Luke's life had taken a weird turn, and he didn't know whether his exhaustion was making everything seem weirder because he was too tired to process the plainest of things, or if his fatigue was making things seem more ordinary than they really were, because his mind was already messing with him.
He wasn't on Tatooine anymore. Padmé said this was Coruscant, which should be impossible, but it certainly felt loud enough to be the center of the galaxy. He felt like he was being suffocated in a crowd of pure, unfiltered life. Padmé had said her friends could help, but going to their temple had made things so much worse. The noise got stronger, and though it wasn't really bad, and it actually felt kinda nice, it was completely overwhelming.
The people who called themselves Jedi tried to help him, but to get their help he needed to let them in his head, and it was too much. His instincts fought against it too much, and he was too tired and hurt to even think about how to make his instincts stop trying to protect him.
Things got more confusing, but also better, when Leia showed up. Luke could feel her, just like he felt everyone else, but she didn't feel intrusive and overpowering like the others. In some ways she felt a lot like Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen. Luke hadn't really noticed that he could feel them, because they were such a constant part of his life that their presence just felt like a part of him. A part that, even with the overwhelming noise around him, he missed desperately now that he couldn't feel it anymore.
Leia didn't fill the hole left by their absence, but it eased the loneliness. When she took his hand and seemed completely at ease with him even though they'd never met before now, Luke wondered if he eased a pain of hers as well.
When the two of them were left alone he thought that he could cope. He wasn't comfortable, and he didn't quite feel safe, but he felt like he could get through today, and even through the night. He could just sit here with Leia, not really doing anything, but then she turned to him with a fierce look of determination in her eyes, and he knew his peace wouldn't last.
"There are so many things we need to talk about." Leia said. "But we need to set some things straight. First and foremost, and you from the future too?"
Luke blinked. "Am I…what?"
Leia pursed her lips, looking just a touch impatient. "Surely you've noticed that things aren't quite right. We're surrounded by Jedi, even though the Empire killed them years ago." She gave Luke a careful look. "You know about the Empire, don't you?"
"Of course." Luke scowled. He may be from Tatooine, but they weren't completely isolated from the galaxy.
Leia relaxed slightly. "So you are from the future. I thought so."
"What are you talking about?" Luke asked. She sounded crazy, but so full of confidence that he couldn't dismiss her completely.
"I don't know how, but somehow we've been pulled into the past." Leia said. "We're in the time of the Clone Wars." It sounded impossible, but Luke had always been pretty good at knowing when people were telling the truth. Not just what they thought was the truth, but the actual truth. He could feel it ringing within him.
"Time travel." Luke said breathlessly. It was the kind of thing that people told impossible stories about, and to his knowledge it wasn't actually a thing. "That's so wizard."
Leia smiled. "It is, isn't it. We've been given a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and there's so much I want to learn about the Senate of the Republic." She took a deep breath and curbed her excitement. "But we need to be careful about this. I don't think it would be wise to tell others about our situation."
"Why not?" He didn't necessarily disagree with what she said, he just hadn't thought about it. She sounded so sure about something that people didn't have any experience with.
"This isn't our time." Leia said, as though Luke hadn't already known that. "We could be interrogated, or treated as though we're insane."
Luke could kinda understand it. Even back on Tatooine it had been dangerous to have any kind of inexplicable knowledge or power. It gave you an advantage, but it also put a target on your back. It was why Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru were so scared of anything abnormal he did. It just brought attention to him, and on Tatooine attention was never anything but bad.
But they'd already brought attention to themselves, without even trying. He didn't know anything about the Jedi Council, but they sounded like a big deal, and they seemed interested in Luke and Leia for some reason. Even the government was getting involved, if the presence of a senator and Chancellor were anything to go off of.
"The Jedi seem nice." Luke said. "I don't think they'd hurt us."
"They might if they were desperate enough." Leia frowned. "They're fighting in a war. If they find out we're from the future, they might want us to tell them what we know, to help them win."
Her tone of voice made it sound like that would be a bad thing, but Luke didn't really understand why. "If we can help them win, why don't we?" He didn't know a lot about the Republic, but he knew there were a lot of problems with the Empire. He didn't think the Republic could be as bad.
Leia's eyes widened. "Are you insane? We can't change the past!"
"Why not?" Luke frowned.
"You might erase yourself from existence." Leia said. "There are so many theories and hypotheticals about it. Every move we make can have completely unforeseen consequences."
Luke frowned. "I've heard that from some time travel stories. But I've also heard stories where the time travel was always supposed to happen. Where everything we do here is something that's already happened, because in the past we had already travelled back." He didn't feel like he worded it right, and Leia looked unconvinced and unimpressed.
"Stories? You're going to risk our lives because of things you learned in make-believe stories?" Leia raised an eyebrow at him. Luke felt his face burn.
"Don't act like you're better." He couldn't help but pout. "Your worries are based around theories that people can't really research, because as far as people in our time know, time travel isn't real. Those theories are just boring, fancy stories made up by people who want to sound smarter than they are."
Leia's face went red. "You don't know what you're talking about."
"Neither do you." Luke pointed out. She huffed and got up off the bed. She paced a bit.
"I really don't want to fight with you." Leia said. She'd brought her emotions back under control, and that just made Luke feel more frustrated because he didn't know how to do that. "We can discuss this later, but for now I really think it would be better to keep some things between us. Such as our full names."
Luke frowned. "Why?"
"Well, I for one have parents who would be on Coruscant around this time." Leia said. "I don't think it would be a good idea to let them know they have a teenage daughter."
"Yeah, maybe not." Luke could understand that, but then he realized something. "Wait. Maybe my parents are alive." Luke didn't know exactly when Grandma Shmi had died, or what year he'd been brought back to. For all he knew, she was also alive. He might be able to stop the Tuskens from taking her in the first place. She wouldn't be tortured and killed, and maybe his nightmares would finally end.
Hope welled up in his chest, so strong that he couldn't contain it. Leia looked at him, a look of understanding and slight pity in her gaze.
"They probably are, yes." Leia said slowly. She sat next to him again, taking his hands. "Luke, I know you want to see them, but what if by talking to them you convince them to never get married? Or to never have a kid? You could literally destroy yourself."
Luke knew she might be wrong, but she also might be right, and maybe it was too risky. He sighed, squeezing her hand. "I just wish I knew more about them. I don't even know my mother's name."
"Well, what's your father's name?" Leia asked.
"Anakin Skywalker." Luke said. Leia looked stunned, and there was a flash of recognition in her eyes. Luke sat up. "You know him." He remembered when Padmé had left the room, she'd gone to talk to someone called Anakin. He hadn't really registered it at the time, because his head was so full, but now it felt so clear. "He's here."
Luke shot to his feet. He wanted to go see the father that he'd always dreamed of meeting. He would have run right out of the room, but Leia held firm to him and pulled him back.
"Luke, no!" Leia shouted. "You can't just run up to him, say 'you're my dad', and expect things to be okay."
"Let me go!" Luke squirmed to try to pull away from her, but Leia adjusted her grip so her arms were around him. She held tight.
"No!" Leia insisted. "Not unless you promise to not do anything reckless." Luke didn't stop struggling. He only stopped when he heard her sniffle. He realized her hold on him was less of a restraint and more of an embrace.
"Please, Luke." Leia whispered. She sounded so upset, and he could feel her fear. "It's so dangerous. You have no idea. I don't want anything to happen to you. I couldn't take it. Please. I've heard you calling out to me for weeks now. I'm supposed to help you. I'm supposed to keep you safe. If something terrible happened, and I failed to keep you safe…" She trailed off with a whimper, and Luke found himself folding.
If there was one thing that Luke couldn't handle, it was to hurt someone who cared about him. More times than he could count he would do something he didn't necessarily want to, or he would give up something he really wanted, just because someone he cared for wanted something more.
He didn't know why he cared about Leia. He didn't know what she meant when she said he'd been calling for her. But he could feel how scared she was. She wasn't just spouting theories about time travel because she wanted to sound smart. She genuinely thought he could get hurt, and he knew she would blame herself if he did.
He sighed and forced himself to relax. He nodded, and Leia let out a shuddered breath of relief. "I know I'm asking a lot." Leia said. "I can help you learn about your mother, and you can even meet your father, but you need to promise me that you'll be careful."
"I'll try." Luke said. He'd always dreamed about having his father in his life, but it would be good enough to just have the chance to get to know him. It was more than Luke thought he would ever get.
Luke and Leia were still holding each other when the Jedi who went to get them drinks returned. Luke turned towards him and started when he realized that he recognized him.
"Ben?!" He had thought the man had looked familiar earlier, but he hadn't considered time travel as a possibility. Now he knew that this was Old Ben Kenobi, albeit younger and much less lonely.
Leia shot him a look and too late he remembered that they were going to keep things quiet, at least for now. He gave her a sheepish grin.
"I'm afraid I don't know who Ben is." The man said slowly as he set down a tray of drinks. He handed Luke his blue milk, and then poured some tea for him and Leia. "My name is Obi-wan Kenobi."
"Right." Luke nodded. "Sorry, you just…remind me of someone else."
"That's quite alright." Obi-wan smiled. "I'll be honest, you remind me of someone else too." Luke felt a rush of excitement as he realized that he could very well be talking about his father. Luke had always wanted to be like him.
"Now, if you don't mind, I have some questions for you." Obi-wan grabbed a nearby chair and pulled it closer to the bed, taking a seat. Leia sat up straight, giving him her full attention. Luke slowly followed their example. They were acting so serious.
"We'll answer what we can." Leia said.
"Am I correct in believing that you suddenly disappeared from your home and showed up somewhere new?" Obi-wan asked Luke.
"It's what happened to me." Leia said helpfully, though Luke already knew that part.
"I guess so." Luke said. It had all happened so suddenly. "I just kinda appeared in Padmé's closet." He was surprised she hadn't shot him where he had stood. He probably would have done so if he'd found a stranger hiding in his closet. Unless that stranger was a hurt or scared little kid who clearly just needed help.
Was that really how she had seen him?
"She brought me here." Luke said. "After I…I don't know. I think I might have pushed them, but I didn't touch either of them. She said the Jedi would be able to help me."
"You used the Force." Obi-wan said. He stroked his beard. "It's fortunate nobody was harmed."
Luke felt guilt churn in his stomach even though he'd done nothing wrong. "I didn't try to hurt anyone."
"I know you didn't." Obi-wan said gently. "The Force can be an amazing gift, but it's a powerful one. Without training, it can quickly get out of hand. That's why I'm going to do what I can to train you."
He sipped his tea. "I think it may be prudent to help you with your emotional stability. When our emotions run high, the Force can flow more easily through us, but it's harder to control."
Luke bit his inner lip. He'd been really upset when that push had happened. He'd been stressed about the nightmare, but also something else. He wasn't really sure what. It was as though all of the blinding light around him went dark, and he was suddenly surrounded by an intense cold. He didn't know why he'd felt that. It had come and gone so suddenly, he wondered if he'd just imagined it.
Leia rubbed her thumb across Luke's knuckles. "Have you been really upset these past few weeks? More than usual?" Luke nodded. "I think that's what I've been feeling. You were hurting, and you reached out to me, even if you didn't realize that's what you were doing. I felt it even when we were back…home." In their own time.
Obi-wan leaned forward. "Has something happened?"
Luke looked at his lap. What was he supposed to say? He'd been having those bad dreams of his, and it had definitely left him reaching out for someone, but he couldn't say that. It was just a dream. He was just being overly sensitive about something that had happened in the past, and he couldn't change. Talking about it wouldn't bring Grandma Shmi back. It wouldn't erase the memory of what had been done to her.
And Luke didn't think he could just get over how he had felt their hands all over him.
His throat tightened and he shuddered as he felt like he was going to be sick. Leia gasped and Obi-wan sounded like he choked on his breath. Luke looked at them and they were both looking at him with something like pity in their eyes. He felt humiliated and indignant.
"What?" Luke pulled his hand away from Leia's grip and wrapped his arms around himself.
"You're projecting your emotions into the Force." Obi-wan said. Luke felt all the blood drain from his face. Had he just made them feel that? It was horrible, and not something anybody deserved to feel. If these two had felt a hint of it because of him…
"You're hurting." Leia said. And you're scared, even though we're safe. What's wrong?"
Luke felt both relieved and disappointed at her words. Whatever he'd thrown into this Force thing had been vague at best. An impression. They didn't know what he'd been through, which meant they hadn't been subjected to it themselves. But it also meant that there was still nobody who understood how he felt, and he didn't have the words to explain it.
Leia and Obi-wan waited for an answer, but he didn't give it to them. Obi-wan let out a deep slow breath. "Perhaps we should just learn some basic shielding. If you aren't so open to the Force you won't be so overwhelmed, and you may not feel as vulnerable."
It wouldn't fix the nightmares, but if it could get the noise to quiet down enough that he could think, that might help.
Luke nodded, and Leia looked eager. They both sat up, and Obi-wan leaned closer to them. "This is a simple process, and it will soon be second nature. I'll walk you through it. Leia, you first." The two of them faced each other, and Luke watched carefully. Obi-wan took Leia's free hand.
"Close your eyes." Obi-wan said gently. "Can you feel my presence?" She nodded. "Good. Hold onto that feeling. I'm going to put a shield around your presence, and let you feel how it's done. And then you can try it yourself."
Luke only had a vague idea of what was going on. He felt awkward just sitting there as Obi-wan and Leia focused. They were just sitting there for a few moments, with him occasionally offering guidance or corrections.
Luke started to feel a little funny. It was a gradual thing, so it took him a bit to notice. It was like the loneliness that Leia had chased away was creeping back in, and with every passing moment it got stronger. Luke knew that nothing was wrong, but he reached out to Leia's bright presence anyway, trying to draw comfort from him.
When he tried to reach her he was suddenly blocked. He knew she wasn't gone. He could still feel her presence, but he couldn't touch it. It felt like being on Tatooine all over again, where he knew he wasn't alone, but he couldn't reach the people who could help him.
Luke felt a spike of terror. He didn't want to be alone. He clutched at Leia's hand and mentally struck out at the thing blocking him from her. It crumbled, and her presence filled him again. His relief was short-lived though as he heard a cry of pain.
Luke jolted and looked at Leia, who had pulled her hands away from him and Obi-wan. She was clutching at her forehead, wincing in pain.
"Luke!" Obi-wan didn't shout, but his voice was sharp. "You can't just tear down people's walls like that. You could have hurt her."
Luke's chest tightened and he felt like he couldn't breath. He felt Leia reach for him, but he shied away from her light. He didn't want to hurt her again. "I'm sorry."
"I-it's okay." Leia said. She slowly straightened. "I was just surprised. I'm fine." She was lying. She looked better, and maybe the pain was quickly going away, but it had definitely been there.
Luke slid off the bed and slowly went towards the door. "I'm sorry." It was all he could think to say. Obi-wan's eyes softened and he reached towards him, but Luke just took another step away. He didn't want to hurt anyone, but that was all he could seem to do with the Force. He was dangerous, and it scared him.
Obi-wan's eyes widened. "Luke, you are not dangerous. You're just untrained." But Luke didn't know if he wanted to be trained. Obi-wan had been showing Leia how to shield, and that was why Luke hadn't been able to feel her. He wanted to block out the extra noise, but he didn't want to push her out as well. She made him feel like he was going to be okay. Even before meeting her, when he'd just been subconsciously reaching for anybody, that had still been a comfort, because she had been there, somehow sending vague reassurances back to him.
Luke had felt alone, but he'd had hope that he wouldn't always be. If he and Leia were blocked from each other, he wouldn't even have that. And that was why Luke was dangerous. He knew that clinging to her could hurt someone, and he wanted to do it anyway, and he felt like a terrible person because of it.
Luke swallowed thickly and looked at Leia. "Y-you should learn how to shield." He was already panicking at the thought of losing her presence, but he couldn't be selfish. He didn't want to violently yank her shields down and hurt her. And he didn't want to project his sadness onto her. He barely knew her, and he knew that she deserved better than that.
"So should you." Leia said.
"I'll learn later." Luke said. He didn't think he had a choice. He needed to control whatever these powers were, but he wasn't ready to yet. He needed just a little more time.
"It may be simpler if I work with you one-on-one." Obi-wan said, though he didn't sound sure. "Though if I do that then maybe I should start with you, Luke." He felt a rush of fear at the suggestion. Obi-wan raised an eyebrow at him, though it somehow wasn't an unkind look. "What are you afraid of?"
He was afraid of these powers. He was terrified of his dreams. He was horrified at the thought that he was only having these dreams because of the Force, and that if he let it in then the dreams would just get stronger.
He didn't know enough about the Force, and he was scared of the uncertainty. He wanted change from how his life was now, but it also terrified him.
Luke didn't answer Obi-wan's question, but the man hummed thoughtfully. "Maybe some meditation would help all of us." He held a hand out to Luke. The boy stared at it for a long moment, and then he looked at Leia. She stared at him with pleading eyes. Luke didn't want to disappoint her. He took Obi-wan's hand and let himself be pulled back to the bed. He still didn't know how he felt about all of this, but maybe it was time that he trusted someone. Because he clearly couldn't do this on his own.
