Two hours.
That is the most the Doctor could make himself sleep in one go. Two hours, and even that was a bit much for him.
Laying next to Rose as she slept however restlessly, eyes open, staring at the ceiling.
Were they aboard his ship, there would be an infinite number of things he could get up and do to occupy his mind until Rose awoke.
He'd fallen asleep before her for a change, his Rose wrapped tightly in his arms. However, upon waking, her dreams were once again a bit too much for him.
It wasn't completely that she was still dreaming about his former self.
It was that she'd float between dreaming about both of them; One dream about his blue-eyed, leather clad former body, the next dream his new self. All of them a bit... private... in nature. It felt like he was seeing something he shouldn't, even if he'd been part of it, being in her private subconscious like that. Rose dreamed loudly, any skin to skin contact, even just holding her hand, would put her visions in his mind. It didn't help that she often moaned aloud in her sleep either.
Some of these sleepy visions were memories. Their bodies intertwined in a dance of fire and passion- memories of just exactly where their growing child came from.
Others, the ones in which he appeared as he was now- he had to back away. It was a bit much for him just yet. He was still unsure on these new feet, much less comfortable enough in this new body to attempt to be with Rose.
In short, the Doctor was afraid.
Afraid he'd not be what she needed, nor what she wanted, when they did get to that point. He didn't want to fail her, or not be able to satisfy her.
The Doctor sat up and took in his surroundings, roughly rubbing his face with one hand. The lights from the Estate grounds poured in the blinds of the window of the flat, painting Rose and the room in a red-orange glow. He rubbed his eyes to better adjust his vision to the dim light. Rose's bed was pushed against the wall below the window, and she'd made him take the inside of bed, so she could get up during the night to hit the loo when needed, trapping him up against the wall.
Gently, the Doctor nudged at Rose, who gave him a grumble but did not awaken.
"Rose?" He whispered. She snored softly back.
'Well', he thought to himself, 'Maybe I can just...'
He moved slowly from the covers, and as gently as possible he swung one long leg over her, followed by the accompanying arm. She stirred slightly and he froze, not even breathing, trying to keep her asleep. He just wanted something to do. Might pop to the TARDIS to grab a book, maybe wander the street for a bit. He wasn't leaving, he just couldn't stay there where he'd be subjected to the accidental psychic onslaught of his hormonal partner.
Once he was safely on the floor beside the bed, he stooped down and grabbed his shoes from under the bed frame, creeping out from room, opening the door with the same slow, careful pace he'd used to escape the bed. He pulled the door behind him and waited, listening to make sure he'd not woken Rose up.
Down the hall, the Doctor could hear the sound of late night television playing on low, the faint flicker of blue-white light on the hallway walls signaled that Jackie had fallen asleep in front of the tele, as Rose had mentioned was her normal habit.
Shoes in hand, he continued slinking slowly down, doing his very best to make little to no noise if possible. He checked the clock on the wall against his internal one and concluded it was late enough that Jackie should be out as well. He couldn't see her from where he was, as the couch had its back to the hall, but he kept slow just in case. He'd almost made it to the door when a voice from the sitting room nearly made him jump out of his skin, both hearts racing.
"Headed off, are ya?" Jackie called, her voice harsh and angry.
"Ahh... Not so much, really." The Doctor defended. "Just erm... I don't really sleep much. Don't need to, as it were. And I get a bit restless, just laying still, you see."
"Oh, is that right?" Jackie said, turned around from her place on the couch, her eyes drilling into his.
"Normally, I just go find something to do. Something to work on. Something to read. That's all- was going for a book. I fixed your washing machine last night while you two slept, so I just needed something else to do." He promised. He swallowed as he watched Rose's mother consider him carefully. She stood from her seat and came around to the back of the couch, propping against it, arms crossed.
"Are you?" She urged, her eyes so sharp even in this dim light he felt as if she was searching his very soul. A protective mother if ever there was one.
"Yes." He nodded. "Cross my hearts."
Jackie looked at him again, clicked her tongue against her teeth and shook her head.
"You can't just leave her again. Not like this..." Jackie said. "Not that I'd be upset to have my girl home, mind, but she'd be destroyed. Absolutely devastated."
"Jackie, believe me." The Doctor pleaded, trying to keep their volume low, "There is no force in this universe that would keep me from her. Not now. If you don't believe me, come with me. Just going to grab the book I'd been reading. Maybe the next couple in the set to have for reading while you two sleep."
She considered him for a moment. It looked as if she wanted to argue more, but she waved him off.
"Fine, on your head be it." She snorted. "Just know if you don't wander on back here by the time she's up in the morning, it'll be me you answer to. Its one thing for you two to not want to tell me about the pregnancy, but God help you, Doctor, if you leave her again..."
"You know?" His eyes were wide.
"Of course I know!" Jackie scoffed, her voice raising. "You think I can't tell when my own daughter's body has changed? I knew when she walked in."
"Jackie, please, I'm begging you, please keep your voice down..." The Doctor sputtered, his hands held up. "I'm seriously just going to get my book. Should've brought it-"
"Wa's goin' on?" Rose's sleep-thick voice called from the hall. The Doctor turned and gave Jackie an angry look, his jaw set, upset she'd woken Rose up.
"Was just going to get my book..." He nodded toward the door. "Your mum was-"
"Just up watching tele. Couldn't sleep, thinking about the tests tomorrow..." She smiled, cutting him off. "You know how I can't sleep most nights anyways."
"No, 'cause you two were squabbling down here. I heard you." Rose mumbled as she rubbed her eyes and flipped on the light, before flopping against the Doctor's side under the arm he held up for her.
"Erm..." The Doctor looked at Jackie over Rose's mess of bedhead, giving her a pointed glare. "Your mum found us out, Rose."
"What?" Rose stood upright, suddenly very awake. Her hands both came down to her stomach instinctively.
"Oh Rose..." Jackie gushed, "I could tell when you walked in my door. I just wanted to let you tell me. But how could I not know? You're positively glowing."
Rose looked at her mother, her large brown eyes filling up with tears. She took a shaky breath and swallowed, and she felt the Doctor take her hand and lace her fingers through his. She looked at him for a second, then back to Jackie.
"I didn't want to add any stress, ya know, with your heart." Rose defended. "We'd talked a lot about how we were going to tell you, but it just..."
"I understand." Jackie smiled softly. She stepped forward, arms outstretched, and Rose met her, crying softly as she allowed herself to give into her mother's embrace. Jackie pulled her back and took Rose's face in her hands, her own tears swelling in her eyes, but she smiled at her daughter again. "But something like this," She moved one hand from Rose's face to her small belly, "This isn't going to hurt my heart, sweet girl. Not if you're happy. If you're happy, then I'm the happiest grandmum in the world!"
"I really am, Mum." Rose smiled, shrugging to wipe her face on her sleeve. "Six months now... It's a little complicated, but so far, they're a healthy little baby."
"Complicated?!" Jackie demanded, looking past Rose to the Doctor, concerned.
"Ah, that's-"
"Its a sixteen month pregnancy, Mum." Rose cut the Doctor off. "Still ten to go."
Jackie opened her mouth as if to say something, but she looked stumped. She looked down, then back to Rose, then once more to the Doctor.
"Sixteen months?" She repeated. "Sixteen months?!"
"Two hearts, lot of growing to do." The Doctor explained, stepping a bit closer to Rose's side.
Jackie looked over at the Time Lord in her sitting room and really took him in for the first time since she'd seen him in this body. He'd changed so much from the man that had first stolen Rose away, and she didn't even count on the outside. That was beyond the point. He appeared now to be every bit the anxious father to be that she'd expect, and suddenly she felt a bit bad for doubting where he was going in the middle of the night. She smiled softly, and let go of Rose, crossing the short distance to the Doctor.
When she stopped before him, the Doctor closed his eyes and flinched away, expecting another slap, so it scared him more when he felt her wrap her arms around his thin frame. He looked to Rose, who gave him a tongue-biting grin, so he pulled one arm loose and returned the hug, however awkwardly.
"So you're okay, mum?" Rose ask as Jackie let the Doctor go.
"Well, Of course I have a thousand questions. But yes! Of course I am- Heaven's sake I-" Her voice broke, even as she smiled, "I'm a grandmum!"
"Just- Thing is Mum..." Rose sighed. She looked up to the Doctor, who shrugged and gave her another look, "We- Or rather, I specifically... I don't want this around the Estate yet. For one thing, the math won't add up for anyone. I mean, yes my baby is half alien, but that isn't hardly anyone else's business, is it?"
"I suppose that's fair." Jackie's face fell slightly. "Going to be hard to keep it in, but I swear I will. Haven't told anyone you've run off with an alien, so I can keep this in, too."
"Thanks Mum." Rose hugged her again. She turned and looked at the Doctor, giving him a sleepy smile. "You're not going back to sleep, are you?"
"Not for a day or two, no." He laughed, scratching at the back of his head, causing his hair to stick up worse than normal. "Sorry, love."
"Not your fault. Go on, get your books." She nudged him toward the door. "Oh! And bring me those slippers from that market on the Swutin Moon. They feel so good on my feet."
"Right-o." He smiled, taking his leave out the door. Rose moved to the window and watched as he walked down the stairs of their building before she turned to her mother and took a deep breath.
"I haven't seen those slippers in like... Three weeks. That should give us at the very least half an hour. Come on- Let's sit and you can ask whatever you want before he gets back."
Jackie handed a mug of tea to Rose as she sat down with her own. She looked at her child, considering for a moment where she wanted to start. Rose could see it on her mother's face, and she nearly laughed in amusement. "Go on, Mum. Just ask. Whatever it is, may as well get it in the open."
"Six months... The other one- He's the father, innit he?" Jackie said, biting at her thumbnail.
"He's the same person, Mum." Rose reminded her. "But uh- yeah. It was that body he had at the time."
Jackie gave a look of mock-shock, grasping at her chest over-dramatically. "Poor baby- those ears."
"MUM!" Rose scolded.
"Its not-" Jackie continued to bit at her nails. "Oh, Rose. I don't want to upset you..."
"Just ask." Rose rolled her eyes.
"Its a normal looking baby, yeah? Not like... like green or nothing?" She ask, lowering her voice.
Rose laughed out loud.
"No mum, it'll be just like a normal, human baby. Minus the binary-cardio system." Rose snickered.
"And he's really taking care of you?" Jackie looked more concerned now.
"He is, yeah." Rose answered quickly. She nodded, her eyes not quite meeting Jackie's now. Jackie squinted back at her, trying to read her face. Rose had tensed a bit at the question.
"Wa's goin' on, then?" Jackie ask, sitting forward. "What is it you're not telling? Is he doing something to you that ya don' like?"
"No, not exactly, Mum." Rose rolled her eyes again. "It's fine, I promise."
"Isn't tho!" Jackie waved her off. "I can tell. I can always tell. How'd you not know that, considerin' what we've just had happen just now? Come on, it's me. You've always been able to tell me anythin', you know you can."
Rose bit at her lip and looked at the floor for a long moment. She took a deep breath and let it out in a heavy sigh.
"He won't-" Rose paused and swallowed. "He-"
"Go on." Jackie encouraged her, reaching out to hold Rose's hand.
"He won't sleep with me now, Mum." Rose blurted at once. "Hasn't since he changed. I don't know why, but it's making me insane. We get kind of in the moment and I think we might, then he backs off. Its like I have all these hormones and I haven't got anywhere to just-" She growled and threw herself back into the cushion of her chair, covering her face with both hands.
"You haven't even taken this one for a spin?" Jackie snorted. "Blimey."
"Muuuuum..." Rose whined. "You said I could talk to you... That isn't funny. I'm going absolutely mad."
"Sounds like you need to talk to him, not me." Jackie shrugged.
"I want to. But it's different now. He's different about some things, and I don't even know where I'd start. I swear sometimes it's like he's scared of me." Rose took a large, shuddering breath. "He's nine-hundred and two, mum. Thing is- he's had kids before. Lost them all, ya know, in the War. He's..." She closed her eyes and shook her head. "Its just hard."
"Well, I tell you what I'd do if it was me." Jackie sat forward again. "Nothing to do for two whole hours tomorrow while I'm at hospital. Talk it out. He probably is terrified to do this again, given that he's been through that."
Both women quieted and turned as the front door opened and the Doctor reappeared, stack of novels tucked under his arm and Rose's slippers in his hand along with some sort of long .
"Hope I didn't take too long. You should both be getting some rest." He called, placing his books on the kitchen counter.
"You're fine." Rose smiled. "What have you got there?" She ask as he knelt down and out her slippers at her feet. Jackie nearly melted at the gesture.
"Oh!" The Doctor grinned. "Reading lamp. Clips right to the book, so you can sleep and I can read. Come on- off to bed. Allons-y. Big day tomorrow!" He said, herding them both toward the bedrooms. "Come on, come on."
"Right, fine." Jackie groaned, kissing Rose's cheek at her bedroom door. "Goodnight darling. Doctor." She called.
"Goodnight mum!" Rose called back, and the Doctor gave her a wave.
Back inside her bedroom, Rose sat on the bed, waiting for the Doctor to get into his spot first so she could lay down. He could see the worry on her face, so he gently stroked her cheek with the back of his hand.
"Penny for 'em?" He ask quietly. Rose simply shook her head.
"Just worried about mum, that's all." she tried to assure him as she lay back into her pillows. The Doctor sat up and watched her for a moment, but when she simply curled into her normal sleep position and closed her eyes, he decided it was best not to press the matter, so he simply settled against the wall and opened his book, preparing for a long rest of the night.
Thanks so much for reading!
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