Chapter 2: Left Behind
"I'm losing my mind,
Don't leave me behind
We need a bit more time."
The awaited day arrived when Ben Solo was set to commence his training with Luke at the academy on the planet Ossus in the Outer Rim. Until then, young Jaina remained oblivious to her brother's imminent departure, as no one had the heart to inform her. Ben, having completed his packing, discreetly handed over his belongings to his father to hold onto, avoiding any encounter with Jaina. His emotions were twofold – one of happiness, as he was fulfilling his dream of becoming a Jedi, inspired by the tales his uncle Luke had shared about battling the Empire. The other emotion was sadness, as he had never been separated from Jaina for an extended period. Their strong force bond allowed them to sense each other's moods, and there were nights when Jaina sought solace in her big brother's bed during nightmares, with the roles occasionally reversing.
"We're running out of time, Dad. I believe we should inform her," Ben whispered anxiously to his father, glancing around the corner to observe his younger sibling engrossed in playing with toy X-wings, mimicking the shooting noises. Nervously chewing the bottom of his lip, he felt the mounting anxiety about when she would learn the truth. Perhaps their parents or even Uncle Luke could be the ones to break the news? Regardless, she had to know! The impending moment had been a source of dread for him over the past few months. "I just want to get this over with," he added.
Han released a sigh, hearing the worry in his son's voice. He briefly stepped away to store Ben's belongings near the cockpit. Upon his return, the smuggler placed a reassuring hand on Ben's shoulder, smiling down at him. "I know, son. This is something we've been preparing for since Luke agreed to take you. Your mother and I have discussed it countless times. Listen," he knelt down to Ben's eye level, "I need to know something beforehand. Ben, will you be alright? We all know how much you love and care about Jaina, and it's clear she feels the same about you. I'm certain you'll be just as concerned for her well-being when you're away."
"Of course, I'm going to worry about her, Dad. I always do!" Ben spoke, tears welling up in his eyes. "Who will comfort her through the nights when she has night terrors? She relies on me to make them go away!" Wiping away his tears with the sleeve of his robes, he remembered that Jedi were not supposed to express their emotions so openly. Yet, he wasn't a Jedi yet, and he could feel as much as anyone else. Learning to control those emotions would come later. It was a task not easily mastered for someone like him.
The smuggler was well aware of the answer to his question. Both he and Leia understood that Ben was the key to calming Jaina during her night terrors. "You two are connected through the Force, remember? Even from a distance, I'm confident you can send her some comfort. Your mother mentioned that Luke could call upon Leia through the Force on Cloud City when he needed rescue after his battle with Vader." Han added, "Also, don't forget—she, your mother, and I are always just a commlink or holo away. Here." Reaching into his back pocket, Han handed Ben a device. "It's your mother's. She thought you'd have more use for it now. I gave mine to your sister."
"But-"
"We can always get new ones, kiddo. Don't you go on worrying about that. Now," Han stood up once again, playfully ruffling the neat hair pulled back into a small ponytail on his son's head. He then pulled him in for a gentle embrace. "Now, come on then. I think it's time we tell her before you're off." They separated from the hug, heading towards the living area of their loft. Han went to fetch Leia from the master bedroom they shared, at least when he wasn't out on smuggling jobs. "Leia," Han called out softly to his wife, "It's time."
Leia looked up from her desk, understanding the gravity of Han's words. Carefully standing up, she prepared herself to convey the news to Jaina, anticipating the heartbreak it might cause. When everyone had gathered, they finally made their way to the living area. Ben, understandably, felt the most nervous. He looked up at his mother, tears threatening to well up again. The seasoned war general took the lead, stepping toward the young girl and gently tapping her shoulder to get her attention. "Sweetheart, we need to talk. It's very important," she spoke tenderly.
Jaina, heeding her mother's call, set aside her toys and turned to face everyone, a sense of confusion in her expression. "What's going on, Mom?" She quickly noticed the glistening wetness on Ben's face and instinctively wrapped both arms around him. "What is it, Ben?"
"Jaina, I—" Ben started, but choked on his words. He couldn't find the strength to break the news. The young boy silently hoped his parents would take the lead.
"Please. You can tell me, Ben," Jaina reassured him, tightening her grip in an attempt to offer comfort.
"Listen, darling. Your Uncle Luke is on his way to pick up Ben. Just Ben. I know that you've always wanted to go together with him, but -"
"You promised we would go together!" The young Solo exclaimed, stepping back from Ben. She couldn't believe the words she was hearing. Her little heart felt like it was shattering into a million pieces. Accepting this reality seemed impossible. "Daddy!" she cried out, seeking understanding from her father.
"Jaina -"
"No! I want to go with Ben!" Jaina insisted, returning to hug Ben once again, holding onto him even tighter this time.
"We understand, Jaina, but -" Han tried to intercept, only to be cut off as Jaina continued her emotional outburst.
"We're supposed to train together, become great Jedi together! Why can't I go with him?!" She demanded answers, unaware of the reasoning behind the decision. Unyielding, she refused to budge until she got an explanation. "Tell me!" The ground trembled for a few seconds.
Han and Leia exchanged glances, sighing in defeat. They knew this battle was unwinnable, especially when Jaina displayed the Skywalker stubbornness. "Jaina, your brother...I'm not really sure how to explain this. You should understand that Ben needs Uncle Luke's help to control his emotions. And you know about his nightmares, too. Luke is the only one who can help get rid of them for good," Leia explained, omitting the part about the mysterious voice Ben heard. "Please understand, darling."
"Your mother is right, Jaina. It's more important that we send your brother off now to ensure that he is able to get his emotions under control. That way, when he becomes a Jedi, that won't get in his way," Han stepped in again, kneeling down to comfort his youngest. He needed to do his best to make her understand at all costs. Glancing over at Ben, who hadn't spoken up since choking back on his words, he reached over to try and pull Jaina towards him, but she refused to let go. "I'm so sorry, princess. He... could only agree to take one of you. You should know that Luke's academy fills up rather quickly."
"But, but Uncle Luke promised! He was gonna train me and Ben together. He lied!" Jaina screamed once again, her anger escalating upon realizing that the promise had been broken. "Why would he lie to me?" Her voice trembled with every word spoken, her face now filled with an endless stream of tears. She recalled to countless of times when Luke told her the two of them would be brought in at the same time for their training. It's something the young Solo girl had been looking forward to for years. And now in the matter of seconds, that dream is now shattered. "Why would he..." Her knees became weak at this stage, falling down to the floor - to the puddle of her tears.
"I'm...I'm sorry, Jaina. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier," Ben managed to collect himself, feeling the weight of guilt for keeping this from her. He had promised his parents and Luke not to disclose it, precisely to avoid this reaction. Now, he couldn't help but think that perhaps Luke should have picked him up discreetly during the night, avoiding all this pain. "If I-I said that Uncle Luke would only allow me into his academy, y-you'd have had this same reaction. And I was always afraid of it. That's why I never intended on telling you in the first place because they made me swear not to. Forgive-"
Jaina couldn't bear to hear any more. It was already too much for her to handle. "I c-can't believe you, Ben! After all this time y-you kept giving me false hope about how we were doing this together!" Despite being only five years old, she was remarkably articulate for her age, a testament to their mother's teachings. "You, and Mom and Dad, kept this from me for the longest time. I hate you all!" Pushing through everyone, she was caught by the arm by her father. "LET GO!" A powerful force pushed him away, stunning everyone. It was clear she didn't mean the last part.
Han was left speechless at the unfolding events, staring at his daughter in shock. He had never seen her this angry before, even considering her unpredictable moods. His little girl, his princess, was consumed by anger in this moment. "Jaina..." Her usually big brown eyes briefly glowed with an intense red for less than a second, leaving the smuggler confused by the sight, as he was the only one who caught it.
Without another word, Jaina stormed off to her room to be alone. The rest of the family remained in their places, still stunned by the recent events. Leia checked on Ben to make sure he was alright, "Darling, are you-"
"I'm f-fine, Mom. It just...hurt when she said she hates us. Hates me," Ben struggled to believe that she could say such a thing to him. They had always been so close to each other, through both happy and challenging times. But he should've known she would react strongly when the truth was revealed. "She hates me, Mom," he cried, tears flowing freely this time. The pain was evident in his voice. "..hates me."
"No, no. Ben, she doesn't mean it. I promise you, Jaina does not mean those words. She's just hurt right now. Please understand that," Leia, too, felt the sting of her daughter's words. It felt like a lightsaber through the heart. She pulled Ben into a warm embrace in an attempt to comfort him. Her eyes shifted toward Han, who remained on the floor, still in complete shock. "Han."
Han released a heavy sigh, meeting Leia's gaze. "Leia, we just need to give her time. That's what she needs right now. You and I both know Jaina would react in this manner. But I never saw that coming." He answered. Should he bring up the fact that her eyes turned red? Maybe for another time. His attention was caught by the sound of a ship landing at the pad just outside the living area. "I think Luke is here."
Ben was still struggling to take it all in. Upon hearing that his uncle had finally arrived, he quickly dried his face of any tears or wetness. He didn't want Luke to see him in such a weak state, fearing it might make him seem unfit to be a Jedi. However, Luke would likely see through the facade and sense the lingering sadness. "Uncle Luke."
The hooded figure of his uncle, accompanied by R2-D2, finally made himself known, and cheerful beeping filled the room. "Ben, my boy. Are you ready to take your leave? Or would you like a few more moments to say goodbye?" Luke questioned as he came over to greet his sister and brother-in-law before approaching Ben. He noticed Ben's red eyes from the earlier crying but chose not to address it, understanding the emotional toll of the day. "Where is Jaina?"
"She did not take the news well, Luke. Jaina stormed off when we told her," Han spoke up, maintaining direct eye contact with Luke. His thoughts were still focused on Jaina. "Listen, before you two go, we need to speak. It's urgent."
"Very well. Ben, say your farewells. We will be leaving momentarily - before we do, Han, of course. Do you need me to talk with Jaina?" Luke asked, picking up on their emotions through the Force. He wasn't surprised by the emotional turmoil. "I could perhaps calm her mind - knowing she's full of anger right now."
"You can try, Luke. But I don't think there is any reasoning with Jaina at the moment. She's far too upset, to the point where she yelled 'I hate you' to us, including Ben. And well..." Leia turned to her husband, a sad smile forming upon her lips, "She pushed Han back with the Force, strongly at that. It's incredible yet so frightening at the same time."
Luke listened to his sister's words, a bit taken aback by the last comment. While he expected a strong reaction, the use of the Force to push someone back was shocking. He knew Jaina was powerful even at such a young age, yet Ben was a bigger priority right now. Plus, she would be safer with her parents if things went wrong. "I will certainly do my best. I won't be long. Ben," the seasoned Jedi laid a hand on his nephew's shoulder, "Once I finish, we will be going. Be prepared." With that, he proceeded to make his way towards his niece's room, entering without alerting her. "We need to talk, Jaina. I understand you're very upset over our little situation here. I don't blame you for feeling as such."
"It's your fault to begin with... You made me say that hurtful thing to everyone," Jaina cried, refusing to look at her uncle. After her rage subsided, she instantly regretted her choice of words before storming off. "I hurt my dad with the Force. I-I couldn't control it. L-Like it wasn't me." The trembling in her voice was evident. "I didn't mean any of it."
"I know you didn't. And I do not put any of the blame on you for reacting the way you did. I apologize if I ever misled you from the beginning. That was not my intention," Luke spoke from the foot of her bed. He could feel her deep remorse for her actions earlier. "I'm not sure how much or what your parents told you, but Ben is in trouble, danger even. It's related to the nightmares he has been having. Someone is responsible for them, and while Ben is going off with me, I am going to try and figure out the identity of this person. If they somehow find their way to Ben, it could be dangerous. And I don't want to put you in that situation, Jaina. Can you understand my reason now?"
"But I can help him! We are stronger together," Jaina pleaded her case, hoping he would reconsider. She wouldn't give up, no matter what evil might be lurking. Plus, they would have Luke there to protect them, right? No one is stronger than their Uncle Luke, one of the greatest Jedi Masters in the past century. "You even said so yourself - our force bond is something you've never seen or felt before. Doesn't that count for something at least? Please..."
Luke knew his mind was made up, not wanting to endanger his family further. He flashed her a sad smile, shaking his head no. "The answer is still no, I'm afraid. Listen, Jaina. You can still be a Force wielder and not be a Jedi. You could be a healer - our world always needs more of those in case any Jedi or fighter finds themselves hurt. And I know how much you like to help people."
He wasn't wrong. Jaina was a people-pleaser and would do anything to help anyone in need, even at her age. But hearing him suggest that she give up her dreams of being a Jedi, right alongside her brother, only made her upset again. "How can you just say that I shouldn't be a Jedi when it's all I've ever dreamed about? And especially when you've told everyone to keep me in the dark about this?" She frowned at him, her eyes once again glowing the same red as they did earlier with Han. "Don't ask me to do that, Uncle Luke!"
This unexpected development surprised the Jedi Master, who observed her crimson-glowing eyes. What on earth? Luke thought to himself, his face cringing into a confused expression. He shook off the thought, attributing it to her emotional state. "Just think about it. But no matter what you choose to do, I know you will be great at it, no doubt. Now...I believe it's time for me to take Ben. I really do think you should go back in there and say goodbye to him. With your bond, you two will be able to communicate. It's like you'll still be at each other's side."
"It won't be the same," Jaina said with a coldness in her tone, turning her body away from him. She had heard enough for the day. "Just go. I don't want to talk to anyone anymore. Please, leave me alone."
Without saying another word, Luke took this as his cue to exit the girl's room and rejoined the rest of his family. On his way there, however, he could've sworn he heard Jaina through the Force say, 'Tell Ben, I'm sorry for me.' He smiled at this. "Come on, Ben. We should be on our way."
"O-Okay. I guess she's not coming back out, is she, Uncle Luke?" Ben questioned, noticing that his uncle had returned alone. He felt a light sting in his chest.
"Leave her be for now. She needs some time to ease her mind. Try giving her a call through the Force later tonight. It will help," Luke spoke softly, motioning his nephew over towards him. He hadn't forgotten about Han's request earlier, "And Han, I wouldn't worry about anything if I were you. Jaina, well, you know - when she gets a certain mood, her Force power reflects on it. She feels awful for pushing you."
"I know. I know she didn't. I'm just still shocked, that's all," Han managed a small smile, feeling a bit of relief from what Luke told him. He just couldn't get the image of his little princess with glowing red eyes out of his mind. But Luke said it was nothing to worry about. Right?
"Ben, my darling. You know if you ever want to talk to us, about anything - your father and I are just -"
"One commlink away. I know, Mom."
Leia couldn't conceal her smile as her son already anticipated the answer to her remark. The prospect of not having Ben around all the time would be challenging, even though their time together was limited due to her duties as a General. Now, it meant enduring 13 years without seeing him in person, with holograms being the only means of connection. "I'm going to miss you so much. But I know you will be in good hands with Luke at the academy."
"Just promise me something. The both of you," Ben shifted his gaze between his parents.
"What is it, son?" Han inquired.
"Take care of Jaina for me, alright? She will need you two the most now that I'll be away." The older Solo child implored, sensing their inherent commitment. He hadn't explicitly requested it, but seeking reassurance felt right to calm his mind.
Both Han and Leia nodded simultaneously at his request, approaching to give their son a final family embrace before Luke escorted him away for a 13-year absence. "We will, Ben. We will. Take care of yourself. May the Force be with you."
"May the Force be with you."
Luke and Ben eventually made their way back to his X-Wing, neatly parked on the landing pad. It was a snug fit, but they managed to occupy the confined space. Gazing out the viewport on his side, Ben spotted the figure of his sister standing on her balcony. Proximity wasn't necessary to discern her tears; he felt them through their Force bond. He raised a hand to wave down at her, hoping she would notice. In response, Jaina waved back, watching him depart for the last time. Until...
