Bella spent half of their lunch lost in thoughts of Paul and Jamie and what she could do to help their situation. Bella wished she'd paid better attention to things around the house now, worried about whether they had everything they needed.

When Leah asked about Jack, Bella realized she'd forgotten to call him after the bonfire.

"I'm sorry," Bella said, trying to clear her thoughts. "What did you ask?"

"Jesus, Swan. You're really out of it today," Leah grumbled. "Did Paul literally screw your brains out, or what?"

Bella blushed as she cackled and shook her head. "Yeah, pretty much. A lady from CPS came by this morning. I can't stop thinking about it."

"Yeah? Must have been Karrie," Leah said nonchalantly.

"So, you know her?"

"I know she wants your man." Leah chuckled. "He bitches to Quil. Quil tells Angie. Angie tells me."

Ah, the grapevine. "Paul is not my man." Bella absently shifted the food around her plate with her fork.

Sarcastically, Leah said, "Yeah. That kiss I saw earlier looked like he's 'not your man.' I think even Jamie could see otherwise."

Bella huffed. Despite her aggravation, she couldn't argue. They'd spent the entire night doing everything except telling the other, 'I love you.' Still, the sentiment was there. Just as she'd expected, she felt more twisted inside than ever. She felt torn between the relief and pain of leaving again and how terrified it made her that part of her wanted to stay.

Then again, no one ever said he wanted you to stay. Bella mentioned the divorce several times, and he'd never said he didn't intend to go through with it. And, she supposed, that with Jamie to care for, Paul planned to put his welfare first. And that was how it should be. That was what a parent was supposed to do.

Breaking through her thoughts again, Leah said, "Bella, I gotta be honest."

"What?" Bella let her fork clatter to her plate and pushed it away. "Tell me."

Leah raised her eyebrows as if to ask, 'Really?' She pushed her plate away and said, "If you go through with this divorce, you're an idiot."

Bella bristled as she sat back in her seat, frowning. "Why? For trying to protect myself? Trying to protect him and every single one of you from the cloud of shit luck that seems to follow me around?"

" Bullshit, Bells."

"How about trying to help him finally adopt his son by removing 'estranged wife ' from his adoption applications? Karrie asked him about it today."

"That's just cuz she wants to ride his dick, Bella." Leah leaned on the table with her forearms. "Ignore that stupid bitch and listen to me. Okay?"

Bella nodded for Leah to continue, and Leah took a drink of her iced tea before saying, "Jamie already adores you. That's pretty obvious. And Paul? He looks at you like the sun shines out of your ass. Everyone could see it last night. Everyone. Do you honestly think it would surprise anyone if you two got together after yesterday? And Bella… no one would care. Even Jake would be happy to have you home, regardless of who you're with. Especially after learning what Ed-"

"Don't," Bella interrupted her with a hiss. "What Ed put me through has nothing to do with anything."

"It has everything to do with everything, Bella," Leah said. Bella could see her step-sister's temper rising as she held Leah's challenging gaze. " He's the main reason you ran."

"Part of it."

" He was why you weren't with Paul this whole time like you should have been!"

The whole time? Bella asked, "What the fuck are you talking about? You know why I didn't come back here after marrying Paul."

Leah lowered her voice and argued, "I know why you married Paul, Bella. And I know why you left Edward. You told me!"

"What did I say?"

Bella's stomach turned as she waited for Leah's response. She still had no memory of her many confessions while drunk on her second night home. Leah glared back at her in disbelief.

"I don't fucking remember, Lee. You said drunk me remembers everything, but I don't."

"I don't believe that," Leah said bluntly.

"Believe whatever you fucking want," Bella snapped back at her. "I spent a decade deliberately trying to forget. Can you not understand that? I don't want to remember some of that shit. I have remembered a lot since coming home, but…"

Leah whispered, "You said it was because of Paul, Bella."

"What?"

What was because of Paul? What could she possibly have to blame him for aside from the awful things he'd said to her the morning she left him?

Bella's eyes welled with angry tears as she tried to remember what Leah was talking about. Thinking about Edward only filled her with anxiety and flashes of traumatizing memories, but the dots weren't connecting. They made it hard to breathe.

Leah's expression softened as she realized the genuine distress Bella was in. "What Edward did to you… was because he found out the truth about you and Paul. You married Edward because of the Volturi and didn't get together with Paul because it would hurt Jacob. Feelings for Paul existed long before that flight to Italy, Bella. You told me that."

Bella's eyes widened in shock as more memories of the first honeymoon slammed her. She had quickly learned how rough Edward could be when he forgot himself. Already stiff and sore from their awkward, frustrating, and ultimately failed first attempt at lovemaking, she'd woken confused by his sudden rage. She had dreamed about going home to her wolves, confessing her feelings for Paul in her sleep.

Edward felt blindsided, and justifiably so. It was then that he'd accused her of genuine infidelity, cheating in her heart and mind, regardless of her physical choices. Any feelings she might have had for Jacob, Edward had expected and even forgiven. But learning she'd been hiding her attraction to Paul and that he wasn't her preference after all finally shattered his long-dead heart.

Edward admitted he'd seen Paul's thoughts about Bella and assumed most were glimpses of Jacob's memories. Despite how Paul treated her and the constant tension surrounding them, the pull between them was always magnetic, unconsciously drawing them together. Too many times, she'd caught him watching her from a distance. Too many times, he brushed past her when there was plenty of room to avoid her, leaving her feeling nervous and her skin tingling where they'd touched.

She couldn't help but remember Paul's words the day before. 'I think we both know what happened the last time you slapped me in the face.'

Of course, she knew. Neither of them had ever been the same. Paul always cared about her. He kept it to himself, masking it with glares and bitter words, but the tender moments when no one was looking told her a different story.

Edward's revelation during that argument immediately put their attraction to one another into perspective for Bella. She had done the same as Paul, hiding her feelings, refusing to confront something as impossible as falling for someone like him - angry, volatile, and unpredictable - when her hands were worse than tied.

Because of her physical demands leading up to their wedding, Edward's anger about Paul, and his embarrassment over his lack of control, Edward tried to stake his last claim on her, once and for all. He ravished her again and again with little concern for her screams, fear, or pain. He held enough control to not bite her, but he'd shredded pillows in the process and destroyed the bed itself to prevent breaking her bones under his vice-like grip.

Afterward, Bella screamed through the pain as she curled her battered body into a corner under a broken bedpost and sobbed.

Disgusted with himself, he hissed, "And now you have what you wanted. Married to a monster." Gesturing to himself, Edward added, "I will never let you become this. I'll kill you myself if you try."

He'd left after that, abandoning her alone and injured on the island for days before the housekeeping arrived and helped her safely return to the mainland, where she got hospitalized for her injuries and severe dehydration. They contacted Carlisle and Esme, who were there the following morning via non-stop traveling and the help of a private jet.

The moment they saw her, Esme began sobbing. Carlisle did something she'd never expected - thoroughly and colorfully renounced Edward as his son. After everything Rosalie had been through, he'd known better - and it was unforgivable.

It took all her strength to allow Carlisle to touch and examine her. She had a fractured rib, stitches in places none should be, and deep bruising from head to toe. Physically, Bella would heal just fine. Mentally? Well, that was an entirely different story.

The Cullens tried convincing her to come home with them. She refused, however. She wanted to get far away from everything 'Cullen' as soon as possible.

Bella looked so battered and bruised when reaching the airport that security detained her, assuming she'd gotten kidnapped, mugged, or possibly trafficked. They'd tried to talk her into pressing charges, being seen by a physician, and more. She adamantly refused, explaining all of those things were already done. She booked the fastest trip to Florida she could and was knocking on Renee's front door two days later.

And none of that was Paul's fault.

Bella reached up to wipe away the tears on her cheeks. She hadn't even felt them falling.

More to herself than Leah, Bella asked, "Why would I blame him for that?"

"You didn't blame him. Edward did. And Paul knows all about it, doesn't he? He's the only one you told."

Bella nodded. She had told him, and he'd patiently soothed her tears through every harrowing detail. Paul had been so patient and kind with her that night… and then, drunk and reckless, Bella dragged him to her room to have one of the most fulfilling experiences of her life. She sobbed as other memories flooded her mind. Memories of his loving words and reassurance. Memories of his surprisingly tender touches after believing he'd hated her for so long.

Bella remembered his offer afterward to show her what a real honeymoon should be like. And until their argument began, he had. Until then, it was perfect. But then, he'd insisted on her returning to Forks, where she felt more unwanted and cumbersome than she'd ever felt before or since.

But she didn't feel that way anymore. The pack, aside from Devon, had made her feel welcome. And even though Charlie was currently upset with her, she knew how much her father loved her.

Exactly one week ago, Bella had booked a flight to Seattle to face the one person she was the most apprehensive to ever see again, confident in herself, her role in life, and everything she knew she didn't want. Now, Bella was entirely unsure. She couldn't claim that she didn't belong here anymore - even if Paul didn't want to continue their marriage, the chemistry between them remained. The pack was still her family, and she had gained a beloved, albeit abrasive, sister through the process.

What the fuck am I going to do? Bella sighed heavily and wiped away more tears, ignoring several patrons who pretended not to watch her meltdown through curious side-eyed glances.

Leah asked, "You ready to get the fuck out of here?"

"Yes," Bella said and immediately, shakily tried to stand. "I need to talk to Jack."

"That's probably a good idea," Leah said, nodding.

Bella waited for Leah to pay the bill as promised, dropped the she-wolf off at home, and cried the entire way back to her hotel.