It took sixteen breaths after she parked out front of the district before Tess was able to get out of her car with her head up, the fire in her gut roiling but contained. Jay had wanted her to get a spot in the back lot, all of Intelligence had one as the highest-ranking unit, but not all the highest ranking officers which had apparently caused some issues in the beginning. And since space was a premium and she didn't need another reason for any of her new coworkers to dislike her she'd politely declined. She'd only really interacted with the officers of the 21st so far and most of them didn't seem to mind her, with a few like Caminetto going out of their way to be friendly and a few others going out of their way to avoid her but no one was hostile. Honestly that was all she'd been hoping for but as she made her way inside it became abundantly clear that they were all aware something was up.
And whatever it was they all considered her on their side of the wall.
It made her feel bad for threatening to burn it down.
It also gave her that familiar but still uncomfortable, gut tightening mix of appreciation and guilt and if it hadn't been for the firm look Trudy gave her she would've tried to avoid her to stop it from getting worse. But she knew now that pissing the woman off was a recipe for disaster and since she was trying to stop today from becoming a shitshow she dutifully made her way over. And it did make her smile to see the glare the Sergeant gave the officers around her desk that had them quickly scattering.
"Thanks for the heads-up."
"I promised to keep you in the loop."
"He looked like a yellow." Trudy retorted dryly, in reference to the threat level she'd provided them with. And he was.
It was his contact who was an orange.
Dark, right on the edge of red, orange.
"You'll let me know if you need anything?" Despite how it was framed it was more a demand than a question but she nodded anyway.
She still didn't feel better but she did smile again at the little tap both of them gave the desk before turning away. It had started as something she did to bug the older woman but then she'd started doing it back and now Sergeant Sunshine seemed to like it as much as she did. What she didn't like was walking into the bullpen to see everyone staring very intensely at Clark. He was right where Jay had put him, in a chair between his desk and Kevin's and she held back a snort when she realized he was angled so that Hailey had a clear shot of his forehead. She really didn't think this would get violent, he could but a dick and he definitely didn't like her but they'd worked together enough that she was pretty sure he wasn't going to try to fuck her over. But it was still nice to see they all took the possibility seriously.
Nice.
And gut wrenching.
"Well at least there's no smoke coming out of your mouth." Clark drawled as he rose to his feet but his eyes flicked to Jay as he did, surprised he stayed seated.
So was she but Tess didn't let it go. "You want to explain what you're doing here?"
"This is where you work now isn't it? I figured going to the Haven would be inappropriate."
He figured he'd see what this place was made of.
How defensive she was of it.
He wouldn't do anything with that information, but he'd want to know it.
"What I think is inappropriate is Arlo sending you instead of coming on his own. Especially when he's sitting in a car five blocks away."
"I'm a middle man." Clark replied, long past the point where he was surprised by how well she gathered information. As was Arlo Jones, the Australian arms dealer he was here on behalf of. "If I don't go in the middle I go obsolete. I think I've made myself useful enough you wouldn't want that."
"Then tell me what Arlo wants."
"He's got a shipment that's supposed to come through later this week but since you've staked your claim on the city he's willing to have you intercept it."
"What kind of shipment?" Voight asked and though she knew it must've hurt his ego that Clark looked to her before answering him the older man did a good job of hiding it.
"Automatic weapons, a few explosives, the usual."
"Long way from smuggling art." Jay commented but he held Clark's stare evenly, though he raised a brow when he received a half sneer in response.
"I got pushed out of that field. You spend long enough around a blaze the only people willing to associate with you are the ones who aren't afraid to get burned. Or burn back." He snarked but while his tone didn't change his gaze got serious when they flicked to her right arm before meeting hers. "Heard you dealt with that not long ago."
"It's going to make a hell of a tattoo in a year."
"Is Arlo someone who'll try to burn back?" Jay asked, his voice taking on a harder and darker tone; was this mix of pride and worry what he'd felt when she'd come home?
Clark shook his head and whether her boyfriend realized it or not she knew it was a sign of respect that he answered him directly. And even though his answer to her was more vague he seemed secure enough that for the first time she'd gotten the alert he'd arrived she relaxed.
"No. But I don't know what kind of favour he wants."
"Tell him to come ask me."
Since Arlo was so close it only took him ten minutes to get to the precinct but that didn't mean it was an easy wait. No one told her, verbally, but Voight had told Adam, Kim and Vanessa to stay out working their current case, their average run of the mill murder and while she was grateful to not have a bigger audience she had Cas keep a close eye on them just in case. Nothing else had happened to make her feel like she was being targeted, not to her or her teams or any of her associates, nothing she'd been able to link anything but the thought was never far from her mind. Especially because the whole point was that she was having trouble linking anything to anything. And Arlo…
He was not a good person. But he also wasn't a bad person. Tess didn't think anyone here would agree with that assessment if they knew his record but then if they knew everything she'd done they'd probably have a hard time not thinking the same of her. He wasn't as dangerous as she was, her threat level had broken the scale and even though he actually seemed to like her she always felt a little uneasy around him. Maybe because he actually seemed to like her, except not in the way that he wanted to be her friend but that he wanted to see just how much havoc she could wreak. And if he could benefit from the carnage that was all the better.
"Resa!"
And maybe that was another reason she didn't want him around.
Everyone raised their brows at his warm welcome, except for Clark who rolled his eyes though she caught his smirk as Arlo continued his greeting.
"Gotta say, I was rooting for the merc." He said with a grin as he not at all subtly looked Jay over, no doubt the tightening of his mouth what prompted him to wink at her; it was a dick move to bring up Dean but then he was one. Usually that was something she liked about him.
Usually.
"I didn't know you were so invested in my love life."
"Well a woman like you doesn't come around often." He replied with another broad smile, his eyes now roving up and down her body, something not many who knew her were brave or smart enough to do but then he was as big a flirt as his friend.
"Oh Arlo. The 'you're not like other girls' line died years ago."
He just tilted his head back and laughed, sharp and loud but genuine and she forced herself to relax.
This was what she'd been fighting for right?
Her two worlds to come together?
"You aren't like other women Resa." Arlo said with a sigh, looking her over for another long moment before he finally started paying attention to the others, grinning again when Hailey gave him an unimpressed look at his assessment of her. "I have a shipment coming in two days from now, from Canada. Guns, bombs, all kinds of bad things I'm sure these fine officers don't want on their streets. I'm willing to give it all to you, including who sold them to me, without even asking for a refund."
"How noble." Jay said dryly but the stubborn jut of his jaw gave away his frustration. "What are you asking her for?"
The arms dealer huffed, his smile turning into a smirk as he looked Jay over before his eyes flicked to her. "I've never known you to let a man speak for you."
"He's not. He's asking a question. So answer him."
It felt that horrible mixture of satisfying and terrifying to see his and Clark's surprise as they started to realize what Jay meant to her, that he wouldn't be here, that they wouldn't be here unless she wanted them to be. It was so different from how they were used to her operating that it took them a minute to adjust but then Arlo nodded, the bright spark of intrigue in his eyes making her stomach churn.
"I want… information."
"What kind?" Jay asked evenly but there was a hint of pride in his voice now that both filled her heart and made her want to cry. Before Arlo's gaze snapped to her and everything went tight.
His hesitation had everyone in the room straightening but his eyes stayed locked on hers, a little wild but not hard, not angry but firm. Sure in what he wanted.
And then everything went cold.
"I want to know the number."
The word ran on repeat through her mind, through the room but even though only Clark understood the meaning it hung over all of them, a weight that made it difficult for her to breathe. "Everything you could ask me for, and you want that?"
"I know better than to ask you for the kinds of favours I'd want." Arlo said with a huff but the way he shook his head… and that fervent glint in his eye… He wanted to know. Half of Tess thought it was audacious. The other half was amazed he was the first. "Besides, what's more powerful than the truth? And the truth behind a legend?"
The room got heavier again but also tighter as that understanding grew, with it a hint of remorse from the man in front of her but it was overpowered by that glint, not just curiosity but challenge.
And not against her.
"That's priceless."
It wasn't.
But what did she care?
She was carrying it regardless- what did hiding it do?
"Forty-two."
Small?
Or big?
Arlo couldn't seem to decide and the remorse grew, and so did the respect, along with that weird desire to see more and with a small and sad nod he turned to go. And she let him, but only to the stairs, determined to get an answer to that challenge. "Who asked you to ask me that?"
"No one."
The immediacy of the answer combined with the genuine confusion eased one fear but the hesitation that followed echoed with a greater one.
"I was with some people recently and it… came up."
Of course it had.
Legends made great drinking stories.
"Include their information. And find out if anyone else has been talking about me."
Tess hadn't bothered to look at him, she wasn't looking at anything right now but she didn't need to be to feel the beat of trepidation that came from him, and Clark, not afraid to give her what she wanted or even of what she'd do with it but of why she wanted it. It was coming from the others too and for right or wrong after the men were gone she used that to keep herself together.
"To be clear, that's not the number of people I have killed. That's the number of people I killed after my aunt was murdered."
