel them tighten in response, then flow out from the shadows underneath the bed, gathering in her skirts, waiting.

She nodded to Enya. The doe went down with a shimmering of magic.

Oriana reached out, touching his face. "Azriel," she said softly. "Azriel, listen to me." Suddenly movement was back in him, a soft groan leaving his chapped lips. "It's me, Sweetling. You'll be alright," she promised him, a litany of soft words leaving her lips as she finally watched hazel eyes slide open. She blinked back the tears that wanted to roll down her cheeks at that.

And then she was incredibly grateful for her requests to his shadows because he indeed came up swinging up, even as she cupped his face in her hands.

"Azriel. It's Oriana. You are safe," she told him calmly.

His eyes seemed to calm, his body still heaving against his shadows.

"Oriana," he said her name like he wasn't quite sure if it was right, if it was her name if he remembered her, but then his gaze seemed to clear. "What…what happened?" he whispered hoarsely.

"If I have your shadows let go, are you going to stop fighting?" she asked softly, not for one moment thinking that leaving him restrained was a good idea. Not like this.

He nodded.

The shadows immediately let go as he sank back down onto the bed.

"What happened?" he asked her, and she reached for a glass of water, holding it against his lips.

"You were really stupid," she said lightly. "Your little decision of coming straight home to me resulted in a lot of inner bleeding."

She let the words stand in the room for just a minute, before she could hear Enya shift and Azriel's gaze snapped to her, eyes immediately trying to assess the threat.

"That's just Enya," Oriana explained quietly. "My sister. I told you about her. She's a healer. You needed a healer. She was the first one I thought of."

Azriel still stared at her, but Enya seemed to ignore that.

"Nice to meet you. Though I wish it was under very different circumstances. You'll be fine," she told Azriel drily.

He blinked twice.

"Thank you," he finally forced out, voice still hoarse.

"Maybe you'll keep a scar but I have a salve for that," Enya continued. "Oriana knows everything that you are and aren't allowed to do that. Listen to her. She saved your life."

"You saved his life," Oriana disagreed. Her sister just rolled her eyes.

"Think one of your shadows can get me home?" she asked. "If I stay any longer, Titania is probably going to wonder where I disappeared to."

"Just tell her the truth, she won't believe a word," Oriana advised sagely, making Enya snort as a wisp of shadow came to whisk her sister away.

"Thank you," she said quietly before Enya disappeared.

Azriel weakly stared at where her sister had just disappeared into a cloud of shadows.

"We've used your shadows as a sort of transportation system the last two days," she said quietly. "I would apologise but you nearly died on me because you were being utterly unreasonable, so now you need to deal with it," she continued. Azriel seemed to pull himself out of whatever he had been thinking, a hand reaching out for hers.

She cradled it in his, holding it against her face, pressing a kiss to the palm of it.

"I love you," she whispered. "I am never going to be alright with losing you. I know that what happened wasn't your fault that your job is dangerous and that you can't do anything against it," she explained quickly as she saw him open his mouth to disagree with her. "But I love you. And I need you to come home to me. After you had a healer look you over," she said pointedly. "I am not going through this again."

She was not.

And as she watched him lay in their bed, awake and talking…it was…suddenly the last few days crashed into her and she couldn't help the tears that started to roll over her cheeks. This was…Azriel was everything she hadn't even known she had wanted or needed. And she wasn't willing to part with him. Not now. Not never.

"I'm…sorry," he apologised to her, his voice halting, one hand clumsily turning to cup her cheek. "Don't want to make you cry."

No, of course, he didn't. She turned into his touch unable not to, unable not to enjoy every damn moment of it that she could get away with it.

She loved him so much, the bond between them no longer as unnaturally still as it had been before. It was there now, alive and well in her chest, thrumming with her love and his.

"Then don't be an idiot," she whispered, making him groan with a laugh that then turned into a jaw-cracking yawn.

She could feel his exhaustion. He would be tired, and Enya warned her of that. It would take a few hours until the magic would be out of his system and he would feel better.

And then it would be time for potions and draughts and all of that. But that was a worry for a few hours.

"Go to sleep," Oriana said quietly, fussing with the blankets, as he shifted, turning to his side, his wings behind him, fluttering.

He hummed his agreement and she knew that he still must be utterly exhausted to agree this easily. Still, Oriana pressed a kiss to his forehead and she could feel him relax against her. "Stay. Please," Azriel requested, eyes slipping closed, breathing evening out already.

"Of course," she agreed softly, reaching out to run her fingers through his hair. "I'll stay. For however long you want me to. I'll stay," she promised him.

And she did.

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He didn't remember much of the night. Or from actually waking up. Oriana was there in his memories, fighting to stay with her, fighting to stay awake so that he could protect her because he didn't know what happened and he had needed to…

He remembered that desperation easily.

The rest…it was a bit of a mess.

When he woke up the next morning, his mind had cleared. He remembered the mission in the Winter Court and he remembered coming home and the sudden nausea during the night. The rest was mostly gone, though he did remember Enya.

He finally had a face to the stories of Oriana's sister.

Though he would have preferred to meet her while not half out of his mind. And the fact that Oriana had commanded the shadows while he had been unconscious…that was something he needed to think about.

Oriana was fussing at him the next morning, fluffing pillows and making him breakfast and he let her do that only because he was too tired to protest. And maybe there was a part of him that…enjoyed her attention. Enjoyed the way she ran her hands through his hair and made him porridge with blueberries, his favourite… enjoyed every instance of Sweetling from her.

"I am fine," he tried to insist, but she wasn't having that.

"You aren't," she told him drily. "That word is now banned."

He couldn't help but snort and immediately regretted it because his stomach was still killing him. "You can't do that," he protested.

"Watch me," Oriana gave back haughtily. She cleaned up the tray his breakfast had been on and stood up. The movement wasn't as smooth as it normally was, nearly jerkingly. Like she expected a pain to appear, to stab her in the left side.

"Why are you favouring your right side?" he asked her, worry immediately flooding his mind. She pushed back with it with no small amount of love.

"Everything is alright. Enya already checked me out," she assured him. "I cracked two ribs."

What? When? "When?" he asked her. "How?"

"While you were sleeping, Sleeping Beauty," she teased him, disappearing out of the room to bring the tray into the kitchen and he waited impatiently until she returned.

"How?" he demanded as she came back. Her lips pursing, clearly thinking through something and she sat down at the edge of the bed, close to him again.

"Right," she said carefully. "Regardless of how angry you get, you are going to stay in this bed," she warned him.

He glowered at her, but Oriana just raised one fine eyebrow at him, clearly waiting until he agreed. Finally, he succumbed, giving a jerky nod.

"I should probably have told you before, but I wanted to wait until you were more in your mind again. It's nothing bad," she assured him as she caught his glance. "Or at least I hope you don't think it's anything bad."

There was no small amount of…hesitation in her words at that. She was speaking in riddles and he had no idea what this was about.

"Your brother showed up," Oriana finally said quietly.

"My brother," he repeated flatly. Cassian or Rhys. Which one?

"Cassian," Oriana answered the unspoken question.

Cassian. Cassian knew the house. Cassian probably had been worried and that's why he had shown up. Still.

"What exactly does Cassian have to do with you cracking two of your ribs?" he demanded.

"Well," Oriana started. "First he crashed through my warding net, which by the way, was very rude. And then he maybe tackled me to the floor and held a knife to my throat?" she offered, pulling a grimace and Azriel closed his eyes for a moment.

"I am fine, I swear!" Oriana assured him.

Cassian. Cassianhad forced himself through Oriana's ward and then thrown her to the fucking floor and held a cauldron-forsaken knife to her throat?

"He held a knife to your throat," he forced out, every word clipped. He stared at her throat, unblemished skin. At least he hadn't actually cut into her skin.

"Well, I melted that," Oriana assured him. "And my warding net burned off half his hair so I think we are even. Even with the two cracked ribs."

Yeah, he definitely disagreed with that.

"Let me see," he insisted instead. Oriana sighed.

"Azriel."

"Let me see," he repeated.

She gave in. Only now he realised that she wasn't wearing one of her usual dresses but a skirt and a shirtwaist, probably because she was unable to actually lift her arms enough to put on a dress, thanks to her cracked ribs.

She opened the buttons at the side of her skirt that kept it closed and then pulled up the shirt she wore, baring her ribcage to her. Her skin was so dark that bruises were pretty much invisible on it to him, but he still reached out and felt along her ribcage, until she hissed at his prodding. He repeated the motion, feeling her warm skin under his touch and the way where it was swollen and hot to the touch.

"See, it's nothing bad," Oriana assured him.

Nothing bad?

"I am going to rip his fucking throat out," he hissed, pulling her shirt back down and closing the buttons himself. He was. He was going to fucking kill Cassian for this!

"You are not. He's your brother," Oriana disagreed and he snapped.

"He could have killed you!" He could have. So bloody easily. Regardless of how magical Oriana was, she wasn't the General of the Night Courts Army. She hadn't spent 500 years fighting for his bloody life the way Cassian did for a living.

"But he didn't," Oriana hurried to assure him. "He didn't, Sweetling," she cooed, but even that just made him huff in frustration. "You aren't supposed to leave the bed for three days. Healer's order," she told him drily, as he shifted. "And I know you want to disagree with me, but don't. I'll have your shadows tie you up if need be. Don't even think about it," she warned him.

Cauldron boils him.

"But…" he started to protest but Oriana cut him off.

"You'll behave, and I'll give you a treat once you are done," she said easily, a grin on her face and he could just stare at her. What?

Where did that come from suddenly? She was pushing so much love and affection at him that he could feel himself wilt together like some kind of weed.

"What kind of treat?" he asked her, curious beside himself.

"Well, what do you want?" Oriana asked with a grin, that was definitely on the side of salacious.

He definitely realised what she was doing but he couldn't stop himself.

"I…" he stuttered, unsure of what exactly she wanted him to say.

"How about what I have wanted for weeks, but you never let me return the favour. How about that, Azriel?" Oriana said lightly as she stood up and he couldn't help but swallow as he knew exactly what she was suggesting.

"I…" He just about managed a nod.

"Good. Go to sleep, sweetling," she cooed. "I'll let Cassian know you are awake. He'll probably want to come over. And don't even think about killing him."

He did go to sleep again, though he woke up as soon as he heard Cassian at the front door, his brother's booming voice saying hello to Oriana and he forced himself into a sitting position as Oriana led him into the bedroom.

"Azriel." There was relief on his brother's face but Azriel was too fucking angry to even think about that.

"Don't even think about it," Oriana snapped as he swung his legs over the edge of his bed, the shadows poised to keep him down if he even bothered to try.

Still, he did. Let nobody ever tell anybody that Azriel wasn't the most stubborn idiot on this side of the Sidra

"You broke two of her ribs. I am going to kick your ass," he huffed out, trying to stand, as the shadows finally bore down onto him, pressing him back down.

"What?" Cassian asked, sounding incredulous and shocked at the same time. "I did?" he asked, looking to Oriana, who had crossed her arms, staring at the shadows as he still struggled against their gentle grip.

"You did," she agreed. "It's fine. Azriel is just being…"

"Azriel is fucking furious," he snapped, finally giving up the shadows not even bothering to let go of him. "And it's not fine!"

"It's not," Cassian agreed. "I am sorry. That wasn't my intention," he told Oriana, actually sounding remorseful.

"I know. You thought I was keeping Azriel hostage," she said drily. "Sweetling, go back to bed," she told him drily, another look to his shadows that started fluffing his pillows in response.

"Do they listen to you?" Casisan asked, sounding incredisouly.

"They like her better than they like me," Azriel growled in response, letting the shadows tug him back into bad like a wayward child.

"It's because I am nicer," Oriana quipped. "Sweetling, if you even think about leaving this bed again, I'll know and my revenge will be swift," she warned him. "I'll leave you two to it," she said. "I'll be making dinner."

And off Oriana went. Azriel half expected to be teased for the term of endearment but Cassian said nothing.

He huffed at the shadows and pulled the blankets back up to his chin, even when he pushed them down again, and Cassian shook his head in amusement, picking up the armchair they kept in one corner and playing it next to the bed, so that he could sit down properly.

"You heard her. You stay lying down," Cassian said as he sat down and Azriel shifted again. He just glared at his brother.

"I am really sorry for breaking her ribs," Cassian apologised again and he sighed, letting go of some of the anger he was having about it. It was…well, it wasn't fine. It wasn't.

"I know," he responded quietly. He did know that.

"And for holding a knife to her throat," Cassian continued.

"I know," he repeated. "Seems like she got you though," he said with a look at Cassian's short shorn hair. Cassian's fave took on a grievous expression.

"That and melted my favourite knife straight out of my hand," he admitted to Azriel, sounding like he was taking the loss hard and Azriel couldn't help but grin.

"If you ask nicely, maybe she'll make you a new one," he suggested. It would be better than any other knife that Cassian had, that much was for certain.

"She made Nesta's hairpins, didn't she?" Cassian asked, suddenly seemingly making the connection.

"Yes."

"You took me to her shop!" Cassian said incredulously. "For the hair comb!"

"I did," he agreed with a soft smile. He had done that.

"You are horribleat keeping secrets," Cassian told him drily.

It was a stab in his chest. After…After they officially bonded…keeping Oriana a secret hadn't been high on his list of priorities anymore. At least not from Cassian. Keeping her a secret from Casisan had only ever been on his mind because he had wanted to keep her from Rhys.

"She was never a secret from you," he finally said quietly.

Cassian just looked at him for a moment.

"Just from Rhys," his brother said evenly and his head snapped up. "We had a bit of a throwdown," Cassian answered the unspoken question.

"Cassian," he said with a sigh. "It's not his fault that this happened. Yes, I told him that it probably was a bad idea but…"

"This? You think we had a throwdown about the stupid mission in Winter?" Cassian asked him, sounding incredulous.

"About what else?" Azriel wondered. About what else could Casisan and Rhys fight?

"About what happened at Solstice three years ago," Cassian corrected him. "We had a throwdown about that."

Oh.

"Nothing happened," Azriel said tightly. He didn't want to talk about this. he didn't want to…

"Don't lie to me. Don't protect him," Cassian snapped. "Tell me why you never said anything," Cassian demanded.

Azriel didn't want to have this discussion, but clearly, Cassian wasn't going to give in when the expression on his face was anything to go by.

"Tell me whyyou never said anything," Cassian repeated, his voice harsh. "Rhysand admitted to it, you know. That he ordered you not to pursue Elain. That he ordered you to leave her alone. He said that you should go to a pleasure hall and pay for sex if you wanted it. All of it."

Azriel remembered. All of it. He remembered all of it.

"And you just…You just took it," Cassian said quietly. "Why?"

"He's the High Lord," Azriel said quietly. It wasn't the whole truth. Not really. There was more, like how…how he hadn't thought that he deserved Elain anyway. It had been a nice dream and then it had been snatched from him…and that had hurt. It had hurt so much. Because it hadn't been…

If Elain had turned him down, he could have dealt with that. Somehow that would have been less painful. Less painful than Rhys being the one that would…

"He's our brother," Cassian disagreed. "He's yourbrother." He was. "It wasn't right what he did. None of this was right. Azriel, he…"

"Don't," Azriel cut him off with a sigh. "It's alright." It was. In a sense it was.

He could…Now…now when he was here, right at home in the lakehouse and he could still smell bonfire and Jasmine surrounding him, could remember the warm body of Oriana sleeping right next to him…as long as he had that…anything else didn't really matter anymore. It didn't.

"It's not alright," Cassian snapped. "None of this alright. That's why you don't come to family dinners. That's why you don't let him anywhere close to your private life. Why you keep your mate a secret from us all. It's his fault!"

"Just until…until the mating bond was consummated," Azriel said quietly. "I couldn't…He couldn't take her from me then."

Not anymore.

"That was something you worried about?" Cassian asked, looking absolutely gutted, like his heart was breaking. "That Rhys was going to take her from you?"

"I…I do not say that it was particularly logical," he admitted quietly. "But he…he did…he did tell me to stay away from Elain. And I couldn't stay away from Oriana," he whispered. "I saw her and I just…she's everything," he said quietly. "She's brilliant and beautiful and so magical that it takes my breath away every day. I look at her, and I am in awe, Cassian."

He knew that Cassian would understand that. "She's fucking terrifying," Cassian finally said and he couldn't help but laugh.

"You think so?" he asked and Cassian just stared at him.

"Yes."

"Thank you, I work very hard at it," Oriana's voice came from the door and he turned toward her as she brought another tray of food. Soup and bread, which he put on his lap and then offered a bowl to Cassian too, who took it with a start of surprise.

"Eat," she said quietly, then went to disappear again, a couple of shadows going skittering after her.

"Is that Illyrian flatbread?" Cassian asked surprised, taking a piece of it from the tray.

"I took her to meet Esmeray," Azriel said quietly, looking at Oriana who was in the kitchen, shadows swirling around her skirt as she moved around.

"How did that work out?" Cassian asked curiously.

"She showed Oriana how to make bread and then gave her a blue rose," he recounted quietly. "It was better than I could have hoped for in my wildest dreams."