Chapter 12 - Nothing

For a pilot who may potentially never fly again, Harm is in nauseatingly good spirits. The medical team's concern is the bullet and the fragments left behind that may impede a full recovery. He tells me he doesn't care and that his days of needing to be jettisoned off a carrier at Mach 3 was coming to an end. The ramp strike, a few ejections left him with chronic low back pain that is almost non-existent when he isn't crammed into a cockpit.

It seems genuine but I know, eventually, this will be blamed on me. I put him in Sadik's crosshairs by going to Paraguay and one day he'll wake up and realize what a mistake he made. Until then, he sits on the sofa, leaning forward while he studies the tiles of a Scrabble game we recently began.

Between the two of us, I'm amazed how many odd words we know but when he purses his lips I realize he has to reach for the dictionary. "You made that up." He waves his good hand at the board and groans as he reaches for the little paperback resting next to the board.

"Want my help?" He's fumbling with one hand, trying to flip pages while using his opposite arm - which is still in a sling - to hold open the booklet.

"No. I can manage just fine."

Only he can't but the man is trying as hard as possible not to act like an invalid. It's admirable but one of the reasons Chegwidden gave me a few days off was so that I could take care of Harm.

Nothing else has happened. Nothing. The two times Kershaw's people sent me to locations Sadik may have been, was all for naught. There was no sign of him and the only warning was that of a cache of diamonds left in the passenger seat of my car a week ago.

After a few minutes he finds the page and a scowl turns into the brightest of smiles. The word is correct. My spelling, however, is slightly off - I victory I gave to him the moment I placed the tiles on the board. "You're missing the 'h'."

"No I'm not." Feigning annoyance I snatch the dictionary from him and frown. "Damn, I guess I am. Well, it's silent so-"

He looks at me and slowly cracks that sexy, flyboy grin that makes my tummy do flip flops. No, I'm not immune to him although I tell myself that I am and can stop whatever this is whenever I want. "You did that on purpose."

"What?"

"Spelled it wrong." I want to lie but he immediately starts chuckling. "Your lip is doing that upturn thing, counselor."

"My tell."

"Yep. Although you got really good at concealing it for years."

I shrug. "I guess since we're not in court-"

Harm stands, flips the board over and asks me to mix the tiles again. "I need to use the head. When I get back, prepare to be dazzled." He's still a little shaky moving but I don't follow him. These small victories are a boost to his ego that Harm needs right now.

I am surprised by the buzz coming from my purse and the cellphone sitting inside. The caller ID flashes an odd number that I don't immediately recognize or answer until it rings again. "Hello?"

"Sarah." My name rolls off the speakers tongue indecently. It's far too familiar and I get both a chill down my spine and a nauseating feeling when a heavy accent says it again. "I missed you, Sarah."

"Sadik."

"Ah, yes. You remember me. Good. I hoped you hadn't forgotten."

How could I forget the man that tortured my, so called, protector? How could I forget the man that shot two missionaries in cold blood? How could I forget the man who ran a thick knife through the belly of a pregnancy suit I wore? How could I forget him when he haunts my dreams? How could I forget a man that nearly killed the one I love?

"I had but, it was hard to ignore your reminder."

Sadik laughs and the sound makes me feel dirty. "Your Commander is hard to kill. I blame myself for that. Motorcycles were never really a favorite of mine."

"It was you."

"Oh yes, this was too important for anyone else. By the glory of Allah, I'll fail no more." There's a crack that comes through the window followed by a silent woosh and another crack against the wall across from the kitchen.

I see the red dot if a laser pointer and my heart stops when the light stops on Harm's chest. He's smiling, oblivious that his life is about to end. My throat is too dry to warn him and I'm too far away to place myself in the path of the bullet.

Through the line I hear a click and close my eyes when I imagine another bullet breaking through the window. "Want something to drink?" The sound of pain and carnage, his body hitting the ground never comes and when I open my eyes, Harm stands by an open refrigerator studying its contents.

Sadik's laughter is malevolent and I nearly throw up when I notice the red dot reappear on Harm's forehead. "Maybe the head."

"What do you want? I'll do anything if-"

"I'm not sure-" Harm thinks I'm talking to him and hasn't realized the phone pressed against my ear. He pulls out a bottle of beer, shakes his head and puts it back on its shelf. "You like Perrier. We can split-"

"You lay with an infidel. Let him touch you like a whore. I'll stop that. I'll free you of his sins and yours. Allah will make it so but, you have to leave, Sarah. Go now and do not tell him who you are speaking to. And Sarah, if he follows, I will kill him."

The line goes dead and so does what's left if my soul. I don't say a word to Harm as he tries to use his one arm to hold two glasses and the bottle of fizzy water. I absolutely ignored him when he asked if I still wanted pizza. My heart cracks as I silently grab my purse and twist open the locks.

Without so much as a glance back, I leave and race down the steps with tears streaming down my face. I try to pay no attention to the way he screams my name or the sound of glass - the ones he was carrying - crashing onto the hardwood floor.