Bella let Embry carry her bags to the bedroom that had been hers as a girl. She wasn't quite ready to see it again. She wasn't sure if Charlie would have left everything as it was or if he'd changed it to a guest room, giving up hope she would ever come home.
She went into the kitchen and made a pot of tea, needing to soothe her nerves. She was still excited to be home yet terrified to be back. So much had changed, yet she still felt the same, barely having changed aside from aging - not enough, anyway. She was afraid she was still selfish. It was apparent that she had been an excessively selfish teenager. Teenaged Bella was willing to let her parents grieve her death when she was 17 and give everything to a narcissist who didn't deserve to breathe the same air as the human population.
Edward wasn't walking the earth anymore, and part of her was glad of that fact, even though she knew it would hurt the Cullen family.
When the tea kettle whistled, she poured herself a mug and added a tea bag. "Dad? Do you want a cup?"
"Sure, Bells."
Anxiously, she watched Charlie as he lumbered to the kitchen and eased himself into a chair. She hoped that didn't mean something worse than her mind had already dreamed up. "Dad, are you?–"
"Bells," he cut her off, "I know we have much to discuss. But I think we both need a full night's rest. I promise I'll fill ya in on everything in the morning."
"Okay, Dad. That sounds fair." Bella stirred a spoonful of sugar into her tea and then carefully carried it to her bedroom.
Bella twisted the knob and slowly pushed the door open. The hinges squeaked as though her bedroom door remained shut for far too long, and she could feel her anxiety rising tenfold, threatening to overwhelm her. The unknown of what awaited her on the other side filled her with panic. Bella glimpsed the same mint-green walls and faded purple bedspread she'd left behind and shoved the door open completely.
For a moment, she was stunned. Bella couldn't figure out why she was so surprised that her childhood bedroom appeared just as she'd left it. She'd half-expected that to be the case. Still, it felt surreal. The only notable difference was that Charlie had recently washed the bedding.
As she crossed to the bulletin board over the desk, she couldn't help but giggle at some pictures of herself and the pack. A treasure of memories that seemed a lifetime ago. Most were goofy pictures, candid shots no one knew were being taken - the best sort, in her opinion.
Fighting back tears, she brushed her fingers over the one of Jake, Paul, Embry, Quil, and herself. They laughed while lounging around a bonfire on Second Beach as Paul attempted several impersonations. He was terrible at it. They'd laughed so hard their sides ached.
Sighing, she set her tea cup on the nightstand and pulled a sleep set from her luggage. Bella quickly dressed, climbed into bed, and took a long drink of her quickly cooling tea. She tried to ignore the oddness and familiarity of where she was as she got comfortable, then promptly fell asleep.
When the morning dawned, it was too bright and early for Bella's liking. She pulled the blanket up over her head and groaned. It had been too long since she'd been able to relax and enjoy herself… nine years since a brief respite from living on the run.
Knowing she had plenty to learn, she threw back the covers and emerged from her cocoon. After dressing quickly in jeans and an old band t-shirt, she slipped on her sneakers and a hoodie and descended the stairs, relishing the smell of coffee that hung in the air.
Stepping around the corner, Bella watched her dad for a few moments as he read the newspaper, mustache twitching now and then.
"You gonna stand there and stare all day, Bells? Or do ya wanna grab a cup of coffee and have a long overdue chat?"
With a sigh, Bella pushed off the wall and slid into a chair beside her father. Her eyes raked over his face, taking in his appearance in the morning light. While he still looked too thin and pale with sunken cheeks and bags under his eyes, he didn't look as bad as the night before.
When she finally met his gaze, she whispered, "I'm sorry I stayed away so long, Dad."
Charlie waved his hand in the air dismissively, saying, "I understand why you left. You thought you were protecting everyone here. I don't understand why you couldn't call once in a while or ask if the threat was gone."
"I was afraid they could track my location. I was afraid to keep drawing you guys into my trouble. Jessica died, Daddy." Putting a hand to her mouth, Bella choked back a sob. "She died because they were looking for me. And Quil's arm got broken fighting them. I couldn't keep letting everyone sacrifice themselves for me."
Mouth twisting wryly, Charlie said, "You're too much like your old man, Bells. You were always putting everyone else before yourself. But you gotta stop running away from everything all the time. You did not get that from me." Quirking his eyebrow, he waited for her to connect the dots.
"That's bullshit and a low blow, Charlie. I am nothing like Renee, and you know it. There's a difference between running to protect people and running because you have another hare-brained idea. I'd appreciate you never insinuating that again." Slapping her hand on the table, she stood to grab a mug and poured herself a cup of coffee before taking a careful sip.
With a sigh, Charlie looked over his shoulder at her, "You're not entirely wrong, Bells, but I just wish you'd let me help you. I'd have done my best to protect you."
Trying not to scoff at the thought of her very human father going up against a solid slab of marble with incredible strength, she said, "While I appreciate the thought, Dad, I wasn't willing to potentially lose you, too."
"You should have called. You should have checked in, Bella. Do you know how long it took for the boys to take out Victoria and her handful of minions after you left?"
Eyes welling with tears, she shook her head, afraid of the answer.
"You should ask Jake or any of the wolves. Did you know Quil's arm healed in two days? It wasn't like it got ripped off. He didn't suffer for months because of the injury. Bella, I wish…"
"You think I don't wish that too? In hindsight, everything is always much more clear. But I would like to think you would be a little more understanding of my attempt to save the people I cared about, even at the price of self-detriment."
Flipping her hair over her shoulder, she set her cup down at the table and resumed her seat. "I doubt we ever see eye-to-eye on this. Maybe you should accept that I did what I thought was best for everyone. Every decision, every action, had a reason behind it, Dad. And I can't change the past."
Thinking about her three months in Dallas with Klaus, she couldn't help but think that there were a few things she wouldn't have changed, like meeting him.
"Tell me what is going on with you?" Bella asked quietly.
Charlie harrumphed. "Well, some parts of me just aren't working quite right. Makes me tired and feel real old."
"Is it your heart, like Grandma Swan's?"
"Yeah, Bells. Despite working to stay in shape for the force, I should have listened to you about eating healthier. You know I always ate burgers and steak at the diner. Well, I had a heart attack five years ago. It made an already weak ticker almost useless. I have a veritable pharmacy I take several times throughout the day, which helps. I could still have a long life, but I'm not the same. Walking upstairs has me out of breath, so I only go up once. I had the pack build a bathroom in the laundry room so that I wouldn't have to go up and down all the time. I take naps frequently and those are in my chair."
Sighing, he stroked his mustache, and looked at the table. "I probably need to sell this house, but I just don't want to lose another part of myself."
"Why would you need to sell the house, Dad? We could just make renovations to it. Let me work on it?"
"Bells, any money I had socked away is long gone for medical bills. I can't afford anything like that. I have been thinking about selling and getting a small one level house. I don't need much since it's just me."
"How come you never dated after mom, Dad?"
"Jesus, Bells, asking all the hard questions today?" He chuckled. "Besides, who says I never dated? You just didn't know about it."
"Fair enough," she replied with a raise of her eyebrows. "Should we go grocery shopping and then to the rez? I promised Billy lasagna for dinner today."
"Sure, just let me get a jacket. You wanna drive the truck?"
Surprise etched her features, "Did you find my truck in Portland and buy it from the guy I sold it to?
"Yeah. My eighteen year old daughter took off without a trace. You think I didn't know where you were most of the time, you would be mistaken. I have my ways, Bells. I have my ways."
Shaking her head, she said, "So all that time, you knew where I was?"
"Maybe not the whole time, but anytime you got a speeding ticket, bought a new car… I would get notifications from my contacts. You can't be the Chief Of Police, attending cross-country conferences for years and not meet people who can help ensure your kid is safe."
"So all that time I spent running, I wasn't alone?"
Charlie put his arm around her shoulder and kissed her head, "Never alone, Bells. I will always be here for you, even if it's just in your heart and mind."
Side-eyeing her as he sat back, he said, "We need to talk about Dallas. It seemed awful strange for you to spend almost three months in one place. If you'd have waited another week, I'd have been on a plane to find you, and whatever man made it worth the pause."
Bella could feel her face grow hot but avoided the topic of Klaus. For now, he was going to remain her secret. A hot, steamy secret that, given the opportunity, she would gladly experience again.
