AN: Happy April Fools.

Title Chapter: American Civil War


Temporary Realm of Isolation

Fuse

The first thing I see when I exit the portal is a disgraceful and disgusting European city. It's also pretty clear to me that this was western Europe, because the buildings all look ridiculously gaudy.

Welp, all I need to do is go find this Vagisilious person, and hopefully she won't give me too much of a hard time when I beat her to death.

Walking around the city, populated with mindless European copies, I eventually picked up that somebody was watching me.

Likely this Vagisilious fellow.

I don't have any way of finding her right now, I've yet to get lucky from the gacha in terms of actually finding people. But fortunately for me, it looks like the prey fell right into my grasp.

A weird looking albino-ish fairy creature with pink hair, some orange fox ears, some weird looking purple antennae, wearing something that looks like a purple idol outfit while wearing a Chinese mianguan appears in front of me using some sort of teleportation spell.

Before she speaks, I use [Observe] to figure out what I'm dealing with here.

Vagisilious

Level: 100

Racial Classes:

Fey (15)

Fairy (10)

Pixie (10)

Will-o'-Wisp (5)

Job Classes:

Spiritualist (15)

Diviner (15)

Evoker (10)

Soul Scryer (10)

Overseer of Souls (5)

Merciful Spiritual Sovereign (5)

Karma: -75, Evil-Neutral

Approximate Status

HP 70

MP 100

Phy. Atk. 20

Phy. Def. 55

Agility 70

Mag. Atk. 95

Mag. Def. 90

Resistance. 85

Special Ability. 100

Total: 685.

Spells and Skills: [Expand]

Racial Specialties: [Expand]

…Okay, very funny, system. An actual stat sheet, please?

Vagisilious

Status: Healthy

Stamina: Healthy

Mana: Full

Race: Will-o'-Wisp

Title: [REDACTED]

Classes: Spiritualist, Diviner, Evoker, Soul Scryer Overseer of Souls, Merciful Spiritual Sovereign

Professions: N/A

Godhood: [REDACTED]

Ranking Setting: Universal [Change]

Overall Ranking: S+

Power Rank: B++ [Expand]

Magic Rank: S++ [Expand]

Social Rank: S- [Expand]

[Due to Vagisilious's Godhood being restricted, Devourer of Gods is only half as effective.]

Oh- My system gave me a restricted god for me to hunt? That's an absolute blessing, probably the nicest thing it's ever done for me.

Though, why is Vagisilious a restricted god? What's holding her power back to the point I can't even see her title?

Well, Devourer of Gods being only half as good is still amazing, considering the one god I did fight last week, Garbanag, got absolutely fucking trounced by me once he got to that level.

If this fight goes even half as well, I'll be fine. Plus, because I waited a week before fighting Vagisilious, [Murphy's Law] is back on the table.

Now, the only way for her to live is to correctly answer my question…

"Are you American?" I asked.

Vagisilious blinked, then she responded, "Uh, not anymore?"

What the hell does she mean by not anymore? Like, did she fuck off to some European country or something?

Tilting my head, I asked her, "Elaborate?"

She scratched her head, "Well, I mean, I was American for like 20 years, then I moved to Japan. And I've literally never stepped foot on American soil ever again, so…"

Hm, okay, that wasn't ideal, but it was totally fixable. All I needed to do was ask one simple question, "Are you still loyal to the United States?"

Vagisilious had the audacity to laugh in his face, "Ha! No."

…What a fucking disappointment.

The very first American-born American since my first death, and she's a fucking traitor.

"What a disappointment," I bluntly remarked, pulling out Washington & Lincoln out of my inventory, my old reliable pistols, "Then let me remind you of the glory of the United States of America."

Using [Murphy's Law], I cursed her luck and at the same time I began to fire at her.

Vagisilious decided to take the bullets straight up and had to muffle a gasp as my bullet literally tore through her hands.

Seriously though, what was she expecting?

She teleports away to somewhere still within eye distance and heals herself.

Ah, so she's a healer? That's going to be annoying…

I'm half tempted to just use Revolutionary Battlefield straight away, but I know from experience that if I use it too soon, it might get immediately countered since she's currently operating at peak capacity.

Vagisilious then glows like a christmas tree, and instinct tells me she just buffed herself to high heavens.

Vagisilious points a hand at me with a glare. Six magical symbols appeared in front of her, and within a moment, six beams of light attempted to strike at me.

Activating my wings, I quickly jumped up to avoid the attack, and I mockingly shouted back, "Damn! Dude! Are you trying to kill me?!"

Vagisilious looked a bit confused at my words, therefore I won that interaction.

Pulling out Biden, my AR-15, I started shooting back.

Vagisilious then pulls out a magic force shield out of her ass, and blocks all of my shots.

Clicking my tongue, I figured that my win condition was to tire her out enough to not be able to do jack shit against my Revolutionary Battlefield. Because right now, she's just tanking and healing all of my shots…

Well, as long as her mana depletes. Speaking of which, what's her mana looking like?

Vagisilious

Status: Healthy

Stamina: Healthy

Mana: Full

…What.

It's still full?

Landing on a nearby building, I quickly started observing all of the things she's wearing to try and figure out how the hell she still has full mana.

Eventually, I figured out it's her hat.

[Supreme Sovereign of Spirits' Mianguan - World Class Item - While the Mianguan is equipped by the user, all talisman spells are augmented with the Supreme Sovereign of Spirits' remaining power. Offensive talismans will be able to inflict a curse on enemies, sapping away their mana and mana regeneration. Healing talismans are able to regenerate their target's mana equivalent to the health restored. Other supportive talismans will increase the target's mana regeneration rate. - (Lore) - (World Item Rules).]

So, her hat basically lets her heal forever.

Fucking bitch.

I basically need to instantly kill her to have a chance, and I also need to dodge all of her attacks so I don't get my mana instantly depleted. And if I get hit by an attack, of which the caliber is in the S tier, I literally die, or have all my mana depleted and leave me unable to use my domain expansion.

This really is a bothersome enemy. I expect nothing less of a former American.

First of all, I need to get Monologue Boost going, and I'll throw Regieleki out too while I'm at it.

Making a tactical retreat, I flew down to somebody nearby, forcibly grabbing him by the neck. He was probably some type of clone of a European man, so I didn't really care for his wellbeing.

With my other hand, I tossed out Regieleki. When he finished manifesting, I told him, "California! Delay Vagisilious!"

California jumps into battle, and I quickly start talking to the guy I have in my hands while running at the same time, "Hey, I get more powerful if I tell you about the abilities that I have!"

[Monologue Boost has activated on [Monologue Boost].]

"Hey, I can do a domain expansion that shoots everyone I attack inside!"

[Monologue Boost has activated on [Domain Expansion: Revolutionary Battlefield].]

"I deal more damage against gods and can pierce all of their godly defenses!"

[Monologue Boost has activated on [Devourer of Gods].]

"I can use souls to fire an arrow at people!"

[Monologue Boost has activated on [Soul Ballista].]

"I can heal myself with holy magic!"

[Monologue Boost has activated on [Holy Heal].]

"I can chase people for however long I like!"

[Monologue Boost has activated on [Unrelenting Chase].]

"I have telekinesis!"

[Monologue Boost has activated on [Grand Telekinesis].]

"If I'm near death, my body will move to survive!"

[Monologue Boost has activated on [Cling to Life].]

"I get stronger when it's day!"

[Monologue Boost has activated on [Sunshine Power].]

"My guns are stronger when I get rewarded for shooting them!"

[Monologue Boost has activated on [Hired Gun].]

"I can make people scared!"

[Monologue Boost has activated on [Overwhelming Darkness].]

"I can make a shield using souls!"

[Monologue Boost has activated on [Soul Shield].]

Looking back at the fight, I had half a second to see that Regieleki was somehow restrained by something invisible before Vagisilious erased Regieleki off of the face of the Earth.

[California has fainted! California has returned to your Pokeball.]

Oh, good to see that California isn't dead yet. It's a shame he's out of the fight so soon, though.

Dropping the random dude, I turned back around to face Vagisilious by jumping into the fly and starting to hover, "You know, I just want to know, what state were you from?"

Vagisilious blinked, then she answered with mild curiosity, "California?"

Are you fucking kidding me.

I loudly groaned and moaned, "Holy shit, I love my state, but why do we get saddled with all of the fucking mentally ill morons?!"

I don't even have to ask Vagisilious to know if she was a fucking communist or not. Because I know without a single doubt in my mind that she's a fucking communist.

Again, California is the best state of the union. But God, why did it have to be saddled with the most anti-patriotic Americans in the entire union?

"I bet you're the type of person who didn't vote for Hillary back in 2016 because she wasn't progressive enough, weren't you? You're the entire reason why America's stuck in another civil war in the first place!" I ranted, taking advantage of the fact that Vagisilious seemed to be in stunlock.

Maybe she could hear these words and better herself on being a better American patriot instead of stupidly declaring she cut ties with the greatest country in the world.

Vagisilious tilted her head like a child and tried to tell him, "There's no civil war, though?"

Oh, so Vagisilious was genuinely mentally challenged. How could she not know? He might've died on the first day of the civil war, but at least he knew that there was a civil war.

I sighed, disappointed in her, "Great, you're a chronically ill-informed child."

She was better off dead.

Flying higher, my next strategy was to use really big and scary looking spells to spook Vagisilious into activating some spells that would help her to break my domain early, preventing her from doing it to my domain later.

Activating [Darkness Overflowing] at the same time as my [Soul Ballista], Vagisilious hesitated for a few moments as I charged up my attack to look as scary as possible using the spare souls of fear that I have in my inventory.

Firing off my Soul Ballista, Vagisilious woke up from her fear just a moment before I landed a hit on her.

Vagisilious screams as my attack pierced through her body. A moment later, she teleports away.

Laughing, I mocked Vagisilious, "C'mon! Haven't you heard of dodging?!"

That actually wasn't the ideal scenario. Because instead of Vagisilious using up a limited resource, she instead just took the hit and healed without consequence.

This really hammers in the point that I really have to either kill her in one hit, or bring her into my domain expansion where

Vagisilious glared at me and shouted back, "Dodge this, asshole!"

Intricate blue rings suddenly formed around her, and just by pure performance alone, I could tell that this was her special move.

I grinned.

She fell directly into my trap.

I pulled out the Everburning Flame outside of my inventory and dropped it into the city below.

The fire quickly spread, burning everyone who touched it. And since it's my flames, their souls are all going towards me.

Using those souls, I conjured a massive shield around my body, ensuring I wouldn't be harmed by anything coming my way.

A moment later, a massive flash of light erupts from Vagisilious, and everything begins to disintegrate.

Including me.

The atoms composing my body unraveled, and soon enough, my physical form was gone as it was just my spirit remaining.

I should've died at that moment. I underestimated Vagisilious's might, and I should've paid the price for it.

But the flames of ambition and the dominoes under my control of both destiny & destruction refused.

My body forced itself back together, losing nothing in the process.

Vagisilious had turned around to look at the fires spreading, thinking she had won. But she underestimated the American spirit.

Honestly, I underestimated it too. I actually didn't expect that to happen. But I guess miracles do occur sometimes, huh?

Taking advantage of Vagisilious's current unawareness, I stretch myself a bit to get used to having died an unconventional death before being revived because of the influence of the foreign soul in my body.

Then I casually called out to her, "Hey."

Vagisilious literally freaked out when she quickly turned around and saw me levitating in the air.

"How?" Vagisilious croaked out in fear.

I smiled, "The pure, American spirit."

Nothing in the world can stop an American. It's time to remind Vagisilious about her roots.

Tilting my head, I asked for confirmation, "But that was your strongest attack, right?"

Vagisilious didn't answer, and that was all I needed.

I saluted.

"Domain Expansion."

The surrounding area is quickly encapsulated by the daylight sphere that was becoming my domain, the sound of gunfire, trumpets, and of cogs spinning fills the area as the sphere was completed and we were in Washington D.C.

"Revolutionary Battlefield!" I finished.

Vagisilious looked utterly baffled as she looked at the capital of the United States, reveling in its glory.

Hm, now that I think of it, my passive ability to detect souls keeps flaring up whenever Vagisilious uses her spells.

Does she use her own soul to fuel her attacks? In that case, let me just take a moment to take advantage of Vagisilious's new stunlock and my boosted power inside of my domain.

Spell Created: Restrain Soul

[Restrain Soul - Restricts a person's soul from acting. Does not restrict movement unless their body is tied to their soul.]

Great! Exactly what I needed.

"Hey, Vagisilious, did you know I can restrain people's souls now?"

"Wha-"

[Monologue Boost has activated on [Restrain Soul].]

Quickly activating my new spell, Vagisilious's eyes widened as she suddenly grasped herself trying to understand what just happened.

At the same time, I brought out every single gun out of my inventory and used [Grand Telekinesis] on them to point them in her direction.

"Goodbye, Vagisilious. I hope you learned something about being an American today," I solemnly said, "I hope you can become an American again."

It was always a shame to lose an American. But one day, I hope to see Vagisilious embrace herself for what she truly is.

An American.

Squeezing the triggers, hundreds of bullets began to descend upon Vagisilious, tearing her apart.

Vagisilious started to scream and curled into a ball as she suddenly began to glow and heal herself rapidly.

I seemed to have miscalculated, Vagisilious still had access to her healing despite it clearly being weaker.

But the only reason why I'm winning this interaction was because Vagisilious didn't have a lowered sense of pain tolerance. She can't act beyond healing herself because the pain is getting to her.

But I know that she'll get used to it sooner or later, and I'll have to fight against a more bloodthirsty fairy.

So, I need to kill her in one hit. That's the only way I can get past her healing.

Moving my arms in the form of a bow, I charged up another Soul Ballista.

The fire was still devouring all in its path and feeding souls into me. I'll just use all of it right here and now to end this fight.

A massive ballista formed in my arms, pouring everything into it, even my own divinity, and Vagisilious began to stand up despite bullets still making its way into every part of her body, with every hole being healed over.

Vagisilious and I made eye contact.

Vagisilious had defeat in her eyes, and I briefly stopped my attacks.

Vagisilious confusedly looked at me, and all I told her was, "You're an American, aren't you? You're standing, don't let that stench of defeat reach your eyes, it's unbecoming of you."

Vagisilious hesitated for a moment, as if she didn't know what to do. But then she stood tall with her head high.

The cogs of the universe shifted as Vagisilious rewrote the laws of the universe and declared, "My Next Attack will Kill you."

I laughed at the blatant reality shift that just happened, happy that Vagisilious really had the American spirit within her, "That's the spirit!"

Vagisilious somehow broke out of her restraints, but that was totally fine. I was going to just fire once, and she'll fall dead.

Vagisilious fired off six beams of light once more.

I fired my Soul Ballista and the rest of the city fired with me.

The Soul Ballista clashed with the six beams of light, but because of Vagisilious's lapse in concentration because of the bullets in her back, the beams of light somehow let Soul Ballista through.

Soul Ballista hit Vagisilious dead-on.

Vagisilious's six attacks hit me dead-on.

We were both utterly consumed by light, signaling an end to the battle.


[Messaging: Fuse to Taiclet]

Fuse: Lmao I got my ass kicked but I technically won first so I got all the rewards.

Taiclet: LMAOOO.

Fuse: Yeah yeah stfu.

Fuse: By the way, thanks for the cold steel bullets. Came in clutch. Put her in stunlock.

Taiclet: A Lockheed Martin guarantee! By the way, I'm cashing in that favor already. I wanna see you get your ass kicked.

Fuse: Dick.

Fuse: Wanna see me open my gacha tokens.

Taiclet: I will be there. Bring Dori & Angeles along too?

Fuse: Kk.

Fuse: Oh wait I lost my godhood just now lol. I used it for my final attack, but it decided now was a good time to finally die out.

Taiclet: Nice. I'll be sure to point and laugh at the fact that you're normal again.

Fuse: And I'll point and laugh at you for still being a fake god.

Taiclet: Fair.

Fuse: Anyways, coming right now.


Bonus Story (Super Non-Canon) (And also the same between both chapters)

Bonus Story 1

The Waiting Room

Plaze, a robotic demon with a Green, red, and blue color scheme, the Overlord of games in hell, and Mehira, a purple succubus in witch's clothing, the Overlord of connections, entered a white waiting room.

They were here to be admitted into Skryb's folder of "Fics that I'm working on." And they were currently waiting to get their letter of admittance.

Plaze had a huge smile on his face, "Mehira, can you believe it? We're finally going to get our fic! April is going to be our month!"

Mehira was less enthusiastic than her partner, but she was still excited as she nodding along, "Yeah, it is going to be our month. We're going to overtake what's-her-face as the star child of Skryb's portfolio, isn't that right?"

Plaze smugly smirked, "Yeah! Time Capsule doesn't stand a chance against Game Development! Hazbin is a much bigger fandom than Overlord! We're going to get all of the kudos and followings!"

Plaze went up to get his placement, which was listed as "Written after Momonga's Spellbook."

Plaze frowned at the words on the slip of paper, "Written after… Momonga's Notebook? Seriously?"

Plaze looked towards the other person in the waiting room, which was Momonga, "Hey, is the next fic yours?"

Momonga looked at him, "Yes, that would be me."

Plaze sighed, "Ugh, fine, I'll accept that. You're a one-shot, right?"

"Exactly right."

Mehira shrugged, "Then it's fine, Plaze. Skryb will butcher him in an afternoon, and we'll get ours done to perfection."

Plaze accepted this line of logic, "Alright then, that's cool."

The Public Speaker suddenly shouted out a horn noise as it loudly announced, "NOW WRITING: MOMONGA'S SPELLBOOK."

"See you later, Plaze, I'll be sure to remember this encounter using my Remember Conversation spell that I got from Zoomarion." Momonga said as he entered the writing room.

Plaze got back to Mehira, and then he explained to himself, "Alright, we're next after that dumbass gets his. Ooh, I wonder what the title of my first chapter is going to be…"

Mehira chuckled, "It's probably going to be something like 'Welcome to Hell.' you know? Because you're the main character and I'm the love interest."

Plaze nodded, "You're right, you're right. Then what should the chapter where I rename myself Plaze be?"

"Plaze, probably," Mehira answered.

"You're right, you're right."

Then, another duo entered the room. It was another Momonga and some girl neither of them recognized.

Plaze tilted his head due to the lack of eyebrows and eyelids on his body, "Who the hell are you guys?"

"Oh, I'm Ainz," Ainz greeted, "This is my wife, Furina."

Furina waved at them, "Hello!"

Plaze couldn't blink, but he could shut off his eyes to mimic blinkings.

"Skryb, making a romance fic? Pssh, yeah, right. Go ahead and get your ticket, but know that neither of you guys are getting your stories published anytime soon," Plaze arrogantly stated, jabbing one of his rainbow fingers in the direction of the ticket booth.

Furina got her slip, and she read it out loud, "Ooh! We're going to be written after Momonga's Spellbook!"

Plaze and Mehira snapped their heads in her direction.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Plaze looked down to the slip in his hands, "We're written after-"

Their slip was suddenly changed to "Written After Fake It Until We Make It."

"Huh?" Mehira dumbly said, "How? What? Why?"

Plaze couldn't even comprehend it. Why the hell were they being sidelined for a short romance story that was cooked up while Skryb was high in the shower?

Ainz nervously laughed, "Haha… No hard feelings?"

Plaze's internal engines loudly whirled, making a guttural mechanical noise that was pleasant to nobody.

Then, Plaze went silent, as he steadied himself and brushed off the skirt that came with his body.

"You know what? I don't care," Plaze stubbornly said, crossing his arms, "Go ahead, get written first. We'll be better, nobody likes crossovers anyways."

Ainz and Furina looked at each other, and both silently agreed not to piss the two of them off.

Mehira was sporting a deep frown as she muttered, "Romantic pieces of shit…"

Plaze hugged her, "Romantic pieces of shit indeed, fuck em. I'm going to leave a nasty hate comment on their first chapter without even reading it."

As they were nursing the wounds left by their delay, another duo came in the room.

Then 41 more people came in the room.

Plaze lashed out, "ALRIGHT WHAT THE FUCK SKRYB?! WHO EVEN ARE THESE GUYS?!"

The duo, an elf man and woman, spoke first, "We're a 10 chapter shortfic that ends with us dying in a bait and switch."

The 41 spoke next, "We're a 41 Supreme Beings fic, but without the Nazarick. We're a crackfic."

Plaze and Mehira both transformed into their full demon forms as Plaze loudly announced to everyone, "SKRYYYYB! I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL THESE IDEAS RIGHT HERE! THEN WHEN I FUCKING CATCH YOU I'M GOING TO KILL YOU TOO! SKRYYYYYB!"

The waiting room descended into chaos as the battle erupted between the 41 Supreme Beings of Ainz Ooal Gown plus 2 random people and the 2 Overlords of Hell.

Furina looked at Ainz, and they both just shrugged and decided to not get involved.

The Public Speaker suddenly shouted out a horn noise as it loudly announced, "FINISHED MOMONGA'S SPELLBOOK. NOW WRITING: FAKE IT UNTIL WE MAKE IT."

"Oh! That's us! Ainz, let's go!" Furina excitedly dragged Ainz to the waiting room.

Ainz laughed, "I understand why you're so excited, but slow down!"

The duo entered the writing room as everyone else didn't even notice due to the fighting.


Bonus Story 2

Skryb's Works Tier List

"Hey y'all, it's me, Vagisilious from Time Capsule here. I'm here today with Fuse from Manifest Destiny to rank all of Skryb's garbage fics today." Vagisilious, the little fairy, introduced herself to the imaginary audience as Fuse, American patriot extraordinaire, sat criss-cross applesauce on the chair next to her chair.

Fuse's chair was, of course, American made, as he made a peace sign towards the imaginary camera, "Yeah, like she said. Skryb's made 17 garbage works at the time of writing, and I can't imagine he'll write anymore, so let's get to it."

"You wanna start from the bottom or top?" Vagisilious asked, leaning back as she held the flash cards in her hands.

"Bottom, obviously." Fuse quickly answered.

Vagisilious nodded as she revealed her pick for the worst fic in Skryb's arsenal.

F Tier

In Search of Quirks

Fuse snapped his fingers, nodding, "Oh yeah I agree with that."

Vagisilious nodded as she elaborated, "Yeah, Skryb was definitely in his 'if it's edgy it's good.' phase when he wrote this. This is like, basic human experimentation with nothing substantial to it, right?"

Fuse shrugged, "I don't know, I haven't read it."

Vagisilious laughed, "Hahaha! Yeah, that's fair. Unfortunately, I have, so I can tell you that it's garbage and nobody should ever read this. It's not even that interesting."

Fuse hummed, "Actually, I read the reviews on FFN for that fic, and there's this one guy just theorizing ways to make it more messed up."

Vagisilious chuckled again, "Wow, really? How-" She immediately regretted asking so she quickly fixed her sentence, "Actually nevermind, don't tell me how. Let's just call this the worst and move on."

Fuse laughed, "Haha! Alright man. Go ahead and reveal your next pick."

F Tier

Freeloading Souls

"I think Skryb thought this was a cool idea, realized that his level of skill in writing angst was not even remotely close to what he needed to have to successfully write this, fucked up on like, chapter 4 or something, and decided to just abandon it," Vagisilious explained as she turned to Fuse, "Did I get that right?"

Fuse nodded, "Yeah, that's basically how it went. I thought Chorus was a pretty fire name for a main character, though."

"Yeah, Chorus is a pretty fire name for a main character," Vagisilious agreed as she read her notes on what to say for Freeloading Souls, then she chuckled as she read out a review, "I quote a review again on FFN, 'You do realize this is All For One but with no benefits, right?'"

Fuse nodded and chuckled, "Do you think that's the straw that broke Skryb's back with that fic?"

Vagisilious shrugged, "I have no idea. Anyways, do you think this'll get a rewrite?"

Fuse shook his head, "Nah, I don't think it'll happen."

F Tier

PvP Shorts: Pandora's Box

Fuse hummed, "Ah, I remember that one. Basically the MC of that lets Skryb's gang, Fair and Balanced Incorporated, into his world and screw things up, right?"

Vagisilious nodded, "And it's the first of the PvP Shorts! And yeah, it was trash again. I think it was a cool idea, just executed poorly."

Fuse rubbed his chin as he tried to remember what was in it, "Ah… There was that really edgy scene with Skryb and Zavvox just walking through a no-name town and killing everyone there with just their aura, right?"

Vagisilious put a finger on her chin as she tried to remember, "...I think so? That sounds really edgy and totally in character for Skryb to write, though."

Fuse nodded, "Yeah, still in his edgy phase, totally."

"Skryb never left his edgy phase, Fuse."

"I know."

F Tier

Is This Fair and Balanced? Absolutely Not! (Old Version)

"Ah, yes, Skryb's very first work," Fuse nostalgically said, "And holy shit, it's bad."

Vagisilious nodded, "Yeah, it really is. By the way, do you know what Skryb's author's notes were talking about when he said that in-universe Skryb was a bad character? Because his name wasn't mentioned in the fic at all."

Fuse hummed, then he snapped his fingers as he recalled, "Oh, yeah! I think Skryb put himself in there for shits and giggles, and a reviewer on FFN called MG called Skryb out on self-inserts being totally fucking worthless, and Skryb was shamed into deleting himself out of existence."

Vagisilious covered her mouth, scandalized, "Really!? Skryb having shame? No way!"

Fuse nodded, "Exactly! And then he made one chapter after that, and then canceled the fic 5 chapters in!"

"That is crazy," Vagisilious said, smiling, "We'd never end up like that, right?"
Fuse laughed, "Skryb is in my story. I think he's my endgame antagonist."

Vagisilious's face fell, "I'm so sorry."

Fuse nodded, "Yeah, I think it's over for me. Pray for my continuation to the end?"

Vagisilious clasped her hands in prayer and quietly whispered, "Oh, Lord in Heaven, Fuse requires just a spoonful of your infinite mercy and kindness…"

"God: Pulls out a comically large spoon." Fuse joked, getting a laugh out of Vagisilious.

Vagisilious coughed as she got back on topic, "Okay, anything else about this fic?"

Fuse tapped his chin, "I think the concept of an old god was cool, it was just in the wrong setting."

"Yeah, I think an old god manifesting itself onto a godless world would've been pretty cool to see play out, but it was a PvP fic, so it really couldn't last long," Vagisilious said, "Anyways, let's get to the next placement…"

D Tier

Replacement

Fuse was a bit surprised at Replacement's placing, "Oh, really? Replacement before the sequel to Zavvox's newer fic?"

Vagisilious nodded, "Yeah. I think Replacement was just Skryb writing without thinking about what to write, so all he did was write MHA but boringer."

Fuse hummed, then he tried to act as the devil's advocate by saying, "I like Doviro's whole internet shtick, though."

"The PvP Short about Doviro did it better, though." Vagisilious pointed out, "And it wasn't really a big part of Doviro back then, it was just relegated to a few short sections at the bottom of chapters, and a useless filler chapter."

"Ah, you're right." Fuse conceded, "Yeah, that sort of makes sense, but what doesn't make sense is how…"

D Tier

Is This Fair and Balanced? Absolutely Not

"This travesty called a fanfiction is above Replacement," Fuse finished, "Not that Replacement is good or anything, but it doesn't deserve this treatment."

Vagisilious defended her placements by saying, "Look, it's cool when Zavvox is a super incompetent moron because, you know, he's an old god. So it's funny. It's not as cool when Doviro, who's just a doppelganger slime, is an incompetent moron."

Fuse hummed as he thought about it, "Eh… I guess you're right, somewhat. But DTier? Really?"

Vagisilious shrugged, "I have everything from F to S. I'm using the entire board, even if technically, in the wider ecosystem of fanfiction, our S tiers are just mid C tiers or low B tiers if you're overly generous."

"Ah, well, I guess you're right." Fuse conceded, "Uh, more about this fic… Ah, I really enjoyed reading all of the patch notes, for basically all of Skryb's fics."

Vagisilious agreed, "Yeah, the patch notes were the best parts, no question. Honestly, everything that wasn't the patch notes were just filler until we got to the patch notes."

"Ehh… I wouldn't go that far, there were some things I enjoyed that weren't the patch notes," Fuse said, trying to remember something, "Like, uh… I don't know, reading Zavvox get his ass beat by what's her name, Akiya? That was fun."

"Oh! Speaking of Akiya, isn't the penalty for losing the match literally becoming the slave of the guy who beat you?" Vagisilious questioned, and once Fuse nodded his head, she continued, "Yeah, I'm putting money on Skryb having a slave fetish that he just never wrote for."

Fuse hummed, "You know what, that does make sense. I mean, why else would he make, I think all of his MCs go up against a girl?"

Vagisilious nodded, "Yeah! That's super messed up!"

Fuse then stared at her, "Huh, you're his first female protagonist…"

Vagisilious raised her eyebrow, "Where are you going with this?"

Fuse saluted her, "God save your soul."

"Alllright! We're not going any further with that!" Vagisilious quickly waved it off as she checked her notes on what to say next, "Uh, I think this is when Co-Op dungeons were made, right? I liked the Co-Op dungeons Skryb made, I think they were a fun way of finding out what the other players were doing. Not to mention Skryb put bonus stories at the end of his chapter detailing slices of life for the other players."

Fuse agreed, "Yeah, I really like it when other players that aren't the main character show up. Who's your favorite pick for a player side character? Personally, mine is Gruol. I think he showed up with Zavvox in the co-op chapter, after being name dropped for making like a thousand demons on the first day. Then I think in Replacement, it was revealed that Gruol's enemy was Corobos, who was the pyro archon from Genshin Impact, so Gruol ended up losing his fight and ended up acting as the dungeon boss in Doviro's first co-op dungeon."

Vagisilious blinked, "Uh, my favorite is… Uh, A, also from Replacement, because I liked the concept of a forgetful person in the clutches of that one evil guy from RWBY."

"Salem?"

"Yeah, her. Do you think A won her match?" Vagisilious question.

Fuse shrugged, "I don't know, I think Skryb forgot about her. Anyway, enough about this, let's move on."

D Tier

Developer Commentary (Old Version)

"What?! This is way too funny to be in D Tier!" Fuse immediately started to throw hands.

Vagisilious raised her hands in surrender, "I think it's funny too! I just think the new one is better!"

Fuse shook his head, "Have you read both of them? The relationship between Cereal and Jaeger in both versions was the funniest shit I've ever seen! This deserves a C tier ranking!"

"Developer Commentary doesn't deserve a B tier ranking, and I'm not putting both Developer Commentaries in C tier." Vagisilious firmly defended her decision.

Fuse crossed his arms, "Fine, I'll just have you know I want to punch you."

Vagisilious raised her eyebrow, "Between peak me and peak you, you don't beat me in a fight, I'm pretty sure."

Fuse tilted his head, "What? How do you know that?"

"I got the script of the ending that'll happen in like, 5 years," Vagisilious explained, "And, well, no spoilers, but I'm pretty sure I beat you in 5 years."

Fuse humphed, "Well, I beat you today, and that's all that matters."

C Tier

Developer Commentary

"Oh, you just put the new version over the old version? That's hilarious." Fuse said without laughing.

"I know, I'm a comedy genius." Vagisilious puffed out her chest.

"Your tits are tiny, why are you doing that?"

"Shut up."

Fuse decided to ignore her, but also decided to talk about Developer Commentary, "Personally, again like with a lot of Skryb's ideas, this was a great concept, but horrible execution. Cereal and Jaeger were comedy gold together, and Skryb did absolutely nothing with it."

Vagisilious said, "Yeah, also, Cereal recruited the hillichurl monsters to his company, right? And then they did nothing with them?"

"No, they were busy worshiping the meat god, don't you know? It's a very busy job that they had," Fuse pointed out.

Vagisilious snorted, "Meat god, heh."

"Also, Cereal's enemy had a yandere god on his side, right?" Fuse asked, getting a nod from Vagisilious, "Do you think he was a bottom or top?"

Vagisilious raised an eyebrow, "He was obviously a bottom, how is that even a valid question?"

Fuse ah'd, and waved towards Vagisilious "Fair point, moving on…"

C Tier

PvP Shorts: Y/N Dabi Clone

"Y/N Dabi Clone is C tier? Vagisilious, you criminal, he doesn't deserve this!" Fuse shouted, leaning over to her side.

"I need stuff in the C tier, man! And out of all of the PvP shorts, this is the one that I thought was kind of just the most eh." Vagisilious defended herself for the thousandth time that day.

"Y/N Dabi Clone isn't like other boys! It's hilarious and definitely deserving of the B tier!" Fuse defended the work of art.

Vagisilious shook her head, "Maybe if it was longer! It's just 1.6 thousand words of pure meh!"

Fuse pulled out his gun, Washington, and aimed it straight towards her.

Vagisilious wasn't impressed as she just pointed up, "We settled that up there."

Fuse reluctantly pulled down Washington.

"The gag about Y/N Dabi Clone not being like other guys was really funny though," Fuse defended.

Vagisilious nodded, "Yeah, that was really funny."

"And that final "shut the fuck up" was excellently placed," Fuse said.

"It was," Vagisilious agreed.

"And just his name was really funny." Fuse showed.

"It really is one of the names of all time," Vagisilious said.

"So it deserves B tier."

"No."

"Fuck you."

C Tier

Aura Liberation Gamer

"I think this one just suffered from Skryb's poor pacing abilities," Fuse gave his thoughts, then he continued, "But I think the idea was pretty cool. From MHA to RWBY, and bringing Moroes' ideas of liberation to that world."

Vagisilious hummed, "Yeah, it was a pretty cool idea. But it doesn't really make sense, does it? Because there's an in-universe reason for why nobody awakens everyone's auras."

Fuse tilted his head, "Is that fanon, or canon?"

Vagisilious shrugged, "I don't know, I haven't watched RWBY."

"I haven't watched it either," Fuse said, before continuing, "Anyways, yeah, Skryb's cooking abilities were showing its limits, and his limits were burning down the kitchen at record speed."

"Do you think Skryb learned anything about pacing from that fic?" Vagisilious asked.

Fuse opened the outline for Manifest Destiny, then he stared at her, "Nope. Does it look good for you?"

Vagisilious opened the outline for Time Capsule, then she stared at him, "Nope."

"We're doomed."

"Yeah, we really are."

Fuse hummed, "You know, did Skryb even watch RWBY before making his fic take place in RWBY?"

Vagisilious shook her head, "No, I don't think so. Which, I have to say, is a pretty bold move."

Fuse agreed with the sentiment, "Yeah, that is pretty bold and brash."

Vagisilious snapped her fingers, "More like belongs in the trash!"

They high-fived each other, "Eyyy!"

As they calmed down, Vagisilious checked her note card, "Oh, I think this one got hit by the kudos bot on Ao3…"

"My man." Fuse proudly nodded for no reason.

Vagisilious raised an eyebrow, "What?"

"My man." Fuse repeated, not elaborating.

Vagisilious sighed as she moved on, "Anything we liked from Moroes?"

"I think that guy is the reason why I exist," Fuse said, "I think he threw the domino in my direction."

Vagisilious tilted her head, "Dang, I don't know whether to thank him or not for that."

Fuse pointed Lincoln at her, "Thank him for making me exist."

Vagisilious frowned, "You know I can just heal that, right?"

Fuse groaned and whined, "I fucking hate healers, man. They're not fun at all."

"You're literally a priest."

"It's different."

"It's really not."

CTier

PvP Shorts: Together in Nazarick

"Do those guys show up in Time Capsule?" Fuse asked.

Vagisilious snorted as she quickly denied, "Oh, of course not. That wouldn't make any sense."

Fuse hummed, "I think the concept is pretty cool, and the way it's executed wasn't the worst."

Vagisilious nodded, "Yeah, that's what I think too. I liked the cafeteria scene, and I was kind of disappointed Skryb didn't do a second rendition of that later in that short."

"Yeah, the cafeteria scene was pretty good, but honestly I just liked Momonga freaking out." Fuse said.

Vagisilious chuckled, "Yeah, that was pretty good."

Then Fuse said, "I think it would've been a good idea to have a nod to those two in your fic."

"But the lore implications!" Vagisilious pointed out.

"Screw the lore, I think it's fun."

B Tier

PvP Shorts: Pyrovision Vs Speedrunner

Vagisilious put a finger on her chin, "Do you think Skryb watched this anime either?"

Fuse laughed, "Absolutely not." Then he moved onto the short itself, "This one is just pretty funny. The idea of a guy just named the letter 'a' and someone named Walnut going up against each other is pretty funny."

Vagisilious nodded, "Yeah, I especially liked a's scenes where he's doing all of these ridiculously named techs that obviously don't exist anywhere else."

Fuse chuckled, "I liked it when the uh, canon characters were just getting their asses kicked by the mentally ill girl, Walnut."

"Yeah! Walnut named her shadows ball 'magic balls of shadows' like that's going to change anything!" Vagisilious lightly laughed.

Fuse straightened himself in his chair as he overly seriously said, "Behold, my magic balls of shadows!"

They both laughed, as Fuse then moved on, "Anyways, I enjoyed Walnut just soloing the entire DxD verse and whats-her-face, Rias, crying about it."

Vagisilious nodded, "And then getting B-hopped by God."

Fuse nodded, "And then getting B-hopped by God."

"I also like the subtle dissing of China," Vagisilious mentioned, "I honestly don't know why people call Xi-Jiping Whinnie the Pooh, but it's hilarious."

"He's Chinese, Whinnie the Pooh is a bear, duh." Fuse answered.

"Fuse, that's just racism." Vagisilious wasn't very impressed, but Fuse just shrugged in return, so Vagisilious decided to just ignore it and move on.

B Tier

Momonga's Spellbook

Vagisilious blinked, "Huh, this was literally released… Yesterday."

Fuse chuckled, "That idiot. Couldn't hold his shot, huh?"

Vagisilious raised an eyebrow, "Weird way to phrase that but okay. Anyways, this fic, in my opinion, is worse than the inventory one. Mostly because of the ending though."

Fuse said, "Eh, I dunno, I kind of liked the ending. Especially when Skryb literally used a line break to make the Mom/onga joke."

Vagisilious nodded, "Yeah, that was funny. But everything else was just kind of mid."

"What about the legos?" Fuse questioned.

"That," Vagisilious paused, thinking it over before answering, "Was very funny."

"Wanna play with legos after this?" Fuse offered.

Vagisilious shrugged, "Sure, why not. Anyways, moving on…"

B Tier

Momonga's Inventory

Vagisilious chuckled, "Ah yes, my anti-review item. I haven't used this since the Heian Era."

Fuse tilted his head, "I don't get it."

Vagisilious looked at Fuse oddly, "What? How come? It's not that hard to understand. It's funny because of the absurdity of just bringing out an item that just so happens to fix whatever issue you're having."

Fuse shrugged, "I don't really find that funny."

Vagisilious stared at Fuse for a long and tough moment, before she pointed at him and accused, "Aha! You don't like it because you also get items that conveniently solve every issue you're having!"

"I beat your ass not a moment ago, I can do it again."

B Tier

PvP Shorts: Glump (Evil)

"Skryb has always been a sucker for social media fics, huh?" Fuse mentioned, "Must be why his social media fic is the best PvP short."

Vagisilious nodded, "Yeah, I agree with Skryb, honestly. Seeing normal people's reactions to stuff is awesome. I like seeing their looks of disbelief."

Fuse hummed, "Hm… I don't think I have much of that in Manifest Destiny."

Vagisilious shrugged, "I only had the Yggdrasil forums, and then I have like a few scenes of people's reactions here and there. We can't just be all world-building."

"But do you know what the funniest part about this fic is?" Fuse asked, and once Vagisilious shook her head, he revealed, "The funniest thing isn't the fic itself, but the singular review it has on FFN, where it's a guy named "bluepotata" with a star platinum profile picture whose review literally just reads out 'funny.'"

Vagisilious snorted, "Funny."

Fuse nodded, "Yeah, absolutely hysterical. What's also hysterical is how this four thousand word short completely blows the original Replacement out of the water."

Vagisilious agreed, "Yeah, but that's mostly because Glump is just crack, and crack is a lot easier to do than whatever the heck Skryb was trying to pull off with Replacement."

Fuse agreed with the sentiment, "Yeah, definitely. By the way, if you put Manifest Destiny into A tier and Time Capsule into S-tier, I'm going to fight you again."

A Tier

Manifest Destiny & Time Capsule

"Oh, wait, you just put them together?" Fuse looked at her oddly, "Why? Who goes into S tier, then?"

"The fic that goes into S tier is whichever one is graced by the heavens and finishes first." Vagisilious said, then she realized, "Wait, you upload bi-weekly… Nevermind, the fic that goes into S-tier is the more popular one when it finishes."

Fuse was about to argue, but then he realizes, "Actually, that's fair. I'm multi-fandom anyways, so I'll get a wider range of viewers than your dead fandom."

Vagisilious raised her eyebrow once more, "You're a gamer fic, you're really unpopular in general. Not even mentioning the fact that you're political in a space that generally disdains real life politics. Especially with the way you keep bashing he-who-shall-not-be-named."

"You're a OC fic in a mostly dead fandom populated by people that mostly dislike OCs who'll click out of your fic on chapter 1 because of the way it's written and framed." Fuse countered, "You're in a similar spot as I am."

"Ah, that's fair," Vagislious conceded the point before boasting, "Well, I'd like to point out that on Ao3, my hits are almost 10 times your number, and on both Ao3 and FFN, I have way more kudos, bookmarks, favorites and follows, than you do."

"A temporary victory," Fuse waved it off, "I'll win in the end. It's the American way."

Vagislious snorted, "Tough luck, buddy. That's not happening with your quality of writing."

Fuse smiled beneath his mask, "Still readable, though, unlike your ungodly long chapters."

"My chapters are of perfectly reasonable length!" Vagisilious defended.

Fuse laughed it off, then asked, "By the way, did you lie when you were saying you were going to use the whole tier list? Because we still have nothing in S tier."

Vagisilious smirked, "I didn't lie, because what I actually have in S tier is…"

S Tier

Hot Fuse & Vagisilious sex fic

Fuse blankly stared at Vagisilious's 'I think I'm so funny' face.

Then, Fuse asked, "Isn't your endgame love interest going to be upset about that? Like, that goat guy? Uh… Ulbert?"

"Yeah, but this is a funny joke! He'd get it!" Vagisilious said, still smiling at her own joke.

Fuse then raised his hand to start counting up, "1, that's kind of weird and fucked up. 2, I don't wanna have sex with you, a 4 foot tall young communist looking fairy monster-"

"Communist?"

Fuse continued, "3, I'd only date Americans and you, by your own admittance, don't consider yourself an American. 4, Skryb doesn't like smut so he'll never write it. 5, fuck you."

Vagisilious's face fell as Fuse finished, then she said, "Aw, darn. Couldn't you have played into my joke?"

Fuse laughed, "Absolutely not."

Vagisilious tried her best to look as cute and shy as possible, her eyes looking down to the floor as her hands were behind her back, "Oh, please, Fuse? Can't you be funny with me just this once?"

Fuse hummed, then he made an X with his arms, "Nah, this section needs to end anyways, so I think I'll end it on my own terms."

Vagisilious dropped her act and asked, "Oh? How?"

Fuse stretched his limbs for a moment before beginning to rant, "Have I ever told you how much I hate Donald Trump-"

"WAIT NO STOP YOU'LL UPSET MY READERS!"

"If your readers support Trump they shouldn't be-"

"STOP! NO! YOU'RE DELIBERATELY SABOTAGING MY FIC BY INJECTING IT WITH AMERICAN POLITICS!"

"Trump is and always will be a traitor to America-"

"STOP! STOP! KEEP THAT IN YOUR OWN FIC! CUT! CUT! SKRYB! CUUUUT! HELP! SKRYB! HEELP MEEE! CUUUT!"

"Remember to vote Democrat in 2024-"

"THAT'S GOING TO BE OUTDATED IN LIKE A YEAR WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?! SKRYYYYB! HEEELLLLP! CUT! CUT! CUUUUT!"

"Remember to vote Democrat in every election-"

"THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT BETTER AT ALL! WHERE IS MY CUT LINE SKRYYYYB?!"


AN:

Fuse is, without a doubt, my funniest creation.

Anyways, happy April Fools! It's January 2nd for me right now, since I was kind of lazy and didn't want to write chapter 12 of Time Capsule or chapter 13 of Manifest Destiny, so instead I wrote the short story 1 for April Fools, and I'll write the actual fight probably in February.

Or maybe I'll write the fight when I'm feeling lazy again, who knows.

Anyhow, I'll get to the actual AN after I finish writing the fight.

X

It's March 3rd now, isn't it crazy how time flies?

Anyways, anyone actively reading Manifest Destiny (Of which I pity you slightly for) knew this result was coming. I literally told you it was happening.

Now, why did I have Fuse win? It's because I like Fuse more, that's it.

Fuse was a character inside of my own head for years, and though his American nationalism was a more recent development, it was still Fuse. And Manifest Destiny is the natural evolution of the style of fics, PvP Gamer, that I wanted to do. They are still my favorite fics in general, because I love that power fantasy of being sent to another world with a leg up on other people, but still having an equal to have a challenge against.

I came up with Time Capsule in the shower, and wrote the first chapter in 2 days, then published it on a whim.

I am still slightly bitter that Time Capsule is, in most people's eyes, even mine, better written than all of my other gamer fics.

I think I've managed to cope, though. And I'll get the last laugh in regards to Time Capsule anyways.

Once Manifest Destiny is over, I think I'll go back to trying my hand at a My Hero Academia PvP fic. No gimmicks, no really dumb decisions that'll leave both sides grossly overpowered compared to the setting, none of that stat sheet stuff, probably not even gacha tokens.

Just 2 people fighting for the fate of the world.

The journey will be long and difficult, but eventually, I'll make a PvP Gamer fic that I'll be able to confidently say "This is good."

X

If you want to see Vagisilious's PoV if you haven't already, it's chapter 21 on Time Capsule, titled April Fools.

Oh, and now that Fuse has won, I owe you an extra chapter somewhere.

Uh…

You know what? You guys can get an extra chapter on this fic's birthday, just as a treat. That's September 4th, by the way. And you know what, you guys can get an extra special chapter on the anniversary of my first ever fic, which is on August 14th.

Oh, by the way, I cooked up 2 MS Paint stuff.

(You know where it is.)

Ngl, I should've cut off the close-ups at the bottom, they're ass. But who cares, the terrible quality really adds flavor to it.

I'll see you all in 2 weeks. Next federal holiday isn't until Memorial day.