"What do you think?"
Noodle had left the bands West London home studio about an hour earlier, taking excited chirps of "It's ready!" along with her. The guys had all heard this, but being in various rooms on various floors, none had quite realised how long she had been doing it. Now she had dragged them all down to the buildings enormous underground garage, and was gesturing with both hands at what presumably was the source of the glee.
2D was the first to react, choosing to mirror her enthusiasm levels in lieu of any actual information.
"A car!"
"A pretty drab looking one at that" added Murdoc, who still wasn't best pleased for being woken up by Noodle's banging on his bedroom door for such a reveal, "I told you I can get new plates for the Geep if you're spazzing about all its violations."
The car was unassuming, if a bit secretive. A black saloon with tinted windows and a round front. The lack of badge or branding only added the inconspicuousness.
Noodle let her hands fall and reached into her jacket pocket. Seemingly in response, the car growled into life, headlights covering the guys in a cold fluorescence while it revved menacingly.
"Is it supposed to do that?" 2D asked between his fingers.
The three watched as the car reversed to a safe distance and began executing perfect looking doughnuts in the garage.
"Someone's in there?!" Russel exclaimed, half jogging to where the car was performing, "Hey pal, that's our car!"
"Russ." Noodle held out her free hand to stop him. "I'm driving."
"Ay? How you doing that then?" 2D squawked.
Noodle retrieved her hand from her jacket, now holding a small but sturdy looking remote control device.
"What this car is" She said, tapping the remote, "is the Fusion Pulse. Fully remote capability, only 5 of them in the world"
"Sounds like a razor" 2D thought out loud.
"Think I had a bird in Sheffield once who's first love was a Fusion Pulse" Murdoc mused, "didn't see the big deal until she tried it on me, and Hell's Bells-"
"Noodle," Russel cut in, "as your friend and as the dude that does all our tax deductibles, do we really need this?"
Noodle turned to their frontman.
"D, do you remember you saying how you wanted to try both driving and singing in a future video?"
2D looked at her, attempting to search for the memory. It arrived in his head with a triumphant jingle.
"Yeah. Yeah, yeah! And then I said it wouldn't look that good with me hands at 10 and 2 the whole time, and then Murdoc said why don't I try 6 and 9 and slapped the kebab out me hands."
"Did I? Doesn't sound like something I'd do, mate."
"Well this is how we solve it!" Noodle held the remote high into the air, "while you're at the wheel, someone else will be controlling the car so you can really—" she punched the air with a happy grunt for emphasis "—on the performance, y'know?"
2D's mouth curled into a grin. Russel removed his hat and rubbed at the first spot on his head to bald all those years ago.
"You know baby, in most music videos they just put the car on a big truck and convoy it around the city. This seems a little more dangerous than I'd like."
"You are a bore sometimes, Hobbs, do you know that?" Murdoc strode over to Noodle and gripped both her shoulders. "Noodle me old girl, this is an absolutely genius idea."
She raised an eyebrow at him, suspicious at the enthusiasm. "Thank you?"
"Just imagine it, 2D giving it all that in the front seat, then out of nowhere I swerve him into oncoming traffic! Brilliant!"
"And that," she pushed his hands off her shoulders, "is why you won't be driving it."
"Come off it! Who will then, you?"
"Well, I have been doing doughnuts this entire conversation."
The boys looked behind her. It had escaped them that the Pulse had continued to make tyre marks during their discussion. Noodle finally let go of a thumbstick and button she was holding simultaneously, and the Pulse came to an obedient stop on the opposite side of the garage.
2D squinted at the marks on the ground.
"What's that say?"
They cast their eyes over the additional marks made. It was clear enough that it spelled out 'NOODLE'
"Oh, and Russ?" Noodle drew the drummer's attention away from her handiwork. "That exterior? 100% primed bamboo. If you hit a fly, the worst thing that would happen is the fly would complain online about it. Promise."
Russel sighed, but he couldn't stop a smile forming. He nodded.
"Excellent." Noodle tucked the remote back into her jacket pocket and headed upstairs.
It was 2D's turn to cook lunch that day. Usually that meant packeted ramen with some frankfurters in if he was feeling fancy, but Noodle was still energised and volunteered to help chop up some greenery. Her jacket was off and strewn on the chair behind her.
"It says put the flavour packets in at the end" He read from the crumpled packet he'd recently retrieved from the bin. "But that feels like a waste of absorbtion, I think. Do you think?"
Noodle continued chopping, before realising she was expected to fill the silence. She looked at him and nodded. "Waste of absorbtion. Definitely."
2D nodded back and ripped open all 4 packs with his teeth, dumping them into the gently simmering pot. "Thanks for earlier, by the way"
"I'm so excited man, I'd been on the wait list for months, then I got the email this morning and I was like holy cow it's really happening, the video's gonna look so cool."
"Yeah, but I more meant thanks like… you remembered what I said. You listened."
Noodle tilted her head at him. He turned away and resumed stirring.
"…sometimes I don't realise people actually listen."
Noodle put the knife down.
"Hey."
He glanced at her. She looked serious.
"I'll always listen."
He smiled and nodded. Loud approaching strides echoed towards the kitchen, as Murdoc burst in. He held a small bottle of strange liquid in his hand.
"Right! I am not doing even one more day of that Uncle Kim's shop bought bollocks without at least adding some pizzaz."
"That's what the spring onions are for" Noodle said, gesturing at the chopping board in front of her.
Murdoc sneered. "Not like that. Move." Without further warning, he shoved 2D out of the way and emptied the bottle into the pot, before snatching the spoon and stirring vigourously, brownish splotches landing on the counter.
"Come on Muds, I got a routine, you're screwing with it." 2D whimpered.
Murdoc's response was to take a spoonful of the modified broth and shove it straight into 2D's mouth.
"Christ's sake Murdoc, blow on it for him at least!" Noodle yelled.
2D's squeaks of pain were soon replaced with an appreciative hum.
"It's quite good to be fair." He said after swallowing.
Murdoc took the spoon and pot and took it to Noodle.
"Try."
"What is it?"
"So suspicious." He took a spoon and gulped some himself. "See?" He held it out to her again.
"I trust it less now, if anything."
"Blimey, if I wanted to roofie you all I'd do it in your far too regularly scheduled bedtimes. It's saffron!"
Still eyeing him, Noodle approached the spoon and took a mouthful.
"…infused…"
She frowned, but noticing the taste for the first time, nodded and swallowed.
"…mescaline."
"Jesus Christ, Murdoc"
"Mild! Very mild! Do you wanna be able to stomach this twerps cooking or not? And anyway, I trust Sid when it comes to taboo ingredients, his bazaar's made my head spin on more than one occasion." He chuckled. "Well, I'm going for a slash. Shout me when food's ready. And don't tell Russ, he needs this most of all."
Murdoc slammed the door on his way out, leaving the pot on the counter.
Noodle and 2D both looked at it.
"Pizza?" She suggested.
He grinned. "I'll get it, I can grab a Euromillions on the way."
"You are literally in a successful band."
He stopped in the doorway and looked back.
"It's always rich people that win it, you ever seen the news?"
He murmured a bye and closed the door behind him. Noodle instinctively took her phone out and jabbed at it for a minute, then stopped.
"Russel really hated the last pizza place we used. Destroyed the loo. Should probably do chippy"
She jumped up, accidentally sending her chair toppling to the floor, landing back first. She regarded it for a second, then shook her head and ran out.
"Toochi, wait!"
In Noodle's jacket pocket, under the weight of the chair, the thumbstick of the remote faced a reasonable amount of force.
The Fusion Pulse reactively began to awaken.
The garage was the quickest way onto the street. 2D zipped up his jacket and had one hand on the door handle as Noodle caught up to just a few metres away.
"D, Russel might have something to say if we do Tino's again, if you know what I mean"
He giggled.
"I like how you think."
2D opened the door, stepped forward and frowned.
The pulse was tearing across the garage. Coming right for them.
He turned around to face Noodle.
"You doing that?"
It was the slowest few seconds of Noodle's life. It was as if the entire world had frozen except for the car, which only seemed to be getting faster. In just the 50 metres or so of the garage's length, it must've gotten up 40, 50 miles an hour. The usual quick-thinking, quick-talking girl vanished when she needed her most, only able to point and jumble together the 3 or 4 sentences she had wanted to scream.
"D LOOK NO!"
He spun round, just in time for the car to collide with him front first. It hit his knees first, buckling them backwards and lifting his bottom half into the air. That sent his top half swinging down like a sledgehammer into the bonnet, nose and skull cracking against the bonnet with a haunting echo.
The Pulse's journey ended at the doorway, the walls proving strong enough to prevent the runaway machine from continuing. The sudden stop flung 2D's body back into the hallway, ricocheting him into Noodle, the only thing that could've broken the shocked paralysis she was in. They landed with a thud.
The dizziness and echoed voices were immediate as Noodle groaned, the back of her head pounding from the impact with the ground. As she never wanted - but always imagined it probably would be - Murdoc's voice was the first she heard.
"What the bloody hell is that sodding car doing?"
Russel, however, was the first face she saw, as he stooped down and gently tried to hold her head in his hands.
"Noods? Talk to me baby, what's happened?"
He looked at the car, still furiously fighting to get through the door, wheels turning and engine roaring.
"Where's the remote, Noodle?"
She answered in a dazed slur.
"Kitchen…in the kitchen…my jacket."
"Arrggh!" Murdoc turned and leaped up the stairs.
Noodle coughed. "Is Toochi ok?"
Russel looked over at the crumpled man that was half in her lap.
"Holy shit."
Russel gently but quickly let go of Noodle's head and lifted 2D off, setting him down flat on the ground.
"D? You with me man, you alright?"
The car fell silent.
"Come on bud, give me something."
Noodle shifted herself to the wall, using it to prop herself up to a somewhat sitting position. Her blurry vision was starting to clear.
"Nah this ain't it Stu, this ain't your time brother."
Noodle noticed the pleading in Russel's tone. She blinked hard to focus vision and looked at 2D for the first time.
She let out an immediate, involuntary cry.
His nose was shattered, blood pouring down both nostrils and onto his shoulder from the position he had landed. Both knees were snapped, facing the opposite direction, with a small amount of bone showing through the left leg. But worst of all was his head, and while that department showed no blood, what was obvious was the clean split in half of his skull, one half sitting a few inches further back than the other.
He gurgled.
Murdoc came back down. "Ended up smashing the thing, sure they do replacement ones, eh Noods? Right, what's the damage this time? Got not more eyes to cave in, did he lose anymore teeth? I can say from experience that a crooked nose goes down a treat with the…"
Murdoc trailed off as he saw fully what remained of his long-abused friend.
"…girls…"
Noodle let out a sob.
Russel checked for pulses.
Murdoc rubbed the back of his head.
"That looks bad, mate"
After trying his neck, both wrists and his heart, Russel gave an aged, shuddered sigh.
Noodle tried to edge closer to them.
"Russel?"
Still on his knees, Russell looked at Murdoc. Then at Noodle.
"He's dead."
End of part 1.
