Chapter 4
Brooke woke up around five in the morning her mind racing and her nightmare playing back through her mind. Her strapped to a table, Jessie as well as her sister and that other boy being tortured.
She was helpless to stop it back then and in her mind now so she got outta bed. Forgetting she and Bucky had spent most of the evening talking until they eventually fell asleep next to each other. She had expected to be waiting up alone in a Hydra facility. Instead, she was waking up in a plush bed with a warm body beside her.
Her panicked movements had woken Bucky up, she had not realized he was there until his hand landed on her back.
"Hey, it's ok."
Even though Bucky was not sure what had happened, his goal was to reassure her she was safe here with him. After that was established, they could delve into what caused her breathing to quicken and her heart to race.
"I need to see Kai." She whispered into the dark room.
"He's been moved to the raft, it's not a place they usually allow visitors. I can ask Steve if it's possible but I wouldn't hold my breath." Brooke sighed, she was such a mess.
"I'm sorry I woke you up."
She felt guilty, she knew he had not slept the night before. Sam had made a crack about him staying up all night watching her sleep like he was a sparkly vampire. Bucky had not gotten the Twilight reference, but she had. Much like all teen girls, she had been a fan of the books, and even made time to go see the movies once she got settled in New York.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Bucky hated in the beginning when Steve would ask him that, now here he is asking someone else if they wanted to talk about their nightmares.
Brooke shook her head, she lowered her body back onto the mattress. She stared up at the ceiling while Bucky turned his body sideways so he could look at her.
"Other than saving lives these last months, what else have you gotten up to?" The silence getting to her, as well as his gaze burning into her.
Bucky sighed, "Training and missions eat up most of my time."
Brooke cocked her brow at him. "Don't you ever want to just, stop? Take a break. It's not like you haven't earned it."
"I've done a lot of bad things, killed a lot of people. Some deserving, some not. Maybe if I save enough people now I can fix my karma."
Brooke smiled, "You believe in karma now?"
Back at her mom's home, she had talked about karma, Bucky had shaken his head, he'd never really believed in that kind of thing. Hearing him bring up the concept now made her heart rate pick up. He had been thinking about what they had talked about over a year ago.
"I believe that what you put out comes back to you."
"Well, I'd say the universe owes you a smooth century, or two. Maybe you should build a house in the woods near a lake, go off the grid till the world figures its shit out."
"Would you be there?"
Brooke bit her tongue to try and fight the smile that was trying so hard to spread across her face. After all the information she learned yesterday, she hadn't wanted to be alone and Bucky seemed to not want to leave her to head back to his room. Being alone after everything just wasn't as appealing as Brookr tried to make it seem to assure Bucky she was okay. He saw right through her.
"What makes you so sure you'd want me there?"
"Why are you so adamant that I wouldn't?"
Brooke huffs, she does not have an answer for him. She did love their week together and looked back on it fondly. As much as she knew he was struggling back then, she felt safe there with him, like she had when she was younger. Always seeking him out when she felt unsafe or when she wanted to see him.
So their week together was nice, it felt natural the two of them existing together. But it was the result of a heightened situation a special circumstance. Bucky was going through a lot and as much as he initiated their sexcapades those last days, she did feel guilty for giving in. Unsure if he was even in his right mind enough to make a decision about that sort of thing. Or maybe he had had so much pain in his life, that her soft touch was too tempting to pass up.
There was also her own mind to consider. She had just gone through a rough year. Voluntarily tortured to save a little boy who died anyway. Her memories had come flooding back as her blood was drawn or when she heard Kai on the phone with other scientists. Memories of being forced into ballet classes, and fighting arenas.
She and Bucky came from a similar place. Pain. To her understanding, pre-war Bucky's childhood was as normal as anyone else's, as hers had been.
Two people in 'recovery' should not fraternize with each other. Well, Bucky was a year ahead of her but they were both recovering and after what she learned about her older sister and the boy she was supposed to be with, supposedly. She had a lot she needed to think through and come to terms with.
Also, she needed to get a job. Maybe she could get her old job back, her boss had a thing for her, and maybe she could flirt her way back in.
Brooke had not realized she had disassociated, leaving Bucky in silence while she disappeared into herself. His voice pulling her back out.
"You know what your problem is?"
Brooke's mouth fell open, she sat up to face him. Bucky stayed on his back a smirk on his face.
"I think you should run it over a couple of times in your head before you tell me."
Bucky sat up, his face softening. "You've been taught the only person you can depend on is yourself. No one else has ever shown you that you can rely on them."
"I think you should stick to saving people, you're a terrible therapist." She muttered softly.
"I think I would really like it if you let me show you I can be someone you can depend on." Bucky rested his vibranium arm on her thigh.
"I think that I don't know what I think."
"What do you feel?" Bucky heard her heart speed up.
Brooke swallowed, "Hurt. And scared, because I already trust you. I trust you and I've never let myself trust anyone before. Even mom, not entirely."
Bucky nodded, he remembered feeling that with her. Here was this woman pulling him from the cage of his mind, giving him choices and kind touches. And somewhere between holding her hand and holding her body against his. He completely trusted her, without warning or question.
"I'm scared too." Brooke frowned. "I've never wanted someone like how I want you. I will not forgive myself if I mess this up and let you slip away after months of hoping for a sign you were still alive."
Brooke's head slowly shook as she thought over his words, the cool hand on her thigh, and his sincere eyes. He was saying so many right things, things she never thought anyone would say to her.
Something she wanted but never would allow herself to search for and here was this man. A man who had seen such horrible things had done horrible things for an organization he did not believe in. Yet, he was offering her sincerity, compassion and a chance at something more.
"When do you head out next?"
Bucky watched her, seeing how she shifted the conversation.
"Three days." He supplied.
Brooke nodded raising up on her knees. Bucky's hand slid up to her hip his other palming her cheek. Brooke's lips pressed to his, her lips soft like he remembered. Bucky used the hand on her hip to guide her into his lap. Brooke's hands slid over his shoulders, fingers playing with the hair on the nape of his neck. He had gotten a trim since the last time they did something like this.
Brooke pressed her forehead to his, looking down at their bodies. Bucky's fingers played with the soft material of her sleep clothes.
"I feel like you should lose this shirt." She whispered.
Bucky leaned back long enough to pull his shirt over his head, dropping it to the floor. Brooke pulled her borrowed shirt over her head, pressing her bare chest to Bucky's bringing her lips back to his. Her nipples dragged over his chest.
Bucky's hands slid up Brooke's bare back, pressing her closer to him. They breathed against each other.
He knew she did not have the ability to say it, that she was giving him a chance. But he knew she was, she never would have let him spend the night otherwise. To initiating this intimate moment between them.
The way her little hands cupped his jaw as she kissed him, sent his heart hammering in his chest. Bucky pressed his hips up against hers, eyes rolling back in his head at her moan. Her hips rocked slowly down on his, little breaths hitching in her throat.
Bucky keeps her close, flashes of the last time she was on his lap flooded his mind. Something he found himself thinking about often this last year. The way she trusted him with her body, how she guided his metal hand over her curves. He had been so terrified when she tried to hold his hand while his head was between her legs. Afraid he would hurt her, that his hand would act independently from him.
He held his breath when she settled in his lap, pressing her lips against his as she moved his hand up her body. When she settled it on her chest all he could imagine was the metal tearing through the skin to pull her heart out of her chest, leaving her void in his arms.
Instead, he held his breath, and after a long deliberation, he flexed those fingers relishing in Brooke's reaction. How she smiled, taking his lips again and dropping her hand from his, letting him explore.
"Bucky?" Brooke pulled back, the way he was looking at her, no one had ever looked at her like that before.
She had seen lust, and loathing when men had looked at her before but not this. The look in Bucky's eyes, was like he adored her and wanted to show her how much.
"Will you go to dinner with me this Saturday?" He breathed.
Brooke nodded pulling his lips back to hers. "Yes" answered against his lips.
With her secure in his arms, Bucky rolled them so her back was flat on the bed.
.
She's not your girl, Bucky tried to remind himself as he watched her over the breakfast table. Brooke was planning on heading back to her apartment that morning, he had convinced her to stay long enough to eat some breakfast.
As much as it pissed him off, he was still on probation there was no wiggle room to disobey. Fury had demanded they all debrief yesterday's mission at nine the next morning, leaving Brooke under surveillance by Sharon and Neil. Half because she could be under threat from Hydra and the red room, the other half because Fury wanted to keep an eye on her.
The agents were on their way to the compound to escort her home. Bucky had tried to convince Brooke to wait for him to be out of his briefing, so he could take her home. But he could not promise he would be out of the briefing before lunch, and Brooke was eager to set up her space and start looking for a job. "I need to get back to my life." She had told him
So begrudgingly Bucky had nodded but insisted she stay for breakfast. He watched her as she smiled and made polite conversation with Steve. Asking him questions about their childhood, and life before the war. It warmed Bucky's heart, to see her caring about the one person he loves, who's always had his back.
"What did you do in Tribeca?" Steve asked.
"I was a vet. I am hoping to stop in there today, to see if my boss will rehire me. He had a crush on me, I'm hoping he may still hold a candle."
Steve's eyes flickered toward his friend, noticing him stiffen slightly.
"I hope that works out and you get your job back. We do have a lot of lab positions here, you would be dealing with humans but I'm sure Bruce would love the help."
Brooke looks down, "Thanks but, I'm not so sure Fury or Stark would like that. Besides, I like working with animals, they're simpler than humans."
"Miss Cassidy," Neil called out to her.
Brooke flinched at the sound of her father's last time. "It's Mitchell." She corrected.
"My apologies Miss Mitchell. We are ready to take you home."
Brooke nodded, getting up to clear her plate. Bucky stood up, taking the plate from her hands. Brooke's hand hung between them, her eyes flickering up to him questioning.
"I've got it." Brooke bit her cheek to keep from smiling at the sweet gesture.
Steve stood too, greeting the two agents. "We'll walk you out."
With nothing on her except Bucky's sweatshirt and the shorts she had been wearing yesterday Brooke turned to follow the group. This place was so big, that she would be lost in there if forced to find her way alone.
Bucky stuck close to her. He wanted to place his hand on her back but was not sure if she would want that. When they all piled into the elevator Brooke shifted closer to him as Neil sized her up. Clearly, Fury had downloaded him on her past. Bucky felt a flutter in his stomach, pride that she felt he was safe to lean on when she felt uncomfortable. Annoyed with Neil, for making her feel like she had something to worry about/ Bucky slid his hand over her lower back, and Brooke leaned into him.
"Agent Carter is Peggy's niece," Seve explained, seeing the exchange between the two. "Peggy worked with Howard, Bucky and me during the war. Agent Beckett, I haven't had the pleasure of meeting."
Agent Beckett looked over at the tall blonde, nodding his head. "Neil Beckett sir, I was in the Marines for three years before deciding my skills were best applied on land. I've been working with Agent Carter for a couple of months now. Before her, I worked with agent Thomas."
Steve nodded along, recognizing Agent Thomas's name. He was a good recruit, he worked mainly with local law enforcement. Bucky on the other hand was sizing Neil up, squaring his shoulders.
"Well I am sure if Fury recommended you for the job, you will not disappoint," Steve said to fill the silence.
"No sir, I will not." Neil's eye flicked to Brooke. "We will keep an eye on her until told otherwise."
Steve nodded, eyes still on Bucky. He had heard his friend talk about Brooke. Her name always brought life into his eyes. Seeing how protective he was of her when they found her, how fiercely he defended her to Tony. Bucky wasn't just sweet on the girl, he was head over heels, dare he say in love with her.
As much as Steve hoped his girl-loving friend would settle down eventually, the fact that he clearly wanted something like that with Brooke worried him. This girl could break Bucky's heart and it would wreak him, send him back to the man he was a year ago. Steve would never allow that to happen.
"You need to make a stop, pick her up a phone," Bucky told Sharon.
He wanted Brooke to be able to get in touch with him if something went sideways. He also wanted to be able to call her to check in, anxiety rising in his chest as they approached the blacked-out SUV.
"We will call to let you know she's safe Sargent."
Bucky didn't bother looking at Neil, he looked at Sharon who gave him a nod of reassurance. She would get it done.
"I actually already have one. I knew I wouldn't need my cell where I was going so I left it behind. Stark has that number by now I'm sure."
Bucky nodded, knowing the billionaire had his robot system running all night, pulling up every detail of Brooke's life. The invasion of privacy has him clenching his jaw. Tony was looking for reasons to be suspicious instead of the facts. She feel prey to Hydra just like they all had.
"I'll call you once I get out of the debrief," Bucky promised her.
Brooke smirked at him as he opened the door for her. "You know - You don't have to worry about me, Sargent."
"Maybe I want to."
Brooke shook her head, looking at him fondly through narrowed eyes. "Maybe one day I'll let you." She teased.
They both knew he was going to whether she permitted it or not. Even if Brooke decided she wanted nothing to do with him, Bucky would still make looking out for her a priority. Though he hopped with all his heart he would not have to watch her from the outside, but from much closer, as a part of her life.
"Once we get her back to her place, one of us will run out, and pick up anything she might need," Sharon told the group, climbing into the driver's seat.
Brooke slid in behind her. Bucky took hold of the rear door, leaning in.
"Be safe."
She winked at him, buckling herself in. They shared one more glance before Bucky forced himself to take a step back shutting the door softly.
He and Steve stood in the hanger, till the car rounded the building.
"You've really fallen for her."
Bucky took a deep breath. "I was a goner a year ago. My head was just too scattered then to figure out what the hell to do about it."
"And now?"
"I'm more sure about her than I've been about anything in a long time."
"Fair enough." Steve clapped his shoulder. "Outta the two of us, you were always the one who thought things out before taking action."
"And you got your ass kicked, pre and post-serum because you run in before thinking." Bucky turned to his friend, "I know what I'm doing, Steve."
The blonde nodded, he hoped that was true. Even if not, and things did not work out for the better, he sure as hell would be there to dust Bucky off, as he had done for him so many times before.
.
Steve made it a habit to speak up for Brooke during the meeting as much as possible. He knew Bucky wanted to and would have, but the endorsement sounded better coming from a neutral party.
They talked about their mission and Bucky told the group the full story of how Brooke broke him free from Hydra long enough for his memories to start coming back. It was clear to the whole group how invested Bucky was in her. Usually, he was quiet in the debriefs, only speaking when he was asked a question directly. This meeting he was speaking up to share his narrative before anyone else could paint Brooke in a different light.
Fury made it clear Brooke was to be under their "care", and surveillance, until further notice. They could never be too careful.
"Where you headed Tin man? Tribeca?" Sam teased as they walked out of the meeting.
Bucky rolled his shoulders, ignoring Sam. Tribeca was exactly where he was going. He may have trusted Peggy, but Agent Carter was not her Aunt. He sure as hell did not trust Agent Beckett, not with the way he sized Brooke up like she was a threat.
He pulled out his phone, Tony had given him Brooke's cell number before the meeting started. He had sent her a message so she would have his number, he had no reply from her. Sharon had texted him an hour ago to say they were held up in traffic, some big accident downtown.
Bucky reminded himself of that, she would text him back when she got home and had a chance. So instead he sent a text to Sharon, checking on their progress. She responded fairly quickly.
- 25 minutes out from Brooke's Loft. - Sharon.
- Thanks - Bucky.
He figured he would be spending the night in town. Either at her place or his own, so Bucky went upstairs to pack a bag. With any luck, he would be on the road in the next twenty minutes.
"I'll be back for the debrief on Wednesday," Bucky told Steve.
The blonde nodded, "Stay safe and trust them Bucky. Sharon's good at her job, she wouldn't have an incompetent partner."
Bucky nodded, but he had no incentive to trust them. They were not there to protect Brooke from the red room or Hydra. They were there to put Brooke down if she stepped out of line, no matter the nice words Fury tried to use to describe it.
With his bag packed, he was climbing onto his bike when he checked his phone.
- We arrived but we've run into a problem. -
Bucky's heart leaped in his chest. He was nearly two hours away if the traffic was still bad. What the hell had happened? He called Sharon but she did not pick up, which worried him. If she was not picking up, that meant she was actively dealing with something or someone.
Bucky revved his bike. He grew up in New York. He could make it to Brooke's in about an hour and a half if he pushed his bike and took the side streets. He knew there would not be a second of peace until he could lay his eyes on her.
.
Brooke looked up at her loft. At one point she thought she would never make it back here. She had been willing to do everything she could to get Jessie out of harm's way, maybe even die for him.
Now she was back here, her home for several years. All her stuff, phone, clothes, fuzzy socks. All the things she thought about over the past year. It was all so close, she could not wait to sink back into it all.
Brooke led the two agents up to the third floor. Her loft door was locked by a keypad, and she typed in her password 7332*. Pulling the large sliding door open, it creaked after not being used for so long.
Brooke had not expected her home to smell fresh after so long, but she did not expect the rank smell that hit her as she walked inside. Holding her breath, Brooke entered, opening windows and turning on the fan above her stove, anything to dilute the smell. She tried not to gag as she pressed the sleeve of Bucky's hoodie into her nose.
"An animal must have gotten in, died in here or something," Brooke muttered, looking around her couches and in the kitchen.
"If there is an animal in here, we'll find it," Sharon assured her.
Sharon could only imagine what Brooke was thinking and feeling right now. She had seen Natasha, Steve and Bucky deal with things after getting their lives back. It was hard and painful but they all did it. Brooke would too. She knew Sargent Barns and in relation, Steve would be there to make sure she did not fall.
"Sargent Barnes let me know their debrief is over. I'm sure you'll be hearing from him soon." Sharon told her.
Brooke nodded and headed for her bedroom, she had left her cell on her nightstand. No doubt it was dead and needed to be plugged in. Brooke felt her stomach flip at the thought of Bucky texting her. He was kind, handsome and actually cared about her. As much as that thought freaked her out, it also warmed her. if she could just allow herself to open up and accept that, that would be a start.
That was all he was asking for from her, a chance to see what they could be. An opportunity to prove himself worthy of being in her life.
Brooke had removed the door to her bedroom when she first moved in. She liked the open space concept and mainly it was only ever her here, she did not need to close the door for privacy.
So walked into her room, she had no barrier between her and the little lifeless body posed on her bed.
Air choked her, all thought left her mind and blood rushed in her ears deafening her. It felt like the floor fell out from under her, she just froze.
"Brooke?" Sharon noticed the lack of movement, moving quickly toward her. "Oh, my god."
"Jessie."
He was laid out on her bed, hands folded on his stomach. Flowers spread out over her comforter outlining him.
Somewhere in all the white noise, Brooke could hear Agent Beckett talking to someone on the phone. Calling for a team to come "take care of a body". Brooke shook her head, no, she did not want people coming into her home and taking Jessie away. He deserved to be taken care of, respectfully.
"I texted Bucky he'll be here as soon as he can," Sharon said stepping into her line of sight. "Let's go back to the car, Neil will stay here with the- with Jessie until a team can get here."
Brooke shook her head. "No, don't bother him. He's in a debrief, he's working."
Sharon held Brooke back as she made to walk over to the body. "I'm sorry, I can't let you touch him. Our team is going to come in here and conduct an investigation. I promise you, they will take really good care of him."
"He shouldn't be alone."
"Neil will guard the door, keep Jessie company. You and I will go wait in the car."
Brooke shook her head. How could she walk away from this kid after what happened to him? She could not just leave him with a stranger.
"Brooke."
"You can go wait in the car. I'm not leaving him."
Knowing she would once again be stopped if she tried to walk toward the bed Brooke walked over to the wall adjacent to the bed and plopped down, leaning back.
Sharon looked at her and could see the blank numbness on her face. She knew Brooke wouldn't be allowed to stay here, not while the team was working things over. She would need to stay someplace for a little while, at least until their investigation was done. Going back to the compound made the most sense, she would have Bucky with her there.
Sharon pulled out her phone and called Steve. She could let Brooke sit there until the other agents showed up, give her some time to process what she was seeing.
"Hey, Sharon. Did you get Brooke settled ok?"
"We've run into a problem. Jessie's body was laid out on her bed, Brooke found him and refused to leave. She doesn't want to leave him alone."
She heard Steve calling out to someone, "Bucky already left for Tribeca. Sam and I will head out now, did you call a team?"
"Neil called them, they should be there within the hour. I sent a text to Bucky, he tried to call but I was focusing on Brooke. I'm sure he's going to come in hot, expecting the worst. He not exactly thrilled were here watching her."
"Bucky cares about her. More than I've ever seen him interested in a girl before, he's probably thinking the worst. And Bucky doesn't trust anybody, I wouldn't take it personally."
"He trusts you."
"That's hardly a fair comparison. Though he did square off with me when he thought I was going to throw Brooke into an interrogation room."
"She won't be able to stay here while the investigation is going on, hell she may not want to stay after this."
Steve sighed, "We'll bring her back here till we can help her find a new place if she wants a new place. Sam's pulling the car around, we'll be there in a couple of hours. Call me if anything changes."
"I will."
