Chapter 2 - Don't Talk

An hour passes or maybe two. My flawless internal clock has been on the fritz of late and I'm surprised to find it's half past midnight when Catherine Gayle emerges and walks to a ridiculously large SUV. Harm follows, of course, it's part of his chivalry that once was endeering and now I hate.

Even in the shadows I clearly see the kiss - the sweet, lingering kind - before he buckles her seatbelt, pats her belly and waits for Catherine to drive off. It's a dagger through the heart which hurts so much I can't breathe and the final nail in the coffin of whatever we could have had. What could I expect? That he'd wait? That he'd forgive me when I can't even forgive myself?

He's moved on.

And I have no business traipsing up the steps to his loft again or knocking so hard my knuckles would be bruised in the morning. He's shirtless and smiling when he answers and I'm shocked to see the added bulk to his figure that taper into a perfect 'V' disappearing into the waist of his low rise jeans.

"What do you want?" His smile fades and with it the butterflies in my stomach that plumet like stones. He's all anger and disdain but it's the soul crushing disappointment in his eyes that makes me blurt out a hasty "I love you" that I doubt he noticed.

"Mac..fuck!" It's primal the way he grabs me. Long fingers dig painfully into my wrist causing me to drop the keys in my hand. With a resonating clang they hit the floor and a moment later I feel my head and back crashing against Harm's closed door. Both my hands are captive above my head, held in place by one of his. My eyes burn from unshed tears and the fog in my mind breaks long enough for me to realize he's kissing me.

His lips are not soft or sweet, just rough and demanding - punishing because I know I deserve to be treated poorly by him. I should have pushed Harm away, kneed him in the groin and run as far as my legs would take me but, with his body pressing me into the door, I felt the hard proof of his arousal against my stomach. I know I can't just back away.

This will be the end of us, like an atom bomb honing in on the most catastrophic destruction. But I'm too preoccupied to care that once this night ends another woman will take my place with the child he once promised me. It's cruel and unfair but so was a stupid "deal" between two adults - the casual agreement to have a child like we might share an inanimate object.

That's when I kiss him back and open my mouth to accept his probing tongue. I don't want to think of what ifs when our timeline has already run its course. I'll take whatever the hell insanity has possessed us and hate myself in the morning.

His hands finally release mine but the battle had only just begun. They slide down the door, stop on either side of my head and I'm finally free to touch him. My fingers play with the fine peppering of hair across his chest, dipping down to run across the waist of his jeans. He kisses me again and it's not any less intense than before.

Somehow, his hands slipped up my flank, the buttons and sash of the trenchcoat I wore opened for Harm like magic. His eyes darken when they fixate on the light pink camisole beneath and before long the coat hits the floor and I'm raising my arms to help the cami come off too.

I'm wearing nothing beneath it and practically feel the heat of his gaze on my skin. I push my chest at him, dare Harm to taste and touch for a moment he looks interested but with a heavy sigh he merely sinks his fingers into the waist of my slacks and gives them a tug. "Off. Take them off." He demands and watches while I rid myself of every last stitch of clothing I have. "Not the heels. Put those back on."

"Okay. What about you?" I eye his jeans and the evident bulge begging for release. I lick my lips and the anticipation to taste him makes me wet, wetter than I've ever been. When I reach for him Harm roughly grabs my hand and holds it tightly. "Harm, I want to-"

"Shut up, Mac…Just don't talk. I don't want you to talk." He growls and drags me across the loft, up to his room.